与英语有关的笑话

与英语有关的笑话

与英语有关的笑话

一位在美的留学生,想要考国际驾照。在考试时因为过于紧张,看到地上标线是向左转。

他不放心的问道:turn left?

监考官回答:right. 于是他立刻向右转,结果可想而知考试不及格……

某人刻苦学习英语,终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞,忙说:I am sorry.

老外应道:I am sorry too.

某人听后又道:I am sorry three.

老外不解,问:What are you sorry for? 某人无奈,道:I am sorry five.

有关经典英语小笑话爆笑-20个英语笑话爆笑超短

有关经典英语小笑话爆笑|20个英语笑话爆笑超短 笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。笑话带来的幽默感可以让我们交到更多的朋友。小编分享有关爆笑经典英语小笑话,希望可以帮助大家! 有关爆笑经典英语小笑话:Good News and Bad News The soldiers had been marching and fighting, they were dirty, hot and tired. One day, the general announced: “My men, I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which one would you like first?” ”The good news!” they all shouted. ”OK,” said the General. “The good news is that you will each be receiving a complete change of clothing.” ”Hurrah!” chorused the soldiers. ”And now for the bad news. Jack, you will change with John. John, you will change with Tom. Tom, you will change with Robert. Robert .... 好消息和坏消息 士兵们连续的行军,作战,他们又累又热又脏。一天,将军宣布: “士兵们,我有一些好消息和坏消息要告诉你们。你们愿意先听哪个呢?” “好消息!”他们嚷道。 “好吧,”将军说,“好消息就是你们每个人都可以彻底的换一身 衣服。” “乌拉!”士兵们高兴地大叫起来。 “现在呢,该是坏消息了。杰克,你将和约翰换衣服,约翰,你和汤姆 换,汤姆,你和罗伯特换,罗伯特……”有关爆笑经典英语小笑话:Help! Doctor! Help! Doctor! Please come quickly! ”My ten-year-old son has just swallowed a pen!” ”Ok , I’ll be right there. I’ll be there in 10 to 20 minutes.” ”Good,but....what am I supposed to do in the meantime?” ”Just use another pen!” 急诊 “唉!医生!你赶快来! 我那个十岁的小孩刚刚吞下去一支笔!” “喔!我马上过去,大概十分钟或二十分钟就会到了!” ”是,不过在.....在这个中间我该怎么办呢?” “用别的笔嘛!”有关爆笑经典英语小笑话:Do What You Can Originally in English In a courtroom, the judge sentenced a criminal to thirty years in prison and the prisoner said, “But Sir, I won’t live that long!” So the judge replied, “Don’t worry; just do what you can!” 尽力而为就好 在法庭上,法官宣判某个罪犯要服三十年徒刑。 犯人说:「不过庭上,我活不了那么久啊!」 法官说:「别担心!你尽力而为就好。」

短篇英语笑话10则带翻译

短篇英语笑话10则带翻译 ①Goldfish金鱼 Stan: I won 92 goldfish. Fred: Where are you going to keep them? Stan: In the bathroom 。 Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath? Stan: Blindfold(蒙眼睛)them! =================================================================== 斯丹:我赢了92 条金鱼。 弗雷德:你想在哪儿养它们? 斯丹:浴室。 弗雷德:但是你想洗澡时怎么办? 斯丹:蒙住它们的眼睛! ②The Revenge 欺骗的代价 Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Johnson: "But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!" =================================================================== 老农约翰逊就要死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地对妻子说:“我死后,我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。” 妻子说:“不,在你死后,我不能嫁给任何人。” 约翰逊:“但我希望你这么做。” 妻子:“为什么?” 约翰逊:“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。” ③I think that I'm a chicken 我想我是一只鸡 Psychiatrist: What's your problem? Patient: I think I'm a chicken. Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on? Patient: Ever since I was an egg! =================================================================== 精神病医师:你哪里不舒服? 病人:我认为我是一只鸡。 精神病医师:这种情况从什么时候开始的? 病人:从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。 ④How do I get the gum out我怎么把口香糖取出来 Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keep their ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed up to her and said, "I'm meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum out from my ears?" =================================================================== 当空中小姐给乘客们发口香糖的时候,她解释说口香糖有助于他们防止耳鸣。飞机着陆后,一位乘客跑到这位空中小姐面前,说道:“ 我马上就要见到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖从耳朵里面取出来呢?”

英语幽默笑话带翻译新精编版

英语幽默笑话带翻译新 GE GROUP system office room 【GEIHUA16H-GEIHUA GEIHUA8Q8-

英语幽默笑话带翻译 1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!" 医生懂得多 一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多." 2:You can't go without me The bus is very crowded. A man tries to get on, but no one gives way to him. "Hey, let me get on the bus." the man shouts. "It's too crowded. You'd better take the next bus." a passenger says to him. "But you can't go without me. I'm the driver." the man says. 没有我你们走不了 公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路.

关于爆笑的英语笑话大全

关于爆笑的英语笑话大全 导读:我根据大家的需要整理了一份关于《关于爆笑的英语笑话大全》的内容,具体内容:民间笑话故事像神话小说等民间文学一样,是广大劳动人民在长期的生产劳动和与自然界作斗争的过程中,以口头形式创作和传承的文学体裁。本文是关于爆笑的英语笑话,希望对大家有帮助!关于...民间笑话故事像神话小说等民间文学一样,是广大劳动人民在长期的生产劳动和与自然界作斗争的过程中,以口头形式创作和传承的文学体裁。本文是关于爆笑的英语笑话,希望对大家有帮助! 关于爆笑的英语笑话篇一 VIEWING THE PAINTING A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden. "Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British." "Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "Theyre naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French." "No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and theyre being told this is paradise. They are Russian." 关于爆笑的英语笑话篇二 IN THE CONFESSION BOX

经典幽默英语故事(30个)-(1)

经典幽默英语故事(50个) 要求: 1、每天阅读两篇小故事,写出故事大意,尽量理解故事里的幽默点。 2 3、开学后,请把这14页的阅读素材,装订成册,上交给各班的英语老师。老师会根据你的完成情况,给你的阅读作业打出分数。 姓名:_________ 班级:_________ 学号:_________ 成绩:_________ 第一篇 My First and My Last When George was thirty-five, he bought a small plane and learned to fly it. He soon became very good and made his plane do all kinds of tricks. George had a friend. His name was Mark. One day George offered to take Mark up in his plane. Mark thought, "I've travelled in a big plane several times, but I've never been in a small one, so I'll go." They went up, and George flew around for half an hour and did all kinds of tricks in the air. When they came down again, Mark was very glad to be back safely, and he said to his friend in a shaking voice, "Well, George, thank you very much for those two trips in your plane." Gerogy was very surprised and said, "Two trips?" "Yes, my first and my last," answered Mark. 故事大意: _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________第二篇 First Flight Mr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before and he had read a lot about air accidents, so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr. Johnson was

夏天两个与空调有关的笑话-趣味英语.doc

(1) Liz: Geez! Your room is like an ice-box! 莉斯:老天!你这屋简直是冰箱啊! Terri: No, it's not! It's just comfortable. 特里:不是啊,刚刚好。 Liz: Yeah, if you're a penguin. Just look at me! Even my goose bumps have goose bumps! 莉斯:刚刚好,如果你是企鹅的话。看看我,我都起鸡皮疙瘩了! Terri: Get outta here! I think you're exaggerating! 特里:快出去,你太夸张了! Liz: No, I'm not. Where's the thermostat? 莉斯:我才没有呢。温度调节器在哪呢? Terri: By the door, on the wall. 特里:门旁边,墙上。 Liz: No wonder I'm cold! This thing is set at 65?!

莉斯:怪不得我冷。你把它调到65度?! Terri: Like I said -- perfect! 特里:就像我说的,正好! Liz: If you live in Alaska. By the way, where's the shovel? 莉斯:如果你住在阿拉斯加才正好。哎,铲子在哪? Terri: Why do you need a shovel? 特里:你要铲子干吗? Liz: So I can dig us out when it starts snowing in here. 莉斯:这屋子里下雪的时候把我们俩挖出来呀。 (2) John: It's like an oven in here! You must be roasting! 约翰:这屋简直像个烤箱!你快被烤熟了吧? Martha: Actually, I'm just comfortable. 玛撒:实际上,我感觉刚好。 John: You've got to be kidding me. It has to be over 95 degrees in here!

经典英语笑话故事大全

经典英语笑话故事大全 Four Catholic ladies were having coffee. The first Catholic woman tells her friends "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him "Father." The second Catholic woman chirps, "My son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people call him, "Your Grace." The third Catholic mother says, "My son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, "Your Eminence." Since the fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence, the first three women give her this subtle, "Well?" So she replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6' 2", hard-bodied dancer. When he walks into a room, people say, "Oh my God!" A drunken man staggered into a Catholic church, sat down in the Confessional and said nothing. The priest is waiting and waiting and waiting. The priest coughs to attract the drunk man's attention, but still the man says nothing. The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak. Finally the drunk replies, "No use knockin,' pal. There's no paper." As the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was sinking fast. He called out, "Anyone here know how to pray?" One man stepped forward. "Aye, Captain, I know how to pray." "Good," said the captain, "you pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets - we're one short." A man went to see his Rabbi and said, "Rabbi, if I give up drinking, partying all night, chasing the opposite sex and start coming to Synagogue regularly instead, will I live longer?" "No," the Rabbi replied, "It will just feel longer."

关于英语小笑话故事短文精选

关于英语小笑话故事短文精选 my two sister and i were all away at various colleges at the same time. one day, after facing one crisis too many and tired of being treated like just another undergraduate, i phoned home for some consolation and understanding of my unique problems. 我和两个妹妹同时离开家去不同的大学读书。经历了太多的危机,也厌倦了受到与其 他大学生相同的对待之后,有一天我给家里打了个电话,就我独有的问题寻求安慰和理解。 when my dad answered, i immediately launched into my litany连祷,冗长故事 of frustrations with college life. as i paused to catch my breath, he said, "o.k., honey...now, fist of all, who is this?" 爸爸接起电话后,我立刻开始历数我大学生活中的挫折。当我停下来歇口气时,爸爸说:“好啦,亲爱的...现在,首先告诉我,你是哪一个?” bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. he went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills. 鲍勃晚上失眠。他去看医生,医生给他开了一些强力安眠药。 sunday night bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. he took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: i didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning. 星期天晚上鲍勃吃了药,睡得很好,在闹钟响之前就醒了过来。他到了办公室,遛达 进去,对老板说:我今天早上起床一点麻烦都没有。 that's fine, roared the boss, but where were you monday and tuesday? 好啊!老板吼道,那你星期一和星期二到哪儿去了? the suspicious-looking man drove up to the border, where he was greeted by a sentry哨兵 . when the guard looked in the trunk, he was surprised to find six sacks bulging at the seams缝合线. 一个形迹可疑的人开车来到边境,哨兵迎了上去。哨兵在检查汽车行李箱时,惊奇地 发现了六个接缝处鼓得紧绷绷的大口袋。 "what's in here?" he asked. “里面装的是什么?”他问道。

关于爆笑的英语笑话大全

关于爆笑的英语笑话大全 民间笑话故事像神话小说等民间文学一样,是广大劳动人民在长期的生产劳动和与自然界作斗争的过程中,以口头形式创作和传承的文学体裁。本文是关于爆笑的英语笑话,希望对大家有帮助! VIEWING THE PAINTING A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden. "Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British." "Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French." "No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise. They are Russian." IN THE CONFESSION BOX A drunken man staggers in to a Catholic church and sits down in a confession box and says nothing. The bewildered priest cough to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing. The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak. Finally, the drunk replies, "No use knocking, there's no paper in this one either." A SMALL SERVICE ONE SUNDAY MORNING A husband and wife attend a small service at the local church one Sunday morning. The man was very moved by the preacher's sermon, so he stopped to shake the preacher's hand. Reverend, that was the best damn sermon I ever did hear!" The Reverend replied, "Oh! Why, thank you sir, but please, I'd appreciate it if you didn't use profanity in the Lord's house." "I'm sorry Reverend, but I can't help myself... it was such a damn good sermon!"

最搞笑的英语小笑话十则

最搞笑的英语小笑话十则 篇一:爆笑的经典英语小笑话 英语笑话(一) 老师在黑板上写了一句:Timeismoney.并让同学们翻译。有名学生答道:“汤姆是玛丽。”小明上英文课时跟老师说:mayIgotothetoilet? 老师说:goahead. 小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿,小明又跟老师说:mayIgotothetoilet? 老师说:goahead. 小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问:你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗?怎么不去?小明说:你没听老师说「去你个头」啊! 英语笑话(二) 某日刘洪涛遇到外宾,上前搭话曰:Iamhongtaoliu,外宾曰:我Tm 还是方片七呢!英语笑话(三) 江青会见外宾,要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻,不许走样。外宾一见到江青,立刻拍马屁道:"missJiang,youareverybeautiful."翻译照翻,江青心花怒放,嘴上还要谦虚一下:“哪里,哪里”。 翻译不敢怠慢,把江青的话翻成英文:"where?where?"外宾一愣,还有这样的人,追问哪里漂亮的,干脆马屁拍到底:"everywhere,everywhere." 翻译:“你到处都很漂亮。”江青更高兴了,但总是要客气一下:“不

见得,不见得”。翻译赶紧翻成英文:"Youarenotallowedtosee,youarenotallowedtosee." 英语笑话(四) 话说某年某月的某一天,叁个神箭手约在一起比箭,目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。A神箭手挽弓长射,咻一声,利箭正中苹果。A高傲的昂起下巴,比出一根大拇指道:「IAm后羿!」 b神箭手照本宣科,射中苹果,这回他自大的喊了一句:「IAm丘比特!」 轮到c了,他也挽弓,利箭射出!结果正中仆人的心脏。就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句:「I...I...I...Am...soRRY...」 英语笑话(五) 某人刻苦学习英语,终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞,忙说:Iamsorry.老外应道:Iamsorrytoo. 某人听后又道:Iamsorrythree. 老外不解,问:whatareyousorryfor? 某人无奈,道:Iamsorryfive. 英语笑话(六) 一位来自日本的旅客,坐出租车去机场的路上,看到一辆汽车经过,就说:“oh,ToKoTA!madeinJapan!Itisveryfast!”又有一辆经过,他又说:“oh,nIssAn!madeinJapan!Itisveryfast!”司机有点不高兴,觉得他太吵了!当第三辆经过时,他还是说:“oh,honDA!madeinJapan!Itisveryfast!”

最新有关笑话的英语怎么说

【篇一】笑话的英语怎么说 笑话的英文: joke jest jape 参考例句: A rum joke 拙劣的笑话 A vulgar gesture,suggestion,joke 下流的手势、示意、笑话. She's fond of jesting 她喜欢讲笑话。 He has a wide repertoire of dirty jokes. 他一肚子下流笑话. She savoured the joke with relish. 她对这个笑话很感兴趣. A prudish refusal to enjoy rude jokes 拘谨得听不得粗俗的笑话. The rapid-fire jokes of a comedian 喜剧演员连续说出的笑话. They groaned at his dirty joke. 他们对他下流的笑话发出不满之声。

The speaker played to the gallery by indulging in vulgar jokes. 为了哗众取宠,那位演讲者大讲粗俗笑话。 He just roared when he heard that joke! 他听了那笑话就哈哈地笑起来. 【篇二】笑话的英语表达 1.(引人发笑的故事, 笑料) joke; jest; jape 2.(耻笑; 讥笑) laugh at; ridicule; howl; sneer at 例句: Her , offers to help ? that is a laugh ! 她,主动帮她忙?简直是笑话! I was tickled to death at the joke . 听了那笑话,我的肚皮都笑破了。 I was?greatly tickled at the joke . 想起这个笑话感到有趣得了不得。 I slipped a few jokes into the speech . 我在讲话中巧妙地加了几句笑话。 Tell us a joke to liven things up . 你说个笑话让大伙儿热闹热闹吧。 The conversation was enlivened with jokes . 笑话使谈话变得活泼。 I thought his jokes were in very poor taste . 我认为他讲的笑话太粗俗了。

10个经典英语笑话(带中文对照)

10个经典英语笑话(带中文对照).txt如果青春的时光在闲散中度过,那么回忆岁月将是一场凄凉的悲剧。杂草多的地方庄稼少,空话多的地方智慧少。即使路上没有花朵,我仍可以欣赏荒芜。Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt. A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms. Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else" The nurse asked. "Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor."杰克骑车摔伤,得住院治疗.一位年轻美貌的护士拿着表格让填.仞杰克填好递上表格"还有什么漏填的"护士问. "有!"杰克想了想说,"我是个单身汉."Wife:You to te statistics on thepaper,80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk :It's okey. To my investigation,all Thespeopleeat meals.妻子:你看这张报纸,据统计,死于肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的.丈夫:那有什么据我调查,死予肝癌的人100%都吃饭的."Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine.""YoursCan you prove it""Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it.""请原谅,你占了我的位置.""你的位置你能征明这点吗""能,我在位置上放了杯冰激凌."One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me"Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice"一天,夏娃问亚当:"你当真爱我吗"亚当无可奈何地回答:"我还有的选择吗"Always Thirsty"I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me.""That"s terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain""No, but I am always thirsty!"总感到口渴一个男人对他的朋友说:“我动了一次手术,手术后医生把一块海绵忘在我的身体里了。”“真是太糟糕了!”朋友说道:“你觉得疼吗”“不疼,可是我总感到口渴。”A Useful WayFather: Jack, why do you drink so much waterJack: I have just had an apple, : What"s that got to do with itJack: I forgot to wash the apple.一个有效的方法爸爸:杰克,你干嘛喝这么多水呀杰克:我刚才吃了个苹果,爸爸。爸爸:可是这跟喝水有什么关系呢杰克:我忘了洗苹果呀。A PresentKate: Mom, do you know what I"m going to give you for your birthdayMom: No, Honey, whatKate: A nice : But I"ve got a nice : No, you haven"t. I"ve just dropped it.凯特的礼物凯特:妈妈,你知道我要给你一件什么生日礼物吗妈妈:不知道,宝贝,是什么呀凯特:一把漂亮的茶壶。妈妈:可是我已经有一把漂亮的茶壶了呀。凯特:不,你没有了。我刚刚把它给摔了。The Doctor Knows BetterA man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill.""I am afraid that he is dead." said the this, the man moved his head and said: "I"m not dead. I"m still alive.""Be quiet, " said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"医生懂得多一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院。他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:“我想他伤得很厉害。”医生说:“恐怕他已经死了。”听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:“我没死,我还活着。”妻子说:“安静,医生比你懂得多。”Waste or SaveFather: Oh, Jack, you have slept away the whole morning. Don"t you know you are wasting timeJack: Yes, Dad. But I"ve saved you a meal, haven" I 浪费还是节约父亲:噢,杰克,你又睡了一上午。难道你不知道你这是在浪费时间吗杰克:我知道,爸爸。可我还给您节省了一顿饭呢,是不是Why Is He HowlingDentist: Please stop howling. I haven"t even touched your tooth : I know, but you are standing on my foot!他为什么喊牙医:请你不要再喊了!我还没碰你的牙呢。病人:我知道,可是你正踩着我的脚呀!

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英语笑话故事 He Won Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他赢了 汤姆:约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗? 约翰尼:他害病卧床了。他受了伤。 汤姆:真糟糕,怎么回事儿? 约翰尼:我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,他赢了。 I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问,“发生了什么事?” “一个男孩咬了我一口,”伊凡说。 “再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问。

“他走到哪里我都能认出他,”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。” A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了?” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。“你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?” “她是个卖糖果的。” Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interest ed in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?""Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there a re standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

英语幽默笑话故事带翻译

英语幽默笑话故事带翻译 篇一:英语短文笑话(带翻译) 1、How much English can you speak? "Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English." The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?" The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!" 中文翻译 "法官先生,我的当事人被指控偷窃,这是多么不公正啊。他一周前才来到纽约,几乎不认路。而且,他只会说几个英语单词。" 法官看了看被告,问道:"你会说多少英文?" 被告抬起头,说:"把你的钱包给我!" 2 A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use on average only 15000 words a day, whereas women use 30000 words a day. She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say. He said, "What?" 丈夫给妻子看了一项调查结果,为了向她证明女人比男人啰嗦。研究表明男人平均每天使用15000个字,而女人每天使用30000个。 妻子想了一会儿说,女人每天说的字数是男人的两倍,因为她们必须重复已经说过的话。他问:"什么?" 3 Boy: Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. 男孩:这个座位是空的么? 女孩:是的,如果你坐下,我的座位也将是空的。 4、 "Tom, what's the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen. "He's crying." "Oh, nothing, Mum," replied Tom. "I'm eating my cake. He is crying because I won't give him any." "But has he finished his own cake?" "Yes." said Tom. "And he also cried when I was helping him finish that." "汤姆,你弟弟怎么了?" 妈妈在厨房里问。"他在哭。" "没事儿,妈妈," 汤姆答道。"我在吃我的蛋糕。他哭是因为我不给他吃。" "他已经吃完自己的了么?" "是的。" "我帮他吃完时,他也哭了。"

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