英语演讲稿3分钟搞笑

英语演讲稿3分钟搞笑

英语演讲稿3分钟搞笑

篇一：

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时间:201X-10-11 13:25:16QQ:1959478550

篇二：

英语演讲稿3分钟搞笑突然想起初中的时候，在教室里大家吃完午饭后就开始学习，一个同学男生的裤子拉链上完厕所没拉，我们班

长看到了，就好意的提醒一下跟他说：

“你的鸡圈门没关。”当时他还没当回事。不过其他同学都笑了。

篇三：

英语演讲稿3分钟搞笑好消息和坏消息士兵们连续的行军，作战，他们又累又热又脏。一天，将军宣布：

“士兵们，我有一些好消息和坏消息要告诉你们。你们愿意先听哪个呢？”“好消息！”他们嚷道。“好吧，”将军说，“好消息就

是你们每个人都可以彻底的换一身衣服。”“乌拉！”士兵们高兴地

大叫起来。“现在呢，该是坏消息了。杰克，你将和约翰换衣服，约翰，你和汤姆换，汤姆，你和罗伯特换，罗伯特……”最恶心的地毯A Florida ouple have been ordered to take up a arpet - from their front garden.Steve and Mildred Nadairski sa the overed their lan ith arpet beause the had had no luk ith grass seed.

The ould not afford to spend￡160 on turf so deided to put arpet on the lan of their Port Rihe Home. Mr Nadairski said he didn t think it as ritten anhere that ou ouldn t have arpet on our front lan. But the ouple fell foul of a bela forbidding the olletion of publi nuisane items suh as junk ars and applianes. A proseutor argued that inluded old arpet and a ourt agreed.Neighbours seemed pleased ith the ruling. One sas the arpeting, hih is et all the time, looks nast.佛罗里达州波特里奇市一对夫妇在他们屋前的花园铺上地毯，把草坪盖住，因为他们觉得草籽会坏了他们的好运气，同时，他们说付不起打理草坪所需的160英镑。当地法院命令这对夫妇把地毯移走。男主人为此争辩道，没有条文明令禁止在自家草坪上铺地毯，而检举人称，那张地毯太破旧了，就像破车等破烂玩意儿，给公众造成了困扰，违反了“公共损害条例”。邻居们对法院的判决都拍手称庆，说那张地毯整天都湿漉漉的，看起来“恶心死了”。篇

四：

英语演讲稿3分钟搞笑The Unfortunate Thief不幸的小偷Carl lost his job. He tried to find another one but it asn t eas. The poor fello ouldn t pa his bills1 beause he had so little mone, and he ouldn t ask anbod to lend him.Carl spent his das at home. He looked out of the indo and athed his neighbour s house. An old professor lived there alone. He never talked to his neighbours. Carl ould see into the professor s house

beause he never dre2 the urtain. The rooms ere full of

antique furniture and vases

3. Carl thought, Wh haven t I got an antique vase? I ould sell it for a lot of mone.Ever da Carl sa the professor. He

left at 10 o lok in the morning and ame home at 4 o lok. He had a dog. Carl often ent to the fene and plaed ith it or

give it a piee of meat.One da Carl thought, I ill go into the professor s house and steal a vase. I ill break the indo and limb in. The dog is not a problem.There as an old gun in the ellar

4. It had been his great grandfather s5 favourite thing a long time before. Carl didn t ant to use the gun but he thought, Anthing ould happen.He anted to hide the gun under

his oat but it as too long so he ut the end off ith a sa

6.Next morning he athed the professor leaving home at 10

o lok. Carl limbed over the fene. The dog ran to him and Carl gave it a big bone. He thre a piee of stone through the indo, hih broke. It asn t high. He ould limb into the house

easil.He looked around inside. There ere paintings on the

alls, small figures7 and vases on the shelves and the floor. Carl didn t kno muh about arts. He ouldn t hoose. He reahed

his hands toards a big vase hen he heard a noise. The front door opened and someone entered the house.It as the professor. He had forgotten to take an important doument. Carl beame

afraid and pulled out the gun. The professor ame into the room and sa him. What are ou doing in m house? he asked angril.I haven t stolen anthing. I just ant to go XX or I ill shoot, ried Carl.With that gun? asked the professor and he began to laugh. He asn t afraid of Carl.He said, You an t shoot ith that antique gun. Its plae is in a museum.8Is this reall an antique gun? asked Carl. Ho muh is it orth?It as orth about,000 dollars, said the professor. But no ou an get 10 dollars for it.Wh? asked Carl.The professor said, Beause its end is missing.

1. pa one s bill：

付帐单。

dr

a: 拉上（窗帘等）。

3. antique：

古老的；vase：

花瓶。

4. ellar：

地窖，地下室。

5. great grandfather: 曾祖父；外曾祖父。

6. end：

末尾，这里指枪托；sa：

锯子。

7. figure：

塑像。

8. 它的位置在博物馆里。意思是这杆枪是很值钱的古董。篇五：

英语演讲稿3分钟搞笑A oung man and an old man ere aiting for a bus at a station.The sat next to eah other.“What s

that in our bag?”asked the oung man,pointing to a big bag beside the old man.“Gold,nothing but gold,”ansered the old man.The oung man ould hardl believe his on ears,“What?”he said to himself in surprise.“So muh gold?M God!Ho I ish to be able to get so muh gold!”Then he began to think about ho to get the gold.The old man looked tired and sleep and it seemed that he ould hardl keep his ees open.“Are ou

sleep,sir?”asked the oung man.“Then ou d better lie don on the hair and have a good rest.Don t orr about the bus.I ll ake ou up in time.”“All right.It s ver kind of ou,oung man.”The old man la don and before long he fell asleep.The oung man took the big bag gentl.But hen he as about to run XX,he found a orner of his fur oat as under the old man s bod.Several times he tried to pull it out,but he ouldn t.At last he took off his oat and ent XX ith the bag.The oung man ran out of the station as quikl as his legs ould arr him.When he reahed a plae here he thought the old man ouldn t find him,he stopped and quikl opened the bag.To his surprise,there as nothing but a lot of small stones in it.He hurried to the

station at one.But hen he got there,he found the old man as gone.

附送：

英语演讲稿5分钟未来

英语演讲稿5分钟未来

拿着生命燃烧的轨迹，用他那双辛勤的双手，在黑板上书写着对党和人民忠贞的诺言。这里没有同学之间的无休争论，这里没有师生们的各抒已见，一切都是那么和谐，那么宁静。忽然间感觉自己走进了另一个世界。*******************M future ollege lifeFirst joined the shool, alas anted to list this piee of quiet beaut of Enron orld, enjo this piee of fluttering of flag, and harmon of nature sener, feel this part exists for the students sared territor.Morning glo of rimson light leap and loft ide blue sk, ill reflet the sk as bright red. Rising of the sun rising, mapping out the soft, tranquil s Zhaohui, Zhi Jiaoren mood exitement, the spirit of heart. Yang tall tree in the morning breeze in the jitter to the first leaf, first glane, as if fling in the air, numerous piees of silver. Purple floers ble the trumpet pull, it seems that the arrival of the morning in singing. To start a group of hite pigeons ings, in the free sk started the long, everthing is full of ne vitalit and energ up.Morning mist gentl bubbling the

plaground, the students dressed in olorful sportsear, his fae filled ith outhful vigor, bro shining light of isdom - the are running and jumping ith: run toard the ideal future; leap toard higher goals. The figure in the bright and the sun extraordinaril brisk, the pae of their fresh the morning sho as espeiall strong. This is the ampus earl in the morning, did not blok the sight of the loud of dust, no restless min d: full of vitalit, enthusiasm, vitalit, makes me feel the poer setor an not stop urging me in the a forard, and never slak.Foot ide and bright lassrooms, students kept bus ith their on textile future aspirations of the ees ith the knoledge of the oeans in searh of life s oordinates. 1 Nianuhuajia old professor, holding the burning path of life, ith his pair of hard hands, the blakboard insribed ith the promise of loalt to the part and the people. There is no dispute beteen the students round, there are no teahers and students all have our sa, everthing is so harmonious, so quiet. Suddenl feel into another orld.篇五：

英语演讲稿5分钟未来everbod good afternoon:.first of all thank the teaher gave me a stor in m on future ideal

job.everone has a dream job. m dream is to bee a boss, on a pan.in order to ahieve m dreams, i need to find a good job, to aumulate some experiene and ealth, it is the neessar thingsof ourse, in the shool good ahievement and rih knoledge

is also ver important. good ahievement and rih experiene an let me ork to make the right hoie, have more opportunities and ahievements.