雅思6分 大作文范文参考
●批改By Will
本次批改严格按照ILETS大作文评分标准进行。ILETS大作文评分项：TR (论证扣题度), CC (连贯性及一致性), GRA (语法范围及精准度), LR (词汇资源)。文末会进行总评及打分。
●文中标识：
用词不当逻辑错误语法错误修改添加
In recent years, medical care has been increasingly advancing which (注意你指的是前面一整段话，which前要加逗号改为非限制性的。) results in the much longer life span than ever before. This brings both strength and drawbacks(你每次写strength和drawback这两个词的时候最好把对象也说出来：This not only strengthens our entire species in terms of physical condition, but also brings a number of drawbacks to our community at the same time.). In my opinion, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.
Admittedly, the increase of life expectancy will individually improve the sense of happiness (用词改进：may lead to a higher satisfaction of life). When one has the opportunity to enjoy the longer life, that means much more time can be spent with their family members. In addition, as the medical care advancing (用词改进：the effect of such advancement reaches far beyond expectancy. In other words, not only... ), not only a much longer life but also a much healthier life would be achieved for everyone. Then people are highly likely to retire from work later than once did, accompanied by creating more value for the whole society. For example, as one aging, he becomes increasingly experienced in terms of special filed which he is always involved in. if the retirement time is prolonged, economical or social value will be continuallyavailable. (这个太像解释了不是例子，不是实际生活中发生的而是你的推测。如果想不出新闻之类的话，你可以举一些年龄越大贡献越大的职业，例如：Accountants, scientists and engineers)
However, there are a number of downside risks which cannot be ignored. One of the major drawbacks is that the increasing number of people caused by the much longer life span will lead to the shortage ofresources. This can be clearly demonstrated by the fact that (注意你后面讲的不是一个fact，而是一个possibility，这个句型可以改为：As a consequence, it may be very possible that)much less resources such(as)investments of children’s education and complete traffic system are available for citizens resulted from more fringe benefits for the elderly who live longer lives. Another adverse aspect is that there are much less space for people to live in. Because the birth rate is higher than the death rate caused by the increasing life expectancy (这个观点稍稍偏了，出生率更多是由生活保障比如工资福利等引起的。所以人口数量只是暂时或者不应该是问题，问题在于：Aging population-人口老龄化). What is worse, the consequent increase of environment pollution and traffic congestion can exert undesirable effects on people’s daily life. As we all know, the pollutants and wastes brought by daily life will
climbed (原型) with the number of population jumping. There is no doubt that people are more easy likely to (would be more likely to) get struck in traffic jams when the figures of people and vehicles become more.
没有结论？
总评6.0 （TA5.5 CC6.5 LR6.0 GRA6.5）
1.内容上必须要有一个结论，这是六分以上的必须要求。
2.反方的坏处还可以考虑：aging population; burden on government in providing social security for all等
3.词汇的重复性依旧稍稍强了，不过基本准确。
4.语法变化运用不错。从句和分词等数量足够，可以尝试倒装。
雅思6.5分 小作文范文参考
●批改By Will 本次批改严格按照ILETS小作文评分标准进行。ILETS小作文评分项：TA (内容的完整性), CC (连贯性及一致性), GRA (语法范围及精准度), LR (词汇资源)。文末会进行总评及打分。 ●文中标识： 用词不当逻辑错误语法错误修改添加 The graph provides the information concerning the average temperatures on a month basis in three major cities.(介于有两张图，都要提一下。此后可加一句：In addition, clearly demonstrated in the table are the time of sunshine on an annual base.) (补充：在下一段看到了你对于后一张图的总结，这样的话建议你在开头强调一下“the first graph”) As can be seen from the graph, there is a similar trend in terms of average monthly temperature between London and New York during the period from January to December. (可加入连接词：To be specific) The average temperature in London (介于你后面写的是两个城市的数据，这里改为：for both of the cities) gradually rises from January to July both in London and new york, reaching a peak at 25 degrees and 20 degrees respectively. After that, the following 4 months witness a dramatic decrease both in London and new york. In comparison (这里不妨分段), an opposite trend is found in Sydney. It (这是悉尼的第一句，建议写出来具体的量词至少：The temperature) keeps stable at 25 degrees from January to march, after which the average temperature undergoes a considerable descent, reaching the bottom point at approximately 15 degrees, before there is (there is 没必要了，可以去除) a steady ascent by 10 degrees. It is obvious that the table depicts the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities. As we can see from the statistics, when it comes to the total annual hours of sunshine, new york ranks first, followed by Sydney ,London lies last. Specifically, people who live in new york enjoy 2,353 hours of sunshine every year, which is similar to people living in London with 2,473 hours (不是人和人像，是时间长短像，改为：which is similar to the amount of sunshine for those in London). However, only 1,180 hours of sunshine are found in London annually. 总评6.5（TA6.5 CC6.5 LR6.5 GRA7.0） 1.语法变化上从句数量可以了，分词的使用还可以多一些。偶尔试试一到两句倒装，如我在开头给你的那个。 2.趋势等词汇变化可以，试着多换换题目话题词汇，如people=residents=citizens
雅思英语大作文范文100篇
some people claim that the disadvantages of the car are more than t he advantages, do you agree or disagree? 范文1 the birth of cars have made an enormous change to our life.in th e past,we travel from one place to another only by foot,nowaday,car s can do it .its goes withour saying that the invention of cars br ing great benefit to all of us.but as proverb goes:no garden withou t weeds.car is not exception. owing a car has a lot of advantages.for one thing,car provide us th e most convient way of transportation.we can get around freely withou t spenting a lot of time.emotionally,i always found driving is so ex citing.for another,its the comfortable to drive a car.In winter.driver s always can stay warm and dry even in rainy whether,in addition,dri vers are usually safe in their cars when they are out at night. Cars bring the human merits,their side-effects gradually come to th e surface.firstly,to run a car need a lot o f oil,which is gettin g l ess and less.the increasing number of cars contribute the lacking o f energy.secondlly,as more and more cars are used,the traffic ecpeci ally in bi g cities is getting heaver and heavier,whic h lead to th e serious social problem--traffic jam.in addition,the inceasing number s of cars ,which excaust sent a huge quantities of carbon monoxid e into atmosphere.it make the air o f cities unbreathabe,it strip peop le contact with frensh air. therefore, new energy should be explored to replace the oil so tha t our envionmental pollution can be avioded .and the strick law shou ld be issued to keep the numbers of cars under control.thus,our heav ier traffic can be solluted! 范文2 Private cars vs Public traffic As traffic problems become more and more serious in many cities o f developed and developin g countries, their governments have to try h ard and loads of money and energy have been spent to deal with the m. Firstly, it is not efficient for the commuters to use their privat e cars to and back from their workplaces. Occasionally we can see t
雅思写作九分作文范文欣赏
雅思写作九分作文范文欣赏： There is no doubt that helping students find a job is one of the primary functions of university education，but universities do exist for other purposes such as improving students’ analytical skills and raising students’ moral standards. A university education can be seen as a process of improving students’ analytical thinking. The variety of courses offered at university inspires students in various ways，therefore improving their analytical ability. For example，science courses such as math and biology help students develop a rational way of thinking whereas arts courses such as literature may let students ponder over issues from a logical，multi- dimensional perspective; and courses in social sciences force students to recognize the ideas that have been traditionally assumed to be acceptable and unproblematic.
雅思小作文及范文汇总
101. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The line graph below gives information about the number of visitors to three London museums between June and September 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. Test Tip Check the horizontal axis to find whether the graph refers to past, present, future or all three. We use the present simple to describe the graph: The graph shows… , We can see… If the graph refers to past period of time, we use the past simple, and if the graph includes future times, we use will or it is predicted that. Look at the line graph and complete the text with the correct forms of the verbs in brackets and the correct prepositions.
2016.12.17雅思真题大作文7分范文
Task：Some people think getting old is entirely bad. However, others think that life of the elderly in modern world is much easier than in the past. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. 思路解析： 2016年雅思收官之战的作文来了一道新题，问当今社会老年人的生活是不是很 糟糕?说是新题，因为本题以前从未原题出现过，但关于年龄的话题却不缺少。 比如2010年7月10日“年轻人是否适合担任政府要职”，2012年3月10日“老 龄化现象的原因及解决方法”，2012年3月31日“年轻人和老年人谁的价值更 高?”，2013年6月8日“政府是否应该对老年人养老提供财政支持?”，2015 年1月1日“年轻人当领导，行不行?”，2015年4月11日“老年人与年轻人 争夺工作职位，怎么办?”等等。 本题需要论证的对立观点是：年老很糟糕 vs. 当今社会年老没有那么糟糕。那 么，变老有哪些坏处呢?首先，当然是身体条件没有以前好了，甚至可能出现多 种疾病(物质层面);其次，不工作了，与人的联系少了，心里可能会感觉孤单， 甚至感觉没有价值了(精神层面);最后，变老后对社会的依赖程度更高，给社会 增加了压力(社会层面)。那么，这些问题在当今社会是不是得到了解决呢?首先， 医疗条件的改善有助于保持老年人的身体状况;互联网的出现有助于缓解老年人 的心理孤单问题;物质水平的提高也降低了老年人给社会造成的压力。如此观之， 现代社会老年人的生活的确容易多了，但我的观点是：外部条件只是改善老年人 生活的一个方面，最重要的还是老年人自己要积极调整心态，努力适应退休后的 生活，从而过一个更幸福更祥和的晚年。 Sample answer： Getting old is a natural process that nobody really likes. When you reach a certain age, your physical conditions will inevitably deteriorate, and you may suffer from various kinds of diseases. When you retire, you will feel isolated because your previous work contacts may be all gone, then you may feel useless to the world. Furthermore, when you get too old, you’ ll have to rely heavily on the support from others, either physically or emotionally, and your life will become a great pressure to your family and the whole society as well. For all these bad things about getting old, many people argue that the life of the elderly today is much easier than in the past. In the first place, medical advances nowadays have made it possible for the old people to stay sound and healthy for quite a long while even after they retire. Diseases such as diabetes, hypertension and heart attack which might have
雅思写作范文100篇(完整资料).doc
【最新整理，下载后即可编辑】 范文的思路好了。这样好的东西，可惜不是我整理的，是一个叫landfish姑娘收集的，厉害！ v105 Some people claim that the disadvantages of the car are more than the advantages,do you ag ree or disagree? 范文1 The birth of cars has made an enormous change to our life. In the past, we travelled fro m one place to another only by foot, nowadays, cars can do the same job . It goes withou r saying that the invention of cars bring great benefits to all of us. but as an ancient prove rb goes, no garden without weeds. Car is no exception. Owing a car has a lot of advantages. For one thing, car provides us the most convenient wa y of transportation. we can get around freely without spenting a lot of time. Emotionally, I always found driving is so exciting. For another , it is comfortable to drive a car.in winte r.Drivers always can stay warm and dry even in rainy weather .In addition, drivers are saf er in their cars when they are out at night. While cars bring the human a large number of merits ,their side-effects gradually come t o the surface .Firstly, running a car needs a lot of oil,which is getting less and less.The incre asing number of cars contributes the lack of energy.Secondlly,as more and more cars are util zed,the traffic ecpecially in big cities is getting heaver and heavier,which leads to the seriou s traffic jam.Moreover,the inceasing numbers of cars ,which excaust sent a huge quantitie s of carbon monoxide into atmosphere.It makes the air of cities unbreathable, it strips peop le’s contact with fresh air. Therefore, the new energy should be explored to replace the oil so that our envionmental p ollution can be avioded , and the strick law should be issued to keep the numbers of cars un der control. Thus, our heavier traffic can be solved!
雅思大作文5分与7分范文各项指数对比分析
雅思大作文5分与7分范文各项指数对比分析 Let’s compare two answers to a question.The topic is as follows: International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the advantages of international tourism outweigh the disadvantages? A Poor Essay – The following is a band 5 essay. International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages? In my opinion advantages outweight the disadvantages. Firstly, many countries like Egypt or Tailand live from tourism Lots of people work there as a seilsmens or tourist guides. These countries without support of tourists wouldn’t be able to funtcion properly. Secondly, in countries visited by tourists are plenty of places where people just can’t pass because of rare animals or plant s. Another thing is that people like traveling and seeing new exotic places. They like lie on the beach or swim in ocean. Furthermore, tourism is now more growing industry highering tousands of people. There are makeing new places to work and to have fun. But on the other hand, people often for get that they aren’t the only beings on the planet. Many tourists are living garbage just anywhere. Some of them wan’t an exotic souvenir so they pay for illegal things like dea d or live animals or some sculpture. To sum up I think international traveling is a good thing but people must realise that there is something else besides them. They need to know that flora and fauna needs to be protected. People have to enjoy their holidays but alsow protect environment. Below is an analysis of this essay. Task Response The essay question has been copied and used as the introduction (paragraph 1). Once these 34 words are taken off the word count, the response is underlength at 194 words and so loses marks. Nevertheless, the topic is addressed and a relevant position is expressed, although there are patches – as in the third paragraph – where the development is unclear. Other ideas are more relevant but are sometimes insufficiently developed.
2017雅思写作范文
为方便大家的雅思备考，北外网课第一时间准备了2017年2月25日雅思写作真题范文，由雅思教师撰写：探索太空OR关注地球，帮助雅思备考者分析写作思路，掌握写作技能。跟随北外网课长期学习能够有效提高写作水平，更多雅思备考信息和学习资料，外语在线学习平台北外网课实时为大家更新。欢迎关注。
Some people think the government should spend money to look for life on other planets, others think it is a waste of public money when the earth has so many unsolved problems. Discuss these both sides and give your own opinion 探索太空属于科技类话题，同学们写作的难点主要在于相关词汇可能积累较少，北外网课给出了一些关键词，一起看一下。 KEY WORD look for life on other planets ： look for aliens search for extraterrestrial intelligence exploring outer space / space exploration invest in space agencies and programs prioritize spending on the exploration of space Intro. P.（导入） Space exploration is costly, and many people argue that it should be halted since the gains from searching for extraterrestrial intelligence has few immediate benefits, and we should care for our own planet more. However, others support the outer space programmes for the sake of future tremendous gains and human nature.
雅思作文范文大全
好的东西，和大家分享，看这个帖子的人肯定比较多，大家别冒险背诵，了解一下范文的思路好了。 v105 some people claim that the disadvantages of the car are more than the advantages,do you agre e or disagree? 范文1 the birth of cars have made an enormous change to our life.in the past,we travel from one pl ace to another only by foot,nowaday,cars can do it .its goes withour saying that the inventi on of cars bring great benefit to all of us.but as proverb goes:no garden without weeds.ca r is not exception. owing a car has a lot of advantages.for one thing,car provide us the most convient way of tr ansportation.we can get around freely without spenting a lot of time.emotionally,i always fo und driving is so exciting.for another,its the comfortable to drive a car.In winter.driver s always can stay warm and dry even in rainy whether,in addition,drivers are usually safe i n their cars when they are out at night. Cars bring the human merits,their side-effects graudually come to the surface.firstly,to ru n a car need a lot of oil,which is getting less and less.the increasing number of cars contr ibute the lacking of energy.secondlly,as more and more cars are used,the traffic ecpeciall y in big cities is getting heaver and heavier,which lead to the serious social problem--traf fic jam.in addition,the inceasing numbers of cars ,which excaust sent a huge quantities of c arbon monoxide into atmosphere.it make the air of cities unbreathabe,it strip people contac t with frensh air. therefore,the new energy should be explored to replace the oil so that our envionmental poll ution can be avioded .and the strick law should be issued to keep the numbers of cars unde r control.thus,our heavier traffic can be solluted! 范文2 Private cars vs Public traffic As traffic problems become more and more serious in many cities of developed and developin g countries, their governments have to try hard and loads of money and energy have been spen t to deal with them. Firstly, it is not efficient for the commuters to use their private cars to and back from th eir workplaces. Occasionally we can see they have to sit on the wheels wasting time and fue
剑桥英语10雅思考官范文(大作文+小作文)
剑桥英语10雅思考官范文(大作文+小作文)
剑10 1-2 It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children? One important stage in a child’s growth is certainly the development of a conscience, which is linked to the ability to tell right from wrong. This skill comes with time and good parenting, and my firm conviction is that punishment does not have much of a role to play in this. Therefore I have to disagree almost entirely with the given statement. To some extent the question depends on the age of the child. To punish a very young child is both wrong and foolish, as an infant will not understand what is happening or why he or she is being punished. Once the age of reason is reached however, a child can be rewarded for good behavior and discouraged from bad. This kind but firm approach will achieve more than harsh punishments, which might entail many negative consequences unintended by the parents. To help a child learn the difference between right and wrong, teachers and parents should firstly provide good role modelling in their own behavior. After that, if sanctions are needed, the punishment should not be of a physical nature, as that merely sends the message that it is acceptable for larger people to hit smaller ones-an outcome which may well result in the child starting to bully others. Nor should the punishment be in any way cruel.
two parts(雅思考官Simon最新九分范文)
题目是Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be?Should governments give more financial support to local film industries? 很多人喜欢外国电影胜过本土电影。原因？政府该资助本地电影么？ 考官级范文库：6大题型36篇9分雅思写作范文汇总分享 范文： It is true that foreign films are more popular in many countries than domestically produced films. There could be several reasons why this is the case, and I believe that governments should promote local film-making by subsidising the industry. There are various reasons why many people find foreign films more enjoyable than the films produced in their own countries. Firstly, the established film industries in certain countries have huge budgets for action, special effects and to shoot scenes in spectacular locations. Hollywood blockbusters like ‘Avatar’or the James Bond films are examples of such productions and the global appeal that they have. Another reason why these big-budget films are so successful is that they often star the most famous actors and actresses, and they are made by the most accomplished producers and directors. The poor quality, low-budget filmmaking in many countries suffers in comparison. In my view, governments should support local film industries financially. In every country, there may be talented amateur film-makers who just need to be given the opportunity to prove themselves. To compete with big-budget productions from overseas, these people need money to pay for film crews, actors and a host of other costs related to producing high-quality films. If governments did help with these costs, they would see an increase in employment in the film industry, income from film sales, and perhaps even a rise in tourist numbers. New Zealand, for example, has seen an increase in tourism related to the 'Lord of the Rings' films, which were partly funded by government subsidies. In conclusion, I believe that increased financial support could help to raise the quality of locally made films and allow them to compete with the foreign productions that currently dominate the market. (295 words, band 9) 题目是Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?重复犯罪的原因和解决方法 范文： A large number of criminals who serve their first prison sentence, leave prison only to reoffend. This is mainly because of the lack of rehabilitation and difficulty finding regular employment once released. There are a number of solutions which should be implemented to deal with criminals who reoffend. Firstly, the reason for most first-time offenders committing crimes again, once they have been released from prison, is due to the lack of rehabilitation whilst in prison. In other words, offenders are not given a chance to retrain and learn new skills for their future or develop a deeper understanding of correct moral behaviour and instead mix with other criminals, which only strengthens their criminal intentions. Secondly, repeat offending is also owing to the difficulty in finding employment after being released. As a result, many of them struggle financially which leads them back to crime, regardless of the consequences. There are two effective solutions to the problem of repeat offenders. One way to tackle this is to ensure that all criminals entering prison are given the chance to retrain with useful skills which will hopefully ensure them a job after they have served their sentence. By doing this, it will help them reintegrate back into society and give them some means of supporting themselves financially. Another method of dealing with criminals who reoffend is to have more supervision and checks in place when they are back in society. This solution would hopefully prevent them from taking any chances and deter them from reoffending because they are being so closely watched. In conclusion, having training in prison and also close observation when first time offenders are released are effective in dealing with the issue. If governments implemented these solutions, crime figures would soon drop.