英语中考英语作文范例更新版精彩推荐!!
英语中考英语作文范例更新版（精彩－推荐!!)
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分享有特点的中考英语作文（附得分和老师点评）
2００８年中考英语作文题目：
Writｅat lｅast 60 woｒds aｂout tｈe topic“Loｖｅaｒouｎd mｅ”. (以“我身边的爱”为题写一篇不少于60个词的短文，标点符号不占格）（注意:短文中不得出现考生的姓名、校名以及其他相关信息,否则不予评分)(总分16分)?Uｓe ｔhe fｏlｌowing pｏints asａguide.(短文须包含下列要点）?Is therｅany love ａroｕnd you? (Give ｏne oｒtwo exａmples．)?Ｈow dｏｙou feeｌｗhe ｎyou gｅt ｌove from hiｍ/ hｅｒ/ theｍ??Ｗhat aｒe yｏuｇoiｎg to dｏto show yｏur ｌove??--－－---－--－--－-－－---－－-------以上为背景－---－---------－－-－－--－----------－---－-
下面我将为大家分享在这个题目下的几篇有特点的学生作文,附实际得分和我的点评。?说明：由于是前几年的作文了，这里面的作文在其他网上也能搜到。拿出来分享一个是会加上我的点评，这个是网上搜不到的~另一个也是希望孩子们更明确作文的写法和得高分的要素。
第一篇：
Iｌｉve on a pｌanet which is fulｌｏf lｏｖe. I can ｇｅt lｏｖe form ｍy ｔeacherｓ,friｅnds and my parｅnｔs．Whｅn I get lｏve fｒom theｍ，I fｅel warm and happy．Ｔｈeｙaｒe ｔhｅmost importantｐｅoｐlｅi ｎmy life.I sｈould show mｙlovｅtｏthem. Ｉｗiｌl helｐmｙparentｓｔｏdo some housework if they aｒe ｔireｄ．I will ｈｅlp my frien ｄｓwｈｅn thｅyａｒe iｎtrｏubｌe.Ｉshｏｕld shｏw ｍｙlove ｔｏthe perｓoｎwho givｅs meｌoｖｅ.
实际得分情况：5+6+1=１２
张老师点评:这篇文章其实是相当有文采的。开篇第一句话和最后一句话都正确使用了定语从句,这已经足以为其争取到１分的文采分了。整篇文章除了第一句有点不符合常理(plaｎet不能用fｕll oｆloｖe,应该用wｏrld）和第６句helｐ后面不应该用to之外,其他句子都没有语病,扣１分的语言分也可以理解。但是本文最大的败笔就在于遗漏了一个要点！题目要求对自己周围的love给出1-2个例子,但是本文中没有任何例子，于是被扣了2分的内容分,非常可惜。正所谓“要点不全就是错，妙笔生花又如何？”
第二篇?Love never leａves me．My pａｒｅntｓ, ｔｅaｃｈｅrｓ, clasｓm ａtes aｎｄｓo on give lｏve tｏmｅ. Mｙｍoｔher aｌｗays come to mｙroom anｄclｏse ｔhe ｗｉndｏws whｅn I falｌaｓｌeep oｎｔhe cｏld nｉght. Ｍy classｍateｓand teachｅrｓａｌways givｅmｅa hａｎd ｗhen I have something difｆｉcｕｌt tｏdo. I feelｖｅry ｗａrm aｎd happy when I get lｏve from all tｈeｓe people aｒound me.Ｉwilｌｇive ｍy faｔheｒa cup oｆteａwｈｅｎｈe fｉnish aｌl thｅwｏrks. Ｉwill help my mo ｔhｅr to doｓome hｏuｓeｗｏｒｋ. Love around mｅall ｔhe time.?实际得分情况：7+5+0=12?张老师点评：要点一个不缺,7分到手。全文除了反复使用wheｎ引导的时间状语从句之外,无任何复杂句型,因此文采分为0并不冤枉。我
要说的是被扣掉得２分语言分，不知道大家有没有看出来扣在哪里?先给大家5分钟时间看看吧。?--－----5分钟后---－-----?其实这篇文章扣语言分的主要是2点:
1. 三单。除了第一句之外的２处三单都用错了（找到了吗？）。虽然原则上讲每个语法点错只扣0.５,且重复不计,但是像三单这么基础的语法点，扣１分也不为过。
２. 最后一句缺系动词。也许这位同学是想在最后一句用一个短句子作为有力的结尾,可惜偷鸡不成蚀把米，句子不是想短就能短的。
当然，文中还有oｎthｅcｏlｄnｉght、when Iｆall a slｅｅｐ、fiｎish a ｌl thｅworｋｓ等小一点的语法错误，但是仅仅是前面2个大的语法错误，就足以显示这位同学的功底了。正所谓“要点当然要齐全,语法岂止为单选？”
第三篇：?Theｒe is muchｌoｖe aｒouｎd me. Ｅspｅcialｌｙmy ｐarents, tｅaｃherｓ，frｉends ｅｖen somｅｓtｒangeｒs. Tｈe lｏｖｅｎeeds oｕr heaｒｔtｏfｅel.Paｒeｎtｓ’love ｉｓlｉke rｉvｅｒ,sil ｅnt aｎd wａｒm.When I’m in tｒoubｌe, ｔhey encourage me in sileｎｔworｄs．Frｉenｄｓ'love is ｌike fiｒe，ｆull ｏf energy. Ｉt ｍakes me moreｃｏｎfiｄent. Ａｎd I also show my loｖe in actｉon tｏｃare oｔhers. Love is ｔeaｃhｉnｇme tｏｌove.
实际得分:7+5+2=14
张老师点评：这是一篇让人爱恨交织的文章。按照0８年以前的评分标准，原则上讲,内容和语言在１2分及其以下者，是不能给２分的文采分的。但是这篇文章的几个句子，着实让人觉得爱不释手。例如Ｐarenｔｓ’lｏve ｉs like rivｅr, ｓilent anｄｗarm. 再例如Ｌoｖｅis ｔeachiｎｇme to lｏve. 这样的句子虽然并不复杂，但是读起来却像诗句一样。我想这也是为什么判卷的老师在文章中有明显错误的情况下（找到错误在什么地方了吗？）,还给出2分的文采分。所以我想告诉同学们的是，文采分并不是神话,只要有意识地去准备一些结构，并在文章中合理使用，文采分是可以有计划地去获取的。正所谓:“微瑕不掩白璧，有心可算无心。”孩子们,加油!
第四篇：
Theｒｅiｓsomｅlｏve aroｕnd me. Amｏｎg all ｔhe pｅople,Ｉthink my pareｎtｓlove me best.I sｔuｄy sｏhａrd ｔｈat I doｎ't gｏｔo bed unｔil mid-niｇhｔ. Howeveｒ, ｍy parｅnts wiｌｌａlwaｙｓturn oｆf their ligｈtａfｔｅr I do. Wｈile I am wriｔing thiｓpａｓｓage，ｍｙpａreｎｔsａｒe sｔanｄingａt tｈe
school gａte.I dｅcｉdｅtｏbｕy soｍｅfloweｒs fｏr tｈem to sｈow mｙlovｅthiｓaｆtｅrnoon.
?实际得分：６+６+1=13
张老师点评:从语言上看,这篇文章属于“不求有功,但求无过”的类型，第三句话对于so…tｈat…句型和ｕｎｔｉl一词的结合甚至还显示出相当的功底,这也解释了为什么它会获得1分的文采分。但是本文我想要给大家分享的是内容分。这篇文章被扣掉了１分的内容分,同学们能找出来它被扣在了哪里吗？也就是说这篇文章少了什么要点吗?给大家5分钟的时间试一试。
－--－-----
?
?
????
－--５ｍiｎ后--?找出来了吗?其实，这篇文章缺少的要点还是挺明显的:How dｏyou feel whｅn you get love from him/ hｅr/tｈem?这个要点可能只是一个形容词,复杂一点也就一个句子而已。但就是少了这一小部分,就被扣掉了1分内容分。要点是最容易得分也最容易扣分的部分,一旦扣分,就会让学生痛不欲生。迄今为止我已经点评了3篇关于要点的文章，就是希望同学们一定要保持警醒啊!正所谓：“题目字字是珠玑,逐条对应莫大意。”
第五篇：
I＇ve ｂeen suｒｒｏundeｄｂy ｌove ｆroｍｍy ｆａｍily ｓince
I waｓborn.Foｒexample, ｍｙgrandｍa oftｅn stays in the ｋｉtcｈen alｌday loｎg,coｏｋｉng foods whicｈarｅhealthｙanｄｄelｉcｉous ｆor mｅ. My fatｈer isn'ｔgooｄat expresｓi ｎｇhis emoｔiｏns，but ｍy ｍｏｍsａid thaｔｈｅalways k ｉssed ｍe gｏod-ｎighｔｗithｏuｔleｔtｉngｍe kｎｏw ａt nｉｇｈt. I didn't ｋnow tｈat at all bｅｃauｓe I wａs slｅeｐing!
I feｅl happｙｗhen I geｔsweｅt ｌovｅfrｏm mｙｆaｍily. Ｍy faｍｉlｙmeｍｂeｒs ａre tｈｅonly peopｌeｗｈo areｗillｉng to sacriｆice for ｙou foｒnothing in tｈｉs wｏrld! Oｆcourse Ｉlove tｈｅm too,and I'm ｇoinｇto show mｙlove bｙcariｎｇfoｒthem ａs much as I can. Ｉ＇lｌwasｈbowlｓａｆｔｅr me ａls，chａt wｉtｈｔhem aｎｄｍake ｔhem lａuｇh. Studyｉng h ａrd ａｎd ｍake thｅm plｅａsed with me iｓalso a ｇood wａy ｔo shoｗmy love. I ｗｉll cｈerish the ｌovｅaｒounｄｍe fｏrever！
实际得分:满分
张老师点评：这篇文章亮点太多,只能在原文上批注.请看下图:
又有家长呼吁上点学生习作,于是来一篇之前我的学生LYQ写的作文。Nowａdａyｓ,thｅlunch iｎｓｃhooｌｉs ｎot as populａr as it usｅd to．Somｅsｔudｅntｓdon’t like it so theｙgo out of thｅschool in orｄｅｒto eat ｔhe fｏod tｈey prｅfer. Hｏweｖｅr，not all deｌiｃｉoｕs fooｄiｓgood foｒthｅir heaｌth.?I would likｅｔo preｓeｎt mｙideａs asｆｏllｏws．Ｔhere is no denyin
ｇthat stuｄeｎｔs oｕght ｔo ｆｏｌlｏw the ｓchoｏl rules to hａve lunｃｈat schｏol,ｗｈｉcｈｃan not only keeｐtｈeｍselveｓhｅalthier but also mａkeｉt eａｓiｅｒｆor the tｅachｅrｓto ｍanａge ｔhe studｅｎts. But on ｔhe other hａnd, it is ｔhｅresｐｏnsibilitｙｏf the schools to ｉmpｒove tｈe qｕaliｔｉeｓof their diｓhｅs．Oｎｌｙiｎthis ｗaｙcａn they aｔtract moｒｅstudents to hａve luｎch aｔschoｏｌ.
实际得分:17分。
张老师点评:
这是我以前一个学生的习作，当时的题目如下：
现在，有很多同学选择在学校外面吃午饭。这样做是否正确？你的建议是什么？请写一篇不少于60字的文章。
关于文章的批改请见下图：
老实讲,其实这篇文章是可以得满分的，但是由于是习作,我强行扣掉了１分。这篇文章从文采来讲，当然是很好的,但是其实其中很多句型，在
很多文章中都可以通用，只要提前熟悉，要写出来其实并不困难。例如文章中出现的”Ｉwｏulｄlike tｏｐｒesｅｎt my ideａｓas foll ｏｗs．” “Ｔherｅｉsｎo denying ｔha t…”“oｎly in ｔhｉs way + 倒装句”等等,都是我们平时操练过的。所以很多事情你看起来很困难,但是对于有准备的人来说也是比较轻松的。正如贾岛诗言:“二句三年得,一吟双泪流。”
在国庆节的中考作文秘诀班上，我亲自给同学们写了08－11年的四篇范文，在这里分享其中11年的范文,以飨读者~?作文题目请见:
Wriｔe at leａｓt 60ｗords ａｂout ｔhｅｔｏpｉｃ“I?m a member of ”?学习改变命运*思考成就未来Ｐage 2３ｏf 2４中考-写作秘诀班教师版
(以“我是…的一员”为题写一篇不少于6０个词的短文, 标点符号不占格子)
提示：你可以作为任意兴趣小组或者社团的一员，或者作为家庭,班级，社区的一员,写出你的经历，感受等。?Use ｔhe folloｗinｇpoints as ａreference．（以下问题和图片仅供参考)
1. Ａｒｅｙou glａd to ｂｅa membｅr of…?
2. What do you ｄｏｉn iｔ？
3. How do yoｕｆeｅl ａｓsｕch a membｅr? ?
我给的范文和批注请见下图?
中考英语30篇英语满分作文范文
第一篇： 【写作要求】 现在我们周围的环境污染越来越严重。作为一个中学生，我们应节约资源，保护环境，从我们身边的小事做起，做一个“低碳生活”的中学生。请以“My Low--carbon Life”为题，写一篇短文描述自己的“低碳生活”。 内容包括： 1.地球的污染越来越严重，我们能看到森林被砍伐、水污染和空气污染。 2.你是怎样从身边小事做起，做到“低碳生活”的。如：每天步行上学、离开教室及时关灯和电扇、充分利用纸张、节约用水等。 3.号召更多的人加入到“低碳生活”中来。 作文要求： 1.不能照抄原文；不得在作文中出现学校真实的名称和学生的真实姓名。 2.语句连贯，词数80个左右。作文的题目已经给出，不计入总词数。 My Low--carbon Life The environmental pollution is worse and worse today. 【优秀满分范文】 My Low-carbon Life The environmental pollution is worse and worse today. Many trees are cut down, and water and air are polluted. As a student I try to have a low-carbon life to save energy and reduce pollution. Firstly, I often walk to school. It can reduce air pollution. Secondly, I always turn off the lights and fans when leaving the classroom. Thirdly, I always make full use of paper and other school things and never waste water. I wish more students to join me and make the earth more and more beautiful. 第二篇： 【写作要求】 每当朋友之间即将分手的时候，耳边常常会响起这首歌“朋友啊朋友！你可曾想起了我，如果你正享受幸福，请你忘记我……”。请你以Friends为题，写一篇90词左右的短文，可以围绕主题适当展开，阐述交友的重要性和好处。 【优秀满分范文】
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