幽默英语小段子R
【第一条】
Examination and many children, so that the number of honest learned cheating.
考试害了多少个孩子，让多少诚实的孩子学会了作弊。
【第二条】
For beautiful eyes, on the line, and told myself, my wife than they were.
对于美女，看两眼就行，转身告诉自己，我老婆比她们都好。
【第三条】
Did you find, those who hate you, looks very ugly.
你有没有发现，那些讨厌你的人，长得都特别丑。
【第四条】
Since I will play QQ, I found my pinyin is getting better and better, the study did not have this effect.
自从会玩QQ后，我发现我拼音越来越好了，读书都没这效果。
【第五条】
I have a flirt with hot chicks ability, but he is a girl.
我空有一身泡妞的本事，可惜自己是个妞。
【第六条】
I do not smoke cigarettes, is not lonely, second-hand smoke!
我抽的不是烟，也不是寂寞，是二手烟！
【第七条】
Examination of people rely on strength, and I rely on the rich imagination.
考试有人靠的是实力，而我靠的是丰富的想象力。
【第八条】
Abroad: Thought and ability is the key, the domestic: relationship and can run. 国外：思想和才能才是王道，国内：关系和马屁才能横行。
【第九条】
The teacher said to hear and fine, I know he's salary.
听到老师说又要开始罚钱，我就知道是他工资花完了。
【第十条】
The man called the romantic love rich, rich in the coquettish woman.
男人情史丰富那叫风流，女人情史丰富那叫风骚。
【第十一条】
One, two people, three person is to fight at outrance.
一个人快活，两个人生活，三个人就是你死我活。
【第十二条】
Grandpa Mao said, not to marry for the purpose of making object is bullying. 毛爷爷说，不以结婚为目的的搞对象都是耍流氓。
【第十三条】
Brother, you have to face the resolution is good?
大哥，把你脸上的分辨率调低点好吗？
【第十四条】
In heaven there is no white out the pie, but white out the bricks.
天上没有白掉的馅饼，倒有白掉的砖头。
【第十五条】
Ideals are like the pants, have, but not everyone can go to prove that you have! 理想就像内裤，要有，但不能逢人就去证明你有！
【第十六条】
More to their fucking great time also can not compare with idiot years.
再多各自牛逼的时光也比不上一起傻逼的岁月。
【第十七条】
Thinking of how far, how far you roll; light how fast, how fast you roll.
思想有多远，你就滚多远；光速有多快，你就滚多快。
【第十八条】
Chinese two big characteristics: one, don't love the truth; two, do not want to hear the truth.
中国人就两大特点：一，不爱说实话；二，不爱听实话。
【第十九条】
You look very Chinese, very dedicated, very backbone.
你长的很爱国，很敬业，很有骨气。
【第二十条】
Germany is the only woman, I think I must be too mean.
女子无才便是德，我想我一定是太缺德了。
大学英语三分钟演讲稿(共7篇)
篇一：大学英语演讲稿3分钟 大学英语演讲稿3分钟 when i was seven, i started learning english. i played games and sang english songs with other children. sometimes, i watched english cartoons. its funny. then i discovered the beauty of the language, and began my colorful dream in the english world. i hope i can travel around the world someday. i want to go to america to visit washington, because my cousin is over there. of course, i want to go to london too, because england is where english language developed. if i can ride my bike in cambridge university, i will be very happy. i hope i can speak english with everyone in the world. also ill introduce china to them, such as the great wall, and the gardens in suzhou. i will teaching people of the world about the beautiful language of our country. i like the english language. to learn english is wonderful. i my future is not a dream. 篇二：大学英语演讲稿3分钟 大学英语演讲稿3分钟 when i was seven, i started learning english. i played games and sang english songs with other children. sometimes, i watched english cartoons. its funny. then i discovered the beauty of the language, and began my colorful dream in the english world. i hope i can travel around the world someday. i want to go to america to visit washington, because my cousin is over there. of course, i want to go to london too, because england is where english language developed. if i can ride my bike in cambridge university, i will be very happy. i hope i can speak english with everyone in the world. also ill introduce china to them, such as the great wall, and the gardens in suzhou. i will teaching people of the world about the beautiful language of our country. i like the english language. to learn english is wonderful. i my future is not a dream. 篇三：3分钟英语演讲稿带翻译3篇 my chinese dream 我的中国梦 i am very glad to stand here to give thier a short speech.today my topic is that the youth are the future of motherland 很高兴站在这里做这篇短小的演讲，我演讲的主题是青年是祖国的未来。 在准备英语演讲比赛的时候，我本想简单地从网上搜索一些文章作为我演讲的内容。我看过很多文章，有著名主持人的、北大教授的、大学生的，也有初中生的。但是看完之后，我放弃了当初的想法，我甚至为当初的想法感到有一些羞愧。因为今天我站在这里向大家演讲的主题，是一个庄重而严肃的主题；是一个充满荣耀与自豪的主题；是每一个中华儿女共同期盼的主题。每个人都有属于他们自己的中国梦，而我，当然也有一直萦绕在心怀只属于我的中国梦。 so what?s my chinese dream ? finally i will announce. we had learned a lot of knowledge and understood a lot of truth in the book. we
英语演讲稿幽默3分钟
英语演讲稿幽默3分钟 下面是小编为大家整理的英语演讲稿幽默3分钟，仅供大家进行参考。 范文【一】 Someone said we are reading the first verse of the first chapter of a book, whose pages are infinite. I dont know who wrote these words, but Ive always liked them as a reminder that the future can be anything we want it to be. We are all in the position of the farmers. If we plant a good seed ,we reap a good harvest. If we plant nothing at all, we harvest nothing at all. We are young. How to spend the youth? It is a meaningful question. To answer it, first I have to ask what do you understand by the word youth? Youth is not a time of life, its a state of mind. Its not a matter of rosy cheeks, red lips or supple knees. Its the matter
of the will. Its the freshness of the deep spring of life. A poet said To see a world in a grain of sand, and a heaven in a wild flower, hold infinity in the palm of your hand, and eternity in an hour. Several days ago, I had a chance to listen to a lecture. I learnt a lot there. Id like to share it with all of you. Lets show our right palms. We can see three lines that show how our love.career and life is. I have a short line of life. What about yours? I wondered whether we could see our future in this way. Well, lets make a fist. Where is our future? Where is our love, career, and life? Tell me.Yeah, it is in our hands. It is held in ourselves. We all want the future to be better than the past. But the future can go better itself. Dont cry because it is over, smile because it happened. From the past, weve learnt that the life is tough, but we are tougher. Weve learnt that we cant choose how we feel, but we can choose what about it. Failure doesnt mean you dont have it,
英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译)
英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译) 线话英语|2016-03-14 17:03:05 英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译)如下： Midway Tactics Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue. The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!" The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE". 中间战术 三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。 右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!” 左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!” 中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。 Very Pleased to Meet You During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers. One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I’m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months. Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England. Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys." "Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.
大学生英语演讲稿三分钟
大学生英语演讲稿三分钟 say growing up in rich family promotes children's personality and character. Some think otherwise. What's your opinion Why Well, it's quite a question argued by people all the time. I think a person's personality has little relation to his family economic level. It's monly said that a child in rich family will has more chances and better choice for his study. However, if the kid himself isn't aware of this, that is all in vain. It's not unusual that many children from rich family are quite rude and conceited although they are always receive the best education. Then, how about the poor family's children There is another saying that adversity cultivates heroes. To be honest, I disagree with it too. Poor children should learn harder and catch every chance to strengthen themselves. However, the reality is often not like that. Subjectively speaking, poor children are easy to feel inferior and thus can't study well. Even if they study well, they hardly do well in practicing ability. Objectively speaking, poor
对话形式的英语小笑话-英语小笑话 非常短
对话形式的英语小笑话|英语小笑话非常短 在交际场合,能恰到好处地讲个笑话或自创一个幽默,不仅可以体现自己的语言水平,还可以提升个人魅力。小编整理了对话形式的英语小笑话，欢迎阅读! 对话形式的英语小笑话篇一 He is really somebody! ” My uncle has 1000 men under him.” ”He is really somebody. What does he do?” ”A maintenance man in a cemetery. “ 他真是一个大人物! 我叔叔下面有1000个人。 他真是一个大人物。干什么的? 墓地守墓人。 对话形式的英语小笑话篇二 A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, “Attention,passengers. We have lost one o f our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the threewe have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a result.”
Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain's voice again, “Guess what, folks. We justlost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive inLondon three hours late.” At this point, one passenger became furious. “For Pete's sake,” he shouted, “If we lose anotherengine, we'll be up here all night!” 一架747客机正在跨越大西洋时，喇叭里传来了机长的声音：旅客们请注意，我们的四个引擎中有一个丢失了。但剩下的三个引擎会把我们带到伦敦的。只是我们要因此晚到一小时。 过了一会儿，旅客们又听到机长的声音：各位，你们猜怎么啦?我们刚又掉了第三个引擎。但请你们相信好了。只有一个引擎我们也能飞，但要晚三个小时了。 正在这时，一位乘客非常气愤地说：看在上帝的份上，如果我们再掉一个引擎，我们就要整夜都要呆在天上了。 对话形式的英语小笑话篇三 A ne wspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: “If a fire broke out inthe Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?” 一份报纸组织了一场竞赛，为下面的问题征集最佳答案：如果卢浮宫起了火，而你只能救出一幅画，你将救出哪一幅? The winning repl y was: “The one nearest the exit.” 获奖的答案是：最接近门口的那一幅。 看了对话形式的英语小笑话的人还看了：
3分钟英语演讲短文
3分钟英语演讲短文 3分钟英语演讲短文 3分钟英语演讲短文我认为我认为我认为 Fox and ok One morning a fox sees a ok.He think,"This is m breakfast.'' He es up to the ok and sas,"I kno ou an sing ver ell.Can ou sing for me?''The ok is glad.He loses his ees and begins to sing.The fox sees that and ahes him in his mouth and arries him XX. The people in the field see the fox.The r,"Look,look!The fox is arring the ok XX.''The ok sas to the fox,"Mr Fox,do ou understand?The people sa ou are arring their ok XX.Tell them it is ours.Not theirs.'' The fox opens his mouth ang sas,"The ok is mine,not ours.''Just then the ok runs XX from the fox and flies into the tree. 狐狸和公鸡一天 早上，一只狐狸看到了一只公鸡。他想：这是我的早餐。他朝公鸡走来，对他说：“我知道，你能唱得非常好听，你能唱给我听么?”公鸡 很高兴。他闭上眼睛开始唱歌。狐狸看到这些抓住它放到自己的嘴里 走了。在田地里的人们看到了狐狸。大喊大叫：“看，看!狐狸抓住 公鸡逃走了。”公鸡对狐狸说：“狐狸先生，你能理解么?人们认为你 叼走了公鸡。告诉他们这是你的，不是他们的。” 狐狸张开她的嘴 说：“公鸡是我的，不是你们的。”就在那时，。公鸡跑到了树底 下。 Ladies and Gentlemen , Good afternoon! I’m ver glad to stand here and give ou a short speeh. toda m topi is “Life”.
少儿英语小故事带翻译
少儿英语小故事带翻译 故事一般都和原始人类的生产生活有密切关系，他们迫切地希望认识自然，于是便以自身为依据，想象天地万物都和人一样，有着生命和意志。以下是为您整理的《少儿英语小故事带翻译》，希望大家能够喜欢。 少儿英语小故事带翻译篇一 The Ugly Duckling IT was lovely summer weather in the country, and the golden corn, the green oats, and the haystacks piled up in the meadows looked beautiful. The stork walking about on his long red legs chattered in the Egyptian language, which he had learnt from his mother. The corn-fields and meadows were surrounded by large forests, in the midst of which were deep pools. It was, indeed, delightful to walk about in the country. In a sunny spot stood a pleasant old farm-house close by a deep river, and from the house down to the water side grew great burdock leaves, so high, that under the tallest of them a little child could stand upright. The spot was as wild as the centre of a thick wood. In this snug retreat sat a duck on her nest, watching for her young brood to hatch; she was beginning to get tired of her task, for the little ones were a long time coming out of their shells, and she seldom had any visitors. The other ducks liked much better to swim about in the river than to climb the slippery banks, and sit under a burdock leaf, to have a gossip with her. At length one shell cracked, and then another, and from each egg came a living creature that lifted its head and cried, “;Peep, peep.”; “;Quack, quack,”; said the mother, and then they all quacked as well as they could, and looked about them on every side at the large green leaves. Their mother allowed them to look as much as they liked, because green is good for the eyes. “;How large the world is,”; said the young ducks, when
大学三分钟英语演讲稿
---------------------------------------------------------------范文最新推荐------------------------------------------------------ 大学三分钟英语演讲稿 大学三分钟英语演讲稿（一） Good afternoon ，ladies and gentlemen！ I’m very honored to stand here and give you a short speech! To begin with ,I want to ask a question .Does everybody dream a good dream last night? Actually ,today I want to talk about dream with you. Of course, What I want to talk is not a dream you have last night,but a dream—— about life. Everyone has dreams about life, different dreams at different life stage,and we need dreams to support us. Dreams are like the stars we never reach in the sky,but like most mariners （水手）,we can chart our course by them. With the dream,we have a direction,with a direction, we were no longer confused.With the dream, there is hope,With hope, we have the strength to fight. But I know，life is tough,and there are always ups and downs, maybe we fail in the way to our aims,and we may feel depressed ,whenever at this time, the dream in our heart can always comfort us, encourage us ,and support us to move ahead. Young!Fortunately, I am young now. Just due to it, I know that 1 / 17
英语课前三分钟演讲稿幽默.doc
英语课前三分钟演讲稿幽默 英语课前三分钟演讲稿幽默一 Why does football get people into a frenzy? Who is your idol? It may be Napoleon, Picasso, or Michael Jackson. But who is my idol? Can you guess? It is Ronaldo. He is the No. 1 super star of football. Football is a game in which 22 people chase one ball around a large field. The aim of the game is to get the ball into the net to score. After all, it’s such an easy game, and yet people go crazy mad over it. The answer lies in two facts. One is the game itself. Sometimes it is beyond any description. Football is a game of passes and techniques, passion and love, more importantly, unity is the key---the whole team working as one, united they will never be defeated. The European’s style. of play is like a Waltz, the Brazilian like a Samba, and the passionate Argentineans play as if they are doing a Tango. Football is so unpredictable, so unbelievable. You will never know who will win until the last minute. Especially when suddenly there is a goal, the
大学英语演讲稿3分钟3篇
大学英语演讲稿3分钟3篇 3分钟大学英语演讲稿篇一 when i was seven, i started learning english. i played games and sang english songs with other children. sometimes, i watched english cartoons. its funny. then i discovered the beauty of the language, and began my colorful dream in the english world. i hope i can travel around the world someday. i want to go to america to visit washington, because my cousin is over there. of course, i want to go to london too, because england is where english language developed. if i can ride my bike in cambridge university, i will be very happy. i hope i can speak english with everyone in the world. also ill introduce china to them, such as the great wall, and the gardens in suzhou. i will teaching people of the world about the beautiful language of our country. i like the english language. to learn english is wonderful. i once wanted to be an english teacher . i also like chinese literature. when i was really young, i was able to remember lots of poems. i also wanted to be a teacher of chinese. now i think that both of my
英语幽默小对话
英语幽默小对话 1： One girl went to the preacher and confessed her sin. Girl: Father, I have sinned. Preacher: What did you do, little girl Girl: Yesterday, I called a man a son of a Bitch. Preacher: Why What did he do to you Girl: He touched my breast. Preacher: You mean like this (The guy did it.) Girl: (A little shy from the touch) Yes. Preacher: Thats no reason to call him that. Girl: But he also took off my cloth. Preacher: You mean like this (He did it again.) Girl: Yes, thats what he did. Preacher: Thats still no reason to call him that. Girl: And he put his you-know-what into my you-know-what... Preacher: (evil laugh...) You mean like this (And you-know-what) Girl: (After a few minutes...) Ugh... Yeah, thats what he did...
三分钟经典英语演讲稿
三分钟经典英语演讲稿 外语教学的不断改进，各类英语演讲活动愈来愈频繁，为 此，WTT小雅整理了3分钟左右的英语演讲稿，供大家学习和参考! 三分钟经典英语演讲稿篇一 Good morning,ladies and gentlemen,today i am so happy to stand here to give you a speech.Or rather, a real story of mine. Though with time going by,i can still remember what you once told me.You should be a brave girl.Smiling,you looked into my eyes.Year in,year out,nearly most of my memories are fading little by little.But only this simple sentence remained,without being forgotten in my life. Again and again,i can not stop myself from thinking about it.So ordinary,but so impressive,so moving,just like the brightest sunshine,it helps me go through the darkest night.I am such a sensitive girl in your heart.You said,my sorroful facial expression made feel so distersssed.However,there is one thing i never tell you,that is ,i am becoming a big girl gradually with your words and smiles.I never tell you about it,for i believe oneday,you can see the great changes of mine for
英语小故事,带翻译
英语小故事,带翻译.txt你不能让所有人满意，因为不是所有的人都是人成功人士是—在牛B 的路上，一路勃起你以为我会眼睁睁看着你去送死吗？我会闭上眼睛的中秋节来历（英文版）The joyous Mid-Autumn Festival was celebrated on the fifteenth day of the eighth moon, around the time of the autumn equinox(秋分). Many referred to it simply as the "Fifteenth of the Eighth Moon". 农历8月15日是中国的中秋节，接近秋分时节。很多人将中秋节简单的理解为与“8月15的月亮”相关。 This day was also considered as a harvest festival since fruits, vegetables and grain had been harvested by this time and food was abundant. Food offerings were placed on an altar set up in the courtyard. Apples, pears, peaches, grapes, pomegranates(石榴), melons, oranges and pomelos(柚子) might be seen. Special foods for the festival included moon cakes, cooked taro(芋头)and water caltrope(菱角), a type of water chestnut resembling black buffalo horns. Some people insisted that cooked taro be included because at the time of creation, taro was the first food discovered at night in the moonlight. Of all these foods, it could not be omitted from the Mid-Autumn Festival. The round moon cakes, measuring about three inches in diameter and one and a half inches in thickness, resembled Western fruitcakes in taste and consistency. These cakes were made with melon seeds(西瓜子), lotus seeds(莲籽), almonds(杏仁), minced meats, bean paste, orange peels and lard(猪油). A golden yolk(蛋黄) from a salted duck egg was placed at the center of each cake, and the golden brown crust was decorated with symbols of the festival. Traditionally, thirteen moon cakes were piled in a pyramid to symbolize the thirteen moons of a "complete year," that is, twelve moons plus one intercalary(闰月的) moon. uUlsda E The Mid-Autumn Festival is a traditional festivity for both the Han and minority nationalities. The custom of worshipping the moon can be traced back as far as the ancient Xia and Shang Dynasties (2000 B.C.-1066 B.C.). In the Zhou Dynasty(1066 B.C.-221 B.C.), people hold ceremonies to greet winter and worship the moon whenever the Mid-Autumn Festival sets in. It becomes very prevalent in the Tang Dynasty(618-907 A.D.) that people enjoy and worship the full moon. In the Southern Song Dynasty (1127-1279 A.D.), however, people send round moon cakes to their relatives as gifts in expression of their best wishes of family reunion. When it becomes dark, they look up at the full silver moon or go sightseeing on lakes to celebrate the festival. Since the Ming (1368-1644 A.D. ) and Qing Dynasties (1644-1911A.D.), the custom of Mid-Autumn Festival celebration becomes unprecedented popular. Together with the celebration there appear some special customs in different parts of the country, such as burning incense(熏香), planting Mid-Autumn trees, lighting lanterns on towers and fire dragon dances. However, the custom of playing under the moon is not so popular as it used to be nowadays, but it is not less popular to enjoy the bright silver moon. Whenever the festival sets in, people will look up at the full silver moon, drinking wine to celebrate their happy life or thinking of their relatives and friends far from home, and extending all of their best wishes to them. Moon Cakes月饼