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2004年高考上海卷满分作文-非典型忙碌
2004年高考上海卷满分作文-非典型忙碌

2004年高考上海卷满分作文-非典型忙碌小李头脑精明,遇啥事都喜欢拨拨心头的金算盘,看看能否从中赚点零花钱。可整日如此小打小闹,小李觉得太没出息了。这不,他一边看着新闻,一边在沙发上又打起了金算盘。

又是非典!正冥思苦想不得出路的小李被新闻吵得闹火,腾地一下子起来关了电视。可坐回沙发后,长期精打细算养成的第六感觉又让小李坐卧不安,总觉得没抓住什么。

这时,女友小凤拿着一袋板兰根开门进来了。

“小李,最近非典传播情况严重,医院来了好多病人,确诊是非典的就有两个,我决定最近呆在医院。这是医院发的板兰根,记住要按时喝。出门要戴上口罩,可记住了!”

一句也没答理小凤。小凤气得马上回医院去了。

小李不愧为一个精明人。一包板兰根就让他大受启发。第二天,他就忙开了。

他先是调查了一下非典传播最严重的几个地方,列出了四大“财区”:北京、内蒙古、山西、广东。继而买进一大批白醋、板兰根,急急飞至内蒙古。要说蒙古人就是豪爽,小李没过几天就发了一笔横财。想到北京消费水平之高,小李更是偷着乐。却不想,天子脚下,百姓人人觉悟很高,小李却落得个铩羽而归。咬咬牙,小李决定杀向广州,再赌一把。由于他头脑活络,专挑小乡村出手板兰根等药物,居然让那些村民心甘情愿地掏钱给他,甚至于疯狂地抢购。

一连几天,小李马不停蹄地奔波于四大“财区”。好几次,小凤给他打电话都没时间接。小李说:“全国闹非典,忙啊!”

医院已连续几天收到非典疑似病人了。

小凤也已好几天没好好地休息了。那双原本水灵灵的眼睛熬得通红,似乎还夹杂着几缕血丝,眼圈黑乎乎的。头发也略显凌乱,大概好几天没仔细打理了吧。

“小凤,快!又有病人送进来了!”

话音未落,刚眯上眼、靠着椅背想休息一下的小凤便像弹簧般跳了起来,向医务室冲去。这一幕已不知上演多少遍了,小凤对此也习惯了。

现在让她最感不安的是:打给小李的电话总没人接。其实她只想跟小李说一句:“对不起!非典闹得厉害,最近不能陪你,忙啊!”

名师点评

这篇考场佳作在构思上颇具匠心。第一部分总写小李与小凤之“忙”,第二部分分写小李之“忙”,第三部分分写小凤之“忙”,文末以一个“忙”字收束全篇,有余音袅袅之韵。

材料选择上也有特色。作者抓住非典这一突如其来的、最能展现人物精神风貌的典型事件,运用概叙与描写相结合、正面描写与侧面描写相结合的手法,浓墨重彩地写出了小李与小凤截然不同的两个形象,人物个性鲜明,呼之欲出。

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