英语短文笑话(带翻译)

1、How much English can you speak?

"Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English."

The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?"

The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"

中文翻译

"法官先生，我的当事人被指控偷窃，这是多么不公正啊。他一周前才来到纽约，几乎不认路。而且，他只会说几个英语单词。"

法官看了看被告，问道："你会说多少英文？"

被告抬起头，说："把你的钱包给我！"

A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use on average only 15000 words a day, whereas women use 30000 words a day. She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.

He said, "What?"

丈夫给妻子看了一项调查结果，为了向她证明女人比男人啰嗦。研究表明男人平均每天使用15000个字，而女人每天使用30000个。

妻子想了一会儿说，女人每天说的字数是男人的两倍，因为她们必须重复已经说过的话。他问："什么？"

Boy: Is this seat empty?

Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

男孩：这个座位是空的么？

女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。

4、

"Tom, what's the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen. "He's crying." "Oh, nothing, Mum," replied Tom. "I'm eating my cake. He is crying because I won't give him any."

"But has he finished his own cake?"

"Yes." said Tom. "And he also cried when I was helping him finish that."

"汤姆，你弟弟怎么了？" 妈妈在厨房里问。"他在哭。"

"没事儿，妈妈，" 汤姆答道。"我在吃我的蛋糕。他哭是因为我不给他吃。"

"他已经吃完自己的了么？"

"是的。" "我帮他吃完时，他也哭了。"

2009-6-7

A guy says to his friend, "Guess how many coins I have in my pocket."

The friends says, "If I guess right, will you give me one of them?"

The first guys says, "If you guess right, I'll give you both of them!"

路人甲对路人乙说，"猜猜我兜里有几个子儿？"

路人乙说："我猜对了，你能给我一个不？"

路人甲说："你要猜对了，我两个全部给你！"

2009-6-6研究生和本科生的区别

"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," said an instructor at a university graduate engineering course. "When I say 'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond 'Good afternoon.' But the graduate students just write it down."

一个教师在研究生工程学课堂上说："我一眼就能看出来哪些是本科生，哪些是研究生。" "我说'下午好'的时候，本科生回答'下午好'，而研究生则把这句话记在本子上。"

2009-6-5

Dad: Tom, please tell me, which month has 28 days?

Tom: Every month.

爸爸：告诉我汤姆，哪个月有28天呢？

汤姆：每个月都有啊！

2009-6-4making faces

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, "Bobby, when I was a child I was told if I made ugly faces, my face would freeze and stay like that". Bobby looked up and replied, "Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."

史密斯小姐发现她的一名学生在操场上向别人做鬼脸，便去轻责他。

这位主日学校的老师甜甜地微笑着，说："博比，我小的时候，有人告诉我如果我做鬼脸，我的脸就会僵硬，永远都那么丑。"

博比抬头看了看老师，说："史密斯小姐，你可别说没人警告过你啊。"

2009-6-3

A guy goes to visit his grandma and he brings his friend with him.

While he's talking to his grandma, his friend starts eating the peanuts on the coffee table, and finishes them off.

As they're leaving, his friend says to his grandma, "Thanks for the peanuts."

She says, "Yeah, since I lost my dentures I can only suck the chocolate off."

一名男子带着朋友去探望他的祖母。

当他和祖母聊天时，他的朋友开始吃咖啡桌上放的花生，并把花生都给吃光了。

他们离开时，他的朋友对祖母说:"谢谢您的花生。"

结果祖母说:"唉！自从我牙齿掉光后，我就只能吮掉花生豆外层的巧克力了。"

2009-6-2

A father was trying to teach his son the evils of alcohol.

He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whiskey. The worm in the water lived, while the one in the whiskey curled up and died.

"All right, son," asked the father, "What does that show you?"

"Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you will not have worms."

一位父亲打算让自己的儿子知道酒精有多么可怕。

他把分别把两只虫子放到一杯清水和一杯威士忌里做对比。清水里虫子安然无恙，结果威士忌里的虫子蜷缩了几下就挂掉了。

"所以，儿子啊，"父亲问道，"得出什么结论？"

"恩，这说明，你只要喝酒的话，肚里就不会长虫了！"

2009-6-1

Looking very unhappy, a poor man entered a doctor's consulting-room.

"Doctor," he said, "you must help me. I swallowed a penny about a month ago."

"Good heavens, man!" said the doctor. "Why have you waited so long? Why don't you come to me on the day you swallowed it?"

"To tell you the truth, Doctor," the poor man replied, "I didn't need the money so badly then."

中文翻译：

一个看起来很难受的穷人走进大夫的诊室。

"大夫！"他说，"帮帮我！一个月前我吞了一分硬币！"

"天哪，"大夫说，"早干嘛去了？你当时怎么不来看？"

"实话告诉您吧，大夫，"穷人说，"我当时还不缺钱！"

2009-5-31

Boy: Hi, didn't we go on dates before? Onec or twice?

Girl: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

男孩：嗨，我们之前是不是约会过，是一次还是两次，我忘记了。

女孩：应该只有一次吧，我从不犯两次同样的错误。

2009-5-30

In an entrance examination of a conservatory of music, a teacher asked one of the boys, "What is the most important physiological quality of a musician?"

"To be deaf," replied the boy.

"Nonsense!" said the teacher angrily.

"Why, sir! Don't you know that the famous musician Beethoven was deaf?" the boy asked in reply disdainfully.

在一次音乐学院的入学考试中，老师问其中一个男孩："音乐家最重要的生理素质是什么？" "耳聋，"男孩答道。

"胡说！"老师气愤地说。

"怎么了，先生！难道您不知道大名鼎鼎的音乐家贝多芬是个聋子吗？"男孩轻蔑地反问道。

2009-5-28

A man sat at a bar, had the saddest hangdog expression.

Bartender: "What's the matter? Are you having troubles with your wife?"

The man: "We had a fight, and she told me that she wasn't going to speak to me for a month." Bartender: "That should make you happy."

The man: "No, the month is up today!"

一个男人坐在酒吧里，伤心至极。

酒吧招待："你怎么了？跟老婆闹矛盾了？"

男人："我们吵了一架，她说一个月都不跟我说话。"

酒吧招待："那你应该高兴才是啊！"

男人："不，今天是这个月的最后一天。"

【Laughter】2009-5-27

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

女人找了老公之前都在担忧未来。男人娶了老婆之前从来不为未来担忧。

2009-5-26

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

男人想要的东西，要是值1块钱却卖2块，他也会买；而对于女人，即使是不想要的东西，要是值2块钱却只卖1块，她也会买。

2009-5-25

The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students and vice versa. "Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the

2nd time will be fined $60. Being caught a 3rd time will incur a fine of $180. Are there any questions?" At this moment, a male student in the crowd inquires, "Umm...How much for a season pass?"

女生宿舍将全面禁止男生进入，男生宿舍也同样不得女生光临。

"不论是谁，一旦违规，初犯将被罚款20美元。再犯要被罚款60美元。第3次被抓需要交180美元的罚款。还有什么疑问么？"

这时人群中一个男同学问道，"那么一个季度通行证需要多少钱？"

2009-5-24

Boy: Can I buy you a drink?

Girl: Actually I'd rather have the money.

男孩：我可以给你买杯饮料吗？

女孩：你不如直接把钱给我得了。

2009-5-22

Doctor: Your cough sounds much better today.

Patient: It should. I've been practicing all night.

医生：听上去你咳嗽今天好多了。

病人：应该如此。我昨晚练习了一整夜。

2009-5-21

Pete: "The last time I was out hunting, I stepped off a high cliff, and would you believe it, while I was falling every fool deed I'd ever done came into my mind."

Bob: "Must have been a pretty high mountain you fell from."

皮特："我上次出去打猎，跌下了很高的悬崖，信不信由你，当我跌落的时候，我脑海里浮现了我做过的所有蠢事。"

鲍勃："你一定是从万丈高山上跌落的吧。"

2009-5-19

Spending the night with their grandparents, 2 young boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers at bedtime. The younger boy began praying at the top of his lungs:"I PRAY FOR A BIKE...

I PRAY FOR A NEW DVD..."

His older brother nudged him and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf."

To which the little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!"

2个男孩与祖父母一起过夜，他们跪在床边做睡前祷告。弟弟声嘶力竭地祈祷: "我祈求一辆自行车，一张新DVD……"

哥哥用肘轻推他: "你为什么大喊着祈祷？上帝又不聋。"

弟弟答道:"上帝是不聋，但是奶奶聋。"

2009-5-18

A cop spotted a woman driving and knitting at the same time. Coming up beside her, he said, "Pull over!"

"No," she replied, "a pair of socks!"

巡警发现一名妇女边开车边织毛衣，便开车上前，说："靠边停车(套头衫)！"

"不，" 她回答，"是一双袜子！"

In order to prove the harmful effect of alcohol,the teacher put a bug into a glass filled with alcohol,soon the bug died. The teacher asked a student,"what does this show?"

The student answered,"It shows that people won't get parasites if they drink more alcohol."

酒的好处

为了证明酒精对生物的危害，老师把一只虫子放入装有酒精的杯子里，虫子很快就死了。老师问一个学生：“这说明了什么？”

学生答道：“说明人多喝酒，就不会长虫子。”

1.Teacher:Some students are becoming arrogant.Do you remember the story about race between

the hare and the tortoise?Now,Xiaoming,will you please tell us why the hare was defeated by the tortoise?

Xiaoming:Because the hare fell asleep.

Teacher:Absolutely right!What should we do so that the hare won't fall asleep?

Xiaoming:Exchange the tortoise for the wolf.

把乌龟换成狼

老师：有些同学开始骄傲了，大家还记得龟兔赛跑的故事吗。小明，你说说看，兔子为什么输给乌龟？

小明：因为它睡觉了。

老师：对极了！我们应该怎么做才能让兔子不睡觉呢？

小明：把乌龟换成狼！

Jonesie The Great Lion Hunter

A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast.

For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion.

In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling shrieks coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion.

"What happened, Jonesie? Where is the lion?" asked the chief.

"Forget the damn lion!" he howled. "Which one of you idiots let the bull loose?"

伟大的猎手Jonesie

有个小村庄正为一只吃人的狮子而烦恼。于是，村长派人去请伟大的猎手Jonesie来杀死这只野兽。

猎手躺着等了几个晚上，但狮子一直没有出现。最后，他要求村长杀只羊然后把头皮给他。把羊皮披在身上后，猎人到草原上去等狮子。

半夜，村民被从草原传来的声嘶力竭的尖叫声惊醒。他们小心地靠近后，看到猎手正躺在草地上痛苦地呻吟。没有狮子出没的蛛丝马迹。

“Jonesie，怎么了？狮子在哪？”村长问。

“哪有狮子！”猎人怒吼道，“哪个傻瓜把公牛放出来了？” ————————————————————————————————————————

Weather Predict

A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow rain." The next day it rained.

A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow storm." The next day there was a hailstorm.

"This Indian is incredible," said the director. He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather.

However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks. Finally the director sent for him. "I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow," said the director, "and I'm depending on you. What will the weather be like?"

The Indian shrugged his shoulders. "Don't know," he said. "Radio is broken."

天气预报

一个电影摄制组在沙漠深处工作.一天,一个印度老人到导演跟前告诉导演说"明天下雨."第二天果然下雨了.

一周后,印度人又来告诉导演说,"明天有风暴."果然,第二天下了雹暴.

"印度人真神,"导演说.他告诉秘书雇佣该印度人来预报天气.

几次预报都很成功.然后,接下来的两周,印度人不见了.

最后,导演派人去把他叫来了."我明天必须拍一个很大的场景,"导演说,"这得靠你了.明天天气如何啊?"

印度人耸了耸肩."我不知道,"印度人说,"收音机坏了." ——————————————————————————————————————————

I Am Acting Like a Lady

One day when women's dresses were on sale at the FarEast Department Store, a dignified middle-aged man decided to get his wife a piece. But he soon found himself being battered by

frantic women.

He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowed.

"You there!" challenged a thrill voice. "Can't you act like a gentleman?"

"Listen," he said, "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."

我要表现得象位女士

一天，远东百货公司的女装大减价，一位高贵的中年男士想给太太买一件。可是，没过多久，他发现自己已被疯狂的女人冲得踉踉跄跄。

他竭力忍耐着。后来，他低下头，挥动双臂，挤过人群。

“你干嘛？”有人尖声叫道，“你难道不能表现得象位绅士吗？”

“听着，”他说，“我已经象绅士一样表现了一个小时。从现在起，我要表现得象个女士。”

短篇英语笑话10则带翻译

短篇英语笑话10则带翻译 ①Goldfish金鱼 Stan: I won 92 goldfish. Fred: Where are you going to keep them? Stan: In the bathroom 。 Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath? Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛）them! =================================================================== 斯丹：我赢了92 条金鱼。弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？斯丹：浴室。弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！ ②The Revenge 欺骗的代价 Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Johnson: "But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!" =================================================================== 老农约翰逊就要死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地对妻子说：“我死后，我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。” 妻子说：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁给任何人。” 约翰逊：“但我希望你这么做。” 妻子：“为什么？” 约翰逊：“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。” ③I think that I'm a chicken 我想我是一只鸡 Psychiatrist: What's your problem? Patient: I think I'm a chicken. Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on? Patient: Ever since I was an egg! =================================================================== 精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？病人：我认为我是一只鸡。精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。 ④How do I get the gum out我怎么把口香糖取出来 Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keep their ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed up to her and said, "I'm meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum out from my ears?" =================================================================== 当空中小姐给乘客们发口香糖的时候，她解释说口香糖有助于他们防止耳鸣。飞机着陆后，一位乘客跑到这位空中小姐面前，说道：“ 我马上就要见到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖从耳朵里面取出来呢？”

英语幽默笑话带翻译新精编版

英语幽默笑话带翻译新 GE GROUP system office room 【GEIHUA16H-GEIHUA GEIHUA8Q8-

七年级下册英语短文带中文翻译(1-12单元)

Unit 1 (sectionB 3a) Dear Student, My name is Bob . I live in Toronto , Canada , and I want a pen pal in China . I think China is a interesting country . I’m 14 years old and my brithday is in November . I can sperk English and a littie Frenth . I have a brother , Paul , and a sister , Sarah . They have pen pals in the United Kingdom and Australia . I like going to the movies with my friends and playing sports . My favorite subject in school is P.E . It’s fun . But I don’t like math. It’s too difficult! Can you wtite to me soon? Bob 亲爱的同学，我的名字叫鲍勃，我住在加拿大的多伦多。我想在中国找个笔友。我认为中国是个非常有趣的国家。我十四岁，我的生日在九月。我能说英语和一点法语。我有一个哥哥 Paul, 和一个姐姐Sarah。他们在英国和澳大利亚有笔友。我喜欢和我的朋友们看电影和做运动。在学校我最喜欢的科目是体育。它很有趣。但我不喜欢数学。它太难了。你能尽快给我写信吗 Bob 3b PEN PAL WANTED My name is Tom King . I’m 14 years old and I’m from Australia . I sperk English . I have a brother , Sam , and a sister , Lisa . I play soccer on weekengs . It’s my favorite sport . I like music at school . It’s fun! My favorite movte is The Long Weekend . Do you know it ? It’s an action movie . Please write and tell me about yoursrlf. 征集笔友我的名字是汤姆~金。我14岁,我来自澳大利亚。我讲英语。我有一个哥哥, 萨姆,和一个妹妹,莉莎。我在周末踢足球，那是我最喜欢的运动。我喜欢学校的音乐课。它是有趣的!我最喜欢的电影是《这个长周末》。你知道它吗?它是一部动作片。请写信给我,告诉我有关你的一些情况。 Unit 2 (sectionB 3a) Welcome to the Garden District Turn left on First Avenue and enjoy the city’s quiet streets and smail parks . Take a walk through the park on Center Avenue . Across from the park is an old hotel . Next to the hotel is a small house with an interesting garden . This is the benginning of the garden tour. 欢迎来到这个花园区在第一大街左转并享受这个城市的安静街道和小公园。在中心大道上散步穿过这个公园。在公园对面是一个老旅馆。紧靠这个旅馆旁边是一个带着有趣花园的小房子。开始游历这个花园。

英语幽默笑话故事带翻译

英语幽默笑话故事带翻译篇一：英语短文笑话(带翻译) 1、How much English can you speak? "Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English." The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?" The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!" 中文翻译 "法官先生，我的当事人被指控偷窃，这是多么不公正啊。他一周前才来到纽约，几乎不认路。而且，他只会说几个英语单词。" 法官看了看被告，问道："你会说多少英文？" 被告抬起头，说："把你的钱包给我！" 2 A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use on average only 15000 words a day, whereas women use 30000 words a day. She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say. He said, "What?" 丈夫给妻子看了一项调查结果，为了向她证明女人比男人啰嗦。研究表明男人平均每天使用15000个字，而女人每天使用30000个。妻子想了一会儿说，女人每天说的字数是男人的两倍，因为她们必须重复已经说过的话。他问："什么？" 3 Boy: Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. 男孩：这个座位是空的么？女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。 4、 "Tom, what's the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen. "He's crying." "Oh, nothing, Mum," replied Tom. "I'm eating my cake. He is crying because I won't give him any." "But has he finished his own cake?" "Yes." said Tom. "And he also cried when I was helping him finish that." "汤姆，你弟弟怎么了？" 妈妈在厨房里问。"他在哭。" "没事儿，妈妈，" 汤姆答道。"我在吃我的蛋糕。他哭是因为我不给他吃。" "他已经吃完自己的了么？" "是的。" "我帮他吃完时，他也哭了。"

英语小笑话(带翻译)).

1 Boy: Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down. 男孩：这个座位是空的么？女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。 2，Boy: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: Actually I'd rather have the money. 男孩：我可以给你买杯饮料吗？女孩：你不如直接把钱给我得了。 3. My little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. 我的狗不识字布朗夫人：哦，亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。” 4. 反正我太太明天会来换的 My Wife Will Exchange Them A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves. ″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson. ″Makes no difference″replied customer. ″What color﹖″ asked the clerk. ″Any″ he responded. ″Size﹖″ ″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasper ated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow t o exchange them.″ 反正我太太明天会来换的一位先生走进一家商店要买副手套。 “您是要布的还是皮的？”售货员问。

完整20篇初中英语小短文带翻译

1 Dogs People often say that a dog is man's best friend. Over thousands of years, man has taught his dogs to do many kinds of work besides guarding the home. For example, sheepdogs are famous for their ability to control a flock of hundreds of sheep. Dogs have been used to aid disabled people for centuries. A guide dog can lead its blind owner. Nowadays, dogs can be taught to turn on light switches, open refrigerator doors and dial the telephone for their disabled owners. For the majority of people, however, dogs are simply pets and friends for both young and old members of the family. guard 看守,看护sheepdog 牧羊犬flock 群aid 帮助 disabled 残疾人century 世纪guide dog 导盲犬dial 拨majority 大多数狗人们总是说狗是人类最好的朋友.几千年来,除了看家外,人类还教会了狗去做许多其他的事,例如,牧羊犬就因其可以控制数百只羊的羊群而出名. 狗用来帮助残疾人已有好几个世纪了.导盲犬可以为盲主人引路.现在,人们还教狗为残疾主人打开电灯、开冰箱和拨电话.然而,对于大多数人来说,狗只是家里老人和孩子们的宠物和朋友. 2 Detective Work A bank robber stole a lot of money. He was caught and sent to prison, but the money was never found. When he came out of prison, they watched him to see what he would do. Here is the detective, reporting to the inspector. Yes, sir, I found Johnny . I followed him all around the town, but frankly, I couldn't make anything out of what he bought. Here's the list. shirt , heavy crowbar, box of chocolates , shovel, heavy hammer, bunch of flowers .The inspector said, Good. That helps me a lot. Do you remember how we watched him helping his neighbor, old Mrs. Judson to cover her backyard with cement? detective 侦探的侦探robber 强盗,盗贼prison 监狱 inspector 检察官frankly 坦白地,真诚地crowbar 铁撬,撬棒 shovel 铲,铁铲hammer 铁锤,锤子backyard 后院cement 水泥侦探工作一个盗贼从银行偷了很多钱.他被抓住送到监狱,但是钱没找到. 我发现了,先生,是的“侦探正向检察官报告：,这不.看他会做什么,他被监视,当他从监狱出来时．强尼?阿米塔基,我跟着他转遍了全镇,但坦白说,我不能从他买的东西中推断出什么.这里是清单.”衬衫、大铁撬、一盒巧克力铁铲、大铁锤、一束花. 检察官说：“好,这对我很有帮助.你还记得我们看到他是怎么帮他的邻居,贾德森老太太用水泥铺院子的吗?” 3 What is Time? （Nursery Rhyme） Time is grain for peasants. Time is wealth for workers.

超简短的5个英文笑话

超简短的5个英文笑话 1. Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home.老师：谁能回到我下一个问题，谁就可以回家了。 One boy throws his bag out the window. 一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。 Teacher: who just threw that?! 老师：谁刚刚把书包扔出去了? Boy: Me! I’m going home now. 男孩：我!我现在要回家了。 2. What dog can jump higher than a building? 什么狗比大楼跳的还高?

Anydog, buildings can't jump! 任何一只狗，大楼又跳不起来。 3. What has a head, a tail, and no body?什么有头、有尾，但是没有身体? A coin! 硬币。 4. What has one eye but cannot see? 什么有一只眼睛，却看不见? A needle. 针。

5. Wife: "How would you describe me?" 妻子：你会怎么形容我呢? Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." 丈夫：ABCDEFGHIJK. Wife: "What does that mean?" 妻子：那是什么意思? Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." 丈夫：迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。 Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"

英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译)

英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译) 线话英语|2016-03-14 17:03:05 英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译)如下： Midway Tactics Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue. The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!" The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!" The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".

中间战术三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!” 左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!” 中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。 Very Pleased to Meet You During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers. One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I’m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months. Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England. Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys." "Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said. "Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister." "I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!" 在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。琼.飞利浦斯是其中之一。她在一个大军营中工作，当然遇到了许多男士，包括军官和士兵。

英语笑话带翻译短一些的

英语笑话带翻译短一些的篇一：超简短的5个英文笑话超简短的5个英文笑话1. Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. 老师：谁能回到我下一个问题，谁就可以回家了。 One boy throws his bag out the window. 一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。 Teacher: who just threw that?! 老师：谁刚刚把书包扔出去了? Boy: Me! I’m going home now. 男孩：我!我现在要回家了。 2. What dog can jump higher than a building? 什么狗比大楼跳的还高? Anydog, buildings can't jump! 任何一只狗，大楼又跳不起来。 3. What has a head, a tail, and no body? 什么有头、有尾，但是没有身体? A coin! 硬币。 4. What has one eye but cannot see? 什么有一只眼睛，却看不见? A needle. 针。 5. Wife: "How would you describe me?" 妻子：你会怎么形容我呢? Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." 丈夫：ABCDEFGHIJK. Wife: "What does that mean?" 妻子：那是什么意思? Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." 丈夫：迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。 Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" 妻子：哇，谢谢，但是“IJK”是什么意思呢? Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

简单幽默英语小故事及翻译

1 I Don?t Like Her Bob goes to a new school. One day he comes back, “Bob, do you like your new teacher?” his mother asks.“I don?t like her, Mother. Because first she says that three and three is six, and then she says that two and four is six, too.” 我不喜欢她鲍勃的去了所新学校。一天，他回到家，他妈妈问他：“你喜欢你的新老师吗？” “不，我不喜欢她，妈妈。因为她先说3加3等于6，然后她又说2加4等于6.” 2 Ten Candies Mother asks her son, “Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candles do you have?” “Ten.” Jim says. “Ten？” Mother asks. Yes, Mum. Four candies are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach. Four and six is ten, isn?t it right?” 十块糖妈妈问儿子：“吉姆，如果你有10块糖，吃了4块，那你还有几块糖？”“10块。”吉姆说。

“10块？”妈妈问。 “是的，妈妈。因为4块在我的肚子里面，6块在肚子外面，4加6等于10，不对吗？” 3 Where is the egg? Teacher: Can you make a sentence with the word "egg"? Student: Yes. I ate a piece of cake yesterday. Teacher: Then where is the “egg"? Student: In the cake, sir. 鸡蛋在哪里？老师：你能用“鸡蛋”一词造句吗？学生：可以。我昨天吃了一块蛋糕。老师：“鸡蛋”在哪？学生：在蛋糕里，先生 4 Count Tomorrow Morning It?s a night. John is looking at the sky. Tom is John?s younger brother. He asks John “What are you doing?” John says, “I?m counting stars.” Tom laughs and says, “It?s really dark now. Why not count them tomorrow morning?” 明天早上数

英文小笑话(带中文翻译)

The mean man's party The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot." "Why use my elbow and foot?" "Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?吝啬鬼请客一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。” “为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？” “你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。 I think that I'm a chicken Psychiatrist: What's your problem? Patient: I think I'm a chicken. Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on? Patient: Ever since I was an egg! 精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？病人：我认为我是一只鸡。精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。 Who Is the Laziest? Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class? Tom: I don't know, father. Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work? Tom: Our teacher, father.

英语笑话100篇【简单易懂英语笑话阅读】

竭诚为您提供优质的服务，优质的文档，谢谢阅读/双击去除英语笑话100篇【简单易懂英语笑话阅读】笑话是民族文化及社会生活中不可缺少的一环,从古至今都拥有广大的受众,深受人们喜爱。这其中的原因,不仅在于笑话能够折射出社会生活中的方方面面,而且在于,笑话可以在说笑中蕴含着人们对于美好生活的期盼和诉求。小编精心收集了简单易懂英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习! 简单易懂英语笑话篇1 Iwasoncetoldbyajapanesestudentthatthisisanoldstory.

onesaturdayafternoonthegrasshopper,thesnail,andthec entipedeweresittingaroundthegrasshopper'shousedrink ingbeer. Theyranoutofbeerbeforetheywerereadytoquitdrinking,s otheydecidedoneofthemshouldgooutformorebeer. Thesnailsaid,"I'dgo,butI'mkindofslow.besides,grassh opper,thisisyourneighborhoodsoyouknowwheretogo." Thegrasshoppersaid,"Idon'tmindgoing,butmyhoppingwil lshakeupthebeerandwe'llgetsprayedeverytimeweopenone ."

sotheydecidedtosendthecentipede;andthegrasshopperex plainedhowtogettothenearestliquorstore. Anhourorsopassedandstillthecentipedehadn'treturned, sothesnailandthegrasshopperdecidedtogolookforhim. Theygotasfarasthethefrontdoorandfoundthecentipedesi ttingthereputtingonhisshoes. submittedbyrodneyA.hoiseth-rothcorporation 简单易懂英语笑话篇2 Thisjokeneverfailstogetalaugh.

2019年英语笑话带翻译简短的

2019年英语笑话带翻译简短的篇一：短篇英语笑话10则带翻译短篇英语笑话10则带翻译 ①Goldfish金鱼 Stan:Iwon92goldfish. Fred:Whereareyougoingtokeepthem? Stan:Inthebathroom。 Fred:Butwhatwillyoudowhenyouwanttotakeabath? Stan:Blindfold（蒙眼睛）them! =========================================================== ========斯丹：我赢了92条金鱼。弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？

斯丹：浴室。弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！ ②TheRevenge欺骗的代价 OldFarmerJohnsonwasdying.Thefamilywasstandingaroundhisbed.W ithalowvoicehesaidtohiswife:"WhenI'mdeadIwantyoutomarryfarm erJones."Wife:"No,Ican'tmarryanyoneafteryou."Johnson:"ButIw antyouto."Wife:"Butwhy?"Johnson:"Jonesoncecheatedmeinahorse deal!" =========================================================== ========老农约翰逊就要死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地对妻子说：“我死后，我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。”妻子说：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁给任何人。”约翰逊：“但我希望你这么做。”妻子：“为什么？”约翰逊：“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。”

英语笑话(带中文翻译)

1、How much English can you speak? "Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English." The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?" The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!" 中文翻译 "法官先生，我的当事人被指控偷窃，这是多么不公正啊。他一周前才来到纽约，几乎不认路。而且，他只会说几个英语单词。" 法官看了看被告，问道："你会说多少英文？" 被告抬起头，说："把你的钱包给我！" 2 A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use on average only 15000 words a day, whereas women use 30000 words a day. She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say. He said, "What?" 丈夫给妻子看了一项调查结果，为了向她证明女人比男人啰嗦。研究表明男人平均每天使用15000个字，而女人每天使用30000个。妻子想了一会儿说，女人每天说的字数是男人的两倍，因为她们必须重复已经说过的话。他问："什么？" 3 Boy: Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. 男孩：这个座位是空的么？女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。 4、 "Tom, what's the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen. "He's crying." "Oh, nothing, Mum," replied Tom. "I'm eating my cake. He is crying