小学生英语笑话故事精选

The preacher was vexed because a certain member of his congregation always fell asleep during the sermon.

As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon.

So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation.

"All who want to go to heaven, please rise."

Everyone got up except the snorer.

After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced,

"All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."

Awaking with a start ， the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpi——

"Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on,

but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."

牧师非常生气，因为总有一个人在他说教时打瞌睡。

一个星期天，正当坐在前排的那个人又在瞌睡时，牧师决定要好好教育他一下，

让他不要再在布道时睡觉。

于是他低声对信徒们说：“想去天堂的人，都请站起来吧。”

所有的人都站了起来——

当然，除了那个打瞌睡的人。

在低声说过请坐后，牧师高声喊道：“想去下地狱的人请站起来!”

打瞌睡的人被这突然的喊叫声惊醒了，他站了起来。

看到牧师高站在教坛上，正生气的看着他。

这个人说道：“噢，先生，我不知道我们在选什么，

但看上去只有你和我是候选人。”

A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order. There was a big sign posted. "No bills larger than $20 will be accepted."

我和一个朋友在快餐店排队订餐，那里很醒目地写着，不接受超过20美元的大钞请自备零钱。

The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, "Believe me, if I HAD a bill larger than $20, I wouldn't be eating here."

我们前边的一个女士指着这个牌子对我们说：“上帝保佑，如果我身上有超过20美元的话，我一定不会在这儿吃饭!”

A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from a jewelry store.

一个小偷在一家珠宝店企图偷走一只手表的时候被当场擒获。

"Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either.

“听着，”小偷说，“我知道你们也不想惹麻烦。

What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?"

我把这只表买下，然后我们就当什么也没发生，你看怎样?”

The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip.

经理表示同意，然后列了一张售货单。

The crook looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend."

小偷看着单子说道：“这比我最初的预算稍稍高了一点，你们还有没有便宜一点儿东西。”

感谢您的阅读，祝您生活愉快。

英语幽默小故事

1、New Discovery A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator. Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, "I shouldhave brought my wife!" 新发现一个乡下人第一次到大城市游逛。他走进一座大楼，看见一个岁数很大的矮胖女人迈进一个小房间。房间的门随后关上，有几个灯在闪亮。一会儿，门开了，电梯里走出一位年青漂亮的女模特。乡下人惊奇地眨着眼睛，慢吞吞地说：“我应该把我的老婆带来!” hillbilly n. 乡下人，乡巴佬. pudgy adj.矮胖的，矮而粗的 drawl vt, vi慢吞吞地说；拉长语调地说 2、Always Thirsty "I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me." "That's terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?" "No, but I am always thirsty!" 总感到口渴一个男人对他的朋友说：“我动了一次手术，手术后医生把一块海绵忘在我的身体里了。” “真是太糟糕了！”朋友说道：“你觉得疼吗？”

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10篇英文小故事讲课稿

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小学四年级英语小故事精选

Story 1 Three Good Friends One day, a monkey rides his bike near the river. This time he sees a lion under a tree. The lion runs at him. He is afraid and falls into the river. He can’t swim. He shouts. The rabbit hears him. He jumps into the river. The rabbit swims to the monkey, but he can’t help him. Luckily, an elephant comes along. He is very strong. He helps the rabbit and monkey. Three friends are very happy. They go to the elephant’s home. Then, three of them become good friends. 故事1 三个好朋友一天，一只猴子在河边骑车。这时他看见树下有一只狮子，狮子向他跑来。他非常的害怕，掉进河里。他不会游泳，大叫起来。兔子听见了，跳进水里，但他却没有办法救猴子。幸运的是，一只大象过来了。大象非常强壮，救出了兔子和猴子。他们来到大象的家，在那里吃了一顿大餐。从此他们成了好朋友。 Story 2 The Old Man and the Old Cat An old man has a cat. The cat is very old, too. He runs very quickly. And his teeth are bad. One evening, the old cat sees a little mouse. He catches it, but he can’t eat it because his teeth are not strong enough. The mouse runs away. The old man is very angry. He beats his cat. He says: “You are a fool cat. I will punish you!”the cat is very sad. He thinks：“When I was young, I worked hard for you. Now you don’t like me because I’m too old to work. You should know you are old, too.” 故事2 老人和老猫一个年迈的老人养一只猫。这只猫也非常老了。她跑得很快，但是牙齿很糟糕。一天王还是那个，这只老猫看见一只小老鼠。它抓住了小老鼠，但是它却吃不了它，因为它的牙齿不够锋利了。这只小老鼠逃跑了。老人很生气，他打了小猫，并且对它说：“你这只蠢猫!我要惩罚你!”猫非常伤心，它想：“在我还年轻的时候，我为你努力工作。现在你却因为我太老了不能工作而不喜欢我。你应该知道你也老了。”

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A Soldier's Brilliant Idea Mr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business, and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air. He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got on to the plane, he looked for a window seat. He found all of them had already had been taken except for one. There was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one, and Mr. Robinson was surprised that he had not taken the one by the window; but, anyhow, he at once went towards it. When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it. It was written in ink and said, "This seat is preserved for proper load balance, thank you." Mr Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a plane before, but he thought that the plane must be carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked on and found another empty seat, not beside a window, to sit in. Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside the soldier, but they too read the notice and went on, when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful girl hurried into the plane. The soldier, who was watching the passengers coming in, quickly took the notice off the seat beside himself and in this way succeededin having the company of the girl during the whole trip. 英语幽默：士兵坐飞机有美女陪伴的高招由于生意方面的事，罗宾逊先生得出趟门。因为有点紧急，他决定坐飞机。乘机旅行时，他喜欢靠窗坐，故而一登机，他就寻找一个靠窗的座位。他发现只有一个靠窗的座位还空着。在那空座位边坐着一名士兵。令罗宾逊先生纳闷的是，这位士兵没有坐靠窗的位置。罗宾逊先生不管那些，他马上径直朝那个空座位走去。然而，等到了那儿，他看见座位上有则启事，是用钢笔写的：“为保持装载平衡，特预设该位置，谢谢合作。”罗宾逊先生还从来没有在飞机上见过如此不同寻常的启事。不过，他想飞机上一定装了什么特别重的物品，于是他找了个不靠窗的位置。又有两三个乘客试图坐在那个士兵旁的靠窗座位上，他们看到那则启事就走开了。当快满座时，一位非常美丽的姑娘匆匆走进机舱。一直在注意进舱旅客的那个士兵赶紧拿掉他旁边空座位上的启事。士兵用这种办法，成功地找到了一位姑娘一路作伴。

英语小故事3分钟左右

英语小故事3分钟左右【篇一：英语小故事3分钟左右】翅膀一天,我工作的炸鸡店在关门前出现了一阵抢购狂潮,结果除了鸡翅外所有的东西都卖完了.当我正准备锁门时,一名喝醉了的旅客进来要进餐.我问他翅膀行不行,他从柜台上靠过身子来,回答道：“女士,我到这儿来是吃东西的,不是要飞!” wings the fried-chicken restaurant where i was working had a big rush just before closing one day, leaving us with nothing to sell but wings. as i was about to lock the doors, aa quietly intoxicated customer came in and ordered dinner. when i asked if wings would be all right, he leaned over the counter and replied, lady, i came in here to eat, not fly. 真的是太多了：这是保存在我的电脑里的哦 a brother like that a friend of mine named paul received an automobile from his brother as a christmas present. on christmas eve when paul came out of his office, a street urchin was walking around the shiny new car, admiring it. is this your car, mister? he said. paul nodded. my brother gave it to me for christmas. the boy was astounded. you mean your brother gave it to you and it didn’t cost you nothing? boy, i wish . . . he hesitated. of course paul knew what he was going to wish for. he was going to wish he had a brother like that. but what the lad said jarred paul all the way down to his heels. i wish, the boy went on, that i could be a brother like that. paul looked at the boy in astonishment, then impulsively he added, would you like to take a ride in my car? oh yes, id love that. after a short ride, the boy turned with his eyes aglow, said, mister, would you mind driving in front of my house? paul smiled a little. he thought he knew what the lad wanted. he wanted to show his neighbors that he could ride home in a