英语幽默搞笑短文阅读英语短文阅读
英语幽默搞笑短文阅读英语短文阅读
幽默源自于生活,与人们的生活密接相关,也在很大程度上改善了人们的生活。了英语幽默搞笑短文，欢迎阅读!
Harry was given two apples, a small one and a large one, by his Mum. Share them with your sister, she said.
So Harry gave the small one to his little sister and started touching into the large one.
Cor! said his sister, If Mum had given them to me I'd have given you the large one and had the small one myself.
Well, said Harry, that's what you've got, so what are you worrying about?
妈妈给了哈里两个苹果，一个大一点，另一个小点儿。跟妹妹分着吃。妈妈说。
所以，哈里就把小个的给了妹妹，自己开始啃那个大个的。
哼，妹妹说，如果妈妈给了我，我会把大的给你，把小的留给自己的。
对呀，哈里说，你拿到的不就是小的吗?还着什么急呀?
One day, the father lets eight year-old son send a letter, the son took the letter , the father then remembered didn't write the address and addressee's name on the envelope.
After the son es back, the father asks him: "You have thrown the letter in the mail box?"
"Certainly"
"You have not seen on the envelope not to write the address and the addressee name?"
"I certainly saw nothing written on the envelope."
"Then why you didn't take it back?"
"I also thought that you do not write the address and the addressee, is for does not want to let me know that you do send the letter to who!"
有一天,父亲让八岁的儿子去寄一封信,儿子已经拿着信跑了,
父亲才想起信封上没写地址和收信人的名字。
儿子回来后,父亲问他:“你把信丢进邮筒了吗?”“当然”“你没看见信封上没有写地址和收信人名字吗?”
“我当然看见信封上什么也没写”“那你为什么不拿回来呢?”
“我还以为你不写地址和收信人,是为了不想让我知道你把信
寄给谁呢!”
The preacher was vexed(生气的) because a certain member of his congregation(集会，圣会) always fell asleep during the sermon.
As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation. "All who
want to go to heaven, please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."
Awaking with a start(吓一跳) , the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit(讲道坛) , "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."
牧师非常生气，因为总有一个人在他说教时打瞌睡。
一个星期天，正当坐在前排的那个人又在瞌睡时，牧师决定要好好教育他一下，让他不要再在布道时睡觉。于是他低声对信徒们说：“想去天堂的人，都请站起来吧。”所有的人都站了起来——当然，除了那个打瞌睡的人。在低声说过请坐后，牧师高声喊道：“想去下地狱的人请站起来!”
打瞌睡的人被这突然的喊叫声惊醒了，他站了起来。看到牧师高站在教坛上，正生气的看着他。这个人说道：“噢，先生，我不知道我们在选什么，但看上去只有你和我是候选人。”
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英语短篇幽默小故事 篇一：英语幽默小故事10篇. 英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译)如下： Midway Tactics Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue. The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!" The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".中间战术 三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!” 左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!” 中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。 Very Pleased to Meet You During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.
“地道中文”的搞笑英语翻译
【翻译趣闻】 “地道中文”的搞笑英语翻译 1. 有他这颗扫帚星，什么事情都办不成。 [误] With a comet like him, nothing can be accomplished. [正] With a jinx like him, nothing can be accomplished. 注：“扫帚星”是中国人对“慧星”(comet)的俗称，因其后面拖着一条像扫帚一样的长尾巴而得名。在中国古代，“扫帚星”被认为是灾难的预兆，并被用来比喻不吉利的人或事；祸根：(person or thing that is thought to bring)bad luck(to sb/sth)；curse。英语的comet 虽然没有这层含义，但却有一个对应的说法，即jinx。 例：There's a jinx on/Someone's put a jinx on this car: it's always giving me trouble. (这辆汽车上有什么妨人的东西，总给我找麻烦。) 2.萝卜青菜，各有所爱。 [误] Some prefer radish but others prefer cabbage. [正] Tastes differ。 注：Tastes differ/vary是句英语谚语，除此以外，原句还可翻译成No dish suits all tastes 或You can never make everyone happy 等。此外，我们还可以这样说：One man's meat is another man's poison. 总之，应采取意译。 3.他一向嘴硬，从不认错。 [误] He has always got a hard mouth and never admit a fault. [正] He never says uncle. 注：say (cry) uncle: to give up or in; to surrender; to admit defeat. Mainly used by boys, as when fighting. 这句话主要是男孩们打架时的用语，当一方想制服另一方时，就用命令的口气说：“Say uncle!” 这时，有的孩子为了表示不服输，就是不说。后来，say uncle 就成了“服输”的代名词，而not say uncle 就相当于“嘴硬”了。 4.老师很喜欢这个嘴甜的小姑娘。 [误] The teacher likes this sweet-mouthed little girl very much. [正] The teacher likes this honey-lipped little girl very much. 注：中国人喜欢说“嘴甜”，但honey-lipped更符合英美人的语言习惯。 5.同学们都很讨厌他，因为他经常拍老师的马屁。 [误] The students all dislike him because he often pats the teacher's ass. [正] The students all dislike him because he often licks the teacher's boots. 注：以前在欧洲，臣民见到国王与王后往往要亲吻他们的靴子。后来，人们将lick the boots 引申为“为了某种目的而讨好某人”，它与汉语的“拍马屁”含义一样。在美国英语中，“拍马屁”还有另一种说法，即polish the apple，源于以前的学生用擦亮的苹果来讨好老师。
小学英语小短文和阅读理解
1. My name is Tom. My birthday is on 2nd of June. The weather is sunny and hot. It’s my favourite season. On my birthday, I usually have a birthday party. Sometimes I have a picnic with my family. Tomorrow is my birthday. I am cleaning the room now. My mum is making a birthday cake for me. 根据上面短文的意思判断下面的句子是否正确，正确的在句子前面的括号里打“√”，不正确的打“×” ( )1.Tom’s birthday is on Children’s Day. ( )2.It’s warm and sunny in summer. ( )3. Today is June 1st. ( )4. Tom’s mother can make a birthday cake. ( )https://www.360docs.net/doc/c411016748.html,ually there is a birthday party on Tom’s birthday. 2. Look!This is a picture of Mr.Brown't family. The man in a biack coat is Mr.Brown.The woman near him is Mrs.Brown,The little girl in a red coat is Sue. The tall boy behind her is Jim,her brother.The family is now in China.Tomorrow is Children's Day.MR brown wants to buy some presents for his children. Sue wants a new skirt,but Jim wants a new bike. How happy they are! 1.Whose picture is this? ____________________________________________. 2.Where's the family now? ____________________________________________. 3.Who is the little girl in a red coat? ____________________________________________. 4.What presents do Mr Brown's children want to buy? ____________________________________________. 5.Which festival is tomorrow? ____________________________________________. 3. Betty and KittyBetty and Kitty are twins. They’re 12 years old. They look the same. But they have different hobbies. Betty likes collecting stamps. She has many beautiful stamps. They’re from different cities and countries. But Kitty likes growing flowers. The flowers are all very beautiful.Betty and Kitty both like reading books. Betty likes reading storybooks. But Kitty likes reading science books.On Sunday,they usually ride bikes to the park. They can play with their friends there. Sometimes their parents go there, too. 根据短文内容，判断下列句子的正误，正确的写“T”，错误的写“F”。( ) 1. Betty is Kitty’s sister. ( ) 1. Betty likes growing flowers. ( ) 2. Kitty likes reading storybooks. ( ) 3. They’re twelve years old. ( ) 4. They usually take a bus to the park on Saturday. 4. Lovely pandas’faces look like cats’, but their fat bodies and short tails are like bears’. Pandas are very lovely and they are friendly to people. People likes them very much.Most Pandas live in China. The