小学生英语小笑话带翻译

小学生英语小笑话带翻译
小学生英语小笑话带翻译

小学生英语小笑话带翻译

篇一:小学英语笑话带翻译

The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant. "You have your choice of two brains," he told the patient, "For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist, or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician."

The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price. "Is the brain of a politician that much better?" he asked.The Brain Surgeon replied, "No, it’s not better, just unused."

脑移植

一个外科医生正要作一个脑移植手术。

“你可以从两个脑子中选一个给你。”医生告诉病人,“一个心理学家的大脑1000美元,一个政治家的大脑10000美元。

病人很惊讶二者之间这样大的差别,“政治家的大脑好一些吗?”他问。

医生说:“不是好一些,只是没有用过。”

篇二:小学生英语幽默笑话12

英语笑话

小明上英文课时跟老师说:May I go to the toilet? 老师说:Go ahead. 小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿,小明又跟老师说:May I go to the toilet? 老师说:Go ahead.

小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问:你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗?怎么不去?小明说:你没听老师说“去你个头”啊!

英语笑话

某日刘洪涛遇到外宾,上前搭话曰:I am HongTao Liu. 外宾曰:我还是方片七呢!

英语笑话

某人刻苦学习英语,终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞,忙说:I am sorry. 老外应道:I am sorry too. 某人听后又道:I am sorry three. 老外不解,问:What are you sorry for? 某人无奈,道:I am sorry five.

英语笑话

英语老师问一个学生,“How are you是什么意思” 学生想how是怎么,you 是你,于是回答“怎么是你?” 老师生气又问另一个同学:“How old are you ?是什么意思?” 这个同学想了想说:“怎么老是你?”

英语笑话

小明在学习英语时,总爱把英语单词的读音用汉字标注出来。因此很产生了一个大笑话。老师在教学问价钱一课时,问某商品多少钱时用“How much”,小明赶紧在这个词组下面用汉字标出了他的读音“好吗嘛”。标完后还洋洋得意,觉得自己学会了。

一次,小明到商店买东西,老板是个老外。小明想要一瓶可乐,说了半天老板听不懂,小明只好用手指到可乐,老板才把可乐拿给他。等到付钱时,小明马上想到自己学的英语知识,高兴的说“好吃嘛?”,老板摇摇头,小明挠挠头,心想是不是记错了,又说“嘛好吃?”。老板摇摇头,小明急了说道“吃好嘛?”。老板摇摇头,小明情急之中冒出“好嘛吃”。老板这才点点头。小明惭愧的满脸通红,低着头抓耳挠腮地离开了商店。

这个笑话固然可笑,但也告诉我们一个道理:千万不要在英语单词或句子下用汉字注音。只有靠多读才能牢记单词、句子的发音。否则也会出现类似的笑话。

英语笑话

有个老外到唐山去旅游,住在当地一户农家里。早上起来,看见院子里有只猫,就逗猫玩,这时候这户人家的老太太出来了,就说:“鼓捣猫呢?”老外还以为是问“早上好”,于是就回了一句“Good morning!”

到了晚上,老太太看见这老外又在洗衣服,就说:鼓捣衣服呢?老

外赶紧又回答一句:“Good evening!”心里那个佩服,中国人厉害,连老太太英语都说得这么好!

深夜,老外泡了一杯牛奶,准备喝完睡觉,又被老太太看见了,问老外:“鼓捣奶呢?”老外一听,连“Good night”都会说,彻底晕菜。

英语笑话

一位父亲检查儿子的英语课本时,看到了极其恐怖的一页:

yes——爷死

nice——奶死

bus——爸死

mouth——妈死

girls——哥死

was——我死

cheese——气死

does——都死

英语笑话

English的谐音:

小时侯,把English读为"应给利息"的同学当了行长;读为"阴沟里洗"的成了小菜贩子;读为"因果联系"的成了哲学家;读为"硬改历史"的成了领导;读为"英国里去"的成了海外华侨;

而我不小心读成了"应该累死",结果成了公司职员。。。

英语笑话

一中国男士在英国观光时突然拉肚子,他赶紧跑进公厕里~~~~终于解决了,他得意的哼着歌走出来,却发现一大群人惊奇的看着他。他这才发现,原来自己慌乱间进了女厕。

“怎么办,出丑了,可不能给中国人丢脸啊,”反应迅速的他立刻装出一脸*笑,一个90度鞠躬,大喊一声:

“撒由那拉,byebye~~~”然后大摇大摆地走了。后面围观的人群皱着眉头表情厌恶地嘟囔:“Oh,shit~~~~Japenese!!!”

英语笑话

陪妈学英语

那天我正在看碟,老妈捧了本书进来,说道:给我讲讲这几句话什么意思。

老妈:这个I don't know,是什么意思?

我说:我不知道。

老妈:送你上大学上了几年,你怎么什么都不知道!!

我说:不是!就是我不知道吗!!

老妈:还嘴硬¥◎%※??×(%!◎¥!◎%??(一顿暴揍)

老妈:你在给我说说这个,I know是什么意思?你该知道吧,给我说说。

我说:是,我知道。

老妈:知道就快说。

我说:就是,我知道。

老妈:找茬呀你?刚才收拾你收拾的轻是不?

我说:就是我知道呀!

老妈:知道你还不说!!!不懂不要装懂!!#¥◎#%◎#!◎!(又一顿暴揍)

老妈:你给我小心点,花那么多钱送你上学,搞得现在什么都不会,会那么一丁点东西还跟老娘摆谱,再问你一个,你给我好好解释一下,说不出来我再收拾你,你给我翻译一下

I know but I don't want to tell you. 是什么意思?我晕倒,拿起枕头往头上暴砸三十几下,用头撞墙四十多下,双手轮番抽自己嘴巴五十多下,用腿踢桌子角六十多下,血肉模糊之时,我问老妈:这下你满意了吧?人们常说,学习是艰苦的历程,不过我不明白,为什么受伤的总是我。我妈学英语的热情日益高涨,因而我得苦难就日益加深。每当老妈问我英文的时候,我都会先吃三片阿司匹林,缠好绷带,在运上龟背神功至第十二重。这不,他老人家又来问我了:儿啊,I'm very sad, don't trouble me是什么意思啊?

我:我很伤心,别烦我。

老妈:找打,跟你妈这么说话(于是被扁)

老妈又问:I hear nothing,repeat是what意思啊?

我说:我没听清,再说一次。

老妈又说了一遍:I hear nothing,repeat.

我说:我没听清,再说一次。(结果被扁。)

老妈再问:What did you say?又怎么解释呢?

我说:你说什么?(再次被扁)

老妈再问:look up in the dictionary是何意呀?

我说:查字典。

英语笑话

江青会见外宾,要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻,不许走样。外宾一见到江青,立刻拍马屁道:"Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful."

翻译照翻,江青心花怒放,嘴上还要谦虚一下:“哪里,哪里”。翻译不敢怠慢,把江青的话翻成英文:"Where? Where?"

外宾一愣,还有这样的人,追问哪里漂亮的,干脆马屁拍到底:"Everywhere, everywhere."翻译:“你到处都很漂亮。”

江青更高兴了,但总是要客气一下:“不见得,不见得”。

翻译赶紧翻成英文:"You are not allowed to see, you are not allowed to see."

英语笑话

话说某年某月的某一天,三个神箭手约在一起比箭,目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。

A神箭手挽弓长射,咻一声,利箭正中苹果。A高傲的昂起下巴,竖出一根大拇指道:I am后羿!

B神箭手照本宣科,射中苹果,这回他自大的喊了一句:I am丘比特!

轮到C了,他也挽弓,利箭射出!结果正中仆人的心脏。就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句:I...I...I...am...sorry...

篇三:英语小笑话(带翻译))

1 Boy: Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down. 男孩:这个座位是空的么?女孩:是的,如果你坐下,我的座位也将是空的。2,Boy: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: Actually I'd rather have the money. 男孩:我可以给你买杯饮料吗?女孩:你不如直接把钱给我得了。3. My little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. 我的狗不识字布朗夫人:哦,亲爱的,我把珍爱的小狗给丢了!史密斯夫人:可是你该在报纸上登广告啊!布朗夫人:没有用的,我的小狗不认识字。” 4.反正我太太明天会来换的My Wife Will Exchange ThemA gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves. ″Cloth or leather﹖

customer. ″What color﹖″ asked the clerk. ″Any″ he responded. ″Size﹖″ ″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasperated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow t o exchange them.″ 反正我太太明天会来换的一位先生走进一家商店要买副手套。“您是要布的还是皮的?”售货员问。

“没什么区别。”这位顾客回答。“那您要什么颜色的呢?”售货员又问。“什么颜色都成。”他回答。“号码呢?” “您就随便给我拿一副吧,”这位顾客有点不耐烦了,“反正我太太明天都会来换的。”5.A physics Examination Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his class mates were thinking it hard. The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thund er rolls? Nick‘s answer: Because our eyes are before ears. 一次物理考试在一次物理考试时,当同学们都还在苦思冥想时,尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。这个问题是:为什么在打雷时,我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声?尼克的回答是:因为眼睛在前,耳朵在后。6. Jim’s History Examination Uncle: How did Jim do in his history examination? Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn't his fault. They asked him things that happened before the poor boy was born. 吉姆的历史考试舅舅:吉姆这孩子历史考得怎么样?母亲:唉,糟透了。可话又说回来,这也不能怪他。嗨,他们尽问一些这个可怜的孩子出生前的事儿。7.he is really somebody -- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do?

-- A maintenance man in a cemetery. 他真是一个大人物-- 我叔叔下面有1000 个人。-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的?-- 墓地守墓人。8 I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 他的耳朵在我衣兜里伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问,“发生了什么事?” “一个男孩咬了我一口,”伊凡说。“再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈

妈问。“他走到哪里我都能认出他,”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。” 9 Three-year-old boy took a three-year-old girl's hand and said: "I love you." The little girl said: "can you get me for the future?" The little boy said: "of course can, we're not one or two years old!" 一个三岁小男孩拉着一个三岁小女孩的手说:“我爱你。”小女孩说:“你能为我的未来负责吗?”小男孩说:“当然能,我们都不是一两岁的人了!10. Bedtime Prayers Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. "Please God," she said, "Make Naples the capital of Italy. Make Naples the capital of Italy." Her mother interrupted and said, "Julie, why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy?" And Julie replied, "Because that/’s what I put in my geography exam!" 睡前祷告词朱莉叶在做睡前祷告。“祷告上帝,”她说,“让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都吧。让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都吧。” 妈妈打断她说:“朱莉叶,你为什么求上帝让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都呢?” 朱莉叶回答说:“因为我在地理考卷上是这么写的。”

有关经典英语小笑话爆笑-20个英语笑话爆笑超短

有关经典英语小笑话爆笑|20个英语笑话爆笑超短 笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。笑话带来的幽默感可以让我们交到更多的朋友。小编分享有关爆笑经典英语小笑话,希望可以帮助大家! 有关爆笑经典英语小笑话:Good News and Bad News The soldiers had been marching and fighting, they were dirty, hot and tired. One day, the general announced: “My men, I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which one would you like first?” ”The good news!” they all shouted. ”OK,” said the General. “The good news is that you will each be receiving a complete change of clothing.” ”Hurrah!” chorused the soldiers. ”And now for the bad news. Jack, you will change with John. John, you will change with Tom. Tom, you will change with Robert. Robert .... 好消息和坏消息 士兵们连续的行军,作战,他们又累又热又脏。一天,将军宣布: “士兵们,我有一些好消息和坏消息要告诉你们。你们愿意先听哪个呢?” “好消息!”他们嚷道。 “好吧,”将军说,“好消息就是你们每个人都可以彻底的换一身 衣服。” “乌拉!”士兵们高兴地大叫起来。 “现在呢,该是坏消息了。杰克,你将和约翰换衣服,约翰,你和汤姆 换,汤姆,你和罗伯特换,罗伯特……”有关爆笑经典英语小笑话:Help! Doctor! Help! Doctor! Please come quickly! ”My ten-year-old son has just swallowed a pen!” ”Ok , I’ll be right there. I’ll be there in 10 to 20 minutes.” ”Good,but....what am I supposed to do in the meantime?” ”Just use another pen!” 急诊 “唉!医生!你赶快来! 我那个十岁的小孩刚刚吞下去一支笔!” “喔!我马上过去,大概十分钟或二十分钟就会到了!” ”是,不过在.....在这个中间我该怎么办呢?” “用别的笔嘛!”有关爆笑经典英语小笑话:Do What You Can Originally in English In a courtroom, the judge sentenced a criminal to thirty years in prison and the prisoner said, “But Sir, I won’t live that long!” So the judge replied, “Don’t worry; just do what you can!” 尽力而为就好 在法庭上,法官宣判某个罪犯要服三十年徒刑。 犯人说:「不过庭上,我活不了那么久啊!」 法官说:「别担心!你尽力而为就好。」

英语幽默笑话带翻译新精编版

英语幽默笑话带翻译新 GE GROUP system office room 【GEIHUA16H-GEIHUA GEIHUA8Q8-

英语幽默笑话带翻译 1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!" 医生懂得多 一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多." 2:You can't go without me The bus is very crowded. A man tries to get on, but no one gives way to him. "Hey, let me get on the bus." the man shouts. "It's too crowded. You'd better take the next bus." a passenger says to him. "But you can't go without me. I'm the driver." the man says. 没有我你们走不了 公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路.

英语小笑话(带翻译)).

1 Boy: Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down. 男孩:这个座位是空的么? 女孩:是的,如果你坐下,我的座位也将是空的。 2,Boy: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: Actually I'd rather have the money. 男孩:我可以给你买杯饮料吗? 女孩:你不如直接把钱给我得了。 3. My little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. 我的狗不识字 布朗夫人:哦, 亲爱的,我把珍爱的小狗给丢了! 史密斯夫人:可是你该在报纸上登广告啊! 布朗夫人:没有用的,我的小狗不认识字。” 4. 反正我太太明天会来换的 My Wife Will Exchange Them A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves. ″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson. ″Makes no difference″replied customer. ″What color﹖″ asked the clerk. ″Any″ he responded. ″Size﹖″ ″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasper ated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow t o exchange them.″ 反正我太太明天会来换的 一位先生走进一家商店要买副手套。 “您是要布的还是皮的?”售货员问。

短篇英语笑话10则带翻译

短篇英语笑话10则带翻译 ①Goldfish金鱼 Stan: I won 92 goldfish. Fred: Where are you going to keep them? Stan: In the bathroom 。 Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath? Stan: Blindfold(蒙眼睛)them! =================================================================== 斯丹:我赢了92 条金鱼。 弗雷德:你想在哪儿养它们? 斯丹:浴室。 弗雷德:但是你想洗澡时怎么办? 斯丹:蒙住它们的眼睛! ②The Revenge 欺骗的代价 Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Johnson: "But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!" =================================================================== 老农约翰逊就要死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地对妻子说:“我死后,我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。” 妻子说:“不,在你死后,我不能嫁给任何人。” 约翰逊:“但我希望你这么做。” 妻子:“为什么?” 约翰逊:“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。” ③I think that I'm a chicken 我想我是一只鸡 Psychiatrist: What's your problem? Patient: I think I'm a chicken. Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on? Patient: Ever since I was an egg! =================================================================== 精神病医师:你哪里不舒服? 病人:我认为我是一只鸡。 精神病医师:这种情况从什么时候开始的? 病人:从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。 ④How do I get the gum out我怎么把口香糖取出来 Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keep their ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed up to her and said, "I'm meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum out from my ears?" =================================================================== 当空中小姐给乘客们发口香糖的时候,她解释说口香糖有助于他们防止耳鸣。飞机着陆后,一位乘客跑到这位空中小姐面前,说道:“ 我马上就要见到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖从耳朵里面取出来呢?”

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