趣味英语小故事
1. The Perfect Son.
A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday. 完美儿子
A:我有一个很完美的儿子.
B:他抽烟吗?
A:不抽.
B:他喝威士忌酒吗?
A:不喝.
B:他会不会很晚回家?
A:不会.
B:我想你确实有一个完美儿子. 那他多大了?
A:下个星期三就满6个月了
2. I'm Trying to Stop It
"Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?"
"No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me
went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it."
“孩子，你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵？它感染了吗？”
“没有，老师。可是你昨天说你告诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进，
一个耳朵里出，所以我要把它堵在里面
3. Sorry
“I'm sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .”
“Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!”
“Yes ，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .”
“对不起，夫人，为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。”
“20美元！为什么？不是说好只要4美元。”
“是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四个病人吓跑了。”
4.
Teacher：We all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract. Now，can anyone give me a good example? John：Well ，in the summer the days are long，and in the winter the days are short.
老师：我们都知道热胀冷缩的道理。现在，谁给我举个例子？
约翰：嗯，在夏天天都长，在冬天天都短。
5. Second language
A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice.
Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life.
Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you understand the value of a second language?"
一只母老鼠带着孩子出来散步，突然她看见一只猫正在灌木丛中虎视耽耽。
母老鼠向着猫叫道：“汪，汪，汪”，猫听了非常害怕，拼命跑走了。
母老鼠回过头洋洋自得的对孩子说：“现在你知道外语的重要性了吧。
You're Right
Once Mr Henry went to a small town with high mountains all around it. It was a quiet and cool place and some rich people liked to go there for their holidays. A week later, before Mr Henry left the town, he paid thirty pounds for a parrot. When he came back, he began to teach the bird to speak. He tried his best, but it learned only one sentence,“You're right.”He was disappointed and said to the bird angrily，“How foolish you are!”
“You're right,”said the parrot.
The next day Mr Henry took the bird to the market and wanted to sell it for eighty pounds. Before long a fat man came and looked at the parrot carefully. Then he asked,“How much is it, sir?”
Mr Henry didn't hurry to answer and said,“It's a clever bird, you know. It can s peak and sing.”Then he said to the bird,“Are you really worth eighty pounds, my dear?
“You're right,”said the parrot.
The fat man liked it at once and bought it. When he took it home he asked it a lot of questions, but it could only say,“You are right.”
He felt very sorry for it and said to himself angrily,“Why did I spend eighty pounds on such a foolish bird? What a fool I am!
“You're right, answered the parrot.
Hearing this, the man couldn't help laughing and set it free