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1、Osama Bin Laden, a Canadian, and President Bush were walking down the street when they saw a golden lamp. They rubbed it and a genie came out and said, "I will grant each one a wish that’s 3 together." The Canadian said, "I am a father and my son will be a farmer so I want the soil in Canada to be forever fertile." The genie said the magic words and the wish came true. Osama looked amazed so he wished for a wall around Afghanistan the genie said the magic words and again the wish came true. President Bush said "Genie, tell me more about this wall," the genie said,” It’s 50 feet thick and 500 feet tall so nothing can get in and nothing can get out." President Bush said,” Wow! That’s a big bridge...Fill it with water!!!

拉登,一加拿大人还有布什总统走在大街上看到一盏金色的灯.他们擦了擦灯出现了一个精灵.精灵说:"我要满足你们每人一个愿望总共三个."加拿大人说:"我是个父亲我儿子将成为农夫,因此我想让加拿大的土地永远肥沃."精灵说了咒语愿望实现了.拉登看了很惊奇,他希望有座城墙围绕阿富汗.精灵又说了咒语愿望又实现了.布什总统问:"精灵请告诉我关于这座墙的事情."精灵回答:"墙厚50英尺,高500英尺,因而里面的任何东西出不来外面的任何东西进不去."布什总统说:"哇!那是座大桥耶...注满水!!!"

3、Let me take it down

An elephant said to a mouse ,"no doubt that you are the smallest and most useless thing that I have ever seen ."

"Please, say it again .Let me take it down.”the mouse said ."I will tell a flea what I know."

为我所用

一头大象对一只小老鼠说：“你无疑是我见过的最小、最没用的东西。”

“请再说一遍，让我把它记下来。”老鼠说。“我要讲给我认识的一只跳蚤听。

4、Watering Flower In Rain

Tom: Why do you have that watering can?

Dan: I’m going to water the flowers.

Tom: But it'd raining.

Dan: That’s OK. I'm wearing my raincoat.

雨天浇花

汤姆：你拿喷壶做什么？

丹：我要去浇花。

汤姆：可是，在下雨呀！

丹：没关系，我穿着雨衣呢！

5、Two birls

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

两只鸟

老师：这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？

学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。

老师：请说说看。

学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

6 、he Fish Net

"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"

"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.

鱼网

"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安？" 老师发问道。

"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。

7、The New Teacher

George comes from school on the first of September.

"George how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.

"I didn’t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."

新老师

9月1日，乔治放学回到家里。

"乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？" 妈妈问。

"妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。"

8、A physics Examination

Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.

The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunder rolls?

Nick\'s answer: Because our eyes are before ears.

一次物理考试

在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。

这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？

尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。

Too Fast or Too Slow

A man was driving at 130 miles an hour when a policeman overtook him. "Was I driving too fast, officer?” the man asked.

"NO,” the policeman answered,” You were flying too slow."

太慢或太快

一个男人正在以130英里每小时的速度行驶，当一个警察看见他时，

他问：“我开的太快了吗？警官。”

“不”，警察说，“你飞的太慢了。”

10Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”

“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”

“她是个卖糖果的。”

11 Nest and Hair

My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.

"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.

"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.

"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her . "Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "

Notes:

(1) inform v.告诉

(2) nest n.窝；巢

(3) description n.描述

(4) encourage v.鼓励

(5) resemble v. 相似；类似

鸟窝与头发

我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外的树上垒了个窝。

“是什么鸟呢？”我姐姐问她。

“我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。

“那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”我姐姐鼓励她道。

“哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。”

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A Soldier's Brilliant Idea Mr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business, and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air. He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got on to the plane, he looked for a window seat. He found all of them had already had been taken except for one. There was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one, and Mr. Robinson was surprised that he had not taken the one by the window; but, anyhow, he at once went towards it. When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it. It was written in ink and said, "This seat is preserved for proper load balance, thank you." Mr Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a plane before, but he thought that the plane must be carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked on and found another empty seat, not beside a window, to sit in. Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside the soldier, but they too read the notice and went on, when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful girl hurried into the plane. The soldier, who was watching the passengers coming in, quickly took the notice off the seat beside himself and in this way succeededin having the company of the girl during the whole trip. 英语幽默：士兵坐飞机有美女陪伴的高招由于生意方面的事，罗宾逊先生得出趟门。因为有点紧急，他决定坐飞机。乘机旅行时，他喜欢靠窗坐，故而一登机，他就寻找一个靠窗的座位。他发现只有一个靠窗的座位还空着。在那空座位边坐着一名士兵。令罗宾逊先生纳闷的是，这位士兵没有坐靠窗的位置。罗宾逊先生不管那些，他马上径直朝那个空座位走去。然而，等到了那儿，他看见座位上有则启事，是用钢笔写的：“为保持装载平衡，特预设该位置，谢谢合作。”罗宾逊先生还从来没有在飞机上见过如此不同寻常的启事。不过，他想飞机上一定装了什么特别重的物品，于是他找了个不靠窗的位置。又有两三个乘客试图坐在那个士兵旁的靠窗座位上，他们看到那则启事就走开了。当快满座时，一位非常美丽的姑娘匆匆走进机舱。一直在注意进舱旅客的那个士兵赶紧拿掉他旁边空座位上的启事。士兵用这种办法，成功地找到了一位姑娘一路作伴。

70个初中英语作文常用句型

70个初中英语作文常用句型 1. allow sb to do sth 允许某人去做某事(后接动词不定式) My father allowed me to go out for a walk after finishing my homework. 2. asked sb (not) to do sth 叫某人做事某事(叫某人不要去做某事) My father asked me to study hard. He asked me not to swim alone. be asked to do sth 被叫去做某事/被邀请去做某事 I was asked to have a dinner with them yesterday. 3. be afraid to do sth 害怕做某事 She is afraid to ask me questions. 4. be afaid of doing sth 害怕做某事 I am afraid of going out at night. 5. be afaid of sth 害怕某物 He is afraid of snakes. 6. be amazed to do sth 对做某事感到惊讶 He was amazed to meet the girl there. be amazed at sth 对某事感到惊讶 they were amazed at the news. 7. be busy doing/with sth 忙于做某事(常考) I was busy washing my car at that time. 那时候我正忙于清洗我的车子。 I am busy with my work. 8. becoming/going/leaving/fiying/moving/dying(某些位移动词用进行时态时表将来) the bus is coming/the dog is dying. 9. be excited to do sth 对做……感到兴奋 Jacky was excited to travel there by plane. be excited at sth Lily was excited at his words. be excited about doing sth he was excited about passing the exam without going overing books. 10. be frightened to do sth 害怕去做某事 Sam is frightened to ride a horse. 11. be glad/happy to do sth 高兴去做某事 She is happy to clean theblackboard with me. be pleased to do sth高兴做某事

英语幽默小故事10篇

英语幽默小故事10篇 Midway Tactics Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue. The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!" The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!" The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE". 中间战术三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!” 左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”

中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。 Very Pleased to Meet You During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers. One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months. Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England. Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys." "Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said. "Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister." "I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"

[初中叙事英语作文开头] 叙事的英语作文

竭诚为您提供优质的服务，优质的文档，谢谢阅读/双击去除 [初中叙事英语作文开头] 叙事的英语作文叙事作文也是英语作文中常见的一种，而作文开头部分可以怎样写呢?下面是小编整理的一些关于初中叙事英语作文开头的相关资料,供你参考。初中叙事英语作文开头精选 1.oneofthehottesttopicsmanypeopletalkaboutnowis…现在许多人讨论的热门话题之一是…… 2.Nowpeoplebecomeincreasinglyawareofthenecessityof

…现在人们日益意识到……的必要性。 3.Noissueismoreimportantnowthantheonethat…,whichis commonlyheldbymostpeople.大多数人普遍认为……，而现在没有什么比这更重要的问题了。 4.Inspiteofgreatprogressmadeinthefieldof…,…remainbasicallyunchanged.虽然在……领域已取得了巨大的进步，但……仍然基本未变。 5.Independencehasbecomeahottopicamongpeople,especia llyamongtheyoung,andheateddebatesarerightontheirway .(独立)在人们中间，尤其是在年轻人中间，是个热门话题，热烈的讨论即将来临。

6.Nowadays,(overpopulationhasbecomeaproblemwehaveto face.如今，(人口过剩)已成为我们不得不面对的问题了。 7.Ithasbeentakenforgrantedthat…人们想当然地认为…… 8.manypeopleinsistthat…(shoulddo…很多人坚持认为…… 初中叙事英语作文开头推荐 1.everyoneisawareofthehorriblefact:…每个人都会注意到这样一个可怕的事实： 2.Itsdifficulttoimaginenowhowwedidsomethingwithout …现在很难设想我们是如何做某事而没有……

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初中英语作文万能句型总结，让你英语作文不用烦现在学生不管是中考、期末考、月考……还是什么大大小小的考试，英语作文是必考项，重要性不言而喻。当然，英语作文也是让大多数学生最头疼的事情。提高英语写作能力不是一蹴而就的，但是能把英语作文变成单词填空的话，那会大大的节省时间和精力，以小的投入获取大回报!!这种方法虽然不可取，但是在突击作文提分、面对的难写的作文时候很有可能达到事半功倍的效果! 下面这些英语作文万能句子，是厚学小编特地为大家整理的，掌握了这些，你的英语作文不在忧伤。一、开头万能句型 1、互联网(可替换为手机)已在我们的生活中扮演着越来越重要的角色。它给我们带来了许多好处，但也产生了一些严重的问题。 Internet has been playing an increasingly important role in our day-to-day life. It has brought a lot of benefits but has created some serious problems as well。 2、如今，(人口过剩)已成为我们不得不面对的问题了。 Nowadays，(overpopulation) has become a problem we have to face。 3、随着科技的发展，越来越多的人认为… With the development of science and technology，more and more people believe that… 二、结尾万能句型 1.总而言之，整个社会应该密切关注……这个问题。只有这样，我们才能在将来…… In a word, the whole society should pay close attention to the problem of ______.Only in this way can ______in the future。 2.但是，……和……都有它们各自的优势(好处)。例如，……，而……然而，把这两者相比较，我更倾向于(喜欢)…… But ______and ______have their own advantages.For example, _____, while_____.Comparing this with that, however, I prefer to______。 3.就我个人而言，我相信……，因此，我坚信美好的未来正等着我们。因为……

初中英语作文开头结尾万能套用精选

初中英语作文开头结尾万能套用精选 1.人们对待吸毒的态度因人而异.There are different opinions among people as to … 2.关于……，人们的观点大不相同. Different people hold differentattitudes toward (failure).对(失败)人们的态度各不相同。 3. Taking all these factors into consideration, we naturally come tothe conclusion that…把所有这些因素加以考虑,我们自然会得出结论…… 4. Taking into account all these factors, we may reasonably come tothe conclusion that …考虑所有这些因素,我们可能会得出合理的结论……Hence/Therefore, we’d better come to the conclusion that …因此,我们最好得出这样的结论…… 5. There is no doubt that (job-hopping) has its drawbacks as well asmerits.毫无疑问,跳槽有优点也有缺点. 初中英语作文开头结尾万能套用推荐 1. Although it is generally agreed that…, it is unlikely to be truethat …虽然大家普遍认同……，但……不大可能是正确的。 2.Although the (com mon(beliefis that ….A recent (discovery(showsthat …虽然一般的观点认为……，但最近的发现表明…… 3. Although people all agree that…, it should be noted that…虽然人们都一致认为……，但应指出的是…… 4. For years (hard working has been regarded as…, but things arequite different nowadays.多少年来，刻苦被认为是……，但近来情况却起了变化。 5.For years …had been viewed as ….But people are taking a fresh look at it now.许多年来，……一直被认为是……。但人们现在正以崭新的视角重新审视。