Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs

I don't like myself, I'm crazy about myself.Mae West

There are only 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't.unknown

People who like this sort of thing will find this the sort of thing they like.Abraham Lincoln.

Base eight is just like base ten really, if you're missing two fingers.Tom Lehrer

I love mankind. It's people I can't stand.Charles Monroe Schultz

As long as algebra is taught in school, there will be prayer in school.Cokie Roberts

An acquaintance is someone we know well enough to borrow from but not enough to lend to. Ambrose Bierce

I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. George Carlin.

Martin's acting is so inept that even his impersonation of a lush seems unconvincing. Harry Medved on Dean Martin

I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.George Burns

Michael Chang has all the fire and passion of a public service announcement, so much so that he makes Pete Sampras appear fascinating.Alex Ramsey.

The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his. General George Patton

If you're gonna be late, then be late and not just 2 minutes - make it an hour and enjoy your breakfast.David Brent

Of course I have played outdoor games. I once played dominoes in an open air cafe in Paris. Oscar Wilde.

I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.Dennis Miller

Which painting in the National Gallery would I save if there was a fire? The one nearest the door of course. George Bernard Shaw

Never do today that which will become someone else's responsibility tomorrow.David Brent

Show me a good loser and I'll show you a LOSER!David Brent

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and

statistics.Benjamin Disraeli

I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.Samuel Goldwyn

Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read.Frank Zappa.

Don't talk to me about Naval tradition! It's nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash.Winston Churchill

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.Woody Allen

Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best.Oscar Wilde

The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity. Patrick Murray.

I may be paralyzed from the waist down, but unlike Gray Davis, I'm not paralyzed from the neck https://www.360docs.net/doc/b910615625.html,rry Flynt

A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done. Fred Allen.

All animals are equal but some are more equal than others.George Orwell

Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.Groucho Marx

Some people say there is a God; others say there is no God. The truth probably lies somewhere in between.W.B. Yeats

The first ninety minutes of a football match are the most important. Bobby Robson.

I don't know what effect these men will have upon the enemy, but, by God, they terrify me.Duke of Wellington

That's the Irish people all over - they treat a joke as a serious thing, and a serious thing as a joke.Sean O'Casey

Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternatives.Maurice ChevalierOn 77th birthday.

Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.G.W. Hegel.

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. Red Buttons.

I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.Emo Philips

If at first you don't succeed... So much for skydiving. Henry Youngman.

I hate music, especially when it's played.Jimmy Durante.

Love may be blind, but it can sure find its way around in the

dark!Author Unknown

Children nowadays are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannise their teachers.Socrates

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.Albert Einstein

I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people. Dan Quayle

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.H. L. Mencken

There is one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says yes, you know he is crooked.Groucho Marx

It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.Mae West

You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back. William D. Tammeus.

There is only one difference between a madman and me. The madman

thinks he is sane. I know I am mad.Salvador Dali

I drink therefore I am.W.C. Fields

If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around

your neck?Linda Ellerbee

Sarah Brightman couldn't act scared on the New York subway at 4

o'clock in the morning.Joel Segal.

The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels.

I must remember to take enough toilet paper next time.Bob Monkhouse.

My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, You're tearing up the grass. We're not

raising grass, Dad would reply. We're raising boys. Harmon Killebrew.

Before software can be reusable it first has to be usable.Ralph Johnson

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to

reality.Albert Einstein

If you can keep your head when all around you have lost theirs, then you probably haven't understood the seriousness of the

situation.David Brent

Id luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair.Bette Davis

Sure, luck means a lot in football. Not having a good quarterback is bad luck. Don Schula.

Before software can be reusable it first has to be usable.Ralph Johnson

In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.Oscar Wilde

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. Rich Cook.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.Ellen DeGeneres

If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.Edsger Dijkstra

Spielberg isn't a filmmaker, he's a confectioner. Alex Cox on Steven Spielberg

Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire PR officers.Daniel J. Boorstin.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.Spike Milligan

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.Bob Hope.

Abstract art is the product of the untalented, sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.Al Capp.

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.George Bernard Shaw

Someone told me that each equation I included in the book would halve the salesStephen Hawking.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.Rita Rudner.

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin. Jay Leno.

Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872 .

It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. Phyllis Diller.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. WC Fields.

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.Mark Twain

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.Don Marquis

For your information, I would like to ask a question.Samuel Goldwyn

Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about

it.Charles D. Warner

I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.Groucho Marx.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard https://www.360docs.net/doc/b910615625.html,urence J. Peter

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.Henry A. Kissinger

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.Woody Allen

The report of my death was an exaggeration. Mark Twain

Love your enemies. It'll make 'em crazy.

驾驶证考试网https://www.360docs.net/doc/b910615625.html,/km4/ks/金手指驾驶员考试2016科目四

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof, where nobody can retrieve it.George Carlin

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work, I want to achieve it through not dying. Woody Allen

I like my coffee like I like my women. Covered in beeeees!Eddie Izzard

I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay?Denis Leary

I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.Groucho Marx

Nooo! You don't have the Nottingham Twang!Eddie Izzard

So my choice is 'Or Death?' Eddie Izzard

Pacifism is a nice idea but it can get you killed. We're not there yet. Evolution is slow, small pox is fast.George Carlin

There's no way to know for sure without finding out what a "kg" is, and my belief, as an American, is that if I have to start understanding the metric system, then the terrorists have won.Dave Barry

And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking money to him. I said 'Do you earn a living doing that?' He said 'Yes, this my livelihood.'Tommy Cooper

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.Spike Milligan

I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now— I'm booked.George Burns

You silly twisted boy.Spike Milligan

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.Woody Allen

I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of forty-seven-year-olds who tried to learn snowboarding.Dave Barry

那一刻我感受到了幸福_初中作文

那一刻我感受到了幸福本文是关于初中作文的那一刻我感受到了幸福，感谢您的阅读！每个人民的心中都有一粒幸福的种子，当它拥有了雨水的滋润和阳光的沐浴，它就会绽放出最美丽的姿态。那一刻，我们都能够闻到幸福的芬芳，我们都能够感受到幸福的存在。在寒假期间，我偶然在授索电视频道，发现(百家讲坛)栏目中大学教授正在解密幸福，顿然引起我的好奇心，我放下了手中的遥控器，静静地坐在电视前，注视着频道上的每一个字，甚至用笔急速记在了笔记本上。我还记得，那位大学教授讲到了一个故事：一位母亲被公司升职到外国工作，这位母亲虽然十分高兴，但却又十分无奈，因为她的儿子马上要面临中考了，她不能撇下儿子迎接中考的挑战，于是她决定拒绝这了份高薪的工作，当有人问她为什么放弃这么好的机会时，她却毫无遗憾地说，纵然我能给予儿子最贵的礼物，优异的生活环境，但我却无当给予他关键时刻的那份呵护与关爱，或许以后的一切会证明我的选择是正确的。听完这样一段故事，我心中有种说不出的感觉，刹那间，我仿拂感觉那身边正在包饺子的妈妈，屋里正在睡觉的爸爸，桌前正在看小说的妹妹给我带来了一种温馨，幸福感觉。正如教授所说的那种解密幸福。就要选择一个明确的目标，确定自已追求的是什么，或许那时我还不能完全诠释幸福。当幸福悄悄向我走来时，我已慢慢明白，懂得珍惜了。那一天的那一刻对我来说太重要了，原本以为出差在外的父母早已忘了我的生日，只有妹妹整日算着日子。我在耳边唠叨个不停，没想到当日我失落地回到家中时，以为心中并不在乎生日，可是眼前的一切，让我心中涌现的喜悦，脸上露出的微笑证明我是在乎的。

爸爸唱的英文生日快乐歌虽然不是很动听，但爸爸对我的那份爱我听得很清楚，妈妈为我做的长寿面，我细细的品尝，吃出了爱的味道。妹妹急忙让我许下三个愿望，嘴里不停的唠叨：我知道你的三个愿望是什么?我问：为什么呀!我们是一家人，心连心呀!她高兴的说。那一刻我才真正解开幸福的密码，感受到了真正的幸福，以前我无法理解幸福，即使身边有够多的幸福也不懂得欣赏，不懂得珍惜，只想拥有更好更贵的，其实幸福比物质更珍贵。那一刻的幸福就是爱的升华，许多时候能让我们感悟幸福不是名利，物质。而是在血管里涌动着的，漫过心底的爱。也许每一个人生的那一刻，就是我们幸运的降临在一个温馨的家庭中，而不是降临在孤独的角落里。家的感觉就是幸福的感觉，幸福一直都存在于我们的身边!

太阳的话读后感

太阳的话读后感本文是关于读后感的，仅供参考，如果觉得很不错，欢迎点评和分享。太阳的话读后感（一）四年级的一篇诗歌《太阳的话》，文章比较简单明了，这节课严老师在指导小组合作的方法切实可行，如在小组读文的时候，老师强调：你给他提的建议要让他马上能得到提高。我想我们在教学生时就是要具体告诉他怎样做到最好，说话要到位。本节课学生在仿说诗歌和仿写诗歌时，学生们展示了较高的运用语言能力。严老师自己说讲完课后，知道自己在讲课时出现了诸多语病，如不能说“ 读出你的感受和感情” 。可以说“ 读出你的感受” 或者“ 有感情的读一读” 。总体来说，这是一节成功的课。解读一篇文章，是探讨生活；用动听的语言引导别人，是一种艺术。太阳的话读后感（二）在《太阳的话》这首诗中，诗人以拟人的手法，赋予太阳人的语言与思想，展示了太阳渴望走进小屋，打开人们关闭的心灵，让人们享受亮光、温暖、花束、香气和露水，享受太阳带来的欢乐和美好。召唤人们敞开心扉迎接光明，促使人们树立起积极乐观的信念。生活，一个普普通通的词，热爱生活，一个最简单的道理，但是谁也没有真正理解过这个词，生活是由几千几万个小事构成的，做好事是生活，受批评是生活，同情一个人还是生活，生活不一定要干出

大事，有什么壮举，平凡人就要过平凡的生活。什么是热爱生活，是想着今天赚多少钱去吃喝玩儿乐吗？是想着怎样做自己才不吃亏吗？还是想着怎么样才能赢的上司的欢心吗？都不是，热爱生活是信任自己，信任他人，把每一件为大家着想的事放在心上，活的有价值。整天勾心斗角，疑心重重，问心有愧，这样不如放弃生活。一个人只是躯壳在装样子，毫无意义可言，这样的的生活何趣之有？遇到困难，要去面对，不能逃避问题，躲避生活，贝壳之所以玲珑剔透，是因为它经过浪花的淘洗，松柏之所以苍翠挺拔，是因为它受过风雨的考验。生活就像一把花伞，只要你热爱它，没有解决不了的问题，它总会转到精彩的那一面。热爱生活吧，它将让你的人生五颜六色！太阳的话读后感（三）这首现代诗，作者用了第一人称将自己当成太阳来描写。淋漓尽致地描绘出了太阳渴望走进小屋，渴望走进人们心灵的感想。从第一小节中的两个“打开”，突显了太阳走进人们心灵的渴望。“让我进去，让我进去”这两次重复的短句，就形象地展现了太阳急切的心情。“我带着……我带着……”四个“我带着”用了排比的手法。花束，香气，温暖，亮光，温暖，露水，这一连串美好的事物，再加上形容词：金黄的，林间的，满身的。就让人有着对美好事物的憧憬和对生活的希望和生机。“让你的眼看见我的到来”可以看出太阳希望人闪能看到希望和光芒。这首诗表达了太阳渴望将希望和阳光洒满人们心

新视野大学英语(第二)第一册课后翻译原题及答案

Book 1 课后翻译原题及答案 Unit1 1.对于网络课程，学生不仅可以选择何时何地学习，在回答问题之前他们还可以有时间思考答案。 Not only can students choose when and where to learn for an online course, but they can also take time to think through answers before making a reply. 2.学习的想法使她非常兴奋，而他认为网上学习毫无意义和用处。 She is excited by the idea of online learning while be considers it meaningless and useless. 3.与以英语为母语的人交谈是非常有益的体验，从中我们能学到许多东西。 Communicating with native English speakers is a very rewarding experience from which we can learn a lot. 4. 如今，越来越多的人可以利用互联网查找他们需要的信息。 Today, more and more people have access to the Internet through which they look for the information they need. 5. 他要她放弃工作在家照顾孩子，但是她觉得这个要求太过分了。He wants her to give up working and stay home to look after the children. She feels, however, that this is too much for her. 6.既然我们已经学完这门课程，就应该多做些复习。 Now that we have finished the course, we shall start doing more revision work. 1. 我永远都不会忘记那位老师，是他告诉我学外语是有趣的、有价值的。如果没有他，我的英语说得不会像现在这样好。I'll never forget the teacher who showed me that learning a foreign language could be fun and rewarding. Were it not for him, I would not be able to speak English as well as I do now. 2 没有任何其他语言能像英语那样让你感受到多姿多彩的世界文化。有了过硬的英语知识，你就可以体验奇妙的文化之旅.No other language lets you experience the cultures of the world like English. With a strong knowledge of the English language, you can have wonderful cultural adventures. 3. 写作不仅仅要写老师布置的话题，而且要写自己感兴趣的东西，例如，给朋友写电子邮件。 Instead of only writing compositions about the subjects that your teacher has given you, do something enjoyable, like writing emails to a friend. 4. 远程教学课程是指授课者与学生通过计算机通信技术进行交流的课程。Distance learning courses are courses in which the instructor communicates with students using computer technology. 5. 英语不但是世界上最有用的语言，也是世界上最易学、易用的语言之一。English is not only the most useful language in the world, but it is also one of the easiest languages to learn and to use. 6远程教学课程在时间安排上给予学生更多的自由，但与其他课程比，这些课程要求学生有更强的自律能力。Distance learning courses give students greater freedom of time management, but these classes require more self-discipline than other classes. Unit2 1.当她就要关掉音乐时，她父亲冲进她的房间，朝着她喊道：“难道你就不能把音乐关小一点？” As she was about to turn off the music, her father burst into he room and shouted at her, “Can’t you turn down the music a little bit?" 2.酒吧老板一直在看那个姑娘跳舞，一面却假装没有看。 The owner of the bar kept watching the girl dancing while pretending not to. 3.桑迪如此喜欢摇滚音乐以至不顾父亲的屏蔽内容而将音量放大。 Rock music appealed to Sandy so much that she turned it up, paying no attention to her father’s objection. 4.像往常一样，当他的父母不喜欢他的穿着时，便开始唠叨他。 As usual, when his parents don’t like what he wears, they start bugging him. 5.在会上，他们讨论了如何保持师生间的沟通渠道畅通。 At the meeting they discussed how to keep the lines of communication open between teachers and students. 6.一想到这些年幼的男孩和女孩被父母强迫沿街讨钱我就生气。It makes my blood boil to think of these young boys and girls who are forced by their parents to beg for money along the streets. 1. 我认为那些在镇上游手好闲、在身上又文身又穿洞的青少年是在表达他们的个性。I suppose teenagers walking around town with tattoos and piercings all over their bodies are expressing themselves. 2. 因特网提供了一种更快捷的方式，让我们与全球的新老客户取得联系，并保持沟通渠道畅通无阻。The Internet gives us a faster way to reach new and existing customers around the world and to keep the lines of communication widely open. 3. 父母与自己十多岁的孩子的沟通问题不仅仅在于“代沟”，而且还在于双方都不完全理解对方的思想。The problem of communication between parents and their teenage children does not only lie in the "generation gap", but also in the fact that neither side fully understands the ideas of the other side.

关于我的幸福作文八篇汇总

关于我的幸福作文八篇汇总幸福在每个人的心中都不一样。在饥饿者的心中，幸福就是一碗香喷喷的米饭；在果农的心中，幸福就是望着果实慢慢成熟；在旅行者的心中，幸福就是游遍世界上的好山好水。而在我的心中，幸福就是每天快快乐乐，无忧无虑；幸福就是朋友之间互相帮助，互相关心；幸福就是在我生病时，母亲彻夜细心的照顾我。幸福在世间上的每个角落都可以发现，只是需要你用心去感受而已。记得有一次，我早上出门走得太匆忙了，忘记带昨天晚上准备好的钢笔。老师说了：“今天有写字课，必须要用钢笔写字，不能用水笔。”我只好到学校向同学借了。当我来到学校向我同桌借时，他却说：“我已经借别人了，你向别人借吧！”我又向后面的同学借，可他们总是找各种借口说：“我只带了一枝。”问了三四个人，都没有借到，而且还碰了一鼻子灰。正当我急的像热锅上的蚂蚁团团转时，她递给了我一枝钢笔，微笑的对我说：“拿去用吧！”我顿时感到自己是多么幸福！在我最困难的时候，当别人都不愿意帮助我的时候，她向我伸出了援手。幸福也是无时无刻都在身旁。当我生病的时候，高烧持续不退时，是妈妈在旁边细心

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