短篇英语美文欣赏:Why Failure Can Be Your Friend

短篇英语美文欣赏:Why Failure Can Be Your Friend
短篇英语美文欣赏:Why Failure Can Be Your Friend

短篇英语美文欣赏:Why Failure Can Be Y our Friend

--- 本文来之韦博国际英语

I believe it is important to separate good failures from bad failures. Goodfail ures happen when, even though you made the correct decision, you still lost.Bad failures happen b eca use you made bad decisions, or worse, didn’t make adecision at all. Although the two feel the same, they have a completelydifferent long-term impact.

I’m a novice poker player. One of the first things I learned was that therewere good wins and bad wins. Good wins were because you had a sound strategy ofbetting where the odds were in your favor. Bad wins happened when you just gotlucky. Going all-in on a 2-7 off-suit might win the hand. But it doesn’t meanyou’re a good poker player.

Good Failures

Mentally separating good failures from bad failures takes work. Poker is asimple game where the laws of probability are cleanly defined. Real life is alot messier. It takes more effort to decide which failures were because of a baddecision and which were just the unintended side-effects of the best choiceavailable.

Although it can be difficult to separate the two, there are benefits tomaking two piles instead of just one. By separating the two types of failures,it is easier to persevere through good failures. It may hurt to have yourBusiness proposal shut down for the fifteenth time, but i t isn’t necessarily abad failure.

By separating the two, you can also avoid more bad failures. If you failbecause of laziness, indecision or poor planning, you can quickly correct thosein

the future. Knowing the difference between good and bad failures keeps youfrom repeating stupid mistakes.

Types of Good Failures

I’ve found that there are several categories of good failures. These arethe kinds of failures you might actually seek out. Since they come from good,not bad, decisions, they are the best way to fail.

1. High Upside, Low Downside

There are many areas of life where the upside is far greater than thedownside. When I write an article, it takes about 90 minutes of work. If nobodycomments or responds to that post, then I’ve just wasted 90 minutes.

However, if the article becomes popular, it can bring in thousands ofvisitors to my website. Those thousands of visitors translate into new readerswho can get value from the website. In addition, the extra traffic often resultsin a higher monthly income for me.

Writing blog entries is an example where failure is cheap and winning canbe huge. I’d gladly take a dozen or two dozen failures for a big hit. A postthat doesn’t get attention is a good failure.

2. Breaking Through Your Limits

The only way you can know your limits are to go past them. OccasionallyI’ve committed myself to more work than I can handle. The result is stress and,in extreme cases, complete burnout. Doing more than you can handle on a regularbasis is a recipe for a nervous breakdown.

However, if you don’t test those limits and occasionally go past them, youcan never improve. You’ll always go slightly below your capacity, never reachingyour possible potential. I don’t enjoy an exhausting schedule, but occasionallyfacing one ensures my productivity muscles stay strong.

3. Embarrassment and Smart Risk-T aking

There are some situations where failures and successes can’t be separated.There is no action that will guarantee you only get success. In these cases, itcan be useful to ignore the losses since the wins will make up for it.

Public Speaking is a great example. Any chance you get to speak in publicruns you the risk of embarrassment. You might say something stupid. The audiencemight not like your speech. But if you don’t face those failures, it’simpossible to deliver a fantastic speech.

4. Staying Inside Your Comfort Zone

The only way to have a bad failure is to stay put. If you are constantlyexperimenting and pushing beyond your daily routine, any result is a goodresult. Avoiding the things that scare you doesn’t make you safe, it makes youweaker.

Over a year ago I took dance classes. For a self-proclaimed geek, this wasdefinitely a step outside my comfort zone. I loved the class. Even though it wasoutside of my comfort zone, I had a great time and learned something valuable.This wasn’t a failure, but it just as easily could have been. It’s bette r todiscourage laziness than occasionally stumbling.

5. T aking on T oo Big a Challenge

More than a few times I’ve set goals that were nearly impossible toaccomplish. I didn’t have enough time to reach the deadline and I had no ideawhat I was doing. Although setting extremely difficult challenges results in alot of failures, it keeps you sharp.

The ideal challenge level is where success is possible, but only if youwork incredibly hard. Unfortunately, finding this sweet spot means you’ll end upmaking some goals too hard and others too easy. If you never fail at a bigchallenge it probably means most of your goals have been set too easy.

Just as there are good and bad failures, there are good and bad wins. I’drather have a good failure than a bad win. A bad win might feel nice in theshort term, but it is damaging over the big picture.

Do you have a personal example of a good failure? Please share it in thecomments below.

短篇英语美文欣赏:Why Failure Can Be Y our Friend

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Friends or 'Enemies?' When I was younger, my Dad used to tell me: "Boys don't want to be your friend." He then left the rest to my imagination. At the time, I didn't agree. I thought: I can crack a good joke, I know how to shoot a hoop, and I'm a cheerful person (but not in an annoying way). What kind of boy wouldn't want to be around that kind of girl? Turns out, my Dad was right. Not to be all "Samantha Brick" about it, but in my experience, single, heterosexual men aren't actively looking for an exclusively platonic relationship with a woman they find sexually attractive. This of course is not a revolutionary concept. In fact, it seems pretty natural to me. Now, I will be the first to say that it is really and truly the most wonderful thing in the world if the attraction is mutual. But the Powers That Be seem to like to play these complicated little mating games with humans where the guy we want to re-enact scenes from 9? Weeks with sees our attractiveness level as akin to that of a discarded dishcloth, and the most physical we could see ourselves being with the guy who actually likes us is a game of ping pong over an especially long table. All of which means that someone usually ends up getting rejected. I'm sure I'm not alone when I say I have struggled with the scenario where I am not interested in a man romantically, but I want to keep him as a friend because he is funny and I enjoy his company, or he has shown himself to be that rare specimen known as "a nice, genuine person, " or he simply doesn't mention his therapist in every other sentence. Rather than string him along and give him hope, I feel compelled to somehow communicate to him sooner rather than later that we'll just be staying friends, nothing more. Otherwise, I think I am being unfair to him. Why should he waste his romantic stamina on me when there are loads of other single women out there who might fall instantly in love with him? The thing is, it can sometimes be tricky to reject a man and keep him as a friend. If the operation is not executed carefully, you may end up creating a "menemy." It requires a certain amount of skill to be able to turn down a man's sexual advances or romantic gestures and then get him to agree to meet you for blueberry pancakes the following weekend and chat about the latest Woody Allen film. Some men aren't satisfied with just that. I'm not clear why. What's so bad about friendship? Everyone needs buddies. But I've seen men react poorly or simply fall off the face of the earth. I get it -- their feelings are hurt. None of us likes getting rejected. But in my experience, some men find it especially soul-crushing. I am only bringing all of this up because I recently had to go through this scenario again. I had spent some time cultivating a friendship with a man who, in my defense, I thought was gay. So I didn't see the harm in him buying me the occasional falafel, or accepting an invitation to see a film with him. Isn't that what friends are for? But a mutual friend shed light on his sexual orientation (straight) and suggested that his intentions -- and attentions -- weren't platonic. He had never "made the moves" but now it was all crystal clear -- that explains the way he had looked at me that time the tahini sauce dribbled down my chin! Since he had clearly been too timid to express his feelings, I thought I would be clever this time and subtly mention the dates I had been going on, focusing on the one guy I was kind of keen on, so that he would know that I was "unavailable" for heavy petting and those sorts of activities, but that I was available for things like roller skating, falafel-eating and shooting the breeze. Doesn't that sound nice? That way, he would known not to try to lean in for a kiss, and I wouldn't have to pull the Stevie Wonder dance and dodge him went he went for it. It was like pre-rejection, yet I was sparing his feelings because he didn't even have to put himself out there! I really thought I was being brilliant. It backfired, of course. Said man ended up sending me an email rant accusing me of being insensitive by talking about other men when he had "feelings for me." As if I am psychic, by the way, just because I am a woman! How was I supposed to know that? I think in his mind we were dating. In my mind, he was my new gay BFF. In the end, I got mad at him for getting mad at me, and now the friendship has ended. And I have created yet another "menemy." Look, I have also tried the direct thing: "I really like you, but only as a friend, " but you can only do that when the guy has made his intentions clear, and in my experience, they either cope okay (though rarely do I feel much enthusiasm for friendship after that), or they really don't cope well. I also tried the thing where you make them think they are rejecting you, but it gets quite confusing and only works if the guy isn't very sharp, and why would I -- or you -- be hanging out with someone not that sharp in the first place? As we all remember, Billy Crystal's character says men and women can't be friends in When Harry Met Sally because the sex stuff gets in the way. I do have single, male, heterosexual friends with whom I have an easy, non-romantic rapport, but I honestly don't know if they would walk away if I was sprawled naked on a bed calling out to them. I may not be everybody's cup of tea, but sometimes, I wonder if they wonder. And they may wonder if I wonder. If so, I hope they'll keep it to

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