英语搞笑话剧 面试

导演：hi, do u know me? What？You don’t know who I am? ok ok , I will give u some clues. Look, who is he？（冯小刚）o, yes, now ,u know who am I . what! U still don’t know。O my god, it’s so obvious who am I . (生气的样子) 秘书在一旁扇风一边说

秘书: clam down, clam down, my dear director, you are the most famous , handsome, talented director. You are a genius in my heart. 导演：（开心的点头）yes of course. ok, let me introduce myself, I am feng da gang , today I will direct a new film and I will select someone who get the chance in my film. Ok, don’t speak more, now let’s begin .

秘书：（站直）Number one, let’s welcome

范小冰：（风情万种，妖娆妩媚的走到舞台中间，定格姿势，给观众飞吻）hello, I am fan xiao bing, what? You say I am look like fan bingbing. (hehehehe笑)thank you . I know I am very beautiful, charming and sexy(走向导演) oh, honey, dear director. I love you so much.(导演高兴) when I was young, I want to be a actress.

导演：do you have some talent ?

范小冰：just open your eyes as big as you can, there will be a fantastic dance show for u.(打个响指) come some music(第八套广播体操音乐响起，之后音乐迅速变成芭蕾音乐) （跳完，面向观众鞠躬）thank you .(面向导演)，honey，is it a wonderful performance?

导演:(目瞪口呆状)

范小冰：（在甲眼前晃手）oh, darling, are u ok?

导演：my god, have u use some stimulant drugs this morning, u make my nerves nervous. get out

范小冰: oh no sweet, you break my heart(掩面离去)

秘书：next one.

翁翁：oh , dear audiences, I miss you guys so much. (和观众使劲挥手疯狂状态，随即想到什么) oh, I am a fair lady，I am very grace. (小莲花步走向导演)nice to meet u, director.

导演（与之握手）nice to meet u too, so introduce yourself.

翁翁：I’m celine wengweng, I am very international. You know ,I don’t have too many achievements, I just won five Grammy awards, 7 American Music Awards, 12 World Music Awards and a Oscar award…(hehehehe) in the future，I will get.

导演: ok, stop. Time is limited, just begin

翁翁：ok , I will use a song to conquer u(一首歌) just enjoy it. (唱歌时间)

导演：stop, stop(翁翁不理，导演和秘书一起捂着耳朵)

翁翁：is it wonderful？

导演不语，秘书next one

嬷嬷：（对着翁翁的背影沉思）to be or not to be , that is a question. To sing or not to sing , that is a question too (走到导演面前牵起他

的手做亲吻状) I am glad to see u , my dear lord.

导演（娇羞状）oh it’s really a big surprise, so, what’s your name? 嬷嬷：my name? do you know xu zhimo, 导演点头，I am his father’s brother’s cousin’s granddaughter xu momo .

导演：I don’t care who u are, show me your talent.

嬷嬷：I have had found my best love, but I didn’t treasure her. When I lost her, I regret. It’s the most pain in the world. If God can give me another chance, I will say three words to her I love u （嘤嘤的哭）

导演：oh, I can’t stand, show u the door

嬷嬷：（转身离开，继续台词）if there is a time limit, I hope it’s 100years

导演：I am very professional director, how to find this unprofessional actor. Next one

秘书: my dear director , there is no next one.

导演：what ,no one comes here except they three, o, god

秘书：What do u think about me?(摆出最风情万种的姿势)

导演：you…秘书点头

导演：ai, give u a chance

秘书：（模特表演时间）the most handsome director, I know you have a good taste. So ,do u want to say something?

导演：let the three come here

范小冰：honey , u like my dance ,right?

导演：en ,u know my film is very elegant, through your performs I found some potential, so , I will give u the chance

众人：really? You really have a good taste

导演：I just worried if I don’t want you, who will want u. do u have confidence

众人：yes we do （齐跳小苹果）