托福独立写作的审题原则和布局(上)

托福独立写作的审题原则和布局(上)
托福独立写作的审题原则和布局(上)

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新托福写作考试的第2部分为独立写作,要求考生在30分钟内完成一篇字数在300字左右的议论文。而朗阁海外考试研究中心的专家们根据对ETS最新的评分标准的解读,发现阅卷者评判考生的文章遵循的原则是:“Readers should focus on what the examinee does well”。这就意味着整个评分过程是考察考生表现出优点的过程,而并非对考生的文章吹毛求疵的过程。因此,即使是一篇满分的文章,也是允许考生有少量错误的。在本文中,笔者将就独立写作部分的审题原则以及如何进行观点筛选作一简单说明。

一、字数

对于独立写作的字数要求,官方的说法是:“An effective response is typically about 300 words long. If you write fewer than 300 words, you may still receive a top score, but experience has shown that shorter responses typically do not demonstrate the development of ideas needed to earn a score of 5.”。可见,若想得到高分,考生最好能将文章写到300字以上,虽然有些文章字数不足但仍可得到满分,但是毕竟这种情况比较罕见,要充分对于考题展开论述,从而有利地支持文章观点,充足的字数是必须的。

二、题目的解读

独立写作最近几年在中国大陆地区的考题基本上是以支持/反对型为主的,理论上来说考生同意或者反对题目的表述,然后展开进一步论证都是可以的,但是朗阁海外考试研究中心的专家们发现有些考题并非考生可以“随心所欲”的“自由发挥”,比如当题目中包括了一些“绝对”含义的词,如only, must, fully以及形容词或者副词最高级的时候,考生在答卷时就不能采用“完全同意”的立场。比如2008年9月28日考题:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

The only effective way for government to encourage energy conservation is increasing the price of gasoline and electricity.

考生可以部分同意,即提高能源价格是一种有效措施之一,但同时还有其他办法;也可以完全反对,即不能光靠提高能源使用价格来节能,还要靠别的方法措施等。所以在审题时,我们还是建议考生要多花点时间把题目的意思读透,最好在心里把题目的中文含义反复地翻译给自己听几遍,从意思出发,再决定自己的立场,这样就可以避免由于审题的不全面而导致很大的失分。

又如:你是否同意或者不同意以下观点:大学是否应该拨相等的钱给图书馆和学生体育活动。考生应该将同意和反对的理由用中文或者英文简单地在草稿纸上列举出来,这样做不仅可以梳理思路,而且还能有效地进行段落布局,如:

同意:

1. 体育活动对学生的学习和健康非常重要。

2. 体育活动有助于培养学生的团队精神和人生态度。

3. 体育活动能给学校带来好声誉,好的运动队能够提高学校的名气。

不同意:

1. 诚然,体育活动对学生的学习和健康非常重要。

2. 虽然学生的健康对于他们的学术成功极为重要,但是学校需要为确保学生身体健康的投资是相对较少的。

3. 鉴于学校的主要任务是发展学生的心智而不是体魄,学校应当将其有限的资源更多地投入图书馆而不是体育设施中去。

接下来,考生可以从二边的分论点中选择自己相对熟悉的一方去写,这样调理才清晰。

三、文章的组织

朗阁海外考试研究中心建议考生独立写作一般采用“五段式”布局,主体段分三段论述,可以是一个观点/立场的三个方面,也可以是将正反二方的理由分散在这三段中写。

主体段的发展指的是运用例子,细节和理由来支持你在文章中所阐述的观点。在独立写作中,我们经常使用的段落发展手段有列举,举例,假设,因果,比较,排比,反问,让步等。阅卷者不希望看到考生为了凑字数而过多使用一些“模式化”的单词或句子来发展文章,也不愿意看到考生过多抄袭或者沿用题目中的句子。他们会考察考生在用自己的话论述观点上的能力。比如:

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Yes,it is. I bought much,because TV ads.

显然,这个考生除了增加几个单词外,只是完全抄袭了写作题目,而且没有关于文章话题的发展。并且出现了低级的连词使用错误,因此属于0分的文章。我们再来看看这个例子:

The importance of the issue raised by the posed statement, namely creating a new holiday for people, can not be underestimated as it concerns the very fabric of society. As it stands, the issue of creating a new holiday raises profound implications for the future. However, although the subject matter in general can not be dismissed lightheartedly, the

perspective of the issue as presented by the statement raises certain qualms regarding practical application.

这个考生虽然写了很多字,但是没有发展出任何真正的主题,这些在独立写作中都是很忌讳的事情。

但是倘若考生的文章是组织有序的,那么阅卷者从头看到尾也不会感到糊涂。可是文章结构的有序,并不是单纯地使用了诸如first, second之类的连词就可以达成的。文章中所有的句子必须服务于你的论述主题,一旦脱离了主题,那么再精辟的连词也是徒劳的。此外,在独立写作的评分标准里提到了“unity”, “progression”, “coherence”, 这就意味着考生需要将自己的观点通过合理的句型表达出来,做到统一,层层递进,连贯,以期让阅卷者能够“一目了然”文章的意图。以下我们来看一个例子:

In any relationship of mine, I would wish that first of all, the person I am dealing with is honest. Even though he/she thinks that he/she did something wrong that I wouldn’t like, he/she’d better tell me the truth and not lie about it. Later on if I find out about a lie or hear the truth from someone else, that’d be much more unpleasant. In that case how can I ever believe or trust that person again? How can I ever believe that this person has enough confidence in me to forgive him/her and carry on with the relationship from there. So if I cannot trust a person anymore, if the person doesn’t think I can handle the truth, there is no point to continuing that relationship.

在这个段落里,作者的语言流畅,准确,丰富,前后衔接紧密,语意连贯,句式较多变,并且使用了反问这种修辞手法,因此很好的完成了“组织”句子的目的。尽管不能说十全十美,但是这样的论述仍旧可以得到满分。

与之形成鲜明对比的是:

The people lining up in the embassy are applying for a variety of visas. Some applicants want student visas. Other applicants want resident visas. The other applicants want tourist visas. Applying for resident visas is very difficult; one has to meet a lot of requirements. According to a recent survey,the largest number of applicants are applying for tourist visas. The number of people applying for student visas comes in second. Among all the applicants, only a fraction want resident visas.

这段话的主题句显然是第一句,根据评分要求里对于段落一致性的要求,主题句后面的支持句都必须围绕“不同的人在大使馆里申请不同的签证”这个话题展开论述。仔细分析后我们发现上面这段话里多了一个不相干的句子:“Applying for resident visas is ver y difficult; one has to meet a lot of requirement.”, 这句话虽然也在谈签证,但是它谈论的是“申请签证很困难”这个论点,这样的话和段落主题就不相同了。因此考生在写文章时,一定要做到一个段落只讲一个话题,主题句的论点必须贯穿这个段落,后面的每一个支持句都朝一个方向前进,只有这样才能写出条理分明的文章。

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