商务英语写作-教案

Chapter 1 Introduction to Business Writing

I Teaching Objectives:

Students will be able to

1. Learn the functions and basic pattern of business writing;

2. Aware the criteria for effective business writing;

3. Master the effects of information-communication in business writing.

4. Learn the basic patterns of business writing

II Contents:

1 Topic: An Overview of Business Writing

2 Key words: functions criteria effects patterns

3 Function: Understand why practical writing is so important and what business writing is.

III Procedure:

1.1 Introduction

Q: Why the ability to write effectively is a valuable business asset?

? A great deal of business is transacted in writing.

?Effective business writers can promote good relations with customers, employees and the general public. Then they can help to increase their company’s sales and profits.

?Proficiency in writing gives one a personal advantage in business; and contributes substantially to one’s self-confidence.

1.2 Functions of business writing

★To inform: you explain something or tell readers something

★To persuade or request: you want the reader to act. The word “request” suggests that the action will be easy or routine; “persuade “suggests that you will have to motivate and convince the readers to act.

★To entertain

★To build goodwill: you create a good image of yourself and of your organization- the kind of image that makes people want to do business with you.

Most messages have multiple purposes. When you answer a question, you’re informing, but you also want to buil d goodwill by suggesting that you’re competent and perceptive and that your answer is correct and complete. In a cla ims adjustment, whether your answer is yes or not, you want to suggest that the reader’s

1.3 Criteria for effective business writing (6 C’s):

? A successful business message: (1) the receiver interprets the msg as the sender intended it. (2) it achieves the sender’s purposes.

?Six C’s p rinciples:

?Courtesy: treating people with respect and friendly human concern.

?Correctness: correct grammar, punctuation and spelling; choosing the correct level of language and using accurate information and data.

?Conciseness: to write in the fewest possible words without sacrificing completeness and courtesy.

?Clarity: short familiar words and simple short sentences are better.(your writings are totally understood) ?Concreteness: vivid, specific, definite

?Completeness: include all necessary information and data

BASIC FIVE CRITERIA:

1. It’s clear (Clarity). The meaning the reader gets is the meaning the writer intended. The reader doesn’t

have to guess.

2. It’s complete (Completeness). All of the reader’s questions are answered. The reader has enough

information to evaluate the msg. and act on it.

3. It’s correct (Correctness). All of the information in the msg. is accurate. The msg. is free from errors

in punctuation, spelling, grammar, word order, and sentence structure.

4. It saves the reader’s time.---- (Conciseness) The style, organization, and visual impact of the msg.

help the reader to read, understand, and act on the information as quickly as possible.

5. It builds goodwill. The msg. presents a positive image of the writer and his or her organization. It

treats the reader as a person, not a number. It cements [to make a relationship between people, countries, or organizations firm and strong

cement a relationship/alliance]a good relationship between the writer and the reader.

1.4 Adapting to modern changes in business writing (communicate effects)

?goodwill effects: It is desirable in letter[formal something that is desirable is worth having or doing]because: (1)

for business reasons (2)It is the effect most of us want in our relations.

?other effects: sometimes ensure the success of business letters.(1)the techniques of persuasion

(2)techniques that emphasize your qualification (3) play down the unwelcome part

?Achieving the desired effects, we can do the following:

?Conversational Style: warm and natural language

?Resisting Tendency to Be Formal: There is a misconception that big words and difficult words are preferred in business letters. They resulted in a cold and unnatural style—do not produce goodwill effect.

?Avoiding the Old Language of Business: cold tone, formal language of law and flowery language of nobility.

E.g.: Your letter of the 7th inst (-dated or fml commerce-instant (of this month));

Please be advised to…;

Wherein you state as per (根据) your letter;

Thanking you in advance.

?You-viewpoint (you-attitude你式写法)---building goodwill: focus interest on the reader—for persuasion and for influencing people favorably—emphasize “you” and “your”, de-emphasize “we”

and “our”—not just using second pronouns, but placing the reader in the center of things—Read your msg. over as if you were in your readers shoes. How would you feel if you received it?—avoid insincerity, obviously flattery, too chummy [friendly亲切的], avoid slang, clichés, and “in”

jokes[shared by or appealing to a small group （小圈子内）分享的或感兴趣的: an in-joke一则内部笑话.].—using it for good goals.

?Accent on Positive Language: best for letter goals, put the reader in the right frame of mind; create the goodwill atmosphere.

●You emphasize the positive when you:

(1) Put positive information first, give it more space, or set it off visually in an indented[缩

进的] list.

(2) Eliminate negative words whenever possible.

(3) Focus on what is possible, not what is impossible.

?Singling Out Your Reader: write for the reader’s particular situation, and the reader gets indiv idual treatment. “We look forward to the possibility of sending our executives to you in the years ahead.”

?Using the Reader’s Names: It makes the reader feel that his/her identity as individual is recognized.---once or twice, not too often.

?Avoiding Anger: jeopardize goodwill—sarcasm, insult, exclamation; but when positive words have not brought desired results, negative words may be justified.

1.5 Basic patterns of business writing:

deductively[using the knowledge and information you have in order to understand or form an opinion about something]

or inductively[using known facts to produce general principles] inductive argument是总结，归纳。先举出散例/特征，然后归纳总结。deductive argument是给一个总的定义/概念，然后再找实例/原因来support你的theme（中心思想）These can elicit the response or action:

? 1. directness in good-news and routine messages:

?Begin with the main idea(present good-news or routine information);

?Followed by supporting details;

?End with goodwill

? 2. indirectness in bad-news messages:

? a buffer

?reasons supporting the negative decision

? a clear, diplomatic statement of the negative decision

? a helpful, friendly, and positive close.

? 3. indirectness in persuasion

?Open with words that set up strategy – needs and appeals, emotion, logic and credibility, and gain attention.

?Present the strategy (persuasion)—using persuasive language and you-viewpoint

?End the letter by describing precisely what you would like to happen, restating how the audience will benefit by acting as you wish and making action easy to take.

1.6 Pair work- questions for comprehension

1.7 Group discussion- sample analysis

1.8 Practice

VI Assessment

Exercises in the textbook

Say Don’t say Say Don’t say

Big Substantial To issue To promulgate

Home, house Domicile Pay Remuneration

Use Utilize About Circa

For For the purpose of During During the year of

Need Have need for Often In many cases

Because Due to the fact that Since For the reason that

Economical Wordy

Will u please return the enclosed card and arrange a convenient time for an interview? At this time I am writing to you to enclose the postpaid appointment card for the purpose of arranging a convenient time when we might get together for a personal interview.

I am writing about the Russell account to list potential issues before the client’s visit.I am writing in order to list the potential issues in regard to the Russell account in advance of the client’s visit.

Concrete General

These breaks stop a 2-ton car, traveling 60

miles an hour, within 240 feet.

These breaks stop a car within a short distance.

This computer types 1,000 personalized

150-word campaign letters in one hour.

This computer reproduces campaign letters fast.

You-attitude

Putting what you want to say in you-attitude is a crucial step both in thinking about the reader’s needs and in communicating your concern to the reader.

How to Create You-Attitude:

2. Refer to the reader’s request or order specifically

If your reader is an individual or a small busines s, it’s friendly to specify the content of the order; if you’re writing to a

so much to someone who barely qualifies. All the reader cares about is the situation from his or her point of view.

5. In negative situation, avoid the word “you”. Protect the reader’s ego. Use pas sive verbs and impersonal

Using passive verbs and impersonal expressions to avoid blaming the reader.

Passive verbs: the action performed on something, without necessarily saying who did it.

To create goodwill with content,

?Be complete. When you have lots of information to give, consider putting some details in an appendix, which may be read later.

?Anticipate and answer questions the reader is likely to have.

?When you include information the reader didn’t ask for, show why it is importa nt.

?Show readers how the subject of your message affects them.

To organize information to build goodwill,

?Put information readers are most interested in first.

?Arrange information to meet your reader’s needs, not yours.

?Use headings and lists so that the reader can find key points quickly.

Positive Emphasis

2. State information positively. Focus on what the r eader can do rather than on what you won’t or can’t let the

3. Justify negative information by giving a reason or linking it to a reader benefit.

the reader will acknowledge.)

4. If the negative is truly unimportant, omit it.

Omit negatives only when

?The reader does not need the information to make decision

?You have already given the reader the information and he or she has access to the previous communication.

5. Put the negative information in the middle and present it compactly.

Chapter 2 Structure and Style of Business Letters

2学时2nd week

I Teaching Objectives:

Students will be able to

1. Learn the structures and placement of business letters;

2. Know five styles of business letters;

3. Learn the envelop addressing.

II Contents:

1. Topic: Structure and Style of Business Letters

2. Key words: structures and placement, five styles, envelop addressing

3. Function: Know the structure and style of business letters.

III Procedure:

2.1 Introduction

2.2 Letter structures and placement

★Letterhead

Contains: the name of the firm; its address and postal codes; telephone number; fax number; internet address; e-mail address; a trademark or a brief slogan, etc

A 2nd page heading*

★Date: M/D/Y(Am); D/M/Y(Br); Month is preferred written in full.

★Inside address: typed as it will appear on the envelope; at the left margin

★Attention line: If you now an individual’s complete name, it is always better to use it as t he first line of the inside address and avoid an attention line.

★Salutation:

(1)two lines below inside address or attention line

(2) use “:”or “,”(not “;”) after salutation

(3) use an individual’s full name only when gender is unknown.

★subject line

(1)exp erts’ suggestion: two lines below the salutation

(2)many businesses: above the salutation

(3)often underlined or in capitals

★body

(1)most single-spaced with double line spacing between paragraphs.

(2)double-spaced with indented paragraphs.

★complimentary close

Formal Semiformal Informal

Yours faithfully Yours very truly Faithfully yours Sincerely yours

Cordially yours

Very cordially yours

Sincerely

Cordially

(Best) regards

Take care

Thanks

Love

★signature

(1) organization name- entirely in capitals; two lines below the complimentary close

(2) author, title and dept. –3 blank lines should be left above the typed name for author’s signature; if

short, the author’s title or dept may on the same line, if long, below the name.

★reference initials

two spaces bel ow author’s name and title;

author’s initials should appear before the typist’s

★enclosure

2 lines below the reference initials;

Enclosure/Attachment; Enc./At.

May include the number; may identify an enclosure specifically

★copy notation (1/2 lines below enclosure notation)

CC, cc, Cc (carbon copy 复写),

XC (Xerox copy),

PC (photo copy),

C (copy)

2.3Styles of business letters

?Block Style齐头式

?Modified Block Style 改良齐头式

?Simplified Style 简化式

?Indented Style 缩进式

?Punctuation Styles

2.4Envelop Addressing

?The Indented Form

?The Blocked Form

2.5Pair work- questions for comprehension

2.6Group discussion- sample analysis

2.7Practice

IV Assignment

Exercises in the textbook

补充单元：Business Letter 总结

Before writing:

1. Types of Essays

1. Description:

Painting a picture in words of a person, place, object, or scene.

2. Narration:

Give an account of an event or a series of events.

3. Exposition:

Explain or explore something, (e. g, process of make a machine, the causes of a natural or social phenomenon, the planning of a project, or a solution of a problem)

* Description mainly deal with appearance and feelings, and narration with events and experiences, unlike the two, the exposition mainly deals with relationships as well as processes.

Things can be explained by illustration, process, classification, and division, comparison, contrast, and analysis of their causes and effects or definition. That is to say, methods that are good for paragraph development are also good for expository essays.

3. Argumentation:

unlike the purpose of exposition, which aims to inform, the purpose of argumentation is to convince.

You should do your best to meet the following requirements:

1) A debatable point:

Eg: Noise is the most harmful of all environmental pollution; Part-time study is helpful for young students;

2) Sufficient evidence:

Common knowledge, specific example, facts (not opinions unless the opinions are expert and authoritative;) statistics, and quotations from authorities.

3) Logic ways of reasoning:

(1) Inductive reasoning（归纳）From facts to a general conclusion.

(2)Deductive reasoning（演绎）From general to specific

German cars are well built.

V olkswagens are German cars

My V olkswagen is well built.

II. Process of Writing

1. Generate ideas

2. outlining

3. draft

4. revise

5. edit

III. Our teaching plan

Generally follow the textbooks arrangement, but not exactly. (the syllabus to be finished)

IV. Grading method

Three best ones + final test

V. Other activities

1. web-pubishing (above 90)

2. a collection of students articles

3. journal writing (two journal books)

VI.

Telling your stories

A personal narrative

Narrative writing is a story telling. A personal narrative is simply a story taken from your life.

It is organized chronologically, and relies on narration, sometimes in combination with description and other kinds of writing. If it is a short one, you’d better choose one main point or incident, you should give enough specific details and fa cts so that readers can see and feel the experience rather than read about it.

Before writing activity:

Before writing activities

1. Asking questions:

What is happening?

When did it begin?

What is causing it to happen?

What dose it do?

How is it being done?

Where is it being done?

Why is it happening?

What dose it look like?

Samples:

When I was sixteen, I overheard a conversation between my mother and my father that changed my life. On this particular day, I had stayed home from school because of an attack of asthma that I frequently suffered. While resting in my bedroom, I could overhear my parents discussing my illness.

‘I wonder if asthma is inherited, my mother said.’ No one in my family or in yours has ever had it . Tom must have inherited it from his mother and father”.

“from his mother and father!” I could not believe my ears. Weren’t those two people in the living room my father an mother? If they were not, then who were my parents? Suddenly, I realized what they had meant. I was adopted.

That nigh I could hardly sleep, shaken by what I had overheard. The nest morning I confronted my parents with the words I had overheard and demanded to know the truth The looked nervously at each other, trying to find the words to answer me. Finally, my mother told me the story My real parents were unmarried, and I had been put up for adoption shortly after my birth. Their present whereabouts were unknown. My adoptive parents had been unable to have children of their own, and the adoption agency awarded me to them when I was two months old.

For a few weeks I was confused in my feelings. I wondered what their occupations were, and even such little things as what they did for hobbies and entertainment. But little by little, my attitude and thoughts changed. I began to appreciate my parents in a new and powerful way. When I saw the ways in which they had to economize by skipping a vacation or driving an old car, I realized the sacrifices they had made for me.

The shock is experienced that night when I heard that conversation was soon replaced by an increased love and admiration for two important people in my life: my mother and dad.

Revision Checklist

Worksheet:

Revision checklist (from Robert)

After you write your personal narrative, answer the following questions:

1: Did I select one main incident and stick to it?

2: Did I arrange the events chronologically, or in order of the happening?

3: Did I build up to a certain point or idea?

4: Did I give examples and details to support my point?

5: Did I check the dictionary when I wasn’t sure how to spell a word.

Reader-Writer Response (From Reid)

R: Answer the question. Be specific. Then complete the following statements:

The best part of this article was__________.

When I finished the essay I thought/felt_____________.

One place I disagreed was where you said__________

One experience or idea I had that was similar to this was___________

When you said______, I thought about _________.

One suggestion I want to make to improve the paper is __________.

2) Possible topics:

1. college life

2. Introduce yoursedl

3. A visit to…

4. an unforgettable experience

Letter Writing

(Samples and Instruction)

My dearest friend,

Recently I have noticed a habit of yours that is becoming a serious problem. It is your smoking. As long as you are in, our bedroom is filled with terrible smell and the ashtray is always overflowed with cigarette butts.

You are ruining your health smoking. Nicotine in the cigarette not only destroys your brain cells, but also damages your lungs and windpipes. Heavy smoking correlates highly with cancer. The scientists have already proved that, and I am not scaring you.

Smoking harms not only your health, but also of others around you. Our roommates sometimes have to stay away from the dormitory for fear of the terrible smell. As a result, the brotherhood among us is gradually fading. So you see the bad effects of smoking outweigh the “good feeling” by a large margin.

It is quite to quit this habit if you are determined to give it up. Where there is a will, there is way. We will always be of your help.

Yours truly,

Shi you

A Letter to the Mayor

Mr. Mayor,

As a senior citizen of this city, I noticed from the City News on City Channel that you smoke in various occasions. Obviously, you are a heavy smoker and have addicted to this habit for years.

I guess as the mayor of the city, you must be very busy and don’t have time to give a serious consideration of such trifle. However, in my opinion, it is no trifle at all. Within the city, the mayor is the most influential public figure and sometimes he is respected as the model of life for children. “The mayor smokes too ” Students who are advised to quit smoking would thus justify their behavior. Outside the city, a mayor is the representative from who people form their impressions about the city and the city people. Therefore, considering your social status and influence, it is important for you pay attention to proper behavior.

Citizens in this city all know that you are not only a tactful statesman, but also a high-educated intellectual. I think it is the most improbable that you neglect the fact that modern science have approved that smoking does great harm to the smoker’s health as well as the health of those who breathe the second-hand smoke. We all admire your wisdom and your knowledge and hope you will make a wise choice between smoking and living healthily, not only for you, but also for all

the people of this city.

I personally used to be a cigarette addict, but I gave up the habit at the age of 56 when I realized the harm of smoking. From my personal experience, I can assure you to quit smoking is nothing difficult if you make up your mind to give it up. People all over the city will give you encouragement on that.

Yours sincerely,

Gong Ming

邀请

邀请函一般应该包括以下内容

A诚挚邀请对方参加某一活动；

B概括介绍活动的内容和安排；

C再次表示诚意。

例如以下是一篇简短的邀请友人参加晚宴的邀请函：

Dear Mrs. Li, May 5,2003

W e should be very much pleased if you and Mr. Li would dine with us on Wednesday at 7 0’clock. (诚挚邀请对方参加晚宴)It will be quite a small party, as we have only asked Mr. And Mrs. Anderson and Miss Chang Ling, all close friends of ours. (简单介绍晚宴的内容与参与者)We trust you will be disengaged and able to give us the pleasure of your company.(再次表示诚意)

Truly yours,

Tom

接受邀请

邀请函收件人的反应或是欣然接受，或是表示婉拒。例如：

表示接受的便条至少会包括以下内容：

A感谢

B确切表示会赴邀。

Dear Mr. Tom,

Please accept our hearty thanks for your kind invitation to your hoe dinner on Wednesday. Thank you for including us among limited number of your guests. You may be sure we will join you on that day and we are looking forward to the pleasure of being with you.

Yours sincerely,

Li Hong

表示接受的常用语汇有：

We are delighted to accept……

It is wit h great pleasure……

We are sincerely happy to join you……

婉拒

拒绝邀请的便条往往包括以下部分：

A收到邀请；

B表示感谢；

C阐述不能赴邀的原因；

D表示遗憾和良好的祝愿。

Dear Mr. Tom, May 6,2003

We are very appreciative of your so warmly including us among your selected guests for Wednesday. Most unfortunately, however, we shall be unable to avail ourselves of your kind invitation on account of a previous engagement for the same day. I have ordered the Xinxin Department Store to deliver you a trifle, which please accept as a humble token of our felicitation on the party.

With best wishes for a very jolly home diner.

Yours sincerely,

Li Hong

表示婉拒的常用语汇有：

I shall have to say no to your kind invitation……

Very regretfully,……

Unfortunately, it will be impossible……

Because of, we find we cannot……

感谢

感谢信也常常包括三个部分：

A对于收信人的惠助表示感谢；

B解释感谢的原因或对方的帮助给自己带来的好处；

C再次表示诚挚谢意。

例如以下是一封感谢老师推荐的信件：

Dear Mr. Wallash, April 12, 1999

I’ m sincerely grateful for your generous recommendation, I am now a post-graduate of the History Department of California University and I will begin my study here tomorrow. (表示感谢)The Dean of our department, Pro. Hopkins did read your letter carefully and said he was glad to have a student of yours in his pleasant experience of working together with you in Beijing University and expressed his wish to invite you a visiting scholar to our department. (解释感谢的原因)Than you again for your help in recommending me as a postgraduate.(再次表示谢意)

Yours sincerely,

Li Hong

表示感谢的常用语汇有：

I don

‘t know how to express my gratitude for you……

I cannot tell your how much I owe you……

It was thoughtful(more than kind, generous, etc)of you……

Thank you again for your generosity(hospitality, generous help, etc……)

祝贺

表祝贺的便条有多种，如节日，生日，乔迁，病愈，入学，毕业，就业，比赛，考试等等。要将祝贺的内容写简练，要掌握几种表祝贺的特殊句型。

Dear Tom, May 12,2004

I just write to express my heartiest congratulations on your moving into your new house. It is really good news you have at last a house of your own designing, located on a scenic hillside. I can imagine how happy you and your family are. I do wish to call to see you and your new house one of these days.

With best wishes to you and your family.

Yours sincerely,

Jerry

表祝贺常用的名型：

I am writing to express my heartiest congratulations on your……

Accept my sincere congratulations from the bottom of my heart on your……

I wish to congratulate you on your finishing high school and entering QingHua University.

I am much delighted to hear/learn you have passed/won…As one of your friends I am very proud of you.

It’s the kind of news I like to hear, because it proves once again a hard-working always gets ahead. Let e offer my warmest congratulations. I know you are going to be a great success in…

道歉

由于违约，或做错了事，说错了话，或是因服务不周造成了某种不良后果，当事人必须为此道歉。表道歉的便条要求写条人的态度一定要诚恳、真实。

Dear Wang ling, March 6,2001