留学申请 简历
个人自述写作精要
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2005-5-5 10:16:33
1 精辟的开场白－－一篇成功的个人自述应有一段精彩的开端，这可以是申请人对专业的，对事业的，对时事的，或对个人情况的感想和评述，但应注意与所申请的课程和专业相关。
2 对教育背景的介绍－－申请人应用叙述的笔法，将个人的教育背景勾勒出来，并强调其中的重点部分，并应避免枯燥和对个人简历的简单复制。
3 对转专业的铺垫－－转专业的申请人应用大量笔墨强调自身对所申请专业的了解和基础，实例和实力远远胜过无关痛痒的感想和评述。如申请人曾选读该领域的课程或从在该领域从业，所取得的知识足以弥补缺乏该专业专业训练的不足，则应成为该篇个人自述的重中之重。
4 对工作背景的介绍－－应着重强调个人的工作背景如何与所申请专业有关联，并将在何方面帮助申请人未来的学习。
5 对学生工作的介绍－－突出领导能力，团队合作精神或实践活动的价值
6 对英语的把握
7 对该专业的热爱和理解
8 为何选择该学校和该课程
9 对未来的预期和计划
整个个人自述应避免太过冗长，并应注意使用学术英语，充分展示个人的英语能力，但忌讳用浮华且无实际价值的语言雕饰太过。目前市场上流通的以新东方留学文书为首的一些教材和范例大多属于留学个人自述中的次品，在很多地方犯了留学文书惯例的忌讳，在英国院校中风评很差，请申请人不要单纯模仿，更应避免抄袭，以免自误。
申请人如能将本篇介绍所涉及的要点在个人自述中均衡有序地覆盖，并避免文中提及的几种失误，再能通过精通英语和留学技巧的朋友或老师进行修饰和改进，一定可以完成一篇精彩的个人自述，为自己在申请中赢得更多胜机。（无忧雅思）
Personal Statement/Autobiography
My name is Fang Yan. I am 24 years old and male. I was born in Taiyuan, Shanxi Province. There are three people in my family including me, and I am the only son.
My father is an electronic engineer and my mother is a teacher of English. I completed elementary, junior and senior high school in Taiyuan. In 1993, I entered Shanghai Jiaotong University and graduated in 1997 with a bachelor's degree in computer science. Since then I have been working as a computer programmer in Shanghai Wanda Company.
Influenced by my father, I've been interested in electronics since I was quite young. I love breaking down and reassembling little gadgets in spare time as well. I still remember that I made a portable transistor radio by myself in junior high school. And I made it a part-time job repairing TV sets and radios for neighbours in senior high.
Since chil
dhood, I've been taught by my parents to make friends with people around and always keep good manners in public. Besides, I learn the importance of helping people out when they need it most by doing my part-time job.
Besides, I like sports very much and I am physically well.
Of course I do admit that I have some shortcomings. I can be shy when speaking in the presence of large crowds of people. Sometimes I am hesitant in making quick decisions. But I'm sure I will be able to overcome them.
Now I'm applying for a position in your company. I believe a whole new working environment will surely provide better chances for me to build up future career and personal characters.
Thank you very much.(网络英语)
留学申请文书的写作技巧
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2003-3-6 9:55:22
作者：何庆权
青海某大学一个学经济的女生有过一段不寻常的经历。她通过因特网和一个美国女孩做笔友，前后长达七年之久。到她大学一年级读完，对方邀请她去美国相聚，其父母慷慨地表示要承担全部费用。这个跨国友情是如此不寻常，以致于挑剔的美国签证官都被感动了。她轻而易举地得到了签证，在她笔友的陪同下在美国游玩了两个星期。
几年过去了，这位小姐想再赴美国，这次是要留学。她几年前在美国的友谊之旅是如此的刻骨铭心，她非常想用它来打动美国教授。在她精心写作的personal statement里，她用重墨描绘了她的这段经历。可惜地是，当她把这篇文章交给一个外国老师修改时，人家毫不留情地把她倍加珍视的内容全删除了。
外国老师如此处理自有其道理。在他看来，这个中国学生不寻常的经历与她在专业上的能力和志向太不相干了。申请文件通常是外国学校了解你专业水平的唯一媒介和手段，你如果在其中把笔墨过多地放在与专业无关的叙述上，你就会喧宾夺主。
这位不甘心的青海姑娘继续寻求帮助，最后她的文章到了我手里。在我的帮助下，这篇文章有了一个新的结构，使用了新的语言，尽管所有的事实都还是原来的。但在新的version里，她的美国之行对她来说是一个eye-opener。在短暂的旅途中，她对美国的印象是肤浅的，但那些很表面的东西仍然不可避免地向她反映出美国经济的发达和内在活力。
中美经济发展的明显差异既激发了她要帮助中国在经济上强大起来的愿望，又促使她这个学经济的中国学生要从经济学上找到说明。在学习中，她认识到美国经济的发达和美国经济学的发达必然有着某种联系，所以她现在希望到美国留学。在强大的motivation的推动下，她比别人更加发奋地学习和研究经济学，使她现在有了比
别人更加扎实的经济学功底，为她去美国深造奠定了基础。这样，她的personal statement不仅描绘了她的独特经历，而且读者还可以透过她的独特经历看到她在专业方面的基础和水平。
写作的技巧
再好的想法如果不能被充分地表达出来也是枉然。国外的教授一般只能从书面材料来对你的学识、人品和语言能力进行判断，而你也只能以书面的形式来表现和证明你自己。你和他们之间唯一的媒介是写在纸上的文字。由于洋教授一般不爱读长篇大论，你的篇幅一般有限。你必须使用一些写作技巧。
* 最有效、最容易应用也最容易被忽略的技巧之一是给段落一个topic sentence，或者叫主题句，并将其摆放在段落最前面。中文写作时，主题句经常埋伏在段落中间。但英文段落如有topic sentence，则应置于段落开头。这个topic sentence应表达一定的见解、认识、判断或态度，由段落的其余部分用事实和推理来进行论证和支持。譬如，你可以在一段开头时说你的研究能力很好，紧接着讲你学过什么方法论、做过什么样的试验、参预过什么样的试验以及取得过什么样的研究成果等。Topic sentence可以帮助读者清楚地把握文章的内容。对于英文写作不熟练的人来说，给每一重要段落一个带总结性的topic sentence是一个提高写作质量非常行之有效的办法。
* 在文章中注意建立强烈的对比能够帮读者留下比较深刻的印象。在上面提到的青海姑娘的personal statement中，为了渲染她美国之行的不一般，我用了这么一句话：The summer of 1996 saw me, a poor student in China's landlocked Qinghai Province, flying across the Pacific Ocean to the United States to meet my penpal and her family at their home in a small American town. 这句话可以轻易地写成：In the summer of 1996, I went to the US to see my penpal and her family. 但这后一种说法完全无法反映她作为一个中国内陆省份的穷学生与美国小镇上的笔友之间所客观存在的巨大距离。
一个留学申请者早年因家贫放弃大学读了中专技校，几年后直接考上中科院某所研究生。当他为自己没有正规本科学历惴惴不安时，我帮他把personal statement修改了，用他没有本科教育也能考研来衬托他在逆境中奋斗的能力。Exercising diligence to give full play to my intelligence, I parlayed my vocational career in the provinces into graduate studies at a top research institute in the nation's capital, Beijing, where I now wish to vault to the forefront of the field of spatial statistics by pursuing doctorate studies at a leading American university. 这样，由于三个加黑短语的适当排比，造成了一种不断向上的印象。
* 你要尽量把你所提到的事实与洋
教授所熟悉、所看重的东西联系起来讲，因为很多洋教授对中国相当无知。在国外，我曾不止一次被问过Beijing University和Peking University是不是在同一个城市，可见一斑。我当年高考襄阳地区第一名，要说给洋人听他们会一脸漠然，所以我说：I achieved the highest total of scores in area with a population the size of Ontario's。一个中央电视台的记者要去美国，我帮她写道：I am regularly watched in China by an audience that numbers more than the American population。1998年克林顿来华访问，所以在文章中提到北大时这么写：Beijing University, dubbed as China's Harvard by President Clinton on his recent trip to the country. 同理，当你提到863工程、联想集团等中国名词时，最好也给一个美国人能够理解的解释。
* 最好举出具体的实际事例来证明你用的那些形容词所言非虚，一个好的例子可以顶很多个华丽的词藻。中国留学申请者在写作留学申请文件时，要么是大量堆砌形容词，但没有可佐证的事例，要么是讲一大串事例，但不知这些事例反映什么问题。
关键在于独特性
我们的青海姑娘敏感地意识到，把自己的美国之行写进自己的personal statement可能会打动美国教授。她是对的，因为这是一次不寻常的旅行，源于一段不寻常的友谊。这段经历不仅能把她与绝大多数中国申请者区分开来，也使她有别于几乎所有申请者。有这段独特的经历作背景，她的申请材料就能吸引住美国教授那匆匆一瞥的目光。
把自己独特的地方写出来，这是申请材料写作的关键。国外大学教授往往要审查比录取名额多几倍、十几倍甚至几十倍的申请人。如果你的材料中没有富有个性的内容或语言，你很可能被放入另册，与机遇失之交臂。
太多的留学申请人在制作申请文书时太草率。他们在艰苦卓绝地考完TOEFL、GRE、GMAT之类的语言考试以后，或者已经太累了，或者觉得已经大功告成了。轮到需要制作申请文书了，往往去买一本范文，拿来依样画葫芦抄一抄就完事儿了。在现在学员拿给我读的申请文件里，我太经常地读到我自己的语言，一看就知道是从我那本《留学申请书信写作指导》中抄来的。这本书中所提供的思路、写作方法和语言也许有些借鉴意义。但你如果照抄的语言和内容太多了，就会导致掩盖或削弱你自己的个性特征，而这是最要命的。
每一个人都是独特的@ 很多申请人抱怨说他们没有什么独特的东西可写，这是不对的。我女儿出生在加拿大，小时候经常唱一首儿歌，歌词开始是：I am special, you are special, and everyone is special, each in his or her own way. 她每次唱这歌时都很得意，因
为她相信她非常地special。如果儿童能有这样的自信，你作为一个至少上完大学的成年人有什么理由一定要觉得自己普通得不足挂齿呢？
你是否独特，是否special，要看你自己怎么审视自己。只要你找对了视角，你一定会看到自己与众不同的地方。
一次座谈时，一位英俊的男士说自己是个小官僚，为改变自己的命运，想去读MBA。细问之下我才知道，他在中国人民银行已经工作了12年，官至副处长。他也许就是个小官僚。但是，他如果到美国的商学院读书，他的同学中有多少人会象他一样在世界上最大的也是发展最快的新型市场经济国家的中央银行做过这么多年的管理工作呢？
一个并不特别难看的女士去找我，说自己不过普通女孩一个。我问，你上过大学吗？上过，但上过大学的人多了。读过研究生了吗？读了，但这年头研究生也多了。学的什么专业？建筑系的。主攻方向呢？景观设计。在中国读景观设计的女研究生多吗？学景观设计的人本来就还不多，读这方面研究生的女生当然就更少了。这时我说，想想看，你怎么会普通了，要知道，即便在西方，读景观设计的女生也不多，你在这个对女生来说非传统的专业已经读了研究生了，了不起得很呢！何况，中国现在建设的速度和规模全世界罕有，你肯定已经接触或参预了不少项目的设计工作了，你的经验和前途都是绝大多数同龄的美国女孩不能企及的，你怎么能说自己太普通？
有些人仍会说，自己太年轻了，还没有来得及干出惊天动地的丰功伟绩，因此这申请文件就是反映不出什么独特性来。这样的认识错了。我现在快人到中年了，当年在中国干过记者，后来在国外充过律师，现在回国做老师，三十好几年的人生中，穿插了无数坎坷，也间或小有成绩。你作为一个二十几岁的小姐或小伙子，不需要证明你现在已经有了比我丰富的经历或者比我伟大的成就；你要证明的是，等你到我这个岁数，你一定 ― 至少很有可能 － 有比我多得多的成就和能力。我相信没有几个人做不到这一点儿。
即便你的分数、专业、志向、个性、兴趣、经历、工作岗位等背景乍看上去都比较一般，你也要知道，这些因素在每一个人身上的组合是不一样的；即便组合一样，每一个人的内心感受也是不同的。你要做的，是严肃、认真并全面地审视自己。你要在对自己深刻了解的基础上，对你的素质、经历和成就进行区分、组织和取舍，来满足学校录取的要求和标准。你把这样编排和归纳好的讯息用漂亮的英语表达出来，置于一个叙述性的结构中，你能拟出一篇具有说服力的文章
来。（来源：无忧雅思社区）
赴澳留学申请材料详介
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2002-8-21 9:14:51
Personal Statement
Yunshan Wu
I sincerely hope that I can be accepted as one of the graduate students at your university, which is well known for its accomplished faculty and modern resources. It provides students from all over the world with a good chance to learn from different cultures. It is an ideal place for further study. Taking more advanced course in your university will surely enable me to realize my long--cherished dream of significantly improving people’s living and working condition. I firmly believe that I can make great progress in my future study at your university.
My childhood was spent in a coastal Chinese city Ningbo where my father worked in a laundry factory. While visiting his workroom, I often noticed that the working efficiency of the factory was terribly low. The operational techniques were backward and tedious due to lack of computerized automation. Realizing this during my senior year in high school, I said to myself that I would do my best to improve this situation in the near future. I successfully passed the National College Entrance Examination and enlisted in the Department of Electrical Engineering at Zhejiang University, which is the leading electrical engineering department in China.
When I entered into Zhejiang University in 1998, I already stood out among the freshmen. My interests in computer-based technologies further intensified in the following college years. I became very curious at integrated circuits and their applications. Knowing that computerized technologies were essential in all aspects of life, I studied hard on the coursework not only from my major of Applied Electronic Technology, but also from electives of Computer Science. However, I was not a bookworm. To broaden my vision and enrich my knowledge, I also chose courses in certain fields such as Signal & System and Fundamentals of Machine Design. I have spent considerably more time in the library and laboratories than my classmates, which helped to improve my academic grades gradually but firmly during my college years.
Through practical training and research projects in the summer internships and the senior year at Zhejiang University, I have gained my research experience of electronics, especially in the programming of EDA tools for VLSI Design as well as the development of CPU. With a solid grounding of Mathematics, I acted perfectly in research areas. In Jul. 2001, my design “Digital Controller of Running Machine” achieved the only “Excellent Programming” with the top grade “A”. My extraordinary talent, teamwork spirit and innovation greatly impressed my research teachers, thereby in my senior year I was recommended by my class advisor and finally become the only undergraduate student in my class who was selected into the institute o
f VLSI.
The more I learnt on campus, the more I hoped to see the real world outside the ivory tower. In the age of so called information revolution, however, the complexity of electronics and computer technologies requires more knowledge, and with China’s entry into WTO, the contact between China and other countries will be more frequent than ever before. Therefore, I am applying for the MSc program in Electronics or Computer Science at your university in order to make an advanced study. The specific objectives of my educational program and professional career are to help me to become a computer engineer or a research scientist in electronic technologies. As we all know, the corresponding faculty in your university has high standards of teaching and supervision, and provides excellent masters courses both in taught and research. I hope to be accepted, and do my best to make further improvement.
Signature:
tortoisewu