英语大赛作文范文

（3）

Follow Positive Fashions, Resist Negative Fashions.

韩蕊蕊

临淄雪宫中学

Fashions refer to the things that most people tend to do. Some fashions are positive and meaningful while some are negative and harmful. So we can’t simply say we should follow fashions or we shouldn’t follow fashions. It’s the effect fashions have on society that counts.

When it comes to clothes, fashions should not be followed. What others wear may not fit you. Also, you don’t need to change your likes and dislikes in order to follow fashions. It’s stupid to run after fashions without consideration. What clothes we should buy depends on our financial ability, our tastes, our identity and so on. If everyone follows fashions without thinking, people will lose their own personality and our society will lack the motivation to develop. In a nutshell, we shouldn’t follow wearing fashions. It’s important that we dress what we like and feel comfortable in it.

Fashions also include donating money and items. It’s the fashion that we should follow. We nchuan and Yushu earthquake destroy many people’s homes. As Chinese, we have the res-ponsbility[*1] to give a hand to them. To help them rebuild their houses and pick up their courage, we should do what we can. At one time, many people give out a large number of money and items without hesitation. We are glad to see that the fashion has been formed. On no condition should we give up helping others. That fashion represents Chinese spirits. Everyone following the fashion, [12] we will over come[*3] any difficulties and head to the bright future.

Should we follow fashions? At some time, we should; at some time, we shouldn’t . If the fashion has a positive effect on our society, it should be encouraged. If the fashion does harm to our society, it must be resiste d. It’s the principle we should insist on. Only in this way can our country develop rapidly. Treat fashions correctly, and everyone will live a better life.

专家点评：

从文章的字里行间能明显感觉到该同学对于英语语言本身的休养较高：包括词的选择使用，难句的把握，整体的流畅性，都是值得赞扬和学习的，这是一篇很优秀的文章。

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[*1]responsibility

[12]句子缺东西，再者与后句缺乏逻辑关系。

[*3]overcome

（2）

Follow Fashions without Losing Yourself

赖绮玫

广州市执信中学

When it comes to fashion, what will you come up with? Gucci, Prada, Channel or Nike, Puma, Addidas? If these are all the things you can think of, I have to say your definition of fashion is too shallow[11] . As far as I am concerned, following fashions is not just about chasing labels, it pertains with choosing a lifestyle, adjusting your values as well, which can be of great help to us as long as we don’t lose our own style when pursuing it.

The advantage [*2] of following fashions can easily be seen from how the fashions come about. Let’s take[*3] the popularity of Japanese clothes adored by such enormous number of people is[*4] that the dresses and shirts are beautifully decorated with bows ,laces, making young girls unable to resist the temptation to buy them. As we can conclude from the example, it is because something is charmfu[*5] l enough to attract people that it turns into fashion, which makes it totally reasonable for people to follow fashions as they can benefit from it.

Besides, it is an obvious truth that humans are social animals. Such [*6] is human nature that we like to get together and communicate with each iother[*7] , and invariably, fashions become a hot topic. Therefore, following fashions creates common points[*8] among people, leading to more communication and harmonious relationship. If you keep up with fashions, I guess, you will never be isolated and left silent [*9] in a party.

Last but not least, fashions actually contain varieties of new ideas of life. They can be a new healthy lifestyle, the latest inventions to improve life quality or some nobel [*10] thoughts of a better city, all of which may be creative indeed. [111] Only when you follow the fashions and absorb these new ideas, can you keep pace with times and enjoy your life better.

Nevertheless, to follow fashions never amounts[*12] to lose yourself in the tide of fashions. It will be absolutely stupid if you have no feature of your own and just follow the steps of others. In my opinion, keeping your own style is something foundamental [113] and essential in following fashions.

To sum up from the facts mentioned above, we can safely reach the conclusion that as long as you stick to your own style, following fashions is bound to present you with a more enjoyable life. So let’s catch up with fashions!

专家点评：

文章思路清晰，结构紧凑，开头和结尾紧扣主题，精干又有力，容易使读者对文章主旨的把握。中间部分的逻辑性强，思路也很清晰，唯一不足的是在一些长难句的表达上出现了一些错误，有些句子让人很难理解。在以后的写作中可以多关注长句子的练习。

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[11]不符合英语习惯，改为narrow 是否好一些？

[*2]advantages

[*3]删去

[*4]lies

[*5]charming

[*6]改为It

[*7]other

[*8]是否用trend 刚好？

[*9]alone

[*10]删去

[111]句子缺主语？

[*12]means

[113]拼写有误foundmental

（1）

Volunteer Work, Harmoniass Would

韩叶

江苏省张家港市张家港外国语学校高三3班

Have you ever guided a passenger losing his or her way? Have you ever donate your pocket monkey to strangers suffering disasters? Have you ever kept a homeless ouimal? If your ouswer is ‘Yes’, then congratulations[*1] you have done volunteer work.

To my mind you do need to exactly join a certain organization form is not important. [*2] Volunteer work means the work we want to do to help others out of our hearts withostconsidering whether [*3] it is renording. To sum up, sympathy, sacrifice passion[*4] and warm hearts make up volunteer work. And volunteer work really makes the world better.

Firstly, as far as individuals are concerned, volunteer work makes them take responsibilities for the society. Nowadays, most families have only one child. And the late 90s are considered to be a settish useless generation.[*5] However, one of my friends says that volunteen work made me[*6] mature. He was one of the volunteers of Beijing Olympic Ganes[*7] . He gained patience, stung will and an open mind through all the tough work. And now he understands that: ‘One should hever gain without payling.’

Secondly, to the society it is also signifigant. With volunteer work, people facing difficulties are helped, poor people are financidly asisted, so that the frinction will be reduced and the interpersonal relationships will be improved. How a harmonious society will it be! There is a couple living in Beijing. They began the in volunteer work when they were only college students. They went to a medical center to take care of and play with children there once a week. Neither wind nor snow stopped them. However, one sunday in 2007 they didn't appear. And the reason ness that, the girl got cancer! The bay kept on going to the center on Sunday while taking cane of his girlfriend and working for medical expenses. The doctors ■ses and the childnes were touched deeply. Their story was published and the douation came soon. At the same time, more people went to help children there. In t his way, their spirit transferred. Their volursteer work was paid back to them selves, which was hever inagined by them. Their sympathy waked up others'.

Laste [*8] I firmly believe that a nation full of helpful respousible people is surely a strong one a world full of spirit of symporthy and devotion is surely a beautiful one. I call on all people to do volunteer work, whatever it is, whatever the form it is in, just do it and we can harvest a harmonious world together!

专家建议：

有一定英语语感，但不是很强，中式英语有时还会出现，建议多读些英文原著，或看一些优秀范文，抓住里面的经典句型，自己多多练习。

专家点评：

专家点评：

文章以及疑问句开头，步步引出主题，很吸引人。文章结构清晰，语言表达比较准确，但句式变化不多，有些句子结构不紧凑。

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[*1]这里应该用动词，congratulate,所以改为congratulate you for doing volunteer work

[*2]这句话头重脚轻了，最好写成to my mind, it is not important to….

[*3]这里要用whether or not,所以在句尾要加上or not.

[*4]这里用sacrifice 就表达清楚了，删掉passion.

Passion 是激情的意思。

[*5]在selfish后面加and

[*6]你朋友说是让他成熟，而不是你，所以要改为him

[*7]句型变换，改为，who was one of the…不是更好吗？

[*8]用Last but not least 更地道