《冰河世纪》英文剧本

英文剧本: 冰河世纪2:消融Ice Age:The Meltdown

Ice Age: The Meltdown

This global warming is killing me.

This is too hot, the Ice Age was too cold.

What would it take to make you happy?

This I like.

Oh, no, you won't catch me.

No running, James. Camp rules.

Make me, sloth.

Make me, sir. It's all about respect.

Water ball.

Sammy, you just ate. Wait an hour.

Hector, no, no, no, you can't pee-pee there.

OK, there is fine. Ashley, stop picking your...

Pi?ata!

Stop! You're supposed to wear blindfolds.

OK.

- Hey, it's my turn to hit the sloth. - Mine.

- Mine. - Mine.

Hey, you didn't have any candy in you.

- Let's bury him. - Yeah!

Hey, whoa. Who said you kids could torture the sloth? Manny, don't squash their creativity.

Hey, Manny, Diego, my bad mammals-jammals.

Wanna give a sloth a hand?

Look, I opened my camp. "Campo del Sid". It means Camp of Sid. Congratulations. You're now an idiot in two languages.

Not in front of the k-i-d-z. These little guys love me. Right, Billy?

Don't make me eat you.

They kid. That's why they're called kids.

I told you, Sid. You're not qualified to run a camp.

What do qualifications have to do with childcare?

Besides, these kids look up to me. I'm a role model to them.

I can see that.

You guys never think I can do anything, but I'm an equal member of this herd.

I made this herd, so you need to start treating me with some respect.

- Come on, Sid. - Sid, we were just kidding.

Hey, let's play pin-the-tail-on-the-mammoth.

Yeah!

Sid!

I can do stuff.

Won't give me their stupid respect.

I'll show 'em.

And so, in the end, the little burro reached his mommy.

And they lived happily ever after.

- Good job. - Question.

Why does the burro go home? Why doesn't he stay with the rabbits? Because... because he wanted to be with his family.

He should go with the girl burro. That's a better love story.

OK, well, when you tell your burro story, that's what he'll do.

Burro is a demeaning name. Technically, it's called a wild ass.

Fine. The wild ass boy came home to his wild ass mother.

See, that's why I called it a burro.

Could the burro have a grazing problem? Then he'd be more relatable. - Boring. - It's not believable.

- Do burros eat their young? - It's not a good ending.

Sometimes I throw up.

They lived happily ever after. You can't get more satisfying than that. One big, happy family. That's the way it's supposed to be.

Where's your big, happy family?

Then the hungry tiger ate the pesky little kids.

- You OK, buddy? - Sure. Why not?

- I thought... - Story time's over. The end.

- Run for your lives! - Where's everybody going?

- The world's coming to an end. - What are you talking about?

Fast Tony - he says the world's gonna flood.

Folks, I hold in my hand a device so powerful,

it can actually pull air right out of the sky.

Yeah, right.

Gather round, gather round.

Pardon me, do you have gills, ma'am?

So you can't breathe underwater?

My assistant here will demonstrate.

Hey, I can smell the ocean.

What are you doing? I can't sell that now.

You suck air through your mouth, you moron.

Through its design and sturdy construction,

you'll have plenty of air for eons to come.

Of course, results may vary.

Why are you scaring everybody with this doomsday stuff?

I'm trying to make a living here, pal.

It's my weather forecast. The five-day outlook calls for intense flooding followed by the end of the world.

And a slight chance of patchy sunshine later in the week.

Come on, don't listen to him. Fast Tony would sell his own mother for a grape. Are you making an offer? I mean, no, I would not.

Haven't you heard? The ice is melting.

You see this ground, it's covered in ice.

A thousand years ago, it was covered in ice.

A thousand years from now, it will still be ice.

Say, buddy, not to cast aspersions on your survival instincts or nothing,

but haven't mammoths pretty much gone extinct?

- What are you talking about? - About you being the last of your kind.

Your breath smells like ants.

Be that as it may, when's the last time you saw another mammoth?

Don't pay any attention to him.

Mammoths can't go extinct. They're the biggest things on Earth.

What about the dinosaurs?

The dinosaurs got cocky and made enemies.

Look. Some idiot's going down the Eviscerator.

Please tell me that's not our idiot.

OK, I'm gonna jump on the count of three.

One,

two...

Sid, don't move a muscle. We're coming up.

Jump! Jump! Jump!

Jump! Jump! Jump!

Sorry.

Two and three one-thousandths, two and four one-thousandths...

Sid, what are you doing? Get down from there.

No. I'm gonna be the first to jump off the Eviscerator

and then you guys are gonna have to show me some respect.

The only respect you'll get is respect for the dead.

Come on, Manny, he's not that stupid.

- But I've been wrong before. - Geronimo!

Hey, watch it.

I can't breathe. I think I just coughed up my spleen.

- Diego, retract the claws, please. - Right. Sorry.

If I didn't know you better, Diego, I'd think you were afraid of the water. OK, OK. Good thing I know you better.

Guys.

Fast Tony was right.

Everything is melting.

It's all gonna flood. Come on, we gotta warn them.

Maybe we can rapidly evolve into water creatures.

- That's genius, Sid. - Call me Squid.

This whole thing's a piece ofjunk. I can't believe I live here.

What?

Forget reeds. I present you with this revolutionary gizmo we call bark.

- It's so buoyant, it actually floats. - I'll show you something that floats.

All right, it's your funeral.

See? This is exactly what I'm talking about.

Giants balls of furry lava the size of mammoths raining from the sky.

Go suck air through a reed.

Listen to him. He's right about the flood.

I am? I mean, yes, I am.

Wait. You said there wasn't going to be a flood. Why should we listen to you? Because we saw what's up there. The dam's gonna break.

The entire valley's gonna flood.

Flood's real, all right. And it's coming fast.

Look around. You're in a bowl.

BowI's gonna fill up. Ain't no way out.

What are we gonna do?

Unless you make it to the end of the valley.

There's a boat. It can save you.

- I don't see anything. - But

y'all better hurry.

Ground's melting, walls tumbling, rocks crumbling.

Survive that and you'll be racing the water,

cos in three days' time, it's gonna hit the geyser fields.

Boom!

There is some good news, though.

The more of you die,

the better I eat.

I didn't say it was good news for you.

He must have been a real pleasure to have in class.

Dam.

All right, you heard the scary vulture. Let's move out.

Manny, you really think there's a boat?

I don't know, but in a few days, this place is gonna be underwater. If there's any hope, it's that way.

Manny, let's go.

Overturned glyptodont in the far right lane.

Traffic backed up as far as the eye can see.

And it looks like there might be a fatality.

I call the dark meat.

Come on, everybody, let's go. Come on, come, come, come. Get in. - Come on, Grandpa, come on. - We have to go.

Well, I'm not leaving. I was born in this hole and I'll die in this hole.

Do we have to bring this crap?

- I'm sure there's crap where we're going. - This was a gift from my mother. OK, keep it moving, keep it moving.

Manny, I just heard you're going extinct.

Hey, if you ever master hygiene, try working on sensitivity.

- I'm not going extinct. - Kids, look. The last mammoth.

Well, you probably won't see another one of those again.

See?

OK, one, two, three... Where is James?

Stu. Come on, Stu.

Let's blow this ice-cube stand.

Stu.

Folks, be the first in the valley to have your very own mobile home.

- Shut up, Sid. - OK.

Stop singing, Sid.

Sid, I'm going to fall on you again and this time I will kill you.

OK, someone doesn't like the classics.

What if you're right?

What if I am the last mammoth?

But Manny, look at the bright side, you have us.

Not your most persuasive argument, Sid.

- Mammoths? - I knew I couldn't be the last one.

I felt it in my gut.

Extinct? Come on.

He's up by a couple of fifths, ahead by a tusk.

And he's beating Diego as Diego's coming round the corner. Sorry. My stomach hates me.

Well, don't that put the "stink" in extinction?

Nasty.

Manny.

I need to be alone for a while.

You go on ahead. I'll catch up.

One truly is the loneliest number.

These work great.

Cool.

- Missed me, now you gotta kiss me. - I'll get 'em.

- Which end is up? - I'd hide that face too.

- Hey, ugly. - I gotta sit on that.

Gotcha.

OK, I'm going in.

- Sid. - What?

- Nice miss. - Cover your side.

- I felt some breeze in that one. - Smile.

- Out of my way. - Hello.

Over here.

- Surrender? - Never.

Cool.

Smoke them.

If anyone asks, there were 50 of 'em and they were rattlesnakes.

- Here, kitty, kitty. - Big mistake, you miscreants.

Miscreants?

Diego, they're possums.

Retreat.

I guess it's just you and me now.

I knew it. I knew I wasn't the only one.

Everyone falls out of the tree now and then. They just don't admit it.

Wait. What?

Some of us have a tough time holding on to branches.

It's not like we're bats or something. We don't have wings to keep us up.

And you were in the tree because...?

I was looking for my brothers. They are always in trouble.

Brothers? You mean there's more?

Sure.

- There's lots of us. - Where?

Everywhere. Under rocks. In holes in the ground.

Usually we come out at night so birds don't carry us off.

Help! Help!

Help!

Well, shave me down and call me a mole rat. You found another mammoth. Where? Wait a minute. I thought mammoths were extinct.

- What are you looking at me for? - I don't know. Because you're a mammoth.

Me? Don't be ridiculous. I'm not a mammoth. I'm a possum. Right. Good one. I'm a newt. This is my friend, the badger.

And my other friend, the platypus.

Why do I gotta be the platypus? Make him the platypus.

- This guy giving you trouble, sis? - Sis?

That's right. These are my brothers. Possum, possum, possum.

I don't think her tree goes all the way to the top branch.

Manny, brink of extinction's a bad time to be picky.

Hey, she should come with us.

Are you insane? No way.

OK.

Manny wants me to ask you if you'd like to escape the flood with us. - I'd rather be road kill. - That can be arranged.

Funny. Let me have a little word with my brothers.

Ellie, are you crazy? We're not going with them.

Look, we'll never make it in time if we only travel at night.

These guys can protect us out in the open. What do you say?

Why did you invite them?

Cos you might be the only two mammoths left on Earth.

He has a point.

Sorry, when did I join this dating service?

My brothers and I would be delighted to come with you.

If you treat us nicely.

See that? That's the total opposite of nice.

Maybe we'll have a snack before we hit the road.

You want a piece of us? Let's go.

Banzai!

- I got 'em. - Back! Back!

You know the best part? We're carrying diseases.

OK, thanks to Sid, we're now travelling together.

And like it or not, we're going to be one big, happy family.

I'll be the daddy, Ellie will be the mommy.

And Diego will be the uncle who eats the kids who get on my nerves. Now, let's move it before the ground falls out from under our feet.

I thought fat guys were supposed to be jolly.

I'm not fat. It's this fur, it makes me look big.

- It's poofy. - OK.

He's fat.

Escaping the flood is the perfect time to shed those unsightly pounds with Fast Tony's Disaster Diet.

You, ma'am, you look like a big, fat, hairy beast.

How would you like to lose a ton or two?

Would I ever.

Don't listen to him, Vera. You're already thin as a twig.

I also have the perfect cure for your eyesight, my blind friend.

We'll never make it at this pace.

Ellie, it's OK, you can lose the camouflage. You're safe.

OK. Safe? Please.

Crash, Eddie, you two go scope it out.

- What you got? - Perimeter all clear.

- Roger that. One-niner, over. - Roger, over, victor...

- Guys. - All clear.

Hawk!

- What are you doing? - Playing dead.

- Manny, why don't you do that? - Because I'm a mammoth.

But you'd do it for treats, right?

Is he gone?

You're safe. Get up.

Man.

If you weren't here, that hawk would have swooped down and snatched me for dinner. That's how cousin Wilton went.

Boy, I really feel for you. I do.

I can't even imagine what it'd be like to be the last one of your species.

- I'm not the last one. - You brave, brave soul.

That's right. Don't give up hope.

Ellie.

Look at our footprints.

They're the same shape.

Well, how do I know those aren't your footprints?

Well, then,

look at our shadows.

We match.

You're right. They're the same.

You must be part possum.

You wish.

Diego, there are whole continents moving faster than you.

We gotta catch up with the others.

Hey. Knock it off.

Cry me a river, blubber-tooth tiger. Have some fun.

The ice is thin enough without you two wearing it down.

Diego, come on. The ice may be thin,

but it's strong enough to hold a ten-ton mammoth and a nine-ton possum. Mammal overboard!

Ellie, get up. If you play dead, you'll be dead.

Look at me.

Diego.

Diego.

Come on, Diego. Come on.

This may sting a little.

- What in the animal kingdom was that? - I don't know.

From now on, land - safe, water - not safe.

That was the bravest thing I've ever seen.

- It was nothing. I... - It's not a compliment.

To a possum, bravery is just dumb.

- Yeah, we're spineless. - Lily-livered.

Maybe mammoths are going extinct because they get in danger.

Maybe you should run away more.

Good point. Thanks for the advice.

Happy to help.

Do you believe her? "Bravery is dumb. Maybe you should run away more". She's infuriating and stubborn and narrow-minded.

You like her.

- I do not. - Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me.

- And so is yours. - What secret?

You know, the one where you can't swim.

That's ridiculous.

Fine. But we're living in a melting world.

You're going to have to face your fear sooner or later.

Almost there.

- OK. Ready, Eddie? - Set.

Let's roll.

Wait for me.

No brakes. Gotta roll. Meet you at the other end.

So you think she's the girl for me?

Yeah. She's tons of fun and you're no fun at all.

She completes you.

Yeah.

Hey, Manny. Can you pull back the tree and shoot me into the pond?

- No. - Come on.

You expect to impress with that attitude?

I don't want to impress.

Why are you trying to convince her she's a mammoth?

Because that's what she is. I don't care if she thinks she's a possum. - You can't be two things. - Au contraire, Man-fered.

Tell that to the bullfrog, chicken hawk or turtledove.

He's never gonna let up on you.

It'll be easier on all of us if you just go with it.

So what do you want me to do?

Pull the tree and shoot me into the pond.

I don't know.

If you're too lame to do it, we can get Ellie.

No, no, no. No, I can do it. I can do it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, come on.

- Have you done this before? - Only a million times.

Farther, farther, farther.

Perfect. Fire!

Yeah! I can fly!

Crash!

Crash! Crash!

- Crash, are you OK? - What happened?

- Manny shot him out of a tree. - What's wrong with you?

- He said he could do it. - And you listened to him?

Crash, whatever you do, don't go into the light.

Can I help in any way here?

You've done enough.

- Are you happy now? - Crash, Crash, don't leave me.

Who's gonna watch my back?

Who's gonna be my wingman of mayhem?

Who's gonna roll in that dung patch with me?

Dung patch?

- Wait. My legs. I can stand. - He can stand.

- I can run. - He can run. It's a miracle.

Hallelujah!

What can I say? They're boys. They make my life a little adventure. You guys are so dead. Thanks for embarrassing me.

Not the face.

Ellie, Ellie, me too.

She's not half bad.

Crazy and confused, but sweet.

So?

So what's holding you back?

My family.

You can have that again, you know.

No, Sid, I can't.

OK, OK, but think about it. I mean, if you let this chance go,

you're letting your whole species go and that's just... that's just selfish.

I think I'm starting to get through to him.

- Wait, wait. I got you. - Slowpoke.

- Need help? - No, no. Just catching my breath.

- You're stuck. - I am not.

All right, then, let's go.

I can't.

I'm stuck.

Don't you think that picking them up like this would be easier? Ellie?

I know this place.

You know, deep down, I knew I was different.

I was a little bigger than the other possum kids.

OK, a lot bigger.

Now I understand why the possum boys didn't find me appealing. That's too bad, because as far as mammoths go, you're,

- you know. - What?

Attractive.

- Really? - Sure.

What about me is attractive?

I don't know.

Well, there's your

butt.

What about it?

It's

big.

You're just saying that.

No, no, no, I mean it.

It's huge. Biggest darn butt I've ever seen.

That is really sweet.

What a crazy day.

This morning I woke up a possum and now I'm a mammoth.

Boy, Manny sure took a big leap with Ellie today.

Sure did.

He stood on the shore of uncertainty and dove right in. Splash.

Kind of brave, huh? The way he faced his fear.

I wouldn't know. Sabres don't feel fear.

Come on, all animals feel fear. It's what separates us from, say, rocks. Rocks have no fear.

- And they sink. - What are you getting at, Sid?

It may surprise you to know that I, too, have experienced fear.

No. You?

Yeah. Yes, as impossible as it seems,

the sloth has natural enemies that would like to harm or otherwise "kill" us. - I wonder why? - Jealousy, mostly.

But the point is that fear is natural.

Fear is for prey.

Well, then, you're letting the water make you its prey.

Justjump in and trust your instincts.

You know, most animals can swim as babies.

And for a tiger, it's like crawling on your belly to stalk helpless prey.

But faster, OK? Now, claw, kick, claw, kick.

I'm stalking the prey. Claw, kick.

I look back over my shoulder to see if I'm being followed.

And I'm breathing.

And I'm stalking and I'm stalking and I'm...

- I'm falling. - Correction. You're sinking.

Kind of like a rock.

Hey, do we do any special tricks like roll over?

Or do we just throw our weight around?

Whoops. Sorry.

I don't know my own strength yet.

Ellie, do you realise that now we have a chance to save our species?

- Really? How are we gonna do that? - Well, you know...

Did you just...?

I'm not a mammoth for five minutes and you're hitting on me?

I wasn't saying... Not right now. In time.

I was just saying that it's our responsibility.

What?

All right, that came out wrong. I...

You're very pretty, but we just met...

Responsibility? Just doing your duty? Is that it?

Ready to make the ultimate sacrifice to save your species.

I got some news for you. You're not saving the species tonight or any other night. - So, how did it go? - Not bad.