【雅思作文批改】剑桥写作真题 Test4小作文批改
【雅思作文批改】剑桥写作真题 Test4小作文批改
雅思作文是雅思考试中比较难得分的部分，很多雅思考生在雅思作文上都很头疼，怎么都拿不到好的雅思作文分数，所以大家掌握一些雅思作文模板、雅思作文技巧是非常重要的。为了让大家快速的提高雅思写作成绩，这里跟大家分享关于“【汇总】晟睿教育原创板块：雅思作文批改|雅思作文范文“的相关内容，希望大家耐心的复习，认真的准备，好好总结，到时你会发现，其实要取得雅思作文高分并没有想象中的那么难！更多雅思作文批改请关注晟睿教育-雅思作文批改栏目!
雅思作文题目：剑桥7 Test4小作文
The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
考生原文
The pie graph demonstrates units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.
As we can see in the pie graph, the production of Coal occupied the largest among these sources
in Australia, which increased dramatically from 50 units to 130 units between 1980 and 2000. Except Coal, the Hydro Power went up from 20 units to 36 units in the 2 decades. There was a downward trend of Nature Gas and Oil, bottoming at 2 units in 2000 while the production of Nature Gas was twice of Oil in 1980.
In France, there was a dramatic upward trend of Nuclear Power, peaking at 126 units in 2000. The Coal kept the same at 25 units from 1980 to 2000. At the same time, the Oil increased only 5 units. Surprisingly, the Nature Gas which was 5 times of Hydro Power in 1980(5 units) decreased dramatically, arriving at 2 units in 2000, and Hydro Power had the same production in 2000. To summarize, the total production in Australia and France both increased from 1980 to 2000. (182 words )
雅思作文批改By 晟睿教育 Anna老师
本次批改严格按照IELTS小作文评分标准进行。IELTS小作文评分项：
TR (对提问的回应和主体论证是否切题), CC (连贯性及一致性), GRA (语法范围及精准
度), LR (词汇资源)。
文末会进行总评及打分。
总评分6.0分（ TR6.0 CC5.0 GRA6.0 LR5.5）
1.内容上缺少一些（TA）：这组图看似是动态带时间段，实则是“动静结合”。由于时间太少，单
单写上升下降会显得十分枯燥并且会显得十分的淡薄。详见主体第二段。
2.连接词的运用良好，分段正确。（CC评分项，比较突出）
3.虽然在数据描述上，缺乏“静态”表达的语言，但是运用的词汇，使用准确。
4.语法上可见基本的变化与从句使用，也没有出现许多语法问题。但是弱在变化太少。本篇中多数
的句子都是以类别作为主语，偶尔出现there be的倒装句。可适当多加句型。以上升为例：除了你常用的，还可以说：An increased was reported./ the period witnessed an increase. / XXX experienced an increase.
雅思7分大作文范文批改和解析
雅思7分大作文范文批改和解析 距离雅思写作7分你大概还有3个步骤要走，是的，不是谁都可以轻轻松松活动雅思高分的。今天给大家带来了雅思7分大作范文批改和解析,希望能够帮助到大家，一起来学习吧。 雅思7分大作范文批改和解析 雅思写作提高第一步：结构(5.0 - 5.5) 问题：出国留学的优点(the advantages of disadvantages of study abroad) 同学：One reason for those who decide to go overseas to get a higher degree is that they believe they can get better education in certain fields. That is to say, different universities in different countries have their specialized courses and rich resources can be provided according to their needs and requirements. Another reason is that they can learn a foreign language in a more efficient way. There is no denying that living in an all-round English environment and being affected by local culture make people quick learners. 解析：出国留学和高学历完全是两回事(出去读初中和高中都算出国);出国就是better education，在国内就不是better? 出
雅思写作批改 (18)
Public museums are no longer important because people can see the historical objects and artworks on the computer. To what extent do you agree or disagree? （250words，within 40min） Traditionally, we usually need to travel a long time to a museum just to view several historical objects as well as artworks, but now, some people, however, suggest that museums are not that significant as we are able to search almost all the details of ones if we like. In my opinion, public museums will not remain as a critical role in our lives. Admittedly, it would be of more inconvenience when we have to go to a certain museum to see some objects rather than searching it on the Internet.For one thing, most of the information online is always free and easy to access but if we are required to one museum we have to pay for the transportation fee, the ticket, even a meal near a museum. For another, it might also be a pity if some of the object would not be exhibit all of the time so it is normal to meeta condition that you could not even take a look at one that you really like. Internet, though, never facing this problem so you can view it any time you want. For those organizations who run the museum such as governments, it is costly to open museums as well as exhibiting and protecting all the time. (时间到)They are supposed to protect the historical object and artwork which always worth several millions of dollars for that reason they not only have to employ some super professional security guard in high salariesbut also buy some high tech machine to spy themand it is really a waste of money. What’s worse, if
雅思大作文常用词组
1.依靠：dependon=relyon 2.导致：leadto=cause=resultin 3.源于：resultfrom=stemfrom 4.使用：use=apply 5.利用：takeadvantageof=makeuseof 6.带来：bring=provide=offer=supply 7.努力做：makemosteffortsto=workhardto=striveto 8.花时间做：spendtime/money/energy/lifeonsth/doingsth 9.专注于：focuson=payattentionto=concentrateto 10.分心/打扰： distractsbfromsth=disturbsb/sth=interruptsb/sth=obsesssbwithsthdistraction=diver sion=disturbance 11.起到作用：servetodo=playarole in doing = have a function to do = make a contribution to (对……做出贡献) 12.目的是：attempt to do = have an intention to do/of = have a purpose to do/of = have an objective to do/of = aim at doing/sth 13.为了：in order to do = for the purpose of doing/sth = with the view of doing/sth 14.有利于：bring benefits to = be benefitial to = bring advantages to 15.有害于：bring harms to = damage sth = ruin sth = undermine sth = be harmful to/for = be detrimental to/for 16.威胁到：endanger sb/sth = risk sb/sth = threaten sb/sth = place sb/sth into the danger/risk/threat 17.影响：have (positive/negative) effects/influence/impacts on sth 18.强调：stress = emphasize 19.忽略：ignore = neglect = overlook 20.联系：connect to/with = communicate with = contact to/with = have an access to = associate with(和……相关) 21.处理：deal with = cope with = handle = tackle 22.避免/预防/远离：keep A from B = prevent A from B = A avoid B = A refrain from B = A be away from B
雅思5分 剑桥7 Test1 小作文范文
雅思5分剑桥7 Test1 小作文范文 学生原文： The graph shows the total number of fish and different kinds of meat in a European country from 1979 to 2004. In this graph, we can see the consumption of chicken experienced a erratic rise of almost 100 Grans per person per week during 25 years. Then, the consumption of fish always rank the last. And the consumption of the Lamp underwent a erratic decline from 1976 to 2004. In the spite of the fact that from 1979 to 1984 withnessed a wild fluctuation rise in consumption of Beef, when it experienced a sharply decline over last 20 years. While the consumption of chicken underwent a erratic rise from 1979 to 2004. After that, the consumption of fish almost remain the same level at 50 grans per person per week in 25 years. And subsequently, the comsuption of lamb showed a moderate decline, dropping by almost 50 Grans per person per week in 25 years, and the consumption of chicken surpassed it in the early 5 years.
雅思作文批改---经典版 (3)
Some people think that robots are very important to human’s future development. Others thought that they are dangerous and have negative effects on the society. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of the robots. The pros and cons of technology development have long attracted considerable public attention for they are closely connected with human life. Some people argue that robotic technology can be very harmful and has the potential to destroy social stability. However, sound and attractive as their arguments may seem, I am still convince that there are more advantages than disadvantages of robots. With the assistance of robots, one can enjoy a more convenient life thus will have more time to accompany his family. For example, if robots can help mothers with gardening and laundry, they will have more time to spend with their kids, which is essential for the mental and physical development of children as well as the harmoness of the family. Healthy family relationship will undoubtly result in a better society eventually, then all of us should thank for the robot. Moreover, the significance of robots is also because they are important supplement or substitution of human labor. For some dangerous job, such as deep well mining and electric work, using robots instead of human will improve the safety rate and efficiency substancially without causing any injury. People who relase from the high pressure of dangerous work can enjoy a better life. However, it is also true to some extent that robots can influent the society in a negative way. For example, crime may become easier and more frequently with the help of high technology; and the substitution of human labor may result in the increasing of unemployment and extend to the decline of economy. However, these problems can be solved by education. A proper education means that people will obtain more useful skills and knowledge. It also means that they will become more reliable people who can take responsibility for the society, and these purpose, excitingly, can be achieved in an earlier day with the help of robots. To sum up, robots can help human enjoy a more convenient and safer life. They may have negative effects but we can always fix the problems by education. 总点评：
雅思写作常用连接词2
在雅思写作的四大评分标准当中，连贯性与衔接性是其中的一项评分标准，连贯性与衔接性其中一方面就是用连接手段（即连接词）来实现的。连接词本身是非常繁琐的知识，在教授连接词时也会遇到很多困难，那么学连接词首先把连接词词性掌握并掌握各词性的用法，学连接词就简便得多。朗阁海外考试研究中心分析认为，连接词大体可分为四种词性：连词，副词，介词和短语，它们各自的用法又不一样。 连词 如but, and,后接句子，连接并列句时前面逗号可有可无。当然连词也可放句首，这一点在考官范文里有很多体现。 例：In the past, populations were partly regulated by frequent war and widespread disease, but in recent years the effects of those factors have been diminished. (并列句中的连词) 段落开始：But how should it be achieved ( 连词放句首) 介词 如before, despite：后接名词或动名词 例：Before talking about the essential role of death penalty, you have to think about the meaning, and the purpose, of any kind of punishment. 副词 副词连接并列句，前面用句号或分号，后面用逗号（当然，如果副词前用句号，那就是另起一句了，不称之为并列句） 例：In many places today, children start primary school at around the age of six or seven. However, because it is more likely now that both parents work, there is little opportunities for children to stay in their own home up to that age.( 副词另起一句) The crime rate is increasingly high; therefore, the government needs to enforce more laws to curb this situation. ( 副词在并列句中) 短语 如on the contrary, in addition：用法和副词用法完全一样 例：They feel this is one area of life where they have the right to make decisions for themselves. For that reason, it would seem that the best approach would be work by persuasion rather than compulsion. The government plays a crucial role in scientific research; on the other hand, private companies hold certain advantages in conducting scientific research. ( 短语在并列句中) 掌握连接词的四大词性及用法以后，连接词的教学和运用就容易展开。我们可以参看考官范文，看看各类关系的时候考官如何使用连接词，使文章凸显出来。 因果关系 根据词性及用法可归结于: because / since/ as / for, so (连词), because of/ due to / owing to/ as a result of (介词) for that reason/as a result/ therefore/ accordingly (短语和副词) 例：I think the amount of waste produced is also as a result of our tendency to use sth once and throw it away. （可代替词汇because of/ due to / owing to）
雅思大作文批改范例4
Some people think government should pay for public libraries in every town, while others think itis a waste of money because people can access information from the internet. Discuss both viewsand give your own opinion. It is argued that government should invest more money in public libraries; the other people believe that we can search the information from the internet, so government should not cost money in public libraries. I agree with this idea. Surfing on the internet is the fashion way to search information in modern life, there are a lot of people use computer or mobile phone to find some information on the internet. It is because people believe that internet is the most convenient platform to find the key. People can get all the information they want effectively, rather than go to the library cost a large amount of time to read book. On the other handthe books in libraries are though many times of check and reserve, that can ensure the authority of every book. So some people would like to go to library to read the book and find the truth. Especially in medical book, if doctor find some information is wrong, it will affect the patient who was saved by the doctor. Considering the
(完整word版)雅思大作文常用词汇替换
雅思大作文常用词汇替换 大家都知道，写雅思作文的时候有个很大的问题就是腹中纵有千言万语，表达出来却都是小学词语。词汇量是拦路虎，但是要克服它却不是一朝一夕的事情。怎么办呢，最高效的办法就是背诵老师们精挑细选出来的常用替换词语了。下面的单词是我们单词系列里的第一部分，针对所有话题的大总结，也是最最常用的。每组里第一个单词是大家最常用的，后面的单词是它的替换词。需要注意的是，每个词的意思还是有小小的区别与常见的搭配，这点也是我给班上的学生讲解的重点，自己备考的同学可以通过查字典和例句来体会这些单词用法的区别。 1.people n. individuals, men, human beings, humanity 2.solve v. resolve, tackle, address, deal with 3.reason n. cause, 4.destroy v. ruin, devastate, harm(伤害), 5.influence, n. effect, impact v. affect 6.dangers n. hazards, perils 7.obvious adj. apparent, evident, manifest 8.good adj. beneficial, positive, meaningful, desirable, 9.bad adj. harmful, negative, baneful 10.famous adj. well-known, prominent, eminent, fame n., reputation n. 11.big adj. huge, vast, enormous, tremendous, immense 12.main adj. major, dominant, predominant, 13.poor adj. deprived, impoverished, poverty n. 14.rich adj. well-off, wealthy, affluent, prosperous +country/economy 15.enough adj. sufficient, adequate, abundant 16. a lot of, a host of, a great deal of +可数/不可数名词 a vast number of +可数 a large amount of + 不可数提示: great, vast, large可以互换位置 17.advantage n. benefit, merit, strong point 18.disadvantage n. drawback, weakness, weak point 19.improve v. enhance, boost, promote, augment, 20.claim v. argue, insist, assert, 21.agree with v. conform to, accord with 22.disagree with v. oppose to, be against 23.ban v. forbid, prohibit prohibition n. 24.obstruct v. hinder, impede obstruction n. obstacle barrier
慎小嶷 《十天突破雅思写作》总结2
General Knowledge 注意： 1. 作文要有实质内容。 2. 6分：260~270个词左右；6.5分：280个词以上。 3. 没有必要一定写长难句，但要提高句子的准确度和多样性。必须在对英语造句知识准确理解和把握的基础上流畅地写出复杂的长句子，而不是刻意、机械地拉长句子。（准确、严密、多样、清晰） 4. 对于零星出现的少量拼写错误，只要不引起歧义，是不会导致严重扣分的，但要努力减少作文里出现拼写错误的可能。 5. 考场里没有时间打草稿，但可以在印考题的试题纸上把看到题目后头脑里闪现出的ideas、考前准备的相关加分词汇和句型大致记录一下。 6. 当考官要求停笔时即使还没有写完也一定要停下来，否则会被判为违纪行为。 7. 考前练习一定要尽可能模拟实战：下载标准格式的答题纸；用铅笔写作，每行10~12个单词；严格控制时间，Task 1不应超过25 min，Task 2不应超过45 min。备考初期，可将Task 1和Task 2分开练习，但在考前一周内，必须演练完整的写作考试全程，严格控制时间，写完后再核对或请有经验的老师批改。 8.
如果Task 2准备得较为充分，有信心在40min写出一篇自己满意的议论文，那么就先完成Task 2。反之，就先写Task 1。 9. 齐头式：每段开头顶格写，每两段之间空一行 缩入式：每段开头后退3~4个字母的距离，每个段落之间不空行 10. 可使用I/we、被动语态，但不宜滥用；可将But/So放在句首 11. 7分或以上的作文对于用词的要求是准确，而不是冗长 ?Topics ?学术类写作的特殊要求 1. 不接受缩写形式 2. 不使用非正式口语表达 3. 英美拼写不能混淆 4. 用词要有特色 5. 句式不能过于短促 6. 句式不能过于干瘪 7. 感情色彩不能过于强烈
雅思6.5分 小作文范文参考
●批改By Will 本次批改严格按照ILETS小作文评分标准进行。ILETS小作文评分项：TA (内容的完整性), CC (连贯性及一致性), GRA (语法范围及精准度), LR (词汇资源)。文末会进行总评及打分。 ●文中标识： 用词不当逻辑错误语法错误修改添加 The graph provides the information concerning the average temperatures on a month basis in three major cities.(介于有两张图，都要提一下。此后可加一句：In addition, clearly demonstrated in the table are the time of sunshine on an annual base.) (补充：在下一段看到了你对于后一张图的总结，这样的话建议你在开头强调一下“the first graph”) As can be seen from the graph, there is a similar trend in terms of average monthly temperature between London and New York during the period from January to December. (可加入连接词：To be specific) The average temperature in London (介于你后面写的是两个城市的数据，这里改为：for both of the cities) gradually rises from January to July both in London and new york, reaching a peak at 25 degrees and 20 degrees respectively. After that, the following 4 months witness a dramatic decrease both in London and new york. In comparison (这里不妨分段), an opposite trend is found in Sydney. It (这是悉尼的第一句，建议写出来具体的量词至少：The temperature) keeps stable at 25 degrees from January to march, after which the average temperature undergoes a considerable descent, reaching the bottom point at approximately 15 degrees, before there is (there is 没必要了，可以去除) a steady ascent by 10 degrees. It is obvious that the table depicts the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities. As we can see from the statistics, when it comes to the total annual hours of sunshine, new york ranks first, followed by Sydney ,London lies last. Specifically, people who live in new york enjoy 2,353 hours of sunshine every year, which is similar to people living in London with 2,473 hours (不是人和人像，是时间长短像，改为：which is similar to the amount of sunshine for those in London). However, only 1,180 hours of sunshine are found in London annually. 总评6.5（TA6.5 CC6.5 LR6.5 GRA7.0） 1.语法变化上从句数量可以了，分词的使用还可以多一些。偶尔试试一到两句倒装，如我在开头给你的那个。 2.趋势等词汇变化可以，试着多换换题目话题词汇，如people=residents=citizens
雅思作文常用动词
Make sense 合理In today’s media, some reports simply do not make any sense. Interestingly, people just keep listening to or reading them. Make up for 弥补To the master, no amount of money can make up for the death of a pet. Opt for sth./ opt to do sth. 选择（去做某事）Due to the stiff competition at work, an increasing number of people have opted for early retirement. Participate in 参与Parents should encourage their children to participate in group discussions as that will make children more co-operative individuals. Refrain from 克制（不去做某事）It would be difficult for children to refrain from playing a video game once they get addicted to it. Differ from 与…不同This product differs from other products in cost and performance.
G类5.5分雅思大作文范文
1.作文题目 School age children and teenagers usually like to do the same things as their friends but parents often have a different idea about what their children should be doing. Should parents always decide how children spend their free time? 2.学生作文 Many school children and teenagers always do the similar stuff together, while their parents usually have different opinions about what their children should do. From my perspective, I think parents should not always decide the free time of children. To begin with, generation gap is a significant problem which happens between parents and children. It is inevitable that children will have different thoughts with their parents. Secondly, as children, they are living in a modern and developing world, which makes them change their minds frequently. However, many parents are quite reluctant to accept new ideas and technologies. Therefore, their views will be dissimilar with their children, which are really impossible to reach an agreement. At last, children prefer trying out new adventurous challenges, whereas their parents are rigid and only want stable life. So parents cannot really control and decide for their children. Furthermore, the ideas of parents are not quite always correct and sometime might mislead their children. Of course, there is no doubt that old people have more life experiences and can handle any difficult situations in most of time. However, the modern world is not as they think as it used to be, so they might under-estimate some circumstances which might have negative effects on their children. For example, most parents believe that as long as their children can obtain higher degrees from universities will definitely have better future. Contrasty, in reality, the abilities and moral standards of children are much more important than just only university degrees. In conclusion, parents should let children to create their own world and give them freedom to assign their leisure time, which might lead them to success eventually. Words: 279 3.老师批改： 文中标识： 用词不当逻辑错误语法错误修改添加 Many school children and teenagers always do the similar stuff together, while their parents usually have different opinions about what their children should do. From my perspective, I think parents should not always decide the free time of children. To begin with, generation gap is a significant problem, which happens between parents and children. It is inevitable that children will have different thoughts with from their parents. For instance, they have their own preference to choosing majors, careers or even the ways of living. (cc：这里需要给出一点他们怎么个不同，比如选未来的职业或者生活等。) Secondly, as
雅思大作文批改范例8复习课程
雅思大作文批改范例 8
精品文档 Some people think that personal happiness s directly related to economic success. Others argue that happiness depends on different factors. Discuss both views and give your own opinion What is the key to access to happiness has aroused people's interest. Some people claim that money plays a vital role in gaining happiness, while others think that there are a variety of elements constricting to it. Personally, I agree with the latter opinion. Money provides people with more opportunities to pursue happiness, because economic success can make it possible for people to enhance their quality of life. By purchasing expensive jewels, luxury house, sports car, etc. without worries of monetary pressure, wealthy person can enjoy better living standards than that of ordinary people. When financial pressure and life stress do not exist in one’s life, he or she is likely to have less worry and have rich entertainment, thereby achieving the access to happiness. Although fortune is significant to obtain happiness, there are also many other factors form important parts of eudemonia. An active lifestyle can prompt people's spiritual treasure. This means that people can receive happiness by having a healthy life, warm relatives and intimate friends. These valuable factors enable people have a positive attitude to tackle difficulties and enjoy a happy Iife. As far as I am concerned, happiness cannot always be purchased by money. Rich material life sometimes could cause negative impact on achieving happiness. It is noteworthy that numerous of wealthy people who have affluent possessions, in contrast, have often ended up in a sick lifestyle. This makes them suffer from sickness, lonely and desperation, in the light of fact that money is no guarantee of happiness. To summarize, financial success could give people an ease Iife to enjoy happiness. However, without an active lifestyle and spiritual treasure, happiness will not be sustainably maintained. 总点评： 本篇文章得分: 6.5 收集于网络，如有侵权请联系管理员删除