十个愚人节经典英文笑话

十个愚人节经典英文笑话
十个愚人节经典英文笑话

The Swiss Spaghetti Harvest

The respected BBC news show Panorama announced that thanks to a very mild winter and the virtual elimination of the dreaded spaghetti weevil, Swiss farmers were enjoying a bumper spaghetti crop. It accompanied this announcement with footage of Swiss peasants pulling strands of spaghetti down from trees. Huge numbers of viewers were taken in. Many called the BBC wanting to know how they could grow their own spaghetti tree. To this the BBC diplomatically replied, "place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best."

Sid Finch

Sports Illustrated published a story about a new rookie pitcher who planned to play for the Mets. His name was Sidd Finch, and he could reportedly throw a baseball at 168 mph with pinpoint accuracy. This was 65 mph faster than the previous record. Surprisingly, Sidd Finch had never even played the game before. Instead, he had mastered the "art of the pitch" in a Tibetan monastery under the guidance of the "great

poet-saint Lama Malarias." Mets fans celebrated their teams' amazing luck at having found such a gifted player, and Sports Illustrated was flooded with requests for more information. In reality this legendary player only existed in the imagination of the author of the article, George

Plimpton。

Instant Color TV

In 1962 there was only one TV channel in Sweden, and it broadcast in black and white. The station's technical expert, Knell Stemson, appeared on the news to announce that, thanks to a new technology, viewers could convert their existing sets to display color reception. All they had to do was pull a nylon stocking over their TV screen. Stemson proceeded to demonstrate the process. Thousands of people were taken in. Regular color broadcasts only commenced in Sweden on April 1, 1970.

The Taco Liberty Bell

The Taco Bell Corporation announced it had bought the Liberty Bell and was renaming it the Taco Liberty Bell. Hundreds of outraged citizens called the National Historic Park in Philadelphia where the bell was housed to express their anger. Their nerves were only calmed when Taco Bell revealed, a few hours later, that it was all a practical joke. The best line of the day came when White House press secretary Mike McCurry was asked about the sale. Thinking on his feet, he responded that the Lincoln Memorial had also been sold. It would now be known, he said, as the Ford Lincoln Mercury Memorial。

San Sherriff

The British newspaper The Guardian published a special seven-page supplement devoted to San Sherriff, a small republic said to consist of several semi-colon-shaped islands located in the Indian Ocean. A series of articles affectionately described the geography and culture of this obscure nation. Its two main islands were named Upper Cuisse and Lower Cuisse. Its capital was Bodoni, and its leader was General Pica. The Guardian's phones rang all day as readers sought more information about the idyllic holiday spot. Only a few noticed that everything about the island was named after printer's terminology。

Nixon for President

1992: National Public Radio's Talk of the Nation program announced that Richard Nixon, in a surprise move, was running for President again. His new campaign slogan was, "I didn't do anything wrong, and I won't do it again." Accompanying this announcement were audio clips of Nixon delivering his candidacy speech. Listeners responded viscerally to the announcement, flooding the show with calls expressing shock and outrage. Only during the second half of the show did the host John Huckleberry reveal that the announcement was a practical joke. Nixon's voice was impersonated by comedian Rich Little.

Alabama Changes the Value of Pi

The April 1998 issue of the New Mexicans for Science and Reason newsletter contained an article claiming that the Alabama state legislature had voted to change the value of the mathematical constant pi from

3.14159 to the 'Biblical value' of 3.0. Soon the article made its way onto the internet, and then it rapidly spread around the world, forwarded by email. It only became apparent how far the article had spread when the Alabama legislature began receiving hundreds of calls from people protesting the legislation. The original article, which was intended as a parody of legislative attempts to circumscribe the teaching of evolution, was written by physicist Mark Bo slough.

The Left-Handed Whopper

1998: Burger King published a full page advertisement in USA Today announcing the introduction of a new item to their menu: a "Left-Handed Whopper" specially designed for the 32 million left-handed Americans. According to the advertisement, the new whopper included the same ingredients as the original Whopper (lettuce, tomato, hamburger patty, etc.), but all the condiments were rotated 180 degrees for the benefit of their left-handed customers. The following day Burger King issued a follow-up release revealing that although the Left-Handed Whopper was a hoax, thousands of customers had gone into restaurants to request the new sandwich. Simultaneously, according to the press release, "many

others requested their own 'right handed' version."

Hotheaded Naked Ice Borers

Discover Magazine reported that the highly respected wildlife biologist Dr. April Pizza had found a new species in Antarctica: the hotheaded naked ice borer. These fascinating creatures had bony plates on their heads that, fed by numerous blood vessels, could become burning hot, allowing the animals to bore through ice at high speeds. They used this ability to hunt penguins, melting the ice beneath the penguins and causing them to sink downwards into the resulting slush where the hotheads consumed them. After much research, Dr. Pizza theorized that the hotheads might have been responsible for the mysterious disappearance of noted Antarctic explorer Philippe Poisson in 1837. "To the ice borers, he would have looked like a penguin," the article quoted her as saying. Discover received more mail in response to this article than they had received for any other article in their history.

Planetary Alignment Decreases Gravity

The British astronomer Patrick Moore announced on BBC Radio 2 that at 9:47 AM a once-in-a-lifetime astronomical event was going to occur that listeners could experience in their very own homes. The planet Pluto would pass behind Jupiter, temporarily causing a gravitational alignment that would counteract and lessen the Earth's own gravity. Moore told his

listeners that if they jumped in the air at the exact moment that this planetary alignment occurred, they would experience a strange floating sensation. When 9:47 AM arrived, BBC2 began to receive hundreds of phone calls from listeners claiming to have felt the sensation. One woman even reported that she and her eleven friends had risen from their chairs and floated around the room.

愚人节英文笑话短信

愚人节英文笑话短信 joke 1 wife talking to her husband (who reads newspaper all day): i wish i w ere a newspaper so i’ll be in your hands all day. husband: i wish that too, so i could change you daily joke 2 a little boy asked his father: daddy, how much does it cost to get ma rried? the father replied: i don ’t know son. i ’m still paying!! joke 3 at midnight father saw that his married son leaving home... he asks h im: what are you doing? the son replied: dad i am fed up with my life! my newly marriage is n ot going well, my wife and my mom keep fighting with each other! i ha ve to pay bills for my in- laws, and i hate this life!!! i want to go far from here, i want to t aste every joy of life, and i want to have every fun of life!!! father said: wait!!!!!!!! i am coming with you joke 4

愚人节整人小故事

愚人节整人小故事 篇一:愚人节整人笑话 愚人节整人笑话 1、一个消化不良的病人向医生抱怨:我近来很不正常,吃什么拉什么,吃黄瓜拉黄瓜,吃西瓜拉西瓜,怎样才能恢复正常呢?医生沉默片刻,那你只能吃屎了。 2、说你白痴你还认识字,说你傻瓜你还知道生气,说你笨蛋你还知道回短信,说你木头你还知道看手机!祝你愚人节快乐! 3、下班就回家的是穷鬼,9点回家的是酒鬼,11点回家的是色鬼,2-3点回家的是赌鬼,不回家的是野鬼! 4、一天咱俩来到一口许愿井旁,我弯下腰许了一个愿还往井里扔个硬币,你也想许愿但你弯腰时不小心翻入井里,我被惊呆了,喃喃自语道:还真灵嘿! 5、骏马啊,它有四条腿,大海啊,它全是水,看手机的傻子啊,他咧着嘴! 6、难道风真的进了我的眼?难道你真的伤了我的心?我真的哭了耶!怎么会这样?!眼泪止不住地流,更有一种莫明的伤痛——你这个该死的洋葱! 7、人人都赞你帅,可知人家只是说你衰!大家都封你为偶像,可知那仅是呕吐的对象!真不知是因为错手制造了你才制造愚人节,还是因

为担心愚人节没人过才制造你! 8、沙僧说我有16变!八戒说我有32变!悟空说我有72变!唐僧大怒:西天路上没见变个电话,人家妖怪都拿手机看短信呢!愚人节快乐! 9、我知道你讲卫生,每次上完厕所都要洗手,而且洗得很仔细。突然一次你没洗,我很奇怪:怎么没洗手?你答曰:这次俺带纸了!愚人节快乐! 10、我说:每想你一次星星就落下一滴泪,大海就是这样形成的。你说:每想我一次你就放一个屁,臭氧层就是这样形成的。愚人节快乐! 11、这是我手机能发的最后一条短信了,最后这条最珍贵的我留给了你,因为有句话我一直想对你说,却没有说出口--帮我充值吧! 12、你都20多了,有些事情也该让你知道了!天,是用来刮风下雨地;地,是用来长花长草地;我,是用来证明人类是多么伟大地;而你呢,就是用来炖粉条地。 13、你长得很抽象!你长得很朦胧!你长得很模糊!你长得很??诡异啊!饶了我吧,我实在描绘不出你的样子,我真没见过鬼。 14、寒冬的早晨,你在池中奋力地划水,蛙泳、仰泳、蝶泳、自由泳,还有令人折服倾倒的潜泳!岸上的老汉急了:“我考!你喝干了粪池子,不让俺种地了!” 广阔的天空任你高飞,美丽的故事由你发挥,善良的小孩应该去追,幽默的短消息发给小乌龟!!! 你以后不要再喝醉了,昨天又有人看到你端着个酒杯追着一头猪,嘴里还大叫:是不是兄弟?是兄弟的干了!

五年级英语笑话

A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了?” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。“你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?” “她是个卖糖果的。” Nest and Hair My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom. "What kind of bird?" my sister asked. "I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child. "Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her . "Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. " Notes: (1) inform v.告诉 (2) nest n.窝;巢 (3) description n.描述 (4) encourage v.鼓励 (5) resemble v. 相似;类似 18.鸟窝与头发 我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外的树上垒了个窝。 “是什么鸟呢?”我姐姐问她。 “我没看到鸟儿,老师,只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。 “那么,你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗?”我姐姐鼓励她道。 “哦,老师,就像你的头发一样。” I've Just Bitten My Tongue

最新整理经典的英语幽默的笑话汇总

经典的英语幽默的笑话汇总 每一个国家都有自己的幽默,那我们今天就来看看英国的幽默把,小编给大家分享一下英语笑话,来一起看看学习吧 英语的幽默经典笑话 M y S i s t e r s F i n g e r s T e a c h e r:K e v i n,w h y a r e y o u l a t e t h i s t i m e? K e v i n:P l e a s e s i r,I b r u i s e d t w o f i n g e r s k n o c k i n g i n a n a i l a t h o m e. T e a c h e r:I d o n t s e e a n y b a n d a g e s. K e v i n:O h,t h e y w e r e n t m y f i n g e r s!I t o l d m y l i t t l e s i s t e r t o h o l d t h e n a i l. 我妹妹的手指头 老师:凯温,这次你怎么又迟到了? 凯温:对不起,老师,我在家钉钉子,砸坏了两个手指头。 老师:怎么没有扎绷带呀? 凯温:噢,砸的不是我的手指头,我叫小妹妹扶着钉子的。 幽默的英语搞笑笑话

L i g h t n i n g T e a c h e r:W h y i s i t s a i d t h a t l i g h t n i n g n e v e r s t r i k e s t h e s a m e p l a c e t w i c e? R o y:B e c a u s e a f t e r i t s s t r u c k o n c e t h e s a m e p l a c e i s n t t h e r e a n y m o r e! 闪电 老师:为什么说闪电从来不会两次击中同一个地方? 罗伊:因为它击中一个地方一次以后,那个地方就不存在了。 有关英语的笑话参考 T h e C l i m a t e o f N e w Z e a l a n d T e a c h e r:M a t t h e w,w h a t i s t h e c l i m a t e o f N e w Z e a l a n d? M a t t h e w:V e r y C o l d,s i r. T e a c h e r:W r o n g. M a t t h e w:B u t,s i r!W h e n t h e y s e n d u s m e a t i t a l w a y s a r r i v e s f r o z e n! 新西兰的气候 老师:马修,新西兰的气候怎么样? 马修:先生,那里的天气很冷。

2018中译英愚人节笑话精选

中译英愚人节笑话精选 1.whyarepeopletiredonaprilfool'sday?(愚人节人们为什么疲倦?) 答:becausetheyhavejusthadalongmarch.(因为他们刚过了长长的三月。march三月;行军) 2.whatweatherdomiceandratsfear?(老鼠害怕什么天气?) 答:whenit'srainingcatsanddogs.(下大雨。raincatsanddogs下大雨) 3.whendodogsrefusetofollowtheirmasters?(狗什么时候不愿跟随主人?) 答:whentheirmastersgotothefleamarket.(主人去跳蚤市场时。flea 跳蚤fleamarket旧货市场) 4.whatquestioncanXneverbeansweredby“yes”?(哪个问题永远不能回答“是的”?) 答:areyouasleep?(你睡着了吗) 5.whattreeisalwaysverysad?(哪种树总是很伤心?) 答:weepingwillow.(垂柳weep哭泣willow柳树) 6.whencanyougetwaterwithanet?(什么时候可以用网兜装水?) 答:whenwateristurnedintoice.(当水结成冰时) 7.whyisthepigalwayseating?猪为什么没完没了地吃? 答:he'smakingahogofhimself.它想成为一只肉猪。 8.what'sthelongestwordintheworld?世界上最长的单词是什么? - 1 -

愚人节整人方法英语

愚人节整人方法英语 篇一:愚人节整人方法 愚人节整人方法 1、有两句话一直很想对你说,今天终于提起勇气:第一句,我爱你我好喜欢你;第二句,千万不要把第一句当真! 2、愚人节,我被人愚,我在厕所,无纸,速来救急! 3、把夹心饼拆封,小心地拨开两片饼干,去掉原来的夹心,拿出牙膏挤出适量至饼中,然后将之放至明显处,自然而然就有人光顾品尝了。 4、买瓶可乐,喝掉一半后,掺入醋、酱油、盐等佐料,精心调制一份色泽正常的怪味可乐。遇到熟人就大方地把可乐递上去。 5、甲:除了人什么动物最爱问“为什么”?乙:不知道。甲:是猪!乙:为什么?哈!!! 篇二:小学生愚人节整人方法 小学生愚人节整人方法 女的:你买一个很漂亮的礼物盒,然后你就将恐吓的物品)(或动物)放入盒子里,送给她。 用502胶水把一元钱银币粘在校园的路中间,让人一眼看见,然后在有人过来时候躲起来,如果那人发现了钱,并使劲在“捡”的时候,就跳出来说愚人节快乐..嘻嘻~好玩吧..

1.随便找3个东西,比如3个杯子吧,你敲第一个时让你的朋友说“忘”,敲第二个说“情”,第三个说“水”,美其名曰测试你朋友的反映速度,几次之后,不停的敲第一个,你的朋友如果跟着说“忘,忘,忘,忘,汪,汪,汪,汪,汪,??”呵呵,效果就出来了。 2.甲:给你讲个故事,从前有个傻子,别人问他什么他都说“没有”,比如问他你吃饭了吗?他说“没有”,你叫什么?他说“没有”。唉,对了,你听过这个故事么?乙:没有。????$(:愚人节整人方法英语)#@!#文干扰你。然后,你指中指说鱼,她会说m,你指无名指说驴,她会说S,然后在指拇指说猪,她会说a,然后一直点拇指说猪,她会一直说:a,a,a,a,a,a,如果mm聪明可以多试其他的手指之后再说拇指 4.猪的英语拼写是PUG吧?--不对,是PiG--不是吧,我怎么记得是U(YoU)呀--你弄错了,是i--猪是YoU--猪是i 5.大变活人具体内容:你可以与你最好的朋友玩这个游戏,名字叫:大变活人。叫你的朋友先扎个马步,姿势要正确,嘴里叼张白纸,注意这是发功前的姿势,接着你要把他从这个房间变到另一房间,一切准备就绪,你可以很无奈的说上这么一句话:“大变活人嘛!我是不会了,不过活人大便就是这样。” 6.先在钢笔上图上“风油精”,不要太多。然后去给一个人:请帮我写个X 字,我忘了怎么写了。他用此钢笔写完后,右手几根手指自然就有风油精了。

英文幽默笑话

1.猫和老鼠 ——Mrs Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a small box with holes punched in the top. ——" What's in your box?" asked the friend. ——"A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them." ——"But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend. ——"So is the cat," whispered Mrs Brown. 布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友,她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。“盒子里装的是什么?”朋友问道。“一只小猫,”布朗夫人回答说,“你知道我晚上睡觉总梦见老鼠,我非常害怕。这只猫可以抓住那些老鼠。”“可老鼠都是假想的呀。”朋友说。“小猫也是假想的。”布朗夫人小声说道。 2.Reached Shore Fast 快速靠岸 A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to

经典英文笑话故事带翻译大全

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