英语幽默笑话故事带翻译
英语经典幽默笑话及翻译
英语经典幽默笑话及翻译笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。
在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。
下面店铺为大家带来英语经典幽默笑话及翻译，希望大家喜欢!英语经典幽默笑话1：There was once a large，fat woman who had a small，thin husband. He had a job in a big company and was given his weekly wages every Friday evening. As soon as he got home on Fridays，his wife used to make hirn give her all his money，and then she used to give him back only enough to buy his lunch in the office every day.曾有一位块儿大、膘肥的女人，她的丈夫却是瘦小、干瘪。
丈夫是在一家大公司做事。
每到周五晚上领到工资，也正是周五这位丈夫回家时，老婆就让他把所有钱都交出来，然后再给他一点儿在办公室吃午饭的钱。
One day the small man came home very excited. He hurried into the living-room. His wife was listening to the radio and eating chocolates.”You'll never guess what happened to me today，dear,"he said. He waited for a few seconds and then added:“I won ten thousand pounds on the lottery!”一天，这位小丈夫回到家，兴奋得不得了。
他匆匆忙忙地来到起居室。
短篇英语笑话10则带翻译
短篇英语笑话10则带翻译①Goldfish金鱼Stan: I won 92 goldfish.Fred: Where are you going to keep them?Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛）them!===================================================================斯丹：我赢了92 条金鱼。
弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！②The Revenge 欺骗的代价Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Johnson: "But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!"===================================================================老农约翰逊就要死了。
他的家人都站在床边。
他声音低沉地对妻子说：“我死后，我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。
” 妻子说：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁给任何人。
搞笑英文笑话加翻译大全
搞笑英文笑话加翻译篇四
Bill,Jim,and Scott were at a convention together
比尔，吉姆，和史考特一起参加一场会议，
and were sharing a large suite on the top of a 75story sky-scraper.
“位墓园管理员在巡视的时候，看见一名男子躺在坟墓上，
sobbing loudly and pounding his fits on the ground,
大声哭泣，并且用他的拳头重重地敲打地面.他悲痛地说：
"Why did you have to die?Oh,why?Why?Why?"he lamented.
到了仪式的尾声，正当抬棺材的人要将棺材抬出之际。
when they accidentlly bump into a wall,jurring the casket.
他们一不小心撞到了一面墙壁，摇动了棺材。
They hear faint太约一年十四万左右吧，要视整体福利而定。”
The interviewer said,"Well ,what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation,
面试主管说：“嗯，五个礼拜的假期，
14 paid holidays,full medical and dental,
剩下的路程史考特可以说些悲哀的故事。
At the 26th floor bill stopped telling jockes and Jim began to sing,
到了二十六层 ，比尔停止说笑话，吉姆开始唱歌。
英语笑话爆笑带翻译
英语笑话爆笑带翻译英语笑话大全爆笑带翻译（通用5篇）冷笑话是近几年出现的一个新词,也是一种出现在我们身边的不可忽视的新的语言现象。
下面店铺整理了英语笑话大全爆笑带翻译（通用5篇），希望大家喜欢!英语笑话爆笑带翻译篇1河上漂流(中英)A man is walking past a travel agents office when he notices a billboard announcing, "4 day cruise down the Murray River $40 all inclusive.”一个男人路过旅行社时，看到一个广告栏上面写着“顺着墨累河漂流四天，全部费用只需40美元”。
Impressed by the low price, he races into the shop, slaps $40 onto the counter and announces, "I' m here for the Murray cruise.” Quick as a wink, the travel agent whips out a baseball bat and knocks him unconscious.面对如此低价的诱惑，他大步走进旅行社把40美元往桌上一拍，然后说:“我报名墨累河之游。
”眨眼间，旅行社的店员抽出一根棒球棍，一下就把那个人打昏了。
When the man wakes, he finds himself tied to a floating log and drifting down the river. After a time, he notices another man in same predicament on the other side of the river.当那个人醒来之后，发现自己被捆在一个木筏上，正沿着河水往下漂呢。
英语爆笑笑话6则带翻译双语阅读
英语爆笑笑话6则带翻译双语阅读笑话是指以一句短语或一个小故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑，或是产生幽默感，另外一个行动(动作)型的笑话是以动作影响人的视觉及观感，而感到好笑。
下面一起来看一下一些爆笑英语笑话吧。
In music class, the teacher asked Jack: “Please answer me what the oldest musical instrument is.”音乐课上，老师问杰克：“请回答，世界上最古老的乐器是什么?”Jack answered unhesitatingly: “It is the accordion.”杰克坚定地回答：“是手风琴。
”The teacher asked doubtfully: “Why do you say that it is the accordion, my dear boy?”老师疑惑地问：“为什么是手风琴呢，英语笑话我可爱的孩子?”Jack s aid: “Teacher, don’t you see that the accordion is completely covered by wrinkles.”杰克说：“老师，您没看见手风琴上全是皱纹吗?”最好的解释The Best ExplanationOnce in a physics class, Tom’s teacher asked the students: “When it thunders, why do we see the lightning first, then hear the thunders?”一次物理课上，汤姆的老师问同学们：“当打雷的时候，为什么我们先看到闪电，然后才听到雷声呢?”Tom answered the question very quickly, while his classmates were thinking it hard.当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，英语笑话汤姆很快就答了上来。
英语爆笑笑话5篇带翻译超搞笑的
英语爆笑笑话5篇带翻译超搞笑的下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑笑话5篇，欢迎大家阅读!英语爆笑笑话一：Hospitality好客The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-piewithout any cheese.由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。
The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returnedwith a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate.这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。
过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。
The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You musthave better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?"客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。
你在哪里找到的奶酪?”"In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.“在捕鼠夹上，先生。
”那小男孩说。
英语爆笑笑话二：太黑了，看不见After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?”过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。
英语笑话大全爆笑带翻译
英语笑话大全爆笑带翻译笑话一般指短小、滑稽的故事,是一种民间口头创作形式,在民间文化中以口口相传的形式传播。
店铺整理了爆笑英语笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!爆笑英语笑话带翻译篇一Little Johnny says "Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning,小强尼说：“妈妈，今天早上和爸爸在公车上时，he told me to give up my seat to a lady."他叫我让座给一位女士。
”"You've done the right thing," says Mommy.妈妈说：“你做得很对呀。
”"But Mommy, I was sitting on daddy's lap."“但是，妈妈，我是坐在爸爸膝盖上的。
”爆笑英语笑话带翻译篇二A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me.一个人给一家他计划在假期里停留的小旅馆写了封信，“我非常希望带着我的狗，He is well-groomed and very well behaved.它很干净很有教养，Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"你能允许它和我睡一间屋子吗?”An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years.旅馆主人立即回了封信，“我经营旅馆很多年了，In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls.狗从没偷过毛巾，床单，餐具，或者墙上的画。
好笑的英语笑话带翻译大全
20XX年好笑的英语笑话带翻译大全冷笑话作为一种新兴的语言现象，越来越受到大家的关注，尤其在网络、杂志、微博、电影上十分盛行。
冷笑话不同于一般的笑话，以其独特的制笑机制，能瞬间制造出一种特殊氛围。
本文是好笑的英语笑话带翻译，希望对大家有帮助!好笑的英语笑话带翻译篇一聪明的鹦鹉A curious guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. There he sees a parrot with ared string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg. Heasks the owner the significance of the strings. “Well, this is a highly trained parrot.If you pull the red string he speaks French; if you pull the green string he speaks German,"replies the shop keeper."And what happens if I pull both the strings?" our curious shopper inquires."I fall off my perch you fool!!" screeches the parrot.1/ 5[译文]有个人去宠物店买鹦鹉。
在那里，他看见有只鹦鹉的左腿被红线系住，右腿则被绿线系住。
对此他感到不解，于是他问该店的老板，老板回答说：“这只鹦鹉受过特殊的训练。
如果拉红线，它就讲法语，拉绿线，它则讲德语。
”这个好奇的人接着问，“要是我两条线都拉，会怎么样呢?”“我就会掉下来了，你这个傻瓜!!”鹦鹉尖叫着说。
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英语幽默笑话故事带翻译篇一：英语短文笑话(带翻译)1、How much English can you speak?"Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English."The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?"The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"中文翻译"法官先生，我的当事人被指控偷窃，这是多么不公正啊。
他一周前才来到纽约，几乎不认路。
而且，他只会说几个英语单词。
"法官看了看被告，问道："你会说多少英文？"被告抬起头，说："把你的钱包给我！"2A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use on average only 15000 words a day, whereas women use 30000 words a day. She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.He said, "What?"丈夫给妻子看了一项调查结果，为了向她证明女人比男人啰嗦。
研究表明男人平均每天使用15000个字，而女人每天使用30000个。
妻子想了一会儿说，女人每天说的字数是男人的两倍，因为她们必须重复已经说过的话。
他问："什么？"3Boy: Is this seat empty?Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.男孩：这个座位是空的么？女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。
4、"Tom, what's the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen. "He's crying.""Oh, nothing, Mum," replied Tom. "I'm eating my cake. He is crying because I won't give him any.""But has he finished his own cake?""Yes." said Tom. "And he also cried when I was helping him finish that.""汤姆，你弟弟怎么了？" 妈妈在厨房里问。
"他在哭。
""没事儿，妈妈，" 汤姆答道。
"我在吃我的蛋糕。
他哭是因为我不给他吃。
""他已经吃完自己的了么？""是的。
" "我帮他吃完时，他也哭了。
"2009-6-7A guy says to his friend, "Guess how many coins I have in my pocket."The friends says, "If I guess right, will you give me one of them?"The first guys says, "If you guess right, I'll give you both of them!"路人甲对路人乙说，"猜猜我兜里有几个子儿？"路人乙说："我猜对了，你能给我一个不？"路人甲说："你要猜对了，我两个全部给你！"2009-6-6研究生和本科生的区别"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," said an instructor at a university graduate engineering course. "When I say 'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond 'Good afternoon.' But the graduate students just write it down."一个教师在研究生工程学课堂上说："我一眼就能看出来哪些是本科生，哪些是研究生。
" "我说'下午好'的时候，本科生回答'下午好'，而研究生则把这句话记在本子上。
"2009-6-5Dad: Tom, please tell me, which month has 28 days?Tom: Every month.爸爸：告诉我汤姆，哪个月有28天呢？汤姆：每个月都有啊！2009-6-4making facesFinding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, "Bobby, when I was a child I was told if I made ugly faces, my face would freeze and stay like that". Bobby looked up and replied, "Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."史密斯小姐发现她的一名学生在操场上向别人做鬼脸，便去轻责他。
这位主日学校的老师甜甜地微笑着，说："博比，我小的时候，有人告诉我如果我做鬼脸，我的脸就会僵硬，永远都那么丑。
"博比抬头看了看老师，说："史密斯小姐，你可别说没人警告过你啊。
"2009-6-3A guy goes to visit his grandma and he brings his friend with him.While he's talking to his grandma, his friend starts eating the peanuts on the coffee table, and finishes them off.As they're leaving, his friend says to his grandma, "Thanks for the peanuts."She says, "Yeah, since I lost my dentures I can only suck the chocolate off."一名男子带着朋友去探望他的祖母。
当他和祖母聊天时，他的朋友开始吃咖啡桌上放的花生，并把花生都给吃光了。
他们离开时，他的朋友对祖母说:"谢谢您的花生。
"结果祖母说:"唉！自从我牙齿掉光后，我就只能吮掉花生豆外层的巧克力了。
"2009-6-2A father was trying to teach his son the evils of alcohol.He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whiskey. The worm in the water lived, while the one in the whiskey curled up and died."All right, son," asked the father, "What does that show you?""Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you will not have worms."一位父亲打算让自己的儿子知道酒精有多么可怕。
他把分别把两只虫子放到一杯清水和一杯威士忌里做对比。
清水里虫子安然无恙，结果威士忌里的虫子蜷缩了几下就挂掉了。
"所以，儿子啊，"父亲问道，"得出什么结论？""恩，这说明，你只要喝酒的话，肚里就不会长虫了！"2009-6-1Looking very unhappy, a poor man entered a doctor's consulting-room."Doctor," he said, "you must help me. I swallowed a penny about a month ago.""Good heavens, man!" said the doctor. "Why have you waited so long? Why don't you come to me on the day you swallowed it?""To tell you the truth, Doctor," the poor man replied, "I didn't need the money so badly then."中文翻译：一个看起来很难受的穷人走进大夫的诊室。