爆笑英语翻译
最新整理英文笑话带翻译爆笑
英文笑话带翻译爆笑近些年,冷笑话作为一种特殊的幽默方式在互联网、电视节目、书籍杂志上广泛流传。
下面是学习啦小编精心收集的爆笑英文笑话带翻译，希望大家喜欢!爆笑英文笑话带翻译篇一I n a d a r k e s t n i g h t,ap o l i c e m a n w a t c h e s a s t a g g e r i n g m a n t r y i n g i n v a i n t o u n l o c k a d o o r. I s t h i s y o u r h o m e? t h e p o l i c e m a n a s k s.S u r e, I l l p r o v e i t t o y o u i f y o u h e l p m e. I n s i d e, t h e m a n e x p l a i n s, Y o u s e e, t h i s i s m y b e d r o o m. A n d t h i s i s m y w i f e.A n d w h o i s t h e m a n n e x t t o h e r?t h e p o l i c e m a n w a n t s t o k n o w.T h a t s m e!在一个漆黑的夜晚，一名警察看到一个醉醺醺的男人怎么也打不开门。
这是你家吗?警察问。
当然，如果你帮我，我将证明给你看。
走进屋里，那人说：你瞧，这是我的卧室，这是我太太。
那她身边的男人是谁?警察想知道。
那是我啊!爆笑英文笑话带翻译篇二T h e m a n a g e r o f a s h o p w a s y e l l i n g a t o n e o f h i s s t a f f.I s a w y o u a r g u i n g w i t h a c u s t o m e r,h e s a i dc r o s s l y. W i l l y o u p l e a s e r e m e m b e r t h a t i n m y s h o p t h e c u s t o m e r i s a l w a y s r i g h t?D o y o u u nde r s t a n d? Y e s,s i r,s a i d t h e a s s i s t a n t.T h e c u s t o m e r i s a l w a y s r i g h t.N o w w h a t w e r e y o u a r g u i n g a b o u t?W e l l s i r,h e s a i d y o u w e r e a n i d i o t.商店的经理正在训斥一名员工。
英语笑话爆笑带翻译
英语笑话爆笑带翻译英语笑话大全爆笑带翻译（通用5篇）冷笑话是近几年出现的一个新词,也是一种出现在我们身边的不可忽视的新的语言现象。
下面店铺整理了英语笑话大全爆笑带翻译（通用5篇），希望大家喜欢!英语笑话爆笑带翻译篇1河上漂流(中英)A man is walking past a travel agents office when he notices a billboard announcing, "4 day cruise down the Murray River $40 all inclusive.”一个男人路过旅行社时，看到一个广告栏上面写着“顺着墨累河漂流四天，全部费用只需40美元”。
Impressed by the low price, he races into the shop, slaps $40 onto the counter and announces, "I' m here for the Murray cruise.” Quick as a wink, the travel agent whips out a baseball bat and knocks him unconscious.面对如此低价的诱惑，他大步走进旅行社把40美元往桌上一拍，然后说:“我报名墨累河之游。
”眨眼间，旅行社的店员抽出一根棒球棍，一下就把那个人打昏了。
When the man wakes, he finds himself tied to a floating log and drifting down the river. After a time, he notices another man in same predicament on the other side of the river.当那个人醒来之后，发现自己被捆在一个木筏上，正沿着河水往下漂呢。
高中爆笑英语笑话带翻译
高中爆笑英语笑话带翻译高中爆笑英语笑话带翻译一：Drunken Humour 醉汉的幽默Wife: Dear, you looked quite drunk last night and you kept repeating the same thing at the table.Husband: Really? Then dont believe anything said by a drunken person. By the way, what did I say to you?Wife: I love you, dear.妻子：友爱的，你昨晚看上去真的醉了，饭桌上老唠叨一件事。
丈夫：真的吗?千万别信一个醉汉说的话，对了，我都说了什么?妻子：我爱你，友爱的。
高中爆笑英语笑话带翻译二：送出去还有的`东西What can Santa give away and still keep?Answer: a cold.什么东西圣诞老人可以分送出去，自己却也还留着?答案：感冒。
高中爆笑英语笑话带翻译三：圣诞老人的爱好What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?Answer: he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe.圣诞老人喜爱在花园里做什么?答案：锄地。
(英文里Hoe 和ho同音。
hoe是锄草之意，ho 则是圣诞老人的笑声。
)高中爆笑英语笑话带翻译四：Falling Down 他肯定是在吹牛A man is fibbing away about how great things are in his country. Finally, he starts describing the tall buildings in his country.There is a building so tall, it took my friend Alex 7 hours to fall off it!Oh, my God! says his friend. Surely he must have died! Of course. He was without food or water for 3 days!一个人在吹牛，说他们国家得事情是多么不行思议。
20个英语笑话爆笑超短【英语翻译笑话】[修改版]
![20个英语笑话爆笑超短【英语翻译笑话】[修改版]](https://img.taocdn.com/s3/m/a8884e71ec3a87c24128c47c.png)
1．we two who and who？咱俩谁跟谁阿2．how are you ? how old are you?怎么是你，怎么老是你？3．you don"t bird me,i don"t bird you你不鸟我，我也不鸟你4．you have seed i will give you some color to see see,pothers ！together up ！你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧，兄弟们，一起上！5．hello everybody!if you have something to say,then say!if you have nothing to say,go home!! 有事起奏，无事退朝6．you me you me彼此彼此7．you give me stop!!你给我站住！8．know is know noknow is noknow知之为知之，不知为不知...9．watch sister表妹10．dragon born dragon,chicken born chicken,mouse" son can make hole!!龙生龙，凤生凤，老鼠的儿子大地洞11．american chinese not enough美中不足12．one car e one car go ,two car pengpeng,people die车祸现场描述13．heart flower angry open心花怒放14．go past no mistake past走过路过，不要错过15．小明：i am sorry!老外：i am sorry too!小明：i am sorry three!老外：what are you sorry for?小明：i am sorry five!16．if you want money,i have no;if you want life,i have one!要钱没有，要命一条17．i call li old big. toyear 25.我叫李老大，今年25。
爆笑英语笑话带翻译
爆笑英语笑话带翻译Title: Hilarious English Jokes with Translation。
English jokes are a great way to improve your language skills while having a good laugh. In this article, we have compiled some of the funniest English jokes with translations in Chinese. So, sit back, relax, and enjoy the humor!1. Why did the tomato turn red?Because it saw the salad dressing!为什么番茄变红了？因为它看到了沙拉酱！2. Why did the chicken cross the playground?To get to the other slide.为什么鸡要穿过游乐场？为了到达另一张滑梯。
3. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crumbly.为什么饼干去看医生？因为它感觉很脆。
4. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn't peeling well.为什么香蕉去看医生？因为它没剥好皮。
5. Why did the math book look sad?Because it had too many problems.为什么数学书看起来很难过？因为它有太多问题。
6. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?Because her students were so bright.为什么老师戴太阳镜？因为她的学生太聪明了。
英语爆笑笑话5篇带翻译超搞笑的
英语爆笑笑话5篇带翻译超搞笑的下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑笑话5篇，欢迎大家阅读!英语爆笑笑话一：Hospitality好客The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-piewithout any cheese.由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。
The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returnedwith a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate.这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。
过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。
The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You musthave better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?"客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。
你在哪里找到的奶酪?”"In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.“在捕鼠夹上，先生。
”那小男孩说。
英语爆笑笑话二：太黑了，看不见After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?”过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。
爆笑英语笑话带翻译
爆笑英语笑话带翻译爆笑英语笑话带翻译冷笑话是近几年出现的一个新词,也是一种出现在我们身边的不可忽视的新的语言现象,它具有强大的生命力,一时间大红大紫。
店铺精心收集了爆笑英语笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!爆笑英语笑话带翻译篇1A school report学校成绩单The father was reading the school report which had just been handed to him by his hopeful son. His brow was wrathful(愤怒的) as he read,父亲在看他那满怀希望的儿子带回来的学校成绩单。
他边看边露出愤怒的表情："English, poor. French, weak. mathematics, fair." and he gave a glance of disgust at the quaking lad(少年，小伙子).“英语，差;法语，差;数学，中。
”他厌恶地瞥了在发抖的儿子一眼。
"Well, Dad." said the son, "It is not as good as it might be, but have you seen that?" And he pointed to the next line which read, "health, excellent."“爸爸，”儿子说，“可能成绩不够理想。
但您看到那一项了吗?”他指了指下一行：“健康状况，优。
”爆笑英语笑话带翻译篇2A Smart Parrot聪明的鹦鹉A curious guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. There he sees a parrot with a red string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg. He asks the owner the significance of the strings1. "Well, this is a highly trained parrot. If you pull the redstring he speaks French; if you pull the green string he speaks German," replies the shop keeper.有个人去宠物店买鹦鹉。
【爆笑英语小笑话带翻译】 英语小笑话带翻译
【爆笑英语小笑话带翻译】英语小笑话带翻译冷笑话是幽默的一种特殊的表现形式，它与传统的笑话不同，有其独特的产生和理解方式。
小编整理了爆笑英语小笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!爆笑英语小笑话带翻译篇一Late one night at the insane asylum ,one inmate shouted, “I am Napoleon!”Another one said, “How do you know?”The first inmate said, “God told me!”Jus t then, a voice from another roomshouted, “I did not!”一天晚上，在疯人院里，一个病人说：”我是拿破仑!”另一个说：”你怎么知道?”第一个人说：”上帝对我说的!”一会儿，一个声音从另一个房间传来：”我没说!”爆笑英语小笑话带翻译篇二One day after school the teacher said to his students, “Tomorrow morning, if any one of you can answer my first question, I will permit him or her to go homeearlier.” The next day, when the teacher came into the classroom, he found the blackboard daubed. He was very angry and asked, “Who did it? Please stand up!” “It’s me,” said Bob, “Now, I can go home. Good-bye, Sir.”我可以回家了一天，放学以后，老师对他的学生们说：”明天上午，如果你们当中的任何一个同学能首先回答我的问题，我就准许他或她最先回家。
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「中国英文」（Chinese English）Chinglish “地道中文”的搞笑英语翻译1.we two who and who？咱俩谁跟谁阿2.You give me stop! 你给我站住3Good good study,day day up!好好学习天天向上4.Icall Liold bigtoyear25我叫李老大今年256.you have two down son你有两下子7.You ask me,I ask who？你问我，我去问谁？8.People mountain and people sea.人山人海9.seven up eight down 七上八下10.no three no four不三不四11. Moon under old man 月下老人12.Open the door see mountain开门见山13. pen see you鄙视你14.Five flowers eight doors五花八门15.I’ll give you some color to see see(我要给你点颜色看看)1.王八蛋：wang eight eggs2.白痴：White eat!3.吃白食：eat white food4.红颜知己：red face know me5.老表：old watch6.表妹：watch sister7.别唬我：don’t tiger me 8.狗娘养的：dog mother born9.作早操：do early fuck 10.不三不四：no three no four11.马马虎虎：horse horse tiger tiger 12. 你给我站住：you give me stop13.你他妈的：you he mother’s 14.你问我我去问谁：you ask me,me ask who15.猪头三去死吧：pig head 3,go dead! 16.朝三暮四：morning three night four17.怎么是你：how are you? 18. how old are you? 怎么老是你19.要钱不给，要命有一条：want money no, want life one20.三人行，必有我师：three people go, one is my teacher1.各位知不知道“让广州充满爱”的官方翻译？—Let’s make love everywhere in our Guangzhou！！2.你也许已走出我的视线,但从未走出我的思念You may be out of my sight,but never out of my mind 3怀才像怀孕时间长才能看到Having knowledge likes having pregnantit takes times to beawareness 4.妈妈说人最好不要错过两样东西，最后一班回家的车和一个深爱你的人. Mom said you’d better not miss two things , the last bus to home and the person who loves you deeply.5.萝卜青菜，各有所爱。
[误] Some prefer radish but others prefer cabbage.[正] Tastes differ。
No dish suits all tastes 或You can never make everyone happy6.他一向嘴硬，从不认错。
[误] He has always got a hard mouth and never admit a fault.[正] He never says uncle.注：当一方想制服另一方时就用命令说：“Say uncle!” “服输”，而not say uncle 就是“嘴硬”7.同学们都很讨厌他，因为他经常拍老师的马屁。
[误] The students all dislike him because he often pats the teacher's ass.[正] The students all dislike him because he often licks the teacher's boots.注：以前在欧洲，臣民见到国王与王后往往要亲吻他们的靴子。
后来，人们将lick the boots 引申汉语的“拍马屁”。
在美国英语中，“拍马屁”还有另一种说法polish the apple，学生用擦亮的苹果来讨好老师。
8.你听说了吗？迈克把他的女朋友给甩了。
[误] Have you ever heard that Mike broke up with his girlfriend?[正] Have you ever heard that Mike dumped his girlfriend?注：break up with sb. 虽然表示“与某人分手了”，并没说明是谁先提出来的。
而dump 指“倾倒垃圾”，这里则表示像倒垃圾一样地甩掉。
9.人都是这山望着那山高，对自己的现状没有满意的时候。
[误] Almost all people think that the other mountain is higher than the one he's standing on. They never feel satisfied with what they've already got.[正] Almost all people think that the grass is greener on the other hill. They never feel satisfied with what they've already got.注：“这山望着那山高”是指人不满足于现状的心理，它在英语中已经有了现成的说法，即the grass is greener on the other hill(他山的草更绿)，因此我们借用即可，10. “big river goes to the east，all the star follows beidou”，这句英文大意就是：大河向东流，天上的星星参北斗。
这首“洋气十足”的《好汉歌》的英文版挟着天雷滚滚而来.11. 人山人海：有人直译为：People mountain people sea. 这就是「中国英文」，老外很难理解。
他们指「人多」时，通常只说：「There is a large crowd of people.」12. 天下无不散的宴席：有人直译为：There are no feasts in the world which do not break up at last. All good things come to an end. (意思是：所有好的事情，总有结束的一天。
)China：拆哪儿？查哪儿？圈哪儿？切哪儿？亲哪儿？去哪儿？吃哪儿？钱儿呢？English:应给利息，阴沟里洗，硬改历史，妈妈，我不想学英语了，因为老师不靠谱，还老教我们骂人：他说今天是Today，昨天也是yestoday; 他一会儿说Yes,一会儿说Nice, 一会儿说Bus,一会儿说Goose, 最后还说都guess！）中式英语按照拼音的顺序排了出来，如下表。
1.What the fuck is going on?（到底他妈的怎么回事?）2.You son of bitch! （你个狗娘养的！）3."同学是某偏远地区的，英语发音一直不标准，老师英文也是发不准，所以学生更是一口地道的土腔英语。
话说同学的妹妹刚上初一，学英语的积极性狂高，每天早晨天不亮就开始朗读单词，这天像往常一样，继续拼命的读，他爹就蹲在窗户底下抽烟袋。
小妹妹念“hands(音:汉子),hands”，“two hands(偷汉子)。
他爹听完就止不住的皱眉，一大早就听见闺女要偷汉子，心想怪不得听说外国人开放，书上都这么写。
小妹妹继续读“hands，hands，two hands(偷汉子)” I have two hands.。
汉子,偷汉子,俺还偷汉子4.话说一个国内知名企业，一天来了一个重要的外宾，下面是前台的对话。
前台小姐：“hello.”你好。
美国人：“hi.”你好。
前台小姐：“you have what thing？”你有什么事情？美国人：“can you speak English？”你能和我说英语吗？前台小姐：“if i not speak English，i am speaking what？”如果我不是在说英语，那我在说什么呢？美国人：“can anybody else speak English？”这里有别的人能说英语吗？前台小姐：“you yourself look，all people are playing ，no people have time，you can wait，you wait， you not wait，you go！”.你自己看看，所有的人都在忙着，没有人有时间，你能等你就等，你不能等你说走！美国人：“good heavens. anybody here can speak English？”我的天啦，这里没有人能讲英语吗？前台小姐：“shout what shout，quiet a little，you have what thing?”嚷什么嚷，安静一点，你还有什么事情？美国人：“i want to speak to your head.”我要找你们的头儿。
前台小姐：“head not zai . you tomorrow come！”头不在，你明天来！5..小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet?老师说：Goa head.小明就坐了下来。
过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：May I go to the toilet?老师说：Goa head.小明又坐了下来。
他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊！6.某女领导会见外宾，要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻，不许走样。
外宾一见到女士，立刻按照西方的习惯拍马屁道："Miss，you are very beautiful."翻译照翻，领导心花怒放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：“哪里，哪里”。
翻译不敢怠慢，把她的话翻成英文："Where? Where?"外宾一愣，干脆马屁拍到底："Every where, every where。