I'veJustBittenMyTongue
哈利波特和混血王子 (中英文台词)
哈利·波特与混血王子H arry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)我杀了小天狼星·布莱克I killed Sirius Black!他回来了He's back.警方仍在调查The police are continuing with the investigation...伦敦千禧桥坍塌的原因into the cause of the millennium bridge disaster.大桥坍塌死亡人数增加为搜救生还者交通被迫中断Traffic has been halted as police search for survivors附近地区均已戒严The surrounding area remains closed.市长希望伦敦市民保持冷静The mayor has urged londoners to remain calm...声名狼藉马尔福夫人与儿子离开法庭阿兹卡班的新房客哈利·波特"Harry Potter."哈利·波特是谁Who's Harry Potter?没谁Oh,no one.某个二货吧Bit of a tosser,really.你的报纸很好玩Funny,that paper of yours.我发誓Couple nights ago几天前我看那图片动了I could've sworn I saw a picture move.-是吗-我估计是我神经错乱了-Really?-Thought I was going around the twist.-我想问...-11点我下班-Hey,I was wondering….-Eleven.That's when I get off.给我讲讲那个二货哈利·波特You can tell me all about that tosser Harry Potter.今年夏天你有点鲁莽哈利You've been reckless this summer,Harry.我喜欢坐火车到处转转I like ridingaround on trains.那能让我的头脑清静Takes my mind off things样子挺吓人吧Rather unpleasant to behold,isn't it?背后的故事也挺刺激The tale is thrilling,if I say so myself.不过以后再给你讲But now is not the time to tell it.抓住我的胳膊Take my arm照我说的做Do as I say.我刚刚幻影移形了吗I just apparated,didn't i?没错而且我得说你适应得很好Indeed.Quite successfully too,I might add.大多数人第一次幻影移形都会吐的Most people vomit the first time.怎么可能吐I can't imagine why.欢迎来到迷人的巴德莱·巴伯顿村Welcome to the charming village of Budleigh Babberton.哈利你一定在想我为什么带你来这Harry,I assume,right about now,you're wondering whyI brought you here. 对吗Am I right?说实话这些年我已经习惯一头雾水了Actually,sir,after all these years,I just sort of go with it.掏出魔杖哈利Wands out,Harry霍拉斯Horace?霍拉斯Horace?救世之星梅林的胡子Merlin's beard!没必要拆穿我啦阿不思No need to disfigure me,Albus.你这扶手椅装得相当成功霍拉斯Well,I must say you make a very convincing armchair,Horace.外套是就地取材我身材本来就有料It's all in the upholstery.I come by the stuffing naturally.我哪露馅了What gave me away?龙血Dragon's blood.-怪不得-对了来给你介绍下-Oh.-Oh,yes,introductions.哈利这是我的老朋友也是老同事Harry,I'd like you to meetan old friend and colleague of mine.霍拉斯·斯拉格霍恩Horace Slughorn.霍拉斯Horace...你肯定认识他吧Well,you know who this is.哈利·波特Harry Potter.弄成这样是干什么霍拉斯What's with all the theatrics,Horace?你该不会是在等别人吧You weren't,by any chance,waiting for someone else,were you?别人你在说什么啊Someone else?I'm sure I don't know what you mean.好吧这一年来食死徒一直想招揽我All right.The death eaters have been trying to recruit me for over a year 你知道那是什么感觉吗Do you know what that's like?我不能总拒绝他们You can only say no so many times,只好每星期都换个地方住So I never stay anywhere more than a week住这的麻瓜去了加那利群岛Muggles who own this are in the Canary Islands.咱们最好把东西恢复原样吧Well,I think we should put it back in order for them,don't you mind? 真好玩That was fun.-我能用下洗手间吗-当然-Do you mind if l use the loo?-No,of course别以为我不知道你来干嘛阿不思Don't thinkI don't know why you're here,Albus.我就是不去The answer's still no.无论如何毫不含糊不去Absolutely and unequivocally,no.你长得很像你父亲You're very like your father.除了眼睛你眼睛更像你...Except for the eyes.you have your...像我妈妈我知道My mother's eyes.Yeah.莉莉可爱的莉莉你妈妈非常聪明Lily.Lovely Lily.She was exceedingly bright,your mother.加上她是麻瓜出身就更厉害了Even more impressive when one considers she was muggle-born. 我有个好朋友就是麻瓜出身One of my best friends is muggle-born.我们这届最棒的Best in our year千万别觉得我有偏见Please don't think I'm prejudiced.No,no.你妈妈是我最喜欢的学生Your mother was one of my absolute favorites.那个就是她最前边的Look,there she is.Right at the front.这些人都是我的学生All mine.Each and every one以前的学生Ex-students,I mean.那是巴拿巴斯·古费预言家日报主编You recognize Barnabas Cuffe,editor of the Daily Prophet.我想表达下自己的观点Always takes my owl就给他送个信准能登报should I wish to register an opinion on the news of the day.格韦诺格·琼斯霍利黑德哈比队队长GwenogJones,captain ofthe Holyhead Harpies.随时可以给我免费的票Free tickets whenever I want them.当然我好久没去看过了Of course,Ihaven't been to a match in some time.啊这张Ah,yes.雷古拉斯·布莱克Regulus Black.你肯定知道他弟弟小天狼星几周前死了吧You no doubt know of his older brother Sirius.died a few weeks ago. 我教过布莱克一家除了小天狼星I taught the whole Black family,except Sirius.令人惋惜啊他确实很有天赋It's a shame.Talented boy.雷古拉斯我收下了I got Regulus when he came along of course不过两个都收更好But I'd have liked the set.霍拉斯Horace?我能拿走这个吗Do you mind if I take this?我喜欢看编织图案I do love knitting patterns给你了你该不是要走吧Yes,of course.But you're not leaving?我知道请你回学校这事儿肯定没戏了I think I know a lost cause when I see one,regrettable我一直认为劝你回到霍格沃茨教书I would have considered it a personal triumph...对我来说算是个成就不过算了...had you consented to return to Hogwarts.Oh,well.你和波特先生一样都很有性格You're like my friend Mr.Potter here,one of a kind.走了拜拜霍拉斯Well,bye-bye,Horace.再见Bye.好吧我答应啦All right.I'll do it.但是我要梅乐斯教授的那间办公室But I want professor Merrythought's old office,我原来那间就像厕所Not the water closet I had before.而且我要求加薪现在世道太乱啦太乱And I expect a raise.These are mad times we live in,mad!确实如此They are indeed.教授这到底是怎么回事Sir,exactly what was all that about?。
英语笑话大全笑你的肚子
英语笑话大全笑你的肚子英语笑话大全笑你的肚子笑话来源于生活，却又可以让我们的生多些欢乐、开心，现在，一起来开心爆笑下。
英语笑话大全笑你的肚子【1】1、Would you like to be the sun in my life?A: Would you like to be the sun in my life?你想成为我生命中的太阳吗?B: Aww, Yes!哇哦!当然想。
A: Very well, then. Stay XX miles away from me.很好，那么赶紧到距离我XX里远的地方吧。
2、How much do you love me?A: How much do you love me?你有多么喜欢我?B: As many as the stars in the sky.和天上的星星一样多。
A: Good! ... Wait! It’s daytime now...太好了...等等，现在是白天啊!B: T here’s no stars in the sky in the daytime.没错，白天的天空上没有星星。
英语笑话大全笑你的肚子【2】1 Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday? I gave it to a poor old woman, he answered. You’re a good boy, said the mother proudly. Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman? She is the one who sells the candy.好孩子小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
初中英语笑话
1.Oncetwohunterswenthuntingintheforest.Oneofthem suddenlyfelldownbyaccident.Heshowedthewhitesofhiseyesandseemedtohavec easedbreathing.Theotherhuntersoontookouthis mobilephonetocalltheemergencycenterforhelp.Theoperatorsaidcalmly:"Fir st,youshouldmakesurethatheisalreadydead."Thentheoperatorheardagunshot fromtheotherendofthephoneandnextheheardthehunterasking:"WhatshouldIdo next?"两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。
另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。
接线员沉着地说：“第一步，要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。
”于是，接线员在电话里听到一声枪响，然后听到那猎人接着问：“第二步怎办？”2.Letmetakeitdown Anelephantsaidtoamouse,"nodoubtthatyouarethesmallestznd mostuselessthingthatIhaveeverseen.""Pless,sayitagain.Letmetakeitdown."themousesaid."Iwilltella fleawhatIknow."为我所用一头大象对一只小老鼠说：“你无疑是我见过的最小、最没用的东西。
”“请再说一遍，让我把它记下来。
”老鼠说。
“我要讲给我认识的一只跳蚤听。
3.WateringFlowerInRainTom:Whydoyouhavethatwateringcan?Dan:I'mgoingtowatertheflowers.Tom:Butit'draining.Dan:That'sOK.I'mwear-ingmyraincoat.雨天浇花汤姆：你拿喷壶做什么？丹：我要去浇花。
卑鄙的我中英文字幕
卑鄙的我抱歉先生厕所在哪里? Excuse me, sir,is there a commode?贾斯汀! Justin!亲爱的快拍我手举金字塔呢 Quick, honey, take my picture. I got the pyramid in my hand.贾斯汀马上给我回来! Justin, you get back here right now!别上去! No, stop! 不行不行快拦着他下来别乱爬 No, no! Stop him! Go back! Don't climb!慢点慢点 Wait, wait.小子别动慢慢来 Hold on. Easy, little boy.别过去孩子站在那别! Okay, stop, child! Stop right there. No!别别别! 他掉下去了 No, no, no! There he goes.贾斯汀! Justin!我接着! 我接着! I've gothim! I've got him!吉萨金字塔的失窃让埃及举国震怒 Outrage in Egypt tonight as it was discovered that the Great Pyramid of Giza had been stolen窃贼使用巨型充气赝品掩人耳目 and replaced by a giant inflatable replica（replike 复制品）.此事造成全球恐慌 There is panic throughout the globe as countries and citizens各国及其国民试图保护其名胜古迹 try to protect their beloved landmarks.执法部门仍毫无头绪 Law enforcement still has no leads人们纷纷猜测是何人犯下此滔天罪行? leaving everyone to wonder,which of the world's villains is responsible for this heinous crime?而他下一目标又将是哪里?And where will he strike next?* 今天过得糟糕透顶 * * I'm having a bad, bad day ** 老子地盘该由老子做主 * * It's about time that I get my way ** 彻底摧毁所见一切 * * Steamrolling whatever I see *冷冻光! 冷冻光! 冷冻光! Freeze ray!Freeze ray! Freeze ray!* 今天过得糟糕透顶 * * I'm having a bad, bad day ** 别以为我这是针对你 * * If you take it personal, that's okay ** 我在一旁沾沾自喜 * * Watch, this is so fun to see ** 我可真是相当卑鄙 * * Despicable me *早上好格鲁! 你好吗 Morning, Gru! How you doing?你好弗雷德 Hello, Fred.对了你的狗在我院子里到处大便我很是不爽FYI, your dog has been leaving little bombs all over my yard,and I don't appreciate it.抱歉狗嘛总是随心所欲Sorry. You know dogs. They go wherever they want to go.除非死翘翘了 Unlessthey're dead.开玩笑呢I'm joking!尽管是大实话再见啦Although, it is true. Anyway, have a good one.那个...好吧Okay. Yeah.* 彻底摧毁所见一切 * * Steamrolling whatever I see ** 我可真是相当卑鄙 * * Despicable me ** 今天过得糟糕透顶 * * I'm having a bad, bad day ** 别以为我这是针对你 * * If youtake it personal, that's okay ** 我可真是相当卑鄙 * * Despicable me *开什么玩笑啊! You've got to be pulling on my leg!有人吗Hello! 卖饼干啦Cookies for sale.回吧我不在家 Go away. I'm not home.你在我听见啦 Yes, you are. Iheard you.胡说这是 No, you didn't. This录音is a recording.才不是 No, it isn't. 的确是Yes, it is.不信你听哔声后请留言Watch this. Leave a message, beep.再见啦语音留言Goodbye, recorded message.走吧艾妮Agnes, come on.凯尔!Kyle!贱狗! 松嘴松嘴坐下我的松饼啊Bad dog! No! No, no.Sit. My muffin.格鲁!Gru!纳法尼奥博士Dr Nefario.我了解你此刻的心情I know how you must be feeling.我也想当失望I, too, have encountered great disappointment,但你在我心中永远那么优秀but in my eyes, you will always be one of the greats.什么? 出什么事了?What? What happened?这事传得沸沸扬扬呢It's all over the news!有人把金字塔给偷了Some fella just stole a pyramid.大家都说这让别的恶人看起来... 像在玩过家家They're saying he makes all other villains look lame.全体小兵集合!Assemble the minions!小兵们集合Minions, assemble!马上马上Okay. Okay.气色不错啊凯文家人还好吗Looking good, Kevin! How is the family? Good?好了All right.那不是比利吗莱瑞还好吗That's my Billy boy! What up, Larry?大家好Hello, everybody!好了好了Yeah, all right!安静安静Simmer down. Simmer down!谢谢合作Thank you, okay.你们可能都听说了Now, I realize that you guys probably heard某个恶棍偷走了金字塔about this other villain who stole the pyramids.真是惊天动地啊Apparently, it'sa big deal.大家都说这是世纪要案People are calling it the crime of the centuryand stuff like that.我很不爽吗? 不可能!But am I upset? No, I am not!是有一点啦A little,但我们今年也收获颇丰but we have had a pretty good year ourselves,你们都应计一功and youguys are all right in my book.不绝不加薪No, no raises!别指望有加薪You're notgoing to get any raises.我们都有啥辉煌成就?What did we do?时代广场的巨型屏幕已是我们囊中之物Well, we stole the Times Square JumboTron!不错!Nice!这就是我的风格That's how I roll.你们都喜欢用它看足球吧?Yeah, you all like watchingfootball on that, huh?不仅如此But that's not all.我们还将自由女神据为己有Westole the Statue of Liberty,当然是拉斯维加斯的那座小的 the small one from Las Vegas.更不用说埃菲尔铁塔了也是小的And I won't even mention the Eiffel Tower!Also Vegas.我本没打算现在告诉你们Okay, I wasn't going to tell you about thisyet,我在计划一件惊天大案but I have been working on something very big!金字塔与之相比就是小菜一碟Something that will blow this pyramid thing out of the water!我的好友纳法尼奥博士功不可没And thanks to the efforts of my good friend Dr Nefario...谢谢Thank you! 他来啦There he is.他有款有型的He's styling.我们在一个秘密实验室发现了微缩光Now, we have located a shrink ray一旦微缩光得手in a secret lab,and once we take this shrink ray,我们就能够we will have thecapability制造一起真正的世纪要案to pull off the true crime of the century.而我们的目标是...We are going to steal...别急别急你们还不知道目标呢Wait, wait! Ihaven't told you what it is yet.喂Hey.戴夫麻烦你认真听Dave, listen up, please.我们的下一个目标是...Next, we are going to steal,制造点神秘气氛pause foreffect,月球!the moon!一旦我得到了月球And once the moon is mine,世人就会不惜一切代价赎回the world will give me whatever I want to get it back!而我将成为史上最大恶人!And I will be the greatest villain of all time!这就是我的计划That'swhat I'm talking about.喂?Yes?格鲁我算了一下Hello, Gru? I've been crunchingsome numbers,我们经费不足以支持这个计划and I really don't see how we canafford this.没办法我变不出钱来It can't be done. I'm not a miracle worker.别紧张Hey, chillax. 银行贷款就行了我是他们的宠儿I'll just get another loan fromthe bank. They love me!伊迪斯别这样Edith, stop it! 干嘛走路碍着你了? What?I'm just walking. (海蒂小姐女童院)Miss Hattie's Home for Girls你好海蒂小姐我们回来了Hi, Miss Hattie. We're back.你们好姑娘们Hello, girls!我们出去这会有人收养我们吗Anybody come to adopt us while we were out?让我想想Let me think. 没有!No!伊迪斯这是什么玩意儿Edith! What did you put on my desk?泥巴饼A mud pie.没人会收养你的伊迪斯你自己清楚You're never gonna get adopted, Edith. Youknow that, don't you?嗯我知道 Yeah, I know. 很好 Good.今天业绩如何完成目标了吗So, how did it go, girls? Did we meet our quotas?还行吧Sort of.我们卖了43盒迷你薄荷味的We sold 43 mini-mints,30盒可可螺旋的和18盒可可坚果的30choco-swirlies, and 18 coco-nutties.好吧Okay.说得好像业绩很好Well, you saythat like it's a great sale day.看着我Look at my face!真的那么好吗Do you stillthink it's a great sale day?18盒可可坚果饼Eighteen coco-nutties.我觉得还能更进一步你们说呢I think we can do a little better than that, don't you?是的Yeah.没人想在羞愧小屋里过周末吧?We wouldn't want to spend the weekend in the Box of Shame, would we? No.不想海蒂小姐No, Miss Hattie.很好出去吧帮我收拾收拾Okay, good. Off you go. Go clean something of mine.嘿佩妮嘿佩妮 Hi, Penny. Hi, Penny. 嘿大伙Hi, guys.喂妈抱歉想给你打电话来着但是...Hello, Mom.Sorry, I meant to call, but...恭喜你把金字塔给偷了I just wanted tocongratulate you on stealing the pyramid.是你偷的吧? That was you, wasn't it?或者是哪个货真价实的神偷? Or was it a villain who's actually successful?告诉你妈我正在策划一起Just so you know, Mom, I am about to do something惊天地泣鬼神的案子that's very, very big, very important.你听了以后一定会非常自豪的When you hear about it, you're going to be very proud.那祝你好运挂了Good luck with that. Okay, I'm out of here.(银行)BANK (万恶银行)BANK OF EVIL格鲁求见博金斯先生Gru to see Mr. Perkins. 请稍等Yes, please have a seat.这是我的一小步That's one small step for man,却是人类的一大步one giant leap for mankind.妈迟早有一天我也会登上月球Ma, someday I'm going to go to the moon.太晚喽儿子I'm afraid you're too late, Son.航天局不送猴子上太空喽NASA isn't sending the monkeys any more.喂Hey. 我要用维矢量这个名字申请助恶贷款I'm applying for a new villain loan. Go by the name of Vector.矢量是个数学术语It's a mathematical term,带有箭头的数量既有方向也有数量 a quantity represented by an arrow, with both direction and magnitude.维矢量就是在下 Vector! That's me,因为我作恶累累目标明确数额巨大 'cause I'm committing crimes with both direction and magnitude.哦嘢Oh, yeah!看我的新武器 Check out my new weapon.食人鱼枪哦嘢Piranha gun! Oh, yes!能发射活食人鱼没见过吧Fires live piranhas. Ever seen one before?肯定没我发明的No, you haven't. I invented it.需要演示一下吗Do you want a demonstration?有时候特别难把这些食人鱼放回去...Shoot! So difficult, sometimes, to get the piranha back inside of my...格鲁先生博金斯先生在等你Mr. Gru, Mr. Perkins will see you now.银行只需要借给我So, all I need制造火箭的资金is money from the bank to build a rocket.然后月球就是咱的啦And then, the moon is ours.精彩的演讲Well, very nice presentation.我想看看这个微缩光I'd like to see this shrink ray.没问题我很快就能得手Absolutely! Will do. Soon as I have it.你没有微缩光?You don't have it?还敢厚颜无耻来银行贷款?And yet you have the audacity to ask the bank for money?是的Apparently.你知道我们银行在你身上投资了多少钱吗格鲁Do you have any idea of the capital that this bank has invested in you, Gru?迄今几乎没有哪起案子能赚钱With far too few of your sinister plots actually turning a profit.怎么说呢假如你是这个苹果How can Iput it? Let's say this apple is you.如果你还不起钱If we don't start gettingour money back...你滴明白?Get the picture?格鲁关键是现在人才辈出Look, Gru,the point is, there are a lot of new villains out there,比你更年轻胃口更大younger than you, hungrier than you,比你年轻younger than you.就像外面那个维矢量Like that young fellow out there named Vector.金字塔就是他偷的He just stolea pyramid!明白了明白了I've got it. I've got it.那么制造火箭那笔经费...So, as far as getting money for the rocket...拿到微缩光否则免谈Get the shrink ray, then we'll talk.最高机密研究所东亚TOP SECRET RESEARCH FACILITY EAST ASIA傻帽Suckers!傻帽Suckers!到手了!We got it!怎么回事What?喂喂怎么嘿!Hey! Hey! What! Hey!别别别No, no, no!是你You!以后冻别人头的时候记得三思Now, maybe you'llthink twice before you freeze someone's head!回见啦格鲁So long, Gru!快不能让他得逞Quick! We can't let him get away!前上方前上方Up ahead! Up ahead!开火立刻Fire! Fire, now!没打着You missed me!快来爸爸这Come to papa!接住咯Take that.真有趣啊How adorable.锁定你了!Got you in our sights!简直轻而易举...Like taking candy from a...什么?What?嘿格鲁Hey, Gru!尝尝这个的滋味Try this on for size!太奇怪了怎么回事That's weird. What is going...幽闭恐怖症要犯啦This is claustrophobic!不不不No, no, no!太窄了这里太窄了Too small! This is too small for me!我恨死那家伙了I hate that guy!请照拂我们...and please watch over us,保佑我们一夜安睡and bless that we'll have a good night's sleep.保佑没有虫子会趁我们熟睡时And bless that while we're sleeping, no bugs will crawl into ourears爬进我们耳朵在脑子里下蛋and lay eggs in our brains.谢谢你描述那么恶心的一幕伊迪斯Great. Thanks for that image, Edith.请保佑快快有人领养我们And please bless that someone will adopt us soon,而且爸爸妈妈都很和善and that the mommyand daddy will be nice还能养独角兽做宠物and have a pet unicorn.阿门Amen.阿门阿门Amen. Amen.* 我爱独角兽我爱独角兽 * * Unicorns, I love themUnicorns, I love them ** 独角兽呀独角兽我爱死你们啦 * * Uni, uni, unicorns Ilove them ** 如果真有独角兽 * * Uni, unicorns, I could pet one ** 我就可以养一只 * * If they were really real ** 它们真的存在哦 * * And they are ** 我拥有一只并且宠爱它 * * So, I bought one so I could pet it ** 它爱我我爱它 ** Now it loves me Now I love it *维矢量的城堡 VECTOR'S FORTRESS (安全警报)SECURITY ALERT!!!别...什么...Don't you... What the...好运咯小丫头们Goodluck, little girls!(海蒂小姐女童院) Miss Hattie's Home for Girls哇真棒Whoa! Cool.你好我们是海蒂小姐女童院的孤儿Hi! We're orphans from MissHattie's Home for Girls.与我何干别捣乱别这样嘛I don't care. Beat it! Come on!我们在卖饼干呢赚钱上学嘛We're selling cookies so, you know, we canhave a better future.等等有可可坚果味吗有啊Wait, wait!Do you have coco-nutties? Yeah.灵光一现呀Light bulb.纳法尼奥博士Dr Nefario!我需要一打小饼干机器人I'm going to need a dozen tiny robots disguised as cookies!什么? 饼干机器人What? Cookie robots!那是谁啊?算了Who is this? Oh, forget it.你通过了我们的背景检查Well, it appears you have cleared our background check,格鲁医生Dr Gru.这里还罗列了And I see you have made a list你的个人成就of some ofyour personal achievements.十分感谢我最喜欢读了Thank you for that. I love reading.你曾经获得荣誉勋章And I see you have been given the Medal of Honor并被授予骑士and a knighthood.我来我来我来我来Me, me, me. Me, me, me.凯文?Kevin?你还在主持烹饪节目You had your own cooking show并且能闭气达30秒?and you canhold your breath for 30 seconds?一般般嘛It's not that impressive.白痴Idiot!打!打! 打! 打!打!打!Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!Fight!这乱七八糟的都是些...什么? What in the name of... What?事情是这样的Well, here's the dealio.自从我的妻子黛比Things have been so lonely since my wife,去世后我非常孤独Debbie, passed on.我的心就像被蛀了一样It's like my heart is a tooth,只有孩子才能填满and it's got a cavity that can only be filled withchildren.抱歉I'm sorry.你真美你会说西班牙语吗You are a beautiful woman. Doyou speak Spanish?我难道像西班牙人吗Do I look like I speak Spanish?你长得真像只驴 (西班牙语)You have a face como un burro.谢谢Well, thank you!我们能继续讨论收养的事吗Anyway, can we proceed with this adoption?真是迫不及待So, soexcited!麻烦让玛戈伊迪斯和艾妮来前厅Please tell Margo, Edith and Agnes tocome to the lobby.我猜妈妈肯定特美I bet the mom is beautiful!我猜爸爸的眼睛肯定又大又亮I bet the daddy's eyes sparkle.我猜咱家一定是小熊软糖做的I bet their house is made of Gummi Bears.我只是说这样肯定很棒I'm just saying it'd be nice.毛毛虫一直没变成蝴蝶My caterpillar never turned into a butterfly.那是芝士条That's a Cheeto.黛比是位幸运的女人Well, Debbie was a very lucky woman.黛比是谁Who's Debbie?你妻子Your wife.孩子们Hi, girls!孩子们这位是格鲁先生Girls, Iwant you to meet Mr. Gru.你们的收养人He's going to adopt you.他还是位牙医哦Andhe's a dentist!太好了Yeah!嘿我是玛戈这是伊迪斯Hi. I'm Margo. This is Edith.那个是艾妮And that's Agnes.抱住你的腿咯抱住你的腿咯I got your leg, I got yourleg!到此为止咯小丫头Okay, that is enough, little girl.放开我快点乖乖的再高点Let go of my leg. Come on.You can do it. Higher!高点! 快松手Higher! Just release your grip. Wow!有什么命令能让她下来吗How do you remove them? Isthere a command?或者不粘剂Some nonstick spray?撬棍?Crowbar?好了孩子们回家了Okay, girls, let's go.哦嘢Oh, yeah!真不错Pretty impressive!瞪什么瞪What areyou looking at?漱口水你变成小矮人啦You got shrunk, tiny mouthwash!接招Takethat!去小人国吧You done been shrunk!谁呀Yello?微缩光在我手上是啊I got theshrink ray, all right.没啊我没乱来No, I'm not playing with it.格鲁?Gru?少恶心我了不可能Don't make me laugh! No.对了他离月球远着呢P.S., he is not gettingthe moon,再有等我把他给料理了and P.P.S., by the time I'm done with him,他会哭着喊着求我的he's gonna be begging for mercy.好拜了Okay, bye.这真是小宝宝的厕所哟Look at you, a little tiny toilet for a little tiny baby...去死吧小破厕所Curse you, tiny toilet!好了咱们到了Okay, here we are.温馨的家啊Home sweethome.这个就是...你的家?So, this is, like, your house?等等...Wait a sec...你就是那个假装成录音的人You're the guy who pretended he was a recorded message!不才不是我No, that was someone else.我能牵着你的手吗Can I hold your hand?不行No.当被个光头收养时When we got adopted by a bald guy,我以为就像安妮 (源自著名漫画"孤女安妮")I thought this'd be more like Annie.站住喂No, hey!凯尔这不是食物是客人Kyle, these are not treats. These are guests.丫头们它叫凯尔我的...Girls, this is Kyle, my狗dog.小狗狗Fluffy doggy!这是什么品种的狗啊Whatkind of dog is that?他是...不知道He is a... I don't know.你真认为这里适合儿童居住吗Do you really think that this is an appropriate place for little kids?一点也不Cause it's no .别别别靠近那儿No! No! Stay away from there!那很容易坏It's fragile.我想2个人也能实现计划Well, I suppose the plan will work withtwo . 喂这里好黑呀Hey! It's dark in here.我的果汁盒都给弄穿了It poked ahole in my juice box.正如你们所见As you can see,儿童的必需品我都准备齐全了食物水大小便I have provided everything a child might need.好了All right. 正如我所说...喂Okay. As I was saying... Hey!不是我打碎的Somebody broke that.好了看来我们得约法三章了Okay, okay. Clearly, we need to set some rules.规矩一Rule number one.你们不许碰任何东西You will not touch anything.那地板呢What aboutthe floor?地板可以碰Yes, you may touch the floor.那空气呢What about the air?空气也可以Yes, you may touch the air!那这个呢What about this?你在哪找到的?捡的Where did you get that? Found it.规矩二我工作的时候不许打扰Okay. Rule number two. You will not bother me while I'm working.规矩三Rule number three.你们不许哭不许发牢骚不许笑You will not cry or whine or laugh or giggle不许打喷嚏不许打嗝不许放屁!or sneeze or burp or fart!总之不许发出讨厌的声音知道吗So, no, no, no annoying sounds. All right?这个算吗Does this count as annoying?非常讨厌Very!6个小时后见I will see you in six hours.好了别担心一切都会好起来的Okay, don't worry. Everything's going to be fine.我们一定会过得非常开心的对吗艾妮We're gonna be really happy here. Right? Agnes?问个问题这是啥Question. What are these?一打舞蹈机器人跳舞吧A dozen boogie robots! Boogie!看这个看我Look at this. Watch me!饼干机器人我是说饼干机器人Cookie robots. Isaid cookie robots.你怎么那么糊涂啊Why are you so old?好我马上弄Okay. I'm onit.有人吗Hello?电视TV!那是啥What is that? 快看! 太酷了Look at that! That is cool!快来Come on!我觉得他不是牙医I don't think he's a dentist.这是抗重力溶液We've been working on this for a while.我们已经研究了一段时间了It's aanti-gravity serum.我本来想关上的他肯定不会有事的I meant to close that. He'llbe all right, I'm sure.会失效吗暂时来说Do the effects wear off? So far,不会失效no. No, they don't.这是你新订做的武器And here, of course, is the new weapon you ordered.不不No, no.我是指飞镖枪而不是...算了I said "dart gun", not... Okay.是啊我就说嘛Oh, yes. 'Cause I was wondering这枪能派上什么用场呢under what circumstances would we use this?话说回来But, anyway.我想给你看的其实是这个What I really wanted to show you was this.这才是饼干机器人嘛Now thoseare cookie robots!啦啦啦啦我最爱独角兽La, la, la, la I love unicorns你们在这干嘛我说过你们要呆在厨房What are you doing here? I told you to stay in thekitchen!无聊嘛这是哪啊We got bored. What is this place?我能喝吗Can I drinkthis?你想爆炸吗Do you want to explode?格鲁!Gru!回厨房去Get back in the kitchen!跟我们一起玩好吗不行Will you play with us? No.为什么因为我很忙Why? Because I'm busy.忙什么Doing what?好吧好吧告诉你们Okay, okay, yougot me.当牙医只是我的爱好The dentist thing is more of a hobby.我其实是名间谍In real life, I am a spy.这是最高机密你们不许乱说And it is top secret, and you may not tell anybody,否则... 这是干嘛的because if you do... What does this do?喂!Hey!我的独角兽My unicorn!你得给我修好You have to fix it.修? 它已经尸骨无存了Fix it? Look, it has been disintegrated.理论上来说修不好了By definition, it cannot be fixed.我被吓到了她这是干嘛That's freaking me out. What is she doing?她会一直憋气直到得到新的She's gonna hold her breath untilshe gets a new one.这是个玩具而已别捣乱It is just a toy. Now stop it!好吧好吧我修Okay, okay! I'll fix it!蒂姆马克菲力!Tim! Mark! Phil!这件事非常重要Thisis very important.给这小丫头弄个新的独角兽玩具You have to get the little girla new unicorn toy.喂喂喂是玩具Hey, hey, hey! A toy!速度Go, and hurry!那些是什么呀What are those?他们是我的表亲They are my cousins.杰瑞史都华Jerry! Stuart!看着她们别让她们靠近我谢谢Watch them, and keep them away from me, please.(欢迎试坐)TRY ME这都是你表亲的主意It was your cousin's idea.神马?What?好了该睡觉了Okay, bedtime.不是说你们Not you two!好了睡觉觉了盖好被子做个好梦Okey-dokey. Beddie-bye. All tucked in. Sweet dreams.我告诉你Just so you know,我永远不会叫你爸爸you're never gonna be my dad.随你便I think I can live with that.这些床是用炸弹做的吗Are these beds made out of bombs?是但都很旧了不太可能会爆炸Yes, but they are very old and highly unlikely to blow up.但尽量不要翻来覆去But try not to toss and turn.真酷Cool.能给我们讲故事吗不行Will you read us a bedtime story? No.但不听故事我们睡不着But we can't go to sleep without a bedtime story.那今晚将会是漫漫长夜咯Well, then it's going to be along night for you, isn't it?晚安了小心怪物哟So, good night, sleep tight, and don't let the bed bugs bite.因为真的有很多怪物哦Because there are literally thousands of them.衣柜里可能也藏着些什么哦And there's probably something inyour closet.他在逗你玩呢艾妮He's just kidding, Agnes.真漂亮It's beautiful.姑娘们出发啦Girls, let's go.该去卖饼干啦Time to deliver the cookies!但我们得先去上舞蹈课Okay. But first, we're going to dance class.实际上今天得逃舞蹈课了Actually, we're going to have to skip the dance class today.实际上我们今天不逃课Actually, we can't skip the dance class today.我们接下来会有场演出We have a big recital coming up.《天鹅湖》节选哦没错《天鹅湖》We're doing an excerpt from Swan Lake. Yeah, Swan Lake!好啊实在太棒了That's fantastic. Wonderful.但是我们得去卖饼干了出发吧But we're going to deliver cookies! Come on!不去No.不去?No?舞蹈课后才能去卖饼干We're not going to deliver cookies until we do dance class.真的?Really?我不会送你们去上课的Well, I am not driving youto dance class.如果想去的话你们得走着去了So if you want to go, you are goingto have to walk yourselves.你们去哪What are you doing?走路去上舞蹈课Walking to dance class.是吗很好Ya? Okay, fine.慢慢走我不会开车送你们的You just keep walking, because I'm really not driving you!很好Okay.格鲁大人愤怒了!You're going to suffer the wrath of Gru!认真的我数到3Seriously, I'm going to countto three!赶紧给我上车And you had better be in this car!我数咯 1 2Here we go! One! Two!3 4 5 ...three, four and five.抬高伸展And lift, and stretch.1 2And one, and two...给你这是啥Here you go. What is it?演出的票你会来吧Your ticket to the dance recital. You are coming, right?当然当然Of course,of course.我是坐立难安啊I have pins and needles that I'm sitting on.拉钩钩?Pinkie promise?好拉钩钩Oh, yes. My pinkie promises.好了第一个客人叫维矢量All right. Our first customer is a man named Vector.但他的名字是V开头的Buthe's a V.我们应该从A开头的开始You know, we're supposed to start with the A's.然后B开头然后...Then we go to the B's. Then we...我知道我上过幼儿园背过字母表Yes, yes! I went to kindergarten. I know how the alphabet works!我只是觉得I was just thinking先给维矢量先生送曲奇比较好that it might be nice to deliver Mr.Vector's first.仅此而已That is all.噩梦要结束了要结束了Almost over. It's almost over.丫头们欢迎再次光临维哥哥城堡Girls, welcome back to the fortressof Vector-tude!今天给我带了饼干吗Do you have my cookies for me?4盒迷你薄荷味 2盒太妃糖味Four boxes of mini-mints, two toffee totes,两盒饴糖味的和15盒可可坚果味two caramel clumpies and fifteen boxes of coco-nutties.没错没人比我买得更多了Exactly. I'd like to see somebody else order that many cookies.不可能Not likely.告诉我谁会比我买得多Name one person who ordered more cookies than me.总共是52元That'll be $52.好Right.(发现目标)TARGET ACQUIRED7 8 9Seven, eight, nine...哎呀我数到哪了Tic Tacs! Where was I?7 8 9 seven, eight, nine...你怎么穿着睡衣呢Why are you wearing pajamas?这不是睡衣是热身服These aren't pajamas! This is a warm-up suit.你为什么热身啊为各种事情What are you warming up for? Stuff.例如呢What sort of stuff?超级酷的事情你们不懂Super-cool stuff you wouldn't understand.例如睡觉?Like sleeping?这不是睡衣!They are not pajamas!给 52大元Here you go, 52 big ones.拜拜Bye!快点Come on!搞什么What the...安静点臭鱼Quiet down, fish!安静孩子Down, boy!成功了来孩子们我们走We did it! Come on, girls, let's go!那别的订了饼干的人怎么办But what about the other people who ordered cookies?对某些人来说人生不如意十有八九Life is full of disappointments for some people.别吓人!Don't do that!超级乐园带我们去嘛好吗Super Silly Fun Land! Can we go? Please?不行No.我们从没去过这是世上最棒的地方But we've never been. And it's the funnest place on earth!关我嘛事Don't care.求你了好嘛Please? Please?这是我们唯一的愿望真的We'll never ask for anything else, ever again!求求你嘛好嘛Pretty please? Please? (永别了)GOODBYE去嘛去嘛Come on! Come on!灵光一现呀Light bulb.快点Come on!再见慢慢玩Goodbye, have fun.抱歉哥们她们需要成人陪同Sorry, dude. They can't ride without an adult.什么?What?哎呀呀Oh, my gosh!快看那只毛茸茸的独角兽Look atthat fluffy unicorn!毛茸茸的我喜欢死了He's so fluffy, I'm gonna die!让我们把它给赢回来You've gotta let us play for it!不行不行No, no, no.好嘛Come on!独角兽多少钱How much for the fluffy unicorn?不卖Well, it is not for sale.但你只要打倒那只小飞船But all you gotta do to win it就能把它抱回家is knock downthat little spaceship there.小菜一碟It's easy!(准备开始)READY LET'S GO!!!(游戏结束你输了)STOP YOU LOSE再来一次Again!等等好嘛再来一次Wait!Come on. One more time!最后一次Just one more.我不小心闭眼了I accidentally closed my eyes.我打中了打中啦真棒I hit it! I hit it! That was cool.(游戏结束你输了)STOP YOU LOSE喂喂喂这是什么意思Whoa, whoa, whoa. What was that?她打中了我亲眼所见She hit that. I saw that with my own eyes.老兄我告诉你Hey, buddy, let me explain something to you.你没见到那只太空船被打倒吧?You see that little tin spaceship? You see how it's not knocked over?知道那意味什么吗教授大人Do you know what that means, professor?意味着你拿不到独角兽It means you don't get the unicorn!某人要发脾气了哟Somebody's got a frowny face.啧下次好运了Boo! Better luck next time!好了该我了Okay, my turn.死翘翘Knocked over!毛茸茸的耶It's so fluffy! Yeah真是太帅了That was awesome!你把整个东西都给炸了You blew up the whole thing!走吧我们再去玩别的游戏Let's go. Let's try another game!格鲁能跟你说两句吗Gru, do you mind if I have a quick word?好了姑娘们玩去吧Okay, girls, go play.我偷到微缩光了I got the shrink ray!棉花糖Cotton candy!还有12天月球就会到达最佳位置We have 12 days until the moon is in optimum position.我们不能在此时分心We can't afford any distractions!联系博金斯Get me Perkins.抱歉打扰您了博金斯先生Sorry to bother you, Mr. Perkins,但我想你见到这个肯定特开心but I figured that you would want to see this!什么?What?做得好格鲁很不错Well done, Gru. Rather impressive.接下来的计划非常简单Now, the rest of the plan is simple.我飞到月球缩小月球I fly to the moon. I shrink the moon.拿走月球我坐在马桶上I grab the moon. I sit on the toilet.什么?What?抱歉。
初中英语笑话
初中英语笑话————————————————————————————————作者：————————————————————————————————日期：1.Oncｅtwｏhunｔers wｅnｔhunting in the ｆorｅst. One ｏf them suddenｌｙfell dowｎby aｃciｄent.He ｓhowed ｔhｅwｈiteｓoｆhis eyes anｄseｅmedｔo ｈave cｅａsed ｂreathing. Tｈe ｏthｅr hunｔeｒsoon toｏk oｕt ｈis mobilｅphone ｔｏcall the emｅrgｅnｃyｃｅnter for help. Thｅoｐeraｔor saｉdｃalｍlｙ："First, youｓhoｕｌｄmａke sure tｈat he is already deａd."Then thｅoｐeｒatｏr heａrd a gunshot fｒｏm the other end of the ｐｈoｎe anｄｎext he hearｄｔｈe hunｔer ａｓkｉng："Wｈaｔｓhｏｕｌd I dｏneｘt?"两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒,两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。
另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。
接线员沉着地说:“第一步,要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。
”于是，接线员在电话里听到一声枪响,然后听到那猎人接着问:“第二步怎办?”2.Let ｍe takｅiｔdｏwｎAn elephaｎｔｓaid ｔo ａｍｏusｅ,"no doｕbt thａtｙｏｕare ｔhe ｓmallesｔznd mｏｓt uｓelesｓtｈing ｔhat Ihave e ver seen．＂"Ｐｌess ,sａy it ａgａin .Ｌet meｔake ｉt down ."the mouse said.＂I will tｅll a flea what I know．"为我所用一头大象对一只小老鼠说:“你无疑是我见过的最小、最没用的东西。
新视野大学英语第二版1-4单元课文翻译中英对照
Unit1Learning a foreign language was one of the most difficult yet most rewarding experiences of my life.学习外语是我一生中最艰苦也是最有意义的经历之一.Although at times learning a language was frustrating, it was well worth the effort.虽然时常遭遇挫折,但却非常有价值.My experience with learning a foreign language began in <4>junior</4> middle school, when I took my first English class.我学外语的经历始于初中的第一堂英语课.I had a kind and patient teacher who often praised all of the students.老师很慈祥耐心,时常表扬学生.Because of this positive method, I eagerly answered all the questions I could, never worrying much about making mistakes.由于这种积极的教学方法,我踊跃回答各种问题,从不怕答错.I was at the top of my class for two years.两年中,我的成绩一直名列前茅When I went to senior middle school, I was eager to continue studying English; however, my experience in senior middle school was very different from before.到了高中后,我渴望继续学习英语.然而,高中时的经历与以前大不相同.While my former teacher had been patient with all of the students, my new teacher quickly punished those who gave incorrect answers.以前,老师对所有的学生都很耐心,而新老师则总是惩罚答错的学生.Whenever we answered incorrectly, she pointed a long stick at us and, shaking it up and down, shouted, "No! No! No!"每当有谁回答错了,她就会用长教鞭指着我们,上下挥舞大喊："错！错！错！〞It didn't take me long to lose my eagerness to answer questions.没有多久,我便不再渴望回答问题了Not only did I lose my joy in answering questions, but I also lost my desire to say anything at all in English.我不仅失去了回答问题的乐趣,而且根本就不想再用英语说半个字.However, that state didn't last long.好在这种情况没持续多久.When I went to college, I learned that all students were required to take an English course.到了大学,我了解到所有学生必须上英语课.Unlike my senior middle school teacher, my college English teachers were patient and kind, and none of them carried long, pointed sticks!与高中老师不同,大学英语老师非常耐心和蔼,而且从来不带教鞭！The situation was far from perfect, though.不过情况却远不尽如人意.As our classes were very large, I was only able to answer a couple of questions in each class period.由于班大,每堂课能轮到我回答的问题寥寥无几.Also, after a few weeks of classes, I noticed there were many students who spoke much better than I did.上了几周课后,我还发现许多同学的英语说得比我要好得多.I began to feel intimidated.我开始产生一种畏惧感.So, once again, although for different reasons, I was afraid to speak.虽然原因与高中时不同,但我却又一次不敢开口了.It seemed my English was going to stay at the same level forever.看来我的英语水平要永远停步不前了That was the situation until a couple of years later when I was offered an opportunity to study English through an online course.直到几年后我有机会参加远程英语课程,情况才有所改善.The communicationmedium was a computer, a phone line, and a modem这种课程的媒介是一台电脑、一条线和一个调制解调器.. I soon got access to the necessary equipment, learned how to use the technology from a friend and participated in the virtual classroom 5 to 7 days a week.我很快配齐了必要的设备并跟一个朋友学会了电脑操作技术,于是我每周用5到7天在网上的虚拟课堂里学习英语.Online learning is not easier than regular classroom study;网上学习并不比普通的课堂学习容易.it requires a lot of time, commitment and discipline to keep up with the flow of the course.它需要花许多的时间,需要学习者专心自律,以跟上课程进度.I worked hard to meet the minimum standards set by the course and to complete assignments on time.我尽力达到课程的最低要求,并按时完成作业.I practiced all the time.我随时随地都在学习.I carried a little dictionary with me everywhere I went, as well as a notebook in which I listed any new words I heard.不管去哪里,我都随身携带一本袖珍字典和笔记本,笔记本上记着我遇到的生词.I made many, sometimes embarrassing, mistakes.我学习中出过许多错,有时是令人尴尬的错误.Once in a while I cried out of frustration, and sometimes I felt like giving up.有时我会因挫折而哭泣,有时甚至想放弃.But I didn't feel intimidated by students who spoke faster than I did because I took all the time I needed to think out my ideas and wrote a reply before posting it on the screen.但我从未因别的同学英语说得比我快而感到畏惧,因为在电脑屏幕上作出回答之前,我可以根据自己的需要花时间去琢磨自己的想法.Then, one day I realized I could understand just about everything I came across, and most importantly, I could "say" anything I wanted to in English.突然有一天我发现自己什么都懂了,更重要的是,我说起英语来灵活自如.Although I was still making many mistakes and was continually learning new ways to say things, I had finally reaped the benefits of all of my hard work.尽管我还是常常出错,还有很多东西要学,但我已尝到了刻苦学习的甜头.Learning a foreign language has been a most trying experience for me, but one that I wouldn't trade for anything.学习外语对我来说是非常艰辛的经历,但它又无比珍贵.Not only did learning another language teach me the value of hard work, but it also gave me insights into another culture, and my mind was opened to new ways of seeing things.它不仅使我懂得了艰苦努力的意义,而且让我了解了不同的文化,让我以一种全新的思维去看待事物.The most wonderful result of having learned a foreign language was that I could communicate with manymore people than before.学习一门外语最令人兴奋的收获是我能与更多的人交流.Talking with people is one of my favorite activities, so being able to speak a new language lets me meet new people, participate in conversations, and form new, unforgettable friendships.与人交谈是我最喜欢的一项活动,新的语言使我能与陌生人交往,参与他们的谈话,并建立新的难以忘怀的友谊.Now that I speak a foreign language, instead of staring into space when English is being spoken,I can participate and make friends.由于我已能说英语,别人讲英语时我不再茫然不解了.我能够参与其中,并结交朋友.I am able to reach out to others and bridge the gap between my language and culture and theirs.我能与人交流,并能够弥合我所说的语言和所处的文化与他们的语言和文化之间的鸿沟.Unit2The radio clicked on. Rock music blastedorth收音机"咔嗒〞一声,摇滚乐就大声地响开了..Like a shot, the music woke Sandy.音乐像枪声似的将桑迪吵醒.She looked at the clock; it was 6:15 A.M.她看了一下钟,早上6点一刻.Sandy sang along with the words as she lay listening to her favorite radio station.她躺在床上,听着她喜欢的电台广播,嘴里哼着歌词."Sandy," shouted her father. "Sandy, turn that music off!""桑迪,〞她父亲喊道,"桑迪,把音乐关了！〞Steve Finch burst nto her room.史蒂夫·芬奇冲进她的卧室.Why do you have to listen to such horribleuff?"你为什么一定要听这么糟糕的音乐？It's the same thing over and over.还听了一遍又一遍.I'm not sure it is really music, though it does have rhythm."虽然有节奏,可恐怕不是真正的音乐."I like that music, Dad; it's my favorite."我喜欢这种音乐,爸爸.这是我最喜欢的.Listen for a minute; I'm sure you'll like it."您听一下吧,您肯定会喜欢的.〞Sandy reached for the radio to turn it up louder.桑迪伸手把音乐开得更响."No, no, don't do that. I can't stand it."别,别开那么响,我受不了Turn that radio down so your mother and I can't hear it.把收音机音量调低点,这样我和你妈妈就听不到了.I'm sure that music is hurting your ears as well as your brain."我敢肯定,那音乐既伤你的耳朵,又伤你的大脑.〞Sandy walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower.桑迪走进浴室,打开淋浴喷头.Then she grabbed the soap and washed thoroughly, including her hair.然后她抓起香皂,浑身上下洗个遍,连头发也洗了.After her shower, Sandy brushed her hair, put on her old, green T-shirt and some jeans.淋浴后,桑迪梳了梳头发,穿上一件旧的绿色圆领衫和一条牛仔裤.Then she put on her makeup and went to the kitchen.接着她化好妆,走进了厨房As usual, she didn't know what to have for breakfast, so she grabbed a glass of milk and ate a piece of toast while standing by the sink.和往常一样,她不知道早餐该吃什么,便抓了杯牛奶,站在洗涤槽旁吃烤面包.Just then, her mother, Jane, entered the kitchen.就在此时,她妈妈简走进了厨房."Sandy, why don't you sit down and eat your breakfast? <p9>It isn't healthy to eat standing up.""桑迪,你怎么不坐下吃饭？站着吃饭对身体不好.〞"I know, Mom, but I don't have time to sit down and eat.""我知道,妈妈,可我没时间坐着吃.〞"Did you finish your homework, dear?""昨天做作业了吧,宝贝？〞"Yes.""Did you brush your teeth?""刷过牙了？〞"Mom, I haven't finished eating breakfast yet. <p10>I'll brush my teeth when I'm done.""妈妈,我还没吃完饭呢.吃完了再刷.〞"Sandy, why are you wearing that old T-shirt? It's disgusting.""桑迪,你怎么穿那件旧圆领衫呢？难看死了.〞"Mom, please stop.""妈妈,请别这样.〞"Stop what, dear?""别怎么样？〞"Stopbugging me.""别这样烦我."Sandy, are you wearing eyeliner?""桑迪,你怎么描起眼线来了？〞"Yes, Mom, I've been wearing eyeliner for months. Isn't it pretty? ""我是描了,妈妈.我都描了几个月了.难道不漂亮？〞"Sandy Finch, you're too young to wear that much makeup.""桑迪·芬奇,你还小,不能化这么浓的妆.〞"Mom, I'm fifteen. I'm old enough to wear makeup."妈妈,我都15岁了,到了可以化妆的年龄了.Believe me, all the girls at school wear makeup. Some have tattoos and pierced ears, and noses and tongues, too.给您说实话吧,学校的女孩子都化妆,有些还文身,有的还戴耳环、鼻环、舌环呢.Mom, I don't have time to talk about this now—I'm late. I've got to go. See you later."妈妈,我现在没时间给您说,我快迟到了,得走了.再见.〞Sandy kissed her mother quickly on the cheek, picked up her books, and bolted out of the house.桑迪匆匆吻了一下妈妈的脸颊,拿起书冲出了屋子.After Sandy had left for school, Jane Finch sat down in peace and quiet to drink her coffee.桑迪离家上学后,简·芬奇平静地坐下来喝咖啡.Soon her husband joined her.没过一会儿,她丈夫走了进来"Would you like some coffee, Steve?" asked Jane."史蒂夫,喝点咖啡吧？〞简问道."No, thanks, honey. My stomach feels upset—like it's full of knots."不,谢谢,亲爱的.我胃不舒服,心乱如麻.It's probably that awful music that wakes me up every morning.可能是因为那讨厌的音乐每天早上把我吵醒.I don't think I'm old-fashioned, but hearing those tuneless<, offensiveyrics repeatedly makes my blood boil."我想我还不至于老得落伍吧,可没完没了地听那毫无韵律、令人讨厌的歌曲实在让我生气.〞"You know, honey, different music appeals to different generations," reasoned Jane."你知道,亲爱的,不同年龄的人喜欢不同的音乐,〞简劝说道."Remember some of the music we listened to?""还记得我们听过的一些音乐吗？〞Steve smiled. "You're right. Maybe eating breakfast will help me get rid of some of the knots in my stomach."史蒂夫笑了,"你说得有道理.也许吃点早饭能让我感觉好一点."Did you notice how much makeup our fifteen-year-old daughter was wearing this morning?I can't believe I didn't notice."你注意到了吗,今天早晨我们15岁的女儿都化了什么样的妆？I suppose we should feel lucky because makeup is our biggest problem with her.我真不敢相信自己以前没有注意到.I've seen other teenagers walking around town with tattoos and piercings all over their bodies."我想我们应该感到幸运,因为我们女儿的最大问题还只是化妆."What worries me," said Steve, "is that music could have a negativ e influence on Sandy."令我担心的是,〞史蒂夫说,"那种音乐对桑迪可能有负面的影响.I don't know what's happening to our little girl.我不知道我们的女儿到底怎么回事.She's changing and I'm concerned about her.她在变,我很担心她.Makeup, terrible music—who knows what will be next?化妆品,糟糕的音乐,谁知道以后还会有什么花样？We need to have a talk with her.The news is full of stories about teenagers in trouble whose parents hardly know anything about their problems."我们得和她谈谈.新闻里报道的尽是惹上麻烦的青少年,可他们的父母却不知道自己的孩子有什么问题."Oh, I don't think her music is so terrible.〞"哦,我倒不认为她的音乐如此糟糕.But in any case, you're right. We need to have a talk with Sandy," said Jane.但不管怎么说,你还是说得对,我们需要和桑迪谈谈,〞简说道.As Jane Finch drove to work, she thought about her Sandy.去上班的路上,简·芬奇一面开着车,一面想着她的桑迪.She knew what she wanted to say, what she had to say to Sandy.她知道自己想说什么,得对桑迪说什么.She was so glad that she and Sandy could still talk things over.她和桑迪之间还可以进行交流,这令她很高兴.She knew she had to have patience and keep the lines of communication with her daughter open.她知道自己得有耐心,得保持自己和桑迪之间沟通的渠道畅通.She wanted to be there as an anchor for her, but at the same time she would give her freedom to find her own identity她想在桑迪的身边,做她的保护人,同时又给她寻找自我的自由.When I was growing up, I was embarrassed to be seen with my father.在我还未成年时,如果有人看到我和父亲在一块儿,我就会觉得难堪.He was everelycrippled and very short, and when we walked together, his hand on my arm for balance, people would stare.他腿瘸得很厉害,个子又矮.我们一起走路时,他的手搭在我臂上以保持平衡,人们就会盯着看.I would nwardly struggle at the unwanted attention.对于这种讨厌的注视,我打心眼里感到别扭.If he ever noticed or was bothered, he never let on.即使父亲注意到这些或感到不安,他也从不表露出来.It was difficult to coordinate our steps—his halting, mine impatient—and because of that, we didn't say much as we went along.我们的步伐难以协调一致——他常常停下脚步,而我的步子却显得不耐烦.正因为如此,我们一路很少说话.But as we started out, he always said, "You set the pace. I will try to adjust to you."但每次出门时,他总说："你按你的步速走,我跟着你.〞Our usual walk was to or from the subway on which he traveled to work.我们通常就在地铁口和家门口之间来回,那是他上班的路线He went to work sick, and despitenasty weather.他生病或天气恶劣时也坚持上班,几乎从不缺勤.He almost never missed a day, and would make it to the office even if others could not.他总是准点到办公室,即使别人做不到.It was a matter of pride.这是件可以引以为荣的事.When snow or ice was on the ground, it was impossible for him to walk, even with help.当路上覆盖冰雪时,即使有人搀扶,他也难以行走.At such times my sisters or I would pull him through the streets of Brooklyn, N.Y., on a child's wagon with steel runners to the subway entrance.这种时候,我或者我的姐妹们就用一辆带有钢轮的儿童推车拉着他穿过纽约布鲁克林的街道到地铁站口.Once there, he would cling to the handrai l until he reached <p12>the lower steps that the warmer tunnel air kept free of ice.一到那儿,他就紧抓着地铁口的扶手一直往下走,因为地铁内比较暖和,下面几级台阶没有冰雪.In Manhattan the subway station was in the basement of his office building, and he would not have to go outside again until we met him in Brooklyn on his way home.曼哈顿的地铁站直通他们办公楼的地下室,他不用出站〔就可到办公室〕.下班回家时,我们会去布鲁克林的地铁站口接他.When I think of it now, I am amazed at how much courage it must have taken for a grown man to subject himself to such shame and stress. And at how he did it—without bitterness or complaint.现在回想起来,我不禁惊叹：像他那样一个成年人,得有多大的勇气才能承受这样的屈辱和压力,而当时他却显得毫无痛苦,也没怨言.He never talked about himself as an object of pity, nor did he show any envy of the more fortunate or able.他从不说自己可怜,也从不表现出对那些比他幸运或健康的人的羡慕.What he looked for in others was a "good heart", and if he found one, the owner was good enough for him.他从别人那儿寻找的是一颗"好心〞.一旦找到了,那人在他心目中就是个大好人.Now that I am older, I believe that is a proper standard by which to judge people, even though I still don't know precisely what a "good heart" is.现在我长大了,我相信这是判断一个人的标准.虽然我还没有确切理解什么是"好心〞,But I know at times I don't have one myself.但我知道自己有时候并没有这么一颗"好心〞Unable to engage in many activities, my father still tried to participate in some way.虽说很多活动父亲都不能参加,但他还是试着以某种方式来参与.When a l ocal baseball team found itself without a manager, he kept it going.当地一个棒球队缺少一个经理时,是他使球队正常运转He was a knowledgeable baseball fan and often took me to Ebbets Field to see the Brooklyn Dodgers play.他是一个见多识广的棒球迷,常常带我到埃贝茨球场,观看布鲁克林道奇队的比赛.He liked to go to dances and parties, where he could have a good time just sitting and watching.他喜欢参加各种舞会和聚会,虽然在那儿他只能坐着观看,却也能享受一番乐趣On one occasion a fight broke out at a beach party, with everyone punching and shoving记得在一次沙滩聚会上,进行了一场殴斗,人人挥拳上阵,相互推撞.He wasn't content to sit and watch, but he couldn't stand unaided on the soft sand.他不满足只是坐着观看,然而在松软的沙地上如果没人帮助,他又站不起来.In frustration he began to shout, "I'll fight anyone who will sit down with me! I'll fight anyone who will sit down with me!"于是在极度无助的情况下,他高声喊道："谁坐下来和我对打! 谁愿意坐下来和我对打!Nobody did.没有人坐下来和他对打.But the next day people kidded him by saying it was the first time any fighter was urged to take a dive before the fight began.第二天,人们和他开玩笑,说是第一次听到拳击手在开打之前,就有人要求他倒地服输.I now know he participated in some things through me, his only son.如今我知道他是通过我,他唯一的儿子,间接地参与了一些事情.When I played ball <poorly>, he "played" too. When I joined the Navy, he "joined" too.我打球时〔球技很糟〕,他也"打〞；后来我加入海军,他也"加入〞了.And when I came home on leave, he saw to it that I visited his office.我休假回家时,他一定要让我去参观他的办公室.Introducing me, he was really saying, "This is my son, but it is also me, and I could have done this, too, if things had been different." Those words were never said aloud.在介绍我时,虽然没有说出口,但他实际上在说："这是我儿子,但也是我.如果我没瘸,我也会和他一样.〞He has been gone many years now, but I think of him often.如今父亲已去世多年,但我时常想起他.I wonder if he sensed my reluctance to be seen with him during our walks.不知他当时是否留意在我们同行时,我不愿意被人看到.If he did, I am sorry I never told him how sorry I was, how unworthy I was, how I regretted it.若他确实注意到了,那我真惭愧当时没能对他说我是多么对不起他,我是多么不孝,我有多么后悔.I think of him when I complain about trifles, when I am envious of another's good fortune, when I don't havea "good heart".现在,每当我因一些琐事而怨天尤人的时候,每当我嫉妒别人运气比我好的时候,每当我没有一颗"好心〞的时候,我就会想起他.At such times I put my hand on his arm to regain my balance, and say, "You set the pace. I will try to adjust to you."每逢此时,我就设想自己将手搭在他的臂上,重新找回自己的平衡,我会说："你按你的步速走,我跟着你.〞Uit4Research shows we make up our minds about people through unspoken communication within seven seconds of meeting them.有研究显示,我们对他人的判断是根据我们最初遇到他们的七秒钟里所进行的无声交流形成的.Consciously or unconsciously, we show our true feelings with our eyes, faces, bodies and attitudes, causing a chain of reactions, ranging from comfort to fear.无论是有意识还是无意识,我们都会用我们的眼神、面部表情、形体动作和态度来表现我们的真实情感,从而使他人产生从舒适到害怕等一连串反应.Think about some of your most unforgettable meetings: an introduction to your future spouse, a job i nterview, an encounter with a stranger.想想那些让你最为难忘的会面：被介绍给你未来的妻子或丈夫、一次求职面试、与陌生人的一次邂逅.Focus on the first seven seconds. What did you feel and think?将注意力集中在最初的七秒钟,你当时有何感想？How did you "read" the other person?你是如何"解读〞他人的？How do you think he read you?你认为他又是如何解读你的？You are the message.你本人就是信息.For 25 years I've worked with thousands who want to be successful.25年来,我在工作中和数千个想要成功的人打过交道.I've helped them make persuasivepresentations, answer unfriendly questions, communicate more effectively.我帮助他们,使他们所作的演讲有说服力,教他们如何回答不友好的提问,以与如何与人更有效地沟通.The secret has always been you are the message.而所有这一切的秘诀都在于要懂得你本人就是信息.Others will want to be with you and help you if you use your good qualities.如果你能利用你的优点,别人就会愿意跟你在一起,并且愿意帮助你.They include: physical appearance, energy, rate of speech, pitch and tone of voice, gestures, expression through the eyes, and the ability to hold the interest of others.这些优点包括：外表、活力、语速、语音语调、手势、眼神,以与使他人对你保持兴趣的能力.Others form an impression about you based on these.别人对你的印象就是根据这些因素形成的.Think of times when you know you made a good impression.想想有哪几次你确切知道你给人留下了好印象.What made you successful?你成功的原因又是什么？You were committed to what you were talking about and so absorbed in the moment you lost all self-consciousness.那是因为你对你所谈论的事情非常投入,你当时完全沉浸其中,以至于完全没有了羞涩的感觉.Be yourself.保持自我.Many how-to books advise you to stride into a room and impress others with your qualities.许多指导性的书籍会建议你大步走进一个房间,用你的优点给别人留下深刻印象.They instruct you to greet them with "power handshakes" and tell you to fix your eyes on the other person.他们会教你以"有力的握手〞问候他人,并且告诉你要用双眼注视对方.If you follow all this advice, you'll drive everyone crazy—including yourself.可你如果遵循了所有这些建议,你会让所有的人都受不了——包括你自己.The trick is to be consistently you, at your best.诀窍在于要始终如一地保持自我,保持最佳状态的自我.The most effective people never change from one situation to another.给人印象最深的那些人从不随着情境的变化而改变自己.They're the same whether they're having a conversation, addressing their garden club or being interviewed for a job.无论是在与人交谈时,在园艺俱乐部上发表演说时,还是在求职面试中,他们的表现都是一样的They communicate with their whole being; the tones of their voices and their gestures match their words.他们全身心地与人交流；他们的音调和手势与他们说的话保持着一致Public speakers, however, often send mixed messages.然而,演说家常常会传递一些混合不清的信息.My favorite is the kind who say, "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm very happy to be here"—while looking at their shoes.我最喜欢用来作例子的一类演说家是那些边看自己的鞋子边说"女士们、先生们,我很高兴来到这里〞的人.They don't look happy.他们看上去并不高兴.They look angry, frightened or depressed.他们看上去气愤、恐惧或沮丧.The audience always believe what they see over what they hear.听众总是相信自己的亲眼所见胜过耳闻.They think, "He's telling me he's happy, but he's not.他们会想,"他告诉我他很高兴,可他并不是这样.He's not being honest."他并没有说实话.Use your eyes.用你的眼睛.Whether you're talking to one person or one hundred, always remember to look at them.不管你是和一个人交谈,还是对一百个人发表讲话,始终记住你要看着他们.Some people start to say something while looking right at you, but three words into the sentence, they break eye contact and look out the window.有些人在开始说话时会直视你,但一句话刚说了几个字,他就会中断与你目光的接触,把目光移向窗外.As you enter a room, move your eyes comfortably; then look straight at those in the room and smile.当你走进房间时,目光从容地扫视；然后直视房间里的人,并对他们微笑.Smiling is important. It shows you are relaxed.微笑是很重要的,它表明你很放松.Some think entering a room full of people is like going into a lion's cage.有人认为走进一个有很多人的房间就像走进一个狮子笼.I disagree.我不同意这种说法.If I did agree, I certainly wouldn't look at my feet or at the ceiling.就算我同意,我也肯定不会看着自己的脚或是天花板.I'd keep my eyes on the lion!我会注视那头狮子.Lighten up.别太当真.Once in a staff meeting, one of the most powerful chairmen in the entertainment industry became very angry over tiny problems, scolded each worker and enjoyed making them fear him.一次在员工会议上,一位娱乐业最有影响的董事长由于一些微不足道的问题大发雷霆,责备每一位员工,为能使员工害怕自己而感到满足.When he got to me, he shouted, "And you, Ailes, what are you doing?"当他走向我,对我喊道,"还有你,艾尔斯,你在忙些什么？〞I said, "Do you mean now, this evening or for the rest of my life?" There was a moment of silence.我说："你是说现在？今晚？还是在我的余生中？〞之后有片刻的沉默.Then the chairman threw back his head and roared< with laughter.接着董事长仰头放声大笑.Others laughed too.其他人也跟着笑起来.Humor broke the stress of a very uncomfortable scene.幽默可以打破尴尬场合中的紧X气氛.If I had to give advice in two words, it would be "lighten up"!如果一定要我用几个字说出我的建议的话,那就是"别太当真〞!You can always see people who take themselves too seriously.你总会发现有一些人对待自己太过认真.Usually they are either brooding< or talking a great deal about themselves.他们通常不是在沉思,就是在滔滔不绝地谈论自己.Take a good hard look at yourself. Do you say "I" too often?仔细地观察一下你自己,你说"我〞的次数是否过多？Are you usually focused on your own problems?你通常是否将注意力集中在你个人的问题上？Do you complain frequently?。
bite my tongue成语
bite my tongue成语【最新版】目录1.解释成语“bite my tongue”的含义2.说明该成语的来源和历史3.描述该成语在日常生活中的应用4.提供一些使用该成语的例句正文“bite my tongue”是一个英文成语，直译为“咬我的舌头”，实际上它的含义是“忍住不说话”或者“说话谨慎”。
这个成语常常用来形容在某些情况下，因为担心说错话或者引起麻烦，而选择保持沉默。
关于这个成语的来源，其中一个版本认为它起源于古代英格兰，当时人们相信，咬住舌头可以防止说错话或者泄露机密。
另一个版本则认为，这个成语源于圣经中的故事，讲述了耶稣被捕后，他的门徒彼得因为害怕而否认认识耶稣，然后彼得感到非常后悔，恨不得咬住自己的舌头。
在日常生活中，人们可能会在各种场合使用这个成语，比如在工作中，为了避免说错话引起同事或者上司的不满，会说“我要小心点，别咬到舌头”。
或者在社交场合，为了避免因为口无遮拦而得罪人，会说“我现在要咬舌头了，免得说错话”。
以下是一些使用“bite my tongue”这个成语的例句：1.I really want to tell them what I think, but I have to bite my tongue to keep from saying anything.（我真的想告诉他们我的想法，但我必须忍住不说，以免引起不必要的麻烦。
）2.She usually speaks her mind, but today she"s biting her tongue.（她通常会说出自己的想法，但今天她却忍住了。
）3.I"ve made a mistake and I"ve bitten my tongue, but I won"t do it again.（我犯了个错误，但我已经忍住没再说错话，以后也不会再犯了。
大学体验英语综合教程3原文对照翻译
大学体验英语综合教程3课文对照翻译Unit1:Passage A:Care for Our Mother Earth(Dr. McKinley of Awareness Magazine interviews a group ofexperts on environmental issues.)《意识》杂志的麦肯立博士就环境问题对几位专家进行采访Dr. McKinley: What do you think is the biggest threat to theenvironment today?麦肯立博士：您认为目前环境面临的最大威胁是什么Aman Motwane: The biggest threat to our environment today is the way we, as human beings, see our environment. How we see our environment shapes our whole world. Most of us see everything as independent from one another. But the reality is that everything is part of one interconnected, interrelated whole. For example, a tree may appear isolated, but in fact it affects and is affected by everything in its environment - sunshine, rain, wind, birds, minerals, other plants and trees, you, me. The tree shapes the wind that blows around it; it is also shaped by that wind. Look at the relationship between the tree and its environment and you will see the future of the tree.阿曼·莫特万：现在环境面临的最大威胁来自我们人类对环境的态度。
英语搞笑笑话8篇
英语搞笑笑话8篇下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话8篇，欢迎大家阅读!英语搞笑笑话：Imitation 模仿A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach. Well, sit down and eat your tea, said his mother. Your stomach's hurting because it's empty. It'll be all right when you've got something in it.Shortly afterwards Dad come in from the office, complaining of a headache.That's because it's empty, said his bright son. You'd be all right if you had something in it.一个男孩放学回家时，觉得肚子痛。
来，坐下，吃点点心，妈妈说，你肚子痛是因为肚子是空的。
吃点东西就会好的。
一会儿，男孩的爸爸下班回家了，说是头痛。
你头痛是因为你的脑袋是空的，他那聪明的儿子说，里面装点东西，就会好的。
英语搞笑笑话：Fried chickenIn class the teacher showed pictures of various birds. Then he asked one of the students, "What kind of bird do you like best, Jack?"Jack thought a moment, then answered, "Fried chicken, sir."老师在课堂上向学生们展示了各种各样的鸟的照片。
然后他问其中一名学生，“杰克，你最喜欢哪种鸟儿啊?”杰克想了想，回答，“炸鸡，老师。
生活大爆炸--第12季第2集-字幕-对白-中英文对照-看电影学英语-打印-word版
But I think, by the end of the honeymoon, 不过我觉得到了蜜月尾声we really started to feel like a married couple. 我们真的开始有已婚夫妇感了But the good kind, like on TV, 是好的那种像电视里那样- not like my parents. - Yeah. -不是像我父母 -是的You're not a real married couple until you can pee 真正的夫妻是当你可以撒尿不关门with the door open and she's okay with it. 而你老婆也无所谓时才算I told you, I'm not okay with it. 我跟你说过我有所谓She loves it. 她爱死了So, we got everybody gifts. 我们给大家都买了礼物Did you forget about us until you were at the airport? 你们是不是到机场了才想起我们啊No. 才不是We forgot about you until we were on the plane. 我们是到飞机上了才想起你们来Luckily, there was Wi-Fi, 幸好飞机上有无线网and I have Amazon Prime. 而我有网络商城高速送货服务I heart New York. 我❤纽约Aw, the baby's gonna love throwing up on this. 宝宝一定会很喜欢吐在这上面Look, it doesn't have to just be New York. 听我说这不见得只能代表纽约啊That's the beauty of it. 这才是其中的奥妙之处Uh, the initials "N.Y." can stand for anything you like.这个缩写可以代表很多你们喜爱的事物For instance, I understand that there is 举个例子我听说有一个an elderly rock-and-roll musician named Neil Young. 知名的老年摇滚歌手尼尔·杨Perhaps you heart him. 或许你们喜欢他啊Or if not him, Egyptian table tennis silver medalist 如果对他无感埃及银牌乒乓球手Noha Yossry. 诺哈·亚瑟里Or Nana Yamaguchi, 也可以是山口奈奈the Japanese voice actress 她是日本的女声优who starred in Sally the Witch. 曾给卡通《仙女下凡》配过音Did you just Google the initials "N.Y."? 你上网查了有谁缩写是N.Y.的吗I had Wi-Fi and a long plane flight. 飞行时间长而又刚好有网Draw your own conclusions. 你推理推理吧Well, guys, that was very, very thoughtful of you. I... 两位这礼物真是非常有心了我... Did you get me a double XL? 你们给我买了XXL号的吗- I told you. - You were right, dear. -我跟你说太大了吧 -你说对了亲爱的Sheldon, that's not how you write a thank you card. 谢尔顿感谢函不是这么写的What's wrong with it? 我写的有哪里不对"Dear Aunt Helen, "亲爱的海伦阿姨Thank you so much for the lovely place setting. 谢谢您送给我们的这套令人喜爱的餐具If my handwriting looks strained, 如果我的字迹看起来不太自然that is because this is the 16th thank you card 那是因为这是我被艾米逼着写的Amy has forced me to write. 第16张感谢函The muscles in my wrist are cramping 我忍着用肌肉在抽筋的手腕as I struggle to finish this sentence. 艰苦地写完这句子Ow, ow, oh, the pain. 哎哟哎哟疼死我了Love, Sheldon." 爱你的谢尔顿敬上"Fine. 行行行"And Amy." "谢尔顿与艾米敬上"This one is from Leonard and Penny. 这份礼物是莱纳德与佩妮送的"The perfect gift for the perfect couple." "完美的礼物赠于最完美的夫妇"Save that card. We may need to throw it back in their faces. 卡先留着礼物不满意就把卡甩回他们脸上I wonder what it could be. 我真好奇会是什么东西Oh, could be anything. 什么东西都有可能A flute, a letter opener, 一支长笛一把拆信刀one of those pens 或是带裸女图的笔where you put the bikini back on the naked lady. 把笔正着拿墨水就会变成遮羞的比基尼Isn't this nice? 这东西不错啊What is it? 这是什么You know, it's, uh, 你懂的就是...it's one of those... 就是那个...Nope, doesn't do that. 不是没作用Oh, maybe it's candy. 或许是糖果Lick it. 舔舔看I don't want to lick it. You lick it. 我才不要舔你舔吧I'm not gonna lick it. I just brushed my teeth. 我才不要舔我刚刷完牙Is it from one of your dumb sci-fi shows? 是你看的弱智科幻电视剧里的东西吗Uh, none of the sci-fi shows I watch are dumb. 我看的科幻电视剧都不弱智好吗- Sheldon... - Okay, Westworld. -谢尔顿少来 -好啦《西部世界》弱智But this has nothing to do with that show, 但这跟那部剧没有任何关联啊other than it's also inexplicable. 唯一的关联大概就是都令人懵逼Well, Leonard and Penny are our best friends. 莱纳德与佩妮是我们最好的朋友They know us better than anyone. 他们比谁都了解我们俩They said it's the perfect gift. 他们说这是完美的礼物We must be missing something. 那我们肯定是漏了什么细节You don't... 你不会...think it's a marital aid, do you? 觉得这是婚姻"辅助棒"吧Don't be silly. 别犯傻了Amy, how is this big glass shaft going to aid our marriage? 艾米这根玻璃大棒哪里能辅助我们的婚姻啊Do you think when Krypto the Superdog is out flying, 你觉得当超级狗英雄在外面乱飞时Superman has to fly after him with a little baggie? 超人得拿着捡屎袋跟在它后面吗Hmm. Haven't really thought about it before. 这点以前我还真没想过But he doesn't need a baggie, 但超人应该不需要用捡屎袋because he just blasts the poop with his heat vision. 他可以直接用热能光线把屎给炸了You've thought about it before. 你以前绝对想过这件事Oh, I've thought about it a lot. 其实我可常想了What is wrong with Stuart's face? 斯图尔特的脸出了什么问题I think he's smiling. 他好像是在微笑Oh, my God, are they flirting? 天啊他们是在聊骚吗Oh, they're way past flirting. 他们早就过了聊骚期I caught them making out at Sheldon's wedding. 我抓到他们在谢尔顿的婚礼上亲热了Are you sure she wasn't trying to breathe life back into him?你确定她不是在帮他做人工呼吸吗I don't think so. 应该不是When I used that much tongue at CPR training, 当我在心肺复苏课上伸那么多舌头时I had to buy the dummy. 他们会逼我买下那假人Ooh, I have class. 我有课I should go. 我该走了Oh. Okay. 好的- Bye. - Bye. -再见 -再见See ya, guys. 大家再见- Bye. - Bye. -再见 -再见啦So, what's her deal? 她现在是怎么样Is she into you or does she just hate her parents? 她是真对你有意思还是想气自己父母I-I don't know. 我不知道啊We kissed a little at the wedding, 我们在婚礼上亲热了一下and it was great. 感觉一切很美好But we haven't really talked about it since then. 但之后我们没有好好谈过So I-I don't know how she feels about me. 所以我也不知道她对我有何感觉Well, she patted you on the head, 她摸了摸你的头so I'm guessing she feels like you're such a good boy! 所以我猜她觉得你是个乖狗狗Seriously, do you think I should ask her out? 说认真的你们觉得我该去约她吗A-Absolutely. 必须啊Don't let love get away. 别让真爱溜走It is the most important thing in the world. 爱情是世界上最重要的东西Without it, life is dark and meaningless and all you're left with 没了爱情生命一片黑暗且毫无意义is the judgmental gaze of your dog 你剩下的就只有as you finish off a bag of Doritos on the toilet. 独自在马桶上吃完零食后你家狗鄙视的眼神Thanks. 谢谢你You're a real good pal. 你真是个好朋友And now you're a good boy! 你现在也是乖狗狗啦I can't stop thinking about that present. 我无法停止想那个礼物是什么It's driving me crazy. 我快要发疯了Me, too! 我也是The card said it was the perfect gift. 卡片写着那是完美的礼物But it's not a dinosaur fossil or matching pocket watches, 但它不是恐龙化石也不是情侣怀表so I don't see how it can be. 所以我看不出它如何能完美Maybe we're trying too hard. 或许是我们想太多了Maybe it's something simple. 它可能很简单Like Leonard and Penny. 就像他们夫妇一样头脑简单Yes, good. 很好有道理We just need to think like them. 我们只需要进入他们的思维Okay. 好What gift can I get us 有什么礼物能送谢家夫妇to express how grateful we are to have us in their lives?来表达对他们进入我们生命的感谢之情Way to make it simple. 你可真会简化啊I'm just gonna ask them. 我直接去问他们吧No, you can't; it'll hurt their feelings. 不行这会伤了他们的感情I'm okay with that. 这我无所谓啊And they'll know you weren't smart enough 而且他们也会知道你不够聪明to figure it out on your own. 来解出他们送了什么礼物You're right. Oh, this is awful. 你说得对这真是太讨厌了And I can't even comfort myself by stroking 而且我都不能靠抚摸the fossilized tibia of a Pentaceratops. 五角龙胫骨化石来安慰自己Let's just go to sleep. 我们先睡一觉吧We'll look at it in the morning with fresh eyes, 一觉醒来我们就能用全新视角来看and maybe it'll come to us. 说不定一切就会水到渠成Fine. 好吧Or we go tear apart that box and look for a clue. 又或者我们去拆了那盒子寻找线索Staying up past my bedtime and solving mysteries? 过了我睡眠时间不睡觉去玩解谜游戏Who knew married life could be this good? 谁能想到婚姻生活会如此美好What's wrong with his face? 他的脸出了什么问题A lot of people have been asking that. 最近很多人都问过这个问题He's... smiling. 他在...微笑Hey, Stuart, you look pretty happy. 斯图尔特你看起来心情很好啊Oh, yeah. 是啊I, uh, asked Denise out on a date, 我约德妮丝去约会and she said yes. 她答应了Aw. That's great. 太好了But don't smile like that in front of Halley. 但别在哈雷面前这样笑She just started sleeping through the night. 她最近才开始能一觉睡到天亮Sorry. I'm excited. 抱歉我很兴奋I haven't been on a date in a long time. 我很久没约过会了Back when I was dating, 我还约会那会儿I'd always wear a new pair of underwear, just in case. 我总会穿新内裤以免"艳福"来了不好看It's also been a long time since I bought new underwear. 我也很久没买过新内裤了And I probably should, 估计该买了because these are no longer tighty nor whitey. 从紧身白内裤变成松垮灰破裤了Okay, I'm out. 老娘要闪人了If there's a chance someone's gonna see you naked, 当别人有机会看到你的裸体时it's also polite to make sure you're well-groomed down there.你先修剪梳理好"杂毛"是基本礼仪I get it, Howard. I've been busy! 知道了霍华德老娘最近太忙了Hello. 你们好呀I just wanted to pop over and hand-deliver this thank you note我想过来亲手把感谢信交给你们for your very thoughtful wedding gift. 感谢你们送了贴心的新婚礼物Oh, good. You guys liked it? 真好你们喜欢那个礼物吗Well, we liked it a lot more than things that aren't it, 喜欢它多过喜欢不是它的事物I'll tell you that. 我就这么说吧Well, yeah, that's great. 那可太好了Because when we saw it, we thought, 因为我们看到这东西时便想到"Amy and Sheldon just have to have that." "艾米和谢尔顿必须得有这个"Oh, do tell. Now, paint a picture for me, 愿闻其详把当时的情形描述一下like where you were when you found it 这礼物你们在哪发现的and what you thought we'd enjoy doing with it. 你们觉得我们会喜欢用它来做什么Do you not know what it is? 你是不是不知道那是什么Of course he knows what it is. 他当然知道了He's the smartest man in the world. 他可是全世界最聪明的人Well, I don't know about the world. 全世界我可不敢肯定Some of those Chinese fellas are pretty clever. 还有些也挺聪明的中国人呢Now, if you'll excuse me, 失陪一下I'm going to return home and use your gift 我要回家使用你们送的礼物in the manner which it was intended. 而且是按它原本的用途来使用He-He's never gonna figure it out. 他永远都不会猜到I know. 就是啊What are you?! 你到底是什么鬼- Gosh, this makes me happy. - Yeah. -我真是要开心坏了 -对啊Howard, I don't often say this, 霍华德这话我不常说but, good, you're here. Now, 但你在这真的太好了do you know what Leonard and Penny got us for our wedding gift?你知道莱纳德夫妇送了什么新婚礼物给我们吗- Well... - Don't answer. -这个嘛 -别回答I don't want to know. 我不想知道答案I just want to know if you know. 我只想知道你是否知道- I do know. - Okay, great. -我知道 -很好I believe that Amy and I have figured it out. 我认为我和艾米已经猜到了Is it a clue to a scavenger hunt 礼物是不是寻宝游戏的线索that will lead us to the actual present? 它将会指引我们找到真正的礼物If you're asking 如果你是在问if you and Amy should spend the next couple days 你和艾米未来几天是否该满城跑running all over town searching for the next clue, 寻找下一条线索I'm gonna have to say yes. 那我只能说是的I knew it! 我就知道This is so much fun. 这太好玩了Oh, it really is. 真的好玩死了Oh, Leonard, thank you again. 莱纳德再次谢谢你We love the gift. 我们爱死那份礼物了Does he know what it is? 他知道那是什么了吗No, not even close. 边都没沾上He thinks it's a clue to a scavenger hunt. 他以为礼物是寻宝游戏的线索So, so happy. 小爷我开心坏了Well, what is it? What did you give them? 你们送了什么礼物给他们Oh, I-it's just this dumb crystal wand 就是我们结婚时that Howard and Bernadette gave us for our wedding. 霍华德夫妇送给我们的一根智障水晶棒Penny and I made each other miserable 佩妮和我想得头都大了trying to figure out what it was, and we thought, 都没猜到是什么于是我们寻思"Why not pass that fun along to Sheldon and Amy." "不如把这份乐趣传给谢尔顿和艾米吧" Wait a minute. Did-- 等等你...did you give them the crystal chakra wand 你把我送给你们的结婚礼物that I gave you for your wedding? 水晶脉轮能量棒送给他们了吗Yeah, that's exactly what we did. 对我们是这么做了You said you liked it! 你说你喜欢这礼物啊Yeah, that's exactly what I said. 对我是这么说了Wow. A scavenger hunt. 寻宝游戏啊That's exciting. 真令人兴奋I had a bit of a scavenger hunt myself last night. 我昨晚也玩了寻宝游戏I was trying to find the remote. 我想找遥控器I looked under one of the cushions. 找了一下沙发坐垫底下Wasn't there. 没有Then I lifted the cushion a little higher. 然后我把坐垫再掀高一点Bingo. 找到了Riveting. 精彩So, do you know what it is? 你知道这是什么吗Of course I know what it is. 我当然知道了It's a silicon dioxide crystal, otherwise known as quartz. 这是二氧化硅晶体也就是石英Are you sure? 你确定吗Am I sure? Is basalt a mafic extrusive igneous rock formed 还我确定吗玄武岩是由富含镁铁的熔岩by the rapid cooling of magnesium and iron-rich lava? 快速冷却形成的镁铁质火成岩吗Yeah, I'm sure. 我当然确定了Okay, so it's quartz. 所以是石英That's got to mean something. 这一定有什么含义What do we know about quartz? 我们对石英有什么认识I'll Google it. 我上网查一下Or you can ask me, 你也可以问我这个the geologist who won the MacArthur Genius Grant. 荣获麦克阿瑟天才奖的地质学家Got it! 查到了Quartz, from the German "Quarz" 石英一词来自德语which sounds the same, but is spelled without a "T". 两词发音相同但英语拼写多了一个"T" Interesting. No "T". 有意思没有"T"What is not "T"? 什么东西非"T"也[音似"茶"]Coffee! 咖啡The coffee shop where we first met! 我们第一次见面的那家咖啡店All right, let's go. Sorry. 好的咱们走抱歉I think I just had an adrenaline rush from having visitors. 难得有人来找我我不禁肾上腺素飙升Hey, Raj, will you, um, smell something for me? 拉杰你能帮我闻个东西吗Uh, that depends. 看情况Actually, it doesn't depend. Just no. 其实不用看我直接拒绝I'm trying out some new colognes for my date with Denise.我在试跟德妮丝约会要用的新古龙水Oh, and you just came over here 所以你就直接到我跟前to rub it in my face that you have a date? 炫耀你跟妹子有约会吗No. 不是I came over here because I need advice, 我来找你是因为我需要建议and you've gone out with more women than anybody I know. 而你是我认识的人里跟最多妹子约过会的Huh. I guess you're right. 我想你说得对Sheldon's the smart one, Howard's the funny one, 谢尔顿最聪明霍华德最幽默and apparently, I'm the ladies' man. 而本公子很明显是最花的Which one's Leonard? 那莱纳德呢Oh, yeah, right. 对哦I guess Leonard's the forgettable one. 莱纳德应该是最没存在感的Okay, let's have a whiff. 好我来闻一下Hmm. Smells like Paco Rabanne. 闻起来像帕高·拉巴纳牌的香水Ooh, you're good. I bought it at a swap meet. 你真厉害我在跳蚤市场买的It's actually called "Smells Like Paco Rabanne." 名字就叫"闻起来像帕高·拉巴纳的香水" It's great. She's gonna love it. 很好她会喜欢的I hope so. 但愿如此I really like Denise, and I don't want to screw this up. 我真的很喜欢德妮丝我不想搞砸了Hey, relax. 放轻松Trust your instincts. That's what I do. 相信你的直觉我就是这么做的And that works for you? 这让你纵横情场了吗Actually... no. 事实上没有I've made a mess of my life, and I'm... 我把自己的人生搞得一团糟I'm all alone. 现在孤苦无依Okay, I think it'd be best for both of us 我最好还是假装要走开接电话吧if I pretend to get a phone call and just walk away. 这样场面不会这么尴尬Yeah, that would be best. 行这样最好Hello. This is Stuart. 你好我是斯图尔特Sorry. I got to take this. 抱歉我得接个电话Uh, why, yes, I'd love to take a survey. 当然我乐意做问卷调查Okay, this is where we first met. 这是我们初次相遇的地方There's got to be a clue here somewhere. 肯定在某个地方有线索We sat at that table. 我们坐的是那张桌子Excuse me. 你这是做什么I'm sorry. We're on a scavenger hunt. 抱歉我们在寻宝Just pretend we're not here. 无视我们就行Oh, I found something! 我找到了It's gum. 是口香糖Maybe they left it behind the counter. 也许他们放在柜台后面I met my wife here, and we sat at this very table, 我和妻子在这里相遇当时坐的就是这张桌子so if you play your cards right, in eight years, 所以如果你好好表现八年后you could marry this woman. 你就可以娶这位女士That's my sister. 这是我妹妹Well, don't tell people. That's not okay. 别说出来兄妹恋可不好Sheldon, look, I asked the barista 谢尔顿你看我问咖啡师if anyone left anything for us, 是否有人留东西给我们and she said to look in this lost and found box. 她让我们在失物招领箱中找But why would it be in the lost and found box? 但为什么会在失物招领箱里Because we were lost, and then we found each other. 因为我们曾经迷失结果找到了彼此It makes perfect sense. 这太有道理了Oh. And look at this. 看这个A locket. 一个吊坠And that stone in front-- I bet it's quartz. 上面的石头我打赌是石英This must be it. This must be the actual gift. 肯定是这个这个才是真正的礼物Open it up. What's inside? 打开里面有什么Nothing. It's empty. 没东西空的Of course. 当然了Our life together is just starting, 我们共同的生活才刚刚开始and they want us to fill it with our memories. 他们希望我们用共同的回忆填满它This might be the best wedding gift ever. 这可能是史上最贴心的结婚礼物了They also left us a pair of sunglasses 他们还给我们送了副墨镜because our future's so bright! 因为我们的未来太耀眼了They thought of everything! 他们想得太周到了Look what Halley drew. 看哈雷的画Yeah, she made it at daycare. 她在托儿所画的It's pretty good, huh? 画得真不错啊Is it? 是吗Wow. Gentile moms are tough. 非犹太妈妈好严格啊Guys, I need to show you something, 两位我要给你们看点东西but you have to promise not to make fun of me. 但你们得保证不能取笑我Of course. 那当然Yeah. I was worried about the date 我很担心约会的事so I got my hair colored to make me feel a little more confident, 所以给头发染了色让自己更加自信but that just made me look paler, so I-I got a spray tan. 结果更显皮肤苍白所以我去做了美黑Have you tried showering, 你试过冲澡了吗seeing if you could scrub it off? 看是否能擦洗掉I did. 试了You're gonna need some new towels. 你们需要买新的毛巾And a bathmat. 浴室脚垫And a toilet seat. 还有马桶座圈I'm picking her up in an hour. 一小时后我就得去接她What am I gonna do?! 我该怎么办Don't you mean what are you gonna 你是不是应该说"Oompa Loompa doompety do"? "你要呜巴鲁巴怎么办""Oompa Loompa doompety do"? 《查理和巧克力工厂》里的橙色小矮人唱的歌You said you weren't gonna make any jokes. 你说你不会嘲笑我的I'm sorry. I'll stop. 抱歉我不说了I won't stop. 我不会停Look, it's only a spray tan. 只是喷雾美黑It'll fade in a couple days. 几天就褪色了Why don't you cancel the date and reschedule? 你不如取消约会再安排时间Oh, but I was really looking forward to tonight. 但我超级期待今晚呢You know what? Then go. Tell her what happened. 那就去吧把实情告诉她- Maybe she'll be flattered. - And if not, -也许她会高兴 -如果她不高兴swing by the chocolate factory and see if they're hiring. 就顺路去巧克力工厂看那里是否招工That wasn't a joke. That was a legitimate suggestion. 这不是笑话这是真心的建议Hello? 喂Hey, Dad. 老爸Rajesh. What a nice surprise, calling me on my birthday. 拉杰什真是惊喜居然在我生日时打给我Yes. That's why I'm calling. 对我就是为这事打来的And-and what better gift to give you than the gift 还有什么生日礼物比得上of marrying an Indian woman, just like you've always wanted.我满足你的期望去娶一个印度女人呢My goodness, Rajesh, this is exciting news. 我的天拉杰什这是天大的好消息Who is she? 她是谁You tell me. 你告诉我啊What? 什么I want you to arrange a marriage for me. 我希望你帮我安排一桩婚姻I'm just so tired of being single, 我实在是厌倦了单身and I'm finally just... I'm-I'm ready to settle down. 我终于...我准备好成家了I can't just call up some girl's dad 我不能随便打电话给一个姑娘的爸爸and make her marry you. 让她嫁给你啊It's-it's not 2015 anymore. 现在可不是2015年的世道了I know that, but I can't do this on my own. I need your help. 我知道但我一个人结不了婚我需要你帮忙Well, then, I'm going to need your help, too. 那我也需要你的帮助If I'm going to find a woman to set you up with, 如果我要帮你介绍一个女人you're going to need to stop Instagramming pictures 你就不能再在网上发你和你的狗of you and your dog wearing matching sweaters. 穿情侣毛衣的照片Fine, if that's what it takes to show you that I'm serious. 行为了让你看到我的诚意我同意Uh, quick question. 问一下Do you mean just Instagram, or all my social...? 你是单指照片分享网还是所有社交网...All of them! 全部的Okay, deal. 好说定了All right. Let me ask you a question. 好那我问你一个问题What do you think of this woman? 你觉得这个女孩怎么样Oh. Oh, my God, she's beautiful. 我的天好漂亮Is that who you're going to set me up with? 这是你要给我介绍的对象吗No! That's who I'm dating. 不这是我在泡的妞But maybe she has an older sister. 但也许她有姐姐So we put a little picture of me 所以我们在里面放了我的照片and a little picture of Sheldon in it. 还有谢尔顿的照片In-in the locket? 放进吊坠里Yes. 是的That was in a lost and found box? 之前是在失物招领箱里的吊坠Exactly. 没错Where we hid it? 我们把它藏在那里So really, you gave us three amazing gifts. 真的你们送了我们三件超棒的礼物You gave the locket, the adventure 你们送了吊坠精彩冒险and the realization that Amy and I can do anything 并且让艾米和我发现只要我俩合作as long as we work together. 便无所不能We wrote you a special thank you note. 我们给你们写了张特别的感谢卡Are those words? 这些是文字吗No. 不是It's a secret code that you two get to figure out together. 这是要你俩一起破译的密码Hint, it's based on Sanskrit, 提示这是以梵文为基础的but not the Sanskrit you're thinking of. 但不是你们以为的那种梵文And best of all, you can't use the Internet to cheat. 最精彩的在于你们不能作弊上网查Because we locked you out of your Wi-Fi, 因为我们锁住了你们的无线网and the answer to this is your new password. 而答案就是新密码I'm no longer happy. 我不开心了Hey, guys. Great news. 各位好消息I'm getting married. 我要结婚了- What? - No. -什么 -不Well, I-I haven't met her yet, 我还没见过她but her name is Anu. 她叫安努My father says she comes from a good family. 我父亲说她出身良好家庭She's in her 30s. 30多岁She works in hospitality management. 她做酒店管理工作So, as long as I can get through six to ten dates 只要我能挺过六到十次约会without revealing my true self... 不暴露我的真面目...this is happening. 我就真能结婚了I know just what we're giving them for a wedding gift. 我知道我们要送什么结婚礼物了Oh, my God. 我的天Yeah. 是的I wanted to look my best for our date, 我希望在约会时展现自己最好的一面and I made a series of bad decisions... 于是我做了一系列悲催的决定...one of which is hidden by my pants. 其中一个悲催决定被我裤子遮住了Do you still want to go out with me? 你还想和我约会吗Absolutely. Hey, maybe we can go find Nemo together. 当然也许我们可以一起去找尼莫Absolutely. Hey, maybe we can go find Nemo together. 《海底总动员》中的橙色小丑鱼That's a good one. 这个哏不错Do your 63 other crayon friends know you're out? 另外63支蜡笔朋友知道你出来了吗Are you just gonna make fun of me all night? 你会取笑我一整晚吗- Probably. - Great. -应该吧 -很好So what are we thinking, Chinese? 想吃什么中国菜吗Yeah, I'm in the mood for orange chicken. 好啊我有点想吃香橙鸡。
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I'veJustBittenMyTongue"Arewepoisonous?"theyoungsnakeaskedhismother."Yes,dear,"shereplied-"Whydoyouask?""CauseI'vejustbittenmytongue!"我刚咬破自己的舌头“我们有毒吗？”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。
“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么？”“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。
”NestandHairMysister,aprimaryschoolteacher,wasinformedbyoneofherpupilsthatabirdhadbuiltitsnestinthetreeoutsidetheclassroom."Whatkindofbird?"mysisterasked."Ididn'tseethebird,ma'am,onlythenest,"repliedthechild."Then,canyougiveusadescriptionofthenest?"mysisterencouragedher."Well,ma'am,itjustresemblesyourhair.".鸟窝与头发我姐姐是一位小学老师。
一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外的树上垒了个窝。
“是什么鸟呢？”我姐姐问她。
“我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。
”那孩子回答说。
“那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”我姐姐鼓励她道。
“哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。
”Bringmethewinner--Waiter,thislobsterhasonlyoneclaw.--I'msorry,sir.Itmusthavebeeninafight.--Well,bringmethewinnerthen.给我那个打赢的吧--服务员，这个龙虾只有一只爪。
--对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。
--哦，那给我那个打赢的吧。
Dickwassevenyearsold,andhissister,Catherine,wasfive.Onedaytheirmothertookthemtotheiraunt'shous etoplaywhileshewenttothebigcitytobuysomenewclothes.Thechildrenplayedforanhour,andthenathalfpastfourtheiraunttookDickintothekitchen.Shegavehimanice cakeandaknifeandsaidtohim,"Nowhere'saknife,Dick.Cutthiscakeinhalfandgiveoneofthepiecestoyoursister,butremembertodoitlikeagentleman.""Likeagentleman?"Dickasked."Howdogentlemendoit?""Theyalwaysgivethebiggerpiecetotheotherperson."answeredhisauntatonce."Oh"saidDick.Hethoughtaboutthisforafewseconds.Thenhetookthecaketohissisterandsaidtoher,"Cutthiscakeinhalf,Catherine.".迪克年龄七岁，他的妹妹凯瑟琳五岁。
一天，妈妈把他们带到姨妈家去玩，自己就到大城市去买些新的衣服。
孩子们玩了个把小时，在四点半的时候，姨妈领着迪克走进了厨房。
她交给迪克一块精美的蛋糕和一把刀子，并对他说：“喏，迪克，给你刀子，把这块蛋糕一切为二，给你妹妹一块。
不过，你得记住要做得像一个绅士那样。
”迪克问：“像一个绅士？绅士怎样做呢？”他姨妈马上回答说：“绅士总是把大的一块让给别人的。
”迪克说了一声“噢”。
他对此想了一会，然后，他把蛋糕拿给妹妹，并对她说：“凯瑟琳，你来把这块蛋糕一切为二吧。
”I'mTryingtoStopIt“I'msorry，Madam，butIshallhavetochargeyoutwentydollarsforpullingyourboy'stooth.”“Twentydollars!Why，Iunderstandyoutosaythatyouchargedonlyfourdollarsforsuchwork!”“Yes，butthisyoungsteryelledsoterriblythathescaredfourotherpatientsoutoftheoffice.”“对不起，夫人，为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。
”“20美元！为什么？不是说好只要4美元。
”“是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四个病人吓跑了。
”"Boy,whyhaveyougotcotton-woolinyourear?Isitinfected?""No,sir,butyousaidyesterdaythateverythingyoutoldmewentinoneearandouttheother,soIamtryingtostopit."“孩子，你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵？它感染了吗？”“没有，老师。
可是你昨天说你告诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进，一个耳朵里出，所以我要把它堵在里面。
”Thelectureronevolutionhadbeengoingonfornearlytwohours.thenhestartedagain,andsaidhe:"Letmeaskt heevolutionistaquestion---ifwehadtailslikeababoon,wherearethey?""I'llventureananswer,"saidanoldlady."Wehavewornthemoffsittingheresolong.".heyAreDirectlyfromAmericaNotlongafteranoldChinesewomencamebacktochinafromhervisittoherdaughterintheSates,shewenttoaci tybanktodeposittheU.S.dollarsherdaughtergiveher.Atthebankcounter,themoneywasreal.Itmadyoutofpa tience.Atlastshecouidnotholdanymore,uttering:“trustme,Sir,andtrustthemoney.TheyarerealU.S.dollars.They.aredirectlyfromAmerica.”汉译：真美钞一位中国老妇人到美国去看望女儿回来不久，到一家银行取存女儿送给她的美元。
在银行柜台，银行职员认真仔细的检查了每一张钞票看，是否有假。
这种做法使老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。
这都是真正的美元，是从美国直接带来的。
”HeWonTommy:Howisyourlittlebrother,Johnny?Johnny:Heisillinbed.Hehurthimself.Tommy:That'stoobad.Howdidthathappen?Johnny:Weplayedwhocouldleanfurthestoutofthewindow,andhewon.他赢了汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？约翰尼：他害病卧床了。
他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
IHaveHisEarinMyPocketIvancamehomewithabloodynoseandhismotherasked,"Whathappened?""Akidbitme,"repliedIvan."Wouldyourecognizehimifyousawhimagain?"askedhismother."I'dknowhimanywhere,"saidIvan."Ihavehisearinmypocket."他的耳朵在我衣兜里伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。
他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。
“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。
”AGoodBoyLittleRobertaskedhismotherfortwocents."WhatdidyoudowiththemoneyIgaveyouyesterday?""Igaveittoapooroldwoman,"heanswered."You'reagoodboy,"saidthemotherproudly."Herearetwocentsmore.Butwhyareyousointerestedintheoldwoman?""Sheistheonewhosellsthecandy."好孩子小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。
“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。
“再给你两分钱。
可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”“她是个卖糖果的。
”DrunkOneday,afatherandhislittlesonweregoinghome.Atthisage,theboywasinterestedinallkindsofthingsandw asalwaysaskingquestions.Now,heasked,"What'sthemeaningoftheword'Drunk',dad?""Well,myson,"hisf atherreplied,"look,therearestandingtwopolicemen.IfIregardthetwopolicemenasfourthenIamdrunk.""But,dad,"theboysaid,"there'sonlyONEpoliceman!"醉酒一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。