搞笑无厘：美国人电话留言精选-趣味英语.doc
电话英语-4.留言
电话英语-4.留言留言62．i’m sorry，but he’s on another line now．对不起，他在接另一个电话。
63．would you care to hold？您要稍等一下吗？64．could you take a message，please？能不能为我留下话？65．i’ll give him the message．我会转告他。
66．anything else？还有其他事吗？67．that’s all．thank you for trouble taken．就这些，感谢你的耐心。
68．i’m sorry，but he is out of the office right now．很抱歉，他现在不在办公室里。
69．when will he be back？他什么时候回来？70．i wonder if you could give mr．wang a message for me？你能不能给王先生带个口信？71．just a minute．i’ll get a pen．请等一下，我拿支笔。
72．i’ll 1et him know，mf．brown．我会转告他的，布朗先生。
73．no．i really need to talk to him personally．不，我真的需要亲自跟他说。
74．would you like to leave a message on his voice mail，then？那您要不要留话在他的语音信箱里？75．hold on and i’ll transfer you．稍候，我会帮您转过去。
76．i’m not available to take your call，but please your name，number and a brief message．我现在不能接您的电话，但请您留下您的姓名、电话号码和简短留言。
77．i’ll get back to you as soon as possible．我会尽快回您电话。
超级搞笑的英文文案
超级搞笑的英文文案1. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right." 我不是在争论，我只是在解释为什么我是对的。
2. "I have a photographic memory, but I always forget to charge my camera." 我有过目不忘的记忆力，但我总是忘记给相机充电。
3. "I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it." 我正在进行海鲜饮食法。
我看到食物就吃。
4. "I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not sure." 我以前很犹豫不决，但现在我不确定了。
5. "I want to be like a caterpillar and eat leaves all day. But then I remember I'm not a caterpillar." 我想像毛毛虫一样整天吃叶子。
但我又想起我不是毛毛虫。
6. "I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed." 我太擅长睡觉了，我可以闭着眼睛做。
7. "My doctor told me to stop having香辣鸡翅 for breakfast. But I said,'Doc, it's the only thing that keeps me going in the morning!'" 我的医生告诉我不要再把香辣鸡翅当早餐吃了。
但我说，“医生，这是早上唯一能让我有动力的东西！”8. "I've been told I have a good sense of humor, but I don't get the joke." 有人告诉我我很有幽默感，但我不明白这个笑话。
国外幽默笑话
国外幽默笑话
国外四则幽默笑话
1、接到⼀业务电话，新加坡来的。
对⽅开始讲英语，后来变成汉语，原来⼈家汉语讲得不错。
最后挂电话的时候问我贵姓，要给我发传真。
俺告诉他：“别客⽓，我姓陈，尔东陈。
”
过了⼀会⼉，秘书说有⼀份传真不知道给谁的，俺过去看了⼀眼，差点晕倒。
传真上赫然写着：
Attn：Miss Chen Er dong
Subject：……
2、邻居：汽车出⽑病了？
汤⽶：是啊，我买了⼀个省油百分之三⼗的阀门，⼀个省油百分之四⼗的汽化器，和⼀组省油百分之五⼗的⽕花塞。
邻居：结果怎么样？
汤⽶：车⼦开出去⼆⼗公⾥后，油箱⾥的油多得溢出来了！
3、⼀对新婚夫妇正要下⽕车，新娘对新郎说：“亲爱的，我们做出结婚很久的样⼦给别⼈看看！ ”
新郎说：“好的，你提着⾐箱，⾛在我的后头！ ”
4、多年以后，汤姆成⼦海军陆战队的⼀名出⾊的少校，他的.家庭也充满了浓厚的军事⾊彩。
有⼀天，朋友到他家去聚餐。
只见威望门⼝写着“给养供应处”，客厅门⼝写着“情报交流站”。
⼉⼦的卧室门中写着“男兵宿舍”，⼥⼉的卧室门⼝着“⼥兵宿舍”。
朋友想象汤姆夫妇的卧室⼀定挂着“司令部”的牌⼦，谁知上⾯写着：“新兵培养中⼼”。
【国外四则幽默笑话】相关⽂章：
12-15
11-25
12-28
09-26
07-28
11-23
11-27
11-16
06-17。
搞笑的英语笑话段子
英语笑话连篇1. Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.2. Hi. I am probably home. I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.3. Hi. This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.4. Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back.5. If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave us a message.中文翻译接龙1．嗨，我现在不在家，但我的答录机在，所以你可以和它说。
英语幽默笑话集锦
英语幽默笑话集锦笑话1：鸡蛋的问题小明问小华：“你怎么知道一个鸡蛋是生的还是熟的？”小华：“很简单，我把鸡蛋放进水里，如果浮起来就是生的，如果沉下去就是熟的。
”小明：“那如果鸡蛋半浮半沉呢？”小华：“那就是半生不熟。
”笑话2：打电话小明用英语给外国朋友打电话：“Hello! Is it Mr. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友说：“I’m sorry, you have the wrong number.”小明再打一次：“Hello! Is it Mrs. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友愤怒地说：“No, I told you already, you have the wrong number!”小明再打一次：“Hello! Is it Mr. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友非常生气：“I can’t believe you called me again! This is not Mr. Brown’s residence!”小明笑着说：“I know, but I just love hearing you say it!”笑话3：父亲的损失小明的父亲对他说：“小明，你知道我为什么戴假发吗？”小明好奇地问：“为什么呢？”父亲严肃地回答：“因为我是个有发言权的人。
”笑话4：天堂和地狱有一天，人们来到上帝面前询问天堂和地狱的存在。
他们问上帝：“天堂和地狱是什么样子的？”上帝微笑着回答：“我带你们去看一看。
”首先，上帝打开了通向地狱的门。
门一打开，他们看到里面是一个宴会厅，摆满了美食和饮料，但每个人手中都拿着又长又粗的筷子，无法把食物送入嘴中。
接着，上帝带着他们去了天堂。
天堂的门打开后，他们看到了和地狱一样的情景，宴会厅里也是美食和饮料满满，每个人同样手中拿着又长又粗的筷子。
但人们却高兴地吃得很满足，因为在天堂里，他们都学会了相互喂食。
笑话5：自动售货机小明走到一个自动售货机前，看见上面写着：“请用英语选择您要购买的商品。
美国垃圾话英语,但是很能学习美国文化
1，Hey！wise up！放聪明点好吗？2，Put up or shut up.要么你就去做，不然就给我闭嘴。
3，You eat with that mouth？你是用这张嘴吃饭的吗？4，You are dead meat.你死定了。
5，Don't you dare！How dare you！你好大的胆子啊！6，Don't push me around.不要摆布我。
7，You want to step outside？想到外去单挑吗？1.Stop complaining! 别发牢骚！2. You make me sick! 你真让我恶心！3. What's wrong with you? 你怎么回事？4. You shouldn't have done that! 你真不应该那样做!5. You're a jerk! 你是个废物/混球！6. Don't talk to me like that! 别那样和我说话!7. Who do you think you are? 你以为你是谁？8. What's your problem? 你怎么回事啊？9. I hate you! 我讨厌你！10. I don't want to see your face! 我不愿再见到你！11. You're crazy! 你疯了!12. Are you insane/crazy/out of your mind? 你疯了吗？（美国人绝对常用！）13. Don't bother me. 别烦我。
14. Knock it off. 少来这一套。
15. Get out of my face. 从我面前消失！16. Leave me alone. 走开。
17. Get lost.滚开！18. Take a hike! 哪儿凉快哪儿歇着去吧。
19. You [***] me off. 你气死我了。
让你吐血的超级搞笑英文翻译
1．we two who and who？咱俩谁跟谁阿2．how are you ? how old are you?怎么是你，怎么老是你？3．you don't bird me,I don't bird you你不鸟我，我也不鸟你4．you have seed I will give you some color to see see,brothers！together up ！你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧，兄弟们，一起上！5．hello everybody!if you have something to say,they say! if you have nothing to say,go home!!有事起奏，无事退朝6．you me you me彼此彼此7．You Give Me Stop!!你给我站住！8．know is know noknow is noknow知之为知之，不知为不知…9．WATCH SISTER表妹10．dragon born dragon,chicken born chicken,mouse's sons can make hole!!龙生龙，凤生凤，老鼠的儿子会打洞！11．American Chinese not enough美中不足12．one car come one car go ,two car pengpeng,people die车祸现场描述13．heart flower angry open心花怒放14．go past no mistake past走过路过，不要错过15．小明：I am sorry!老外：I am sorry too!小明：I am sorry three!老外：What are you sorry for?小明：I am sorry five!16.If you want money,I have no; if you want life,I have one!要钱没有，要命一条17．I call Li old big. toyear 25.我叫李老大，今年25。
搞笑讽刺人的英文句子说说心情
搞笑讽刺人的英文句子说说心情1. 讽刺虚伪人的英语句子2. You make me sick！你真让我恶心！3. What's wrong with you？你怎么回事？4.You shouldn't have done that！你真不应该那样做！5.You're a jerk！你是个废物/混球！6.Don't talk to me like that！别那样和我说话！7.Who do you think you are？你以为你是谁？8.What's your problem？你怎么回事啊？9. I hate you！我讨厌你！10.I don't want to see your face！我不愿再见到你！11.You're crazy！你疯了！12.Are you insane/crazy/out of your mind？你疯了吗？ 13.Don't bother me. 别烦我。
14.Knock it off. 少来这一套。
15.Get out of my face. 从我面前消失！ 16.Leave me alone. 走开。
17. Get lost.滚开！ 18.Take a hike！哪儿凉快哪儿歇着去吧。
19.You piss me off. 你气死我了。
20.How dare you！你敢！ 21.Cut it out. 省省吧。
22.You stupid jerk！你这蠢猪！ 23.You have a lot of nerve. 脸皮真厚。
24.Shut up！闭嘴！ 25.What were you thinking？你脑子进水啊？ 26.You are out of your mind. 你脑子有毛病！ 27. Don't give me your shit. 别跟我胡扯。
28.You're a pain in the ass. 你这讨厌鬼。
关于打电话留言的英语对话
关于打电话留言的英语对话 篇1 Frank：This is Frank speaking. May I ask who is calling Jane：This is Jane. I would like to speak with Mr. Wang, please。 Frank：Im sorry, hes not here at the moment. Hes gone to the International Business Center。 Jane：When do you expect him back Frank：Im not sure. He didnt say when hed return. If youd like, you can leave him a message, and hell get back to you the moment hes free。 Jane：Yes, thank you. When he gets back, please let him know that Jane called and I need him to call me back。 Frank：Does he have your number Jane：Yes, he does. But Ill give it to you again, 5-2-6-4-4-5-3-6. Frank：That was 5-2-6-4-4-5-3-6, right Jane：Yes. Thank you very much。 Frank：Youre welcome。 篇2 Steven is giving a call to Mr. Brown, but Mr. Brown is not in, so he asks for leaving a message. 史蒂文给布朗先生打电话，但布朗不在，于是他想给对方留言。 Steven: Hello This is Steven. Id like to speak to Mr. Brown, please. 史蒂文：你好，我是史蒂文。我想和布朗先生通电话。 Mrs. Brown: Im afraid he is not in at the moment. 布朗太太：他这会儿不在。 Steven: Then what time do you think he will be in 史蒂文：你认为他什么时间会回来 Mrs. Brown: I suppose he wont come back until 6 p.m. By the way, do you want to call later, or would you like to leave a message 布朗太太：我估计他要到下午六点才会回来。对了，你是想稍后再打来，还是留个口信
无厘头幽默的英语句子
无厘头幽默的英语句子1. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.2. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.3. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.4. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.5. Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was in tents.6. An invisible man married an invisible woman. Their kids were nothing to look at either.7. I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.8. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.9. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.10. My friend asked me if I wanted to hear a really good "knock knock" joke. I said, "Sure, tell me." He replied, "Okay, you start!"11. I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over it.12. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!13. I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.14. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.15. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.16. I went to the zoo the other day. It was empty except for a single dog.It was a shih tzu.17. Why did the tomato turn into a prune? Because it couldn't ketchup.18. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.19. My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.20. Do you want to hear a construction joke? Oh wait, I'm still working on it.21. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.22. Why don't skeletons fight in battles? They don't have the guts.23. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.24. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.25. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.26. What happens when you go to the bathroom in France? European.27. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.28. What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!29. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.30. How do you organize a space party? You "planet"!。
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中国家庭并不常用电话答录机(Answering Machine),但在北美家庭，几乎家家都用。
外来电话拨入时，若该电话号码的主人不在，就会让拨入者听到一段留言，这叫Answer。
绝大多数的Answer都是千篇一律的：说明主人不在，请拨入者留下简短信息及姓名电
话号码等。
以下几则特别的Answer体现了美国人的幽默，你能体会出其幽默所在吗？
(1) My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
(2) Hi. This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
(3) Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep(beep：主人的Answer
讲完以后，Answer Machine会发出一声beep,这时候来电话者就可以开始留言了。
).
(4) Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets(磁铁). 注：通常情况下，来电话者面对录音讲话都不太自然，所以语言往往很急促，三句两句话就完了。
这可苦坏了接听留言的主人，听多少遍都听不清留言者到底是谁，讲了些什么。
对于母语非英文的人，这种感觉会更深。
所以，以下这两段幽默干脆就首先告诉电话拨入者，我的Answer Machine不好使，你且慢慢来。
(5) Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped(私奔)with her tape deck(磁带驱动器), so I'm stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.
(6) Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding(墙板，壁板), windows, or a hot tub(浴盆), and their carpets are clean. They give to charity(慈善团体)through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.
(7) Hi. I am probably home. I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
(8) This is not an answering machine -- this is a telepathic(心灵感应术)thought- recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call.注：tone：与对第3)句beep的注释含义完全一样，主人的Answer讲完以后，Answer Machine会发出一声beep,这时候来电话者就可以开始留言了。
给我三个月，还你一口好英语
(9) Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back.
(10) If you are a burglar(夜贼), then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave us a message.
(11) You're growing tired. Your eyelids(眼皮) are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower(毅力) and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to(感到无助而被迫
做某事) leave your name, number, and a message.
(12) Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.注：you have the right to remain silent：电影电视里警察出示逮捕令时常讲的一句话。
西方社会讲究人权，任何疑犯在未审判之前不得认为有罪，因而不能逼供、更不可拷打：他们有权保持沉默。
(13) Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right ... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll get back to you.。