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5天内，超过60万次浏览量的最新TED演讲“二十岁一去不再来”激起了世界各地的热烈讨论。Meg Jay身为临床心理治疗师，专门为20多岁的青年人提供各种咨询服务，她说：“当我还在念Ph.D.的时候遇到了第一位病人，一个26岁的女生向我倾诉她的爱情困惑。对于二十多岁的年轻男女来说，这也是再常见不过的了，所以我很自然地就陷入了附和的状态，随着她说,’三十岁会是新的二十岁’。事实也确实如此，事业发展，家庭建立，甚至死亡都是很遥远的事情。二十多岁花不完的就是时间，为爱情困惑下显得没什么大不了。” 然而Meg的导师可不这么认为，他告诫Meg,“如果二十多岁的女孩难以走出错误的恋爱关系，那么很有可能日后她将进入错误的婚姻。”

二十岁，常常被挂在嘴边的青春，常常被称为“再不疯狂就老了”的甜蜜光阴，在临床心理学来说又是人成长定性的重要时段，这十年将为日后几十年的职业和家庭树立了方向。许多人活到三十岁，四十岁感慨希望更早得到的人生智慧在Meg看来完全可以告知刚刚起步的青年人，因为那些所谓功成名就的人通常都在35岁左右迈入人生最关键的阶段，而二十多岁正是打基础的重要时间，人的大脑或者身体成熟度都在这段时间达到最高值。如果说孩童5岁前是智力开发的重要时刻，那么20多岁则是成人后发展的重要基石。

Meg说，“要想获得成功，首先要有个计划，其次你要活得足够长看到计划实现。而那些以为二十多岁就是用来虚掷光阴的人正在消耗他们有所建树的时间成本，为了不投契的恋人苦恼，为了小事纠结，直到站在三十岁的门槛，猛然醒悟自己的未来还一片迷茫，身边人都安定下来，为了和大家保持一致，于是赶紧抓住身边的一个人结婚就好像大家在玩抢板凳的游戏。”

二十多岁的人，常常困惑自己没有“身份定位”，好像可以做很多事情，但又没有足够的资历去担当任何事。

二十多岁的人，常常抱怨或者感叹：家庭出身无法选择。

二十多岁的人，看别人的生活都很精彩，看自己的生活乏然无味。

Meg说：“第一，我常告诉二十多岁的男孩女孩，不要为你究竟是谁而烦恼，开始思考你可以是谁，并且去赚那些说明你是谁的资本。现在就是最好的尝试时机，不管是海外实习，还是创业，或者做公益。第二，年轻人经常聚在一起，感情好到可以穿一条裤子。可是社会中许多机会是从弱关系开始的，不要把自己封锁在小圈子里，走出去你才会对自己的经历有更多的认识。第三，记住你可以选择自己的家庭。你的婚姻就是未来几十年的家庭，就算你要到三十岁结婚，现在选择和什么样的人交往也是至关重要的。简而言之，二十岁是不能轻易挥霍的美好时光。”

这段关于20岁青年人如何看待人生的演讲引起了许多TED粉丝的讨论，来自TEDx组织团队的David Webber就说：Meg指出最重要的一点便是青年人需要及早意识到积累经验和眼界，无论是20岁还是30岁，都是有利自己发展的重要事。”

还有人说：“小时候在一家杂货店打工的时候遇到的同事可以分成两类人：一类是想赚点小钱的学生，另一类是不满生活际遇的成年人。那些成年人虽然觉得自己有很高远的梦想，却发现被现实绑住了手脚。而那些成年人之所以难以抽身就是因为他们20岁选择了这一行，他们以为这只是暂时的，可是却没能离开过。”

作为一位就要迈入30的20多岁青年人，小编也深刻感受到所谓成长，所谓积累，因人而异，却不因时代而不同。纵使每个人生长的环境不同，可利用的资源不一，只要尝试，仍然有不少的道路积累自己的“身份资本(Identity Capital)”,今天的你，做了什么吗？

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ted精彩演讲：坠机让我学到的三件事 imagine a big explosion as you climb through 3,000 ft. imagine a plane full of smoke. imagine an engine going clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack. it sounds scary. 想像一个大爆炸，当你在三千多英尺的高空；想像机舱内布满黑烟，想像引擎发出喀啦、喀啦、喀啦、喀啦、喀啦的声响，听起来很可怕。 well i had a unique seat that day. i was sitting in 1d. i was the only one who can talk to the flight attendants. so i looked at them right away, and they said, no problem. we probably hit some birds. the pilot had already turned the plane around, and we werent that far. you could see manhattan. 那天我的位置很特別，我坐在1d，我是(转载于:ted演讲稿三分钟)唯一可以和空服员说话的人，于是我立刻看着他们，他们说，“没问题，我们可能撞上鸟了。”机长已经把机头转向，我们离目的地很近，已经可以看到曼哈顿了。 two minutes later, 3 things happened at the same time. the pilot lines up the plane with the hudson river. thats usually not the route. he turns off the engines. now imagine being in a plane with no sound. and then he says 3 words-the most unemotional 3 words ive ever heard. he says, brace for impact. 两分钟以后，三件事情同时发生：机长把飞机对齐哈德逊河，一般的航道可不是这样。他关上引擎。想像坐在一架没有声音的飞机上。然后他说了几个字，我听过最不带情绪的几个字，他说，“即将迫降，小心冲击。” i didnt have to talk to the flight attendant anymore. i could see in her eyes, it was terror. life was over. 我不用再问空服员什么了。我可以在她眼神里看到恐惧，人生结束了。 now i want to share with you 3 things i learned about myself that day. 现在我想和你们分享那天我所学到的三件事。 i leant that it all changes in an instant. we have this bucket list, we have these things we want to do in life, and i thought about all the people i wanted to reach out to that i didnt, all the fences i wanted to mend, all the experiences i wanted to have and i never did. as i thought about that later on, i came up with a saying, which is, collect bad wines. because if the wine is ready and the person is there, im opening it. i no longer want to postpone anything in life. and that urgency, that purpose, has really changed my life. 在那一瞬间内，一切都改变了。我们的人生目标清单，那些我们想做的事，所有那些我想联络却没有联络的人，那些我想修补的围墙，人际关系，所有我想经历却没有经历的事。之后我回想那些事，我想到一句话，那就是，“我收藏的酒都很差。”因为如果酒已成熟，分享对象也有，我早就把把酒打开了。我不想再把生命中的任何事延后，这种紧迫感、目标性改变了我的生命。 the second thing i learnt that day - and this is as we clear the george washington bridge, which was by not a lot - i thought about, wow, i really feel one real regret, ive lived a good life. in my own humanity and mistaked, ive tired to get better at everything i tried. but in my humanity, i also allow my ego to get in. and i regretted the time i wasted on things that did not matter with people that matter. and i thought about my relationship with my wife, my friends, with people. and after, as i reflected on that, i decided to eliminate negative energy from my life. its not perfect, but its a lot better. ive not had a fight with my wife in 2 years. it feels great. i no

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