英语小故事小笑话

英语小故事

故事一：Park

There is a park near my home.There are a lot of beautiful trees,fl owers and birds in the park.So many people go to the park to enjoy their weekends.They like walking or having a picnic in the park.But I like flying a kite with my sisiter there.

我家附近有一个公园。哪里有很多美丽的树、花和小鸟。所以很多人都喜欢到那里去度周末。他们喜欢在公园里散步或是野餐.但是我喜欢和我姐姐在那里放风筝。

故事二：Bedroom

I have a small bedroom.There are only a small bed,a small desk and a small chair in the room.And there is a beautiful doll on my blue bed.Everyday I do my homework,read books and play games with the doll in my bedroom.It is small,but it gives me much happiness.

我有一间小小的卧室。那里有一张小小的床、小小桌子和一把小小的椅子。而且还有一个漂亮的娃娃在我那张蓝色的小床上。我每天都在房间里写作业，看书和与我的娃娃玩。虽然房间很小，但是他给了我很多欢乐。

故事三：My father

My father is a tall and handsome man.He is a policeman. Everyday he comes back home very late,because he must help the others.He doesn't have time to examine my homework and take me to the park.But I like my father,because he is a good policeman.

我的爸爸是一个高大帅气的男人。他是一个警察。他每天都很晚才回家，因为他要帮助其他的人。他没有时间给我检查作业和带我去公园。但是我仍然很喜欢我的爸爸，因为他是一个好警察。

故事四：

Everybody Knows: You can't be all things to all people. You can't do all things at once. You can't do all things equally well. You can't do all things better

than everyone else. Your humanity is showing just like everyone else's.

每个人都知道：你无法为每个人办到每件事。你无法立刻完成所有的事。你无法把所有的事都做的尽善尽美。你无法把每件事都做的比别人好，你只是和其他人一样。

故事五：My little dog can't read

Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.

我的狗不识字布朗夫人：哦，亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”故事六：罗马是什么时候建成的？When was Rome built?

Teacher: When was Rome built?

Tom: At night.

Teacher : Who told you that?

Tom: You did. You said Rome wasn't built in a day.

教师：罗马是什么时候建成的？

汤姆：夜里。

教师：谁跟你这么说的？

汤姆：是您。您说过罗马不是在一个白天建成的.

故事七：Where do babies come from? 小孩从哪里来？

I asked my father where babies come from.

He says you download them from the Internet.

我问爸爸小孩是从哪里来的，他说是从网上下载的。

故事八：Where is the egg?

Teacher:Can you make a sentence with the word "egg"?

Student:Yes.I ate a piece of cake yesterday.

Teacher:Then where is the “egg"?

Student:In the cake,Sir.

鸡蛋在哪里？

老师：你能用“鸡蛋”一词造句吗？学生：可以。我昨天吃了一块蛋糕。

老师：“鸡蛋”在哪？学生：在蛋糕里，先生

故事九：

Tom is a little boy, and he is only seven years old. Once he goes to a cinema. It is the first time for him to do that. He buys a ticket and goes in. But after two or three minutes he comes out, and buys the second ticket and goes in again. After a few minutes he comes out again and buys the third ticket. Two or three minutes after that he comes out and asks for another ticket. But a girl asks him,“Why do you buy so many tickets? How many friends do you meet?” “No, I have no friends here, but a big woman always stops me at the door and cuts up my ticket.”

汤姆是个小孩，他才7岁。当他去电影院的时候。那时他第一次去。他买了张票进去了。但没过两三分钟他就出来了，然后买了第二张票又进去了。几分钟后他又出来买了第三张票。接着两三分钟后他又出来买票。一个女的问她，“你为什么要买那么多票啊? 你见到了几个朋友？" "没有，我里面没朋友，但是每当我进门的时候一位大的女人老把我的票给剪了"

故事十：

Child:My uncle has 1000 men under him.

Man:He is really somebody.What does do?

Child:A maintenance man in a cemetery

他真是一个大人物

小孩：我叔叔下面有1000个人。

男人：他真是一个大人物。他是干什么的？

小孩：墓地守墓人。

故事十一：

Mr. Smith: Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup.

Waiter: Yes, sir, I know---it's the heat that kills it.

史密斯先生：服务员，我的汤里有一只死苍蝇．

服务员：是的，先生，我知道了，它是被烫死的．

故事十二

Son: Dad, give me a dime.

Father: Son, don't you think you're getting too big to be forever begging for dimes?

Son: I guess you're right, Dad, Give me a dollar, will you?

儿子：爸爸，给我一角钱。

父亲：儿子，你不认为你已经长大了，不该再老是一角一角地要钱了(该自立了)，不是吗？

儿子：爸爸，我想你是对的，那给我一块钱行吗？

故事十三

“I'm sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .”

“Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!”

“Yes，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .”

“对不起，夫人，为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。”

“20美元！为什么？不是说好只要4美元。”

“是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四个病人吓跑了。”

故事十四：A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”

“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。” 故事十五：Animals

There are many kinds of animals in the world. People don’t know the exact numbers. In the zoo, people can see many kinds of animals. For example, lions, tigers, they are scary. Monkey, foxes are intelligent. People usually think pandas; koala bears are so cute and smart. Some animals live in the water, such as dolphins. They need a lot of water for their home. And elephants with long nose are very strange. They can sing and dance. The giraffes are quite tall because of their long necks. So they can reach the top of the trees.

动物

世界上有许多钟动物，人们不知道它们确切的数目。在动物园里人们可以看到很多种类的动物，如：狮子、老虎，它们都令人害怕；猴子和狐狸是狡猾的；人们认为熊猫，考拉熊是如此伶俐和聪明。有些动物居住在水里，如海豚，它们的家需要很多的水。大象长有奇特的长鼻子，它们会唱歌和跳舞。长颈鹿长着非常长的脖子，因为他们可以够到数的顶部。

故事十六（笑话）jokings

The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.

"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"

"Ah, yes," answered the little girl. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"

一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。

“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”

故事十七

"What are you so happy about?"a woman asked the 98-year-old man.

"I broke a mirror," he replied.

"But that means seven years of bad luck."

"I know." he said, beaming,"Isn’t it wonderful?"

这难道不好吗？

“你高兴什么？”一个女士问一个98岁的老人。

“我打碎了一个镜子。”他回答。

“但那预示着7年的坏运气。”

“我知道。”他高兴地说，“这难道不好吗？”

故事十八

Big hands

Teacher: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?

tudent: Big hands.

大手

老师：如果我左手上有7个桔子，右手上有8个桔子。那么我有什么？

学生：大手。

故事十九

Teacher: If I cut a beefsteak in half and then cut the half in half, what do I get? Tommy: Quarters.Teacher: And then if I cut it twice again?Tommy: Hamburger.

老师：如果我把一块牛排切成两半的两半，我能得到几块儿？汤米：四块。老师：那我要是再切两次，我能得到什么呢？汤米：汉堡。

故事二十

A: Which do you find more important, money or friends?B: Friends, of course. A: Why? B: I can always borrow money from friends.

甲：你认为钱和朋友哪一个更重要？乙：当然是朋友。

甲：为什么？乙：我总可以从朋友那儿借到钱。

故事二十一

Customer: Waiter, I've only got one piece of meat in my dish. Waiter:Just a moment, sir and I'll cut it in two.

顾客：服务员，我盘子里怎么只有一块肉？

服务员：先生，请稍候，我去把它切成两块。

故事二十二

Professor: When is your birthday?

Kid: May 30.

Professor: Which year?

Kid: Every year.

教授：你的生日是什么时候？

孩子：5月30日。

教授：哪一年？

孩子：每年都是。