英语演讲稿带翻译笑话

we are the world ,we are the future

someone said “we are reading the first verse of the first chapter of a book, whose pages are infinite”. i don’t know who wrote these words, but i’ve always liked them as a reminder that the future can be anything we want it to be. we are all in the position of the farmers. if we plant a good seed ,we reap a good harvest. if we plant nothing at all, we harvest nothing at all.

we are young. “how to spend the youth?” it is a meaningful question. to answer it, first i have to ask “what do you understand by the word youth?” youth is not a time of life, it’s a state of mind. it’s not a matter of rosy cheeks, red lips or supple knees. it’s the matter of the will. it’s the freshness of the deep spring of life.

a poet said “to see a world in a grain of sand, and a heaven in a wild flower, hold infinity in the palm of your hand, and eternity in an hour. several days ago, i had a chance to listen to a lecture. i learnt a lot there. i’d like to share it with all of you. let’s show our right palms. we can see three lines that show how our love.career and life is. i have a short line of life. what about yours? i wondered whether we could see our future in this way. well, let’s make a fist. where is our future? where is our love, career, and life? tell me.yeah, it is in our hands. it is held in ourselves.

we all want the future to be better than the past. but the future can go better itself. don’t cry because it is over, smile because it happened. from the past, we’ve learnt that the life is tough, but we are tougher. we’ve learnt that

we can’t choose how we feel, but we can choose what about it. failure doesn’t mean you don’t have it, it does mean you should do it in a different way. failure doesn’t mean you should give up, it does mean you must try harder. as what i said at the beginning, “we are reading the first verse of the first chapter of a book, whose pages are infinite”. the past has gone. nothing we do will change it. but the future is in front of us. believe that what we give to the world, the world will give to us. and from today on, let’s be the owners of ourselves, and speak out “we are the world, we are the future.”

世界是我们的，未来是我们的

一些人说“我们正在读一本无穷的书中的第一章的第一节。”我不知道谁写了这些话，但是我一直很喜欢它，因为它提醒了我，我们能够创造我们想要的未来。我们都是农夫。如果我们播下好的种子，我们将会丰收。如果我们的种子很差，有很多草籽，收割的将是无用的庄稼。如果我们什么也不播种，什么收获也没有。

我们是年轻的。“怎样度过青春？”这是个有意义的问题。为了去回答它，我首先要问“从?青春?这个词中你能理解到什么？”青春不是人生的一个时期，而是精神的一种状态。青春不是桃面、丹唇、柔膝，而是深沉的意志，。青春是生命的深泉在涌流.

一位诗人说“从一粒沙看世界，从一朵花看天堂，把无限放在你的手掌，永恒在一刹那里收藏”。几天前，我有了一个听讲座的机会，从中我学到了很多东西。现在，我想把这些与大家共享。让我们伸出右手，我们可以看到手掌中的展示我们的爱，事业和生活的三条线。我在生活方面这条线很短，那你们的呢？我想知道我们是否可以用这种办法去看我们的未来。好的，让我们一起握拳。我们的未

来在哪儿？我们的爱、事业和生活在哪儿？告诉我！是的，它们就在我们的手中。它们

被我们自己掌握着。

我们所有人都希望未来能比过去更美好，但是未来能自己变得更好。不要因为结束而哭泣，微笑吧，为你的曾经拥有。从过去来看，生活是艰苦的，但我们是更坚强。我们知道我们不能选择感觉，但是我们能选择和它相关的东西。失败并不意味着你不拥有成功，它只意味着你应该用另一种方式去做这件事。失败并不意味着你应该放弃，只意味着你应该更加努力。

正如我在前面所说的“我们正在读一本无穷的书中的第一章的第一节。”过去的已经过去，无论我们无力改变，但是未来却在我们前方。相信“我们给了世界什么，世界也将给我们”。并且从今天起，让我们一起做我们自己的主人，一起大声说出“世界是我们的，未来是我们的。”篇二：中英文幽默演讲

幽默演讲——调侃自己（中英对照）

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演讲者如何调侃自己

创新句子：你们或者睡觉，或者不睡，只要不打呼噜，我就接着讲。

幽默注释：演讲者讲得太糟糕了，组织者哭得很伤心。

演讲结束时，宴会主人感谢你从繁忙的日程中抽出时间来——你泰然自若，优雅地点头微笑着，心里非常清楚你日历上唯一的事情就是就早餐后喝点咖啡。

poise is when you finish your speech and the toastmaster thanks you for taking time out of your busy schedule to be a part of their program --- and you nod and smile graciously knowing full well that the only thing on your calendar is a little coffee from breakfast.

幽默注释：一些老干部退休后没什么事干，有人请他参加一些活动，他还假装很忙，好象推开了很多事才赶去似的。

过去我演讲时常常会比较紧张，但那时我看到一条信息说如果你想象所有的观众都是裸体会有所帮助。此时此刻，我站在这里想象着观众都是裸体，真的起作用，我不再紧张了，但眼睛有些疲劳。

i used to get nervous when giving a speech but then i read that it helps to think of the entire audience as being naked. and so, at this very moment, i’m

standing up here imagining every one in this audience as being naked. and it really works. i no suffer from nervousness. eyestrain. yes.

幽默注释：把观众想象成裸体，意思是我不怕你们，就不紧张了。

创新句子：大部分人站在讲台上都会有点儿紧张，我属于少部分人，我非常紧张。

我本人不自负——我简直不能告诉你们我是多么钦佩我这一点。 personally, i have never been conceited --- and i can’t tell you how much i admire myself for that.

幽默句子：他因为自己不自负，所以变得非常骄傲。

创新句子：我一点儿都不自负，我希望别人也这么看我。

我先用简单明了的英语演讲，以后我再翻译给律师听。

let me put this into plain english. i’ll translate it for the lawyers later. 幽默注释：律师总喜欢用复杂的语言，简单的话都听不懂了。

创新句子：我的讲话有三个版本，小学生版本，中学生版本，大学生版本，你是听小学一年纪版的，还是小学二年纪版的？

如果你听过这个故事，请不要打断我，我就知道这一个故事。

if you’ve already heard this story, please don’t stop me because it’s the only one i know.

幽默注释：就是你知道两个故事，讲故事前也可以这么说。

创新句子：我讲个笑话，如果你们听过，也希望装做没听过，我也这样照顾你们。

演讲就象给草坪浇水，如果有四分之一的水渗下去你就满意了。

making a speech is like watering a lawn. you’re satisfied if just a quarter of it sinks in.

幽默注释：有人打呼噜，有人说话，都是正常的，有四分之一观众听就不错了。

幽默句子：即兴演讲的开场白。

创新句子：我不知道你们会不会喜欢我的演讲，我不知道我要讲点儿什么。

开始前我想告诉你们下面的演讲已经编辑成了电视节目，我现在少讲20分钟，我们能够及时赶回家看2台的节目。

before i begin, i want you to know that the following speech has been edited for television. i cut 20 minutes out of it so we could all get home in time for the game on channel 2.

幽默注释：放着现场不看，偏要回家在电视上看。

可能你们有些人知道我今晚出现在这里有两个原因：第一个原因是你们的计划委员会一直在设法寻找一个聪明、有趣、老练的演讲者，——他们找到了。第二个原因是那个人病了，所以就打电话把我找来了。

幽默注释：一开始好象在说自己很牛，其实就是个临时替场。

创新句子：我认为我演讲很风趣，可为什么没人笑呢？

有人有舞台恐惧症，我没有；舞台不会怎么样我，是观众快把我吓死了！ some people suffer from stage fright. i don’t. the stage doesn’t bother me at all. it’s the audience that scares the hell out of me!

幽默注释：stage fright舞台恐惧症，而不是舞台吓唬我。

我们每个人都希望能在某一时刻把时钟拨回去。如果我能够把时钟拨回去 at one time or another, i think each of us has wished we could turn back the clock. i know if i could turn back the clock just 45 minutes, i’d be the happiest person in this room. because that’s when i left my speech on the kitchen table. 幽默注释：自己上台前还在刻苦练习，演讲稿落家里了，讲错了希望观众包涵。

我不想吹牛，但上次我演讲时所有的观众都站了起来，他们再也没有坐下，直到走到他们的汽车那儿。

i don’t want to brag, but the last time i did this it brought the audience to its feet. and they never sat down again until they reached their cars.

幽默注释：观众听他演讲，都站起来走了，他还在吹牛呢。

创新句子：我演讲时用一种平缓的语速娓娓道来，观众睡得很香甜。

如果我有点儿犹豫，你们一定要原谅我，这是我第一次饭后演讲——在卖当劳里冲我的小孩儿喊叫除外。

if i’m a little hesitant, you’ll have to excuse me. this is the first after-dinner speech i’ve ever made ---except for yelling at my kids in mcdonald’s. 幽默注释：自嘲自己演讲没什么经验。

创新句子：你可能知道我已经养成了饭后演讲的习惯。

我不习惯面对这么多观众演讲，让我鼓起勇气的一件事情就是我在谈论我最喜欢的题目——我。

i’m not used to speaking to such a large audience. the one thing that gives me courage is that i’m speaking on my favorite subject --- me.

幽默注释：电视上老是邀请一些名人在那儿大谈自己，这些人开场可以这么说。