Friends老友记第一季第17集 - The Two Parts - 2
经典美剧《老友记》-第一季-第十四集-字幕-对白-纯英文-看美剧学英语
Telling you, Ross, she wants you.She barely knows me. We just live in the same building. - Any contact? - She lent me an egg.- You're in! - Right.- Hey, Ross. - Hey!Come on. Ross, you got get back in the game.The Rachel thing isn't happening,your ex-wife's a lesbian....I don't think we need a third.Excuse me. Could we get an egg, still in the shell?An egg?Yeah. You gonna go up to her and say,"Here's your egg back, I'm returning your egg."I think it's winning.- It's insane. - She'll love it.-Thank you. -Thank you. Here.Go with the egg, my friend.Go, go, go!- Think it'll work? - No way. It's suicide.The man's got an egg.- You can't do this. - Do what?Roger wants to take her out tomorrow night.No! Pheebs, don't you remember why you dumped him? Because he was creepy.And mean. And a little frightening.Still, it's nice to have a date on Valentine's Day!But Phoebe, you can go out with a creepy guyany night of the year.I know I do.What are you guys doing tomorrow night?Actually tomorrow night kind of depends on how tonight goes. - About tonight - Don't ger your bail on me!The only reason she's goin' out with meis because I said I could bring a friend for her friend.Yes I know, but her friend sounds like such a...Pathetic mess. I know, but....Come on, man. She's needy, vulnerable.I'm thinking....Thanks.You haven't been out with a woman since Janice.You're doing this.- She said yes. - Way to go, man!- Still got the egg,huh? - Yeah.How do I look?I don't care.There's Lorraine.Remember. No trading.You get the pretty one, I get the mess.Hi, Joey.Well, well! Look what you brought!Very nice.And what did you bring?She's checking her coat.Joey, I'm gonna wash the cab smell off of my hands.Get me a white zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice.Janice?Janice!?Oh......my......God!Hey, it's Janice!Okay, I'm making a break for it! I'm going out through the window. No, no, no, I've been waiting for, like,forever to go out with Lorraine.- Just calm down. - Calm down?You set me up with a womanI've dumped twice in the last five months!Can you stop yelling? You're making me nervous and....I can't go when I'm nervous.I'm sorry, you're right.Come on! Do it, do it!Roger was creepy,but he was nothing compared to Pete Carney.- Which one is Pete Carney? - Pete the Weeper.Remeber the guy that used to cry every time we had sex?"Was it good for you?"I'd take crying any day over Howard, the "I win" guy!"I win! I win!"We went out for two months. I didn't win once.How do we end up with these jerks?- We are good people! - I don't know.We're some kind of magnets.I know I am. That's why I can't wear a digital watch.There's more beer, right?You know my friend who shaves her head?She says to break the bad boyfriend cycle......you can do a cleansing ritual.Pheebs, this woman is voluntarily bald.Yeah.We can do it tomorrow night.It's Valentine's Day. It's perfect.Okay, what kind of ritual?We can burn the stuff they gave us.Or...?Or we can chant and dance around naked with sticks.Burning's good.You know...... ever since I was little, I can pick up quarters with my toes.Yeah? Good for you.Quarters or rolls of quarters?By the way, Chandler, I cut you out of all of my pictures.So if you want, I have a bag with just your heads.That's okay.Are you sure, really? Because you could make little puppets out of them.And you could use them in your Theater of Cruelty! We can't do that!What? What can't you do?Can I talk to you for a second? Over there?We might be leaving now.Tell me it's you and me "we."She wants to slather my body with stuff and lick it off. I'm not even sure what slathering is!But I definitely want to be a part of it!Okay, you cannot do this to me.You're right. I'm sorry.Can we have three chocolate mousses to go, please? I'm out of here.Here's my credit card. Dinner's on me.I'm sorry, Chandler.I hope she throws up on you.Thanks.- So.... - Just us.What a crappy night!I have enjoyed the fact......that your shirt's been sticking out of your zipper. Excuse me.How you doing?So do we have the best friends, or what?Joey's not a friend. He's......a stupid man who left us his credit card.Another drink? Dessert? A big-screen TV?- I'll have a drink. - Got it. Good woman!- Could we get a bottle of your most overpriced champagne? -Each. That's right, each. And a rob roy.I've always wanted to know.Happy Valentine's Day!Oh, I miss you already.- Can you believe this happened? - No, no!And yet it did.- Goodbye, Janice. - Kiss me!Oh, Chandler. Sorry.Oh, Chandler. Sorry!- Hey, Janice. -Hi, Monica.Well, this was very special.Rach, come see who's out here!What's going on? Oh, my God!Janice! Hi!Janice is gonna go away now!I'll be right back.Joey! Look who it is!Good. Joey's home.This is so much fun!This is like a reunion in the hall!Ross, there's someone I want you to say hi to.He happened to call.Hi, Ross. That's right,it's me! How did you know?I'm just saying if dogs do its experience jet lag...... because of the seven dog years to one human year thing... ...when a dog flies from New York to Los Angeles...... he doesn't just lose three hours,he loses a week and a half. That's funny!Who are they?The blond is my ex-wife.And the woman touching her is her......close, personal friend.You mean they're lovers?If you want to put a label on it.- Anything else I should know? - Nope. That's it.Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby.I always forget that part.Now we need sage branches and the sacramental wine.All I had is oregano and a Fresca.That's okay!Now we need the semen of a righteous man.Ok, Pheebs, you know what?If we had that, we wouldn't be doing the ritual in the first place. - Can we start throwing things in? - Yeah, okay!Okay. Barry's letters.Adam Ritter's boxer shorts.And I have the receipt from my dinner with....- A picture of Scotty Jared naked! - Let me see!- He's wearing a sweater. - No.Okay, and here we have the last of Paolo's grappa.Wait, isn't it almost pureHow can I dump this woman on Valentine's Day?I don't know. You dumped her on New Year's.In my next life, I'm coming back as a toilet brush.Hello, funny valentine!Hi, just Janice.Hello, Joey, our little matchmaker.I could just kiss you all over, and I'm gonna.If you don't do it, I will.So are you, what do you for a leaving?Well, you know, with..Oh no. I thought you said they could shoot the spot without you.I thought they could.- It's Valentine's Day. - I know, but it's my job.I'll try to get back as soon as I can. I'm sorry.I'm spending most of my time teaching science......which is funny because, that wasn't even my major.Now, that is funny!Do you think it would be too weirdif I invited Carol over to join us?Because she's alone now. And pregnant. And sad.- I guess. - Are you sure? Carol!- Wanna join us? - No, I'm fine.Come on. These people will scooch down.You guys will scooch, won't you?Let's try scooching! Come on!- Come on. - Thank you.IKristen Riggs, this is Carol Willick.Carol, Kristen.- How do you do? - Carol teaches sixth grade.And Kristen....Kristen does something......that, funnily enough......wasn't even her major!What do we got there?A piece of sik boxer shorts.Some greeting cards.A half-charred picture of....That guy's hairier than the chief!It's a really funny story how this happened.It's all right. It's all right. You don't have to explain.This isn't the first boyfriend bonfire we've seen get out of control. - You are the third one tonight. - Really?Valentine's is our busiest night of the year.- I brought you something. - Is it loaded?Oh, little candy hearts."Chan and Jan Forever."I had them made special.Okay, Janice.Hey, Janice.There's no way to tell you this.At least, there's no new way.I just don't think things are gonna work out.That's fine.It is?Because I know that this isn't the end.You see, actually, it is.No, it isn't, because you won't let that happen.Don't you know it yet?You love me, Chandler Bing!Oh, no, I don't.Then ask yourself this. Why do we keep ending up together? New Year's, who invited who?Valentine's, who asked who into bed?- I did, but - You seek me out!Something deep in your soul calls out to me like a foghorn! Janice! Janice!You want me. You need me.You can't live without me. And you know it.You just don't know you know it.See?Call me!It's not true. I never called your mother a wolverine.You did so, I swear toHow long has she been in the bathroom?She isn't in the bathroom. Her coat's gone.Well, maybe it's cold in there.Maybe I screwed up my first date in nine years.- That could be it. - Oh, God.You know, this is still pretty hot.Mushroom.Smile.They won't all be like this.Some might stay through dinner.- I'm sorry. That's not funny. - It's just....You know the whole "get on with your life" thing? Well, do I have to?I'm sitting here with this cute woman......and she's perfectly nice, but that......that's it.Then I'm here talking to you, and it's easy and it's fun. And I don't have to....- I know. - You know?Here's a wacky thought.Let's say you and I give it another shot.I know what you're gonna say. You're a lesbian.But what do you say we just put that aside for now. Let's just stick a pin in it.Because we're great together. You can't deny it. Besides, you're carrying my baby.- I mean, how perfect is that? - RossYou keep saying that,but there's something right here. I love you.I love you too.- But - No "but."You know that thing we put over here with the pin in it? It's time to take the pin out.You'll find someone.The right woman is waiting for you.It's easy for you to say. You found one already.All you need is a woman who likes men, and you'll be set. Not her.We get off at midnight. We'll pick you up then.Okay. Great!So will you bring the truck?I'll even let you ring the bell.- We'll see you later. - Bye! See you later!Oh, my God!See? There you go. The cleansing worked.You're right. They're nice guys!They're firemen guys!You guys tell them you're married?No way. You kidding. My girlfriend doesn't even know. I'm not gonna tell them!第一季第十四集So no one told you life was gonna be this wayyour jobs a joke, you're broke,your love life's D.O.A.It's like you're always stuck in second gear,And it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year, butI'll be there for you,when the rain starts to pour.I'll be there for you,like I've been there before.I'll be there for you,'cause you're there for me too.'cause you're there for me too.'cause you're there for me too.'cause you're there for me too.'cause you're there for me too.。
【英语学习资料】老友记字幕Word版第一季第二十二集
-告诉他 - 就告诉他嘛-Tell him. - Just tell him.-闭口 - 告诉我什么-Shut up. - Tell me what你看你连正眼看他都不敢Look at you, you won't even look at him.就告诉我吧Oh, come on tell me.下回有女人不愿看我我也好有新原因I could use another reason why women won't look at me. 好吧好吧昨晚我梦见All right. All right. Last night, I had a dream that uh...我和你...that you and I were在这桌上做爱doing it on this table.梦里干的不错嘛Excellent dream score.你怎会有这类梦Why would you dream that最重要的是More importantly...我棒吗...was I any good几乎是棒极了Well, you were pretty damn good.真存心思在我梦中我特别力所不及Interesting. Cause in my dreams, I'm surprisingly inadequate. 昨晚你在这桌上的表现十全十美Last night, you seemed to know your way around the table. 真快乐能与你们分享I love it when we share.你没事吧You okay there我不敢相信你会在她梦中做爱I can't believe you two had sex in her dream.对不起仅仅一次I'm sorry, it was a one-time thing.我醉得昏迷不醒并且这不是我的潜意识I was very drunk, and it was someone else's subconscious. 你好呀瑞秋Hello, Rachel.下去Get off.给我你们能想像我操作钻床的样子吗Ooh, give me. Can you see me operating a drill press不知道你当时穿什么I don't know. What are you wearing菲比你为何想操作钻床Phoebe, why would you want to operate a drill press不过临时的工作Just for some short-term-work.直到我找回一部分前按摩客户You know, until I get back some of my massage clients.又是海盗吗Pirates again不根本不贴边No. Nothing like that.我真是个大笨蛋I'm just such a dummy.我教他们 " 自己在家着手做按摩 "I taught a "Massage Yourself at Home" workshop. 结果他们就不来了And they are.嗨钱德勒她能够为你工作Hey, Chan, she could work for you.谢了乔伊这是个好想法Thanks, Joey. That's a good idea.我能够我来吧什么工作I could. I could do it. What is it我秘书这几周没法来上班My secretary's gonna be out for a couple of weeks.她去给一侧乳房动消乳手术She's having one of her boobs reduced.一言难尽的波霸故事It's a whole big boob story.我能够当个秘书I could be a secretary.菲比我不知你是不是这块料Phoebes, I don't know if it's your kinda thing...由于这份工作需要你大多数时间... because it involves a lot being normal尽可能保持正常for a large portion of the day.我能办到I could do that.-你玩什么呢 - 我的新传呼机-What are you playing with -It's my new beeper.古生物学家要那玩艺儿干嘛What the hell does a paleontologist need a beeper for以防恐龙紧迫事件救命啊快来Is it like for dinosaur emergencies Help. come quick,他们仍是绝种了They're still extinct.不是为卡罗尔生产买的No. It's for when Carol goes into labor.好让她随时联系到我She can get me wherever I am.她只要拨号 55- 金宝All she has to do is dial 55-Jimbo.{\an3\fs16\bord0\fn微软雅黑 \fad(0,0)\b0\pos(374,247)}Jimbo在美国俚语中指 " 不请自来的人 "这号码真酷还可以当孩子的名字A cool number and a possible name for the kid.-各位回头见了 - 去见小伊森吗-All right, I'll see you guys later. - Off to see young Ethan感谢Thank you.伊森究竟有多小很小吗How young is young Ethan Young年龄和我们差不多He's our age.当我们仍是When we were...-他是大学四年级学生 - 大学-He's a senior in college. - College这位小朋友不在意你的年龄吗This man-child has no problem with how old you are 自然不在意这根本不是问题No, of course not. It's not even an issue...由于我告诉他我22 岁...because I told him I was 22.-你什么 - 什么-You what - What- 我不像 22 岁吗 -25 26还说得过去- Oh, I can't pass for 22 - Well, maybe 25, 26.-我原来就 26 - 那就对啦-I am 26. - There you go.-听见没 - 听见了-Can you hear that - Yeah.知道不拿起电话就不会响了You see, that'll stop when you pick up the phone. -我来了 - 好的-Oh, I'm on. - Okay.宾先生办公室Mr. Bing's office.对不起他正在开会 .No, I'm Sorry, he's in a meeting right now.我没在开会我在 ...I'm not in a meeting. I'm right... Whoops.他知道这件事吗Will he know what this is in reference to他有你的号码吗And he has your number好我会转告他的再会I'll see that he gets the message. Bye-bye. 罗斯打来问候的Ross says hi.真好玩好了我们此刻做什么This is so fun. All right. What do we do now 此刻我得开始工作了Well, now I actually have to get to work. "可能吧""Most likely."好了我出去了Okay, I'm gonna be out there.好的再会All right. Bye-bye.再会Bye-bye.-什么事 - 你在干嘛- Yes - What you doing窗户擦好了蜡烛点上了Okay, windows are clean. Candles are lit.皮带太紧我得去换一条Belt's too tight. Gotta change the belt.鱼翻过没没由于我做的意大利面Did I turn the fish Nope, because I made lasagna.-我有没有失控 - 有一点点-Am I out of control - Just a touch.莫妮卡我不理解Mon, I don't understand.你跟这个男生从他期中考试后I mean, you've been dating this guy since like, what... 谈到此刻... his midterms.为何忽然Why, all of a sudden, are you so...-我怎么了 - 今夜会是销魂一夜吗-What - Could tonight be the night我不知道他是个好男孩I don't know. He's a great guy...我喜爱和他在一同但是很难说...and I love being with him. But, you know...只好自然而然没法早先计划好...things happen when they happen. You don't plan these things. -腿毛刮了没 - 刮了-So, did you shave your legs - Yeah.罗斯别纠结了这不过一场梦Would you let it go, Ross It was just a dream.不代表 ...It doesn't mean时候到了宝宝要出生了This is it. Oh my God! It's baby time! Baby time!放轻松沉着点别紧张All right, relax. Just relax. Be cool.对刚有人呼我Yeah, hi. I was just beeped.不安卓不在这今日呼错三次了No, Andre is not here. Third time today.对我确立Yes, I am sure.不先生我不供给那些服务No, sir, I do not perform those kind of services.服务Services懂了服务嘛Oh, services.对你要呼的是 55- 劲爆Yeah, you want 55-Jumbo.{\an3\fs16\bord0\fn微软雅黑 \fad(0,0)\b0\pos(374,247)}jumbo是庞然大物的意思没错That's right.没错是劲爆不是金宝先生That's right. JUMBO with a "U," sir.不相信我你不会想要我的No, belive me, You don't want me.从他的号码看来你看到我会大失人望Judging by his number, I'd be a huge disappointment. 好吧再会了Alrighty, bye-bye.第一天上班怎样How was the first day太棒了每一个人都特别特别好Excellent. Everyone was so, so nice.瞧认识我这类职位的人多沾光It pays to know the man who wears my shoes.说的是我Me.不我没告诉任何人我认识你No. I didn't tell anyone I knew you.-为何 - 由于你懂的-Why not - Well, because, you know.他们其实不喜爱你They don't like you.-什么 - 我认为你早知道-What - I thought you knew that.-谁不喜爱我 - 每一个人-No, who doesn't like me - Everyone.除了Except for....不每一个人No. Everyone.-你在说什么啊 - 别悲伤-What are you talking about - Don't feel bad.他们过去都很喜爱你They used to like you a lot.自从你升职后But then you got promoted, and, you know,他们感觉你是上级大人物now you're like Mr. Boss Man. you know, Mr. Big.宾先生宾大老板Mr. Bing. Boss Man Bing.-真不敢相信 - 他们甚至还模拟你-I can't believe it. - Yeah. They even do you. 模拟我They "do" me对比方这样You know, like, okay:报告要 " 何时 " 才能交来"Could that report be any later"-我没有那样说话 - 你有的-I don't sound like that. - Yeah, you do.这山谷回荡着美好的"The hills are alive with the sound..."音乐"声...of music."我的烤饼" 我" 的烤饼"My scone. My scone."我没那样说话这绝" 不" 是真的I don't sound like that. That is so not true."不" 是这样 " 不" 是这样That is so not... That is so not...这闭口吧That Oh, shut up.-不会吧 - 告诉你我到九岁时-Did not. - I'm telling you, up until I was 9...还认为 " 枪口 " 就是真切存在的犯法现场... I thought "gunpoint" was an actual place where crimes happened. -怎么会 - 新闻总是报道犯法事件-How's that possible - Well, think about it. It's always on the news. 某人在 "枪口"下"A man is being held up at Gunpoint."慌张的参观客在 " 枪口 " 下"Tourists are terrorized at Gunpoint."我向来在想怎么还有人去那边And I kept thinking, "Why do people continue to go there"-我该走了 - 好-I should go. - Ok.-除非-什么-Unless. - What除非你要在这儿过夜Unless you wanna stay over.我反正要在这过夜不如I mean, I'm going to. So....是啊这样再好可是Yeah, I'd really like that.在我们考虑过夜的事宜以前Before we get into any staying-over stuff...我有些事情一定告诉你...there's something you should know.是 " 我明日一早有课 " 之类的Ok. Is this, like, "I have an early class tomorrow"... 仍是 " 我与山羊奥密成婚了 "...or "I'm secretly married to a goat"在这二者之间Well, it's somewhere in between.就严格技术层面而言自然我还没You see, in a strictly technical sense, of course, I'm not.... 我是说我还没有Well, I mean, I haven't ever....-伊森-在-Ethan - Yeah.你是处男吗Are you a virgin假如你们这些孩子此刻这样称号的话If that's what you kids are calling it these days, then...对我是个处男...yes, I am.我大体向来在等候合适的人I've kind of been waiting for the right person.-真的吗 - 真的-Really - Yeah.你知道我是在指你吧You do know I was talking about you, right你向来喔个不断You keep saying that.你懂的你在杂志上看过在电影里看过You know, you read about it. You see it in the movies. 甚至在家里练习过但是天啊Even when you practice it at home, man, oh, man... 这感觉实在没得比...it is nothing like that.听着听着Listen, listen.你对我坦率了一件难以开口的事You told me something that was really difficult for you. 我想假如你能坦诚相对那我也能And I figure if you can be honest, then I can too.天啊别告诉我方才做错了Oh, God. Don't tell me I did it wrong.不那件事你做得特别完满No, no, no. Nothing wrong about that.好我说了Ok, Here goes.我不是 22 岁I'm not 22.我是 25岁I'm 25...零13个月...and 13 months.但是我想我们的关系不会所以变掉But I figure, you know, that shouldn't change anything. 年龄根本就不是距离对吧I mean, what the hell does it matter how old we are听着Listen...在你坦承之际...as long as we're telling stuff...我也有话要说... I have another one for you.我比你所知的年龄还小I'm a little younger than I said.-你不是四年级生吗 - 我是四年级-You're not a senior - Oh, I'm a senior...高中四年级...in high school.我们不该当这样What we did was wrong.天啊我刚和一个God, I just had sex with不到二十岁的小屁孩做爱了someone who wasn't alive during the bicentennial.{\an3\fs16\bord0\fn微软雅黑 \fad(0,0)\b0\pos(374,247)}bicentennial指美国独立二百周年我刚做爱了I just had sex.伊森注意听你为何不早告诉我Ethan, focus. How could you not tell me-你也没告诉我你真切年龄 - 那不同样-You never tell me how old you are. - It's different.我撒的谎不会让我们在48 个州获重罪My lie didn't make one of us a felon in 48 states.{\an3\fs16\bord0\fn微软雅黑 \fad(0,0)\b0\pos(374,247)}美国法律规定与未成年人发生关系要判重罪-你究竟在想什么 - 我什么都没想-What were you thinking - I wasn't thinking.-我不过忙于 - 不要说-I was too busy falling... - Don't say it.爱上你...in love with you.-真的吗 - 对不起-Really - Sorry.好吧别再爱我了Well, fall out of it.你都不该在这你该在学校过夜的You shouldn't be here. It's a school night.天啊Oh, God.我就像是那种I'm like those women that you see...特意勾引小帅哥的女人...with shiny guys named Chad.我成了琼·柯琳斯I'm Joan Collins.{\an3\fs16\bord0\fn微软雅黑 \fad(0,0)\b0\pos(374,247)}作风随意的英国性感女星谁Who好安卓 45 分钟后就会到Ok. Andre should be there in about 45 minutes.就这样再会Alrighty. Bye-bye.这样省事多了It's just easier that way.说吧你昨晚的梦都告诉我了Come on. You told me about the last dream.不忘了吧No. Forget it.为何莫非是梦中的我对你过于鲁莽Why not Was I doing something particularly saucy 好吧我说All right. Fine.梦中不不过你在场You were not the only one there.乔伊也在场Joey was there too.好的All right.那Was there...还有其余人吗...anybody else there-没有 - 你确立没有人 ...-No. - You sure Nobody...发发薄荷糖啥的... handing out mints or anything没有只有我们三个No, it was just the three of us.谈谈看是你跟钱德勒做完So, tell me. Was it like you and Chandler,而后跟我做仍是我们三个同时...and then you and me, or you, me and Chandler -你知道吗 - 什么-You know what - What有几次There were times...我都没有参加...when it wasn't even me.真甜蜜伙计们That is so sweet, you guys.莫妮卡伊森又来电话了Mon, Ethan called again.-莫妮卡 - 莫妮卡-Mon - Mon ！-干嘛 - 伊森又来电话了-What - Ethan called again.-你不再会他了吗 - 对-You're not seeing him anymore - No.有时有些问题没法解决Sometimes, things don't work out.这跟他需要假条才能翘掉体育课没关吗This has nothing to do with him needing a note to get out of gym 我没说什么都没说我立誓I, I didn't say any... I sw... I did not say anything. I swear.-他听到的 - 听着下回见到他时-He stopped by. - Listen, next time you talk to him...能问问《恐龙战队》中最强的是谁吗...could you ask him which one the strongest Power Ranger is{\an3\fs16\bord0\fn微软雅黑 \fad(0,0)\b0\pos(374,247)}据日本同种类题材改编的美版恐龙战队我的生活真是太出色了换个话题行吗Oh, my life is just so amusing. Can we drop it now对不起Sorry.{\an3\fs16\bord0\fn微软雅黑 \fad(0,0)\b0\pos(374,247)}恐龙战队台词墨菲时间到了"It's morphin'time."-暴龙-剑龙-Stegosaurus. - Tyrannosaurus.我得走了I gotta go.天脑充血Head rush.再一次我真得走了One more, and then I have to go.酷Cool.你要上哪儿去Where you going我要和几个同事去参加诞辰会I got a birthday party with some work people. 同事吗没人跟我说Work people Nobody told me.我知道这都是由于No, I know. That's part of the whole...他们不喜爱你所造成的...you know, them-not-liking-you extravaganza. 你来谈谈我真不理解You know what, I don't get this.一个月前他们都是我朋友A month ago, these people were my friends. 我当上了主管其实不代表我会变为另一个人You know, just I'm in charge doesn't mean I'm a different person. 那你今夜该来Well, then you should come tonight.和他们多相处You know, just hang out with them.让他们知道你仍是个大好人Let them see what a great guy you still are.-你认为我该去 - 诚心的你该去-You think I should - I really do. Yeah.-那好-走吧-Ok. - Ok.我们能不一同去吗But could we not go together我不想成为邀请上级的怪人I don't wanna be the geek who invited the boss.昨晚真是太棒了I think last night was great.我和崔西合唱了首《乌木与象牙》You know, the Karaoke thing. Tracy and I doing Ebony and Ivory. 你表现得很好You were great.但大家仍旧讥笑你But they still made fun of you.-什么 - 你此刻成了 " 假惺惺 " 老板-What - You know, now you're more like, Mr. Caring Boss. "套近乎"老板Mr. I'm-one-of-you Boss."称兄道弟 " 宾大老板Mr. I-wanna-be-your-buddy Boss Man Bing.我真是想不通Then I don't get it.你知道吗钱德勒你得面对现实You know what Chandler I think you just gotta face it.你坐在这间大办公室里You're like the guy in the big office.有权录取他们也有权开除他们You're the one that hires and fires them.-他们说你仍是个好上级 - 是吗-They still say you're a great boss. - They do但是他们不再是你的朋友Uh uh. But they're not your friends anymore.-我不过想 - 但你不可以-I just want - But you can't.但我不过想But I just want你不是要去 ...Aren't you gonna卡罗尔和我定了新暗号Carol and I have a new system.假如她打 911If she punches in 9-1-1...就代表她将生产不然我就根本不理睬it means she's having a baby. Otherwise, I just ignore it. 那安卓呢What about Andre清晨他接到个电话Oh, well this morning he got a call from我感觉是堂弟纳森打来的who I think was our cousin Nathan,老实说我知道太多内情了and frankly, it was a little more than I needed to know.-嗨 - 我本打算这么说的-Hi. - That was gonna be my opener.你们看过卫生间里的新烘手机没Hey, did you guys check out those new hand dryers in the bathroom -我认为那不过谣传 - 确切不移-I thought that was just a rumor. - True story.行了我得和你谈谈All right. Look, I gotta tell you something.我不是 17 岁I'm not 17.我这样说是为了让你感觉我可爱引人怜I only said that so you'd think I was cute and vulnerable. 其实我今年 30I'm actually 30.娶了妻子有正经工作是个国会议员I have a wife and a job. I'm your congressman.莫妮卡这太荒唐了我们多般配Monica, this is ridiculous. We're great together.我们聊天谈笑做爱也很协调We can talk, we make each other laugh, and the sex.... 我固然经验不多但全部是那么完满I have no frame of reference, but I thought that was great. -确实是 - 那问题在哪儿-It was. - Then what's the problem伊森这太Ethan, it's....倒人胃口It's icky." 倒人胃口 ""Icky"就由于 " 倒人胃口 " 你就想放弃吗You're actually gonna throw this away because it's "icky" 我也很悲伤我多希望状况不是这样This isn't easy for me either. I wish things were different. 假如你年长几岁或许我年青几岁If you were a few years older or I was a few years younger... 或是我们生活在圣经时代...or we lived in biblical times...- 我就能够 ... -不不要说- ...I could really - No, don't say it.爱你Love you.-你的手还没干是吧 - 仍是湿的-Are your hands still wet - Moist.那我们再去烘一次Let's dry them again.或许是这些鸡尾酒 " 能" 再烈一点吗Or like, "Could these margaritas be any stronger" 你好钱德勒Hey, Chandler.你好宾先生Hello, Mr. Bing.你昨晚唱的史提夫·汪达那首歌真好听Loved your Stevie Wonder last night.感谢听着相关周数据的事Thanks. Listen, about the weekly numbers,九点 " 之" 前请送到我办公室来I'm gonna need them on my desk by 9:00.-好的 - 没问题-Sure. - No problem.总得给他们些话题嘛You have to give them something.刚才是格斯顿山托斯That was Gerston, Santos,留胡须的那个叫什么and who's the guy with the moustache-派崔-派崔对-Petrie. - Petrie. Right, okay.看来这周末得有人Well, some people are gonna be working... "加" 班了...this weekend.真好Oh, that's nice.罗斯Ross.罗斯Ross.我在这里I'm here.你在吗You are我们刚在We were just....什么What-这下可好我有宝宝了 - 什么-Great. Now I'm having a baby. - What我要有宝宝了我要有一个I'm having a baby. I'm having a-电话电话在哪 - 不在我这-The phone, the phone. - I don't have the phone. -罗斯 - 我受伤了-Ross - I'm hurt.莫妮卡快走各位快点她要生了Mon, Let's go. Come on, people. Woman in labor. 罗斯看我这样子Ross, Look what I've got going here.坐车时再闹吧行不Save it for the cab. Ok你在干什么我们要去医院What are you doing We're going to a hospital.我不可以妆扮美丽吗说不定有帅医生What, so I can't look nice There might be doctors there. -乔伊别翻冰箱了 - 好吧-Joey, get out of the fridge. - All right.-那是干嘛的 - 路上吃的-What is that - For the ride.-比方坐车的时候 - 忍着-Like in a cab - Save it.-真厌烦 - 莫妮卡快该走了-Hating this. - Monica, come on. Let's go.宝宝就要出生了Baby coming.我真不敢相信我要当姑姑了I can't believe I'm gonna be an aunt.-我要有侄子了 - 真动人走吧-I'll have like a nephew. - That's nice. Get out.行啦我在走我在走All right, I'm going. I'm going. 走吧连忙Here we go. Come on.。
经典美剧《老友记》-第一季-第十六集-字幕-对白-中英文对照-看美剧学英语
Unbelievable! It's been half an hour. 真是难以置信已过了半个小时If this was a cartoon, 如果这是卡通片you'd look like a ham right about now. 我看你都该跟火腿一个样了- There's the waitress. Hello, miss! - It's Phoebe! -侍者在那嗨小姐 -是菲比Okay, will that be all? 你们就点这些吗Wait. What are you doing here? 等等你来这儿干什么I was over there. Then you said, "Hello,miss." 我本来在那然后你叫 "嗨小姐"So I'm here. 所以我就过来了No, how come you're working here? 不你怎么会在这儿工作Because it's close to where I live, 因为这离我的住处很近and the aprons are cute. 而且围裙也很漂亮- Can we start over? - Okay, I'm gonna be over here. -可以重来吗 -好的我到那边去I don't know whether he's testing me...or just acting out,我叫不准他是在考验我还只是有样学样... but my monkey is out of control! 但我的猴子已经失控了He keeps erasing the messages on my machine. 他不断清除我答录机上的留言Supposedly by accident. 应该是个意外Oh, yeah, I've done that. 是啊我做过这种事And then, like three days in a row he got to the newspaper before I did,然后他连续三天赶在我看报纸前...and peed all over the crossword! 在猜字游戏上尿尿I've never done that. 这我没做过All right, now look at her and tell me 行了现在看着她你敢说she doesn’t look exactly like her sister. 她跟她姐姐长得不是一模一样吗I'm saying I see a difference. 我看到不同之处They're twins. 她们是双胞胎I don't care. Phoebe's Phoebe. Ursula's hot! 我不管菲比是菲比厄休拉很火辣You know the thing what we talk about each other about things?你知道我们彼此之间无话不说的吧-Let's not do that anymore. - All right. -别再这么干了 -好吧- Pheebs, guess who we saw today? - Oh, fun! Okay. - 菲比猜我们今天遇见谁 -真好玩- Pheebs, guess who we saw today? - Oh, fun! Okay. 电影演员- Liam Neeson. - No. -连恩·尼逊 -不是- Liam Neeson. - No. 记者- Morley Safer. - No. -莫利·塞弗 -不是- The lady who cuts my hair! - This could be a very long game. -我的女理发师 -这么玩下去没完没了- Your sister, Ursula. - Oh, really? -你姐姐厄休拉 -真的吗- She works at that place.... - Riff's. I know. -她在餐厅上班 -瑞菲餐厅我知道You do? She said you guys haven't talked in years. 你知道吗因为她说你们已多年不说话So, is she fat? 对她胖吗Not from where I was standing. 从我的角度看不会Where were you standing? 你从什么角度Pheebs, so you guys just don't get along? 菲比你们姐俩就是合不来吗It's mostly just dumb sister stuff. 这只是姐妹之间的事Everyone always thought of her as the pretty one. 大家都认为她比我漂亮She was the first to walk 她先学会走路even though I did it later that same day. 虽然我是在当天稍后学会的But to my parents, by then it was, "Yeah, what else is new?" 对我爸妈而言那就已经不新鲜了Pheebs, I'm sorry. I've gotta go. 菲比抱歉我得走了I've got Lamaze class. 我得去学习无痛分娩法And I've got earth science, but I'll catch you in gym? 我得去参加地球科学班健身房见了- ls this just gonna be you and Carol? - Susan will be there too. -就你和卡罗尔吗 -不苏珊也要去We've got dads, we've got lesbians. 这样就有了爸爸还有女同志The whole parenting team. 完美父母团lsn't that gonna be weird? 这样不是会很奇怪No. lt might have been at first... 不会的一开始或许会... but now I'm comfortable with the whole situation. 现在我已坦然面对这个事实- Ross, that's my jacket. - I know. -罗斯那是我的外套 -我知道Hi. We're the Rostens. I'm J. C. and he's Michael. 我们是罗斯特一家我是洁西他叫迈克尔And we're having a boy and a girl. 我怀的是龙凤胎Good for you. All right, next? 厉害下一位I'm Ross Geller. And that's my boy in there. 我叫罗斯她怀的是我的儿子And this is Carol Willick. And this is Susan Bunch. 她叫卡罗尔·威利克这位是苏珊·本驰Susan is Carol's.... 苏珊是卡罗尔的...Who's next? 下一位是谁Sorry, Susan is...? 抱歉苏珊是...Susan is Carol's, Carol's, Carol's, friend... 苏珊是卡罗尔的卡罗尔的朋友- Life partner - Like buddies. -生活伴侣 -伙伴那种- Like lovers. - You know how close women can get. -恋人那种 -你知道女人能有多亲近的- Susan and I live together. - Although I was married to her. -我俩住在一起 -但我俩曾经结过婚- Carol, not me. - It's a bit complicated. -他跟卡罗尔不是我 -有点复杂- But we're fine. - Absolutely! -但是我们能解决 -绝对的So, twins! That's like two births. 双胞胎啊那得生两次吧to you too, Helen. 你也是海伦- Nina Bookbinder is here to see you. - Okay, send her in. -妮娜·布克宾德来访 -好让她进来-Nina. Come on in. -You wanted to see me? -妮娜快进来 -你想见我I was reviewing your data. 我刚在复查你的数据You've been postdating your Friday numbers. 你一直推迟周五数据的日期Which is bad, because...? 这样很不好因为...lt throws my WENUS out of whack. 这样使我的"周净计"出现问题- Excuse me? - WENUS. -你说什么 -"周净计"Weekly Estimated Net Usage Statistics. 每周估计净值使用统计Gotcha! Won't happen again. 明白了不会再犯了I wouldn't want to do anything to hurt your... "wenus." 我绝不会再让你的"周净计"出现问题It's not just that she's cute, okay It's just that... 这不是她漂不漂亮的问题只是......she's really, really cute. 她真的很漂亮It doesn't matter. You don't dip your pen in the company ink. 那也一样兔子不吃窝边草Ross, your little creature's got the remote again. 罗斯你的小动物又在玩遥控器Marcel, give Rossy the remote. 马赛尔把遥控器给罗斯Marcel! 马塞尔Marcel, you give Rossy the remote right now! 马塞尔现在马上把遥控器给罗斯You give Rossy the remote 把遥控器给罗斯- Great. - Relax. I'll fix it. -这下好了 -放心我会修好的Oh, cool! Urkel in Spanish is Urkel. 乌克这个名字在西班牙文中叫"乌克"How did he do this? 他是怎么办到的So tell me something, is leaving the Christmas lights up 我问一句圣诞彩灯还亮着part of your plan to keep us merry all year long? 是想让我们"快乐"一整年吗No, someone was supposed to take them down around New Year's... 不某人在新年期间就应该把它摘下but obviously someone forgot. 但她显然是忘了Someone was supposed to write, 某人应该写个字条"Rach, take down the lights"... "瑞秋摘下圣诞灯"...and put it on the refrigera 然后贴在冰...How long has that been there? 它在这儿多久了- Where you been? - I went back to Riff's. -你上哪儿去了 -瑞菲餐厅I think Ursula likes me. I ordered coffee. 我想厄休拉喜欢我我只点咖啡She brought me a tuna melt and four plates of curly fries. 她却端给我鲔鱼和四盘的薯片Score. 有门了She is so hot! 她好辣Before you do anything Joey-like, 在你展开乔伊"招牌攻势"前you might want to run it by.... 或许你要征求某人的同意- Pheebs? - Yeah. -菲比 -说吧Is it okay if I asked out your sister? 我约你姐出去你会介意吗Why? Why would you want to do that? Why? 为什么你为何要那样做为什么So if we went out on a date, she'd be there. 这样我跟她去约会时她就会在我身边Well, I'm not my sister's, you know, whatever. 好吧反正我也管不了她And I mean, it's true, we were one egg once. 没错我们曾来自同一枚卵子But you know, we've grown apart so.... 但我们渐行渐远所以I don't know. Why not? 我不知道...有何不可Cool. Thanks. 酷谢啦- You okay? - Yeah, I'm fine. -你还好吧 -还好Do you wanna watch Laverney Shirley? 你想看《拉乌妮和舍丽》吗Do you wanna watch Laverney Shirley? 八十年代美国情景喜剧Sorry. 抱歉Hi. Sorry I'm late. Where's Carol? 抱歉我迟到了卡罗尔在哪儿Stuck at school. Some parent-teacher thing. 学校有事她得见见家长You can go. I'll get the information. 你可以走了我留下来上课No, I think I should stay. 不...我应该留下来We should both know what's going on. 我们两个都该留下来上课Oh, good. This will be fun. 很好一定会很有意思的We're gonna start with some basic third-stage breathing exercises.首先是第三阶段基本呼吸练习Moms, get on your back. 各位妈妈请躺下And coaches, you should be supporting Mommy's head. 陪护们支撑妈妈们的头- What? - What? -怎么 -怎么I'm supposed to be the mommy? 我该当妈妈吗I'll play my sperm card once more. 好吧我再拿精子说一次事Look, I don’t see 听着我认为why I should have to miss out on the coaching training 我不能错过这次陪护训练just because I'm a woman. 就因为我是个女人-I see. So, what do we do? - I'll flip you for it. -了解你说该怎么办 -掷硬币Flip me for it? No, no. Heads! 掷铜板吗不不不...我选头...On your back, Mom! 躺下吧妈妈All right,mommies, take a nice deep, cleansing breath. 各位妈妈们请深呼吸净化身心Good. 很好Now imagine your vagina is opening like a flower. 现在请想像你的阴道像花一样绽放- Mr. D! How's it going, sir? - It's been better. -迪先生如何 -好多了The Annual Net Usage Statistics are in. 年度净值已经算出来了-And? - It's pretty ugly. -然后呢 -奇惨无此We haven't seen an ANUS this bad since the '70s. 70年代之后没见过这么惨的"年净" - What does this mean? - We'll be laying off people in every department. -这代表什么 -每个部门都得裁员Hey, listen, I know I came in late last week, 听我解释我知道我上星期迟到了but I slept funny, and my hair was very very... 但我那天睡姿不良头发奇丑无比Not you. Relax. 不是你放松Ever have to fire anyone? 曾经不得不开除某人吗Nina! 妮娜Nina. 妮娜Nina. 妮娜Nina. 妮娜Are you okay? 你没事吧Yes. Yes, I am. 是的我没事Listen, the reason that I called you in here today was.... 听着我今天叫你进来是因为... Please don't hate me. 请别恨我What? 怎么了Would you like to have dinner sometime? 能约你共进晚餐吗So, Pheebs, what do you want for your birthday? 菲比你想要什么生日礼物What I want is for my mom to be alive and enjoy it with me. 我想要我妈复活和我共享人生Okay. Let me put it this way. 好吧这样吧Anything from Crabtree & Evelyn? 想不想要瑰珀翠的产品Anything from Crabtree & Evelyn? 英国彩妆护肤品牌- Bath salts would be nice! - Okay! Good. -我想要浴盐 -好的What is this place? 这是什么地方Look, you’re cold, I have to pee, and... 你很冷我想尿尿而且...there’s a cup of coffee on the window. 窗上还印着杯咖啡How bad could it be? 还有比这更糟的吗I think we have an answer. 我想我们有答案了Why is she here? 她怎么会在这儿This could be God's way of telling us to eat at home.也许这就是老天爷叫我们回家吃饭的方法Think Riff's fired her? 她被瑞菲餐厅开除了吗No, we were there last night. 不昨晚我们还在那吃饭She kept... bringing swordfish. 她不断端来剑鱼Are you gonna go to the...? 你不是要去...No, I'll wait till we order. 不点完之后再去- It's her. - lt looks like her. -是她吧 -看起来像- Excuse me? - Yeah. -打扰一下 -什么事Hi, it's us! 是我们啊Right. And it's me! 好呀是我- So you're here too? - As much as you are. -你也在这儿 -和你们一样Your turn. 该你了- We know what we want. - That's good. -我们知道我们要什么 -很好- Two caffe lattes. - And some biscotti. -我们要两杯拿铁 -还有意大利脆饼Good choice. 不错的选择- It's definitely her. - Yeah. -绝对是她 -没错I can't believe you haven't told that girl she doesn't have a job. 我真不敢相信你还没告诉她她失业了You haven't taken down the Christmas lights. 你还没把圣诞灯拿下来Congratulations! You've found the world's thinnest argument. 恭喜你发现了世上最薄弱的论点I'm finding the right moment. 我只是在寻找适当的时机That shouldn't be so hard now that you're dating. 应该不会太难找到因为你们已开始约会"Honey, you're fired. "亲爱的你被开除了"But how about a quickie before I go to work?" "我上班前何不来个"速战速决""Once you're inside, you don't have to knock anymore. 进门后就不用再敲门了I'll get it. 我来开- Hi, Mr. Heckles. - You're doing it again. -哈克斯先生 -你们又来了We're not doing anything. We're sitting and talking... 我们什么都没做我们只是坐在这聊天...quietly. ...一声不吭I can hear you through the ceiling. 我可以透过天花板听见My cats can't sleep. 我的猫睡不着- You don't even have cats. - I could have cats. -你根本没养猫 -我原本有机会养- Goodbye, Mr. Heckles. - We'll try to keep it down. -再见哈克斯先生 -我们会尽量小声的Phoebe, do me a favor. Try this on. 菲比帮个忙试穿看看I want to make sure it fits. 我想知道合不合身My first birthday present! This is really 我的第一件生日礼物这衣服真...No, no, it's for Ursula. I just figured size-wise.... 不是送厄休拉的我只是想知道尺寸Sure. Yeah. Okay, it fits. 好呀合身Are you seeing her again tonight? 你今晚又和她约会吗Yep, lce Capades. 对去看白雪溜冰团This is serious. 这回你是来真的I've never known you to pay for any kind of "capade." 没想到你会花钱去看什么溜冰表演I don't know. I like her. 我不知道我喜欢她She's different. There's something about her 她与众不同她有种特质That you like. We get it. You like her. Great! 招你喜欢我们懂你喜欢她太好了Phoebe, I asked you. You said it was okay. 菲比我问过你而你也同意了Maybe now it's not okay. 也许现在不同意了Okay. Maybe now I'm not okay with it not being okay. 也许我对于你的不同意也不同意了Okay! 好吧Knit, good woman, knit! 快织好女人快织And that's the Chrysler Building right there. 克莱斯勒大楼就在那儿- Nina! - Mr. Douglas. Cool tie. -妮娜 -道格拉斯先生领带不错She's still here. 她还在这里Yes. Yes, she is. Didn't I memo you on this? 没错她还在我没有提醒你吗After I let her go, I got a call from her psychiatrist, 我开除她后接到她心理医生的电话Dr. Flennan Dr. Flennan Dr. Flynn. 佛...佛...佛林大夫And he informed me that she took the news rather badly. 他告诉我她一时无法接受这个事实In fact, he mentioned the word "frenzy." 老实说他提到"狂暴"这个词You're kidding! She seems so 开什么玩笑她明明看起来...No. Nina? She's 不妮娜她...In fact, if you asked her now... 事实上如果你现在问她...she'd have no recollection of being fired at all. 她根本记不得被开除这件事- That's unbelievable. - And yet believable. -难以置信 -你不得不信So I decided not to fire her again 因此我决定不再开除她until she'll be no threat to herself or others. 直到她对自己和他人不构成威胁为止I guess you never know what's going on inside a person's head.看来人们永远无法了解他人心中所想Well, I guess that's why they call it psychology, sir. 我想这就是"心理学"名字的由来先生The sound Mom and Dad will never forget. 爸妈永远忘不了这声音For this, after all, is the miracle of birth. 这一切说到底是生产的奇迹Lights, please. And that's having a baby. 请开灯这一集是生宝宝Next week is our final class. 下周是我们的最后一堂课Susan, go deep. 苏珊准备接球- It's just impossible. - What is, honey? -这太离谱了... -怎么了亲爱的What that woman did. 那个女人的所作所为I am not doing that. It'll just have to stay in. 我不会这么做的他得留在我体内Everything will be the same. It'll just stay in. 一切和原来一样他得留在我体内Carol, honey, it'll be all right. 卡罗尔亲爱的不会有事的What do you know? 你知道什么No one's asking you, 又没人问你,"Mind if we push this pot roast through your nostril?" "我能将这肉块穿过你的鼻孔吗" Carol, sweetie. Cleansing breath. 卡罗尔亲爱的深呼吸I know it's frightening. But big picture: 我知道你很惶恐往长远想The birth part is just one day. 生产过程只是一天When it's over, we'll all be parents for the rest of our lives. 结束后我们这辈子都是他的父母了I mean, that's what this is all about, right? Ross? 怀胎生子为的不就是这些吗罗斯Ross? 罗斯I'm gonna be a father. 我要当爸爸了- This is news to you? - I knew I was having a baby. -你才刚知道 -我一直都知道要有孩子了I just never realized the baby was having me. 只是没意识到要担起父亲的责任- You'll be great. - How can you say that? -你会是个好爸爸的 -你怎会知道I can't even get Marcel to stop eating the bathmat. 我连阻止马塞尔吃浴垫都办不到- How will I raise a kid? - Some scientists are now saying... -我如何抚养孩子 -罗斯科学家说...that monkeys and babies are actually different. 孩子和猴子是不一样的- Where you going? - Out. -你去哪里 -外面With...? 和谁Yes. 是的Can I just ask you one question? 能问你一个问题吗Have you two, you know, like, you know? 你们有没有...你明白的就是那啥You know, yet? 你知道的对吧Not that it's any of your business, but no, we haven't. 不关你的事但是还没有行了吗You meant sex, right? 你是指性吧对吧- Do you have a sec? - Sure. Nina. What's up? -有空吗 -当然妮娜什么事I don't know.The past few days, people have been avoiding me 我不知道最近几天大家怎么都避开我and giving me these really strange looks. 还怪怪地看我Well, maybe that's because they're jealous of us. 或许是因为他们在嫉妒我们Maybe. But that doesn't explain why they keep taking my scissors. 或许吧但他们为何拿走我的剪刀Maybe that's because you're getting a big raise! 或许是因为你被升职的缘故- I am? - Sure. Why not? -我升职了 -当然为什么不呢Oh, my God! You're amazing! 天啊你真是太了不起了You don't know. 那你可不知道Helen, could you make sure 海伦能尽快办好we put through the paperwork on Miss Bookbinder's raise? 布克宾得小姐升职的手续吗You still want me to send her psychological profile to Personnel?你还要我拿她的心理状况档案到人事部吗- What? - Helen drinks. -她说什么 -海伦喝醉了Will you marry me? 你愿意嫁给我吗I end up told her everything. 最后我把一切都告诉她了How'd she take it? 她的反应如何Pretty well. Except for the stapler thing. 还不错除了拿钉书机钉我之外A tip. If you're ever in a similar situation... 提示一下以后遇见类似的状况... never, ever leave your hand on the desk. 切记别把手放在桌上Okay, I think I get how to do this. 我知道该怎么调这个了Can we turn it off? 我们能把这关掉吗Make them go away because I can't watch. 让这个画面消失我实在看不下去Okay, Pheebs, they're gone. 好了菲比现在没有了Are you all right? 你还好吧It's just this whole stupid Ursula thing. 还不是厄休拉惹的祸Pheebs, can I ask? 菲比我冒昧问下...So he's going out with her. Is it really so terrible? 他和她约会真有那么糟吗Yeah. 是的I'm not saying she's evil or anything. 我不是说她很坏还是怎样She's just always breaking my stuff. 她总是弄坏我的东西When I was 8, and I wouldn’t let her have my Judy Jetson thermo s,我8岁时不肯让她玩我的卡通水杯so she threw it under the bus. 她把它扔到公车下And then there's Randy Brown, who was like 然后还有个蓝迪·布朗就像Have you ever had a boyfriend who was your best friend?你们有没有异性好友变成男友的情况That's what he was for me. 我当时的状况就是如此And she kind of stole him away and then broke his heart. 她把他抢走又伤了他的心Then he wouldn't talk to me anymore. 他从此不和我说话He didn't want to be around anything that looked like either one of us.因为他说他不愿再见像她的人I know Joey's not my boyfriend or my thermos... 我知道乔伊不是我男朋友或者水杯...or anything, but 或其他的什么但是- You won't lose him. - You gotta talk to Joey. -你不会失去他的 -你得找乔伊谈谈-Yeah. - Come on, he didn't know these staff. -说得轻巧 -别这样他又不知道这些- lf he knew how you felt - But he's falling in love with her. -如果他知道你的感受 -但他爱上她了Please. They've been going out a week. 拜托他们才约会一个星期They haven't even slept together yet. That's not serious. 根本还没上床关系还没确定下来Okay. Okay. 好吧好吧May we help you? 需要帮忙吗May we help you? 未完待续Rachel, what are you doing? It's freezing. Would you come inside? 瑞秋你在干什么这么冷的天赶紧进来No, no, no. 不不不You wanted me to take them down... 你让我把它们摘下来...so I'm taking them down, okay? 那我就把它们摘下来Rachel! Rachel! 瑞秋瑞秋I'm okay. I'm okay. 我没事我没事Mr. Heckles? 哈克斯先生Mr. Heckles, could you help me, please? 哈克斯先生能帮我一下吗See, this is just the kind of thing I was talking about. 看吧我说过楼上就是这么吵第一季第十六集老友记So no one told you life was gonna be this way 没人告诉你生活会是这样your jobs a joke, you're broke, 你滑稽的工作你的差劲your love life's D.O.A. 你半途而废的爱情It's like you're always stuck in second gear, 就像开车卡在二档And it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, 每日每周每月or even your year, but 甚至每年都是如此I'll be there for you, 大雨倾盆时when the rain starts to pour. 我会陪伴你I'll be there for you, 我会陪伴你like I've been there before. 像我以前那样I'll be there for you, 我会陪伴你'cause you're there for me too. 因为你也陪伴着我。
老友记第一季剧本17 The One With Two Parts, Part 2
Chandler: (Tapping Ross on his shoulder) So, you feel like a dad yet?Ross: No, why?Chandler: Hey, come on, you came through, you did what you had to do. That is very dad.(Ross does approve of this, but he's still not sure. The tiny figure stirs.) Monica: Oh, look, he's waking up!Ross: (Quietly) hey, fella! How you doing?(All of a sudden, Marcel grabs Ross's finger with his whole fist, and he squeezes it, so tight, that Ross finally knows what it is to be a father. He looks up at his friends, who smile encouragingly, Rachel tenderly resting her chin upon Monica's shoulder. Ross realises that Chandler was right and he's gonna make a great dad!) Closing Credits[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey is there. Rachel is looking out of the window and Ross is handing out some Chinese takeout. There's a small SAP in the corner of the screen.]Ross: Aqui est? (Here it is!)Monica: 緼qui閚pidio el pollo General Tso? (Who ordered General Sal's chicken?)Chandler: udo aver sido General Tso! (It could've been General Sal!) (Rachel points out of the window.)Rachel: ira, mira, el viejo desnudo est?haciendo el hula hoop! (Look, look, Ugly Naked Guy is doing the hula!)(The others rush to the window for a look.)All:www! (Ewww!)(Joey enters, happy again.)All: ola, Joey! (Hi, Joey!)Joey: ola, amigos! (Hey, everybody!)(Marcel grabs the remote.)Monica: Mira, Ross, Marcel se llevo el control remoto. (Look, Ross, Marcel's got the remote.)Ross: o que sucedio es que no le gusta la tele! (The thing is, he doesn`t like the program!)(Everybody laughs.)End。
经典美剧《老友记》-第一季-第十七集-字幕-对白-中英文对照-看美剧学英语
Previously on "Friends"... 《老友记》前情提要- Excuse me, miss! - It's Phoebe! -嗨小姐 -是菲比Okay, will that be all? 你们就点这些吗They're twins. 她们是双胞胎Phoebe's Phoebe. Ursula's hot! 菲比是菲比厄休拉很火辣It's, it's for Ursula. 是送厄休拉的Sure. Yeah. Okay, it fits. 好呀合身Marcel, give Rossy the remote. 马赛尔把遥控器给罗斯How did he do this? 他是怎么办到的It's just this whole stupid Ursula thing. 还不是厄休拉惹的祸So he's going out with her. Is it really so terrible? 他和她约会真有那么糟吗You don't know my sister. 你们不了解我姐姐You gotta talk to Joey. 你得找乔伊谈谈He's falling in love with her. 他爱上她了You won't lose him. 你不会失去他的They haven't even slept together yet. That's not serious. 根本还没上床关系还没确定下来May we help you? 需要帮忙吗Rachel! Rachel! 瑞秋瑞秋I'm okay. I'm okay. 我没事我没事Uh, my friend here was taking down our Christmas lights, 我朋友在取下圣诞灯时and she fell off the balcony 从阳台跌下来and may have broken her foot or or ankle or something. 可能伤了脚踝或是哪里My god. You still have your Christmas lights up? 天啊你们的圣诞灯还亮着Fill this out and bring it back to me. 填好资料后拿给我Name, address. 姓名地址Okay, In case of emergency call? 紧急联络人You. 你Really? 真的Yeah. 对Oh, that is so sweet. 你真好Oh gosh, love you. 我爱你Insurance? 保险Oh, yeah, check it. Definitely, I want some of that. 对哦打勾我当然需要保险You don't have insurance? 你没有保险吗Why, how much is this gonna cost? 怎么了要多少钱I have no idea, but X-rays alone could be a couple hundred dollars. 我不知道单是X光就可能得好几百元Wel-wel-well what are we gonna do? 我们该怎么办Well there's not much we can do. 没有太多办法可想Um... unless, unless I use yours. 除非我用你的Hah, no no no no no no no no no no. 不行不行绝对没门Wait a second, who did I just put as my "In case of emergency" person? 等等我刚把谁填成"紧急联络人"了That's insurance fraud. 这是保险欺诈Well, alright, then, forget it. Might as well just go home. 好吧算了我直接回家算了Come here, I hate this. 好吧回来我真讨厌这样做Thank you. Thank you. I love you. 谢谢谢谢我爱你Hi, um, I'm gonna need a new set of these forms . 不好意思我需要新表格Why? 为什么I am really an idiot. 我真是个笨蛋You see, I was filling out my friend's form, 我替我朋友填资料时and instead of putting her information, I put mine. 填的不是她的资料而是我的You are an idiot. . 你真是个笨蛋Yep, that's me, I am that stupid. 没错这就是我我就是那么笨I had a dream last night where I was playing football with my kid.我昨晚梦见自己在和我儿子在玩橄榄球That's nice. 真温馨No, no, with him. 不他是球I'm on this field, and they, they hike me the baby 我在球场上他们用我儿子开球And I, I know I've gotta do something 我知道自己得做点什么'cause the Tampa Bay defence is comin' right at me. 因为坦帕湾队的防守球员逐渐逼近Tampa Bay's got a terrible team. 坦帕湾队烂得要死Right, but, it is just me and the baby, 没错但只有我和我儿子so I'm thinkin' they can take us. 我想我们死定了And so I uh, hah-hah, I just heave it down field. 所以我只好把我儿子扔出去What are you crazy? That's a baby! 什么你疯啦那是你儿子He should take the sack? 那他该擒杀吗Anyway, suddenly I'm down field, 总之突然我又到了前场and I realise that I'm the one who's supposed to catch him, right?我发现该接住我儿子的人是我Only I know there is no way I'm gonna get there in time, 但我绝对来不及赶过去So I am running, and running, 于是我跑啊跑and that, that is when I woke up. 然后就惊醒了See I, I am so not ready to be a father. 看我根本还没准备好当爸爸Hey, you're gonna be fine. 你没问题的You're one of the most caring, most responsible men in North America.你是全美最细心最有责任感的男人You're gonna make a great dad. 你将来一定是个好爸爸的Yeah, Ross. You and the baby just need better blocking. 没错罗斯你和你儿子只需要提高防守Oh, have either one of you guys ever been to the Rainbow Room? 你们去过彩虹厅吗Is it real expensive? 真有那么贵Well, only if you order stuff. 只有点东西吃才会贵I'm takin' Ursula tonight. It's her birthday. 我今晚要带厄休拉去今天是她生日Wo-wo-whoa. What about Phoebe's birthday? 等等菲比的生日该怎么办When's that? 什么时候Tonight. 今晚Oh, man. What're the odds of that happening? 天怎么会有这么巧的事情You take your time. 慢慢想吧There it is! 这回想通了So what're you gonna do? 你打算怎么办What can I do? 我能怎么办Look, I don't want to do anything to screw it up with Ursula. 我不想让厄休拉不开心And your friend Phoebe? 你的朋友菲比呢Well, if she's my friend, hopefully she'll understand. 如果她是我朋友希望她能谅解I mean, wouldn't you guys? 你们不是都能谅解吗Man, if you tried something like that on my birthday, 我生日时如果你敢这样做you'd be starin' at the business end of a hissy fit. 那你就等着我勃然大怒吧you add a pinch of saffron, it makes all the difference. 加上少量藏红花就能使情况完全改观Okay, errrr, Monica? 摩妮卡Yes? ..yes, she is. 在在她在呢- Hi, this is my friend Rachel. - Hi. -嗨这是我朋友瑞秋 -嗨Hi, err Rachel. I'm Dr.Mitchell. 瑞秋我是米契尔大夫And I'm his friend,Dr.Rosen. 我是他的朋友罗森大夫Aren't you a little cute to be a doctor? 你们当医生是否太帅了一点Excuse me? 你说什么I meant er, young, young, 年轻我是指年轻I meant young, young to be a doctor. 你当医生稍嫌年轻了点Oh good, Rach. 你真会说瑞秋- Thank you. - Right. -谢谢 -好的so, he said it was just a sprain, and that was it. 他说这只是扭伤就这样Uh, you left out the stupid part. 你忘了说我们做的蠢事Not stupid. 才不蠢呢The very cute, cute, cute doctors asked us out for tomorrow night,这两位超级大帅哥医生约我们明晚出去and I said "yes." 我答应了I think it's totally insane, I mean, they work for the hospital. 你根本就是疯了他们在医院工作It's like returning to the scene of the crime. 我们这样相当于回到犯罪现场自投罗网You know, I say we blow off the dates. 还是取消约会吧What? 什么Monica, they are cute, they are doctors, 莫妮卡他们是大帅哥而且还是医生cute doctors, doctors who are cute! 帅哥医生很帅的医生Alright, what have we learned so far? 好了目前为止我们学习到什么Surprise!!! 惊喜What the hell are you doing? You scared the crap outta me. 你们在干什么把我吓死了Was that the cake? 那是蛋糕吗Yeah, yeah. I got a lemon schmush. 对柠檬口味Come on, she'll be here any minute. 快她随时会到I hope it's okay. 希望蛋糕没事"Happy Birthday Peehe." "生日快乐菲..."Well maybe we can make a, a, a 'B' out of one of those roses.或许我们可以用一朵玫瑰改成"比"Yeah, we'll just use our special cake tools. 是啊用我们的专业蛋糕工具Hey, what's going on? 什么事Oh, we just... 我们只是Surprise! 惊喜This is so great! Oh my god! This was not at all scary. 你们真是太好了一点都不吓人Hi everybody. Hi Betty! Betty, Hi! 各位好贝蒂贝蒂你好You found Betty! Oh my god! This is great. 你们找到了贝蒂天啊太好了Everybody I love is in the same room, Where's Joey? 我爱的大家都在一起乔伊在哪儿Did you see Betty? 你看见贝蒂没I tell you one thing, 我跟你说I wouldn't mind having a piece of this sun-dried tomato business.我很愿意在番茄干生意中分一杯羹Five years ago, if somebody had said to me, 五年前如果有人说here's a tomato that looks like a prune, 我的蕃茄瘪得像干李子I'd say "get out of my office!" 我会叫他滚出我的办公室Dad, before I was born, did you freak out at all? 爸我出生前你有没有紧张I'm not freaking out, I'm just saying, 我不紧张我是说if somebody had come to me with the idea and- 如果有人来建议我做这个生意...Dad, dad, dad, I'm talkin' about the whole uh, baby thing. 爸爸爸我在谈小孩的事Did you uh, ever get this sort of panicky, 我出生前你是否很紧张"Oh my god I'm gonna be a father" kind of a thing? 觉得"天啊我要当爹了"之类的No. 不Your mother really did the work. I was busy with the business. 你妈妈全包办了我又忙于公司I wasn't around that much. Is that what this is about? 经常不在家你找我来是为了这个No, no, Dad, I was just wondering. 不是爸我只是有点迷惑'Cause there's time to make up for that. 因为我们还有时间弥补We can do stuff together. 我们可以花些时间在一起You always wanted to go to that Colonial Williamsburg. 你一直想去威廉斯堡How 'bout we do that? 我们一起去如何Thanks, Dad, really, I just you know, I just, 谢了爸我只是I just needed to know, 我只是想知道um when did you start to feel like a father? 你何时起感觉自己像个父亲Oh, well, I, I guess it musta been 我想应该是the day after you were born. 你出生后第一天We were in the hospital room, your mother was asleep, 我们在病房你妈在睡觉and they brought you in and gave you to me. 他们把你抱进来交给我You were this ugly little red thing, 你当时是个红彤彤的小丑娃and all of a sudden you grabbed my finger with your whole fist. 你突然用拳头紧抓住我的手指And you squeezed it, so tight. 紧紧捏住我的手指And that's when I knew. 那时候我才感觉到So you don't wanna go to Williamsburg? 所以你不想去威廉斯堡吗No, we can go to Williamsburg. 没有我想去Eat your fish. 吃鱼吧Rachel, the cute doctors are here. 瑞秋帅哥医生来了Okay, coming! 来了- Hi, come on in. - Hey. -请进 -嗨- Hi, Geoffrey. - Hi. -你好杰佛瑞 -你好Ah here, we brought wine. 我们带了一瓶酒Look at this, it's from the cellars of Ernest and Tova Borgnine,这是来自恩尼斯及托夫波尼酒窖- so how could we resist? - Oh, that's great. Look at that. -我们怎么能拒绝呢 -太好了真不错So, Monica, how's the ankle? 摩妮卡脚踝如何It's uh... 它啊Well, why don't you tell them? 你何不告诉他们After all it, is your ankle. 毕竟这是你的脚踝You know what, it's feeling a lot better, thank you, um 你猜怎么着感觉好多了谢谢Well, listen, why don't you two sit down and, 这样吧你们先请坐and we'll get you some glasses 我们去拿杯子Stat! 快坐好Okay, listen, I'm thinking, 听我说我刚在想why don't we just tell them who we really are? 何不干脆向他们表明我们的身份I mean, it'll be fine, I really think it'll be fine. 我相信绝对不会有事的It will not be fine. We'll get in trouble. 才不会我们会惹上大麻烦Oh, Monica! Would you stop being such a wuss? 摩妮卡别那么不争气A wuss? 不争气Excuse me for living in the real world, okay? 抱歉我活在真实的世界之中- So? - So... they sss-still seem normal. -所以呢 -她们似乎很正常That's because they are. 本来就正常okay, but you have to admit that 好吧但你得承认every time we go out with women we meet at the hospital 每次我们和医院认识的女患者约会- it turns into.. - Willya relax? -结果都会... -别紧张Look around. No pagan altars, 看看四周没有异教徒的神坛no piles of bones in the corners, they're fine. 角落没有成堆的骨头她们没事的Go like this. 来做这个动作I said we are not going to do it, okay? 要我说我们绝不能这么做Sometimes you can be such a, a big baby. 有时你真的真的很幼稚I am not a baby! 我才不幼稚- You know what - What -你知道吗 -怎样- You know what - What! -你知道吗 -怎样- You know what - What!! -你知道吗 -到底怎样Every day, you are becoming more and more like your mother. 你一天天变得愈来愈像你妈了Hello! Here we go! 来美酒到This is a great place. How long have you lived here? 这房子好漂亮住在这儿多久了Thanks! I've been here about six years, 谢谢我住在这能有六年了and Rachel moved in a few months ago. 瑞秋几个月前才搬来Yeah...see, I was supposed to get married, 对我本来应该结婚的but, um, I left the guy at the altar. 但我逃婚了- Really? - Yeah. -真的吗 -是的Yeah Yeah, I know it's pretty selfish, but haha, hey, that's me. 我知道这样很自私但我就是这种人Why don't you try the hummus? 尝尝这个鹰嘴豆泥So, Monica, what do you do? 那摩妮卡你从事什么工作Aahh, I'm a chef at a restaurant uptown. 我是上城区一家餐厅的主厨Good for you. 真有你的Yeah it is, 没错Mostly because I get to boss people around, which I just love to do. 主要是因为我能使唤别人我很喜欢这样This hummus is great. 这个鹰嘴豆泥不错.God bless the chickpea. 上帝保佑鹰嘴豆Oh, god, I am so spoiled. 天啊我真是被宠坏了That's it! 就这样了And by the way, have I mentioned that 对了我有没有提过back in high school, I was a cow? 高中那会儿我壮得像头牛I used to wet my bed. 我常尿床I use my breasts to get other people's attention. 我以胸部吸引别人的注意We both do that! 我们都一样Monica and Rachel's apartment. 摩妮卡与瑞秋的公寓Just one second ..ah, Rachel, it's your dad. 等等瑞秋是你爸Hi, Dad. 爸No, no, it's me. 不是我Li-listen, Dad, I can't talk right now, 听我说老爸我现在没空um, but there's something, 但有些话um there's something that I've been meaning to tell you 有些话我一直想告诉你Would you excuse me for a second? 失陪一下Remember back in freshman year? 记得我大一那年吗Well, Billy Dreskin and I had sex on your bed. 我和比利·德瑞克森在你床上做爱Daddy Daddy... 爸爸你听我说why whyyy would I sleep with Billy Dreskin? 为什么我干嘛和比利·德瑞克森上床His father tried to put you out of business! 他爸可是想抢走你的生意You're dead! 你死定了Ross, he's got the remote again. 罗斯他又在玩遥控器了Good. 好的Maybe he can switch it back. 或许他能将语言调回来Maybe not. 或许不会Hello. 喂Um, yeah, uh, Okay ah, hold on a second, 好的等等lemme lemme just check and see if see if she's here. 我看看我看看她在不在It's the woman from the hospital admissions office. 医院入院处那个女人打来的She says there's a problem with the form. 她说表格有问题Oh, god, oh god, Oh god, waddawe do, waddawe do, waddawe do? 天啊天啊我们该怎么办I don't know! 我不知道What do they want? Find out what they want! 他们要干什么问他们要干什么Okay no, you do it. 不你问Hello, this is Monica 喂我是摩妮卡Yeah???Oh... 是的Okay, yes, we'll be right, we'll be right down.Thank you. 好我们马上去谢谢What? 什么事We forgot to sign one of the admissions forms. 我们忘了在入院表格上签名Ohhh Okay, you were right. You were right! 你说得对你说得对- This was just not worth it. - Thank you. -不值得这么做 -谢谢- Okay, let me just change. - Yes. -我们改回来 -好- Hey. - Hey! -嗨 -嗨Trouble? 有心事Your sister stood me up the other night. 你姐前天晚上放我鸽子Oh, no. Don't you hate it when people aren't there for you? 不是吧被人放鸽子的滋味不好受吧Well did you try calling her? 你有打电话给她吗I've been trying for two days. 我连打了两天When I called the restaurant, they said she was too busy to talk. 打给餐厅时他们说她太忙没空讲话I can't believe she's blowin' me off. 我不敢相信她想甩掉我Um you, you got a minute? 有空吗Um, yeah, I'm just... ..working. 有我只是在工作So. 那...Um, oh, I got you a birthday present. 我为你买了生日礼物Oh, wow! You remembered! 天啊你记得Oh! It's a Judy Jetson thermos! 是个卡通水杯- Right, like the kind you... - Right -对就像被你弄坏那个... -是哦- Oh, I got something for you, too. - How'd you know I was coming? -我也有东西送你 -你怎知道我会来Um, yeah, um, twin thing. 我们是双胞胎嘛I can't believe you did this. 我不敢相信你会这么做I can't believe you.....did this. 我不敢相信...你会这么做So What's the deal with umm, you and Joey? 你和乔伊之间怎么回事Oh, right. He is so great. But that's over. 他人很好但我们分手了- Does he know? - Who? -他知道吗 -谁Joey. You know, um, he's really nutsy about you. 乔伊他对你着迷不已He is? Why? 是吗为什么You got me. 你可把我问倒了Right. 没错.Excuse me.Doesn't this come with a side salad? 服务员这道菜不是有沙拉配吗So, um, are you gonna call him? 那你会打电话给他吗What? Do you think he likes me? 怎么你认为他喜欢我No, Joey. 不是乔伊No, no, he is so smart. He'll figure it out. 不他很聪明他会想通的Do you want some chicken? 想吃鸡肉吗No. No food with a face. 不带脸的食材不吃You have not changed! 你一点没变Yeah, you too. 你也一样Hi, remember us? 记得我们吗Um, okay.You just called a little while ago 你刚打电话给我们about needing a signature on the admissions form. 说要在入院表格上签名Well, it turns out we need a whole new one 但我们需要一张全新的表格because uh, you see, 因为我I-I, I put the wrong name again.'causeum... 我又写错名字了因为You're that stupid. 你就是那么笨I am. I'm that stupid. 对我就是那么笨Yeah, and and, I'm just gonna pay for this with a check. 我要用支票付帐Well, you know your insurance will cover that. 你不知道保险会给付吗Yeah, I know... ..I'm I'm just not that bright either. 我知道只是我也没那么聪明Okay, worst case scenario. 最糟糕的情况是Say you never feel like a father. 假如你永远不会有爸爸的感觉Say your son never feels connected to you, as one. 假设你儿子永远不会跟你有感情Say all of his relationships are affected by this. 假设他的恋爱观将会受此影响Do you have a point? 你这话有重点吗You know, you think I would. 你觉得我有没有呢What's up with the simian? 这只猴子怎么了It's just a fur ball. 只是毛球Okay...whose turn is it? 好吧该谁了Yours, I just got 43 points for 'KIDNEY'. 你我刚拼出的"肾"得了43分No, no, you got zero points for 'IDNEY'. 不你没得分你拼的是"月"I had a 'K'. Where's where's my 'K'? 不对我有上半边跑哪儿去了You've got to help me my monkey swallowed a 'K'! 快帮我我的猴子吞了个字母You go get that animal outta here. 把你的动物带走!No, no you don't understand 不你不明白the animal hospital is way across town 动物医院在城的另一头he'schoking I don't know what else to do. 他噎到了我不知道怎么办- What's goin' on?- Marcel swallowed a Scrabble tile. -怎么回事 -马塞尔吞了一个拼字字母Excuse me This hospital is for people! 抱歉这是为人看病的医院Lady, he is people.He has a name, okay? 小姐他是人他有名字He watches Jeopardy! 他爱看"挑战自我"节目He he touches himself when nobody's watching. 如果没人盯着他他还会自摸- Please, please have a heart! - I'll take a look at him. -拜托有点爱心吧 -我替它看看- Oh, thank you. Michael. - Rachel. -谢谢麦克 -瑞秋- What? - Monica. -什么 -莫妮卡Hey. 嗨Urse... 厄休拉ah, what're you doing here? I've been trying to call you. 你怎么会在这儿我一直打电话找你Listen, um... 听我说No, no, no, don't say "listen." I know that "listen." 不别叫我听我知道你的意思I've said that "listen." 我对别人这么说过I'm sorry. 抱歉I don't get it.What happened? 我不懂你这是怎么了What about everything you said under the bridge? 你在桥下说过的话呢Yeah, um... 这样...You should just forget about what I said under the bridge, 你得忘记我在桥下说过的话I was talkin' crazy that night, I was so drunk! 我那一夜喝醉了全是胡言乱语You don't drink. 你不喝酒That's right, I don't .. 没错我不喝酒But I was, I was drunk on you! 但我爱你爱得如痴如醉Oh, Urse... 厄休拉Okay, yeah, so it's not gonna work. 我们是没有结果的Why? Is it because I'm friends with Phoebe? 为什么因为我是菲比的朋友吗If it was, would you stop hanging out with her? 如果是你愿意不和她来往吗No. No, I, I couldn't do that. 不行我办不到Um, then yes, it's 'cause of Phoebe! 那没错就是因为她So, you know, it's either her or me. 所以不是她就是我Then, uh, then I'm sorry. 那么我只能说抱歉了You're gonna be really, really hard to get over. 忘了你会是很难的一件事I know... 我知道I don't know whether it's just 'cause we're breakin' up or what,我不知是因为我们要分手还是怎样but you have never looked so beautiful. 你从未这么漂亮过Really? 真的- Pheebs? - Yeah. Oooh... -菲比 -什么事He looks so tiny. 它看起来好小- We just got the message. - Is he alright? -我们刚听说 -他没事吧Yeah. The doctor got the 'K' out. 没事医生已取出字母了He also found an 'M' and an 'O'. 他还发现另外两个We think he was trying to spell out 'MONKEY.' 我们猜他是想拼出"猴子"二字Well, the doctor says he's gonna be fine, he's just sleeping now. 医生说它已无大碍它刚睡着So, you feel like a dad yet? 那你现在有当爸爸的感觉没No, why? 没有干嘛问Hey, come on, you came through, you did what you had to do. 拜托你办到了你做了必须做的That is very dad. 有爸爸的味道了Oh, look, he's waking up! 看他醒了hey, fella! How you doing? 小猴子感觉如何Here it is! 上菜了Who ordered General Sal's chicken? 谁点的左宗棠鸡Who ordered General Sal's chicken? 国外常见中餐菜It could've been General Sal! 这不可能是左宗棠鸡Look, look, Ugly Naked Guy is doing the hula! 快看快看丑裸男在跳呼拉图舞Hi, Joey! 嗨乔伊Hi, amigos! 嗨朋友们Look, Ross, Marcel's got the remote. 看啊罗斯马塞尔在用遥控器The thing is, he doesn't like the program! 问题是他根本不喜欢这个节目。
Friends老友记第一季第20集 - The Evil Orthodontist
The One With the Evil OrthodontistWritten by: Doty AbramsTranscribed by: guineapig[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there.]Chandler:I can't believe you would actually say that. I would much rather be Mr.Peanut than Mr.Salty.Joey: No way! Mr.Salty is a sailor, all right, he's got to be, like, thetoughest snack there is.Ross:I don't know, you don't wanna mess with corn nuts. They're craaazy.Monica: (looking out of the window) Oh my God. You guys! You gotta come see this! There's some creep out there with a telescope!Ross: I can't believe it! He's looking right at us!Rachel: Oh, that is so sick.Chandler: I feel violated. And not in a good way.Phoebe: How can people do that?... (All but Phoebe walk away from the window in disgust.) Oh, you guys, look! Ugly Naked Guy got gravity boots!Opening Credits[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Rachel is there.]Chandler:I am telling you, years from now, schoolchildren will study it as one of the greatest first dates of all time. It was unbelievable! We could totally be ourselves, we didn't have to play any games...Monica: So have you called her yet?Chandler:Let her know I like her? What are you, insane? (The girls make disgusted noises.) It's the next day! How needy do I want to seem? (To the guys) I'm right, right?Joey and Ross: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Let her dangle.Monica:I can't believe my parents are actually pressuring me to find one of you people.Phoebe: Oh, God, just do it! (Grabbing the phone.) Call her! Stop being so testosteroney!Chandler:Which, by the way, is the real San Francisco treat. (Calls her, then hurriedly hangs up.) I got her machine.Joey: Her answer machine?Chandler: No, interestingly enough her leaf blower picked up.Phoebe: So, uh, why didn't you say anything?Chandler:Oh, no-no-no-no. Last time I left a spontaneous message I ended up using the phrase "Yes indeedy-o."Monica:Look look! It's Rachel and Barry. No, don't everybody look at once!Ross: Okay, okay, what's going on?Phoebe: Okay, they're just talking...Ross:Yeah, well, does he look upset? Does he look like he was just told to shove anything?Phoebe:No, no actually, he's smiling.. and... Oh my God, don't do that!!Ross: What? What? What?!Phoebe: That man across the street just kicked that pigeon! (Rachel enters.) Oh!Chandler: (bluffing) And basically, that's how a bill becomes a law.All: Oh!... Right!Chandler: Hey Rach!Monica: How'd it go?Rachel:Y'know, it was, uh.. it was actually really great. He took me to lunch at the Russian Tea Room, and I had that chicken, where y'know you poke it and all the butter squirts out...Phoebe: Not a good day for birds...Rachel:Then we took a walk down to Bendall's, and I told him not to, but he got me a little bottle of Chanel...Ross: That's nice... now, was that before or after you told him to stop calling, stop sending you flowers and to generally leave you alone, hmm?Rachel:Right,.. well,.. we never actually got to that... Oh, it was just so nice to see him again, y'know? It was comfortable, it was familiar... it was just nice!Ross: That's, that's nice twice!Monica:Rachel, what's going on? I mean isn't this the same Barry who you left at the altar?Joey: Duh, where've you been?Rachel: Yeah, but it was different with him today! And he wasn't, like, Orthodontist Guy, y'know? I mean, we had fun! Is there anything wrong with that?(Ross 'prompts' Chandler by hitting him on the arm.)Chandler: Yes!Rachel: Why?Chandler: I have my reasons.Monica:Okay, how about the fact that he's engaged to another woman, who just happens to be your ex-best friend?Rachel:All right. All right, all right, all right, all right, I know it's stupid! I will go see him this afternoon, and I will just put an end to it![Scene: Barry's Office, the post-coital Barry and Rachel are recovering on the chair.]Rachel: Wow... Wow!Barry: Yeah.Rachel: I'm not crazy, right? I mean, it was never like that.Barry: Nooo, it wasn't.Rachel: Ooh, and it's so nice having this little sink here... [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there except Rachel.]Chandler: (on phone, reading from a script) Oh, Danielle! I wasn't expecting the machine... Give me a call when you get a chance. (Rattles some dishes) Bye-bye. (Hangs up.) Oh God!Monica:That's what you've been working on for the past two hours?! Chandler: Hey, I've been honing!Ross: What was with the dishes?Chandler:Oh, uh.. I want her to think I might be in a restaurant.. y'know?I might have some kind of life, like I haven't been sitting around here honing for the past few hours.Monica:(looking out the window) Look look! He's doing it again, the guy with the telescope!Phoebe:Oh my God! (Walks to the window) Go away! (Gesturing.) Stop looking in here!Monica: Great, now he's waving back.Joey: Man, we gotta do something about that guy. This morning, I caught him looking into our apartment. It creeps me out! I feel like I can't do stuff!Monica: What kinda stuff?Joey:Will you grow up? I'm not talking about sexy stuff, but, like, when I'm cooking naked.Phoebe: You cook naked?Joey: Yeah, toast, oatmeal... nothing that spatters.(A pause as they look at Chandler.)Chandler: What are you looking at me for? I didn't know that.[Scene: Barry's Office, Rachel and Barry are getting married.] Barry: What's the matter?Rachel: Oh, it's just... Oh, Barry, this was not good.Barry: No, it was. It was very very good.Rachel: Well, what about Mindy?Barry: Oh, way, way better than Mindy.Rachel: No, not that, I mean, what about you and Mindy?Barry: Well, if you want, I'll just—I'll just break it off with her.Rachel: No. No-no-no-no, no. I mean, don't do that. Not, I mean not for me.Bernice: (over intercom) Dr. Farber, Bobby Rush is here for his adjustment.Barry: (into intercom) Thanks, Bernice. (To Rachel) Let's go away this weekend.Rachel: Oh, Barry..! Come on, this is all way too..Barry: We can, we can go to Aruba! When I went there on what would have been our honeymoon, it was, uh... it was really nice. You would've liked it.(Pause as Rachel realises...)Rachel: I had a bra.(Barry finds it draped on a cupboard and gives it to Rachel, they kiss as Bobby enters.)Bobby: Hey, Dr. Farber.(Rachel and Barry quickly split and pretend Barry is examining Rachel's mouth.)Barry:All right Miss Green, everything looks fine... Yep, I think we're starting to see some real progress here.(Bobby looks on, deadpan.)Rachel: What?!Bobby: I'm twelve, I'm not stupid.(Rachel glares at him.)[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler enters clutching his phone.]Chandler: Can I use your phone?Monica:Yeah.. uh, but for future reference, that thing in your hand can also be used as a phone.(Chandler dials his own phone and it rings.)Chandler: Yes, it's working! Why isn't she calling me back?Joey: Maybe she never got your message.Phoebe: Y'know, if you want, you can call her machine, and if she has a lot of beeps, that means she probably didn't get her messages yet.Chandler: Y'don't think that makes me seem a little...Ross: ...desperate, needy, pathetic?Chandler: Ah, you obviously saw my personal ad.(He calls and quickly hangs up.)Phoebe: How many beeps?Chandler: She answered.Monica:Y'see, this is where you'd use that 'hello' word we talked about.Chandler:I'm not gonna talk to her, she obviously got my message and is choosing not to call me. Now I'm needy and snubbed. God, I miss just being needy.(Rachel enters.)All: Hey! Hi!Phoebe: How'd he take it?Rachel: Pretty well, actually... (Wandering into the kitchen.)Monica:(wandering in after her) Uh, Rach... how come you have dental floss in your hair?Rachel: Oh, do I?Monica: Uh huh.Rachel: (in a low voice) We ended up having sex in his chair.Monica: You had sex in his chair?!... I said that a little too loudly, didn't I?Ross: You-you had what?Phoebe: Sex in his chair.Ross: What, uh... what were you thinking?Rachel: I don't know! I mean, we still care about each other. There's a history there. 'S'like you and Carol.Ross: No! No no, it is nothing like me and Carol!Rachel:Please. If she said to you, "Ross, I want you on this couch, right here, right now," what would you say?(Ross flounders.)Chandler: If it helps, I could slide over.Ross: It's, it's, it's, uh, a totally diferent situation! It's, it's apples and oranges, it's, it's orthodontists and lesbi- I gotta go.Phoebe: Where are you going?Ross: (leaving) I just have to go, all right? Do I need a reason? Huh?I mean I have things to do with my life, I have a jam packed schedule, and I am late- for keeping up with it. Okay?(Ross exits, a phone rings, and Chandler dives for his phone.)Chandler: Hello? Hello?(Rachel picks up their phone and the ringing stops. As she talks on the phone, an elaborate visual gag is spun out which is too difficult to describe in words.)Rachel:(on phone) Hello?(Listens) Mindy! Hi! Hey, how are you? (Listens) Yes, yes, I've heard, congratulations, that is so great. (Listens) Really? (Listens) Oh. (Listens) Okay. Okay, well I'm working tomorrow, but if you want you can, you can, you can come by and... (Listens) Okay... (Listens) Great... (Listens) Great... (Listens) All right, so I'll, so I'll see you tomorrow! (Listens) Okay.. (Listens) Okay... (Listens) Bye. (Hangs up and sits down heavily.) Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.Chandler: So how's Mindy?Rachel:Oh, she wants to see me tomorrow...Oh, she sounded really weird, I gotta call Barry... (Does so, on phone) Hi, it's me, I just.. Mindy!! Mindy! Hi! No, I figured that's where you'd be!Commercial Break[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning. Chandler is sitting and staring at his phone. Monica enters and creeps up next to Chandler.]Monica: Brrrrrrr!(Chandler clutches at his phone before realising.)Chandler: Hell is filled with people like you.Joey: (entering) He's back! The peeper's back!(Rachel enters from her room.)Joey: (ducking) Get down!Rachel: Get down?Chandler: ...And boogie!Rachel: Thanks, but I gotta go to work and get my eyes scratched out by Mindy.Monica: Relax. Y'know, she may not even know.Rachel:Please. I haven't heard from her in seven months, and now she calls me? I mean, what else is it about? Oh! She was my best friend, you guys! We went to camp together... she taught me how to kiss..Joey: (intrigued) Yeah?Rachel:And now, y'know, I'm like... I'm like the other woman! I feel so..Joey: ..Naughty!Rachel: Right, I'll see you guys later...Joey:Oh, hold up, I'll walk out with you. Now, Rach, when she taught you to kiss, you were at camp, and.. were you wearing any kinda little uniform, or- (Rachel exits and slams the door in his face.) That's fine, yeah...(Joey exits.)Chandler: Okay, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Will you watch my phone?Monica: Why don't you just take it with you?Chandler:Hey, we haven't been on a second date, she needs to hear me pee?Monica: Why don't you just call her?Chandler: I can't call her, I left a message! I have some pride.Monica: Do you?Chandler: No! (Calls) Danielle, hi! It's, uh, it's Chandler! (Listens) I'm fine. Uh, listen, I don't know if you tried to call me, because, uh, idiot that I am, I accidentally shut off my phone. (Listens) Oh, uh, okay, that's fine, that's great. (Listens) Okay. (Puts down the phone.) (to Monica) She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back. (He starts doing a little jig.) She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back, she's on the other line, gonna call me back...Monica: Don't you have to pee?Chandler: 'S'why I'm dancing...[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is serving coffee as Mindy enters.]Rachel: Mindy.Mindy: Hey, you.Rachel: Hey, you.... So, what's up?Mindy: Um.. we should really be sitting for this.Rachel: Sure we should... So.Mindy:Now, I know things've been weird lately, but you're like my oldest friend in the world... Except for maybe Laurie Schaffer, who I don't talk to anywhere, 'cause she's all bitter now that she lost the weight and it turns out she doesn't have a pretty face. ....Okay, I'm just gonna ask you this once, and I want a straight answer.Rachel: Okay.Mindy: Will you be my maid of honour?Rachel: Of course!Mindy: Oh that's so great!Rachel: Was that all you wanted to ask me?Mindy: That's all!Rachel: Ohhhh!! (Mindy starts to sob.) ...What? What?Mindy: That's not all.Rachel: Oh sure it is!Mindy:Oh no, it isn't! No! I think Barry is seeing someone in the city.Rachel: Um, what- what would make you think that?Mindy: Well, ever since we announced the engagement, he's been acting really weird, and then last night, he came home smelling like Chanel.Rachel: (draws back) Really. Mindy, if it'll make you feel any better, when I was engaged to him he went through a whole weird thing too.Mindy: Oh God! You see, that's what I was afraid of!Rachel: What? What's what you were afraid of?Mindy:Okay, okay... when Barry was engaged to you, he and I...kind of... had a little thing on the side.Rachel: What?Mindy: I know. I know, and when he proposed to me, everyone said "Don't do it, he's just gonna do to you what he did to Rachel," and now I feel so stupid.Rachel: Uh... Oh, Mindy, you are so stupid. Oh, we are both so stupid.Mindy: What do you mean?Rachel: (offers her arm to Mindy and she sniffs) Smell familiar?Mindy: Oh no.Rachel: Oh, I am so sorry.Mindy: No me, I am so sorry...(They hug and Joey enters.)Joey: (watches them for a while) Oh my.[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Ross are doing a crossword, Monica is cooking, and Chandler is still staring at his phone.]Ross: Four letters: "Circle or hoop".Chandler: Ring dammit, ring!Ross: Thanks.Joey: (entering) Hey, you know our phone's not working?Chandler: What?!Joey:I tried to call you from the coffee shop, and there was no answer.Chandler:(investigating) I turned it off. Mother of God, I turned it off!Monica:Just like you told her you did! (Chandler glares at her.) ... Just pointing out the irony.Joey:Hey, so listen, I went across the street and talked to the doorman- I got the peeper's name! Can I use the phone?Chandler: Nngghhh!!!!!!!Joey: (to Monica) Can I use your phone? (On phone) Yeah, the number for a Sidney Marks, please.Ross: "Heating device."Phoebe: Radiator.Ross: Five letters.Phoebe: Rdtor.Joey: (on phone) Yeah, is Sidney there? (Listens) Oh, this is? (To the gang) Sidney's a woman.Monica: So she's a woman! So what?Joey: Yeah. Yeah, so what? (On phone) Look, I live across the street, (walking to the window) and I know all about you and your little telescope, and I don't appreciate it, okay? (Listens) Yeah, I can see you right now! (Listens) Hello! (Listens) If I wanna walk around my apartment in my underwear, I shouldn't have to feel like—(Listens)—Thank you, but... that's not really the point... (Listens) The point is that... (Listens) Mostly free weights, but occasionally..Monica: Joey!!Joey:(on phone) Yeah, my neighbor... (Listens) Yeah, the brunette... (to Monica) She says you looked very pretty the other day in the green dress.Monica: The green dress? Really?Joey: Yeah, she said you looked like Ingrid Bergman that day.Monica: (waves dismissively to Sidney) Nooo![Scene: Barry's Office, Barry is preparing his tools alone as Rachel enters.]Rachel: Hey. Got a second?Barry: Sure, sure. Come on... (Mindy enters) ...in...Mindy: Hello, sweetheart.Barry: Uh... uh... what're'you... what're'you guys doing here?Rachel: Uh, we are here to break up with you.Barry: Both of you?Mindy:Basically, we think you're a horrible human being, and bad things should happen to you.Barry: I'm sorry... I'm sorry, God, I am so sorry, I'm an idiot, I was weak, I couldn't help myself! Whatever I did, I only did because I love you so much!Rachel: Uh- which one of us are you talking to there, Barr?Barry: ....Mindy. Mindy, of course Mindy, it was always Mindy.Rachel: Even when we were having sex in that chair?Barry: (to Mindy) I swear, whatever I was doing, I was always thinking of you.Rachel:Please! During that second time you couldn't have picked her out of a lineup!Mindy: (to Rachel) You did it twice?Rachel: Well, the first time didn't really count... I mean, y'know, 's'Barry.Mindy: Okay...Barry: (to Mindy) Sweetheart, just gimme- gimme another chance, okay, we'll start all over again. We'll go back to Aruba.Bernice: (over intercom) Dr. Farber, we've got a bit of an emergency here...Jason Costalano is choking on his retainer.Barry:Oh God... (Into intercom) I'll be right there, Bernice. (to Mindy) Look, please, please don't go anywhere, okay? I'll be, I'll be right back.(Barry exits)Rachel: Okay. Okay, we'll be here! Hating you! Did you see how he was sweating when he walked out of there? Listen honey, if I'm hogging the ball too much you just jump right in there and take a couple punches because I'm telling you, this feels great.Mindy: Yeah... I'm pretty sure I'm still gonna marry him.Rachel: What are you talking about?! Mindy, the guy is the devil! He's Satan in a smock!Mindy:Look, I know he's not perfect, but the truth is, at the end of the day, I still really wanna be Mrs. Dr. Barry Farber, D.D.S.Rachel: Oh God.Mindy:I hope you can find some way to be happy for me. And I hope you'll still be my maid of honor...?Rachel: And I hope Barry doesn't kill you and eat you in Aruba.[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are there.]Monica: You okay?Rachel: Yeah.Monica: Really?Rachel:Yeah! Y'know, ever since I ran out on Barry at the wedding, I have wondered whether I made the right choice. And now I know.Monica: Aww... (They hug)(Joey enters and looks on approvingly.)Joey: Big day.Closing Credits[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there.]Joey: All right, I'll give you this, Mr. Peanut is a better dresser. I mean he's got the monocle, he's got the top hat...Phoebe: You know he's gay?Ross: I just wanna clarify this: are you outing Mr. Peanut?Danielle: (entering) Chandler?Chandler: Danielle! Hi! Uh- everybody, this is Danielle, Danielle, everybody.All: Hi. Hi.Chandler: What are you doing here?Danielle:Well, I've been calling you, but it turns out I had your number wrong. And when I finally got the right one from Information, there was no answer. So I thought I'd just come down here, and make sure you were okay.Chandler: ...I'm, I'm okay.Danielle: Listen uh, maybe we could get together later?Chandler: That sounds good. I'll call you- or you call me, whatever...Danielle: You got it.Chandler: Okay.Danielle: G'bye, everybody.All: Bye.Phoebe: Whoo-hoo!Monica: Yeah, there you go!Ross: Second date!Chandler: ...I dunno.Rachel: You don't know?!Chandler:Well, she seems very nice and everything, but that whole thing about her coming all the way down here, just to see if I was okay? I mean,... how needy is that?(They all groan and hit him..)End。
【英语学习资料】老友记字幕Word版第一季第二十二集
-告诉他 -就告诉他嘛- Tell him. - Just tell him.-闭嘴 -告诉我什么- Shut up. - Tell me what?你看你连正眼看他都不敢Look at you, you won't even look at him.就告诉我吧Oh, come on tell me.下回有女人不肯看我我也好有新理由I could use another reason why women won't look at me. 好吧好吧昨晚我梦见All right. All right. Last night, I had a dream that uh...我和你...that you and I were在这桌上做爱doing it on this table.梦里干的不错嘛Excellent dream score.你怎会有这种梦Why would you dream that?最重要的是More importantly...我棒吗...was I any good?简直是棒极了Well, you were pretty damn good.真有意思在我梦中我非常力不从心Interesting. Cause in my dreams, I'm surprisingly inadequate. 昨晚你在这桌上的表现完美无缺Last night, you seemed to know your way around the table. 真高兴能与你们分享I love it when we share.你没事吧You okay there?我不敢相信你会在她梦中做爱I can't believe you two had sex in her dream.抱歉仅此一次I'm sorry, it was a one-time thing.我醉得不省人事而且这不是我的潜意识I was very drunk, and it was someone else's subconscious.你好呀瑞秋Hello, Rachel.下去Get off.给我你们能想像我操作钻床的样子吗Ooh, give me. Can you see me operating a drill press?不知道你当时穿什么I don't know. What are you wearing?菲比你为何想操作钻床Phoebe, why would you want to operate a drill press? 只是暂时的工作Just for some short-term-work.直到我找回一部分前按摩客户You know, until I get back some of my massage clients. 又是海盗吗Pirates again?不根本不贴边No. Nothing like that.我真是个大笨蛋I'm just such a dummy.我教他们"自己在家动手做按摩"I taught a "Massage Yourself at Home" workshop.结果他们就不来了And they are.嗨钱德勒她可以为你工作Hey, Chan, she could work for you.谢了乔伊这是个好主意Thanks, Joey. That's a good idea.我可以我来吧什么工作I could. I could do it. What is it?我秘书这几周无法来上班My secretary's gonna be out for a couple of weeks.她去给一侧乳房动消乳手术She's having one of her boobs reduced.一言难尽的波霸故事It's a whole big boob story.我可以当个秘书I could be a secretary.菲比我不知你是否是这块料Phoebes, I don't know if it's your kinda thing...因为这份工作需要你大部分时间... because it involves a lot being normal尽可能保持正常for a large portion of the day.我能办到I could do that.-你玩什么呢 -我的新传呼机-What are you playing with? -It's my new beeper.古生物学家要那玩意儿干嘛What the hell does a paleontologist need a beeper for? 以防恐龙紧急事件救命啊快来Is it like for dinosaur emergencies? Help. come quick, 他们还是绝种了They're still extinct.不是为卡罗尔生产买的No. It's for when Carol goes into labor.好让她随时联系到我She can get me wherever I am.她只需拨号55-金宝All she has to do is dial 55-Jimbo.{\an3\fs16\bord0\fn微软雅黑\fad(0,0)\b0\pos(374,247)}Jimbo在美国俚语中指"不请自来的人"这号码真酷还能当孩子的名字A cool number and a possible name for the kid.-各位回头见了 -去见小伊森吗- All right, I'll see you guys later. - Off to see young Ethan?谢谢Thank you.伊森到底有多小很小吗How young is young Ethan? Young?年纪和我们差不多He's our age.当我们还是When we were...-他是大学四年级学生 -大学- He's a senior in college. - College?这位小朋友不在乎你的年纪吗This man-child has no problem with how old you are?当然不在乎这根本不是问题No, of course not. It's not even an issue...因为我告诉他我22岁...because I told him I was 22.-你什么 -什么- You what? - What?-我不像22岁吗 -25 26还说得过去- Oh, I can't pass for 22? - Well, maybe 25, 26.-我本来就26 -那就对啦- I am 26. - There you go.-听见没 -听见了- Can you hear that? - Yeah.知道不拿起电话就不会响了You see, that'll stop when you pick up the phone. -我来了 -好的- Oh, I'm on. - Okay.宾先生办公室Mr. Bing's office.抱歉他正在开会.No, I'm Sorry, he's in a meeting right now.我没在开会我在...I'm not in a meeting. I'm right... Whoops.他知道这件事吗Will he know what this is in reference to?他有你的号码吗And he has your number?好我会转告他的再见I'll see that he gets the message. Bye-bye.罗斯打来问候的Ross says hi.真好玩好了我们现在做什么This is so fun. All right. What do we do now?现在我得开始工作了Well, now I actually have to get to work."可能吧""Most likely."好了我出去了Okay, I'm gonna be out there.好的再见All right. Bye-bye.再见Bye-bye.-什么事 -你在干嘛- Yes? - What you doing?窗户擦好了蜡烛点上了Okay, windows are clean. Candles are lit.皮带太紧我得去换一条Belt's too tight. Gotta change the belt.鱼翻过没没因为我做的意大利面Did I turn the fish? Nope, because I made lasagna.-我有没有失控 -有一点点- Am I out of control? - Just a touch.莫妮卡我不明白Mon, I don't understand.你跟这个男生从他期中考试后I mean, you've been dating this guy since like, what...谈到现在... his midterms.为什么突然Why, all of a sudden, are you so...?-我怎么了 -今晚会是销魂一夜吗- What? - Could tonight be the night?我不知道他是个好男孩I don't know. He's a great guy...我喜欢和他在一起但是很难说...and I love being with him. But, you know...只能顺其自然无法预先计划好...things happen when they happen. You don't plan these things. -腿毛刮了没 -刮了- So, did you shave your legs? - Yeah.罗斯别纠结了这只是一场梦Would you let it go, Ross? It was just a dream.不代表...It doesn't mean时候到了宝宝要出世了This is it. Oh my God! It's baby time! Baby time!放轻松冷静点别紧张All right, relax. Just relax. Be cool.对刚有人呼我Yeah, hi. I was just beeped.不安卓不在这今天呼错三次了No, Andre is not here. Third time today.对我确定Yes, I am sure.不先生我不提供那些服务No, sir, I do not perform those kind of services.服务Services?懂了服务嘛Oh, services.对你要呼的是55-劲爆Yeah, you want 55-Jumbo.{\an3\fs16\bord0\fn微软雅黑\fad(0,0)\b0\pos(374,247)}jumbo是庞然大物的意思没错That's right.没错是劲爆不是金宝先生That's right. JUMBO with a "U," sir.不相信我你不会想要我的No, belive me, You don't want me.从他的号码看来你看到我会大失所望Judging by his number, I'd be a huge disappointment. 好吧再见了Alrighty, bye-bye.第一天上班如何How was the first day?太棒了每个人都非常非常好Excellent. Everyone was so, so nice.瞧认识我这种职位的人多沾光It pays to know the man who wears my shoes.说的是我Me.不我没告诉任何人我认识你No. I didn't tell anyone I knew you.-为什么 -因为你懂的- Why not? - Well, because, you know.他们并不喜欢你They don't like you.-什么 -我以为你早知道- What? - I thought you knew that.-谁不喜欢我 -每个人- No, who doesn't like me? - Everyone.除了Except for....不每个人No. Everyone.-你在说什么啊 -别难过- What are you talking about? - Don't feel bad.他们过去都很喜欢你They used to like you a lot.自从你升职后But then you got promoted, and, you know,他们感觉你是上司大人物now you're like Mr. Boss Man. you know, Mr. Big. 宾先生宾大老板Mr. Bing. Boss Man Bing.-真不敢相信 -他们甚至还模仿你- I can't believe it. - Yeah. They even do you.模仿我They "do" me?对比如这样You know, like, okay:报告要"何时"才能交来"Could that report be any later?"-我没有那样说话 -你有的- I don't sound like that. - Yeah, you do.这山谷回荡着美妙的"The hills are alive with the sound..."音乐"声...of music."我的烤饼 "我"的烤饼"My scone. My scone."我没那样说话这绝"不"是真的I don't sound like that. That is so not true."不"是这样 "不"是这样That is so not... That is so not...这闭嘴吧That Oh, shut up.-不会吧 -告诉你我到九岁时- Did not. - I'm telling you, up until I was 9...还以为"枪口"就是真实存在的犯罪现场... I thought "gunpoint" was an actual place where crimes happened. -怎么会 -新闻老是报导犯罪事件- How's that possible? - Well, think about it. It's always on the news. 某人在"枪口"下"A man is being held up at Gunpoint."惊慌的观光客在"枪口"下"Tourists are terrorized at Gunpoint."我一直在想怎么还有人去那儿And I kept thinking, "Why do people continue to go there?"-我该走了 -好- I should go. - Ok.-除非 -什么- Unless. - What?除非你要在这儿过夜Unless you wanna stay over.我反正要在这过夜不如I mean, I'm going to. So....是啊这样再好不过Yeah, I'd really like that.在我们考虑留宿的事宜之前Before we get into any staying-over stuff...我有些事情必须告诉你...there's something you should know.是"我明天一早有课"之类的Ok. Is this, like, "I have an early class tomorrow"...还是"我与山羊秘密结婚了"...or "I'm secretly married to a goat"?在这两者之间Well, it's somewhere in between.就严格技术层面而言当然我还没You see, in a strictly technical sense, of course, I'm not.... 我是说我还没有Well, I mean, I haven't ever....-伊森 -在- Ethan? - Yeah.你是处男吗Are you a virgin?如果你们这些孩子现在这样称呼的话If that's what you kids are calling it these days, then... 对我是个处男...yes, I am.我大概一直在等待适合的人I've kind of been waiting for the right person.-真的吗 -真的- Really? - Yeah.你知道我是在指你吧You do know I was talking about you, right?你一直喔个不停You keep saying that.你懂的你在杂志上看过在电影里看过You know, you read about it. You see it in the movies. 甚至在家里练习过可是天啊Even when you practice it at home, man, oh, man... 这感觉实在没得比...it is nothing like that.听着听着Listen, listen.你对我坦白了一件难以启齿的事You told me something that was really difficult for you. 我想如果你能坦诚相对那我也能And I figure if you can be honest, then I can too.天啊别告诉我刚才做错了Oh, God. Don't tell me I did it wrong.不那件事你做得非常完美No, no, no. Nothing wrong about that.好我说了Ok, Here goes.我不是22岁I'm not 22.我是25岁I'm 25...零13个月...and 13 months.但是我想我们的关系不会因此变掉But I figure, you know, that shouldn't change anything. 年龄根本就不是距离对吧I mean, what the hell does it matter how old we are? 听着Listen...在你坦承之际...as long as we're telling stuff...我也有话要说... I have another one for you.我比你所知的年纪还小I'm a little younger than I said.-你不是四年级生吗 -我是四年级- You're not a senior? - Oh, I'm a senior...高中四年级...in high school.我们不应该这样What we did was wrong.天啊我刚和一个God, I just had sex with不到二十岁的小屁孩做爱了someone who wasn't alive during the bicentennial.{\an3\fs16\bord0\fn微软雅黑\fad(0,0)\b0\pos(374,247)}bicentennial指美国独立二百周年我刚做爱了I just had sex.伊森注意听你为何不早告诉我Ethan, focus. How could you not tell me?-你也没告诉我你真实年龄 -那不一样- You never tell me how old you are. - It's different.我撒的谎不会让我们在48个州获重罪My lie didn't make one of us a felon in 48 states.{\an3\fs16\bord0\fn微软雅黑\fad(0,0)\b0\pos(374,247)}美国法律规定与未成年人发生关系要判重罪-你到底在想什么 -我什么都没想- What were you thinking? - I wasn't thinking.-我只是忙于 -不要说- I was too busy falling... - Don't say it.爱上你...in love with you.-真的吗 -对不起- Really? - Sorry.好吧别再爱我了Well, fall out of it.你都不该在这你该在学校过夜的You shouldn't be here. It's a school night.天啊Oh, God.我就像是那种I'm like those women that you see...专门勾引小帅哥的女人...with shiny guys named Chad.我成了琼·柯琳斯I'm Joan Collins.{\an3\fs16\bord0\fn微软雅黑\fad(0,0)\b0\pos(374,247)}作风随便的英国性感女星谁Who?好安卓45分钟后就会到Ok. Andre should be there in about 45 minutes.就这样再见Alrighty. Bye-bye.这样省事多了It's just easier that way.说吧你昨晚的梦都告诉我了Come on. You told me about the last dream.不忘了吧No. Forget it.为什么难道是梦中的我对你过于粗鲁Why not? Was I doing something particularly saucy? 好吧我说All right. Fine.梦中不仅仅你在场You were not the only one there.乔伊也在场Joey was there too.好的All right.那Was there...还有其他人吗...anybody else there?-没有 -你确定没有人...- No. - You sure? Nobody...发发薄荷糖啥的... handing out mints or anything?没有只有我们三个No, it was just the three of us.说说看是你跟钱德勒做完So, tell me. Was it like you and Chandler,然后跟我做还是我们三个同时...and then you and me, or you, me and Chandler? -你知道吗 -什么- You know what? - What?有几次There were times...我都没有参与...when it wasn't even me.真甜蜜伙计们That is so sweet, you guys.莫妮卡伊森又来电话了Mon, Ethan called again.-莫妮卡 -莫妮卡- Mon? - Mon！-干嘛 -伊森又来电话了- What? - Ethan called again.-你不再见他了吗 -对- You're not seeing him anymore? - No.有时候有些问题无法解决Sometimes, things don't work out.这跟他需要假条才能翘掉体育课无关吗This has nothing to do with him needing a note to get out of gym?我没说什么都没说我发誓I, I didn't say any... I sw... I did not say anything. I swear.-他听到的 -听着下回见到他时- He stopped by. - Listen, next time you talk to him...能问问《恐龙战队》中最强的是谁吗...could you ask him which one the strongest Power Ranger is?{\an3\fs16\bord0\fn微软雅黑\fad(0,0)\b0\pos(374,247)}据日本同类型题材改编的美版恐龙战队我的生活真是太精彩了换个话题行吗Oh, my life is just so amusing. Can we drop it now?对不起Sorry.{\an3\fs16\bord0\fn微软雅黑\fad(0,0)\b0\pos(374,247)}恐龙战队台词墨菲时间到了"It's morphin'time."-暴龙 -剑龙- Stegosaurus. - Tyrannosaurus.我得走了I gotta go.天脑充血Head rush.再一次我真得走了One more, and then I have to go.酷Cool.你要上哪儿去Where you going?我要和几个同事去参加生日会I got a birthday party with some work people.同事吗没人跟我说Work people? Nobody told me.我知道这都是因为No, I know. That's part of the whole...他们不喜欢你所造成的...you know, them-not-liking-you extravaganza.你来说说我真不明白You know what, I don't get this.一个月前他们都是我朋友A month ago, these people were my friends.我当上了主管并不代表我会变成另一个人You know, just I'm in charge doesn't mean I'm a different person.那你今晚该来Well, then you should come tonight.和他们多相处You know, just hang out with them.让他们知道你还是个大好人Let them see what a great guy you still are.-你认为我该去 -真心的你该去- You think I should? - I really do. Yeah.-那好 -走吧- Ok. - Ok.我们能不一起去吗But could we not go together?我不想成为邀请上司的怪人I don't wanna be the geek who invited the boss.昨晚真是太棒了I think last night was great.我和崔西合唱了首《乌木与象牙》You know, the Karaoke thing. Tracy and I doing Ebony and Ivory. 你表现得很好You were great.但大家仍然取笑你But they still made fun of you.-什么 -你现在成了"假惺惺"老板- What? - You know, now you're more like, Mr. Caring Boss."套近乎"老板Mr. I'm-one-of-you Boss."称兄道弟"宾大老板Mr. I-wanna-be-your-buddy Boss Man Bing.我真是想不通Then I don't get it.你知道吗钱德勒你得面对现实You know what Chandler? I think you just gotta face it. 你坐在这间大办公室里You're like the guy in the big office.有权录取他们也有权开除他们You're the one that hires and fires them.-他们说你还是个好上司 -是吗- They still say you're a great boss. - They do?但是他们不再是你的朋友Uh uh. But they're not your friends anymore.-我只是想 -但你不能- I just want - But you can't.但我只是想But I just want你不是要去...Aren't you gonna?卡罗尔和我定了新暗号Carol and I have a new system.如果她打911If she punches in 9-1-1...就代表她将生产否则我就根本不理会it means she's having a baby. Otherwise, I just ignore it.那安卓呢What about Andre?早上他接到个电话Oh, well this morning he got a call from我觉得是表弟纳森打来的who I think was our cousin Nathan,老实说我知道太多内幕了and frankly, it was a little more than I needed to know.-嗨 -我本打算这么说的-Hi. - That was gonna be my opener.你们看过洗手间里的新烘手机没Hey, did you guys check out those new hand dryers in the bathroom? -我以为那只是谣传 -千真万确- I thought that was just a rumor. - True story.行了我得和你谈谈All right. Look, I gotta tell you something.我不是17岁I'm not 17.我这样说是为了让你觉得我可爱惹人怜I only said that so you'd think I was cute and vulnerable.其实我今年30I'm actually 30.娶了老婆有正经工作是个国会议员I have a wife and a job. I'm your congressman.莫妮卡这太荒谬了我们多般配Monica, this is ridiculous. We're great together.我们聊天说笑做爱也很协调We can talk, we make each other laugh, and the sex....我虽然经验不多但一切是那么完美I have no frame of reference, but I thought that was great. -的确是 -那问题在哪儿- It was. - Then what's the problem?伊森这太Ethan, it's....倒人胃口It's icky."倒人胃口""Icky"?就因为"倒人胃口"你就想放弃吗You're actually gonna throw this away because it's "icky"? 我也很难过我多希望情况不是这样This isn't easy for me either. I wish things were different.如果你年长几岁或者我年轻几岁If you were a few years older or I was a few years younger...或是我们生活在圣经时代...or we lived in biblical times...-我就可以... -不不要说- ...I could really - No, don't say it.爱你Love you.-你的手还没干是吧 -还是湿的- Are your hands still wet? - Moist.那我们再去烘一次Let's dry them again.或者是这些鸡尾酒"能"再烈一点吗Or like, "Could these margaritas be any stronger?" 你好钱德勒Hey, Chandler.你好宾先生Hello, Mr. Bing.你昨晚唱的史提夫·汪达那首歌真好听Loved your Stevie Wonder last night.谢谢听着有关周数据的事Thanks. Listen, about the weekly numbers,九点"之"前请送到我办公室来I'm gonna need them on my desk by 9:00.-好的 -没问题- Sure. - No problem.总得给他们些话题嘛You have to give them something.刚刚是格斯顿山托斯That was Gerston, Santos,留胡子的那个叫什么and who's the guy with the moustache? -派崔 -派崔对- Petrie. - Petrie. Right, okay.看来这周末得有人Well, some people are gonna be working... "加"班了...this weekend.真好Oh, that's nice.罗斯Ross.罗斯Ross.我在这里I'm here.你在吗You are?我们刚在We were just....什么What?-这下可好我有宝宝了 -什么- Great. Now I'm having a baby. - What?我要有宝宝了我要有一个I'm having a baby. I'm having a-电话电话在哪 -不在我这- The phone, the phone. - I don't have the phone.-罗斯 -我受伤了-Ross? - I'm hurt.莫妮卡快走各位快点她要生了Mon, Let's go. Come on, people. Woman in labor.罗斯看我这样子Ross, Look what I've got going here.坐车时再闹吧行不Save it for the cab. Ok?你在干什么我们要去医院What are you doing? We're going to a hospital.我不能打扮漂亮吗说不定有帅医生What, so I can't look nice? There might be doctors there. -乔伊别翻冰箱了 -好吧- Joey, get out of the fridge. - All right.-那是干嘛的 -路上吃的- What is that? - For the ride.-比如坐车的时候 -忍着- Like in a cab - Save it.-真讨厌 -莫妮卡快该走了- Hating this. - Monica, come on. Let's go.宝宝就要出世了Baby coming.我真不敢相信我要当姑姑了I can't believe I'm gonna be an aunt.-我要有侄子了 -真感人走吧- I'll have like a nephew. - That's nice. Get out. 行啦我在走我在走All right, I'm going. I'm going.走吧赶紧Here we go. Come on.。
Friends老友记第一季第18集 - All The Poker
The One With All The PokerWritten by: Jeffrey Astrof and Mike Sikowitz. .Transcribed by: Dan Silverstein.Special thanks to Nancy Brown, who pointed out that 'crudites' is not French. :)(The whole gang is helping Rachel mail out resumes while whistling the theme from The Bridge on the River Kwai.)Ross: Uh, Rach, we're running low on resumes over here.Monica: Do you really want a job with Popular Mechanics?Chandler: Well, if you're gonna work for mechanics, those are the ones to work for.Rachel: Hey, look, you guys, I'm going for anything here, OK? I cannot be a waitress anymore, I mean it. I'm sick of the lousy tips, I'm sick of being called 'Excuse me...'Ross: Rach, did you proofread these?Rachel: Uh... yeah, why?Ross: Uh, nothing, I'm sure they'll be impressed with your excellent compuper skills.Rachel: (upset) Oh my Goood! Oh, do you think it's on all of them? Joey: Oh no, I'm sure the Xerox machine caught a few.Opening Credits[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler are sitting at a table. Rachel is working. Monica and Phoebe enter.]Monica: Hey, guys.Chandler and Ross: Hey.Rachel: Hey... hi, ladies... uh, can I get you anything? (to Monica, quietly): Did you bring the mail?Monica: Lots of responses.Rachel: (to Monica): Really? (out loud): Sure, we have scones left! (to Monica): OK, read them to me.Phoebe:(reading): Dear Ms. Green, thank you for your inquiry, however... oh... (crumples up letter)Rachel: (out loud): We have apple cinnamon...Monica: (reading): OK... Dear Ms. Green... yeah... yeah... yeah... No. (crumpes up letter)Phoebe: Wow!Rachel: What?Phoebe: (reading): Your Visa bill is huge!Rachel: (grabs the bill) Give me that!(Camera cuts to Chandler and Ross at table.)Chandler:You know, I can't believe you. Linda is so great! Why won't you go out with her again?Ross: I don't know.Chandler:Is this still about her whole 'The Flintstones could've really happened' thing?Ross: No, it's not just that. It's just—I want someone who... who does something for me, y'know? Who gets my heart pounding, who... who makes me, uh... (begins to stare lovingly at Rachel)Chandler: ...little playthings with yarn?Ross: What?Chandler: Could you want her more?Ross: Who?Chandler:(sarcastically) Dee, the sarcastic sister from Whats Happening.Ross: Look, I am totally, totally over her, OK, I just... (Rachel comes over, Ross lays head on table): Hiiii!Rachel: Hi! How are you?Ross: We're fine, we're fine.Rachel: OK. (walks away)(Ross keeps staring at her, head on table. Chandler smacks him with a newspaper. Joey enters, Ross and Chandler laugh at him.)Joey: Shut up!Chandler: We're not—we're not saying anything.Phoebe: What?Ross: Uhhhh... Joey cried last night.Joey: Thank you.Chandler: (to the girls) We were playing poker, alright...Joey:There was chocolate on the three. It looked like an eight, alright? Ross: Oh, guys, you should've seen him. 'Read 'em and weep.' Chandler: And then he did.Rachel: Well, now, how come you guys have never played poker with us?Phoebe:Yeah, what is that? Like, some kind of guy thing? Like, some kind of sexist guy thing? Like it's poker, so only guys can play?Ross: No, women are welcome to play.Phoebe:Oh, OK, so then what is it? Some kind of... you know, like, like... some kind of, y'know, like... alright, what is it?Chandler: There just don't happen to be any women in our games.Joey: Yeah, we just don't happen to know any women that know how to play poker.Girls: Oh, yeah, right.Monica: Oh, please, that is such a lame excuse!Rachel: Really.Monica: I mean, that's a typical guy response.Ross: Excuse me, do any of you know how to play?Girls: No.Rachel: But you could teach us.Guys: No.[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the guys are teaching the girls how to play poker.]Chandler: (teaching) OK, so now we draw cards.Monica: So I wouldn't need any, right? Cause I have a straight.Rachel: Oh, good for you!Phoebe: Congratulations!(Microwave timer goes off. Monica gets up.)Chandler: OK Phoebs, how many do you want?Phoebe:OK, I just need two... the, um, ten of spades and the six of clubs.Ross: No. No, uh, Phoebs? You can't—you can't do...Rachel: Oh wait, I have the ten of spades! Here! (gives it to Phoebe)Ross: No, no. Uh... no, see, uh, you-you can't do that.Rachel: Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no, that's OK, I don't need them. I'm going for fours.Ross: Oh, you're... (gives up)(Monica comes back to the table with plates of food.)Monica: Alright, here we go. We've got salmon roulettes and assorted crudites.Phoebe and Rachel: OOooooo!Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Monica, what're you doin'? This is a poker game. You can't serve food with more than one syllable. It's gotta be like chips, or dip, or pretz...(look of realization)Chandler: (changing subject) OK, so at this point, the dealer...Monica:Alright, you know, we got it, we got it. Let's play for real. High stakes... big bucks...Ross: Alright, now, you sure? Phoebe just threw away two jacks because they didn't look happy...Phoebe: But... I'm ready, so, just deal.Chandler:OK, alright, last minute lesson, last minute lesson. (holds up two cards) Joey... three... eight. Eight... three. (Joey is unamused) Alright babe, deal the cards.(Time lapse.)Monica: (throws down her cards) Dammit, dammit, dammit!Phoebe: (to Joey): Oh I see, so then, you were lying.Joey: About what?Phoebe: About how good your cards were.Joey: Heh... I was bluffing.Phoebe:A-ha! And... what is bluffing? Is it not another word for... lying?Rachel:OK, sorry to break up this party, but I've got resumes to fax before work tomorrow... (gets up to leave)Guys: Whoa, whoa, whoa!Chandler: Rach, Rach, we gotta settle.Rachel: Settle what?Chandler: The... Jamestown colony of Virginia. You see, King George is giving us the land, so...Ross: The game, Rachel, the game. You owe us money for the game.Rachel: Oh. Right.Joey: You know what, you guys? It's their first time, why don't we just forget about the money, alright?Monica: Hell no, we'll pay!Phoebe: OK, Monica? I had another answer all ready.Monica: And you know what? We want a rematch.Ross: Well that's fine with me. Could use the money.Rachel:(to Ross): So basically, you get your ya-yas by taking money from all of your friends.Ross: (pause)...Yeah.Chandler:Yes, and I get my ya-yas from Ikea. You have to put them together yourself, but they cost a little less.Ross: Look, Rachel, this is poker. I play to win, alright? In order for me to win, other people have to lose. So if you're gonna play poker with me, don't expect me to be a 'nice guy,' OK? Cause once those cards are dealt... (claps hands three times)Joey: (pause)...Yeah?Ross: I'm not a nice guy.[Scene: Ross' apartment. Chandler and Joey are there. Ross enters with a pizza.]Ross: Alright boys, let's eat.Chandler: Oh, did you get that from the 'I Love Rachel' pizzeria?Ross: You still on that?Chandler: Oh, come on. What was with that whole Black Bart speech? (mimicking): "When I play poker, I'm not a nice guy!"Ross: You are way off, pal.Joey: No, I don't think so, see Ross, because I think you love her.Ross: Um.... no. See, I might've had feelings for her at one time—not any more. I just—I...(Marcel makes a screeching noise in background.)Ross: Marcel! Where are you going with that disc?(Marcel puts a CD in the player.)Ross: You are not putting that on again! Marcel, OK—if you press that button, you are in very, very big trouble.(The Lion Sleeps Tonight starts to play. Marcel starts to dance.) [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe are there.] Rachel: (opening mail) Can you believe what a jerk Ross was being? Monica: Yeah, I know. He can get really competitive.Phoebe: Ha. Ha, ha.Monica: What?Phoebe: Oh, hello, kettle? This is Monica. You're black.Monica: Please! I am not as bad as Ross.Rachel: Oh, I beg to differ. The Pictionary incident?Monica: That was not an incident! I-I was gesturing, a-and the plate slipped out of my hand.Rachel:Oooooh. (reads letter) (surprised): Oh! I got an interview! I got an interview!Monica: You're kidding! Where? Where?Rachel: (in disbelief): Sak's... Fifth... Avenue.Monica: Oh, Rachel!Phoebe: Oh, it's like the mother ship is calling you home.Monica: Well, what's the job?Rachel: Assistant buyer. Oh! I would be shopping... for a living!(Knock on door.)Monica: OK, look. That is Aunt Iris. This woman has been playing poker since she was five. You gotta listen to every word she says. (opens door) Hi!Aunt Iris: Is Tony Randall dead?Rachel: No.Monica: I don't think so.Rachel: Why?Aunt Iris: Well, he may be now, because I think I hit him with my car.Monica: What?Rachel: Oh my God!Monica: Really?Aunt Iris: No! That's bluffing. Lesson number one. (walks into kitchen) Let me tell you something... everything you hear at a poker game is pure crap. (to Phoebe): Nice earrings.Phoebe: Thank y... (thinks about it)Aunt Iris: Girls, sit down.Monica: Uh, Aunt Iris? This is Phoebe, and that's Rachel...Aunt Iris: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, listen, I am parked at a meter. Let's do it.[Scene: Ross's apartment, everyone but Rachel is seated around his table. The Lion Sleep Tonight plays in the background.]Phoebe: Ross, could we please, please, please listen to anything else?(Ross shuts off the CD player. Marcel runs into the bedroom and slams the door.)Ross: I'm gonna pay for that tonight.(Knock on door. Ross opens it. Rachel enters.)Rachel: Hi!Ross: Hey.Rachel: Guys! Guess what, guess what, guess what, guess what!Chandler: Um, ok... the... the fifth dentist caved and now they're all recommending Trident?Rachel: Noooo... the interview! She loved me! She absolutely loved me. We talked for like two and a half hours, we have the same taste in clothes, and—oh, I went to camp with her cousin... And, oh, the job is perfect.I can do this. I can do this well!All: That's great! That's wonderful!Rachel: Oh God, oh, and then she told the funniest story...Monica: OK, great. You'll tell us and we'll laugh. Let's play poker.Joey: Alright now listen, you guys, we talked about it, and if you don't want to play, we completely understand.Chandler:Oh yes, yes, we could play some other game... like, uh, I don't know... Pictionary?(The guys all duck under the table.)Monica:Ha, ha, very funny, very funny. But I think we'd like to give poker another try. Shall we, ladies?Phoebe and Rachel: Yes, we should. I think we should.Ross: Uh, Rach, do you want me to shuffle those?Rachel: No, no, thats OK. Y'know, I think I'm gonna give it a go.Rachel: Alright... (shuffles cards expertly, all the guys stare in amazement)Commercial Break[Scene: Ross's Apartment, continued from earlier.]Ross: So, Phoebs owes $7.50, Monica, you owe $10, and Rachel, you owe fifteen big ones.Joey:But hey, thanks for teachin' us Cross-Eyed Mary. You guys, we gotta play that at our regular game.Phoebe: Alright, here's my $7.50. (Hands them the money) But I think you should know that this money is cursed.Joey: What?Phoebe: Oh, I cursed it. So now bad things will happen to he who spends it.Chandler: That's alright, I'll take it. Bad things happen to me anyway. This way I can break 'em up with a movie.Ross: Well, that just leaves the big Green poker machine, who owes fifteen...Rachel: Mmm-hmmm. Oh, so typical. Ooo, I'm a man. Ooo, I have a penis. Ooo, I have to win money to exert my power over women. (hands over her money)Monica: You know what? This is not over. We will play you again, and we will win, and you will lose, and you will beg, and we will laugh, and we will take every last dime you have, and you will hate yourselves forever.Rachel: Hmm. Kinda stepped on my point there, Mon.[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there ready for another poker game.]Ross:So, you gals wanna hand over your money now? That way, we don't have to go through the formality of actually playing.Rachel:Ooooh, that's fine. We'll see who has the last laugh there, monkey boy.Monica:OK, we done with the chit-chat? Are we ready to play some serious poker?Phoebe:(holding a card and waving it in front of her face) Hey you guys, look, the one-eyed jack follows me wherever I go. (they look at her) Right, OK, serious poker.(Ross gets up from the table.)Monica: Excuse me, where are you going?Ross: Uh... to the bathroom.Monica: Do you want to go to the bathroom, or do you wanna play poker?Ross: I want to go to the bathroom. (exits)Joey: Alright, well, I'm gonna order a pizza. (gets up)Rachel: Oh no-no-no-no-no, I'm still waiting to hear from that job and the store closes at nine, so you can eat then.Joey: That's fine. I'll just have a Tic-Tac to hold me over.Monica: Alright, Cincinnati, no blinds, everybody ante. (deals cards)Phoebe: (looks at her cards) Yes! (everyone looks at her) .... or no.(Ross comes back from bathroom.)Ross: Alright. (to Rachel): Your money's mine, Green.Rachel: Your fly is open, Geller. (he checks it, and zips up)(Time lapse.)Phoebe: You guys, you know what I just realized? 'Joker' is 'poker' with a 'J.' Coincidence?Chandler: Hey, that's... that's 'joincidence' with a 'C'!Joey: Uh... Phoebe? Phoebe?Phoebe: Yeah. Um... I'm out. (throws in cards)Rachel: I'm in.Monica: Me too.Joey: Me too. Alright, whattaya got.Ross:Well, you better hop outta the shower, cause... I gotta flush. (lays down cards)Rachel:Well, well, well, hop back in bucko, cause I got four sixes! (lays down cards) I won! I actually won! Oh my God! Y'know what? (collects chips) I think I'm gonna make a little Ross pile. (holds up a chip) I think that one was Ross's, and I think—oh—that one was Ross's. Yes! (Starts singing): Well, I have got your money, and you'll never see it...(Ross stands up.)Rachel: And your fly's still open...(Ross looks down.)Rachel: Ha, I made you look....(Time lapse.)Rachel: I couldn't be inner. Monica?Phoebe: Monica, in or out?Monica: (slams down cards) I hate this game!(Joey slides a plate away from Monica towards Chandler, who hides it under the table.)Phoebe: OK Joey, your bet.Joey: Ahhh, I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face. (the girls look at him, confused) Oh, I'm out.Phoebe: Ross?Ross: Oh, I am very in.Phoebe: Chandler?Chandler: Couldn't be more out. (throws in cards)Phoebe: Me too. Rachel.Rachel: Uh, I will see you... and I'll raise you. (throws chips in pot) What do you say... want to waste another buck?Ross: No, not this time. (he folds) So... what'd you have?Rachel: I'm not telling. (collects chips)Ross:Come on, show them to me. (reaches for her cards, Rachel covers them up)Rachel: No..!Ross: Show them to me!Rachel: Get your hands out of there! No!Ross: Let me see! Show them!Chandler: Y'know, I've had dates like this.Rachel: (deals new hand) Boy, you really can't stand to lose, can you? Your whole face is getting red... little veins popping out on your temple...Phoebe: Plus that shirt doesn't really match those pants.(Ross is visibly upset.)Ross: First of all, I'm not losing...Rachel: Oh, you are losing. Definitely losing. (phone rings)Ross: Let's not talk about losing. Just deal the...Rachel: (answering phone) Hel-lo, Rachel Green.Ross: (mimicking Rachel) Mee mee, mee-mee mee.Rachel: (on phone) Excuse me. (covers up phone; to Ross) It's about the job.(Rachel walks into kitchen to talk on the phone.)Rachel: Barbara! Hi, how are you? (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) No, I understand. Yeah. Oh, oh, come on, no, I'm fine. Don't be silly. Yeah... oh, but you know, if-if anything else opens up, plea—Hello? Hello? (hangs up phone, very depressed)(Rachel goes back and sits down. The rest don't know what to say.)Monica: Sorry, Rach.Phoebe: Y'know, there's gonna be lots of other stuff.Rachel:Yeah...(sigh)....OK. Where were we? Oh, OK... five card draw, uh... jacks or better... nothing wild, everybody ante.Joey: Look, Rachel, we don't have to do this.Rachel: Yes, we do. (pause)Monica: Alright, check.Joey: Check.Ross: I'm in for fifty cents. (throws it in)Chandler: Call.Phoebe: I'm in.Rachel:I see your fifty cents... and I raise you... five dollars. (throws it in)Ross: I thought, uh... it was a fifty cent limit.Rachel:Well, I just lost a job, and I'd like to raise the bet five bucks. Does anybody have a problem with that?(Everyone says no and folds, except for Ross, who thinks about it.)Rachel: (to Ross): Loser?(Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe back their chairs away from the table.)Ross: No, I fold. (lays cards down, and gets up)Rachel:What do you mean, you fold? Hey, come on! What is this? I thought that 'once the cards were dealt, I'm not a nice guy.' I mean, what, were you just full of it?(Ross thinks it over, finally sits down and picks up his cards.)Ross: I'm in. (throws in chips)Rachel: How many you want?Ross: One. (Rachel gives him the card.)Rachel: Dealer takes two. (she deals herself two cards) What do you bet?Ross: I bet two dollars. (throws it in)Rachel: OK... see your two... and I raise you twenty. (throws it in)Ross: I see your twenty, raise you twenty-five. (throws it in)(The other four look amazed at the large pot.)Rachel: See your twenty-five...and...uh, Monica, get my purse.(Monica gets up, looks in Rachel's purse.)Monica: Rachel, there's nothing in it.Rachel: OK, then get me your purse.(Monica gets Rachel her purse.)Monica: OK, here you go. Good luck.Rachel: (to Monica): Thank you. (to Ross): I saw your twenty-five, and I raise you... seven.Phoebe: ...teen! (throws in a ten-dollar bill)(Ross looks in his wallet, pulls out two dollars.)Ross: (to Joey): Joey, I'm a little shy.Joey: That's OK, Ross, you can ask me. What?(Ross looks at Joey, dumbfounded at his stupidity.)Chandler: (to Ross): What do you need, what do you need?Ross: Fifteen.Chandler: Alright, here's ten. (gives it to him)Joey: Here, I got five, I got five. (Ross takes the money)Ross: Thank you.Chandler: Good luck.Ross: (to Rachel): OK, I am calling your seventeen. What do you got?(Long pause as they both look at each other.)Rachel: (lays down cards) Full house.(Ross stares at her. Thinks about it. Puts cards on table, face down.)Ross: You got me.(Monica and Phoebe get up and start celebrating in the kitchen, pouring wine and singing. Rachel, shocked, goes to join them.)Joey:(to Ross): Ahhh, that's alright. Y'know, that's a tough hand to beat.Chandler: (to Ross): I thought we had them!Ross: Oh, well, when you don't have the cards, you don't have the cards, you know. (looks at Rachel) But, uh... look how happy she is. (smiles)(Chandler and Joey look at her, and then look back at him. They dive for Ross's hand to see what he had, and he tries to stop them from looking.)Closing Credits[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, all six are playing Pictionary at Monica's apartment. Monica is drawing a picture, and the three guys are guessing. She draws what looks like an airplane.]Chandler:Airplane! Airport! Airport '75! Airport '77! Airport '79!(Timer goes off.)Rachel: Oh, time's up.Monica: (pointing at the drawing, upset) Bye... bye... BIRDIE.Joey: Oh!Phoebe:That's a bird?(Monica glares at Phoebe.)Phoebe: That's a bird!(Monica sits, Rachel gets up.)Rachel: OK, OK, it's my turn. (reads the answer)Chandler: Go.(Rachel starts drawing what looks like a bean.)Ross: Uh.... bean! Bean!(Rachel begins tapping the picture of the bean frantically.)Joey: (triumphantly) The Unbearable Likeness of Being!Rachel: Yes!Monica:That, you get? That, you get?(Monica picks up a glass to take a drink, everyone ducks as though she was about to throw it.)End。
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The One With Two Parts, Part 2Written by: Marta Kauffman and David Crane.Transcribed by: Tennant Stuart and Mindy Mattingly.Opening Credits[Scene: An Emergency Room, Rachel and Monica enter. Rachel is limping and leaning on Monica for support.]Rachel: Ow ow ow. Ow ow ow ow. Ow ow ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.(They reach the desk. The bored nurse thinks she's heard it all before.)Monica: Hi. Uh, my friend here was taking down our Christmas lights, and and she fell off the balcony and may have broken her foot or or ankle or something.Nurse: My god. You still have your Christmas lights up?(Rachel glares at the nurse, who gives Monica a form attached to a clipboard.)Nurse: Fill this out and bring it back to me.(Monica helps Rachel over to a vacant seat.)Rachel: Ow ow ow. Ow ow ow. Ow ow ow.(Monica starts on the form, while Rachel catches her breath and massages her ankle.)Monica: Okay, ooh, alright. Name, address... Okay, in case of emergency, call?Rachel: You.Monica: Really?Rachel: Yeah.Monica: Oh, that is so sweet. (Touched, she puts an arm around her friend and kisses her.) Oh gosh, love you. Insurance?Rachel: Oh, yeah, check it. Definitely, I want some of that.Monica: (No longer touched) you don't have insurance?Rachel: Why, how much is this gonna cost?Monica: I have no idea, but X-rays alone could be a couple hundred dollars.Rachel: Wel-wel-well what are we gonna do?Monica: Well there's not much we can do.Rachel: (Like a big baby) Um... unless, unless I use yours.Monica: Hah, no no no no no no no no no no.Rachel: (Tapping the clipboard) well, now, wait a second, who did I just put as my "In case of emergency" person?Monica: (Looking around to check that no-one's listening, then lowering her voice anyway) That's insurance fraud.Rachel: Well, alright, then, forget it. (Getting up to go) Might as well just go home. Ow ow ow ow!Monica: (Jumping up to make Rachel sit down) Okay, okay. I hate this.Rachel: Thank you. Thank you. I love you.Monica: (to the nurse) Hi, (tiny laugh) um, I'm gonna need a new set of (tiny laugh) these forms (tiny laugh).Nurse: Why?Monica: (Tiny laugh) I am really an idiot. (Tiny laugh) you see, I was filling out my friend's form, and instead of putting her information, (tiny laugh) I put mine.Nurse: You are an idiot. (She hands over a blank form).Monica: (Tiny laugh) yep, that's me, (tiny laugh) I am that stupid (tiny laugh).[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, has split up his newspaper so Joey can look at the funnies, while Ross's inappropriate joke at Lamaze class has come back to haunt him.]Ross: I had a dream last night where I was playing football with my kid.Chandler and Joey: That's nice.Ross: No, no, with him. (He mimes holding the baby like a football.) I'm on this field, and they, they hike me the baby... and I, I know I've gotta do something 'cause the Tampa Bay defence is comin' right at me.Joey: Tampa Bay's got a terrible team.Ross: Right, but, it is just me and the baby, so I'm thinkin' they can take us. And so I uh, hah-hah, I just heave it down field.Chandler: What are you crazy? That's a baby!Joey: He should take the sack?Ross: Anyway, suddenly I'm down field, and I realise that I'm the one who's supposed to catch him, right? Only I know there is no way I'm gonna get there in time, so I am running, and running, and that, that is when I woke up. See I, I am so not ready to be a father.Chandler: Hey, you're gonna be fine. You're one of the most caring, most responsible men in North America. You're gonna make a great dad.Joey: Yeah, Ross. You and the baby just need better blocking.(Feeling a little better, Ross fetches more coffee.)Joey: Oh, have either one of you guys ever been to the Rainbow Room? Is it real expensive?Chandler: Well, only if you order stuff.Joey: I'm takin' Ursula tonight. It's her birthday.Ross: Wo-wo-whoa. What about Phoebe's birthday?Joey: When's that?Ross: Tonight.Joey: Oh, man. What're the odds of that happening?(Joey begins to contemplate his ill fortune.)Ross: You take your time.(Joey looks at his friends, thinks a bit more, then realises.)Chandler: There it is! So what're you gonna do?Joey: What can I do? Look, I don't want to do anything to screw it up with Ursula.Chandler: And your friend Phoebe?Joey: Well, if she's my friend, hopefully she'll understand. I mean, wouldn't you guys?Chandler: Man, if you tried something like that on my birthday, you'd be starin' at the business end of a hissy fit.(Joey gestures to show that he wouldn't dare...)[Scene: The Hospital, Monica and Rachel are waiting for the doctors to arrive. They enter and are played by Noah Wyle and George Clooney.]Dr. Mitchell: ..you add a pinch of saffron, it makes all the difference.(They approach the young ladies. Dr. Mitchell consults Ms.Geller's admissions form.)Dr. Mitchell: Okay, errrr, Monica?Monica: Yes? (jumping as Rachel punches her arm) ..yes, she is.Rachel (as Monica): Hi, this is my friend Rachel.Monica (as Rachel): Hi.Dr. Mitchell: (Smiling) Hi, err Rachel. I'm Dr.Mitchell.Dr. Rosen: (Smiling even more and attempting to take over) And I'm his friend, Dr.Rosen.(Monica and Rachel smile back prettily.)Rachel: Aren't you a little cute to be a doctor?Dr. Rosen: Excuse me?Rachel: I meant er, (struggling to concentrate) young, young, I meant young, young to be a doctor. Oh good, Rach.Monica (as Rachel): Thank you.Rachel (as Monica): Right.[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone but Joey is waiting for Phoebe to arrive for her surprise birthday party. Rachel and Monica is telling Chandler about Rachel's incident.]Rachel: ..so, he said it was just a sprain, and that was it.Monica: Uh, you left out the stupid part.Rachel: Not stupid. The very cute, cute, cute doctors asked us out for tomorrow night, and I said "yes."Monica: I think it's totally insane, I mean, they work for the hospital. It's like returning to the scene of the crime. You know, I say we blow off the dates.Rachel: What? Monica, they are cute, they are doctors, (spelling it out in the air for her slow friend) cute doctors, doctors who are cute!Chandler: Alright, what have we learned so far?(There is a knock at the door. Someone turns the music off, then the whole party runs and hides, except for Monica and Rachel who answer their door. Ross stands in the doorway, holding a box, but everyone is too keyed up to notice that it's him.)The Whole Party: (Jumping up) SURPRISE!!!(Ross is so startled that he throws his arms up to defend himself. The box takes off, then lands with a squishy thud, its contents oozing out onto the floor. Ross is not pleased.)Ross: What the hell are you doing? You scared the crap outta me.Rachel: Was that the cake?Ross: Yeah, yeah. I got a lemon schmush.Monica: Come on, she'll be here any minute.(The whole party gathers round as Ross puts the box on the coffee table.) Rachel: I hope it's okay.(As Ross opens the lid, everybody looks at the mess inside.)Monica: Oh...Chandler: (Reading) "Happy Birthday Peehe."Monica: Well maybe we can make a, a, a 'B' out of one of those roses. (Phoebe quietly wanders in, to join the tableau.)Ross: (Still annoyed) Yeah, we'll just use our special cake tools. Phoebe: Hey, what's going on?Ross: Oh, we just...Phoebe's Friends: (Finally noticing the guest of honour) Surprise!Phoebe: (Delighted) oh, oh, oh! This is so great! Oh my god! This was not at all scary. Hi everybody. Hi Betty! Betty, Hi! (Thrilled) You found Betty! Oh my god! (Hugging people) This is great. Everybody I love is in the same room, (still happy) Where's Joey?(The party falls flat. Chandler tries to think of a witticism, but even he can't help...)Chandler: Did you see Betty?(Betty waggles her fingers to say "Hi", but Phoebe feels her birthday has been ruined by her twin.)[Scene: A Restaurant, Ross is having lunch with his father who is examining his next forkful.]Mr. Geller: I tell you one thing, I wouldn't mind having a piece of this sun-dried tomato business. Five years ago, if somebody had said to me, here's a tomato that looks like a prune, I'd say "get out of my office!"Ross: Dad, before I was born, did you freak out at all?Mr. Geller: I'm not freaking out, I'm just saying, if somebody had come to me with the idea andndash;Ross: Dad, dad, dad, I'm talkin' about the whole uh, baby thing. Did you uh, ever get this sort of... panicky, "Oh my god I'm gonna be a father" kind of a thing?Mr. Geller: No. Your mother really did the work. I was busy with the business. I wasn't around that much. Is that what this is about?Ross: No, no, Dad, I was just wondering.Mr. Geller: 'Cause there's time to make up for that. We can do stuff together. You always wanted to go to that Colonial Williamsburg. How 'bout we do that?Ross: Thanks, Dad, really, I ju... you know, I just, I just needed to know, um... when did you start to feel like a father?Mr. Geller:Oh, well, I, I guess it musta been the day after you were born. We were in the hospital room, your mother was asleep, and they brought you in and gave you to me. You were this ugly little red thing, and all of a sudden you grabbed my finger with your whole fist. And you squeezed it, so tight. And that's when I knew.(Ross is so moved by his father's charming story, that he stops eating.)Mr. Geller: So you don't wanna go to Williamsburg?Ross: No, we can go to Williamsburg.Mr. Geller: Eat your fish.[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is just getting off of the intercom and turns off the TV which is still in the SAP mode.]Monica: Rachel, the cute doctors are here.Rachel: (entering from her room) Okay, coming!(Monica opens the door for Dr. Mitchell and Dr. Geoffrey.)Monica: Hi, come on in.Dr. Mitchell: Hey.Monica: Hi, Geoffrey.Rachel: Hi.Dr. Rosen: Ah here, we brought wine.Dr. Mitchell: Look at this, it's from the cellars of Ernest and Tova Borgnine, so how could we resist?Rachel: Oh, that's great. Look at that.Dr. Rosen: So, Monica, how's the ankle?Monica: It's uh...(Rachel discreetly coughs to warn her.)Monica(as Rachel): ..well, why don't you tell them? After all it, is your ankle.Rachel (as Monica): You know what, it's feeling a lot better, thank you, um... Well, listen, why don't you two sit down and, and we'll get you some glasses... okay... (They don't know what to do with their coats and Monica points to the living room) STAT!(Rachel joins Monica who is in the kitchen area, opening the wine bottle. Rachel checks that the doctors aren't listening, then lowers her voice anyway.)Rachel: Okay, listen, I'm thinking, why don't we just tell them who we really are? I mean, it'll be fine, I really think it'll be fine.Monica: It will not be fine. We'll get in trouble.Rachel: Oh, Monica! Would you stop being such a wuss?Monica: A wuss? Excuse me for living in the real world, okay?(Back at the couch, Dr. Mitchell and Dr. Rosen have concerns of their own.)Dr. Mitchell: So?Dr. Rosen: So... they sss-still seem normal.Dr. Mitchell: That's because they are.Dr. Rosen: (Nervously) okay, but you have to admit that every time we go out... Women we meet at the hospital... It turns into...Dr. Mitchell:Willya relax? Look around. No pagan altars, no piles of bones in the corners, they're fine. (Baring his teeth to clean them with his finger) Go like this. (Dr. Rosen obeys.)(Meanwhile, back at the sink.)Monica: I said we are not going to do it, okay? Sometimes you can be such a, a big baby.Rachel: (Resenting the truth) I am not a baby! You know what? I swear to god, just because you get so uptight every time we...Monica: Sure, every time, you're such a princess...Rachel: You know what?Monica: What?Rachel: You know what?Monica: What!?Rachel: You know what?Monica: (getting angry) What!!?Rachel: Every day, you are becoming more and more like your mother.(Rachel brightly limps back across the apartment with glasses of wine for the cute doctors, leaving an open-mouthed Monica in her wake.)Rachel: Hello! Here we go!Dr. Rosen: This is a great place. How long have you lived here?Rachel: (as Monica) Thanks! I've been here about six years, and Rachel moved in a few months ago.Monica: (as Rachel) Yeah... (joining the others) ..see, I was supposed to get married, but, um, I left the guy at the altar.(Rachel tries to hide her alarm, but she squirms in her chair.)Dr. Mitchell: Really?Monica: (as Rachel) Yeah... Yeah, I know it's pretty selfish, but haha, hey, that's me. (Indicating a dish on the table) Why don't you try the hummus?Dr. Rosen: So, Monica, what do you do?Rachel: (as Monica) Aahh, I'm a... chef at a restaurant uptown.Dr. Rosen: Good for you.Rachel:(as Monica) Yeah it is, mostly because I get to boss people around, which I just love to do.Dr. Rosen: This hummus is great.Dr. Mitchell: God bless the chickpea.Monica:(as Rachel) (Suddenly laughing) Oh, god, I am so spoiled... That's it!(The doctors don't know what to make of all this.)Rachel: (as Monica) And by the way, have I mentioned that back in high school, I was a cow?Monica: (as Rachel) I used to wet my bed.Rachel: (as Monica) I use my breasts to get other people's attention.Monica: (as Rachel) (Revealing her anger to point at her best friend) We both do that!(Rachel lets her anger show too. Hideously embarrassed, the doctors drain their glasses in the vicious pause which follows. The telephone rings, but the girls just glower at each other, silently daring the other to move first. Finally both guys jump up, and Michael wins.)Dr. Mitchell:(on the phone) Monica and Rachel's apartment. Err yeh, aayah, yeh, just one second... (handing it to Monica) ..ah, Rachel, it's your dad.Monica:(as Rachel) Hi, Dad. No, no, it's me. (Getting up to move further away from Rachel) li-listen, Dad, I can't talk right now, um, but there's something, um... there's something that I've been meaning to tell you...(Monica glares triumphantly across the room, scaring Rachel who also stands up.)Rachel: Would you excuse me for a second?Monica:(as Rachel) Remember back in freshman year? (Talking fast before Rachel can catch her) Well, Billy Dreskin and I had sex on your bed.(Completely undone by Monica's verbal destruction, Rachel almost loses her balance as she staggers backwards, eyes agog, gasping for breath, and literally not knowing which way to turn. Finally, she escapes into the bathroom while a resigned Dr. Mitchell looks philosophically at Dr. Rosen who seems about remind him of the good old days at the pagan altar.)Commercial Break[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Ross, Phoebe, Chandler and Monica sit round the coffee table, playing Scrabble. Rachel, still in her dressing gown, is pleading on the phone, her free hand shaking with agitation.]Rachel: (on phone) Daddy... Daddy... Daddy, why whyyy would I sleep with Billy Dreskin? His father tried to put you out of business! (Rachel turns to Monica, clasping the receiver to her bosom so Dr.Green can't hear, while mouthing "You are...") ...dead!(Monica smiles a sweet apology of regret, until she's distracted by Marcel as he clambers all over her nice furniture.)Monica: Ross, he's got the remote again.Ross: Good. Maybe he can switch it back.(Marcel changes channel to Bugs Bunny, who is speaking in Spanish.)Ross: Maybe not.(Meanwhile, Rachel has taken another call, from a nurse she'd hoped never to hear from again.)Rachel: Hello? (Listens) Um, yeah, uh, (snapping her fingers at Ross who takes the remote from Marcel, then turns off the TV) Okay ah, hold on a second, lemme lemme just check and see if see if she's here.(All animosity forgotten, Rachel holds the receiver out as she limps quickly over to her friend, who stands up in concern.)Rachel: It's the woman from the hospital admissions office. She says there's a problem with the form. Oh, god, oh god...Rachel and Monica: Oh god, waddawe do, waddawe do, waddawe do?Monica: I don't know! Why don't you just explain? What do they want? Find out what they want!Rachel: Okay (desperately hands the receiver over) no, you do it.Monica:(taking the phone) Hello, this is Monica... Yeah??? Oh... (Smiles at Rachel to reassure her) Okay, yes, we'll be right, we'll be right down.(Listens) Thank you. (Hangs up)Rachel: What?Monica: We forgot to sign one of the admissions forms.Rachel: Ohhh... (slumping in relief) Okay, you were right. You were right! This was just not worth it.Monica: Thank you.Rachel: Okay, let me just change.Monica: Yes.(Rachel goes to her room.)Joey: (entering quietly) Hey.Ross and Chandler: Hey!Monica: Hi.Phoebe: Trouble?Joey: Your sister stood me up the other night.Phoebe: Oh, no. Don't you hate it when people aren't there for you?Ross: Well did you try calling her?Joey: I've been trying for two days. When I called the restaurant, they said she was too busy to talk. I can't believe she's blowin' me off.(Phoebe wants to be angry with Joey, but as she watches him shaking his head in pain and disbelief, she knows that it isn't his fault.)[Scene: Riff's, Phoebe is entering. Ursula returns with two plates of chicken, but she only has time to set one on the table, when...]Phoebe: Hey.(Ursula turns in surprise.)Ursula: Oh!Phoebe: Um you, you got a minute?Ursula: Um, yeah, I'm just... (waving dismissively at theconcept) ..working.(Ursula points out a vacant table, so the twins walk over, side by side, to sit down. Departing customers walk right past the pair. Sitting at the back, a hungry gentleman looks most annoyed as Ursula sets his meal down in front of her. The girls sit.)Phoebe: So.Ursula: Uh-huh.(Ursula is genuinely pleased that her sister has visited her, after so many years. Phoebe hesitates over how best to begin.)Phoebe: Um, oh, I got you a birthday present.(Ursula picks up a fork and begins eating the meat, while Phoebe removes a present from her bag.)Ursula: Oh, wow! You remembered! (Opening it) Oh! It's a Judy Jetson thermos!(She laughs at the childhood memory. Phoebe smiles at being able to make her point.)Phoebe: Right, like the kind you...Ursula: Right... Oh, I got something for you, too.(Ursula gets up to fetch a box from her bag by the counter.) Phoebe: How'd you know I was coming?Ursula: Um, yeah, um, twin thing.(Ursula puts the box directly into Phoebe's hand. Phoebe brightens.) Phoebe: I can't believe you did this.(Phoebe opens the box, to find something familiar inside.)Phoebe: I can't believe you... (holding up Joey's cardigan) ..did this. (Phoebe's smile hardens as she packs the cardigan away.)Phoebe: So... What's the deal with umm, you and Joey?Ursula: Oh, right. He is so great. But that's over.(Ursula resumes eating her lunch..)Phoebe: Does he know?Ursula: Who?Phoebe: Joey. You know, um, he's really nutsy about you.Ursula: He is? Why?Phoebe: You got me.Ursula: Right.(A waiter comes over for the stolen chicken. Ursula turns to him.) Ursula: Excuse me. Doesn't this come with a side salad?(The man gives up, shaking his head.)Phoebe: So, um, are you gonna call him?Ursula: What? (Indicating the departing waiter) Do you think he likes me?Phoebe: No, Joey.Ursula: Oh. No, no, he is so smart. He'll figure it out. (Offering to share her food) Do you want some chicken?Phoebe: No. No food with a face.Ursula: You have not changed!(Ursula's eyes dance as she laughs and smiles, simply glad to be back with her sister.)Phoebe: Yeah, you too.(Trying not to wrinkle her nose, Phoebe smiles back realising it's down to her to make up for her negligent sister. Meanwhile, Ursula still hasn't received her side salad, but when she attempts to attract the waiter's attention, he ignores her.)[Scene: The Emergency Room. The officious admissions nurse is again on duty. Rachel and Monica enter, looking worried. As they approach the desk, Rachel adopts a winning smile, while Monica struggles to smile at all.]Rachel: (as Monica) Hi, remember us?Nurse: (Grimacing) Mmm hmmm.Monica: (as Rachel) Um, okay. You just called a little while ago about needing a signature on the admissions form. Well, it turns out we need a whole new one (little laugh) because uh, you see, I-I, I put the wrong name again. (Little laugh) 'cause um...Nurse: You're that stupid.Monica: (as Rachel) I am. I'm that stupid. (Little laugh.)Rachel:(as Monica) Yeah, and and, I'm just gonna pay for this with a check.Nurse: Well, you know your insurance will cover that.Rachel:(as Monica) Yeah, I know... (mirroring her friend) ..I'm I'm just not that bright either.(The girls escape with a new form.)[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is neglecting the game of Scrabble, for he's busily drawing on his own childhood in an attempt to help Ross. Marcel chitters about.]Chandler: Okay, worst case scenario. Say you never feel like a father.Ross: Uh-huh.Chandler: Say your son never feels connected to you, as one. Say all of his relationships are affected by this.Ross: Do you have a point?Chandler: You know, you think I would.(Instead of scampering, Marcel stretches his neck as much as possible, and makes an unvoiced noise from his throat.)Chandler: What's up with the simian?Ross: It's just a fur ball.Chandler: Okay... (returning to the board) ..whose turn is it?Ross: Yours, I just got 43 points for 'KIDNEY'.Chandler: No, no, you got zero points for 'IDNEY'.Ross: I had a 'K'. Where's where's my 'K'?(The unvoiced hissing continues. In alarm, Ross and Chandler look at the monkey, who is now in some distress.)[Scene: The Emergency Room, Monica sits with Rachel, who is filling out an honest form at last. Ross and Chandler hurtle in. Little Marcel, wrapped in a fluffy towel, is cradled in Ross's arms. They dash up to the admissions desk. Ross is frantic.]Ross: You've got to help me my monkey swallowed a 'K'!(Hearing her brother's voice, Monica gets up to stand behind Chandler, followed by Rachel.)Nurse: (angrily) You go get that animal outta here.Ross: No, no you don't understand the animal hospital is way across town he's choking I don't know what else to do.Monica: What's goin' on?(Ross and Chandler turn at the voice...)Chandler: Marcel swallowed a Scrabble tile.Rachel: Oh.(..then turn back to the desk when the surprise hits them, and Ross and Chandler whip around once more. Monica and Rachel recoil slightly.)Nurse: Excuse me... This hospital is for people!Ross: Lady, he is people. He has a name, okay? He watches Jeopardy! He he touches himself when nobody's watching. Please, please have a heart! (Ross's vigorous protest is attracting attention.)Dr. Mitchell: I'll take a look at him.(Rachel, Monica, Ross and Chandler whip around for a second time, in formation.)Rachel and Monica: Oh, thank you.Monica: Michael.Dr. Mitchell: Rachel.Rachel: What?Monica: (as Rachel) Monica.Rachel: (as Monica) Oh.Monica: (as Rachel) Hi.Rachel: (as Monica) Hi.(Monica smiles to cover her embarrassment, but Rachel sadly looks away...)[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is playing "She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not" with the petals of a flower, alternately looking hopeful and annoyed.Phoebe enters, but not as herself, for she has changed the style of her hair and make-up to match that of her twin sister. She hangs up her coat, revealing her new cardigan. Nervously, she smooths out the identifying garment, approaching Joey who sits next to the main sofa.]Phoebe: (as Ursula) Hey.Joey: Urse...(Phoebe nods as he stands up in delight.)Joey: ..ah, what're you doing here? I've been trying to call you.Phoebe: (as Ursula) Listen, um...Joey: No, no, no, don't say "listen." I know that "listen." I've said that "listen."Phoebe: (as Ursula) I'm sorry.Joey: I don't get it. What happened? What about everything you said under the bridge?(Phoebe is almost thrown by this.)Phoebe: (as Ursula): Yeah, um... (nervously clears her throat) You know you, you should just forget about what I said under the bridge, I was talkin' crazy that night, I was so drunk!Joey: You don't drink.Phoebe: (as Ursula) That's right, I don't... But I was, I was drunk on you!Joey: Oh, Urse... (He tries to take her in his arms, but she fends him off.)Phoebe: (as Ursula) Okay, yeah, so it's not gonna work.Joey: Why? Is it because I'm friends with Phoebe?Phoebe: (as Ursula) If it was, would you stop hanging out with her?Joey: (Thinking carefully) no. No, I, I couldn't do that.Phoebe: (as Ursula) Um, then yes, it's 'cause of Phoebe! So, you know, it's either her or me.Joey: Then, uh, then I'm sorry.(He sinks to the sofa, saddened by Ursula's ultimatum, while Phoebe follows, touched by Joey's good heart.)Phoebe:(as Ursula) You know... (unconsciously putting a hand on his knee) You're gonna be really, really hard to get over.Joey: I know...(He looks up at her face and Phoebe, slipping out of character, smiles back at him. Joey's voice becomes soft and warm.)Joey: I don't know whether it's just 'cause we're breakin' up or... what, but you have never looked so beautiful.Phoebe: Really?(Phoebe smiles, when Joey takes her face in his hands and kisses her. Joey gets up to leave but stops suddenly. Phoebe silently shouts "Oh, whoa!!" to herself, and leans back in the sofa to recover, a hand to her tingling lips. A thoughtful Joey is also feeling his lips, so he hesitates for a moment, then returns for a better view, he thinks again, cocking his head from side to side to regard her profile from various angles, then...)Joey: Pheebs?Phoebe: (Automatically) Yeah. Oooh... (she's sprung.)[Scene: The Hospital, Marcel lies on the operating table while recovering from the anaesthetic, tucked up under a sheet like an infant in a huge bed. Ross sits beside him, as a smiling Chandler, Monica and Rachel look on.]Ross: He looks so tiny.(The door bursts open, and Joey and Phoebe rush in.)Joey: We just got the message.Phoebe: Is he alright?Ross: Yeah. The doctor got the 'K' out. He also found an 'M' and an 'O'.Chandler: We think he was trying to spell out 'MONKEY.'(Ross does not approve of Chandler's daft theory.)Ross: Well, the doctor says he's gonna be fine, he's just sleeping now.Chandler: (Tapping Ross on his shoulder) So, you feel like a dad yet?Ross: No, why?Chandler: Hey, come on, you came through, you did what you had to do. That is very dad.(Ross does approve of this, but he's still not sure. The tiny figure stirs.)Monica: Oh, look, he's waking up!Ross: (Quietly) hey, fella! How you doing?(All of a sudden, Marcel grabs Ross's finger with his whole fist, and he squeezes it, so tight, that Ross finally knows what it is to be a father. He looks up at his friends, who smile encouragingly, Rachel tenderly resting her chin upon Monica's shoulder. Ross realises that Chandler was right and he's gonna make a great dad!)Closing Credits[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey is there. Rachel is looking out of the window and Ross is handing out some Chinese takeout. There's a small SAP in the corner of the screen.]Ross: Aqui est? (Here it is!)Monica: 緼 qui閚 pidio el pollo General Tso? (Who ordered General Sal's chicken?)Chandler: udo aver sido General Tso! (It could've been General Sal!)(Rachel points out of the window.)Rachel: ira, mira, el viejo desnudo est?haciendo el hula hoop! (Look, look, Ugly Naked Guy is doing the hula!)(The others rush to the window for a look.)。