21篇英语幽默笑话小故事带生词解释

1.The World's Greatest Swordsman（n. 剑客, 击剑手）At an exhibition of the world's best swordsman, the third-place（排名第三的）fencer（n.剑客，击剑者）took the stage. A fly was released, and with an arc（n.弧）of his sword（n.剑，刀）he cut the fly in half. The crowd cheered. Then the second-place man sliced（slice n.薄片vt.削）a fly into quarters. A hush fell in anticipation of the world's greatest swordsman.His blade came down in a mighty arc - but the insect continued on its way! The crowd was aghast. The greatest swordsman had missed his target completely, yet he continued to smile."Why are you so happy?" someone yelled. "You missed!" "Ah," replied the swordsman, "you weren't watching very carefully. They fly lives, yes - but he will never be a father."stage[n.舞台take the world stage登上舞台exhibition]n.展览(会)release]vt.／n.释(排)放；放开hush v.(使)安静下来n.安静，寂静anticipation n.预期；预料in anticipation of期待着blade]n.刀刃，刀片mighty[a.强大的insect]n.昆虫，虫aghast]a.惊骇的target[n.目标，对象，靶子vt.瞄准yell]vi./ n.号叫，叫喊2.A MistakeAn American, a Scot（Scotland n.苏格兰）and a Canadian were killed in a car accident. They arrived at the gates of heaven, where a flustered St. Peter explained that there had been a mistake. "Give me $500 each," he said, "and I'll return you to earth as if the whole thing never happened.""Done!" said the American. Instantly, he found himself standing unhurt near the scene."Where are the others?" asked a medic."Last I knew," said the American, "the Scot was haggling price, and the Canadian was arguing that his government should pay."accident [æksidənt] n.意外遭遇,事故fluster [flʌstə] vt.使惊慌失措flustered惊慌失措的saint英音：[seint] heaven [hevən]n.天堂Done 口语（成交）instantly [instəntli]ad.立即，立刻scene [si:n]n.场，地点medic 医生haggle [hægəl]vi.讨价还价argue [ɑ:gju:]vi.争论(吵,辩) government政府3.Pig or Witch（女巫）A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!" The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "WITCH(女巫)!!" They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road. If only men would listen（要是这个男的能听懂那个女人的意思就好了。

）.steep a.陡的narrow[a.狭窄(隘)的；lean v.(使)倾斜crash vi.碰撞4.Response Abilityresponse n.回答ability n.能力，技巧An Ogden（奥格根市）, Iowa, minister was matching coins with a member of his congregation for a cup of coffee. When asked if that didn't constitute gambling, the minister replied, "It's merely a scientific method of determining just who is going to commit an act of charity（仅仅是决定由谁来做一件善事的一种科学方法）Iowa]n.衣阿华[美国州名]minister n.部长，公使，牧师congregation n.集合在一起的群众a member of his congregation一位教友constitute vt.构成gamble赌博scientific .科学的determine vt.决定commit vt.犯(错误等)charity n.救济金；[ pl.]慈善团体；宽容Philosopher Bertrand Russell(罗素), asked if he was willing to die for his belief, replied: "Of course not. After all, I may be wrong." philosopher n.哲学家willing愿意的belief.信仰5.A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre(卢浮宫), and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?"The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit."organize vt.组织contest n.比赛；辩驳6.Jonesie The Great Lion HunterA small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaderssent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast. For several nights the hunter lay（躺）in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide（兽皮）. Draping盖上the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture牧草地，牧场to wait for the lion pastureIn the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling shrieks coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion.（curdle v.使凝结shriek vi.尖叫approach v.靠近groan v.呻吟）"What happened, Jonesie? Where is the lion?" asked the chief. "Forget the damn lion!" he howled. "Which one of you idiots let the bull loose?" howl[haul]vi.／哀号bull[bul]n.公牛idiot n.白痴，傻子，笨蛋7.Weather PredictA film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow rain." The next day it rained.A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow storm." The next day there was a hailstorm."This Indian is incredible," said the director. He told his secretary tohire the Indian to predict the weather.However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks.Finally the director sent for him. "I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow," said the director, "and I'm depending on you. What will the weather be like?"The Indian shrugged his shoulders. "Don't know," he said. "Radio is broken."c rew n.全体工作人员location n.位置，场所；外景拍摄地director 主管，导演hail ]n.雹hailstorm雹暴incredible ]a.不可信的；不可思议的，惊人的show up 暴露，露面shrug v.／n.耸肩8.I Am Acting Like a LadyOne day when women's dresses were on sale at the FarEast Department Store, a dignified middle-aged man decided to get his wife a piece. But he soon found himself being battered by frantic women. He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and armsflailing, he plowed through the crowed."You there!" challenged a thrill voice. "Can't you act like a gentleman?""Listen," he said, "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."I Am Acting Like a Lady我要表现得象位女士the FarEast Department Store远东百货公司on sale减价dignified a.有尊严的batter v.连续猛击frantic a.发疯似的he soon found himself being battered by frantic women.没过多久，他发现自己已被疯狂的女人冲得踉踉跄跄。