雅思考试大作文题目素材运用范例(15)

【健康类】

Some people believe that to become the vegetarian is the only way to keep h ealthy. Do you agree or disagree? 有人认为：成为素食主义者是保持健康的唯一方式，是否认同?

【点评】本文主题是论证如何保持健康。

【健康类】

The government has the duty to ensure its citizens have a healthy diet, whi le others believe it is individuals’ responsibility. Discuss both views and gi ve your own opinion. 政府有责任保障人们的健康饮食，健康饮食是个人的责任，讨论两种观点，给出你的意见。

【作家立场】保持健康是个人和政府的责任，但是，个人应该承担更多的责任。(个人健康管理的方式就是加强锻炼、健康管理、合理饮食等)

【点评】文本主题是论证如此保持健康。

【写作难点】

1. 没有观点

2. 没有语言

3. 表达不精彩

【写作策略】

精彩的语料库的输入到输出。写文章好像盖楼房，需要的是图纸和原料。按照写作理解，就是谋篇布局+遣词造句。语料库就是打造完美范文的一块块砖，料，水泥和木头。这是最考验写作基本功的。雅思写作老师语料库是整合优秀的阅读资源和个性化的原创思想。

【中国考生分析低分的原因解析】

1. 模板和背诵的痕迹过重，让人不相信是原创作品。

2. 没有文采，很多表达已经是陈词滥调。

3. 基础薄弱，错误较多。

【解析两个写作术语】

pet words n小狗词汇——作家喜欢的词汇

fossilization n化石主义——固定输入

【雅思写作评分标准】

☆任务完成情况(Task Achievement)

解析：内容(content)是否切题，立场(position)是否鲜明并得到有效阐释，结构(str ucture)是否有逻辑性。

☆连贯与衔接(Coherence and Cohesion)

解析：段落之间的“启”、“承”、“转”、“合”可通过表顺序的过渡词完成。

☆词汇资源(Lexical Resource)

解析：用词的精准可以加分。词汇的精彩体现在表达的个性化以及多元化。

☆语法的多样性和准确性(Grammatical Range and Accuracy)

解析：句子结构的准确性和丰富性;句子的长度和复杂性;用语的逻辑性和正式性。

【雅思写作的5个步骤】

(1)词汇替换：替换提问中的关键词汇。

(2)主题观点：确立作家立场或者写作目的。

(3)思路拓展：思考支持反驳或者解释解决的理由。

(4)正文写作：正文写作准备好的语料库，做到灵活运用。

(5)仔细检查：坚持行文逻辑;句法;词汇拼写。

【让步反驳解析】：三分让步、七分反驳(观点不是完全正确的)

【让步反驳话题的布局图】

[首段]：背景介绍 + 争议焦点 + 作家立场

[二段]：让步原题观点的合理性(最多二点;他人口吻;我的口吻;可以适度反驳)

[三段]：让步原题观点之不合理(二点或者三点反驳)

[尾段]：再次亮明观点 + 总结理由

【作家立场】为了保持健康，多食水果蔬菜也许是一种有效的方式，但是，不是最佳的和唯一的方式。

【思路拓展】

素食主义为何可以保持健康

1. 素食主义者避免了糖分、脂肪、和过多的热量的摄入。

2. 并且，水果蔬菜中含有丰富的维生素，因此，多食水果蔬菜真的是可以保持健康。但是，我想反驳的是：过度摄入水果蔬菜会导致营养的不均衡。

素食主义为何不是保持健康的唯一方式

1. 其实，保持健康，仅仅避免肉类的摄入不是最佳的方式。

2. 第一，加强体育锻炼是很好的保持健康方式，规律的体育锻炼可以使人放松身心、增强人的免疫力、提高人的健康指数。

3. 第二，劳逸结合是健康的生活方式的保障，因为，现代人面对激烈的竞争，很多人过度工作，这种生活方式其实潜移默化地对健康施加不良影响，因此，有效地休息例如安排旅行或者周末会友也会愉悦心情，甜美生活，有助于人们的健康管理。

【老师语料库】

1. Happiness lies，first of all，in health. 健康是幸福人生的本源。

2. vegetarians = those who are keen on eating vegetables or fruits n素食主义者

3. vegetarians =people who consciously avoid the intake of meat n素食主义

者

4. is the only way = is the sole method v 是唯一的方式

5. keep healthy = keep fit = embark on a healthier lifestyle = have a whole some lifestyle v保持健康

【范文赏析】

[首段]：背景介绍+作家立场

Happiness lies，first of all，in health. Health enables us to brave career challenges energetically and harmonize family life optimistically. The awarenes s of a healthier lifestyle has been making numerous people alter their dietary habits, which explains the increase of vegetarians. My stand is that to eat fru its and vegetables might be an effective way in terms of keeping fit，however，i t is not the best and only strategy.

【解析】 My stand is that = my firm conviction is that =to voice my opinion 我认为……

【拓展】 in terms of 在……的方面;就……而言

[二段]：让步段

Indeed, I have to concede that people who consciously avoid the intake of m eat can, to some extent, help them embark on a wholesome lifestyle. More precis ely, vegetarian eating habit helps people avoid excessive intake of sugar, fat and calorie. Meanwhile, rich nutrients and vitamins are contained in plenty of fruits and vegetables. What I want to rebut, however, is that too much consumpt ion of fruits and vegetables might result in the imbalance of nutritional value

【解析】 embark on a wholesome lifestyle v开始健康的生活方式

【拓展】 What I want to rebut, however, is that……然而，我想反驳的是……

[三段]：反驳段

Virtually，to avoid eating meat leaves much to be desired as far as keeping fit is concerned. Other ways should be explored. First, strengthening the physi cal exercise is also a commendable way because regular physical activities help us relax our bodies and ease our minds. Hence, one’s immune system can be imp roved and one’s health index can be enhanced. Also, modern people usually have to face fierce competition and huge pressure deriving from either study or work. To stand out, numerous people burn the midnight oil, which undermines their he alth. In this sense, to strike a proper balance between rest and work can also ensure people’s health management. To illustrate, occupied workers or students should be urged to arrange holiday trip or friends reunion from time to time.

【解析】 leaves much to be desired ……远非令人满意

【拓展】 burn the midnight oil = work far into the night 开夜车(为工作到深夜)

[尾段]：再次亮明观点

In closing，I re-affirm my conviction that regular sports activities and re asonable schedule will have indispensable roles to play in help people remain h ealthy although to reduce the intake of meat might work in some cases.

【解析】 In closing，I re-affirm my conviction that ……总之，我再次重申我方立场

【拓展】 have indispensable roles to play in 在……中可以发挥不可缺少的作用

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