TED演讲--脆弱的力量
The power of vulnerability-----Brené Brown脆弱的力量So, I'll start with this: a couple years ago, an event planner called me because I was going to do a speaking event.那我就这么开始吧：几年前，一个活动策划人打电话给我，因为我当时要做一个演讲。
And she called, and she said, "I'm really struggling with how to write about you on the little flyer."她在电话里说：“我真很苦恼该如何在宣传单上介绍你。
”And I thought, "Well, what's the struggle?" 我心想，怎么会苦恼呢？And she said, "Well, I saw you speak, and I'm going to call you a researcher, I think, but I'm afraid if I call you a researcher, no one will come, because they'll think you're boring and irrelevant."她继续道：“你看，我听过你的演讲，我觉得我可以称你为研究者，可我担心的是，如果我这么称呼你，没人会来听，因为大家普遍认为研究员很无趣而且脱离现实。
”And I was like, "Okay." And she said, "But the thing I liked about your talk is you're a storyteller. So I think what I'll do is just call you a storyteller."我说：“好吧。
“然后她说：“但是我喜欢你的演讲，就跟讲故事一样很吸引人。
我想来想去，还是觉得称你为讲故事的人比较妥当。
”And of course, the academic, insecure part of me was like, "You're going to call me a what?" 当然作为学者，感到不安的我脱口而出道：“你要叫我什么？”And she said, "I'm going to call you a storyteller." 她说：“我要称你为讲故事的人。
"And I was like, "Why not 'magic pixie'?" 我心想：”为什么不干脆叫魔法小精灵？“I was like, "Let me think about this for a second." 我说：”让我考虑一下。
“I tried to call deep on my courage. And I thought, you know, I am a storyteller.我试着鼓起勇气。
我对自己说，我是一个讲故事的人。
I'm a qualitative researcher. I collect stories; that's what I do.我是一个从事定性研究的科研人员。
我收集故事；这就是我的工作。
And maybe stories are just data with a soul. And maybe I'm just a storyteller.或许故事就是有灵魂的数据。
或许我就是一个讲故事的人。
And so I said, "You know what? Why don't you just say I'm a researcher-storyteller."于是我说：”听着，要不你就称我为做研究兼讲故事的人。
“And she went, "Ha ha. There's no such thing." 她说：”哈哈，没这么个说法呀。
“So I'm a researcher-storyteller, and I'm going to talk to you today -- we're talking about expanding perception -- and so I want to talk to you and tell some stories about a piece of my research that fundamentally expanded my perception and really actually changed the way that I live and love and work and parent.所以我是个做研究兼讲故事的人，我今天想跟大家谈论的--我们要谈论的话题是关于拓展认知--我想给你们讲几个故事是关于我的一份研究的，这份研究从本质上拓宽了我个人的认知，也确确实实改变了我生活、爱、工作还有教育孩子的方式。
And this is where my story starts.我的故事从这里开始。
When I was a young researcher, doctoral student, my first year, I had a research professor who said to us, "Here's the thing, if you cannot measure it, it does not exist."当我还是个年轻的博士研究生的时候，第一年，有位研究教授对我们说：”事实是这样的，如果有一个东西你无法测量，那么它就不存在。
“And I thought he was just sweet-talking me. I was like, "Really?"我心想他只是在哄哄我们这些小孩子吧。
我说：“真的么？”and he was like, "Absolutely."他说：“当然。
”And so you have to understand that I have a bachelor's and a master's in social work, and I was getting my Ph.D. in social work, so my entire academic career was surrounded by people who kind of believed in the "life's messy, love it."你得知道我有一个社会工作的学士文凭，一个社会工作的硕士文凭，我在读的是一个社会工作的博士文凭，所以我整个学术生涯都被人所包围，他们大抵相信生活是一团乱麻，接受它。
And I'm more of the, "life's messy, clean it up, organize it and put it into a bento box." 而我的观点则倾向于，生活是一团乱麻，解开它，把它整理好，再归类放入便当盒里。
And so to think that I had found my way, to found a career that takes me -- really, one of the big sayings in social work is, "Lean into the discomfort of the work."我觉得我领悟到了关键，让自己有能力去创一番事业--真的，社会工作的一个重要理念是置身于工作的不适中。
And I'm like, knock discomfort upside the head and move it over and get all A's.我就是要把这不适翻个底朝天每科都拿到A。
That was my mantra.So I was very excited about this.这就是我当时的信条。
我当时真的是跃跃欲试。
And so I thought, you know what, this is the career for me, because I am interested in some messy topics.我想这就是我要的职业生涯，因为我对乱成一团，难以处理的课题感兴趣。
But I want to be able to make them not messy. 我想要把它们弄清楚。
I want to understand them. I want to hack into these things that I know are important and lay the code out for everyone to see.我想要理解它们。
我想侵入那些我知道是重要的东西把它们摸透，然后用浅显易懂的方式呈献给每一个人。
So where I started was with connection. 所以我的起点是“关系”。
Because, by the time you're a social worker for 10 years, what you realize is that connection is why we're here. 因为当你从事了10年的社会工作，你必然会发现关系是我们活着的原因。
It's what gives purpose and meaning to our lives. 它赋予了我们生命的意义。
This is what it's all about. 就是这么简单。
It doesn't matter whether you talk to people who work in social justice, mental health and abuse and neglect, what we know is that connection, the ability to feel connected, is -- neurobiologically that's how we're wired -- it's why we're here.无论你跟谁交流工作在社会执法领域的也好，负责精神健康、虐待和疏于看管领域的也好我们所知道的是，关系是种感应的能力--生物神经上，我们是这么被设定的--这就是为什么我们在这儿。
《脆弱的力量》TED观后感
《脆弱的力量》TED观后感
每个人都有他脆弱的时候，即使他在人前是看似多么的坚强。
人有时坚不可摧，有时脆弱得一击即垮。
但是脆弱并不应该是避而不谈的，就算我们清楚地知道脆弱背后的情绪是恐惧和羞愧，为什么我们感觉到脆弱？因为恐惧和羞愧。
TED视频中的社会学家在收集研究脆弱命题的相关数据时，发现可根据脆弱与否分为两类人，一类是总是提起自己伤心的过往以及不幸的时刻，凡是遇到相似的情况就会选择逃避退缩；而另一类人承认脆弱是必须的，但依然全心全意地去爱，去拥抱生活，即使过去曾带给自己伤害。
任何人在脆弱的时候都尝试逃离这种难受的状态，或者试图用外物比如酒精药物来麻醉自己，但是一旦停止外物麻醉，重新回到现实来情绪不免更加低落，因而需要更多的酒精和药物麻痹自己，难以拥抱脆弱的人最终就会陷入这种恶性循环。
“你知道吗？你并不完美，你注定要奋斗，但是你值得被爱，值得享有归属感。
”因为不完美，恐惧和羞愧让自己感觉脆弱，但是如果选择因脆弱而奋斗，并非自暴自弃的话，那么脆弱将让自己成长，让自己反思，让自己重新振作起来面对生活。
在“breakdown"的同时，也是“spiritual awakening"的时刻，脆弱让灵魂解放，重新思考人生，总结经验教训，才能以更强大的内心踏上未来新旅程。
ted最值得看的10个演讲 -回复
ted最值得看的10个演讲-回复TED最值得看的10个演讲TED Talks是一个受人尊敬和备受关注的平台，汇集了来自世界各个领域的杰出人士的演讲。
他们的演讲主题涉及到科技、艺术、教育、心理学等各个领域。
在这些演讲中，有一些真正影响了我们的思维方式和改变了我们的生活。
以下是我认为TED最值得看的10个演讲：1. "Do Schools Kill Creativity?" by Sir Ken Robinson"学校是否扼杀了创造力?"——肯·罗宾逊爵士这是一场非常有名的演讲，肯·罗宾逊爵士讨论了学校教育对于培养创造力的负面影响。
他指出我们生活在一个快速变化的世界中，然而学校教育却未能适应这种变化。
他呼吁我们改变教育体系，创造一个培养创造力和想象力的环境。
2. "The Power of Vulnerability" by Brene Brown"脆弱的力量"——布莱恩·布朗这场演讲探讨了脆弱和勇气之间的关系。
布莱恩·布朗认为脆弱是我们连接他人的桥梁，也是真实的表现。
她通过自己的研究和经验，分享了如何拥抱自己的脆弱，并从中获得力量和成长。
3. "Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are" by Amy Cuddy "你的身体语言塑造了你的自我"——艾米·卡迪艾米·卡迪的演讲讨论了身体语言对我们的自我认知和自信心的影响。
她分享了通过调整身体姿势来改变自己的内心状态和表现的方法，并着重强调了权力姿势的重要性。
4. "The Puzzle of Motivation" by Dan Pink"动机之谜"——丹·平克这场演讲探讨了现有激励体系对于激发员工创造力和工作动力的失败。
TED演讲-脆弱的力量演讲稿中文翻译
TED演讲:脆弱的力量演讲稿中文翻译篇一：脆弱的力量演讲稿脆弱的力量演讲稿今天我要讲一份研究，这份研究从本质上拓宽了我个人的认知，也确确实实改变了我的生活、爱、工作还有教育孩子的方式。
我是个社会学的学士、硕士和博士，我被人所包围，大家都认同:“生活是一团乱麻，接受它。
”而我的观点倾向于:“生活是一团乱麻，解开它，把它整理好，再归类放入便当盒里。
”我对乱成一团、难以处理的问题感兴趣，我想要把它们弄清楚，我想要理解它们，我想侵入那些我认为重要的东西，把它们摸透，然后用浅显易懂的方式呈献给每一个人。
所以我的起点是“关系”。
当你从事了10年的社会工作，你必然会发现，关系是我们活着的原因。
它赋予了我们生命的意义。
无论你跟谁交流，我们发现，关系是一种感应的能力——生物神经上，我们是这么被设定的。
所以我从关系开始。
下面这个场景我们再熟悉不过了，你的上司给你做工作评估，她告诉了你37点你做得相当棒的地方，还有一点——成长的空间？然后你满脑子都想着那一点成长的空间，不是吗？当你跟人们谈论爱情，他们告诉你的是一件让他们心碎的事；当你跟人们谈论归属感，他们告诉你的是最让他们痛心的被排斥的经历；当你和他们谈论关系，他们跟你讲的是如何被断绝关系的故事。
终于，在开始研究六周以后，我遇到了这个闻所未闻的东西，它揭示了关系——以一种我不理解也从没见过的方式。
ted演讲脆弱的力量（最新版）
ted演讲脆弱的力量ted演讲脆弱的力量ted演讲脆弱的力量I just need some strategies. It just is hat it is. And I said, Oh my God, this is going to suck. And it did, and it didn t.And it took about a year.And you kno ho there are peoplethat, hen they realize that vulnerability and tenderness are important,that they surrender and alk into it.A: that s not me,and B: I don t even hang out ith people like that.And e perfect, most dangerously,our children.Let me tell you hat e think about children.They re hardired for struggle hen they get here.And hen you hold those perfect little babies in your hand,our job is not to say, Look at her, she s perfect.My job is just to keep her perfect --make sure she makes the tennis team by fifth grade and Yale by seventh grade. That s not our job.Our job is to look and say, You kno hat? You re imperfect, and you re ired for struggle,but you are orthy of love and belonging. That s our job.Sho me a generation of kids raised like that,and e ll end the problems I think that e see today.We pretend that hat e dodoesn t have an effect on people.We do that in our personal lives.We do that corporate --hether it s a bailout, an oil spill,a recall --e pretend like hat e re doingdoesn t have a huge impact on other people.I ould say to panies, this is not our first rodeo, people.We just need you to be authentic and realand say, We re sorry.We ll fix it. But there s another ay, and I ll leave you ith this.This is hat I have found:to let ourselves be seen,deeply seen,vulnerably seen;to love ith our hole hearts,even though there s no guarantee --and that s really hard,and I can tell you as a parent, that s excruciatingly difficult --to practice gratitude andjoyin those moments of terror,hen e re ondering, Can I love you this much?Can I believe in this this passionately?Can I be this fierce about this? just to be able to stop and, instead of catastrophizing hat might happen,to say, I m just so grateful,because to feel this vulnerable means I m alive. And the last, hich I think is probably the most important,is to believe that e re enough.Because hen e ork from a place,I believe, that says, I m enough, then e stop screaming and start listening,e re kinder and gentler to the people around us,and e re kinder and gentler to ourselves. ted演讲脆弱的力量我只需要一些策略。
脆弱地力量双语版
The power of vulnerability---Brene Brown脆弱的力量---布琳布朗So, I'll start with this: a couple years ago, an event planner called me because I was going to do a speaking event. And she called, and she said, "I'm really struggling with how to write about you on the little flier." And I thought, "Well, what's the struggle?" And she said, "Well, I saw you speak, and I'm going to call you a researcher, I think, but I'm afraid if I call you a researcher, no one will come, because they'll think you're boring and irrelevant." (Laughter) And I was like, "Okay." And she said, "But the thing I liked about your talk is you're a storyteller. So I think what I'll do is just call you a storyteller." And of course, the academic, insecure part of me was like, "You're going to call me a what?" And she said, "I'm going to call you a storyteller." And I was like, "Why not magic pixie?" (Laughter) I was like, "Let me think about this for a second." I tried to call deep on my courage. And I thought, you know, I am a storyteller. I'm a qualitative researcher. I collect stories; that's what I do. And maybe stories are just data with a soul. And maybe I'm just a storyteller. And so I said, "You know what? Why don't you just say I'm a researcher-storyteller." And she went, "Haha. There's no such thing." (Laughter) So I'm a researcher-storyteller, and I'm going to talk to you today -- we're talking about expanding perception -- and so I want to talk to you and tell some stories about a piece of my research that fundamentally expanded my perception and really actually changed the way that I live and love and work and parent.那我就这么开始吧：几年前，一个活动策划人打电话给我，因为我当时要做一个演讲。
最著名的英文短篇演讲
最著名的英文短篇演讲"The Power of Vulnerability" by Brené Brown is one of the most famous short speeches in English. In this TED Talk, Brown explores the importance of embracing vulnerability and how it can lead to a more fulfilling and connected life.此处翻译答案：《脆弱力量》是布伦·布朗（Brené Brown）最著名的英文短篇演讲之一。
在这个TED演讲中，布朗探讨了接受脆弱性的重要性以及它如何带来更充实和联系紧密的生活。
Here are 10 bilingual sentences related to the speech:1. Vulnerability is often seen as a weakness, but it can actually be a source of strength.（脆弱性通常被视为一种弱点，但实际上可以成为一种力量的源泉。
）2. Brown shares her personal journey with vulnerability and how it has transformed her life.（布朗分享了她个人在脆弱性方面的旅程以及它如何改变她的生活。
）3. The speech emphasizes the importance of embracing vulnerability in order to experience genuine connections with others.（这篇演讲强调了接受脆弱性的重要性，以便与他人建立真正的联系。
）4. Brown's message resonated with audiences around the world, making her speech a viral sensation.（布朗的讯息引起了世界各地观众的共鸣，使她的演讲成为一种病毒般的感动。
演讲稿 关于脆弱的力量演讲稿
关于脆弱的力量演讲稿现任TED掌门人克里斯安德森说：一次演讲令人惊奇的地方在于，你可以用几分钟的时间启发人们的思想。
这几分钟能把人从观众转变为参与者。
关键词是灵感，它更像火花、催化剂，让你参与到比自己更伟大的事情中去。
下面小编为大家整理关于脆弱的力量演讲稿，希望能帮到你。
脆弱的力量，我恨脆弱几年前，一个活动策划人打电话给我，因为我当时要做一个演讲。
她在电话里说：我真很苦恼该如何在宣传单上介绍你。
我心想怎么会苦恼呢? 她继续道：你看，我听过你的演讲，我觉得我可以称你为研究者，可我担心的是，如果我这么称呼你，没人会来听，因为大家普遍认为研究员很无趣而且脱离现实。
然后她说：但是我喜欢你的演讲，就跟讲故事一样很吸引人。
我想来想去，还是觉得称你为讲故事的人比较妥当。
而那个做学术的感到不安的我脱口而出道：你要叫我什么?她说：我要称你为讲故事的人。
我心想：为什么不干脆叫魔法小精灵?(笑声)我说：让我考虑一下。
我试着鼓起勇气。
我对自己说，我是一个讲故事的人。
我是一个从事定性研究的科研人员。
我收集故事这就是我的工作。
或许故事就是有灵魂的数据。
或许我就是一个讲故事的人。
于是我说：听着，要不你就称我为做研究兼讲故事的人。
她说：哈哈，没这么个说法呀。
所以我是个做研究兼讲故事的人，我今天想跟大家谈论的我们要谈论的话题是关于拓展认知。
我想给你们讲几个故事是关于我的一份研究的，这份研究从本质上拓宽了我个人的认知，也确确实实改变了我生活、爱、工作还有教育孩子的方式。
1、关系是我们活着的原因我的故事从这里开始。
当我还是个年轻的博士研究生的时候，第一年，有位研究教授对我们说：事实是这样的，如果有一个东西你无法测量，那么它就不存在。
我心想他只是在哄哄我们这些小孩子吧。
我说：真的么?他说：当然。
你得知道我有一个社会工作的学士文凭，一个社会工作的硕士文凭，我在读的是一个社会工作的博士文凭，所以我整个学术生涯都被人所包围，他们大抵相信生活是一团乱麻，接受它。
ted十大著名演讲稿
ted十大著名演讲稿TED 演讲以其思想的深度、创新的观点和精彩的表达，吸引了全球无数观众。
以下为您盘点十大著名的 TED 演讲稿：1、《学校如何扼杀创造力》（Ken Robinson）肯·罗宾逊在演讲中深刻地指出，当前的教育体制往往在不经意间扼杀了孩子们的创造力。
他认为，创造力和文化知识同样重要，我们应该重新审视教育的方式，为孩子们提供更能激发创造力的环境。
他以幽默风趣的语言和生动的例子，让人们深刻反思教育的本质和目标。
2、《脆弱的力量》（Brené Brown）布琳·布朗探讨了脆弱性的力量。
她通过深入的研究发现，敢于展现脆弱并不是弱点，而是一种勇气和连接人与人之间的关键。
这个演讲鼓励人们接受自己的不完美和脆弱，从而建立更真实、深厚的人际关系。
3、《伟大的领导者如何激励行动》（Simon Sinek）西蒙·斯涅克提出了“黄金圈法则”，强调伟大的领导者都是从“为什么”开始思考，而不仅仅是“做什么”和“怎么做”。
他以苹果、马丁·路德·金等为例，清晰地阐述了这一理念，为人们提供了全新的领导力视角。
4、《内向性格的力量》（Susan Cain）苏珊·凯恩为内向者发声，打破了社会对内向性格的偏见。
她指出，内向者拥有独特的优势，如深度思考、专注和善于倾听。
这个演讲让人们更加理解和尊重内向性格的人，也让内向者更加自信地发挥自己的特质。
5、《肢体语言塑造你自己》（Amy Cuddy）艾米·卡迪的研究表明，肢体语言不仅影响着别人对我们的看法，更能改变我们对自己的感觉和表现。
她分享了一些简单而有效的肢体语言技巧，帮助人们提升自信和影响力。
6、《我们为什么快乐？》（Dan Gilbert）丹·吉尔伯特探讨了人类追求快乐的本质。
他通过科学研究和有趣的故事，揭示了我们对快乐的误解以及如何真正获得长期的幸福感。
7、《你的不合理信念正在毁掉你》（Albert Ellis）阿尔伯特·埃利斯强调了不合理信念对我们情绪和行为的负面影响。
ted中英文对照
ted中英文对照TED (Technology, Entertainment, Design) 是一个国际性的演讲和会议平台，旨在分享和传播创新思想、理念和科技。
以下是一些 TED 演讲的中英文对照：1. "The Power of Introverts"（内向的力量）中文：内向的力量2. "The Happy Secret to Better Work"（快乐工作更高效）中文：快乐工作更高效3. "How to Speak Up and Be Heard"（如何表达并被听到）中文：如何表达并被听到4. "The Danger of a Single Story"（单一故事的危险性）中文：单一故事的危险性5. "The Surprising Science of Happiness"（幸福的惊人科学）中文：幸福的惊人科学6. "The Real Reason to Quit Your Day Job"（真正辞职的原因）中文：真正辞职的原因7. "The Beauty of Failure"（失败之美）中文：失败之美8. "The Happy Secret of the Winners"（成功者的快乐秘诀）中文：成功者的快乐秘诀9. "The Power of Vulnerability"（脆弱的力量）中文：脆弱的力量10. "How to Win at the Game of Life"（如何在生活中获胜）中文：如何在生活中获胜以上只是部分TED 演讲的中英文对照，如果您需要其他演讲的中英文对照，可以告诉我。
Ted演讲稿子脆弱地力量
Brene Brown： The power of vulnerabilitySo, I'll start with this: a couple years ago, an event planner called me because I was going to do a speaking event. And she called, and she said, "I'm really struggling with how to write about you on the little flier." And I thought, "Well, what's the struggle?" And she said, "Well, I saw you speak, and I'm going to call you a researcher, I think, but I'm afraid if I call you a researcher, no one will come, because they'll think you're boring and irrelevant." (Laughter)And I was like, "Okay." And she said, "But the thing I liked about your talk is you're a storyteller. So I think what I'll do is just call you a storyteller." And of course, the academic, insecure part of me was like, "You're going to call me a what?" And she said, "I'm going to call you a storyteller." And I was like, "Why not magic pixie?" (Laughter) I was like, "Let me think about this for a second." I tried to call deep on my courage. And I thought, you know, I am a storyteller. I'm a qualitative researcher. I collect stories; that's what I do. And maybe stories are just data with a soul. And maybe I'm just a storyteller. And so I said, "You know what? Why don't you just say I'm a researcher-storyteller." And she went, "Haha.There's no such thing."(Laughter) So I'm a researcher-storyteller, and I'm going to talk to you today -- we're talking about expanding perception -- and so I want to talk to you and tell some stories about a piece of my research that fundamentally expanded my perception and really actually changed the way that I live and love and work and parent.And this is where my story starts. When I was a young researcher, doctoral student, my first year I had a research professor who said to us, "Here's the thing, if you cannot measure it, it does not exist." And I thought he was just sweet-talking me. I was like, "Really?" and he was like, "Absolutely." And so you have to understand that I have a bachelor's in social work, a master's in social work, and I was getting my Ph.D. in social work, so my entire academic career was surrounded by people who kind of believed in the "life's messy, love it." And I'm more of the, "life's messy, clean it up, organize it and put it into a bento box." (Laughter) And so to think that I had found my way, to found a career that takes me -- really, one of the big sayings in social work is, "Lean into the discomfort of the work." And I'm like, knock discomfort upside the head andmove it over and get all A's. That was my mantra. So I was very excited about this. And so I thought, you know what, this is the career for me, because I am interested in some messy topics. But I want to be able to make them not messy. I want to understand them. I want to hack into these things I know are important and lay the code out for everyone to see.So where I started was with connection. Because, by the time you're a social worker for 10 years, what you realize is that connection is why we're here. It's what gives purpose and meaning to our lives. This is what it's all about. It doesn't matter whether you talk to peoplewho work in social justice and mental health and abuse and neglect, what we know is that connection, the ability to feel connected, is -- neurobiologically that's how we're wired -- it's why we're here. So I thought, you know what, I'm going to start with connection. Well, you know that situation where you get an evaluation from your boss, and she tells you 37 things you do really awesome, and one thing -- an "opportunity for growth?" (Laughter) And all you can think about is that opportunity for growth, right? Well, apparently this is the way my work went as well, because, when you ask people about love, they tell you about heartbreak. When you ask peopleabout belonging, they'll tell you their most excruciating experiences of being excluded. And when you ask people about connection, the stories they told me were about disconnection.So very quickly -- really about six weeks into this research -- I ran into this unnamed thing that absolutely unraveled connection in a way that I didn't understand or had never seen. And so I pulled back out of the research and thought, I need to figure out what this is. And it turned out to be shame. And shame is really easily understood as the fear of disconnection: Is there something about me that, if other people know it or see it, that I won't be worthy of connection? The things I can tell you about it: it's universal; we all have it. The only people who don't experience shame have no capacity for human empathy or connection. No one wants to talk about it, and the less you talk about it the more you have it. What underpinned this shame, this "I'm not good enough," -- which we all know that feeling: "I'm not blank enough. I'm not thin enough, rich enough, beautiful enough, smart enough, promoted enough." The thing that underpinned this was excruciatingvulnerability, this idea of, in order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen. And you know how I feel about vulnerability. I hate vulnerability. And so I thought, this is my chance to beat it back with my measuring stick. I'm going in, I'm going to figure this stuff out,I'm going to spend a year, I'm going to totally deconstruct shame, I'm going to understand how vulnerability works, and I'm going to outsmart it. So I was ready, and I was really excited.As you know, it's not going to turn out well. (Laughter) You know this. So, I could tell you a lot about shame, but I'd have to borrow everyone else's time. But here's what I can tell you that it boils down to -- and this may be one of the most important things that I've ever learned in the decade of doing this research. My one year turned into six years: thousands of stories,hundreds of long interviews, focus groups. At one point, people were sending me journal pagesand sending me their stories -- thousands of pieces of data in six years. And I kind of got a handle on it.I kind of understood, this is what shame is, this is how it works. I wrote a book, I published a theory, but somethingwas not okay -- and what it was is that, if I roughly took the people I interviewed and divided them into people who really have a sense of worthiness -- that's what this comes down to, a sense of worthiness -- they have a strong sense of love and belonging --and folks who struggle for it, and folks who are always wondering if they're good enough.There was only one variable that separated the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging and the people who really struggle for it. And that was, the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they're worthy of love and belonging. That's it.They believe they're worthy. And to me, the hard part of the one thing that keeps us out of connection is our fear that we're not worthy of connection, was something that, personally and professionally, I felt like I needed to understand better. So what I did is I took all of the interviews where I saw worthiness, where I saw people living that way, and just looked at those.What do these people have in common? I have a slight office supply addiction, but that's another talk. So I had a manila folder, and I had a Sharpie, and I was like, what am I going to call this research? And the first words that came to mymind were whole-hearted. These are whole-hearted people, living from this deep sense of worthiness. So I wrote at the top of the manila folder, and I started looking at the data. In fact, I did it first in a four-day very intensive data analysis, where I went back, pulled these interviews, pulled the stories, pulled the incidents.What's the theme? What's the pattern? My husband left town with the kids because I always go into this Jackson Pollock crazy thing, where I'm just like writing and in my researcher mode.And so here's what I found. What they had in common was a sense of courage. And I want to separate courage and bravery for you for a minute. Courage, the original definition of courage,when it first came into the English language -- it's from the Latin word cor, meaning heart --and the original definition was to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. And so these folks had, very simply, the courage to be imperfect. They had the compassion to be kind to themselves first and then to others, because, as it turns out, we can't practice compassion with other people if we can't treat ourselves kindly. And the last was they had connection, and -- this was the hard part -- as a result of authenticity, they were willing to let go of who they thoughtthey should be in order to be who they were, which you have to absolutely do thatfor connection.The other thing that they had in common was this: They fully embraced vulnerability. They believed that what made them vulnerable made them beautiful. They didn't talk about vulnerability being comfortable, nor did they really talk about it being excruciating -- as I had heard it earlier in the shame interviewing. They just talked about it being necessary. They talked about the willingness to say, "I love you" first, the willingness to do something where there are no guarantees, the willingness to breathe through waiting for the doctor to call after your mammogram. They're willing to invest in a relationship that may or may not work out.They thought this was fundamental.I personally thought it was betrayal. I could not believe I had pledged allegiance to research, where our job -- you know, the definition of research is to control and predict, to study phenomena, for the explicit reason to control and predict. And now my mission to control and predict had turned up the answer that the way to live is with vulnerability and to stop controlling and predicting. Thisled to a little breakdown -- (Laughter) -- which actually looked more like this. (Laughter) And it did. I call it a breakdown; my therapist calls it a spiritual awakening. A spiritual awakening sounds better than breakdown, but I assure you it was a breakdown. And I had to put my data away and go find a therapist. Let me tell you something: you know who you are when you call your friends and say, "I think I need to see somebody.Do you have any recommendations?" Because about five of my friends were like, "Wooo. I wouldn't want to be your therapist." (Laughter) I was like, "What does that mean?" And they're like, "I'm just saying, you know. Don't bring your measuring stick." I was like, "Okay."So I found a therapist. My first meeting with her, Diana -- I brought in my list of the way the whole-hearted live, and I sat down. And she said, "How are you?" And I said, "I'm great. I'm okay." She said, "What's going on?" And this is a therapist who sees therapists, because we have to go to those, because their B.S. meters are good. (Laughter) And so I said, "Here's the thing, I'm struggling." And she said, "What's the struggle?" And I said, "Well, I have a vulnerability issue. And I know that vulnerability is the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness, butit appears that it's also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love. And I think I have a problem, and I need some help." And I said, "But here's the thing: no family stuff, no childhood shit." (Laughter) "I just need some strategies." (Laughter) (Applause)Thank you. So she goes like this. (Laughter) And then I said, "It's bad, right?" And she said, "It's neither good nor bad." (Laughter) "It just is what it is." And I said, "Oh my God, this is going to suck."(Laughter)And it did, and it didn't. And it took about a year. And you know how there are people that, when they realize that vulnerability and tenderness are important, that they surrender and walk into it. A: that's not me, and B: I don't even hang out with people like that. (Laughter) For me, it was a yearlong street fight. It was a slugfest. Vulnerability pushed, I pushed back. I lost the fight, but probably won my life back.And so then I went back into the research and spent the next couple of years really trying to understand what they, the whole-hearted, what choices they were making, and what arewe doing with vulnerability. Why do we struggle with it so much? Am I alone in struggling with vulnerability? No. So this is what I learned. We numb vulnerability -- when we're waiting for the call. It was funny, I sent something out on Twitter and on Facebook that says, "How would you define vulnerability? What makes you feel vulnerable?" And within an hour and a half, I had 150 responses. Because I wanted to know what's out there. Having to ask my husband for help because I'm sick, and we're newly married; initiating sex with my husband; initiating sex with my wife; being turned down; asking someone out; waiting for the doctor to call back;getting laid off; laying off people -- this is the world we live in. We live in a vulnerable world. And one of the ways we deal with it is we numb vulnerability.And I think there's evidence -- and it's not the only reason this evidence exists, but I think it's a huge cause -- we are the most in-debt, obese, addicted and medicated adult cohort in U.S. history. The problem is -- and I learned this from the research -- that you cannot selectively numb emotion. You can't say, here's the bad stuff. Here's vulnerability, here's grief, here's shame, here's fear, here's disappointment. I don't want to feel these. I'm goingto have a couple of beers and a banana nut muffin. (Laughter) I don't want to feel these. And I know that's knowing laughter. I hack into your lives for a living. God. (Laughter) You can't numb those hard feelings without numbing the other affects, our emotions. You cannot selectively numb. So when we numb those, we numb joy, we numb gratitude, we numb happiness. And then we are miserable, and we are looking for purpose and meaning, and then we feel vulnerable, so then we have a couple of beers and a banana nut muffin. And it becomes this dangerous cycle.One of the things that I think we need to think about is why and how we numb. And it doesn't just have to be addiction. The other thing we do is we make everything that's uncertain certain. Religion has gone from a belief in faith and mystery to certainty. I'm right, you're wrong. Shut up. That's it. Just certain. The more afraid we are, the more vulnerable we are, the more afraid we are. This is what politics looks like today. There's no discourse anymore. There's no conversation. There's just blame. You know how blame is described in the research? A way to discharge pain and discomfort. We perfect. If there's anyone who wantstheir life to look like this, it would be me, but it doesn't work. Because what we do is we take fat from our butts and put it in our cheeks. (Laughter) Which just, I hope in 100 years, people will look back and go, "Wow."(Laughter)And we perfect, most dangerously, our children. Let me tell you what we think about children.They're hardwired for struggle when they get here. And when you hold those perfect little babies in your hand, our job is not to say, "Look at her, she's perfect. My job is just to keep her perfect -- make sure she makes the tennis team by fifth grade and Yale by seventh grade."That's not our job. Our job is to look and say, "You know what? You're imperfect, and you're wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging." That's our job. Show me a generation of kids raised like that, and we'll end the problems I think that we see today. We pretend that what we do doesn't have an effect on people. We do that in our personal lives.We do that corporate -- whether it's a bailout, an oil spill, a recall -- we pretend like what we're doing doesn't have a huge impact on other people. I would say to companies, this is not our first rodeo, people. We just needyou to be authentic and real and say, "We're sorry. We'll fix it."But there's another way, and I'll leave you with this. This is what I have found: to let ourselves be seen, deeply seen, vulnerably seen; to love with our whole hearts, even though there's no guarantee -- and that's really hard, and I can tell you as a parent, that's excruciatingly difficult -- to practice gratitude and joy in those moments of terror, when we're wondering, "Can I love you this much? Can I believe in this this passionately? Can I be this fierce about this?" just to be able to stop and, instead of catastrophizing what might happen, to say, "I'm just so grateful, because to feel this vulnerable means I'm alive." And the last, which I think is probably the most important, is to believe that we're enough. Because when we work from a place, I believe, that says, "I'm enough," then we stop screaming and start listening, we're kinder and gentler to the people around us, and we're kinder and gentler to ourselves.That's all I have. Thank you.(Applause)。