英语笑话或小故事 短点并带哲理
英文幽默哲理小故事
英文幽默哲理小故事英文幽默哲理小故事哲理主要探讨人生的目的、价值、意义、态度等，相比理论化、系统化的哲学而言，它的表现形式通常是智慧箴言式。
下面是小编整理的英文幽默哲理小故事，欢迎阅览。
1、现在我要表现得像一位女士One day womens dresses were on sale at a department store.A dignified middle-aged man decided to pick a dress for his wife, but soon he found himself being battered by frantic women.一天，一家百货公司的`女装大减价，一位高贵的中年男士想给他的太太挑选一件女装。
但是，没过多久，他就发现自己已被疯狂的女人们撞得踉踉跄跄。
He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowd.他竭力地忍耐着。
后来，他低下头，挥舞双臂，挤过人群。
"You there!" challenged a thrilling voice. "Cant you act like a gentleman?"“你干嘛?”有人尖声叫道，“你难道不能表现得像一位绅士吗?”"Listen," he said. "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."“听着，”他说。
“我已经像绅士一样表现了一个小时了。
从现在起，我要表现得像一位女士。
”2、晚饭后我从不工作A penny-pinching farmer didn’t want his hired hand to stop working. One morning, he told the farmhand, “It’s such a nuisance to come in from the field, wash up for lunch and take time to eat. Why don’t we save time and eat lunch now?”The hired man agreed. The farm’s wife brought in some cold meat and fried potatoes, and the two men ate again.When they had finished, the cheap farmer said, “While we’re still at the table, let’s have supper too.” They were now served steak, boiled potatoes and mixed vegetables, and they ate once more.“Now that the meals are out of the way, ” the farmer announced, “we can go out and work all day without interruption. ”“Oh, no,” the farmhand answered. “I never work after supper.”一位农场主非常吝啬，不想让他雇佣的帮手停下来休息。
超短的英语笑话带翻译笑死
超短的英语笑话带翻译笑死一直以来民间的笑话、笑料题材，比比皆是，可以汇编成专集。
小编精心收集了超短的英语笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!超短的英语笑话带翻译篇1Two boys are talking with each other.两个孩子正在交谈。
"You see, in the old times there were no electricity, no radios, no televisions. How could ourancestors survive?"“你想，古代没有电，没有收音机，也没有电视。
我们的祖先怎么能活着呢?”"So they all died."“所以他们都死了。
”超短的英语笑话带翻译篇2Jenny's papa bought her a pair of new trousers, but it couldn't be worn as it shrank in the wash. Her mother got angry.詹妮的爸爸给她新买了一条裤子，但刚一下水就缩得不能穿了。
她的妈妈非常生气。
But Jenny said. "Mama, I can wear it if you have me a bath."詹妮却说：“妈妈，你给我洗个澡，我就能穿了。
”超短的英语笑话带翻译篇3The neighbor often borrowed my inflator.邻居经常借我家的打气筒。
One day, my four-year-old daughter suddenly told me:"Papa, what shall we do if the air of our inflator is used up?"有一天，4岁的女儿突然告诉我说：“爸爸，我们的打气筒里面的气用完了怎么办?”超短的英语笑话带翻译篇4"Mama, why does the puppy drink the water in the slot?"“妈妈，小狗为什么要喝水沟里的水?”"Because it's thirsty."“因为它渴了。
短的英语笑话故事大全（精选10篇）
短的英语笑话故事大全（精选10篇）笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。
大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象，具有讽刺性和娱乐性。
其趣味有高下之分。
接下来由小编为大家整理出短的英语笑话故事大全（精选10篇），仅供参考，希望能够帮助到大家！短的英语笑话故事1Where is your beard?After many years, a young Jewish Talmud student who had left the old country for America returns to visit the family. "But--where is your beard?" asks his mother upon seeing him. "Mama," he replies, "in America, nobody wears a beard." "But at least you keep the Sabbath?" "Mama, business is business. In America, everybody works on the Sabbath." "But kosher food you still eat?" "Mama, in America, it is very difficult to keep kosher." The old lady ponders this information and then leans over and whispers in his ear, "Isaac, tell me--you’re still circumcised?"短的英语笑话故事2They Didnt Have Nikes In Those DaysA young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him, "Ill make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study the bible a little, and get your hair cut, then well talk about it."A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if he could use the car. His father said, "Son, Im really proud of you. You brought your grades up, studied the bible well, but you didnt get your hair cut!"The young man waited a moment and then replied, "You know dad, Ive been thinking about that. Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair."His father replied, "Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went."短的英语笑话故事3Polly Want a WHAT?This lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.""What do they say?" the priest asked."They only know how to say, Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?""Thats terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "But I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two talking female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots who I have taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship.""Thank you," said the lady.The next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priests house. The priests two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage.The lady puts her female talking parrots in with the male talking parrots and the female parrots say, "Hi, we are prostitutes! Do you want to have some fun?"One male parrot looks over to the other male parrot and screams, "Frank! Put the Bibles away--our prayers have been answered!"短的英语笑话故事4Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to Chinafromher visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directlyfromAmerica."短的英语笑话故事5Midway TacticsThree competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".短的'英语笑话故事6Five Months OlderThe Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s p apers, he was surprised."How old are you?" he said."Eighteen, sir," said John."But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?""Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."短的英语笑话故事7West PointMy father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point."短的英语笑话故事8Be Careful What You Wish ForA couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.Next, it was the husband‘s turn. He paused for a moment, then sa id shyly, "Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.短的英语笑话故事9Napoleon Was IllJack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year."He‘s a good boy," said Jack‘s father, "and if you let him pass this time, I‘m sure he‘ll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.""No, n o, that‘s quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn‘t know!""Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack‘s father. "You see, I‘m afraid we don‘t take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."短的英语笑话故事10He Was Only Wrong by TwoJack Hawkins was the football coach at an Amercian college, and he was always trying to find good players, but they weren‘t always smart enought to be acce pted by the college.One day the coach brought an excellent young player to the dean of the college and asked that the student be allowed to enter without an examination. "Well," the dean said after some persuasion, "I‘d better ask him a few questions first."Then he turned to the student and asked him some very easy questions, but the student didn‘t know any of the answers.At last the dean said, "Well, what‘s five times seven?"The student thought for a long time and then answered, "Thirty-six."The dean threw up his hands and looked at the coach in despair, but the coach said earnestly, "Oh, please let him in, sir! He was only wrong by two."。
英语小笑话段子
英语小笑话段子话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。
小编精心收集了短篇英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习!短篇英语笑话篇1A Woman's Answer女人的回答A husband said to his wife,一位丈夫对妻子说："Why did God create women to be beautiful but foolish?"“为什么上帝把女人创造得如此美丽却又愚蠢呢?”"Well," his wife answered at once.“噢，”他的妻子立刻回答道，"The reason is very simple.“原因很简单。
God made us beautiful so men would love us;上帝使我们如此美丽，男人才会爱我们。
God made us foolish so we would marry them."上帝使我们如此愚蠢，我们才会嫁给他们。
”短篇英语笑话篇2你知道我是谁吗?It was the final examination for a Biology course at a university.这是一所大学的生物课期末考试。
It was designed to weed out some students.考试旨在淘汰部分学生。
The examination was two hours long.考试时间为两小时。
After the exam booklets were provided, the professor told the class，分发试题册后，教授对学生们说，that any exam booklet that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be acceptedand the student would fail.两小时结束后任何没交的试题册他都不再接收，没交的学生一律不及格。
超简短的英文笑话
超简短的英文笑话超简短的英文笑话（精选5篇）超简短的英文笑话1On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.在观看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上，幼儿园老师问学生的观后感。
班上最小的女孩说，她希望舞蹈演员可以长得更高一点儿，那么他们就不用整天踮着脚尖了。
超简短的英文笑话2Professor: When is your birthday?Kid: May 30.Professor: Which year?Kid: Every year.教授：你的生日是什么时候?孩子：5月30日。
教授：哪一年?孩子：每年都是。
超简短的英文笑话3Before the final examination, T om told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that Id passed todays exam.""Dont trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied."Then I do hope Ill fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.在期末考试之前，汤姆告诉他的母亲：“妈妈，我昨天晚上做了一个梦，梦见我通过了今天的考试。
关于英文笑话故事5篇_英语的笑话故事简短
关于英文笑话故事5篇_英语的笑话故事简短关于英文笑话故事5篇关于英文笑话故事篇一alieMom:"Whichbananadoyouwant,Victor"Victor:"Iwantthatoneofthegr eatet."Mom:"Victor,youhouldbepolite,tohavethatlittleone."Victor: "Mom,Imutlietobepolite"妈妈：“你要哪一只香蕉，维克多”维克多：“我要那只最大的。
”妈妈：“维克多，你应该懂礼貌，要那只小的。
”维克多：“妈妈，难道懂礼貌就必须说谎吗”关于英文笑话故事篇二TwoBird两只鸟Teacher:Herearetwobird,oneiawallow,theotheriparrow.Nowwhocantell uwhichiwhichStudent:IcannotpointoutbutIknowtheanwer.Teacher:Plea etellu.Student:Thewallowibeidetheparrowandtheparrowibeidethewall ow.老师：这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。
谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
关于英文笑话故事篇三WhoItheLaziet谁最懒Father:Well,Tom,Iakedtoyourteachertoday,andnowIwanttoakyouaqueti on.WhoithelazietperoninyourclaTom:Idon"tknow,father.Father:Oh,ye,youdo!Think!Whenotherboyandgirlaredoingandwriting,whoitinthecla andonlywatchehowotherpeopleworkTom:Ourteacher,father.父亲：哎，汤姆，今天我跟你们老师谈过，现在我想问你个问题。
励志简单的英文笑话带翻译
励志简单的英文笑话带翻译笑话,顾名思义,是一种通过幽默的文字或图示来达到令人会心一笑或捧腹大笑效果的文学形式。
小编精心收集了励志简单的英文笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!励志简单的英文笑话带翻译篇1Two robbers were robbing a hotel.两个盗贼在一家旅馆偷东西。
The first robber said, "I hear sirens. Jump!"第一个说：“我听到警报响了，快跳吧!”The second one said, "But we're on the 13 th floor!"第二个说：“但是我们现在在第13层啊!”The first one screamed back, "This is no time to be superstitious!"第一个尖叫着回敬他：“都什么时候了，还这么迷信!”励志简单的英文笑话带翻译篇2A man walks into a bar and orders a beer.一男子去酒吧，点了一杯啤酒。
He takes his first sip and sets it down.他喝了一口放下。
While he is looking around the bar,当他环视酒吧时，a monkey swings down发现一只猴子荡下来，and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey.在他阻止之前，偷走了啤酒。
The man asks the barman who owns the monkey.该男子问酒吧招待，这只猴子是谁的。
The barman replies the piano player.服务员回答说是钢琴手的。
The man walks over to the piano player and says "Do you know your monkey stole my beer."男子走到钢琴手面前问：“你知道你的猴子偷了我的啤酒吗?”The pianist replies "No, but if you hum it, I'll play it."钢琴手回答说：“没有，但是如果你能哼唱，我会为你演奏的。
英语幽默小故事10篇
英语幽默小故事10篇【引言】学习英语的过程中，阅读幽默小故事不仅能够提高我们的语言能力，还能让我们在轻松愉快的氛围中领略到英语文化的魅力。
下面，就让我们一起来欣赏10篇英语幽默小故事，并在快乐中学习吧！【故事1】Once upon a time, there was a man named Jack who had a peculiar habit of always forgetting his keys.One day, he locked himself out of his house again.Instead of calling a locksmith, he decided to break into his own house through the window.As he was climbing in, he suddenly realized that he had left his keys inside the house!幽默点：Jack忘记带钥匙的习惯以及他试图通过窗户进入自己家的荒谬行为让人捧腹大笑。
【故事2】Mike was a terrible cook.One day, he decided to make dinner for his girlfriend.He spent hours in the kitchen, and when he finally served the meal, it was completely inedible.His girlfriend asked him, "What did you make?" Mike replied, "Well, it"s not quite soup, and it"s not quite stew, but you can call it "soupstew"!"幽默点：Mike的创新菜名“soupstew”让人忍俊不禁，体现了他的幽默感。