经典美剧《老友记》-第九季-第十五集-字幕-对白-纯英文-看美剧学英语

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经典美剧《老友记》-第九季-第三集-字幕-对白-纯英文-看美剧学英语

So, what's the big news you had us rush all the way over here for?It took you 45 minutes to cross a street.Come on, guys. It's just one baby.Oh, sure, now you guys clam up.Our news. My company has asked me to head up our office in Tulsa.So as of Monday, I'm being officially relocated.- Oh, my God! - What? Monday?- How long do you have to go for? - They said it could be up to a year.- A year? - Well, do you have to go?Well, I kind of have to, don't I?Because of this stupid thing.There's nothing like the support of your loving wife, huh?Wait a minute. Wait, you can't go to Tulsa.Maybe you forgot, but we have tickets to the Jets game next week!I'm sorry, but I don't think I'll be able to make it.But we were gonna go see the Jets!You can't go. I mean, you're the glue that holds this group together.- Really? - Not you.This whole thing is gonna be okay.They said they'd rent us a house in the suburbs. You guys can come and visit. Oh, God, that is so not gonna happen.I can't believe you guys are moving.- I call their apartment! - No!The One With The Pediatrician25You know what? I'm not even sure I can have caffeine.I went through this with Ben and Carol. One coffee won't affect your milk. Just to be sure, I'm gonna call Dr. Wiener.Every time?You don't have to call him whenever you have a question, okay?- Trust me. I know this. - All right. I trust you.I can see you dialing. I don't understand why..I'm on the phone! Dr. Wiener?It's so weird seeing Ross and Rachel with a baby. It's just so grownup.I know, yeah. I feel like we're all growing up.觉得好像我们都一起长大了A person named "Wiener." God, that kills me.- Look at you all grownup. - Well, actually, you know what?I am, you know?Well, that whole thing with Rachel made me realize..that maybe I'm ready for a more serious relationship, you know?Like, I'd like to meet a nice, mature, commitment-minded lady.And looks aren't as important as..Nah, she's gotta be hot.You know, I might know somebody.How about you set me up with someone, and we double-date?I can do that. Yeah. How's Friday?- Done! - All right.Good, really? Okay, let's see.All right.You know who's great? Sandy Poopack."Poopack"?Yeah. All right. Well, that rules out Lana Titwyler.- I've got good news. - You got out of the whole Tulsa thing?Okay, I have news.You don't have to move to Tulsa. You can stay here and keep your job. That's great! How?My boss and I worked out a deal where I'm in Tulsa four days a week.So the other three, I can be here with you.So you're gonna be gone four days a week?No.I'm sorry, are you just used to saying that?No. I can't be away from you for that long.- Really? - Yeah, you're my husband.I won't live in a different state than you for 208 days out of the year.That's fast math. We could use you in Tulsa.Thanks for trying to figure out a way, but if you go to Tulsa, I go with you. You said that without gagging.I know!Well, excuse me?Oh, yeah? Well, up yours too!- Who the hell was that? - Dr. Wiener.Rach, you can't call people at 3:00 in the morning.You know what? You sound just like his wife.Was there anything even wrong with Emma?Yes, of course there is! Okay? I'm not insane.What was it?Hiccups.I told you, you can't call him every time any little thing comes up.Well, not anymore I can't. He fired us!Can you believe that?I could believe it if he came here and hit you over the head with a copy of Highlights. What are we gonna do? We have to find a pediatrician.Wait, Monica said that when you guys were growing up..you liked your doctor. What was his name?Dr. Gettleman?Yeah, no, I don't think that's a good idea.In fact, I think he's dead.Why does everything happen to me?I promise, first thing tomorrow, we'll find another doctor.But I gotta get up early, and I'm not feeling well.You're not feeling well? What do you have? Rubella?Because don't go near Emma, she has not had that shot.You know, come to think of it, it does feel rubella-like.Wiener!Wiener! Wiener! Wiener!Rachel!Great! Now he's gonna know it was me!And the kung pao chicken.Utensils and plates for one.And can you read the order back to me?Great.Yeah. Okay, thanks. Bye.So how is this for our big double date tonight?Oh, my God.Great. Just the reaction I was hoping for.Yeah, so you found someone for me? You didn't forget?Of course not. And you'll love Mary Ellen.She's really smart and cute and funny and..I can't tell you how I know this, but she is not opposed to threesomes.All right.- So tell me something about my guy. - No.Come on, give me something. What's his name?I'm not sure I understand the question.What do they call him?- Mike. - Mike. Okay, what's his last name?Damn it! Is there no mystery left in romance anymore?!We'll see you and Mike at the restaurant in a couple hours.All right, great. See you. Bye-bye.Why'd I have to say Mike? I don't know a Mike! Why couldn't I have said..? There's no guys in there!So this is being a parent, huh?I think I can handle this.Too intense. Too intense.Well, I did it.I told my crew at the restaurant I'm heading off to Tulsa.- Oh, yeah? How'd they take it. - Pretty well. Yeah.They were brave little soldiers.Did their best to be stoic.Some of them even high-fived each other to mask their pain.It's impossible to find a good doctor. How do you know the good ones.. from the ones who'll push their penis against your knee?Excuse me?I know what she's talking about.You probably also had the piano teacher with the wandering hands. Well, we've gotta find a new pediatrician.Ross was getting sick last night, and Emma may have caught it.- Why don't you see Dr. Gettleman? - Ross said he died.He didn't die. I just saw his daughter last week.She said he was fine. Her, on the other hand, botched Botox.Great. Well then, I'm gonna take Emma to see him.I wonder why Ross said that he died?Maybe he confused him with his childhood therapist.He saw a therapist?He used to have a recurring nightmare. It freaked him out.Wow, what was it?That I was going to eat him.Mike!Yeah?Okay.I can't believe I'm doing this with you.Although I did just end a nine-year relationship..so I should be open to taking some risks.That's good. Get all that boring stuff out now.Everything is gonna be fine. Follow my lead, okay?All you have to do is pretend to be Mike.- I am Mike. - Attaboy.Here they come.- I'm Phoebe. - Phoebe. Mike. How you doing?- Nice to meet you. - Joey, this is Mary Ellen Jenkins.So, Mike, how do you and Joey know each other, anyway?How do Joey and I know each other?If I had a nickel for every time somebody's asked me that.- From school. - We met in college.I mean high school.You guys go way back, then. So, what are you up to these days?- Well, I'm a lawyer. - Mike, attorney at law!- Actually, I just gave up my practice. - What?That's the kind of thing you usually run by me.I want to play piano professionally. If I don't do this now, I never will. Great. I like that better than the lawyer thing.Which is why I waited until now to introduce you to Mike.You thought he was still a lawyer.No, that's not what I meant. Let's get you a cocktail.What are you doing?Looking for restaurant jobs for you in Tulsa.That's so sweet. Did you find anything?- Slim Pickins. - Nothing, huh?No. Slim Pickins. It's a barbecue joint.They're looking for a cook. Actually, "cook" may be a bit of a stretch. They're looking for somebody to shovel mesquite."Slim Pickins"? That is so cheesy.Well, So Cheesy also has an opening.Honey, that's okay. I know this woman, Nancy..who's a restaurant biz headhunter. She may know something.Can I say how much I appreciate you coming with me?When we get to Tulsa, I am taking you for a great dinner at Slim Pickins. So Cheesy?Whole Hog?It's gonna be tough to keep kosher in Tulsa.Hi, Nancy? Hi, it's Monica Geller.I'm good. Listen, I'm looking for a job in Tulsa.Yeah, well, my husband's been relocated.Because I love him.No, I don't want a job in New York.Javu's looking? Oh, my God!He asked for me personally? Oh, my God!Wow, this is really, really flattering.But I'm moving to Tulsa.So, just, if you would tell Javu..I'll take it!My name's Rachel Greene. I have an appointment for Emma.Dr. Gettleman is finishing up with a patient. He'll be out shortly.I think you just have a cold. It's definitely not strep.Thanks, doctor.- Would you like a lollipop? - Do you even have to ask?He is alive!It's so surprising that you and Joey have known each other for so long..and I've never heard about you.That's because we had a bit of a falling out.Mike hit my mom with a car.- No, I didn't. - That's okay. I have forgiven you.Now we're friends again, and everything's great.Well, wait. Is your mom okay?Please, we're trying to have a conversation.You're a lot nicer on Days of Our Lives.Days of Our Lives! That's why you look so familiar!- What? - What?What?Do you not know each other?Of course we do. He's playing a game we used to play in high school.We pretend we don't know each other. We played all kinds of games.You remember that one where I punch you in the face for not being cool? Let me ask you something: How many sisters does Joey have?- Six. - No, he doesn't. He has seven.What are you doing? I said seven!Joey, why did you set me up with a stranger?Because I forgot about our date. I'm so sorry.I'm sorry too. And just to be clear, I didn't hit his mother with a car. Although I'd like to be hit by one right now.Yeah, no problem.You are unbelievable. I spent so much time finding the perfect girl for you. Mary Ellen is really smart and cute and loose.嘿！Who are you kidding?You find some guy off the street for me?God, this is humiliating!I'm so sorry. If you don't like this guy, I can find you a better one. Mike? Mike?I'm out of here.It was nice meeting you.- You're leaving too? - I'll stay if you can tell me my name.Have a good night.We leave tomorrow, and you still have a lot to pack.You're right.Maybe I shouldn't go.What?So Nancy told me about this job at this great restaurant, Javu?But it's just a little outside of Tulsa.Well, how far outside?Manhattan?And you're thinking of taking it?Before, you said that being with me was more important than any job. But I guess now it's old job, me, new job.I'm gonna miss this hand!I know this is a lot to ask..but, my God, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.What happened to "you can't live without me four days a week"? Well, if you really think about it, I mean, four days is not that long.I see you Monday before you go to work..and Thursday when you get back..and I always work late on Tuesdays, so really if you think about it..it's really just one day.And well, if we can't make it one day, we got real problems, my friend.- I think you should take the job. - Really?I know it must be important to you when you start chattering like a monkey. That's the nicest thing anybody's ever said to me.It's your dream job. I can't make you pass it up.Besides, I'm proud of you.- You are? - Yeah.And when I get to Tulsa and people say, "Where's the missus"..I'll tell them she's a chef at Javu.And then, when they stare at me blankly..I'll make some offensive Tulsa joke, and thus, begin my isolation.- How was the pediatrician? - I really liked him.Yeah, yeah. It was really, really, really good.- You promised not to say anything. - I know.Ross still sees his pediatrician!I don't care.Are you serious? You still see Dr. Gettleman?He is a brilliant diagnostician!Diagnostician or boo-boo fixer?Seriously, you gotta go to an appropriate doctor.And not an orthodontist..not a gynecologist..and not a veterinarian..Why? I know it's a little weird, but he is a great doctor, okay?He knows my medical history.And every time I go in there, he makes a big deal.You know, "Look, it's my favorite patient."Does he say that before he sticks his thermometer in your tushy?I seem to remember someone bringing his security blanket to college. That was not a security blanket. That was a wall hanging.It didn't spend much time on the wall!Excuse me.Hi. I was hoping to run into you. Can we talk?Sure.Yeah. There's someone I want you to meet.This is my best friend from high school.I'm sorry, I don't think I know you.How hard was that?Look, I'm sorry, really. I'm so embarrassed.Please.Really, I'm a pretty nice guy. Just ask my parole officer. Apparently, I'm not a funny guy.Well, why did you go along with that?Because I was told that I'd get a free dinner, which I didn't.And that I'd meet a pretty girl, which I did.That's true.Well, is anything you told me about yourself true?My name is Mike. And I do play piano.- Prove it. - There isn't a piano here.That wouldn't stand in the way of a true pianist.Okay.You are really good.- I play a little guitar myself. - Really? That's great.- What kind of music do you play? - Like acoustic, folksy stuff, you know? But right now I'm working on a couple lron Maiden covers.Do you think that, maybe, sometime, I could..It's okay. Go ahead, ask me out.Okay. You think, maybe, sometime I could take you out?You just caught me off guard.Yeah, that would be nice.Look at this! My two best friends!Excuse me. I don't mean to be a jerk..but the baby with the rash came in after me.- The doctor will be right with you, sir. - I hear you..but do you have any harder puzzles?Mommy, I can't find Waldo.What page are you on?What, the circus? He's behind the elephant.Wow. So your child's a big fan of the Waldo books too?Yeah, that's how I know.- I'm Ross, by the way. - Hi, I'm Sally.So no ring. Can I assume you're also a single parent?- I am a single parent. - It's hard, isn't it?There's no time for a social life. Where are you gonna meet someone?- Well.. - Mommy, I can't..Sea shore? Row boat.Let's say, I don't know, you met someone in the pediatrician's office. Rossie? We're ready for you.Yeah..Come on, Ross Jr. It's time to go in.Mommy.Mommy, what's wrong with that man?Hey, I helped you find Waldo!- Good, you haven't left yet. - Where have you been?I got held up at Dr. Gettleman's office.There was some guy that freaked everybody out.I don't think I'm going back there.You got here just in time. I really have to go, buddy.Oh, man.- Promise to call me when you land? - Of course I will. I love you.I love you too.Watch the tongue, people. We got a baby over here.- Bye, Chandler. - Bye.- Bye, honey. - Bye.- What's the matter, Joe? - I'm mad at you for leaving.You know, you're nothing but a big leaver.A big leaver with a stupid suitcase.Any chance you're trying to pick a fight to make all of this easier? Dude, you see right through me!Okay, well.. Bye, Mon.Bye, Ross. Rachel.- Bye, Emma. - Okay, bye-bye.Have a good trip. Okay. Oh, my God. Wait.It goes old job..new job..and you.This is just something I have to do.I know.I love you so much.I know that too.Don't worry. I'll be back before you know it. Yes, it will be the same.Because I know, that's how.I promise.You double promise?Call me when you land.- Can I talk now? - Okay, bye.- Joey! - He had to board.。

经典美剧《老友记》-第一季-第十五集-字幕-对白-中英文对照-看美剧学英语

- Coffee. - Thank you. -咖啡 -谢谢- Cappuccino. - Grazie. -卡布其诺 -谢谢[意大利语]And a nice, hot cider for Monica. 这杯美味的热苹果汁是莫妮卡的Thank you. 谢谢Rach, why does my cinnamon stick have an eraser? 瑞秋为何我的肉桂棒上有橡皮擦That's why. 原来是这样Sorry. 对不起Chandler? 钱德勒Miss Tedlock, you look lovely today. 泰洛克小姐你今天真漂亮May I say that is a very flattering sleeve length on you. 我能说你这袖口长度真显身材吗Mr. Costilick would like you to stop by his office today.科斯特力克先生希望你下班后到他办公室去If it's about those prank memos, 如果他是为搞笑备忘录的事I had nothing to do with them, really. 那绝不是我干的真的Hey, you guys! 各位,Chandler's coming and he has incredible news. 钱德勒马上来他说有天大的好消息So when he gets here, let's all act, like, you know 所以他来的时候我们就......Never mind. But it was gonna be really good. 不管了这一定是很好的消息What's going on? 到底怎么了...So it's a typical day at work... 今天和平常没什么两样...and Big Al calls me into his office 然后艾尔叫我到他办公室and tells me he wants to make me processing supervisor. 说他要我当处理主管- That is great! - Congratulations! -真是太好了 -恭喜...So I quit. 所以我就辞职了Why? 为什么Why? This was a temp job. 为什么因为这只是暂时的工作Chandler,you've been there for five years. 钱德勒你已在公司五年了I know, but if I took it, 我知道但接受升职I'd be admitting that this is what I do. 不就代表承认这就是我的职业Was it a lot more money? 那不是能赚更多钱Doesn't matter. I just don't want to be 我不在乎我不想成为a guy who sits in his office until 12'o clock in the night... 在办公室坐到午夜...worrying about the WENUS. 担心"周净计"的那种人The "WENUS"? "周净计"是啥Weekly estimated net usage system. "每周估计净值使用统计系统"It's a processing term. 这是处理用术语Oh, that WENUS. 这么回事啊What will you do? 你有何打算I don't know, that's the thing I don't know what I want to do. 我不知道问题就在于我不知道想做什么I just know I'm not going to figure it out working there.我只知道我在那工作下去就永远想不明白I have something you can do! 我这有份活给你I have this new massage client, Steve. 我的新按摩客户史提夫Anyway, he's opening up a restaurant... 不多说了他开了一家餐厅...and he's looking for a head chef. 他正在寻找主厨- Hi, there. -Hi. -你好 -你好.I know. You're a chef and I thought of you first. 我知道你是个厨师而且我先想到你But Chandler's the one who needs a job right now,so.... 但钱德勒目前没有工作所以...I just don't have a lot of chef-ing experience. 我没有太多厨师的经验Unless it's an all-toast restaurant. 除非那是家只卖吐司的餐厅What kind of food is he looking for? 他想要什么菜色He wants to do something eclectic. 他想要菜色丰富多变He's looking for someone who can create the entire menu.因此他在找一个能创造出整个菜单的人- Oh my God! - I know! -天啊 -很棒吧So, what do you think? 所以你意下如何Thanks. Pheebs. 谢了菲比- I just don't see myself in a big, white hat. -Ok. -我觉得自己不适合戴白色厨师帽 -好吧Oh, Monica! Guess what? 莫妮卡你猜怎么着Can you see my nipples through this shirt? 你们能透过衬衫看见我的乳头吗No, but don't worry. I'm sure they're still there. 看不见但别担心它们肯定还在Where are you going? Mr. suity man 你要上哪儿去西装笔挺先生I have an appointment with Dr. Robert Pilman, 我和罗伯·提曼博士有约career counselor-a-go-go! 求职顾问阿哥哥- I added the "a-go-go." - Career counselor? -阿哥哥是我加的 -求职顾问You guys all know what you want to do. 你们都已找到人生的方向I don't. 还没You guys in the living room all know what you want to do.在客厅里的各位全都已找到人生的方向You have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream! 你们有目标有梦想我却没有梦想You have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream!以马丁·路德金的"我有一个梦想"演讲作讽The lesser-known "I Don't Have a Dream" speech. 少见的"我没有一个梦想"演说I love my life! I love my life! 我爱我的人生我爱我的人生"Brian's Song"! 布莱恩的歌- The meeting went great? - So great! -见面的结果如何 -相当顺利He showed me where the restaurant's gonna be. 他告诉我未来餐厅的位置It's this, it's this cute little place on 10th Street. 就在第十街上有个温馨的小店面Not too big, not too small. Just right. 不太大也不太小大小适中Was it formerly owned by a blond woman and some bears? 前任老板是金发女人和几只熊吗I'm cooking for him Monday night, kind of an audition. 周一晚我要煮一餐让他品尝算是面试Phoebe, he wants you here. 菲比他也要你在场It's great for me. You can make yummy noises. 这样对我有好处因为你可以装作吃得很香- What are you gonna make? - Yummy noises. -你打算做什么 -吃得很香And Monica, what are you gonna make? 那莫妮卡你要做什么菜I don't know. It's gotta so be great. 我也不知道但一定会很棒的I know what you can make! I know! 我知道你可以做什么了我知道You should make that thing with the stuff. 你应该用那些东西做这个You know that thing with the stuff? 你知道用那些东西做的这个Okay, I don't know. 好吧我也不知道Guys. Anyone know a good date place in the neighborhood? 各位谁知道附近有约会的绝佳地点How about Tony's? If you finish a 32-ounce steak, it's free. 东尼餐厅如何吃下一公斤牛排就免费Anyone know a good place if you're not dating a puma?有谁知道哪家不用带美洲豹过去的好餐厅- Who are you going out with? - Is this the bug lady? -你要和谁约会 -是昆虫女吗"I love you, Ross." "我爱你罗斯"Her name is Celia she's not a bug lady 她叫希莉亚不是昆虫女and she's curator of insect at the museum. 她是博物馆的昆虫部主任- What are you gonna do? - Go out to dinner... -你们打算做些什么 -出去吃晚餐...then bring her back to my place 然后带她回我的住处and introduce her to my monkey. 带她看看我的猴子And he's not speaking metaphorically. 他这不是在打比方So back to your place? You thinking maybe.... 回你的住处啊你有没有想...Well, I don't know.... 我不知道你啥意思I'm hoping.... 我希望...I'm telling you. That monkey is a chick magnet. 告诉你那猴子是魅力十足She'll take one look at his cute, little face 她一旦看见它可爱的小脸and it'll seal the deal. 然后一切就搞定Celia, don't worry. He's not gonna hurt you! 希莉亚别担心它不会伤害你的Soothing tones. 用安抚的语调- Here, Marcel. - I can't stand this. -过来马赛尔 -我受不了了- He's got his claws on my - Yeah, all right. -它的爪子在我的 -好了乖..Okay, try this salmon mousse. 试试这鲑鱼慕斯Good. 好吃Is it better than the other salmon mousse? 比其他的鲑鱼慕斯好吃吗- It's creamier. -Yeah? Well, is that better? -更滑更柔 -是吗这样更好吗I don't know. We're talking about whipped fish. 我不知道这是条搅成泡沫的鱼I'm just happy I'm keeping it down. 我能不吐出来就已经不错了God, what happened to you? 天啊你怎么了Eight and a half hours of aptitude tests... 8个半小时的天资测验...intelligence tests, personality tests, and what do I learn? 智力测验个性测验我了解了什么"You're suited for data processing "你适合在大型跨国公司for a large multinational corporation." "数据处理部门方面发展"That's so great! You already know how to do that. 这太好了因为你已知道该如何做Can you believe it? 你们能相信吗Don't I seem like I should be doing something cool? 我不像是做那种酷工作的人吗I just always pictured myself doing something.... 我总是想像自己能做点事情Something! 了不得的事情Chandler, I know, I know. 钱德勒我知道Hey, you can see your nipples through this shirt. 原来透过这件衬衫能看到你的乳头啊Here you go. Maybe this will cheer you up. 给这个或许能让你开心点I had a grape about five hours ago, 5小时前我吃了一颗葡萄so I better split this with you. 所以我最好和你平分吃It's supposed to be small. It's a pre-appetizer. 它本来就应该那么小这是餐前开胃菜The French call it an amuse-bouche. 法国人称它为"阿姆兹布许"Well, it is amusing. 这简直是太神奇了Hi, Wendy. Yeah, 8:00. 温蒂对八点What did we say, $10 an hour? 我们不是说过吗每小时十块Okay, great. All right, I'll see you then. 很好再见了$10 an hour for what? 什么每小时十块I ask one of the waitress from work, she's helping me. 我请餐厅里的女服务生帮忙Waitressing? 服务生Of course I thought of you. But.... 当然我考虑过你但...- But.... - But, but.... -但是... -但是什么But it's just this night has to go just perfect, you know? 但是今晚一定要做到完美你知道吗Wendy's more of a professional waitress. 温蒂的经验丰富是个职业服务生And I'm maintaining my amateur status 我应该继续保持业余的姿态so I can waitress in the Olympics. 将来才能在奥运会上当服务生I don't mean to brag, 我不想自吹自擂I don't mean to brag, 该年冬奥会在因斯布鲁克召开but I waited tables at Innsbruck in '76. 但我1976年在因斯布鲁克当过服务生Amuse-bouche? 来点阿姆兹布许Talk to me. 和我说话A weird thing happened on the train this morning 早上我坐地铁时发生了一件怪事Talk dirty. 说下流话- Here? - Come on. Come on. -在这里 -对来吧Say something hot. 说点火辣的What? What? 什么什么Vulva. 外阴Vulva? 外阴I panicked, all right? She took me by surprise. 我当时好害怕她吓了我一跳But it wasn't a total loss. We ended up cuddling. 但也不算一败涂地我们以爱抚收场You cuddled? How many times? 爱抚了啊几次Shut up. It was nice. 闭嘴感觉还不错I just don't think I'm a dirty-talking kind of guy. 我只是不是那种讲下流话的人What's the big deal? Just say what you wanna do to her. 有什么啊你只要说出你想对她如何Or what you want her to do to you. 或是你想她对你如何Or what other people might be doing to each other. 或是别人想对彼此如何I'll tell you what. Try something on me. 这样吧对我说两句试试Please be kidding. 你是在开玩笑对吧Why not? 有何不可Just close your eyes and tell me what you'd like to be doing right now. 只要闭上眼睛告诉我现在你想干什么Ok, I'm in my apartment.... 好吧...我在我的住处- Yeah, what else? - You're not there. -然后呢 -你不在那里.- We're not having this conversation. - All right, I'll start. -我们没有这次谈话 -好吧那我先来- Joey, please... - Come on, ready, look. -乔伊别这样 -来嘛准备好Oh, Ross... 罗斯...you get me so hot. I want your lips on me now. 你让我欲火焚身我要你马上舔我- Now you say something. - I really don't think so. -该你了 -我看还是算了吧- You like this woman, right? - Yeah. -你喜欢她对吧 -对- You wanna see her again, right? - Sure. -想再见到她对吗 -当然If you can't talk dirty to me, 如果你对我都说不出下流话how will you talk dirty to her? 你如何对她说呢Now tell me you wanna caress my butt! 现在告诉我你想爱抚我的屁股Okay, turn around. 好吧转过去I don't want you staring at me while I'm doing this. 我说话时不想你盯着我看All right, I'm not looking. Go ahead. 好吧我不看说吧I want Okay, I want... 我要......to feel your hot, soft skin with my lips. 用我的双唇感觉你那火热光滑的皮肤There you go. Keep going, keep going. 这就对了继续I want to take my tongue and 我要用我的舌头...Say it. 快说啊Say it! 快说run it all over your body... 舔遍你的全身... until you're trembling with 直到你颤抖...With? 然后呢- Funny story. - You're not gonna believe this. -说来好笑 -你不会相信的It's Ok, I was always rooting for you two kids to get together. 没事我一向赞成你们两个小子交往Chandler, while you were sleeping, 钱德勒你睡觉时that guy from your old job called again. 以前的公司又打电话来- Again? - And again and again and again. -又打来 -一遍又一遍Hello. And again. 喂又打来了Hey, Mr. Costilick. How's life on the 15th floor? 嘿科斯特林克先生 15楼的情况如何Yeah, I miss you too. 我也想念你.Yeah. It's a lot less satisfying to steal pens from your own home. 对偷自己家里的笔不够刺激That's very generous. But this isn't about the money. 你真慷慨但这不是钱的问题I need something more than a job. 我需要的不只是一份工作I need something I really care about 我要的是我真正想要的That's on top of the year-end bonus you metioned earlier?这津贴不包含在你稍早提过的年终红利里Your dream! 你的梦想...Look, Al, I'm not playing hardball here, okay? 听着艾尔我不是在故意为难你This is not a negotiation. This is a rejection! 这不是交涉这叫拒绝No, no, no Stop saying numbers! 不不不别再讲数字了I'm telling you, you've got the wrong guy! 告诉你你看错人了你看错人了I'll see you Monday! 星期一见Wow! It's huge! It's so much bigger than the cubicle. 好大比小格子大多了This is a cube! 这是一个格间Look at this. 看这里You have a window! 你有窗户Yes, indeed-y. With a beautiful view of 没错还有美丽的风景...Look! That guy's peeing! 看有人在小便That's enough of the view. Check this out. 风景看够了看这个Okay, sit down here. 坐下This is great. 这个最酷,- You ready? - Yeah. -准备好没 -好了Helen, could you come in here? 海伦能进来一下吗Thank you, Helen. That'll be all. 谢谢你海伦没事了Last time I do that. I promise. 最后一次了我保证Wendy, We had a deal. 温蒂我们约好的Yeah, you promised. 你答应过我Wendy! Wendy! Wendy! 温蒂温蒂温蒂- Who was that? - Wendy bailed. -那是谁 -叛徒温蒂I have no waitress. 我没服务生了That's too bad. Bye-bye. 真是太糟糕了再见Ten dollars an hour! Twelve dollars an hour! 一小时十元一小时十二元Mon, I wish I could, 莫妮卡我也希望能帮你but I've made plans to walk around. 但我已经计划好去走走Rachel. When you ran out on your wedding, I was there for you. 瑞秋你逃婚之后是我一直在支持你I put a roof over your head! 我让你有地方住If that means nothing to you.... 如果这样对你仍毫无意义...Twenty dollars an hour. 一小时二十元Done. 成交Hello. Welcome to Monica's. May I take your coat? 欢迎光临莫妮卡家我能帮您拿外套吗- Hi, Steve. - Hello, Monica. -嗨史提夫 -嗨莫妮卡Hello, greeter girl. 你好招待小姐- This is Rachel. - Yeah, okay. -她叫瑞秋 -好吧随便Everything smells so delicious. 味道好香I can't remember ever smelling such a delicious combination of我已忘记上次闻到这种美味的混合物是...Okay, smells. 好吧香味- It's a lovely apartment. - Thank you. Would you like a tour? -这房子真漂亮 -谢谢想参观一下吗I was just being polite, but all right. 我只是客套一下但好吧- What's up? - In the cab on the way over... -怎么了 -坐计程车来时...Steve blazed up a doobie. 史提夫抽了一根大麻烟What? 什么- Smoked a joint, you know? Lit a bone. Weed, hemp, ganja - Ok. -抽了一根大麻之类的... -好了我懂- Smoked a joint, you know? Lit a bone. Weed, hemp, ganja - Ok.电影《大麻双人组》中主角之一I'm with you, Cheech. 我跟你统一战线切奇Is it dry in here? 这里很干燥吗Let me get you some wine. 我来为您倒杯酒I think we're ready for our first course too. 我们可以上第一道菜了These are rock shrimp ravioli in a cilantro ponzu sauce... 这些是石虾小方饺蘸芫萎调味酱...with just a touch of minced... 加上一点点......ginger. 碎姜Well, smack my ass and call me Judy! 打我屁股叫我朱蒂吧- These are fantastic! - Gosh! I'm so glad you liked them. -真是太好吃了 -我真高兴你喜欢Like them? I could eat 100 of them! 喜欢吗我可以吃下上百个That's all there is of these... 只有这一些...but in a few minutes, we'll serve some delicious onion tartlets.但再过8分半就有美味的洋葱馅饼吃"Tartlets?" "馅饼...""Tartlets." "馅饼...""Tartlets." "馅饼..."Word has lost all meaning. 文字都已失去意义Excuse me. Can I help you with anything? 请问需要任何帮忙吗You know, I don't know what I'm looking for. 你看我也不知道自己在找什么Cool! Taco shells! 酷墨西哥馅饼They're like a little corn envelope, you know? 这个就像是玉米卷饼一样你懂吗- You don't wanna spoil your appetite. - Hey, Sugar-O's! -你不该影响食欲 -糖片You know, if you just wait another 6 1/2 minutes 你知道吗再等6分钟半Macaroni and cheese! We gotta make this! 干酪通心面我们要做这个- No, we don't. - Oh, okay. -不我们不做 -哦好吧Sorry. 抱歉Why don't you just have a seat here? 我们何不坐这儿- Give me the gummy bears. - No. -小熊软糖给我 -不- Give them to me. - We'll share. -把它们给我 -好吧分你一半- No. Give me the bears. - Then you can't have any. -不小熊给我 -那就一点不分你- Give them to me! - It's not worth it! -把他们给我 -这样不值得Bears overboard! They're drowning! 小熊落水了他们快淹死了Hey, fellas, grab onto a Sugar-O! Save yourselves! 伙计们抓住糖片逃命啊Help! Help, I'm drowning! 救命啊....我溺水了- That's it! Dinner is over! - What! Why? -我受够了晚餐结束 -什么为什么Why? 为什么I've waited seven years for an opportunity like this... 这种机会我已等了七年...and you can't wait 4 1/2 minutes for a stupid tartlet?而你却等不了四分半钟之后再吃洋葱馅饼You don't wanna work for that guy like that. 你不会想为那种人工作的I know, I just thought that this was it. 我知道我只是以为我的机会来了You get it. You're an amazing chef. 不要担心你是个了不起的厨师Those yummy noises? I wasn't faking. 那些赞美的声音我不是装的So, how did it go with Celia? 和希莉亚的状况如何- I was unbelievable. - All right, Ross! -简直是不可思议 -干得好罗斯I was the James Michener of dirty talk. 我是讲下流话的行家It was the most elaborate filth you have ever heard. 那简直是天下最具巧思的下流话I mean, there were characters, plot lines, 有人物主线themes, a motif. 剧情主题At one point, there were villagers. 其中一段连村民都冒出来了And? 然后呢By the time we finished all the dirty talk it was kind of late 下流话讲完后已经有点晚了and we were kind of exhausted, so... 而且我们也有点没劲了所以- You cuddled. - Yeah, which was nice. -你们爱抚 -那种感觉好好Do you guys want to try to catch a late movie? 你们想看晚场电影吗Maybe, but shouldn't we wait for Chandler? 或许吧但我们不是该等钱德勒吗Where the hell is he? 他到底跑哪儿去了Yes, friends, I know what time it is... 对朋友我知道现在几点...but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy! 但我看着"周净计" 它让我相当不高兴Let me tell you something. 我跟你讲清楚You will care about it because I care about it. 你会在乎的因为我在乎Got it? Good! 明白了吗很好How's this? 这样如何Sorry. How about over here? 不好意思这边呢That means it's working. 这就说明有效果了.- Does this hurt? - No. -痛不痛 -不痛.How about this? 这样呢There you go! 这就对了I'm gonna throw up! 我快吐了!第一季第十五集老友记So no one told you life was gonna be this way 没人告诉你生活会是这样your jobs a joke, you're broke, 你滑稽的工作你的差劲your love life's D.O.A. 你半途而废的爱情It's like you're always stuck in second gear, 就像开车卡在二档And it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, 每日每周每月or even your year, but 甚至每年都是如此I'll be there for you, 大雨倾盆时when the rain starts to pour. 我会陪伴你I'll be there for you, 我会陪伴你like I've been there before. 像我以前那样I'll be there for you, 我会陪伴你'cause you're there for me too. 因为你也陪伴着我。

经典美剧《老友记》-第九季-第十集-字幕-对白-中英文对照-看美剧学英语

He sprang to his sleigh To his team gave a whistle 他拉起他的雪橇他吹起他的口哨And away they all flew Like the down of a thistle 他们奔驰而去如同蓟草的细毛But I heard him exclaim Ere he drove out of sight 但我听他喊出就在他要消失飞去之前"Merry Christmas to all And to all a good night." “祝大家圣诞快乐还有大家有个美好的夜晚”Wow! That was great! You really wrote that? 哇！真是太棒了！真的是你自己创作的吗？Say goodbye, elves. I'm off to Tulsa. 再见了，精灵们我要去土尔沙了I can't believe you won't be here for Christmas. 我不敢相信圣诞节你竟然会不在这里You're really not coming back? 你真的不回来吗？We have this paperwork that needs to be filed by the end of the year. 我们有很多报告都要在年底的时候归档Why can't those dumb Tulsa people do the work? 为什么那些愚蠢的土尔沙人没有办法做呢？Because those dumb people got everything dumped on them.. 因为那些愚蠢的人得接收了一切…by the arrogant jerks in the New York office. 王八蛋纽约人丢给他们的工作I'm caught between two worlds. 我被卡在两个世界中间- If I don't get it done, I'll be fired. - It's so unfair. -如果我不去做，我就会被炒鱿鱼 -真是不公平- You don't even like your job. - So. Who does? -你根本就不喜欢你的工作 -那又如何呢，谁喜欢自己的工作？- I like my job. - I love my job. -我喜欢我的 -我爱我的工作- I can't wait to go back to work. - I can't get enough dinosaurs. -我等不及要回去上班了 -我对恐龙就是玩不厌I'm sorry I won't be here. 我很抱歉没有办法回来It's hard enough not seeing you during the week.. 平常没有办法见到你已经够难受了…but for Christmas.. 但是圣诞节…If this is what you have to do, I understand. 如果这就是你必须要做的事我会谅解Thanks. 谢谢I'll see you New Year's Day. 新年当天见You're not gonna be here New Year's Eve? 你除夕没有要回来吗？- Did I not mention that? - No. -我没有提过吗？ -没有And to all a good night! 那大家晚安了！The One With Christmas In Tulsa 那大家晚安了！29 好了大家，我知道今晚是圣诞夜…and you'd rather be with family, but there is no call for writing.. 你们都想要跟家人在一起但是也不可以写…"Screw you, Mr. Bing" on the back of my chair. “去你的，宾先生” 贴在我的椅子后面By the way, you can all call me Chandler. 对了，你们叫我钱德就可以了- Hey. - Hey. Where you been? -嘿 -嘿，你跑哪去了？I was checking out that insurance company's Christmas party on three.我去三楼看那间保险公司的圣诞派对It was really beautiful. They have decorations and this huge tree.真的是很美，他们有很多装饰品还有一颗很大的树And I just thought, to hell with them, we have to work. 然后我就想，去他们的我们竟然要工作So I stole their ham. 所以我偷了他们的火腿Hear that? You may not be with your families.. 听到了没？你们或许没有跟家人在一起…but at least it's gonna smell like ham in here. 但是至少这里也可以闻到过节的火腿味My kid's in a play right now. 我的小孩现在正在表演话剧You know what? I know what will cheer you up. 你们知道吗？我知道要怎么鼓舞你们I had a talk with the boys in New York. I told them about all your hard work..我跟纽约那边的人谈过了我告诉他们你们全是如何辛勤工作…and that a little Christmas bonus may be in order. 所以你们可能都会得到一些圣诞奖金"A donation has been made in your name to the New York City Ballet."已经以您的名义把一项捐款…捐赠给纽约市立芭蕾舞团已经以您的名义把一项捐款…Well, that's like money in your pocket. 嗯，那其实就像是进了你们的口袋一样啊？All right, you want me to say it? This sucks. 好了，你们一定要逼我说吗？这实在很烂Being here sucks. This work sucks! 在这里真是烂，这份工作真是烂！Now it feels like Christmas. 现在就有点像是圣诞节了I'm sorry. 我很抱歉At least you get to go home and be with your families tonight. 至少今晚你们都还可以回家跟家人在一起I have to go to an empty hotel room and lay down.. 我只能回去一间空荡荡的旅馆房间然后躺在…on a very questionable bedspread. 一张很有卫生问题的床单上Then tomorrow, you get to have Christmas in your own houses. 然后明天，你们都可以在自己家里过节Which, by the way, none of you have invited me to. 顺便提一下，你们没有一个邀请我去- You can come to my house. - No, thanks. -你可以来我家 -不用了，谢谢- It was a nice pep talk. - Thanks. -真是精彩的精神讲话 -谢谢I'm actually thinking about becoming a motivational speaker.我是真的有在想要成为激励演说家So if you were home right now, what would you be doing? 那如果你现在在家你会是在做什么呢？Typical Christmassy stuff, you know. Our holidays are pretty traditional.一般的圣诞节活动，你知道的我们过节的方式是很传统的So here's a very special holiday song.. 有一首十分特殊的节庆歌曲…that I wrote for some very important people to me. 是我为一些对我很重要的人写的：Happy holidays, everybody. 大家圣诞快乐Phoebe, look in the kitchen. I'll look in the back closet. 菲比，去检查厨房，我去看衣橱后面I can save you time, ladies. I'm right here. 我可以节省你们的时间，女士们我就正在这里Yeah. Chandler, why don't you take a walk. 钱德，你何不出去一下This doesn't concern you. 这跟你没有关系We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica. 我们在找摩妮卡准备的圣诞礼物- What? That's terrible. - No, no. We do it every year. -什么？这实在太过分了 -不不，我们每年都这样做的Well, that makes it not terrible. 喔，那就样就不过分了No. Yeah, we never find them. She's always bested us, that wily.. 是啊，我们从来没有找到过她总是高明过我们，那个狡猾又…minx. 邪恶的女人We're gonna search here for an hour.. 我们会在这边找一个小时…and then we'll go to Joey's and search. Okay? 然后再过去乔伊家找，好吗？No, not okay. You can't look for Monica's presents. 不，不好你们不可以找摩妮卡的礼物- No, we have to. - No, you don't have to. -我们一定要 -不，你们不需要这样And you can't, because I live here too. 你们不行，因为我也住在这里- Well, then you should look with us. - Why? -那么你应该帮我们找 -为什么？Aren't you worried about what to get Monica for Christmas? 你难道不烦恼要买什么圣诞礼物给摩妮卡吗？No, I have a great idea for a present for her. 不担心，我已想好一个很棒的礼物要给她That's it? "A great idea"? 就这样？“已经想好”？That's not enough. What if she gets you a great present.. 那是不够的万一她送你的是一个很棒的礼物…two medium presents and lots of little presents.. 两个中等的礼物还有很多的小礼物…and you got her one great present? That's gonna make her feel bad. 而你只送她一个很棒的礼物？那会让她很伤心的Why would you do that to her? Why? Why? 你为什么要那样对待她呢？为什么？为什么？- If I helped, we could find them faster! - Right. -如果我帮忙，我们就可以更快找到！ -没错- We have a live one! - It's a Macy's bag! -我找到一个了！！ -这是梅西百货的袋子！Who's it for? 这是要给谁的？"Dear Losers: Do you really think I'd hide presents under the couch?亲爱的失败者：你们真的认为我会将礼物藏在沙发下面吗？P.S. Chandler, I knew they'd break you." 附注：钱德，我就知道她们可以说服你Rach, these are for you. 瑞秋，这些是给你的Wiper blades. I don't even have a car. 雨刷，但是我根本就没有车子No, but with this new-car smell, you'll think you do. 是没有，但是加上这个有新车味道的芳香剂，你会以为你有的Okay, Phoebe, your turn. 好了，菲比，轮到你了Toilet seat covers! 马桶座盖纸！Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas? 这是不是在我想放屁的时候你们去弄的呢？You guys. 你们俩And for Ross, Mr. Sweet Tooth. 还有给罗斯，甜食先生- You got me a cola drink? - And.. a lemon-lime! -你们送我可乐？？ -还有…柠檬口味！Well, this.. This is too much. 喔，这… 这礼真是太大了I feel like I should get you another sweater. 我觉得我应该再送你一件毛衣And last but not least.. 最后一位…They're ribbed, for your pleasure. 是罗纹保险套，让你得到绝顶满足Well, hey, Ben? 嘿！班What if the Holiday Armadillo told you all about the Festival of Lights?要不要节庆穿山甲来告诉你光明节的由来呢？Cool! 好啊！Come on, Ben. 来吧，班Years and years ago, there were these people called the Maccabees! 很多年以前，有一群叫做马加比家族的人…Merry Christmas! 圣诞快乐！Santa! 圣诞老公公！What are you doing here, Santa? 你在这里做什么呢？圣诞老公公Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben. 喔，我是来看我的老朋友班的What are you doing here.. 你在这里做什么呢？你这只…weird turtle-man? 奇怪的乌龟男？I'm the Holiday Armadillo, your part-Jewish friend. 我是节庆穿山甲，你的半犹太血统朋友You sent me here to give Ben some presents. 你要我过来送些礼物给班的Remember? 记得吗？What? 什么？Ben, why don't you open some more presents. 班，你何不去打开更多的礼物Santa, the armadillo and I will have a talk in the kitchen.圣诞老公公、穿山甲跟我要去厨房谈谈There's a sentence I never thought I'd say. 我说了我以为这辈子都认为不可能说的话What are you doing? 你在做什么呢？You called and said you had trouble finding a Santa costume.. 你打电话告诉大家说你找不到圣诞老公公的服装…so I borrowed one from a guy at work. 所以我跟公司的同事借了这一套Thank you, but you gotta leave. 谢谢你，但是你得要离开- Why? - Because.. -为什么？ -因为…I'm finally getting him excited about Hanukkah. 我终于让他对犹太光明节有兴趣了And you're wrecking it. 而你破坏了这一切But I didn't get to shake my belly like a bowl full of jelly. 但是我还没有机会把肚子像果冻一样摇的晃来晃去I'm sorry, Chandler, but this is really important to me. 我很抱歉，钱德但是这对我真的很重要Okay, fine. I'll give the suit back. 好的，没关系，我去还这套衣服Hey, you think you can keep it another night? 嘿，你觉得可以把这套衣服多留一晚吗？Santa? Really? 圣诞老公公？真的吗？- Yeah, is that okay? - Did your dad ever dress up like Santa? -是啊，可以吗？ -你爸爸有扮过圣诞老公公吗？- No. - Then it's okay! -没有 -那就没问题了！You know what, everybody? 你们知道吗？你们大家Go home. You should be with your families. 回家去，你们应该跟家人在一起It's bad enough we're working New Year's Eve. 我们要在除夕夜工作就已经够糟了Did I not tell anyone about New Year's Eve? 我没有告诉大家除夕夜的事吗？All right, look, go. Go home, okay? Merry Christmas. 好了，听着，回去，回家去，好吗？圣诞快乐- Merry Christmas. - Peace on earth. -圣诞快乐 -世界和平- Bye. - Good. Godspeed, good people. -再见 -很好，快走，一群好人- You're not gonna go? - No. I couldn't leave you alone. -你没有要走吗？ -没有，我不能留你一个人在这里Thanks. 谢谢Besides, I can't leave until that Christmas party downstairs clears out.除此之外，我得要等到楼下的派对都结束了我才能走There are some pissed-off insurance people looking for that ham. 有一些气爆了的保险员正在找他们的火腿- Chandler Bing. - Hi, honey. We're all here. -钱德宾 -嗨，亲爱的，我们全部都在这里We want to wish you a merry Christmas. 我们想要祝你圣诞快乐- Merry Christmas! - Merry Christmas! -圣诞快乐！ -圣诞快乐！Merry Christmas. I miss you guys. 圣诞快乐，我想念你们So is it horrible? Is everybody working really hard? 很难受吗？每个人都在认真工作吗？Well, no, it's just me and Wendy. 嗯，没有，只有我跟温蒂Wendy? That sounds like a girl's name. 温蒂？听起来想是女生的名字It is. Did I not tell you about her? 就是女生，我没有提过她吗？About the time you told me about New Year's Eve. 应该就在你跟我提起除夕夜的事的时候- Where's everybody else? - I sent them home. -大家去哪了？ -我让他们回家了You are such a good boss. Is she pretty? 你真是好老板，她漂亮吗？Answer faster. Answer faster. 快点回答，快点回答- I don't know. - Answer better. Answer better. -我不知道 -回答高明点，回答高明点I don't think of her that way. I mean, she's a colleague. 我没有那样想过她我是说，她是我同事- What does she do there? - She's regional vice president. -她在那边是做什么的？ -她是区域副总- She's just below me. - She did what? -她在我下面 -她什么？Below me. 她的职务在我下面Wait, is Wendy the runner-up Miss Oklahoma? 等一下，温蒂是那个奥克拉荷马小姐选美第二名吗？What?! 什么！Well, she didn't win. 嗯，她又没有赢得后冠All right, maybe I should let you.. 好了，或许我应该让你…and the second prettiest girl in Oklahoma get back to work. 跟奥克拉荷马第二漂亮的女生回去工作了Second prettiest that year. Of all the girls in Oklahoma, she's probably..那一年第二漂亮的，以奥克拉荷马全部的女生来说，她或许…Chandler, stop talking. 钱德，快闭嘴Honey, there's really nothing to worry about. 亲爱的，根本没有什么需要担心的- Okay. - I'm serious. -好的 -我是说真的Okay. 好的- Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas. -圣诞快乐 -圣诞快乐- Merry Christmas, you guys. - Merry Christmas. -你们大家圣诞快乐 -圣诞快乐- The wife says hi. - Fun conversation? -我老婆打招呼 -谈得愉快吗？Well, she's just got this weird idea that.. 嗯，她有一种奇怪的想法认为…because you and I are alone something's gonna happen. 因为我们两个单独在一起所以有事情会发生Really? 真的吗？Would that be so terrible? 那样很糟糕吗？This is probably the wrong thing to be worrying about.. 我或许担心得不对…but you're getting ham on my only tie. 但是你把火腿沾上我唯一的领带了- Back off, missy! - Missy? -走开，小妞！ -小妞？I don't know. I'm not used to girls making passes at me. 我不知道，我不习惯女孩子对我采取行动Wait a minute. Am I sexy in Oklahoma? 等一下，我在奥克拉荷马算是性感的吗？- You are to me. - No. No. No! -你对我是的 -不不，不！- Look, I'm married. - So? I'm married. -听着，我已经结婚了 -那又如何？我也结婚了I'm happily married. 我的婚姻很幸福What's that like? 那是什么样的感觉呢？- Right. So I'm sorry, but.. - Seriously? Happily married? -是的，所以我很抱歉，但是… -真的？婚姻很幸福？So that phone call before, that was happy? 所以刚才那通电话叫做幸福？Well, look, it's not easy to spend this much time apart. 你知道，长期分开是很不容易的She's entitled to be a little paranoid. 她是有资格有点神经质的…Or, in this case, right on the money. 而且针对这件事她猜对了You know, she's amazing and beautiful and smart. 她很好、漂亮又聪明…And if she were here right now, she'd kick your ass. 而且如果她现在在这里她一定会海扁你一顿的Look, you're a really nice person, ham-stealing and adultery aside. 听着，你是个很好人除了会偷火腿跟偷腥之外But what I have with my wife is pretty great. 但是我跟我老婆的感情很好So nothing's ever gonna happen between us. 所以我们之间是不可能的Okay, let me ask you something. 好的，让我问你一件事If what you and your wife have is so great.. 如果你跟你老婆感情很好…then why are you spending Christmas with me? 那你怎么会跟我一起过圣诞节呢？You were the most beautiful woman in the room tonight. 今晚你是这屋子里最漂亮的女人- Really? - Are you kidding? -真的吗？ -你不相信吗？You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms. 在大部分的屋子里你都是最漂亮的女人What's going on? You and I just made out. 这是怎么回事？我们刚刚亲吻了- You and I are making out? - Well, not anymore. -我们在亲吻？ -嗯，以后不会有了- But we don't do that. - I know. I just thought it would be fun. -但是我们俩从来不会那样的 -我知道，我只是觉得那可能会很好玩- How drunk are you? - Drunk enough that I wanna do this. -你有多醉呢？ -我醉到让我想要这样做…Not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage. 但又没有醉到让你觉得占我便宜是有罪恶感的That's a perfect amount. 真是醉到恰到好处- You know what's weird? - What? -你知道什么很奇怪吗？ -什么？- This doesn't feel weird. - I know. -就是这感觉一点都不怪 -我知道- You're a really good kisser. - Well, I have kissed over four women. -你真是接吻高手 -嗯，我吻过超过四个女人You wanna get under the covers? Okay. 你想要到棉被底下吗？Wow, you are really fast. 哇，你真快It bodes well for me that speed impresses you. 速度会得到你的赞赏对我来说是好兆头- We're gonna see each other naked. - Yep. -我们将要看到彼此裸体了 -是的- You want to do it at the same time? - Count of three? -你想要一起看吗？ -数到三？- One. - Two. -一 -二Three. 三Well, I think it's safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined. 我想我可以很肯定的说我们的友情已经完全被摧毁了We weren't that close anyway. 反正我们本来也没有很好Are you really gonna go out with that nurse-man? 你真的要跟那个男护士出去吗？Well, you and I are just goofing around. 嗯，反正你跟我只是玩玩而已I thought, why not just goof around with him? 所以我想，我也可以跟他玩玩I don't know if you've ever looked up "goofing around" in the dictionary.我不知道你有没有查过字典 “玩玩”是什么意思Well, I have. 我有查过…And the technical definition is two friends.. 专业的解释就是两个朋友…who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex.. 很在乎彼此然后又做了很棒的爱…and just want to spend more time together. 而且想要花更多的时间在一起If you have this newfangled dictionary that gets you mad at me.. 如果你那新版的字典让你对我生气…then we have to, you know, get you my original dictionary. 那我们就只好帮你买我这本原版的字典I am so bad at this. 我真是不会说话I think you're better than you think you are. 我认为你比你想的还棒- Really? Okay. So if..? - Know when to stop. -真的吗？好的，所以如果…？ -知道什么时候该停I sensed that I should stop. 我感觉到我应该停了- So we're okay? - Yeah. -所以我们没事了吗？ -是的- Don't do the dance. - Right. -别跳那个舞 -好的I can't get married without something old, something new.. 我没有什么旧的、什么新的什么借来的、什么蓝色的…- something borrowed, something blue. - Okay, okay. -就没有办法结婚（美国习俗） -好的，好的Here's something blue and new. 这是蓝色的，而且是新的You are so efficient. I love you. 你真是有效率，我爱你- Let's go. - No, no, wait! -我们走吧 -不不，等一下We need something old. 我们需要什么旧的东西Okay. I have a condom in my wallet that I've had since I was 12. 好的，我有个保险套我从十二岁就放在钱包里了That'll work! 那就可以拿来用了！I don't think so. 我可不认为Okay. Now we just need something borrowed. 好了，现在我们需要一个借来的东西- Here, just take this. - That's stealing. -这个，拿去 -这是偷窃的We'll bring it back. Just put it under your dress. 我们会归还的，塞到你洋装里Okay, one thing at a time. 好了，事情一件一件照步骤来Listen.. 听着…I've been thinking. 我一直在想It's not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding.我要求把你所有的积蓄花在我们的婚礼上，是很不公平的事I mean, you work.. You work really hard for that. 我是说，你工作… 你辛苦工作才存到的- Well.. - Well, you work for that. -嗯… -好了，工作存到的Look, I've thought about it too. And.. 听着，我也有想过，而且…I'm sorry. I think we should spend all of the money on the wedding. 我很抱歉我想我们应该将所有钱花在婚礼上- You do? - Yeah. I'm putting my foot down. -你真的觉得吗？ -是的，我彻底的想清楚了…Yeah, look, when I proposed.. 听着，当我求婚的时候…I told you that I would do anything to make you happy. 我告诉你我会尽一切能力让你快乐And if having the perfect wedding makes you happy, then.. 而如果一个完美的婚礼能够让你快乐，那么…Then that's what we're gonna do. 那就是我们必须要做的是You are so sweet. 你真的好贴心But wait. What about our..? What about the future and stuff? 但是等一下，那我们…？那我们将来的计划呢？Forget about the future and stuff. So we only have two kids. 管他什么将来的计划我们只生两个小孩就好了You know, we'll pick our favorite, and that one will get to go to college.然后我们再挑选我们喜欢的那一个送他去念大学就好了- You've thought about that? - Yeah. -你有想过我们的将来吗？ -有啊- How many kids were we gonna have? - Four. A boy, twin girls.. -我们要生几个小孩呢？ -四个，一个男生，双胞胎女生…and another boy. 然后再一个男生- What else did you think about? - Well.. -你还有想过什么呢？ -嗯…stuff like where we'd live, you know. 像是我们要住的地方，你知道的Like a small place outside the city where our kids could ride bikes and stuff.在市中心外面的小房子我们的孩子可以学习骑脚踏车And we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar.. 我们可以养只猫，颈圈上有个铃铛…and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door.然后每次它经过小猫咪门的时候我们就可以听到铃铛声We'd have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.我们会在车库上面留一间房间让乔伊可以在那里养老You know what? 你知道吗？I don't.. I don't want a big, fancy wedding. 我不需要大型豪华的婚礼了- Sure you do. - No. -你当然需要 -不I want everything that you've just said. 我想要你刚刚说的一切I want a marriage. 我只想要结婚You sure? 你确定吗？- I love you so much. - I love you. -我好爱你 -我爱你- I love it! - Really? You're not gonna return it? -我太喜欢了！ -真的吗？你不会拿回去退吗？Well, not this second. 嗯，不会马上Hey, look, you guys. It's snowing! 嘿，你们瞧，下雪了- Wow, it's so beautiful. - Wow, it really is. -哇，真漂亮 -哇，真的是Wendy's a fat-girl name. 温蒂是胖女生的名字Aren't we done with that? 我们还没有说够吗？Okay, fine. Fine. Let's talk about snow. 好啦，不说了我们来聊雪Do you think it's snowing in Tulsa where my husband's having sex on a copier?你们觉得我老公在影印机上面做爱的那个土尔沙有在下雪吗？- Hey. - Oh, my God. -嘿 -喔！我的天！Look at that. That's a Christmas miracle! 瞧瞧这，这真是圣诞奇迹！- What are you doing here? - I wanted to be with you. -你在这里做什么呢？ -我想要跟你在一起I missed you so much. 我好想你- Hey, hey. Who'd you miss the most? - Monica. -嘿，你最想念谁呢？ -摩妮卡Gotcha. 知道了- I never want to leave you again. - I thought if you left, you'd get fired. -我再也不要离开你了 -我以为如果你走了会被炒鱿鱼的Turns out they can't fire me. Because I quit. 他们没有办法炒我鱿鱼的因为我不干了- What? - What? You..? You really quit your job? -什么？ -什么？你？你真的辞职了？Yeah. It was a stupid job, and I could not stand leaving you. 是的，那是份愚蠢的工作而我无法忍受离开你Why should I be the only one who doesn't do what he really wants to do?我为什么要当那个唯一必须做他不想要做的事的人？- Well, what do you really wanna do? - I have not thought this through. -那你真的想做什么呢？-这件事我没想清楚- Oh, my God. - I know. I should've talked to you first. -喔！我的天！ -我知道，我应该先跟你讨论的No, I think that this is what you wanna do. I think it's great! 不，我想如果这是你想要的我认为这很棒！Thanks. 谢谢Chandler, your being here is the best Christmas present I could ever imagine.钱德，你能够在这里是我有过最棒的圣诞礼物了- Now give me my real gift. - Yeah. -现在给我真正的礼物 -好- Thank you. - Here, pass those around. -谢谢 -这里，分给大家"A donation has been made in your name to the New York City Ballet."“一项捐款已经以您的名义捐赠给纽约市立芭蕾舞团”How did you know? 你怎么会知道我要这个呢？What? Are you kidding? I can't return this. 什么？你在开玩笑吗？我不能退还这个的It's time we started thinking about other people. 该是我们关怀别人的时候了And besides, this gift still says, "I love you guys." 除此之外，这份礼物还包含了 “我爱你们”- Mine says, "To Lillian Myers." - I don't have a job. -我的上面写“给莉莉安迈尔” -我可是失业了Actuary? No. 精算师？不Bookkeeper? No. 簿记员？不Topless dancer? 上空舞者？Hey, you know what I just realized? You are the sole wage earner.嗨，你知道我刚刚才想通什么吗？你是家里唯一收入来源You are the head of the household. I don't do anything. I'm a kept man! 你是这个家的户长我什么都没做，我是被供养的小白脸！You are. 没错Honey, here's 20 bucks. 亲爱的，这里有二十块Go buy yourself something pretty while I'm at work tomorrow. 我明天去上班的时候你去买一些漂亮的东西。

经典美剧《老友记》-第九季-第十九集-字幕-对白-纯英文-看美剧学英语

God, you're beautiful.Why are we fighting this?You know you want it to happen as much as I do.I want you. I need you.Let me make love to you.I don't wanna stand in the way of true love or anything..but I think a cantaloupe might hurt less.No, I'm rehearsing my lines.They're giving me a romantic story on Days of Our Lives.It's the first time my character's gotten one. I'm nervous. I want it to be good.I haven't seen you this worked-up since you did that dog-food commercial.. and you thought you were gonna be with a real talking dog.Yeah, that was a disappointment.You wanna come down to the set and tell me if I'm doing okay?- Are you serious? - Yeah.You just have to promise not to get thrown out again.- That was an honest mistake. - Right."Oh, my God. Is this the men's room? I feel so foolish.Have you always known you wanted to be an actor?"Yeah, that was an awesome day.The One With Rachels Dream22You guys wanna come eat dinner at the restaurant in the next few weeks?- I'd love to. - Well, you can't.- We're booked solid for the next month. - Well, I can't give you a massage.. because my license has been revoked again.- Phoebe, what happened? - Well, it was an accident, you know.It's a lot of oil and sometimes the hand just slips.So the restaurant's doing well, you say?It is so great. There are people lining up in the street..to taste my food. Saturday, there's a waiting list of 50 people.I know how that feels. Last semester, I had two students..who wanted to take my 1:00 class, but it was full.So they had to take my 5:00.That's not the same.Have I got a surprise for you. Pack your bags.Oh, no. You guys aren't supposed to get divorced for seven years.What? No, I'm taking Monica to a romantic inn in Vermont.Oh, good. Okay, good for you. Trying to recapture the magic.- So can you get out of work? - Honey, I can't.- Things are crazy at the restaurant. - You're really that busy?Yeah. I'm sorry, I really am.That's okay. I'll just try and reschedule.Hi, this is Chandler Bing. I made a reservation there..and I need to change it.What do you mean, it's nonrefundable? Well, can I just come some other time? Can't you make an exception?Tell them I'm a chef at a big New York restaurant.Tell them that in two weeks, I will once again be a masseuse in good standing. Look, this is ridiculous. I'm not paying for that room, okay?Well, thank you very much.Yeah, I'm going to Vermont.- Don't worry, use your travel insurance. - I don't have travel insurance. Well, this is what happens when people live on the edge.- Honey, what are you gonna do? - I'll go.Okay, I'll pick you up at 10.Oh, go with you?Oh, I can't go.Why don't you take Ross?Don't you think that'll be a little weird? I mean, two guys in a romantic inn? - No, not if the room has two beds. - I guess.It still seems a little.. "Moonlight boat ride"?!（银杯摄影棚）Joey, is this the bed where Olivia lost her virginity?I don't know, but one of the extras sure did.Listen, Rach. Thanks again for coming down to watch my scenes. Please, honey. Just the fact that you want me here to support you, I'm.. Oh, my God. Is that Christian Saunders? He is so gorgeous!And also, so gay.Well, in my head, he's done some pretty not-gay stuff.Well, at the Christmas party, him and Santa did some definitely-gay stuff. Joey? Joey, we're ready for you.Okay. All right, wish me luck.Okay. Not that you need it, but good.. God! Is that Chase Lassiter?- He's straight, right? - Rach, if you weren't here wondering..if these guys were gay, I don't know if I could do this.I'm sorry, you're right. I'm sorry. Good luck.On a bell, please. Quietly.And action!Drake, what are you doing here?Stopping you from marrying the wrong man..and making the biggest mistake of your life.- Get out. - You don't love him.What do you know about love?I know what I felt that night when we kissed under the bridge.- That kiss never happened. - Well, what about this one?Now, I told you to get out.Fine, I'll go.But let me ask you one question.- You look real familiar. Have we..? - Shh! He's asking her a question. Can you live the rest of your life never knowing what we could have been? - I don't have a choice. - Yes, you do.Yes, you do. I'm the one who doesn't have a choice because I..Because I can't stop loving you.- Don't say that. - Tell me to stop.Just..tell me to stop.- Cut! - No!Or, cut. You know, that's your call.- Everything was delicious. - Thank you.It was. The duck in particular was superb.Thank you.You haven't said anything.Actually, I do have one small complaint.Well, please, I welcome criticism.The musician right outside the restaurant is kind of a mood killer.What musician?What are you doing here?You said you had customers lined up in the street, so I'm here to entertain. - Great. - Yeah, it really has been great too.They must have seen me play before..because they requested a bunch of my songs.Yeah, "You Suck"..and "Shut Up and Go Home."Listen, Phoebe. You know how much I love listening to your music..- but.. - But what?This is kind of a classy place.Okay, say no more.Everyone!Classy, huh?Hi, Chandler Bing. I have a reservation.Welcome to the Chestnut lnn. Where are you joining us from?- New York. - The Big Apple.He's wound up. We had to stop at every maple-candy stand on the way here.I ate all my gifts for everybody.I'm sorry, there's no record of your reservation in the computer.- That's impossible. Check again, please. - Check again, please.- I'm sorry, it's not here. - It's not there.Let me get this straight. I called to try to cancel my reservation..was told it's not refundable. Then we drove six hours all the way up here..- and now we don't have a reservation? - I don't know what to say.She doesn't know what to say.Just give us the cheapest room you have.The only thing we have available is our deluxe suite. The rate is $600.- That's insane. - It's totally insane.Dude, let's drive home. We'll hit all the maple-candy stores on the way back.. and if they're closed, then maybe we'll tap a tree and make some ourselves. Does that room have a closet I can lock him in?- We'll take it. - Great.They are totally ripping us off! Three hundred dollars each?"Each?" I'm your date.So I pay for everything and have no sex.Oh, life before Monica.Dude, don't worry about it.I know how to make your money back. This is a nice hotel. Plenty of amenities. We just load up on those. Like those apples. Instead of taking one..I take six.Great. At $100 an apple, we're there.Come on, you get the idea. You know, we'll make our money back in no time. - Dude, you're shaking. - It's the sugar. Could you hold the apple?- Hi. - Hey.Joey, I gotta tell you, I have been thinking all day about that scene you did.I mean, you were amazing.You know, the writing was good. And the director's good.And my costar's good.But they're not as good as me!You have to tell me what happens tomorrow.I'm going over the script now. Wanna read lines with me?Me? Oh, I'm not an actress.- All right, I can ask Monica. - Screw her! That part is mine! Okay, so just from the top of the page right here.Okay.Hello, Drake. I'm surprised to see you here.- I can't believe you married him. - Well, what choice did I have? He was keeping my sister in a dungeon.So, what about us? Everything we feel for each other?It's over. You have to accept that.How can I, knowing I'll never hold you in my arms again..or touch your skin or feel your lips..knowing I'll never make love to you?How can I accept that I can never kiss you again..when it's all I can do not to kiss you right now?Kiss me.What?Kiss me.- Rach, it doesn't say that. - No, I'm saying it.- But.. - Just don't talk.Well, that's new.Hi, this is Ross Geller in suite 206.I've forgotten a couple of things.Could you have some complimentary toiletries sent up to my room? Thank you. Okay, a toothbrush, toothpaste..razor, mouthwash, deodorant, floss, Band-Aids, shaving cream, after-shave. And I feel like I'm forgetting something.Is there anything else you have that I haven't asked for already?Yeah, go ahead, send up some tampons.- What'd you get? - USA Today.Nice. Put it with the others.And I also got two more apples.We're four short of a bushel!God, I feel so alive. I love being in the country!Also, got these great salt and pepper shakers..- from the restaurant. - That's not cool.Dude, none of this is cool.Look, Chandler, you have to find the line between stealing..and taking what the hotel owes you.For example: A hair dryer, no, no.But shampoos and conditioners, yes, yes.Now, the salt shaker is off limits.But the salt..I wish I'd thought this through.I think I get what you mean, though. Like, the lamp is the hotel's..but the bulbs.. Oh, you already got that.Not my first time in a hotel, my friend.- Okay, how about this? - No, no, no.- You can't take the remote control. - Yes, but the batteries.Thank you. Thank you very much.- Let's celebrate with some maple candy. - No!At least tell me where you hid it.（中央咖啡厅）- Can I ask you a question? - Yeah.Have you ever had any..weird, romantic dreams?Let me think.When I was younger, I used to dream that I got married to Mayor McCheese. And on our wedding night, I ate his head.Okay.Well, this is like that..in no way.I had a dream last night that I wanted to kiss Joey.Wow! You mean like "kiss him" kiss him?Oh, yeah. I mean, it was pretty intense.- What brought that on? - I don't know.Maybe it had to do with the fact I saw him do a love scene.- A love scene? With who? - Olivia.Olivia?! I thought she was marrying Connor?!Oh, right. Real life more important.- You think my dream means anything? - I don't know.I mean, you saw him do a love scene.So maybe you don't have a thing for Joey. Maybe you have a thing for Drake. Well, it was Joey reading Drake's lines in the dream.Of course it was. Trust me, when it comes to psychology..I know what I'm talking about.I took two psych classes in college.You took the same class twice.- It was hard! - I know.- Hey. - Hi, Phoebe.Here, Monica, look what I got to wear when I play at your restaurant.Wait.Right? I think this might even class up "The Ballad of the Uncircumcised Man." Phoebe..maybe I wasn't clear before.I really love listening to your music here.But my restaurant, it's sort of an upscale place.Right, yeah, okay. I'll ask the butler to fetch my diamonds out of the vault. Phoebe, it's not what you wear.It's sort of your songs.I just don't think you should play at the restaurant anymore.Okay. Fine, I'll just..I'll take the hat back.There.Hey, so, you guys, the funniest thing happened at work the..My songs aren't good enough for your restaurant?Okay, we're still on that.- I didn't say they weren't good enough. - Then what's wrong with them? What, they don't go with your tiny portions of pretentious food?- Tiny portions? - Yeah, well, "Excuse me.I ordered the smoked salmon appetizer, but I can't see it. I can't see it."- Phoebe, it's not about quantity. - Well, it's not about quality.Oh, really? You wanna talk about quality?Have you ever heard of a "key"? It's what some people sing in.Well, at least all my songs don't taste like garlic.Yeah, there are other ingredients, Monica.So that's what we're doing.When I'm in a coffeehouse bopping along to one of your songs..I'm wearing earplugs.Earplugs or cloves of garlic?You know what? I take back what I said before.Keep playing at the restaurant, because with your music driving people inside.. my bar sales have gone up like crazy.What are people having, the garlic martini?So you wanna hear my work story?I'll save it.Here's your bill. We hope you enjoyed your stay.Oh, we did. And you still have all your lamps.- I didn't factor in the room tax. - Dude, don't worry about it.I found an unattended maid's cart. We're way ahead of the game.- Oh, my God. - What?There's something new in the bowl.- Look, we have enough. Just walk away. - No, but I want the pine cones.- There's a forest right outside. - It's not the same.- No, look. She's gonna see us. - No, she won't. I'm sly.Okay, go quick.Thank you for a delightful stay.My maple candy!It's just you. I thought someone was swinging a bag of cats against the wall.You'd better get back in that kitchen. The garlic's not gonna overuse itself.- Okay, you have to stop playing now. - Why?The only person my playing is bothering is you.- Oh, yeah? Let's settle this. Come on. - Get your garlic peelers off me.Excuse me? Excuse me?Hi, I'm Monica Geller. I'm the head chef here.Okay, I was actually expecting a little applause there, but whatever.Quick question. By a show of hands..how many of you were bothered by this woman's singing outside?Okay, okay. Well, I have a question.You can put your hand down.You made your point earlier when you spit in my guitar case.Okay, okay. How many of you enjoyed the music outside?Let me ask you this question. How many thought the music was fine..but not in keeping with the tone of the restaurant?Okay, well, who identified this restaurant's tone as "pretentious-comma-garlicky"? Okay, who thinks the food is delicious and a little pretension never hurt anyone? Okay, well, all right, who thinks the food is fine, the music was fine..but your evening was ruined by this incessant poll-taking?Excuse us.All right, here's a question.Who was so worried about her restaurant being fancy..that she made a big deal about her friend playing her music..and feels really bad about it now?Well, who was so stupid and stubborn..that she lashed out against her friend's cooking..which she actually thinks is pretty great?- I'm sorry. - I'm sorry too.Hey, you wanna stick around and I'll whip you up some dinner?Yeah, as long as it's free.The food here is ridiculously overpr..Who hopes the hand-raising thing is still cute enough that you won't hate me?- Hey. - Hey.Joey, do you have peanut butter on the back of your head?Oh, man. I thought I got it all.How..?How?I was making a peanut butter smoothie, right?I couldn't find this little plastic thingy that goes in the top of the blender.And I thought, "Well, you know, how important can that be?" Right?Turns out, very.Wow, definitely just Drake.- What? - How's it going with Drake?- I don't think it's going very well. - What?That scene I saw was so good.Well, I'm feeling really insecure about the one we're shooting tomorrow.Is this that thing you do when you say you're bad so I'll give you a compliment?A little.No, I really am worried. I have to make it convincing that I'm in love with Olivia. - So? - So I've never played that.Oh, honey, it can't be that hard. I mean, you've been in love before.Well, just once..with you.Okay. Well, this could be a little awkward.I'm just gonna blow past it.Well, look, can't you just use that method-actor thing..where you use your real-life memories to help you in your performance? What the hell are you talking about?All right, look, just try to remember how you felt when you were in love.. and think about that when you're playing the scene.Okay. Yeah, I think I can do that.Yeah. Okay, there's this party scene coming up.And Olivia and her husband are there..and all Drake wants to do is grab her and kiss her, but he can't.That makes me think about those times I wanted to grab you and kiss you.. but you didn't know, so I would just pretend everything was cool..but really it was killing me.Joey, you never talked about that before.Hey, you know what else I could use?There's this scene where Drake sneaks into Olivia's bedroom..and she doesn't know he's there, which never happened with us.I mean, he knows he shouldn't be there, but he just wants to look at her. You know?And I remember all those mornings before you even put on your makeup.. when I would think to myself, "My God, she is beautiful."And it hurt so much because I knew I could never tell you.But it was worth it just to be there looking at you.Thanks, dude. This is great!I got you something from Vermont.Besides tampons and salt?Oh, my God.Maple candy. That's so sweet of you.That's weird, it's empty.Hi, you guys. What's going on? You guys wanna hang out or..? Do you guys hear a buzzing?。

高中英语《Frinds老友记》第9季中英文对照完整剧本911 The One Where Racha

911 The One Where Rachael Goes Back to WorkScene:Chandler and Monica'sChandler: Hey!Monica: Good morning, Tiger! I'm making you a nice big breakfast so you can keep up your strength for tonight. You're gonna get me good and pregnant.Chandler:I've got nowhere to go this morning. I'm unemployed! I don't know what I'm gonna do with my life.Monica: Well, I just lost my erection.Chandler: I mean, what am I supposed to do with myself?Monica: You're supposed to find your passion in life. You can be whatever you wanna be now. It's exciting.Chandler: But it's all so overwhelming. I don't know where to start. Monica: Hey, wait a second. I can help you with this. You just need to be organized. We can make a list of your qualifications, and categorize jobs by industry. There could be folders and files! Chandler: Hey! This is where your hyper-organized-pain-in-the-ass stuff pays off!Monica: I know! My erection is back!Opening creditsScene:Central PerkJoey:(To Gunther who comes over with coffee and a muffin) Thank you! Phoebe:Joey, can I have a sip of your coffee and a bite of your muffin? Joey: Okay.Phoebe Thank you. (Pours his coffee in a thermos and puts his muffin in her purse.) Tha nk you!Joey:: Pheebs, have you ever been bitten by a hungry Italian? Phoebe: I'm sorry, it's just, I'm a little short on cash.Joey: If you want I could loan you some money?Phoebe: Oh no, no, no. I learned never to borrow money from friends. No, that's why Richard Dreyfuss and I don't speak anymore.Joey: Oh, hey, how about this? Wanna be an extra on my show? Phoebe: You could do that?Joey: Yeah, yeah. The pay is pretty good and you could do it for as long as you need.Phoebe: Oh my god, I'm gonna be on TV!Joey:Okay, now. I gotta tell you, being on TV isn't as glamorous and exciting as you think.Phoebe: Oh, really?Joey: No it is awesome!(Rachel and Ross enter with Emma)Ross: Hi guys.All: Hello.P hoebe: Wow! Hey, why are you all dressed up? 911 瑞秋复工嘿!早安，小老虎!我要让你大吃一顿，为今晚储备能量让你弄得我爽爽的，再播下种子今早我无处可去我失业了失去生活的目标我没性趣了我该如何是好？你该找回生命中的激情随心所欲、去实现梦想还不够激动人心吗!失业后的挫败感铺天盖地而来，我无从下手。

经典美剧《老友记》-第九季-第二十二集-字幕-对白-纯英文-看美剧学英语

Oh, that feels so good.Oh, lucky me. Coffee and a live sex show.- I'm sorry, what? - I'm sorry.- Nothing. I was just reading to Emma. - From Cosmo?Yeah. Yeah, it's:"Climax Your Way to Better Skin."So I have to go shopping today, which is my least favorite thing.I'm so bad at picking out clothes.So you need someone who knows fashion to tell you what looks good.Not me. Not me. Not me.- Oh, hey, Rach? - Yeah?- Maybe you could take Charlie shopping? - Oh, well..- I'm sure you have better things to do. - You kidding?Rachel loves to shop, and she has great taste.She's the one that taught me not to wear white after Labor Day..and to always, always, always put on underwear when trying on clothes.If you have the time, I'd really appreciate the help.Okay. Yeah, let's shop.Okay, you are gonna come back with some very classy clothes.And some slutty lingerie. Slutty!Okay, great. All right, bye.Pain in the ass!- That's off, right? - What's the matter, Phoebe?Mike's sister just invited me to a party tonight and he's gonna be there.She was like, "Don't worry. I asked him and he's totally okay with seeing you." So now I have to go so he'll think that I'm totally okay with seeing him.- Which you're not. You're hung up on him. - Exactly.You want him to eat his heart out, so you have to look fabulous.I didn't even think about that.Sexual politics!Phoebe, I'm taking Charlie shopping.- Come and I'll help you find something. - That'd be great.Oh, isn't that nice? The three of you, trying on slutty lingerie together.- That's not what we're gonna do. - Why'd you ruin it? Who was I hurting? The One With The Donor36I still can't believe this. My uterus is an inhospitable environment?I've always tried so hard to be a good hostess.I can't believe my sperm have low motility.While I was growing up, they sure seemed to be in a hurry to get places.- Hi there. - Hi.I'm sorry there wasn't better news from your tests last week..but I wanted to talk to you about your options.Okay.Even though your chances of conceiving through natural means aren't great.. you never know, so keep having sex on a regular basis.Oh, damn it!Don't worry. After a while, you'll tune it out.Given your situation, the options with the greatest chances for success.. would be surrogacy or insemination using a sperm donor.If you feel that neither of those is right for you, you could always adopt.Is that a hint?Because we love you, Dr. Connelly, but we don't want you to be our child. Wow! Talk about an inhospitable environment.Hi. Okay, you ready to go pick up Phoebe and go shopping?- Let's do it. - All right, have a good time.Not gonna find any clothes in there.- Hey, you guys. - Hi.Guess who's up for keynote speaker at the National Paleontology Conference? - Chris Bailey? - Yeah, right.When was the last time he made a submission deadline for an abstract?Why are you laughing?Just seeing what it'd be like to be a paleontologist.It's fun. Yeah.So you're up for keynote speaker?- Who's deciding? - Professor Sherman.- I'm meeting with him today. - He's a pretty tough guy to impress.I think I know how to dazzle him.You're not gonna to do a magic trick, are you?No.- Hey, guys. - I want to ask you something.I may get to speak at this paleontology convention.If I do, I'd love for you guys to come and hear me.I think I can safely say that we all have family issues, work and/or are sick.- It's in Barbados. - But you come first.I'm there.- I don't know Ross, I'm not feeling too.. - Barbados is in the Caribbean, Joe. Why didn't anybody say so?- See you later. - Okay, bye.- Bye. See you. - Bye.- So how did it go at the fertility clinic? - Not as much fun as last time. Apparently, you only get porn if you're giving a sperm sample.So, what did the doctor say?There's surrogacy, but Monica's dreamt her whole life of carrying a child.. and she just felt that watching a surrogate would be too hard for her.- So you're ruling out surrogacy? - Yeah.So I don't have to learn what that means?Aside from adoption, the only other choice is insemination..so we're talking about sperm donors.Enough said. I'm there for you, man. Where is she, upstairs?Your long-standing offer to have sex with my wife is appreciated.- But I think I'll pass. - So how do you feel about all this?I wish there was an easier way for us to have a child, but there isn't one. Come on, Ross, be a good guy. Step up and do it.What?What?! No! I'm not gonna give them Ben!The data we're receiving from MRI scans and DNA testing..of these fossils are staggering.I mean, we've been accepting Leakey's dates as a given.But if they're off by even a 100,000 years or so..then you can just throw most of our assumptions..you know, right in the trash.So, what I'm saying is..Is that..Is that repercussions could be huge.I mean, not just in paleontology, but if you think about it..in evolutionary biology, genetics, geology.I mean, truly, the mind boggles.Well, that's not what you want.- Incentive for Men? - I'll take some of that.- Phoebe, that's for men. - I know.When I go to the party later..Mike will know I'm over him because I'll smell like another guy.Okay.Oh, good, I'm dating a Russian cabdriver.Seriously, does anyone buy this? I smell like beets.I really like those jackets with the shoulder pads in them. Where are those? On Melanie Griffith in Working Girl.I think what you want is over here.See, I told you I needed someone.By the way, as a thank you, I would really love to take you out.- Really? - Joey and I are going to a movie tonight.- You want to come? - Oh, I can't.Because I've seen them.You've seen all the movies?Yeah. I'm a big fan.Of the movies.You know, motion pictures.The talkies.Rach, will you come with me to a dressing room?- Sure. - Okay.Maybe we could do something else.You know, that depends on what it is. I've done a lot of stuff.So, what were you doing out there? Do you not like Charlie?She's okay. I don't know, I just don't get a really good vibe from her. - Why? - I don't know.You know, just the way she waltzed in here all smart..and tall, you know..and just swept Joey off his feet. Nobody else has a chance.- Who else? - Anybody.You. Me.You know, Monica's mom.You like Joey?!Phoebe!All right, look, I do. I have a little thing for him. Just..- Oh, my God. - It's just physical.I have it totally under control, okay? It's just when I see them together.. sometimes, I just get a little jealous.Wow. Isn't that ironic that he liked you, and now you like..?I get it!All right, as long as it's under control.You can't do anything about it. He's already dating her.She is a nice person. That wouldn't be right.I know, I know. So it's just not a big deal.- So can we keep this between us? -Sure.Great, because I gotta get out of here. The smell of beets is killing me.Any chance Charlie has a deaf twin?- Hi, honey. - Hey.I brought a friend home for dinner. This is Zack from work.Oh, of course. It's so nice to see you again, Zack.- You too. - You guys haven't actually met before.But, boy, you're both polite.Have a seat. I'll get you a beer.- I got it. - Thanks.- So Zack's pretty nice, huh? - Yeah, I guess.So how would you like to have a baby that's half yours and half his?Excuse me?We're talking about sperm donors, and Zack may be the guy.Look. He's intelligent, he's healthy, he's athletic. I mean, he's sperm-tastic! Chandler, this is crazy. Well, what did you even say to him?"Come up. Meet my wife. Give us your sperm."I invited him to dinner so you'd get a chance to get to know him.With a sperm bank, you never meet the guy, get to check him out.- Chandler! - I'm telling you, he's great.I mean, even if my sperm worked fine, I think he'd be the way to go.I'm not going to be a part of this.You can't bring some random guy home and expect him to be our sperm donor. Okay.- Zack? - Thanks.Do you have a coaster? I don't want to make a ring.Tell me about yourself, Zack.Oh, God, do you think she heard? It'd be so bad if she heard.Maybe she didn't hear. I'll go into that dressing room and talk. You stay here. - See if you can hear me. - Okay, great.Oh, thank God, I can't hear a word that you're saying.- I didn't say anything yet. - Well, get back in there and talk.I'm Rachel.It's so annoying when I put Emma on the phone to talk with my friends. What?Well, some things are just hard to say to your face.Okay, well, I heard that. Which means that she heard it too.- We have a problem. - Oh, what are we gonna do?Just be honest with her.Oh, my God!It is annoying when parents put babies on the phone.All right, enough out of you!Thank you.Where did I go wrong? This is good stuff.- Hello? - I need to talk to Charlie. Is she there?No, she went shopping with Rachel. Why? What's up?I'm meeting with Professor Sherman about my being the keynote speaker.- How's it going? - It could be better.He fell asleep.What? But I already bought my ticket to Bermuda!- Barbados. - Fine, I'll rent a car and drive.You have to get that job.What am I supposed to do? He's out cold.In fact, he was just talking in his sleep before..and evidently he wants someone named Fran to "spank him harder."- Well, just wake him up. - I can't.If he realizes that I'm the one who put him to sleep, I won't get the job.That's a tough one.Oh, wait a minute. This happened to me before.Yeah, I was auditioning for a play, and the producer fell asleep. I..No, wait a minute.It was me who fell asleep.I mean, hey, Shakespeare, how about a chase scene once in a while?- Hey, guys, dinner's ready. - I'm gonna go wash up first.Thanks.What do you think? I want his genes for my kid. Those eyes, those cheekbones. Okay, there's enthusiastic, and there's just plain gay.- You don't like him. - I think he's fine.But we don't know anything real about him.- I wish we could get more information. - All right, just follow my lead.- You guys have a great place here. - Thanks. I'm crazy about our place. Hey, speaking of crazy..do you have a history of mental illness in the family?No. Although, I did have an uncle who voted for Dukakis.That's really not the kind of thing we're looking for.Okay.So tell me, how'd you guys meet?Oh, friends first, drunk in London, you know the story.I've got a better question for you:Do you or any of your blood relatives have diabetes?No.Heart disease? Alzheimer's? Gout?You guys don't have people for dinner a lot, huh?We're just making conversation.Yeah, well, okay. I heard a joke today. It's pretty funny.You know what's not funny? Male pattern baldness.You guys have shown a lot of interest in me tonight, and I'm flattered.. and quite frankly, a little frightened.Can we just talk about something else?- Sure. - All right.This ravioli's delicious.I notice you're enjoying that ravioli with a beautiful set of teeth.Did you have braces as a child?- No, I didn't. - Yes!We're teeth people, Zack.Let's just do it. Let's just go over there and see if she heard.- Good plan. - Okay.- What? Where are you going? - Oh, I'm sorry, Rachel.I don't have time for your childish games, okay?I still have to find something incredible to wear..so I can beat Mike at "Who's More Over Who"!- Where have you been? - Trying on clothes.-你去哪里了？ -去试穿衣服Oh, really? In the dressing room? Well, that's so weird.Phoebe and I were in the dressing room. Gosh, it's just such a small world. Rachel, I heard you two guys whispering.Oh, God, you did, you heard. Okay, look, let me explain.There's nothing to explain. I heard you.Phoebe likes Joey.Yeah.I don't understand it. I mean, Phoebe likes Joey..and then she's here to buy a dress to impress another guy?Yeah, that's Phoebe. That's Phoebe. You know, she just wants them all.It's, like, she's nympho.- Wow! - Yeah.You know, by the way, I heard you tell her not to do anything.Thanks for sticking up for me. God, you are such a nice person.I try.Oh, my God, you really want me to be the keynote speaker?Thank you!You're welcome.Wow! You look..stop-eating hot!Which is like the highest level of hotness.Okay, are you sure? Because I am really dreading going to this party. Then don't go.Mike knows I'm coming. If I don't show up, he'll think it's because of him.. and then I'm gonna lose face. That's a very serious thing in my culture.All right, then you go to that party, and you pretend to be over Mike. Afterward, you come to my place and I'll get you good and drunk.You got it. Okay.But not on the wine that you made, okay?Because I just don't want to go back to the emergency room.I'm sorry, I don't seem to have enough cash.You would accept rubles, would you?This is a hundred-thousand-ruble note, which is worth approximately.. nothing.- David? - Phoebe! Hi.- Oh, my God! - Hi.Wow! You look unbelievable.Oh, yeah, well..What are you doing here?Well, I'm back from Minsk. Permanently.Well, what happened?Remember how I was trying to achieve..the positronic distillation of subatomic particles?Yeah.Well, after eight years of research, I discovered..that it can't be done.- Oh, I'm sorry. - It's all right.This kind of thing happens all the time in science.To people who base eight years of research on a typo in a scientific journal. Well..great that you're back. How are you?- Good. Good. Life is good. - Good.Well, I'm seeing someone.- Good for you. - Yeah.She's also a scientist, so she's very smart and pretty and..It's actually because of you that we're together.I mean, I saw what you had with that Mike guy..and I just said, "Boy, I want that."- Mike and I broke up. - You're kidding me.Because I'm not seeing anybody. I just totally made that up.- Really? - I don't know why, I'm sorry.I guess I just didn't want to lose face.I understand.Yeah. Okay. So then, okay..So we're both living in New York, not seeing anyone.- That's so not like us. - Yeah, I know.Well, this is probably a stupid question, seeing that you look like that.. but do you have someplace that you need to be right now?Well..No.- Well, do you want to get a drink? - I'd love to.- Great. - Okay.Do you smell beets?All right, stay upwind of me.Hey, there's Phoebe. Is that Mike she's with?No, that's David.There's a third guy?Tip of the iceberg.I'm gonna take off now.You're gonna let me go home, aren't you?Sure you don't want to stay a little longer?No, I should get home. I'm kind of tired.Are you always tired?Because that could be a sign of clinical depression.No, it's tiring to figure out the age at which all my grandparents died.- I'll see you tomorrow. - Okay.Bye.I think we found our sperm.He does seem pretty perfect.Yeah? You think so? Should I ask him?No.Why not? Just because his great-grandmother was obese?Our kid's gonna get that from you anyway.No, that's not it.It's just that when we were asking him all those questions before..I just realized I don't care if he is the most perfect guy in the world.- He's not you. - Yeah, he's better!No, he's not.If I can't get pregnant with you, then I don't want to get pregnant by him.. or anyone else.- Really? Are you sure? - Yeah, I'm sure.Thank God, because l don't wanna do this either.I was just doing it because I thought that was what you wanted.I'm the husband. I'm supposed to bring the sperm.That is so sweet.I love you.So you know this leaves us with..Adoption.How do you feel about that?I think I feel okay about it.Actually, I think I feel really good about it.Me too.I wanna find a baby that needs a home, and I wanna raise it with you.And I wanna mess it up in our own specific way.So this is it? We're really gonna adopt?Yeah.- Oh, my God! We're gonna be parents! - We are gonna be great parents. And it could be soon.I mean, think about it. Right now, somewhere out there..our baby could be being conceived.Wait. If we're lucky, and we're really, really, really quiet..we may be able to hear the sound of a condom breaking.Hey, Zack.Hey, Chandler.I wanted to apologize for last night.I got the feeling we made you uncomfortable.- No, you didn't. - Really?No, you did.My wife and I have some boundary issues.Sometimes we ask inappropriate questions.We're working on it.- Here are the boards for Friday's pitch. - Thank you.You wouldn't know if Jeanette's planning on keeping her baby, would you?。

经典美剧《老友记》-第九季-第九集-字幕-对白-纯英文-看美剧学英语

This kitty is Mittens. This one is Fitzhugh.And this little guy in the cat condo is Jinkies.That's a lot of cats, Jo Lynn.Single, are you?- I'll get it. - Okay.Chandler Bing.How come you're answering your own phone? Where's your crazy assistant? You're not crazy. You're not crazy.Otherwise, why would you have all those cats?What's up, Joe?What have we always wanted to do together?Braid each other's hair and ride horseback on the beach?No. No. No. When you get home tomorrow night..you and I are gonna be at the Wizards-Knicks game, courtside!- Courtside? Oh, my God! - Yeah!Maybe Michael Jordan will dive for the ball and break my jaw with his knee! That is so cool. I'll let Monica know.These need your signature.Listen, Jo Lynn, that was my friend Joey. He calls everybody crazy.- Hello? - Hey, hon, it's me.Hi. How's the crazy cat lady?Joey just called.He's got courtside Knicks tickets for him and me tomorrow night.But tomorrow night's the only night I get off from the restaurant.If you go, we won't have a night together for a week.But honey, it's courtside! The cheerleaders will be right in..That's not the way to convince you.I don't wanna be one of those wives that says:"You can't go to the game. You have to spend time with me."So if you could just realize it on your own..I know. You're right. I wanna see you too.I gotta figure out a way to tell Joey. He's looking forward to it. Tell him you haven't seen your wife in a long time.Tell him that having a long-distance relationship is really difficult. Tell him that what little time we have together is precious.I'll think of something.The One With Rachel's Phone Number38I mean, it's just.. That dress..Well, I hope the ends of these sentences are good.They're good. It's just been a while since I've seen you like this. You clean up good.Really? Well, thank you.Okay, stop looking at me like that.- Last time that happened, that happened. - Right, right.So are you excited about your first night away from Emma? Yeah, yeah. Phoebe and l are gonna have so much fun.- Thank you for watching the baby. - It's fine.Actually, I invited Mike over.- Phoebe's Mike? - Yeah.- I didn't know you hung out. - We don't..but I'd like to get to know him.Maybe have a little dinner, drinks, conversation.That's so cute. Ross and Mike's first date.It's not a date.But if it turns out to be something more..I'll leave a tie on the door.Will that be awkward? What are you gonna talk about?I don't know. But you know, we have a lot in common, you know? He plays piano. I played keyboards in college.He's been divorced. I have some experience in that area.- Yeah? - Hi!Girl's night out indeed.So I think Emma is probably down for the night..- but if you need anything.. - We'll be fine.- You go have fun. - Okay, you too.- Thanks. - And I hope you score.- Okay. Bye. - Bye.So, welcome.- I got beer. - I got bottled breast milk.- Why don't we start with the beer. - Okay.- So Phoebe tells me you play piano. - Yeah.You know, I used to play keyboards in college.Do you have one here?No.Okay.You know, I'm divorced.Phoebe.. Phoebe says you're.. You've been divorced?Yeah, yeah.Yeah, I'm sorry. I don't really like to talk about it.That's okay. We'll talk about something else.- This is a nice apartment. - Thanks.The moldings are all original.I don't know if the moldings are original in my apartment.- So you're a paleontologist, right? - Yeah.My cousin's a paleontologist.Well, he and I would probably have a lot to talk about.- Welcome home. - Well, look at you.Yeah. What do you think?Well, it looks great. It's just..I'm wearing the same thing underneath, so..You see what I mean?Hey! How come your door's locked?- Just a second! - No, no, no!- Joey can't know I'm here. - Why not?I didn't want to say I couldn't go to the game..- so I told him I had to stay in Tulsa. - So you lied to him?It's always better to lie than to have the complicated discussion. Except with you.Hey, open the door! What's going on?- What are you..? - Hi.Why are you dressed like that?Because Chandler's gonna be home in a couple of days..so I thought I would just, you know, practice the art of seduction.I thought I heard a man's voice before.No, I was just doing Chandler's side of the conversation.You know, like, "Hi, how do I look?""Really sexy. Could I be any more turned on?" You know?Okay. Wait a minute.Why are there two glasses of wine out?Because one of them is for you!Cheers! Okay, bye-bye.You know, it's funny. I've been practicing the art of seduction myself.- You might wanna keep practicing. - Yeah.- It's Joey. - What?- Hey, Joe. - Dude, come home!- What? Why? - Come home!Look, I can't. What's going on?I don't know how to tell you this, but I think Monica's cheating on you!I told you, you shouldn't have married someone hotter than you!If you can't deal with this, then I'm gonna.- No! - I just heard him!Can you hear him now?No. All right, I'm going in.- No, wait! - I heard him again!All right, just stay there. I'm coming home.I'll see you when you get here.I'll wait out in the hall in case he comes out.- Is that really necessary? - Absolutely. You'd do it for me.Not that you ever have to, because I know how to keep my women satisfied.- Yeah, listen, thanks a lot. - Okay, bye.He thinks I'm a slut.Oh, right, and you're supposed to be a fireman?Shouldn't the pizza be here by now?I mean, they said 30 minutes or less. Well, how long has it been? Eleven minutes.And now 12.- So you wanna watch TV? - You think I haven't thought of that?I mean, I would like to but the cable's out.Didn't seem like such a big deal until tonight.- So you like the beer? - I do. I do.Although, it's actually a lager.What's the difference between beer and lager?I don't know.We could look it up.Things are about to get wild.Oh, God, remember the girls' nights we used to have..sitting around talking about you and Ross?Oh, God! It seems like forever ago.I know.So, what's going on with you and Ross?Well, I don't know. I mean, for a long time, nothing.But you know, actually, right before you picked me up..Ross and I had a little thing.Oh, my God! I love things! What happened?Well, first he told me he liked how I looked.And then we had a little..eye contact.Eye contact?I hope you were using protection.Excuse me, these are from the two gentlemen at the end of the bar.Oh, actually, I can't have another one on account of my breast milk. Okay.Hey, Rach, maybe there's a less disgusting way to decline a drink.Should we send them something back? Let's send them mashed potatoes! No, wait! Don't do that!That'll make them think they can come over.So, what if they do?We're not here to meet guys. You have a boyfriend. I have a baby and a Ross. Yeah, but nothing has to happen. We're just having fun.You know, not everything has to go as far as eye contact.Chandler, you have to tell Joey you're not in Tulsa.Isn't it better for him to think you're cheating on me..than for him to think I'm cheating on him?I heard it.I don't want him to think I'm having an affair.All right, I've got a plan. I'll go down the fire escape..Because all good plans start with, "I'll go down the fire escape."Hear me out, woman!I'll go down the fire escape and wait.Then it'll be like I just got back from Tulsa.Joey and I will come in and see that there's no guy in here.Aren't you afraid that Joey's gonna figure all this out?I heard it.- I'm gonna wait. - The scary pigeon's back?It's huge.I can't believe you live in that building. My grandmother lives in that building! Ida Greene? No sense of personal space..kind of smells like chicken, looks like a potato.- "Spuds" is your grandmother? - That's my bubbe!So we're on our way to a couple of parties.Maybe we could get your numbers and call if we find something fun? Yeah. I'm sorry, we weren't really looking for anything to happen..with you guys. I have a boyfriend.- All right. - It's no big deal.Just out of curiosity, which one of you was for me?- That would've been me. - Nice.Different situation, cowboy, and you would've had yourself a handful.So she has a boyfriend. What is your situation?Well, it's complicated. I don't actually have a boyfriend, but..Then can I have your number?I'm sorry, no.Okay.Oh, sure!Oh, my God, you're giving your real number!Okay, thanks. I'll give you a call later tonight.- Great. - Bye.Bye.So that's great.You, Bill, Ross and Emma are gonna be so happy together.What were you thinking?I don't know. He was cute, and he liked me. It was an impulse.Like when I bought these shoes. They were cute and they liked me too.But what about Ross? What about your moment?We had a moment. We looked at each other.Maybe if we live together for another 10 years, we may hold hands!But you were really excited about it.- Don't you wanna talk to him? - No.No, because I know exactly how the conversation's gonna go."Hey, Ross, you know, I think we had a moment before.""Yeah. Me too.""Well, but I'm not sure I really want to do anything about it.""Yeah. Me neither.""Should we just live together..and not tell each other how we're feeling?""Yeah, that works for me."Yeah, I see what you mean.By the way, nice Ross imitation.Your Rachel wasn't whiny enough.- Well.. Hey! - Better.The point is maybe I should just stop waiting around for moments with Ross. You know? I should just move on with my life.So really, you're moving on from Ross?I don't know. Do I have to decide right now?You kind of just did. That guy is gonna call you tonight.Ross will pick up the phone, and that's a pretty clear message.Oh, my God, Ross!Ross is gonna pick up the phone.I have to get my number back. Oh, my God, he's gone!"Oh, I have to get my number back! Oh, my God! He's gone!" Dead on.- You know, I'm gonna take off. - So soon?- Yeah. - Okay.Well, thanks.. Thanks for the beer.- You mean lager? - Yeah. Good times.- Okay. - All right.- Hello? - Hey, Mike, it's me.Listen, is.. Is Ross near you?No, I just left.And that, right there, is the most interesting conversation I've had all night. Really? Okay.Well, you have to go back in.What? Go back? To the land where time stands still?I'm so sorry, honey, but..Okay, Rachel gave this guy her number..and she doesn't want Ross to answer the phone.So you have to intercept all his calls.I can't do that!- He says he can't do that. - Give me the phone.Hi, Mike. Hi, listen, I know that this is a lot to ask, but you know what?If you do this, Phoebe will do anything you want.- Seriously, I'm talking dirty stuff. - All right. Thank you. Hello?Hi, I'm sorry about her. But actually, she wasn't wrong about the dirty stuff. All right, I'll do it.But really, how much dirtier can it get?Oh, Mike.Bye.Hey, buddy.Hi.- Can I come back in? - Why?Well, I was just thinking about how much more we have to talk about.But you left.That didn't take long.I thought you said Tulsa was, like, a three-hour flight?Well, you're forgetting about the time difference.- You ready? I'm gonna go in there with you. - Thanks.Just in case there's more than one dude in there.- Again, thanks. - Yeah.Chandler, you're home!That's right! Your husband's home! So now the sex can stop!You know what I mean.What are you saying?Joey said you're here with another man!There's no man in here! How dare you accuse me of that!All right. Then maybe you won't mind if me and my friend take a look around. He can't even see us!- I kind of liked it. - Me too.What's he doing?I arranged some pillows on the bed to look like a guy.Bedroom's clear. Although you might need some new pillows.All right, well, I'll check the guest room.Why do I smell men's cologne?I think that's you.Oh, yeah. I rubbed a magazine on myself earlier.There's nobody here, Joe.I guess not.I can't believe you thought I was cheating. You owe me an apology.- You're right. I'm so sorry. - It's an honest mistake.It could happen to anybody. See you.Wait a minute, wait a minute.If you just got back from Tulsa, how did your suitcase beat you here?I climbed down the fire escape, and you can't put that in the closet?So, with the exception of the fermentation process..beer and ale are basically the same thing.Fascinating, isn't it?Maybe you should look up "fascinating."I'll get it!Hello? Ross' place. Mike speaking.It's for you.I don't understand what just happened here.What's going on?I'm sorry.I told you I was in Tulsa because I wanted to spend the night with Monica..and I didn't know.. I didn't think you'd understand.You think I'm too dumb to understand a husband needs to be with his wife? You think I'm, like..- Joey? - Yeah.I don't know what to say. We shouldn't have lied to you.I feel so bad. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?You could go to the game with me. Even though you said you couldn't. But then you lied to me and tricked me and gave me a bump on the head. I'm sorry, that's the one thing I can't do. I promised I'd be with Monica.All right.- You can go. - What?You should go to the game. It's okay. I want you to.- Really? You gonna be okay? - Yeah, I'll be fine.You know, maybe I'll stay here and practice the art of seduction.- You're gonna put sweats on and clean. - It's gonna be so hot!- Bye. - Bye.Thanks.Here's your ticket.Thanks. Hey, listen..I'm never gonna lie to you again, okay?And I want you to know that nobody thinks you're stupid.Thanks, man.- Where you going? - Game's tomorrow night, Joe.I'm glad I got to talk to your mom. She sounds nice.Yeah, she's a peach.Oh, God!So glad you're back!So, what did you guys do?You know, we just drank some beer.Mike played with the boundaries of normal social conduct. It's true, I did.- Well, goodbye. - Okay.- Bye. That was fun, Phoebe. - I know. It was fun.See you, guys.Lock the door! Lock the door, seriously.Shoot, I forgot to pay Phoebe for the drinks.Wait, wait. Wait, sorry. Did he call? Did that guy call? No, just his mom.Around 8:30?- Yeah. - Then again at 9:00?Yeah.Hello?No, she's not here right now. Can I take a message?Bill from the bar?Okay, Bill from the bar, I'll make sure she gets your number. So.. So how was it?Did you guys..? You guys have a good time?We had so much fun. It felt so good to be out.Rach?Yeah?Never mind.- Hey, you guys. - Hey!I'll be right back. I gotta go to the bathroom. Stout. That's a kind of beer.。

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Guys! Guys! I've got great news. Guess what.- Monica's pregnant! - Really?Let's get past the moment.- What's your news? - Thank you.I got a job in advertising.Honey, that's incredible!Gosh, what's the pay like?Oh, come on, people.If I don't know who makes the most..how do I know who I like the most? Hi, Joey.It pays nothing. It's an internship.We have interns at Days of Our Lives.Right. So it'll be the same, except less sex with you.What do you think they'll have you do there?It's a training program, but they hire the people they like.- That's great! - There's gonna be some grunt work..which will stink. A grown man getting people coffee is humiliating. Humiliating and noble.Thank you.You know, if I didn't already have a job..I would've been good in advertising.Ross, you did not come up with: "Got Milk?"Yes, I did! I did!I should've written it down.The One With The Mugging26And I smelled bacon.- He just left. - Who did?Joey, you're never gonna believe it! She called!- She did? - You got it!- I did? - What is she talking about?I don't know, but it sounds great!Your agent called. You got that audition!- With Leonard Hayes? - Yes!Oh, my God, that is great! It's for a play on Broadway.And in a real theater. Not that little one underneath the deli like last time. - Is it a good play? - It must be.I read it and didn't understand a single word!- Leonard Hayes is starring in it. - Yeah, and directing.He was so good in that movie of Macbeth.- You saw that? - No, but I saw the previews.They played it right before Jackass.- He's done some amazing work. - Oh, yeah.I loved him in those phone commercials.When the monkey hits him in the face with the giant rubber phone.. Maybe the monkey will be at the audition.Don't make me more nervous than I already am!- Good morning. - Can I get you a cup of coffee, sir?Oh, no, no. I'm an intern, just like you guys.Except for the tie, the briefcase and the fact that I can rent a car. Seriously, you're an intern?I'm heading in a new career direction and you gotta start at the bottom.Dude.I know I'm a little older than you guys, but it's not like I'm Bob Hope.The comedian. USO.It's U.S.A., sir.This is Joey Tribbiani. Joey, these are the producers.And as you probably already know, this is Leonard Hayes.It is so amazing to meet you. I am such a big fan of your work.I've been blessed with a lot of great roles.Tell me about it, huh? "Unlimited nights and weekends!"Are you making fun of me? Because I am not a sellout.I didn't do it for money. I believe in those phones!I almost lost a cousin because of bad wireless service.No, I wasn't making fun of you. I think you were great in those commercials. - Really? - Yeah.Well, I do bring a certain credibility to the role.Are you kidding? When they shoot you out of that cannon.."Hang up that phone!"- One take. - Wow.- So shall we read? - Oh, yeah, sure.Top of Act 2. This is my entrance. You got it?What the hell are you still doing here?- I think you know. - Bastard!I am what you made me. You know what? I could go right now.- Go! Go! - I can't.Oh, I want to, Long Pause..but I can't.So sorry. You're not supposed to say "long pause."Oh! Oh, I thought that was your character's name. You know?I thought you were, like, an Indian or something, you know, with the.. No. Thank you so much for coming in. We appreciate it. Thank you. You don't want me to do it again?- I could do an accent. - No.You know, Southern. "l could go right now, mon!" Huh?My God in heaven.Joey, hang on. Leonard, can we talk to you for a moment?Yes? You've got to be kidding. He can't act.I don't care if you think he's hot.If you want to sleep with him, do it on your own time. This is a play.If you insist on this..I will call my agent so fast..on a cell phone connection so clear, he's gonna think I'm next door! Hi, thank you so much for whispering for my benefit.Tell me what I did wrong. I'd love to work on it and try it again for you. And also, how you doing?Give me another chance. I really want to get better. Please?If you want to come back today..- here are my notes. Ready? - Yeah.- You're in your head. Thinking too much. - I really doubt that.No, no. It's that you're not connected with anything in your body. There's no urgency. The scene is a struggle.It's a race. Also, what you did was horizontal.Don't be afraid to explore the vertical.And don't learn the words. Let the words learn you.Couldn't I just sleep with the producer?我快不行了，快爆炸了Hey, do you want to go to dinner tonight?I can't. I've got a date with that waitress, Katie.I know we've only gone out, like, twice, but I don't know..- I have a good feeling about her. - Oh, I hear divorce bells.Give me your wallets, and there won't be a problem.- What? - I have a gun.Okay, relax, Phoebe. Just stay calm.Oh, my God, I can't find my wallet!- All right, lady, now give me your purse. - No.What do you mean "no"? I knew you'd be my death, Phoebe Buffay! - Lowell, is that you? - Phoebe?- Oh, my God! - Unbelievable! Oh, my God!I'm sorry. Ross, this is my old friend, Lowell, from the streets!- Lowell, Ross. - Ross, nice to meet you.Yeah, a real pleasure.It's been so long! Oh, so long.- I can't believe you're still doing this. - I know. But I quit smoking. Good for you.You look like you're doing well.I guess your mugging days are behind you.Oh, my God. Phoebe, you used to mug people?Excuse me, Ross, old friends catching up.- How'd the audition go? - They want to see me again, but..Leonard Hayes did not like me.- What happened? - He said I wasn't urgent enough.Everything I did was horizontal, and I should be more vertical.- He said that I should think less. - Well, so far so good.Honey, I'm old!I didn't know you were coming home for lunch.- Can I get you anything? - Sure, a tube of Polident?Some Depends?Birthday wishes from Willard Scott.What's wrong?I am so much older than these other interns. I can't compete with them. So you're a little older.Look at the positive. You have all this life experience.Yes, but I don't think life experience is gonna help me with these.Wow! It's like they're on fire!- What are they? - Prototype sneakers.I need ideas on how to sell them. Which I can't do..because no self-respecting adult would ever wear these.I'll give you $500 for them.- What am I supposed to do? - Come on, sneakers are easy.- You wear them all the time. - They're not called sneakers anymore. They're called "kicks" or "skids." I think I heard somebody say "slorps." They've got wheels that pop out from the bottom so you can roll around.. because apparently walking is too much exercise."Kids! Kids! Roll your way to childhood obesity!"Kids today have such an easier time getting fat.Would you help me try to sell these?Okay. Have you considered using a girl with huge knockers?That's not what they're looking for.Hey, that would work on me.Why do you think I buy Mrs. Butterworth's?（中央咖啡厅）You'll never guess what just happened.- Phoebe and I got mugged! - Are you okay?Yeah. Phoebe knew the mugger.How do you know a mugger?I'm sorry, I have friends outside the six of us.Know how she knew him? Because Phoebe used to mug people. Seriously?Well, I'm not proud of it, but, you know..when I was living on the street and I needed money for food and stuff..- That is awful. - I wasn't rich like you guys, okay?I didn't eat gold and have a flying pony.I had a hard life. My mother was killed by a drug dealer.- Your mother killed herself. - She was a drug dealer.It was a good thing she knew him. I was about to do some serious damage. Okay.This must have brought back some bad memories for you, Ross.- Why? - Ross was mugged as a kid.- You were? - Yeah. And it was pretty traumatic.It was outside St. Mark's Comics.I was minding my business, seeing what kind of trouble Spider-Man was into.Wonder Woman.Anyway, I was heading towards this bakery..to pick up a couple of dozen linzer tortes for someone..when out of nowhere, this thug with a pipe jumps out and says:- "Give me your money, punk!" - Oh, my God.I know. And the worst part was, they took my backpack..which had all the original artwork I did for my own comic book, Science Boy. Oh, yeah! What was his super power again?A super-human thirst for knowledge.I better get to class.Are there any more of your friends I should look out for?No. Actually, you might want to stay away from Jane Street.That's where Stabby Joe works.- I think we have a problem here. - What?Back in my mugging days, I worked St. Mark's Comics.- Yeah? - A pipe was my weapon of choice..and preteen, comic-book nerds were my meat.So?There was one kid who had a sticker on his backpack that said:- "Geology rocks!" - "Geology rocks!"- Oh, my God! - I know! I mugged Ross!- You're late. - I know. I'm sorry.But can I just run to the bathroom?- No. Leonard doesn't wait. - But I am bursting with Yoo-hoo!Joey, here we go! Let's go. Very quickly.- I really need.. - We must go now, quickly.- Yeah. Yes, sir. - Ready?- What the hell are you still doing here? - I think you know!- Oh, you sick bastard! - I am what you made me! Know what?- What? - I could go right now.- Then go. Go! - Oh, I can't. I want to, but I can't!Cut. That was good!- Very good. You did everything I asked. - I did?Yes. Plus which, you've got this, I don't know, this squirmy quality..you bring to the character I couldn't have imagined.Here's what we're gonna do:Come back tomorrow for the final callbacks.Do all of this, what you got going now. But you know what?More. More. Can you do that?Sure. I don't have time to say thank you because I really gotta go!Look at that! Still in character. I like him.I plant seeds. I can't explain it. I don't know.- Hey. What are you doing? - Putting on the sneakers..to get in the young mindset, see if it sparks anything.- Oh, anything yet? - Yes, how's this?"They're so uncomfortable, it's like getting kicked in the nuts for your feet."-Hi! -Hi!You're probably wondering what I'm doing.No, that seems about right.Yesterday at my audition, I had to pee. Apparently, that makes me a good actor.I got a callback, so I'm drinking everything. Oh, by the way..that eggnog in our fridge was great!- Joey, that was formula. - We gotta get more of that.These aren't half bad. You should suggest these to Ralph Lauren. Okay, first of all, that's stupid. Second, I'm not allowed to talk to Ralph. All right. I feel younger already.Yeah, I think I broke my hip.- Hey, you! - Hey.Hey. How was class?No one asks me that. What's wrong?- Nothing. I really want to know. - Oh.Well, there was actually a rather lively discussion about the Pleistocene.. All right, nothing is worth this.I have a confession to make.Okay, you know that girl that mugged you when you were a kid?What are you talking about? It wasn't a girl. It was this huge dude.He had a pitchfork and a sword.You don't have to lie anymore. I know that it was a 14-year-old girl.- No, it wasn't. - Yes, it was.You don't think I would have defended myself against a 14-year-old..? - "Give me your money, punk!" - Oh, my God, it was you!I can't believe it. You mugged me?Yeah. And I'm so, so sorry, Ross. I'm sorry.But, you know, if you think about it, it's kind of neat.I mean, well, it's just that I've always felt kind of like an outsider.You know, the rest of you have connections that go way back..and, you know, now you and I have a great one.It's not the best!I know. Please forgive me. I don't know what to say.There's nothing you can say! That was the most humiliating thing ever.- Even more humiliating than.. - Let's not do this!And then, at the end of the commercial, the girls get out of the hot tub..and start making out with each other.That's interesting.Just one thought: You didn't mention the shoes.Who's next? Chandler.You start with a guy putting on the shoes.- He's about my age. - Your age?He's rolling down the street and he starts to lose control.Maybe he falls. Maybe he hurts himself.Just then, a kid comes flying by wearing the shoes.He jumps over the old guy and laughs. And the line reads:"Not suitable for adults."- Well, Chandler, that's great. - Thank you, sir.Or, man who's two years younger than me.You see, that has a clear selling point. It appeals to our key demographic.- How did you come up with that? - I don't know! I don't know!I was just trying to get into a young mindset, and stuff started to flow.- That is great. Good work. - Thank you.We'll see all of you tomorrow.The cold weather hurts my hip.Hey, Ross. I know you're still mad at me, but can I just talk to you for a sec? Sure, go ahead. Oh, sorry. Sure, go ahead.I just really wanted to apologize again.And also show you something I think you'll find very exciting.（街上的垃圾）Oh, my God! "Crap from the street!"Look, Ross. In this box..are all the things I got from mugging that I thought were too special to sell..or smoke.Anyway, I was looking through it, and I found..Science Boy.Oh, my God!I never thought I'd see this again.It's all here!What made you save it all these years?I guess I just thought it was really good.And maybe it would be worth something one day.You really thought Science Boy was worth saving?Yeah. But you should know I also have a jar of Vaseline and a cat skull in here. Still, this is amazing!Oh, my God. Thank you, Phoebe.You're welcome. Thank you for Science Boy. I learned a lot from him.You're welcome.Wait a minute. Did you add something to him?Oh, yeah.You see, the way you drew him..there was no way he was ever gonna get Gravity Girl.He looked like a Ken doll in those tights.What's that? What are you..?"Is that a beaker or are you happy to see me?"I don't get it.- I need an answer! - I can't tell you something I don't know.- You know! - I don't know!- I need an answer now! - You want an answer? The answer is..She never loved me. She only loved you.You knew this all along and you never told me?I can never forgive you, or myself. I have nothing to live for. Bang! And scene! Absolutely amazing.- The part is yours. - Thanks! Now I really gotta go.No, wait! Congratulations! You did it.You did it. You can relax now. Yeah.Wow! That's a big cable bill.You don't have a job, but you have no problem ordering porn.On a Saturday afternoon?I was in the house!Hey. Phoebe didn't by any chance mention that..She was the huge guy that mugged you? Yeah.I see. You didn't happen to tell..- Everybody we know? Yeah. - Great. Thanks.。