英文趣闻,笑话,名句等
经典趣味英语笑话7篇
经典趣味英语笑话7篇下面是店铺整理的经典趣味英语笑话，欢迎大家阅读!经典趣味英语笑话：太黑了，看不见After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?” 过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。
”经典趣味英语笑话：One real manThe ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of his domain were ruled by their wives. He had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and warned that any man who did not tell the truth would be punished severely(严格地，严厉地).Then he asked all the men who obeyed their wives' directions and counsel(劝告，建议) to step to the left side of the hall. All the men did so but one little man who moved to the right.It's good to see, said the king, that we have one real man in the kingdom. Tell these chickenhearted(胆小的) dunces(傻瓜) why you alone among them stand on the right side of the hall.Your Majesty, came the reply in a squealing voice, it is because before I left home my wife told me to keep out of crowds.一个真正的男子汉古代有一个国王，他想证明他领土内的男人并非像人们传说的那样，受到老婆的管制。
英语笑话大全
英语笑话大全1. What do you call…What do you call a bear with no teeth?A gummy bear!2. How does a penguin build…How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!3. Why don’t skeletons fight…Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!4. Why couldn’t the bicycle…Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired!5. What do you call…What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?An abdominal snowman!6. How do you organize…How do you organize a space party?You planet!7. Why don’t scientists trust…Why don’t scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!以上是一些有趣的英语笑话，希望给你带来一些欢笑和轻松的时刻。
无论是孩子还是成年人，笑话都是一种很好的方式来娱乐自己和与他人交流。
这些笑话用简单的语言和幽默的核心构成，适合用于练习英语口语和拓展词汇量。
当你了解了这些笑话的背后逻辑和双关意义，你会发现学习英语也可以是一件有趣的事情。
通过阅读和理解这些笑话，你可以开始锻炼自己的英语思维和语感，提高对英语幽默的理解能力。
同时，如果你用这些笑话与朋友们交流，也能增进彼此的情感和友谊。
笑话是一种轻松的交流方式，能够打破僵局，缓解紧张气氛。
英语小笑话段子
英语小笑话段子话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。
小编精心收集了短篇英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习!短篇英语笑话篇1A Woman's Answer女人的回答A husband said to his wife,一位丈夫对妻子说："Why did God create women to be beautiful but foolish?"“为什么上帝把女人创造得如此美丽却又愚蠢呢?”"Well," his wife answered at once.“噢，”他的妻子立刻回答道，"The reason is very simple.“原因很简单。
God made us beautiful so men would love us;上帝使我们如此美丽，男人才会爱我们。
God made us foolish so we would marry them."上帝使我们如此愚蠢，我们才会嫁给他们。
”短篇英语笑话篇2你知道我是谁吗?It was the final examination for a Biology course at a university.这是一所大学的生物课期末考试。
It was designed to weed out some students.考试旨在淘汰部分学生。
The examination was two hours long.考试时间为两小时。
After the exam booklets were provided, the professor told the class，分发试题册后，教授对学生们说，that any exam booklet that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be acceptedand the student would fail.两小时结束后任何没交的试题册他都不再接收，没交的学生一律不及格。
经典英语笑话8篇
经典英语笑话8篇下面是店铺整理的一些经典英语笑话，希望对大家有帮助。
经典英语笑话：A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets it down. While he is looking around the bar, a monkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey.The man asks the barman who owns the monkey. The barman replies the piano player. The man walks over to the piano player and says "Do you know your monkey stole my beer." The pianist replies "No, but if you hum it, I'll play it."一男子去酒吧，点了一杯啤酒。
他喝了一口放下。
当他环视酒吧时，发现一只猴子荡下来，在他阻止之前，偷走了啤酒。
该男子问酒吧招待，这只猴子是谁的。
服务员回答说是钢琴手的。
男子走到钢琴手面前问：“你知道你的猴子偷了我的啤酒吗?”钢琴手回答说：“没有，但是如果你能哼唱，我会为你演奏的。
”经典英语笑话：Traveling salesmen make their living visiting as many customers as possible. So speeding to get from one appointment to the next is not unheard-of. Which is how I got pulled over by a highway patrolman. "Don't you ever look at the speedometer?" the officer scolded. Before I knew it, the truth spilled from my mouth. "As fast as I was going," I admitted, "I was afraid to take my eyes off the road."因为旅行推销员为了谋生需要拜访尽量多的客户，所以超速飞车赶场对于他们来说也不是没有过的事情。
简短的英语笑话带翻译
简短的英语笑话带翻译篇一：短篇英语笑话10则带翻译短篇英语笑话10则带翻译① Goldfish金鱼Stan: I won 92 goldfish. Fred: Where are you going to keep them? Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath? Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛）them! =================================================================== 斯丹：我赢了92 条金鱼。
弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！② The Revenge 欺骗的代价欺骗的代价Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone a er you." Johnson: "But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!" =================================================================== 老农约翰逊就要死了。
他的家人都站在床边。
爆笑英文笑话带翻译
爆笑英文笑话带翻译爆笑英文笑话带翻译生活中烦心的琐事总是有的，你会有时不愉快，那你就来看笑话吧，开心一笑，烦心事就会溜走了。
以下是爆笑英文笑话带翻译，欢迎阅览!1.One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。
这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地上，手中抱着一头猪，并把它举得高高的`，好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。
城里人对农夫说，"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的，但是，这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫回答说，"时间对猪有什么意义?"2.a kiss At a dinner party, the speaker, who was the guest of honor, was about to deliver a speech when his wife sitting at the other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the word "KISS" scribbled on it. The guest seated next to the speaker said, "Your wife must love you very much, I see her send you a 'KISS' before you begin your speech." The speaker smiled and explained, "You don't know my wife. The 'KISS' she give me stands for 'Keep It Short, Stupid.'"3.The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have aparty.Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment,he said,"Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow.When the door open,push with your foot.""Why use my elbow and foot?""Well,gosh," was the reply,"You're not coming empty-hangded,are you?吝啬鬼请客一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了.他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼,找中间那个门,然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃.门开了之后,再用你的脚把门推开.”“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢?”“你的双手得拿礼物啊.天哪,你总不会空着手来吧?”吝啬鬼回答.I think that I'm a chickenPsychiatrist:What's your problem?Patient:I think I'm a chicken.Psychiatrist:How long has this been going on?Patient:Ever since I was an egg!精神病医师：你哪里不舒服?病人：我认为我是一只鸡.精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的?病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始.4.Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安? 老师发问道。
英语幽默笑话(优秀10篇)
英语幽默笑话（优秀10篇）英国人有他们独特的英式幽默，他们流传的英语冷笑话让人会心一笑，今天，小编给同学们收集、整理了几则特别有趣的英语冷笑话，希望大家能开心开心，一起来看看吧! 篇一一、The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.It#39;s all right, said a gentleman, don#39;t be afraid. Don#39;t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don#39;t bite?Ah, yes, answered the little girl. I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：吠狗不咬人。
;”“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”二、One student to another: How are your English lessons coming along?Fine. I used to be one who couldn#39;t understand the English men, and now it#39;s the English men who can#39;t understand me.一位学生对另一位说：“你的英语最近学的怎么样？”“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。
”三、An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:#39; How much this stuff?#39;#39;Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.#39;The lady said, #39;It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.#39;#39;I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.#39;#39;It is still too much,#39; replie()d the old lady, #39;give it to me for five.#39;一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。
简短有趣的英文笑话大全
简短有趣的英文笑话大全冷笑话是近几年新兴的一种语言现象,它轻松诙谐、别具一格,给我们紧张的生活增添了几分轻松的情趣,它一出现便受到了大多数人的喜爱。
店铺整理了简短有趣的英文笑话，欢迎阅读!简短有趣的英文笑话篇一好消息和坏消息An artist asked the gallery ownerif there had been any interestin his paintings currently ondisplay.一名艺术家问画廊老板，最近有没有人对他展出的画感兴趣。
"I've got good news and bad news,"owner replied.“这有好消息和坏消息，”老板回答。
"The good news is thata gentleman inquired about your workand wondered if it wouldappreciate in value after your death.“好消息是有一位先生咨询你的作品，他想知道在你死后你的画会不会升值。
When I told him it would,he bought all fifteen of your paintings.我告诉他你的画会升值，他就把你的15幅画全都买走了。
”"That's wonderful!"the artist exclaimed,"What's the bad news?"“真是太好了”，艺术家是喜形于色，“那坏消息是什么?”With concern, the gallery owner replied,"The guy was your doctor."带着关心的口吻，画廊老板回答，“买画的人是你的医生”。
简短有趣的英文笑话篇二倒霉的一天There was a guy in a bar, just looking at his drink.一个男人坐在酒吧里，看着自己的酒发呆。
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1.Anationwide campaign to discourage pedestrians from running red lights has commenced, and the strict enforcement of the regulations has proven somewhat effective, the People's Daily quoted W ang Changjun, head of the ministry's research institute on traffic management, as saying on Wednesday. 4月10日，北京市开始重点治理“不看红绿灯，凑够一拨人就走”的“中国式过马路”行为。
行人及非机动车的交通违法行为治理正式纳入交通秩序整治工作的重点，通过纠正、教育、批评和处罚等措施治理“中国式过马路”现象。
从5月6日开始，北京将正式在全市范围内对“中国式过马路”的行人处以10元罚款。
discourage pedestrians from running red lights就是劝阻行人闯红灯。
这也针对于“中国式过马路”（Chinese-style street crossing），即行人（pedestrian）过马路（cross the road）“凑够一撮人就可以走了，和红绿灯无关。
”闯红灯者（violator）经常说，他们已经等了很长时间绿灯了，或是绿灯的持续时间（duration）不够他们过马路。
3.A woman from New Hampshire, the US, was arrested for calling 911 because she wanted help ordering Chinese food.Police say 57-year-old Elizabeth Niemi called 911 to get medical help on March 15th. W hen the fire department arrived, they learned that she really just wanted help ordering food。
The police department investigated, and arrested Niemi almost two weeks later. She was charged with Misuse of Emergency-911.She was released on $5,000 bail and will be back in court this month。
近日，美国新罕布什尔州警方逮捕了一名女子，原因是她拨打911电话请警察帮忙订中餐。
警方称这名女子名叫伊丽莎白-尼米，今年57岁。
3月15日那天，她拨打911寻求医疗帮助。
消防人员赶到后发现，她仅仅是想让他们帮忙订餐。
警方进行了调查，并于约两周后将尼米逮捕，罪名是滥用911急救电话。
她在交纳了5000美元保释金后获得保释，将于本月出庭受审。
盘点《少年派的奇幻漂流》最经典的5句台词1》All of life is an act of letting go, but what hurts the most is not taking a moment to say goodbye.人生也许就是不断地放下，然而令人痛心的是，我都没能好好地与他们道别。
2》Pi : "Religion is a house with many rooms."W riter : "But no room for doubt?"Pi : "Oh yes! On every floor."派：“信仰就像一座房屋，可以有很多楼层、很多房间。
”作家：“那有怀疑的空间么？”派：“当然，怀疑在每一层都占了几间。
”3》I must say a word about fear. It is life's only true opponent. Only fear can defeat life.这里必须说说恐惧，它是生活惟一真正的对手，因为只有恐惧才能打败生活。
4》If every unfolding we experience takes us further along in life, then, we are truly experiencing what life is offering...如果我们在人生中体验的每一次转变都让我们在生活中走得更远，那么，我们就真正的体验到了生活想让我们体验的东西。
5》Then Richard Parker, companion of my torment, awful, fierce thing that kept me alive, moved forward and disappeared forever from my life.然后，那个让我生存下来的理查德·帕克，那个让我痛苦、使我害怕的凶狠的伙伴，径直向前走没有回头，永远消失在我的生命里。
2．6,000 dead pigs found in China river. Shanghai said it pulled hundreds more dead pigs out of its main river March 13, bringing the total to just over 6,600, triggering a public outcry in China where concerns over food safety and environmental pollution run high."在中国上海的河道里发现了约6,000头死猪，上海官方报道3月13号在河里已打捞出数百头死猪，估计河中死猪总数超过了6,600头，这立刻引起了举国哗然，大家都表示对食品卫生和环境污染高度担忧。
1. W ill and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger man. Will said, “Well, you know the Pacific Ocean ? My father's the one who dug the hole for it.”Bill wasn't impressed, “W ell, that's nothing. You know the Dead Sea ? My father's the one who killed it!”谁的父亲更强壮威尔和比尔在为谁的父亲更强壮而争吵。
威尔说：“ 喏，你知道太平洋吗？就是我爸爸为它挖的洞。
”比尔不屑一顾：“ 噢，那没什么。
你知道死海吗？那是我爸爸杀死的。
”哪个英文字最长？smile（笑），应为，smile的中间有一英里长（mile）man who runs in front of car gets tired一个人在车前跑会给车轮压扁（或者累）tired（车轮或者累的意思）man who runs behind the car get exhausted一个人在车后跑会吸很多车废气（或者累）exhausted (废气或者累的意思Feel Unhappy.心里难受Son: Is it wrong to give anyone mental or physical hurt when he felt unhappy?Father: Of cause, it isSon: Fine, now I am feeling so bad. I lost in two subjects this time. Father(angrily): W hat? You------儿子：是不是当心里难受时，就不应该再给他精神或肉体上的刺激？父亲：那当然！儿子：那好，这次我有两门功课不及格，我现在心里很难受。
父亲(气愤地)：什么？你……It’s not that. 不是那样的。
A: I saw seven girls share one umbrella and none of them got wet.B: Oh, that must be a very big umbrella.A: No, it wasn’t raining.A：我看见7个女孩共撑一把伞却没有一个被淋湿。
B：啊？那一定是把很大的伞吧！A：不是，当时并没有下雨。
Compare other things？比一下其他？Son: Mom, John has a pair of sho es with Gordon’s name signedMom: You just care about this? Haven’t you compared other things?Son: Yes, his mother is prettier than you.儿子：妈妈，John有双乔丹签名的球鞋。
妈妈：你只关心这个吗？不会比一下其它东西儿子：有啊，他妈妈比你漂亮He W onTommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?Johnny: W e played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他赢了汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？约翰尼：他害病卧床了。
他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
I Have His Ear in My PocketIvan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,What is the longest word in the English language?SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.Teacher: Please tell us.Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.两只鸟老师：这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。