圣诞节英语笑话有哪些_推荐三则

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关于圣诞节的笑话英文

关于圣诞节的笑话英文Jokes about ChristmasChristmas is a time for joy, laughter, and gathering with loved ones. One way to bring cheer to the holiday season is by sharing jokes and funny stories. In this article, we will explore a collection of hilarious Christmas jokes in English. So sit back, relax, and let's get ready to have a good laugh!1. Why did Santa go to music school?Because he wanted to improve his "wrap" skills!2. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire?Frostbite!3. What's Frosty the Snowman's favorite type of nacho chip?Frostitos!4. How does a snowman get around?By riding an "ice" cycle!5. What do you call a cat on the beach during Christmas time?Sandy Claws!6. Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?Because he had low "elf" esteem!7. What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?A "Holly" Davidson!8. What do you call a reindeer that tells jokes?A "Comed-deer"!9. Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor?Because he was feeling "crumby"!10. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a dog? Frostbite!11. Why did Santa install a swimming pool in his sleigh?He wanted to make a "splash"!12. What kind of carol does a cat like to sing during Christmas? "Meow-y Christmas"!13. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!14. What did the gingerbread man use to fix his house?Icing and gumdrops!15. What do you call Santa when he takes a break?Santa Pause!16. Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?Because he had low "elf" esteem!17. What do you call a reindeer that tells jokes?A "Comed-deer"!18. What's Frosty the Snowman's favorite type of nacho chip?Frostitos!19. How does a snowman get around?By riding an "ice" cycle!20. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a dog?Frostbite!These jokes are just a small taste of the humorous side of Christmas. They can be shared during family gatherings, office parties, or with friends to lighten the mood and bring smiles to everyone's faces. Remember to spread the joy and laughter this holiday season by sharing these funny Christmas jokes with your loved ones.In conclusion, Christmas is a time for celebrating and enjoying each other's company. Sharing jokes about Christmas can add a lighthearted touch to the festivities. So, go ahead and have a good laugh with these jokes. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!。

关于圣诞节的笑话作文英语

关于圣诞节的笑话作文英语1. Santa's Naughty ListSanta was making his list and checking it twice when he noticed that Rudolph hadn't been behaving very well. Feeling a little concerned, Santa decided to investigate. He walked over to Rudolph's stall and found the reindeer munching on the Christmas lights."Rudolph!" Santa exclaimed, "You can't eat the Christmas lights! They're meant to brighten up people's homes, not your tummy."Rudolph looked guilty but continued chewing on the lights. Santa, realizing he had to resort to extreme measures, called the veterinarian.After examining Rudolph, the vet looked puzzled. "Santa," he said, "I think I know why Rudolph is eating the lights.""Why is that?" Santa asked, eagerly awaiting an answer."Well," the vet explained, "It appears that he's not getting enough vitamin C."Surprised, Santa replied, "But I feed him plenty of carrots, which are high in vitamin C."The vet chuckled, "Yes, Santa, but did you know that Rudolph is extra bright because he hasa glowing personality?"2. The Christmas Turkey SurpriseIt was Christmas Eve, and the Evans family was preparing for the feast. As Sarah carefully stuffed the turkey, she noticed a strange object hidden in the cavity."John!" she called out to her husband, "Come quick! I found something unusual in the turkey!"John rushed into the kitchen to see what Sarah was talking about. He peered into the turkey and burst out laughing. "Well, it's not every day you find an engagement ring in a turkey!"Sarah's eyes widened in shock. "An engagement ring? But we're already married!"John smiled mischievously. "I know, darling, but I thought it would be fun to have a second wedding and surprise our family. Looks like I need to find a new hiding spot for the ring!"Sarah couldn't help but laugh at John's excitement. She hugged him tightly and said, "You never fail to surprise me, even on Christmas Eve!"3. Santa's DietSanta Claus was feeling a little self-conscious after eating too many cookies and gaining weight. Determined to shed some pounds before Christmas, he decided to go on a diet.Mrs. Claus, concerned about Santa's health, asked, "Santa, are you sure you want to start a diet before Christmas? You need to keep up your energy!"Santa nodded, "I know, my dear, but I've been overindulging, and it's time for a change." For the next few weeks, Santa replaced his normal cookies with carrots and celery. He even added a daily exercise routine to his schedule.On Christmas Eve, Santa had lost a significant amount of weight and felt healthier than ever. As he prepared to deliver presents to children around the world, Mrs. Claus couldn't help but compliment him."Santa, you look amazing! Your new diet has worked wonders."Santa smiled and replied, "Thank you, dear! But don't worry, I'll still save room for a few cookies tonight. After all, it's Christmas!"4. The Elf's New InventionIn Santa's busy workshop, one of the elves approached Santa with an excited expression on his face."Santa, I've invented a new toy that will revolutionize the way presents are delivered!" the elf exclaimed.Intrigued, Santa asked, "Tell me, what have you come up with?"The elf proudly presented a small device. "It's a teleportation machine! With this, we can instantly transport presents to children's houses without using the sleigh."Santa examined the device and smiled, "That's an impressive invention, but I'm afraid it won't work."Confused, the elf asked, "Why not, Santa? It's foolproof!"Santa chuckled, "Well, you see, the magic of Christmas lies in the journey, not just the destination. It's not just about dropping off presents. It's about the joy of riding in the sleigh, the anticipation of Santa's arrival, and the sound of reindeer bells. Let's stick to the classics for now, shall we?"The elf nodded, a little disappointed, but understanding Santa's point. After all, traditions are what make Christmas special.5. Santa's Cookie MishapOn Christmas Eve, Santa embarked on his journey with a bag full of presents and a growling stomach. As he visited each house, he couldn't resist snacking on the tempting cookies left out for him.At one particular house, Santa reached for a plate of cookies, but he accidentally knocked the milk over. The cookies tumbled into the spilled milk, creating a sticky mess. Santa looked around for a solution.Suddenly, he spotted a cat sitting nearby. Without thinking, he picked up the cat and dunked it into the milk and cookie mixture. He then delicately placed the cookie-dipped cat back onto the plate and hurried away.The next morning, the family found the mess and wondered what mischievous adventure had taken place. They assumed it must be Santa's doing. However, when they saw the cookie-dipped cat on the plate, the children burst into laughter.From that day on, the family always left out a fresh plate of cookies for Santa, along with a separate bowl of milk for the cat. They called it the "Christmas Cat Milk-dipping Tradition."。

圣诞节笑话英文

圣诞节笑话英文Christmas Jokes in EnglishIt's that time of the year when people gather together with their loved ones to celebrate Christmas. Along with the festive spirit, exchanging jokes is a popular way to bring laughter and joy to the holiday season. In this article, we will explore a collection of Christmas jokes in English that are sure to bring a smile to your face.1. Why was Santa's little helper feeling down?Because he had low "elf" esteem!2. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire?Frostbite!3. How much did Santa's sleigh cost?Nothing, it was on the house!4. What do you call a cat on the beach during Christmas time?Sandy Claws!5. What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?"Horn"-aments!6. Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?It needed a trim!7. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?An abdominal snowman!8. Why did Santa go to music school?Because he wanted to improve his "wrap" skills!9. What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claustrophobia!10. How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas? "Fleece" Navidad!11. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a dog? Frostbite!12. How do you know if Santa is really a werewolf?He goes "a-wolf" on Christmas Eve!13. Why did the gingerbread man go to school?To become a smart cookie!14. What do you call a snowman with a temper?A meltdown!15. Why did Santa's helper take the toaster to bed? Because he wanted to wake up to a pop-tart!16. How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming? He looks at his "calen-deer"!17. Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?Because he had low "elf" esteem!18. What do you call a snowman with a carrot in his left ear?Anything you want, he can't hear you!19. How does Santa keep his suits wrinkle-free?He uses Claus-tarch!20. Why did the girl bring a ladder to the bar on Christmas Eve?She heard the drinks were on the house!These Christmas jokes are a light-hearted way to spread cheer and laughter during the holiday season. Share them with your friends and family to brighten up their day and create joyful memories together. Remember, a good laugh is the best gift you can give to someone this Christmas!In conclusion, Christmas jokes in English can make the festive season even more enjoyable. These jokes add humor to the festivities and bring smiles to people's faces. So, don't forget to share the laughter and make this Christmas merrier with these funny and witty jokes!。

英语笑话-Christmas Present

英语笑话Christmas PresentLittle Johnny had a cussing problem and his father was getting tired of it. He decided to ask his shrink what to do. The shrink said, “Since Christmas is coming up, you should ask Johnny what he wants Santa to bring him. If he cusses while he tells you his wish list, leave a pile of dog poop in place of the gift or gifts he requests.”Two days before Christmas, Johnny’s father asked him what he wanted for Christmas. “I want a damn teddy-bear laying right beside me when I wake-up. When I go downstairs I want to see a damn train going around the damn tree. And when I go outside I want to see a damn bike leaning up against the damn garage.”Christmas morning, Little Johnny woke up and rolled over into a pile of dog poop. Confused, he walked down stairs andsaw another pile under the tree. Scratching his head, he walked outside and saw a huge pile of dog poop by the garage.When Johnny walked back inside with a curious look on his face, his dad smiled and asked, “What did Santa bring you this year?”Johnny replied,”I think I got a dog but I can’t find the son-of-a-bitch!”。

关于圣诞节的英语笑话[大全五篇]

关于圣诞节的英语笑话[大全五篇]第一篇：关于圣诞节的英语笑话关于圣诞节的英语笑话A half-eaten egg was a result it becomes a leftover egg!I wish Merry Christmas一个鸡蛋被吃剩半边，结果它变成了剩蛋！预祝圣诞快乐The thief and the judgeIt was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner.“What are you charged with?” he asked.“Doing my christmas shopping early,” replied the defendant.“That's no offense,” replied the judge, “How early were you doing this shopping?”“Before the store opened,” countered the prisoner.法官与小偷那天是圣诞节，法官在审讯犯人时也有点恻隐之心。

“你为什么而被起诉？”他问。

“采购圣诞节物品过早。

”被告答。

“这不算犯法，”法官回答，“你购物多早？”在商店开门之前，“犯人应道。

Jesus's TellyA child on Christmas time asked for some paper and crayons in order to draw a crib.Eventually the artistic masterpiece was displayed for parental approval.The manager, the shepherds, Jesus and Holy Family wore duly admired.“But what's that in the corner?” asked Mother.“Oh, that's their telly,” replied the tot.耶稣的电视机圣诞节时孩子要了纸和蜡笔，想画一张耶稣诞生像。

圣诞节笑话作文英文翻译

圣诞节笑话作文英文翻译1. Santa's FrustrationSanta Claus was feeling overwhelmed with the long list of presents to deliver on Christmas Eve. He decided to take a break and went to a coffee shop. Sitting there, he sighed and muttered, "Why can't these kids ask for simpler gifts like socks or ties?"Suddenly, a young boy sitting at the neighboring table turned to him and said, "Well, at least you won't have to wrap those!"2. The Real Christmas SpiritOne Christmas, a little boy asked his father, "Dad, what is the true meaning of Christmas?" The father thought for a moment and replied, "Well, son, it's about sharing joy and spreading love."The boy pondered for a while and then asked, "Okay, but why do we need reindeer for that?"3. Hidden SantaOn the night of Christmas Eve, a young girl tiptoed downstairs to catch a glimpse of Santa Claus. As she reached the living room, she saw her dad wearing a red Santa hat, trying to discreetly place presents beneath the tree.Confused, she asked, "Daddy, what are you doing?"Startled, her dad replied, "Oh dear, you caught me! Santa sent me an email saying he couldn't make it this year, so he asked me to be his helper!"4. The Uncooperative Christmas LightsA family was excitedly decorating their house with Christmas lights. They carefully untangled the wires and hung them outside. However, when they turned them on, only half of the lights lit up.Frustrated, the father said, "Why can't these lights cooperate? They're worse than the kids when I ask them to clean the house!"Upon hearing this, the oldest child chuckled and responded, "Well, maybe you should threaten to take away their electricity if they don't listen!"5. The Impatient ElfOne evening, Santa's elf walked into Santa's workshop and noticed that all the workers were annoyed and grumpy.Curious, the elf asked one of the workers, "What's going on? Why is everyone so upset?" The worker replied, "Oh, it's that new elf, Bob. He's always in such a rush! He's even been telling everyone in the workshop that the faster we work, the sooner we can all retire!" 6. Santa's "Evidence"On Christmas morning, a little girl discovered presents under the tree and excitedly exclaimed, "Mom, Santa came last night!"Her mom playfully replied, "Are you sure? Did you see him?"The little girl confidently asserted, "Yes, I found his beard!"Looking perplexed, her mom asked, "Where did you find his beard?"The girl grinned mischievously and declared, "Well, I found it on the bathroom sink. I guess Santa shaved giving a new meaning to the term 'Santa Claus!'"7. The Gift-Wrapping ChallengeTwo friends were wrapping presents together when one said to the other, "I'm terrible at wrapping gifts. I can never get the corners neat."The other friend smiled and handed over a roll of tape saying, "Just remember, if you can't fix it with duct tape, then you haven't used enough!"8. Santa's Innovative TechnologySanta Claus decided to upgrade his traditional reindeer-powered sleigh to a more modern vehicle. He upgraded to a self-driving sleigh with GPS navigation.One Christmas, while delivering presents, Santa's sleigh suddenly stopped in the middle of the street. Frustrated, Santa exclaimed, "Who designed this sleigh? It's stuck with a blue screen of 'sleigh not responding!'"These jokes will surely lighten up your Christmas and spread laughter among family and friends. Remember, laughter is the best gift we can give during the festive season!。

圣诞节笑话英语版

圣诞节笑话英语版A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goats' milk was used. She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing. These, she explained, were the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produced. She then asked, "What do you do with your older goats in America?" A spry old gentleman answered, "They send us on bus tours!"I plimented one of my co-workers on having lost ten pounds. However, I couldn't resist bragging that when I was 17, 1 weighed 225 pounds and today I tip the scales at 224.1 added, "That's not bad for a man of my age."Overhearing this, a woman remarked, "You mean to say it took you all this time to lose one pound?"I teach puter courses, and my students often call me at home with questions. One morning I was on the phone, explaining in puter language the solution to a problem, while a repairman was fixing my refrigerator. After an endless stream of "C colon, back- slash, greater than, cd, backslash, DOS, 0 colon" and so on, I hung up and found the repairman staring at me. "Lady," he asked, are you a spy?"。

圣诞节笑话作文英语版

圣诞节笑话作文英语版Christmas is a time of joy, laughter, and cheer. This festive season brings people together to celebrate and exchange gifts. And what better way to spread the Christmas spirit than with some hilarious jokes!1. Why was the turkey at the Christmas party so quiet?Because it was stuffed!2. Why did Santa go to music school?Because he wanted to improve his “wrap” skills!3. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire?Frostbite!4. What do you call a cat on the beach during Christmas time?Sandy Claws!5. Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?Because it needed a trim!6. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a baker?Frosty buns!7. Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?Because he had low “elf-esteem”!8. What do you call Santa when he loses his pants?Saint Knickerless!9. Why was the math book sad during Christmas?Because it had too many “problems”!10. What do snowmen use to keep their homes warm?Iced heating!11. What did the gingerbread man use to fix his house?Icing and gumdrops!12. Why was the music teacher not allowed to park his sleigh on school grounds?Because it was “Carolling”!13. What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree and an iPad?A pineapple!14. Why did the ornament go to school?Because it wanted to be a “smart” bulb!15. How does Santa keep his suits wrinkle-free?He “presses” them!16. What do you call Santa when he takes time off?Saint “Nick” of Time!17. Why couldn't the Christmas tree stand up?Because it had “tinsel” issues!18. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?An abdominal snowman!19. Why was the Christmas dessert in such a hurry? Because it wanted to get “served”!20. What do snowmen call their children?Chill-dren!21. Why did Santa go to school?To brush up on his “wrap” skills!22. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!23. Why was the math book sad during Christmas? Because it had too many “problems”!24. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!25. Where do snowmen keep their money?In a snow bank!26. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a dog? Frosty paws!27. Why was the snowman anxious?He felt “meltdown” moments away!28. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?Frosted Snowflakes!29. Why did Santa go to the bank?To check his “sleigh” balance!30. How do snowmen get around?They ride the “icicle”!31. Why was the elf a great singer?Because he had “elf-taught” talent!32. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!33. Why did the ornament go to school?Because it wanted to be a “smart” bulb!34. How does Santa keep his suits wrinkle-free?He “presses” them!35. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!36. Why was Santa's helper feeling down?He had low “elf-esteem”!37. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a baker? Frosty buns!38. How do sheep say Merry Christmas in Mexico?Fleece Navidad!39. What is the cow's favorite Christmas carol?MOO-ry Christmas!40. Why don't polar bears like Christmas?Because they can't find the North Pole!41. What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree and an iPad? An apple tree!42. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a baker? Frosty buns!43. Why did the Thanksgiving turkey go to the Christmas party? To see if he could “gobble” up some fun!44. What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree and an iPad?A pineapple!45. Why did Santa's helper go to school?Because he wanted to improve his “elf-esteem”!46. What do sheep say to each other during Christmas?Merry Christmas to ewe!47. How do you know if Santa is a fan of the NBA?He always goes “Hoop Hoop Hooray”!48. Why did the elf put his money in the blender?Because he wanted to make some “liquid” assets!49. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?Ice Krispies!50. Why was the snowman called Frosty so optimistic? Because he always looked for the silver lining in the blizzard!51. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire?Frostbite!52. Why did Santa go to music school?Because he wanted to improve his “wrap” skil ls!53. What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective?Santa Clues!54. Why was the scarecrow invited to the Christmas party? Because he was outstanding in his “field”!55. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky? Looks like rain, dear!56. Why did Santa's helper feel low on Christmas?He had a low “elf-esteem”!57. What do you call Santa when he plays the piano?Santa “Chords”!58. Why did the ornament go to the doctor?Because it felt un-glassy!59. What do snowmen use to communicate?Brrr-mail!60. Why did Santa go to the doctor?Because he had a “sleigh” cough!61. What do sheep say during Christmas?Fleece Navidad!62. Why did the rambunctious reindeer get detention in school? Because he couldn't “sleigh” down!63. What do you get if you cross a cookie with a snowstorm? Frosting!64. Why did the elf go to school?To become “elf” sufficient!65. Why did Santa go to the veterinarian?To get some “claws”!66. What do you call Santa when he loses his hat?Saint “I Can't Find My Cap”!67. What did the gingerbread man say to Santa?“You're one tough “cookie”!”68. Why did Santa's helper feel nervous?Because he had a lot of toy “assembly”!69. What do elves use to take notes?Pointy “elf- pencils”!70. Why did the penguin slide down the hill during Christmas? Because it didn't want to take the “ice-steps”!71. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!72. Why did Santa go to music school?Because he wanted to improve his “wrap” skills!73. What do you call Santa when he loses his pants?Saint “Nick”erless!74. Why couldn't the Christmas tree stand up?Because it had tinsel issues!75. What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree and an iPad?A pineapple!76. Why did Santa's helper feel down?He had low “elf-esteem”!77. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a baker?78. What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!79. Where do snowmen keep their money?In a snow bank!80. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog? Frosty paws!81. Why was the snowman anxious?He felt “meltdown” moments away!82. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?Frosted Snowflakes!83. Why did Santa go to the bank?To check his “sleigh” balance!84. How do snowmen get around?They ride the “icicle”!85. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!86. Why did the ornament go to school?Because it wanted to be a “smart” bulb!87. How does Santa keep his suits wrinkle-free?He “presses” them!88. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!89. Why was Santa's helper feeling down?He had low “elf-esteem”!90. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a baker?91. How do sheep say Merry Christmas in Mexico?Fleece Navidad!92. What is the cow's favorite Christmas carol?MOO-ry Christmas!93. Why don't polar bears like Christmas?Because they can't find the North Pole!94. What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree and an iPad? An apple tree!95. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a baker? Frosty buns!96. Why did the Thanksgiving turkey go to the Christmas party? To see if he could “gobble” up some fun!97. What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree and an iPad?A pineapple!98. Why did Santa's helper go to school?Because h e wanted to improve his “elf-esteem”!99. What do sheep say to each other during Christmas?Merry Christmas to ewe!100. How do you know if Santa is a fan of the NBA?He always goes “Hoop Hoop Hooray”!101. Why did the elf put his money in the blender?Because he wanted to make some “liquid” assets!102. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?Ice Krispies!103. Why was the snowman called Frosty so optimistic?Because he always looked for the silver lining in the blizzard! 104. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!105. Why did Santa go to music school?Because he wanted to improve his “wrap” skills!106. What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective?Santa Clues!107. Why was the scarecrow invited to the Christmas party? Becau se he was outstanding in his “field”!108. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky? Looks like rain, dear!109. Why did Santa's helper feel low on Christmas?He had a low “elf-esteem”!110. What do you call Santa when he plays the piano?Santa “Chords”!111. Why did the ornament go to the doctor?Because it felt un-glassy!112. What do snowmen use to communicate?Brrr-mail!113. Why did Santa go to the doctor?Because he had a “sleigh” cough!114. What do sheep say during Christmas?Fleece Navidad!115. Why did the rambunctious reindeer get detention in school? Because he couldn't “sleigh” down!116. What do you get if you cross a cookie with a snowstorm?Frosting!117. Why did the elf go to school?To become “elf” sufficient!118. Why did Santa go to the veterinarian?To get some “claws”!119. What do you call Santa when he loses his hat?Saint “I Can't Find My Cap”!120. What did the gingerbread man say to Santa?“You're one tough “cookie”!”121. Why did Santa's helper feel nervous?Be cause he had a lot of toy “assembly”!122. What do elves use to take notes?Pointy “elf-pencils”!123. Why did the penguin slide down the hill during Christmas? Because it didn't want to take the “ice-steps”!124. Why did Santa's reindeer name their band "The Chocolate Bars"? Because there was no wrapper on the roof!125. Why did the ornament go to the doctor?It felt “un-tree-ated”!126. Santa's reindeer is named Olive, why?Because he "Olive" to laugh!127. Why do Christmas trees hate going to work?Because their days are always "tinsel-ing"!128. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?An abdominal snowman!129. Why don't Christmas ornaments play cricket?Because they keep getting caught in the box’s "crease"!130. What did the gingerbread man say to Santa?You're one “smart cookie”!131. Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?Because he wanted to sleep “toasty”!132. Why did the Christmas lights get confused?Because they weren't very “bright”!133. Why did the Christmas tree go to school?Because it wanted to become a "smarty" tree!134. What do you call a snowman party?A “Snow-ball”!135. What do sheep say to each other during Christmas?Merry Christmas to ewe!136. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!137. They say that Santa Claus only comes once a year...But with the mess he leaves behind, you'd think he'd come more often! 138. Why did Santa's helper feel low self-esteem?He had low "elf-esteem"!139. Why did Santa prioritize the guitar before the drums? Because he needed to re-string the bells!140. What's Santa Claus’ favorite form of exercise?North Polerobics!141. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!142. What did baby corn say to its mother on Christmas morning?"Where's Popcorn?"143. Why does Santa always go down the chimney?Because it soots him!144. Who is Santa's favorite singer?Elf-is Presley!145. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!146. Why did Santa go to music school?To improve his “wrap” skills!147. What do you call Santa when he loses his pants?Saint Knicker-less!148. Why couldn't the Christmas tree stand up?It had tinsel issues!149. What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree and an iPad?A pineapple!150. Why did Santa's helper feel low?He had "elf-esteem" issues!151. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a baker? Frosty buns!152. What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!153. Where do snowmen keep their money?In a snow bank!154. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog? Frosty paws!155. Why was the snowman anxious?He was feeling a "meltdown" coming!156. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?Frosted Snowflakes!157. Why did Santa go to the bank?To check his sleigh balance!158. How do snowmen get around?They ride the "icicle"!159. Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?He had low "elf-esteem"!160. What do snowmen use to take notes?Brrr-mail!161. Why did Santa go to the doctor?Because he had a "sleigh" cough!162. What do sheep say during Christmas?Fleece Navidad!163. Why did the rambunctious reindeer get detention in school? He couldn't "sleigh" down!164. What do you get if you cross a cookie with a snowstorm? Frosting!165. Why did the elf go to school?To become "elf" sufficient!166. Why did Santa go to the veterinarian?To get some "claws"!167. What do you call Santa when he loses his hat?Saint "I Can't Find My Cap"!168. What did the gingerbread man say to Santa?"You're one tough 'cookie'!"169. Why did Santa's helper feel nervous?Because he had a lot of toy "assembly"!170. What do elves use to take notes?Pointy "elf pencils"!171. Why did the penguin slide down the hill during Christmas? Because it didn't want to take the "ice-steps"!172. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?Ice Krispies!173. Why was the snowman called Frosty so optimistic? Because he always looked for the silver lining in the blizzard! 174. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!175. Why did Santa go to music school?Because he wanted to improve his "wrap" skills!176. What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective?Santa Clues!177. Why was the scarecrow invited to the Christmas party? Because he was "outstanding" in his "field"!178. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky? Looks like rain, dear!179. Why did Santa's helper feel low on Christmas?He had a low "elf-esteem"!180. What do you call Santa when he plays the piano?Santa "Chords"!181. Why did the ornament go to the doctor?Because it felt un-glassy!182. What do snowmen use to communicate?Brrr-mail!183. Why did Santa go to the doctor?Because he had a "sleigh" cough!184. What do sheep say during Christmas?Fleece Navidad!185. Why did the rambunctious reindeer get detention in school? Because he couldn't "sleigh" down!186. What do you get if you cross a cookie with a snowstorm? Frosting!187. Why did the elf go to school?To become "elf" sufficient!188. Why did Santa go to the veterinarian?To get some "claws"!189. What do you call Santa when he loses his hat?Saint "I Can't Find My Cap"!190. What did the gingerbread man say to Santa?"You're one tough 'cookie'!"191. Why did Santa's helper feel nervous?Because he had a lot of toy "assembly"!192. What do elves use to take notes?Pointy "elf pencils"!193. Why did the penguin slide down the hill during Christmas? Because it didn't want to take the "ice-steps"!194. Why did the snowman bring a torch to Christmas dinner?Because Christmas pudding got him all "melted"!195. Why was the Christmas tree trying to knit a sweater? Because it wanted to "knit" itself something nice!196. What do you get if you cross Santa's reindeer with a flower? Rudolph the red-nose "roses"!197. Why did the snowman get invited to the Christmas dinner? Because he was "cool"!198. What do you call an elf that can sing well?Elf-is Presley!199. Why did Santa's reindeer complain about their jobs? Because they didn't get enough "carrot" time!200. Why did Mrs. Claus end up calling a doctor on Christmas Eve?。

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圣诞节英语笑话有哪些?推荐三则
圣诞节英语笑话有哪些?推荐数三则
圣诞节英语笑话一.the thief and the judge
it was christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "what are you charged with?" he asked.
"doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"that's no offense," replied the judge, "how early were you doing this shopping?"
"before the store opened," countered the prisoner.
法官与小偷
那天是圣诞节，法官在审讯犯人时也有点恻隐之心。

“你为什么而被起诉?”他问。

“采购圣诞节物品过早。

”被告答。

“这不算犯法，”法官回答，“你购物多早?”
在商店开门之前，“犯人应道。

圣诞节英语笑话二.jesus's telly
a child on christmas time asked for some paper and crayons in order to draw a crib. eventually the artistic masterpiece was displayed for parental approval. the manager, the shepherds, jesus and holy family wore duly admired.
"but what's that in the corner?" asked mother.
"oh, that's their telly," replied the tot.
耶稣的电视机
圣诞节时孩子要了纸和蜡笔，想画一张耶稣诞生像。

最后这件艺术品被陈列出来供父母鉴赏。

他们对耶稣诞生后睡的马槽，牧羊人，耶稣及其家庭都逐一表示赞赏。

“可是那个角落里是什么?”妈妈问。

“噢，那是他们的电视机，”孩子回答说。

圣诞节英语笑话三
on christmas eve santa claus met an honest politician and a kind lawyer while riding up in an elevator of a very exclusive hotel. just before the doors opened the three of them noticed a 1000nt bill lying on the floor. which one of them do you think picked it up?
answer: santa of course! why? because everybody knows that the other two don’t exist!
圣诞节前夕，圣诞老人和一清廉的政治人物，以及一心地善良的律师在一家高级饭店一同等电梯，门还未开前，三人同时看到地上有一张新台币1000元的钞票，猜猜谁会将它捡起?
答案：当然是圣诞老人啦!为什么?因为大家都知道另外两者并不存在。