经典英语笑话故事大全
【英语小笑话带翻译】 20个英语笑话爆笑超短
【英语小笑话带翻译】20个英语笑话爆笑超短笑话一般比较短小,喜剧性很强,普遍存在于人们的日常生活中。
笑话的娱乐作用可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康。
小编精心收集了英语小笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!英语小笑话带翻译篇1Ivancamehomewithabloodynose伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。
andhismotherasked,"Whathappened?"他妈妈问，“发生了什么事?”"Akidbitme,"repliedIvan.“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
"Wouldyourecognizehimifyousawhimagain?"askedhismother.“再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问。
"I'dknowhimanywhere,"saidIvan.“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。
"Ihavehisearinmypocket."“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。
”英语小笑话带翻译篇2Theschoolgirlwassittingwithherfeetstrechedfaroutintothe aisle,个女学生坐在座位上，脚却伸到课桌间的走道里andwasbusilychewinggum,嘴里起劲地嚼着口香糖，whentheteacherespiedher.被老师发现了"Mary!"calledtheteachersharply.“玛丽!”老师严厉地叫她。
"Yes,Madam?"questionedthepupil,“什么事，老师?”这女学生问。
"Takethatgumoutofyourmouthandputyourfeetin!"“把口香糖从嘴里拿出来，把脚放进去。
”英语小笑话带翻译篇3Amanwalksintoabarandordersabeer.一男子去酒吧，点了一杯啤酒。
搞笑的英语笑话_超级搞笑的英语笑话精选
竭诚为您提供优质的服务，优质的文档，谢谢阅读/双击去除搞笑的英语笑话_超级搞笑的英语笑话精选笑话往往是指能引人发笑的谈话或故事。
作为文体,篇幅短小,故事情节简单而巧妙,往往出人意料,取得令人捧腹的艺术效果。
本文是超级搞笑的英语笑话，希望对大家有帮助!超级搞笑的英语笑话篇一汤姆是个小孩Tomisalittleboy,andheisonlysevenyearsold.oncehegoes toacinema.Itisthefirsttimeforhimtodothat.hebuysatic ketandgoesin.butaftertwoorthreeminuteshecomesout,an dbuysthesecondticketandgoesinagain.Afterafewminutes hecomesoutagainandbuysthethirdticket.Twoorthreeminu tesafterthathecomesoutandasksforanotherticket.butag irlaskshim,“whydoyoubuysomanytickets?howmanyfriendsdoyoumeet?”“No,Ihavenofriendshere,butabigwomanalwaysstopsme atthedoorandcutsupmyticket.”汤姆是个小孩，他才7岁。
当他去电影院的时候。
那时他第一次去。
他买了张票进去了。
但没过两三分钟他就出来了，然后买了第二张票又进去了。
几分钟后他又出来买了第三张票。
接着两三分钟后他又出来买票。
一个女的问她，“你为什么要买那么多票啊?你见到了几个朋友?""没有，我里面没朋友，但是每当我进门的时候一位大的女人老把我的票给剪了"超级搞笑的英语笑话篇二Teacher:wouldshakespearebeagreatmanifhewerestillali vetoday?student:ofcourse.hemustbeagreatman,forsofarnobodyha slivedtoover400years.一名伟人老师：如果莎士比亚还活着，他会是一名伟人吗?学生：当然。
英语爆笑笑话6则带翻译双语阅读
英语爆笑笑话6则带翻译双语阅读笑话是指以一句短语或一个小故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑，或是产生幽默感，另外一个行动(动作)型的笑话是以动作影响人的视觉及观感，而感到好笑。
下面一起来看一下一些爆笑英语笑话吧。
In music class, the teacher asked Jack: “Please answer me what the oldest musical instrument is.”音乐课上，老师问杰克：“请回答，世界上最古老的乐器是什么?”Jack answered unhesitatingly: “It is the accordion.”杰克坚定地回答：“是手风琴。
”The teacher asked doubtfully: “Why do you say that it is the accordion, my dear boy?”老师疑惑地问：“为什么是手风琴呢，英语笑话我可爱的孩子?”Jack s aid: “Teacher, don’t you see that the accordion is completely covered by wrinkles.”杰克说：“老师，您没看见手风琴上全是皱纹吗?”最好的解释The Best ExplanationOnce in a physics class, Tom’s teacher asked the students: “When it thunders, why do we see the lightning first, then hear the thunders?”一次物理课上，汤姆的老师问同学们：“当打雷的时候，为什么我们先看到闪电，然后才听到雷声呢?”Tom answered the question very quickly, while his classmates were thinking it hard.当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，英语笑话汤姆很快就答了上来。
短的英语笑话故事大全（精选10篇）
短的英语笑话故事大全（精选10篇）笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。
大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象，具有讽刺性和娱乐性。
其趣味有高下之分。
接下来由小编为大家整理出短的英语笑话故事大全（精选10篇），仅供参考，希望能够帮助到大家！短的英语笑话故事1Where is your beard?After many years, a young Jewish Talmud student who had left the old country for America returns to visit the family. "But--where is your beard?" asks his mother upon seeing him. "Mama," he replies, "in America, nobody wears a beard." "But at least you keep the Sabbath?" "Mama, business is business. In America, everybody works on the Sabbath." "But kosher food you still eat?" "Mama, in America, it is very difficult to keep kosher." The old lady ponders this information and then leans over and whispers in his ear, "Isaac, tell me--you’re still circumcised?"短的英语笑话故事2They Didnt Have Nikes In Those DaysA young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him, "Ill make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study the bible a little, and get your hair cut, then well talk about it."A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if he could use the car. His father said, "Son, Im really proud of you. You brought your grades up, studied the bible well, but you didnt get your hair cut!"The young man waited a moment and then replied, "You know dad, Ive been thinking about that. Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair."His father replied, "Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went."短的英语笑话故事3Polly Want a WHAT?This lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.""What do they say?" the priest asked."They only know how to say, Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?""Thats terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "But I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two talking female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots who I have taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship.""Thank you," said the lady.The next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priests house. The priests two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage.The lady puts her female talking parrots in with the male talking parrots and the female parrots say, "Hi, we are prostitutes! Do you want to have some fun?"One male parrot looks over to the other male parrot and screams, "Frank! Put the Bibles away--our prayers have been answered!"短的英语笑话故事4Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to Chinafromher visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directlyfromAmerica."短的英语笑话故事5Midway TacticsThree competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".短的'英语笑话故事6Five Months OlderThe Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s p apers, he was surprised."How old are you?" he said."Eighteen, sir," said John."But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?""Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."短的英语笑话故事7West PointMy father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point."短的英语笑话故事8Be Careful What You Wish ForA couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.Next, it was the husband‘s turn. He paused for a moment, then sa id shyly, "Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.短的英语笑话故事9Napoleon Was IllJack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year."He‘s a good boy," said Jack‘s father, "and if you let him pass this time, I‘m sure he‘ll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.""No, n o, that‘s quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn‘t know!""Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack‘s father. "You see, I‘m afraid we don‘t take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."短的英语笑话故事10He Was Only Wrong by TwoJack Hawkins was the football coach at an Amercian college, and he was always trying to find good players, but they weren‘t always smart enought to be acce pted by the college.One day the coach brought an excellent young player to the dean of the college and asked that the student be allowed to enter without an examination. "Well," the dean said after some persuasion, "I‘d better ask him a few questions first."Then he turned to the student and asked him some very easy questions, but the student didn‘t know any of the answers.At last the dean said, "Well, what‘s five times seven?"The student thought for a long time and then answered, "Thirty-six."The dean threw up his hands and looked at the coach in despair, but the coach said earnestly, "Oh, please let him in, sir! He was only wrong by two."。
经典英语笑话8篇
经典英语笑话8篇下面是店铺整理的一些经典英语笑话，希望对大家有帮助。
经典英语笑话：A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets it down. While he is looking around the bar, a monkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey.The man asks the barman who owns the monkey. The barman replies the piano player. The man walks over to the piano player and says "Do you know your monkey stole my beer." The pianist replies "No, but if you hum it, I'll play it."一男子去酒吧，点了一杯啤酒。
他喝了一口放下。
当他环视酒吧时，发现一只猴子荡下来，在他阻止之前，偷走了啤酒。
该男子问酒吧招待，这只猴子是谁的。
服务员回答说是钢琴手的。
男子走到钢琴手面前问：“你知道你的猴子偷了我的啤酒吗?”钢琴手回答说：“没有，但是如果你能哼唱，我会为你演奏的。
”经典英语笑话：Traveling salesmen make their living visiting as many customers as possible. So speeding to get from one appointment to the next is not unheard-of. Which is how I got pulled over by a highway patrolman. "Don't you ever look at the speedometer?" the officer scolded. Before I knew it, the truth spilled from my mouth. "As fast as I was going," I admitted, "I was afraid to take my eyes off the road."因为旅行推销员为了谋生需要拜访尽量多的客户，所以超速飞车赶场对于他们来说也不是没有过的事情。
简短的英语笑话带翻译
简短的英语笑话带翻译篇一：短篇英语笑话10则带翻译短篇英语笑话10则带翻译① Goldfish金鱼Stan: I won 92 goldfish. Fred: Where are you going to keep them? Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath? Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛）them! =================================================================== 斯丹：我赢了92 条金鱼。
弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！② The Revenge 欺骗的代价欺骗的代价Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone a er you." Johnson: "But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!" =================================================================== 老农约翰逊就要死了。
他的家人都站在床边。
关于英文笑话故事5篇_英语的笑话故事简短
关于英文笑话故事5篇_英语的笑话故事简短关于英文笑话故事5篇关于英文笑话故事篇一alieMom:"Whichbananadoyouwant,Victor"Victor:"Iwantthatoneofthegr eatet."Mom:"Victor,youhouldbepolite,tohavethatlittleone."Victor: "Mom,Imutlietobepolite"妈妈：“你要哪一只香蕉，维克多”维克多：“我要那只最大的。
”妈妈：“维克多，你应该懂礼貌，要那只小的。
”维克多：“妈妈，难道懂礼貌就必须说谎吗”关于英文笑话故事篇二TwoBird两只鸟Teacher:Herearetwobird,oneiawallow,theotheriparrow.Nowwhocantell uwhichiwhichStudent:IcannotpointoutbutIknowtheanwer.Teacher:Plea etellu.Student:Thewallowibeidetheparrowandtheparrowibeidethewall ow.老师：这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。
谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
关于英文笑话故事篇三WhoItheLaziet谁最懒Father:Well,Tom,Iakedtoyourteachertoday,andnowIwanttoakyouaqueti on.WhoithelazietperoninyourclaTom:Idon"tknow,father.Father:Oh,ye,youdo!Think!Whenotherboyandgirlaredoingandwriting,whoitinthecla andonlywatchehowotherpeopleworkTom:Ourteacher,father.父亲：哎，汤姆，今天我跟你们老师谈过，现在我想问你个问题。
有趣的英文笑话
有趣的英文笑话忙碌的生活中，适时阅读一些有趣的英文笑话，能够很好地放松我们生活的压力，下面店铺为大家带来有趣的英文笑话，希望大家喜欢!有趣的英文笑话1：A young man came home from work and found his bride upset. "I feel terrible, " she said. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers.”一位年轻的丈夫下班回到家里，发现新娘心烦意乱。
“我心里太难受了，她说，我在给你熨西装时把裤子的臀部烧了个大洞。
”"Forget It,n"said her husband. "Remember that l've got an extra pair of pants for that suit.“没事儿，”丈夫安慰她说，你忘了我这套衣服有两条裤子。
"Yes,”said t he woman.cheering up. "And it's luckY you have.I used another pants to patch the hole."”是的，“妻子高兴地说，幸亏你还有一条，我后来就用它来补了这个洞了。
有趣的英文笑话2：On our way to a wedding in Vermont, my husband and I realized we had forgotten our camera. We stopped at a general store and, hoping to purchase a cheap,disposable model. Sal asked the owner, ¨Do you have any of those throwaway cameras?在前往威蒙特参加一个婚礼的路上，我和丈夫意识到我们忘了带照相机。
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经典英语笑话故事大全
Four Catholic ladies were having coffee.
The first Catholic woman tells her friends "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him "Father."
The second Catholic woman chirps, "My son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people call him, "Your Grace."
The third Catholic mother says, "My son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, "Your Eminence."
Since the fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence, the first three women give her this subtle, "Well?"
So she replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6' 2", hard-bodied dancer. When he walks into a room, people say, "Oh my God!"
A drunken man staggered into a Catholic church, sat down in the Confessional and said nothing. The priest is waiting and waiting and waiting.
The priest coughs to attract the drunk man's attention, but still the man says nothing.
The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak.
Finally the drunk replies, "No use knockin,' pal. There's no paper."
As the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was sinking fast. He called out, "Anyone here know how to pray?"
One man stepped forward. "Aye, Captain, I know how to pray."
"Good," said the captain, "you pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets - we're one short."
A man went to see his Rabbi and said, "Rabbi, if I give up drinking, partying all night, chasing the opposite sex and start coming to Synagogue regularly instead, will I live longer?"
"No," the Rabbi replied, "It will just feel longer."
In the convent a young nun went to see the mother superior. "Mother, I want to quit the veil."
"But why, my child?"
"To become a prostitute."
"What? What are you saying?"
"I said I want to become a prostitute, mother."
"Oh, you had me worried. I thought you said protestant!"
感谢您的阅读，祝您生活愉快。