保全大局舍手表--双语幽默笑话
英语爆笑小笑话带翻译超搞笑
英语爆笑小笑话带翻译超搞笑英语爆笑小笑话：Goethe's ToleranceGoethe was once strolling on a narrow path in a park in Weimar. As luck would have it, he met with a critic who was hostile to him. Both of them stopped, staring at each other. Then the critic said, I'll never make way for a fool. But I will, with that Goethe retreated aside.一次，歌德正在魏玛一个公园的一条狭窄小道上散步，碰巧他遇见一个对他怀有敌意的评论家。
两人都停了下来，彼此相互对视。
接着评论家说道：我从来不给傻瓜让路。
可我给，说完歌德退到了一边。
英语爆笑小笑话：Good SightLawyer: You say you were about thirty-five feet away from the scene of the accident? Just how far can you see clearly?Witness: Well, when I wake up in the morning I see the sun, and they tell me it's about ninety-three million miles away.律师：你说你离事故现场约有35英尺，你能看清多远的东西?证人：这么说吧，早上起床后我看见太阳，别人告诉我这大约有9300万英里远。
英语爆笑小笑话：拿破仑病了Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year."He's a good boy," said Jack's father, "and if you let him pass this time, I'm sure he'll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.""No, no, that's quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn't know!""Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack's father. "You see, I'm afraid we don't take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."杰克到一所大学去学历史。
最搞笑的英文小笑话大全爆笑英文笑话大全爆笑
最搞笑的英文小笑话大全爆笑英文笑话大全爆笑最搞笑的英文小笑话大全爆笑最搞笑的英文小笑话大全爆笑最搞笑的爆笑英文小笑话：一直装到免费为止Deciding to do some back-yard landscaping, my father-in-law went to the brickyard to buyquantity of brick. When he asked the salesclerk about the cost, the man replied. “The moreyou buy, the cheaper they are.“ "Is tha t so" said my father-in-law." Then just keep loading them on my truck until they"refree. 我岳父打算买些砖来修整一下后院。
他到砖厂拉砖，当问到砖价时，售货员回答说：“买得越多，价格越低。
” “真的吗”我岳父说，“那么往我的卡车上猛装吧，一直装到免费为止。
” 最搞笑的爆笑英文小笑话：世界上最好的售货员Harry saw an ad in a window. It said: "Wanted. The Best Sales- man in the World. Top Pay." " I" m a great salesman." Harry told himself." I can sell anything. I"ll go in and ask for thatjob." He went into the building and spoke to the manager. "I"m the best salesman in the world," he said. "Give me the job. " "You must prove you"re the best," the manager said. "I"ll pass every test you give me." Harry told him. "Good." The manager took a box of candy out of his desk . "Last week, I bought a thousand boxes of this candy. If you can sell them all before theend of the week, you can have the job. "That"s easy," Harry said. He took the box of candy and left the office. Every day and all day, he went from shop to shop, trying to sell boxes of the candy .He couldn"t sell one. The candy was so bad he couldn"t even give it away. At the end of the week he went back to the manager. "I"m sorry, sir, " he said," I was wrong about myself . I"m not the best salesman in theworld, but I know who is. "Oh," said the manager. "Who" "The person who sold you a thousand boxes of this candy, " Harry said. 哈里在橱窗上看到一则广告。
最爆笑的双语英语笑话
最爆笑的双语英语笑话Much worse那就更糟了didn't you shout for help when you were robbed Of your watch?警察：有人抢你的手表时，你为什么不呼救呢?Man: lf I had opened my mouth,they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.男子：要是我张口的话，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。
那就更糟了。
Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first robber said, ¨I hear sirens. Jump!"两个盗贼在一家旅馆偷东西o第一个说：¨我听到警报响了，快跳吧!”The second one said, ¨But we're on the 13th floor!”第二个说：¨但是我们在13层啊!"The first one scre amed back, ¨This is no time to be superstrtiousl!第一个朝他大喊道：¨都什么时候了，还这么迷信!¨A kid asked his dad,"Hey,Pop,can you write in the dark?”有个孩子问他爸爸：嘿，爸，你能在黑暗中写字吗?The dad answered,"Sure. What do you want me to write?”爸爸回答：当然。
你要我写什么?The boy said, "Your name on this report card,"男孩说：在这个成绩单上写你的名字。
”A tricky girl said, "Mom,I got a one hundred in school today!一个狡猾的女孩说："妈妈，我今天在学校得了一个100分!"The mom replied, "Great,SW8etie,tell me about it."妈妈回答说："太好了，小可爱。
英语笑话加翻译
英语笑话加翻译笑话是现代社会发展最快的一种口头文学体裁,它体现了某一民族行为中最深刻的和潜意识中的观点。
下面是店铺带来的英语幽默笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!英语幽默笑话带翻译篇一个人理财(双语阅读)A silvedess mon goes fast ihrough the market.身上无钱，市场疾行There once was a rich man who was near deeth. He wru very grieved because he had worked so hard for his numey. So he began to pray Lhat he rmght he ahle to take some of his weakh with him.曾经有一个富人快要死了，他租伤心，因为为了钱他才拼命工作，他想把钱带着一起上天堂，因此他开始祈祷恳求他能随身带一些财产.A:Sorry,but you car't take your wealth with you.对不起.你不能带走财产。
B:Could you speakto Cod to see if he might hend the rules?你跟上帝说说情吧，看能否网开一面?(Then he continue to pray his wealth could follow him,and the angel reappears.)他继续祈祷能带上财产，天使又出现了。
A:The Cod has decided to allow you to take one suitcase with yourself.上帝允许你随身带一个手提箱。
(Overjoyed.the man gaLhers his largest suitcase and fills it,with pure gold bar s and places it beside his hed.Soon afterward the man dies and shows up at the Catea of Heaven to greet St.Peter. Peter sees the suit-case.富人欣喜若狂，拿了他最大的手提箱，里面装满了金条，然后放在床边。
英语幽默笑话集锦及翻译
英语幽默笑话集锦及翻译上世纪90年代,随着苏联解体,社会紧张气氛的缓解,各种笑话集如雨后春笋般冒出,受到俄国草根民众热捧。
下面是店铺带来的英语幽默笑话集锦及翻译，欢迎阅读!英语幽默笑话集锦及翻译精选婚姻就是这么一回事This is marriage all aboutMy wife-to-be and I were at the county clerk's office for our marriage license. After recording the vital information — names, dates of birth, etc. —the clerk handed me our license and deadpanned, "No refunds, no exchanges, no warranties."婚姻就是这么一回事我和未婚妻在县办公室领结婚证。
在记录完重要信息——名字，出生日期，等后——办事员递给我结婚证，脸无表情地说，“不退钱，不包换，不保修。
”英语幽默笑话集锦及翻译阅读承诺的结果 The consequencesFather: I promised to buy you a car if you passed your examination, and you have failed. Whatwere you doing last term?父亲：我曾向你许诺，如果你考试及格就给你买俩小汽车，可你却未能做到。
你上学期一直在干什么呀?Son: I was learning to drive a car.儿子：我在学开汽车。
英语幽默笑话集锦及翻译学习什么都有,你要买什么?A store manager heard a clerk tell a customer. No, ma'am, we haven't had any for a while, and itdoesn't look as if we'll be getting soon.一个商店经理听见一个店员对顾客说：不，夫人，这会儿没有，一时半会儿看来也不会有。
短一些的英语笑话带翻译精选
短一些的英语笑话带翻译精选短一些的英语笑话带翻译精选笑话是口头或者书面的幽默语言。
笑话可以使人轻松愉悦，忘记忧愁困扰。
店铺分享短一些的英语笑话带翻译，希望可以帮助大家! 短一些的英语笑话带翻译：偷得太贵了,我买不起A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from a jewelry store. "Listen,"said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy thewatch, and we forget about this?"一个小偷在一家珠宝店企图偷走一只手表的时候被当场擒获。
“听着，”小偷说，“我知道你们也不想惹麻烦。
我把这只表买下，然后我们就当什么也没发生，你看怎样?”The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, "This isa little more than I intended to spend. Can you show me something less expensive?"经理表示同意，然后列了一张售货单。
小偷看着单子说道：“这比我最初的预算稍稍高了一点。
你们还有没有便宜一点儿东西。
"短一些的英语笑话带翻译：快餐店里的爱情与假牙A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that theyhad ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully dividedthe hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had halfof them. Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of hiswife. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap.一个年轻人在麦当劳里看见一对年迈的夫妇在吃午餐。
英汉双语笑话大全99
英语笑话（一）Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。
但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。
这个答案很有意思吧？Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?A: By treading on his corn?如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。
Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。
Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。
你说呢？Q: What do people do in a clock factory?A: They make faces all day.一看到make faces这个短语，你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀！因为除了这个意思以外，它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。
Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?A: Keep him awake.怎样才能不让梦游者（sleepwalker）梦游（walk in his sleep）呢？最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉。
虽然这不是治疗方法，但如果让梦游者醒着呢，他的确就不会去梦游了。
英语笑话（二）He is really somebody-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.-- He is really somebody. What does he do?-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.他真是一个大人物-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
英语小笑话,英语笑话大全（带翻译）
英语小笑话,英语笑话大全（带翻译）下面是编辑整理的英语小笑话，希望能让您捧腹大笑!英语小笑话【一】1、The Fish NetCan you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.翻译：鱼网你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安? 老师发问道。
把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。
小女孩回答道。
2、律师和胳膊、宝马A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW."Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer", he whined."You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off"翻译：一个律师打开他的宝马车门，突然一辆汽车驶过来把门撞飞了，警察赶到现场，律师正痛苦地抱怨毁坏了他心爱的宝马。
“警察同志，看看他们把我的车弄的”律师哀怨地说。