A Bad Impression一个坏印象(双语笑话)
那些年因为英语不好闹过的笑话
那些年因为英语不好闹过的笑话那些因为英语不好闹过的笑话店铺我们会遇到很多障碍，什么水土不服，饮食不习惯，文化不适应等等，但是相比于这些来说，最大的障碍就是语言不通!我相信大部分小伙伴掌握的都是一紧张就全忘的哑巴英语，虽然每次考试成绩都高高在上，但碰到老外的时候依然会赶紧跑开或者是只能say声hi。
1、打电话叫taxi，对方问：where you from?我回答：china，心里还在想，叫个出租车还要问国籍吗?然后对方以为我在开玩笑，很郁闷的说sorry，we can’t do that。
我一听，火大了，咋地，还有种族歧视啊，就问：Why?对方愣了半天，挂了……后来我才明白人家是想问我去哪来接……2、同样的打车，司机问：where are you going?她想都没想就说：China。
然后对方说：well，you are going to China by…bus?3、一朋友去麦当劳点餐，付账的时候听不懂店员在说什么，只好一个劲的说yes, yes, yes。
Yes了半天后，后面的人终于忍不住了，鄙视的来了一句，人家问你薯条要那种size，你yes个毛啊!尴尬中……4、事情是这样的：CSR：&%^$&%#*^%￥……我：……Pardon?CSR：&%^$&%#*^%￥……我：……Pardon?CSR：&%^$&%#*^%￥……我：……I’m really sorry but I cannot understand you. Pardon?CSR：DID–YOU–HAVE–A–GOOD–DAY–TODAY?我：……5、加拿大人都很有礼貌这我们应该都知道了，把sorry挂在嘴边想必大家也有所听说了，所以一定要熟练掌握sorry的回答，我有一次在路上被人撞了一下，人家说sorry，我张口来了句you are welcome……6、同样是买东西，买完后付钱，casher说：@#￥[email protected]%……一朋友：yes。
英语笑话精选 Dirty Jokes 1-5
The newlyweds are in their honeymoon room and the groom decides to let the bride know where she stands right from the start of the marriage.
He proceeds to take off his trousers and throw them at her. He says, "Put those on."
Dirty Jokes 1 (2013.3.29)
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day. The elderly man came back the next day and the specimen cup was empty and the lid was on it. Doctor: What was the problem? Elderly man: Well, you I tried with my right hand...nothing. So, I tried with my left hand...nothing. My wife tried with her right hand...nothing. Her left hand...nothing. Her mouth...nothing. Then my wife's friend tried. Right hand, left hand, mouth....still nothing. Doctor: Wait a minute. You mean your wife's friend too?! Elderly man: Yeah, and we still couldn't get the lid off of the specimen cup.
经典英语笑话笑话大全带翻译笑破你的肚子痛
经典英语笑话笑话大全带翻译笑破你的肚子痛四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."更多英语笑话尽在应届毕业生笑话网。
是我把他晾干Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking by the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act he immediately reviewed her file and called her into his office."Mary, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses. The bad news is Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom，he's dead."Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself, I hung him up to dry."Jim和Mary都是精神病院里的病人。
关于校园英语小笑话带翻译
关于校园英语小笑话带翻译笑话,是供人们消遣或交际的一种创造性的语言形式,其主要功能是调侃、娱乐或讽刺。
小编精心收集了关于校园英语小笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!关于校园英语小笑话带翻译篇1While on vacation in San Francisco, my sister developed a toothache. The hotel desk clerk recommended a dentist. Susan, who dislikes heights, was horrified to discover that she was located on the 14th floor of a skyscraper, with two of the office walls made entirely of glass.在旧金山度假时，我姐姐牙病犯了。
这个酒店前台推荐了一个牙医。
苏珊有恐高症，发现自己在两边都是玻璃墙14层大楼时，吓坏了。
Susan was sitting rigidly in the examination chair, clutching its sides, when the dentist came in. “Are you always this nervous?” he asked.苏珊很和僵硬的坐在检查座位上，紧紧握住椅子的两旁，当医生进来时，看到这种情况就问，你一直这么紧张吗?It’s just that I ‘m not used to being up this high,” Susan replied, eyes closed.苏珊闭着眼睛回答：只是我不习惯待在这么高的地方“Oh, I’m sorry,” he said. Then he lowered her chair six inches.“不好意思啊，”他说。
然后就把椅子调低了6英尺。
关于校园英语小笑话带翻译篇2I complimented one of my co-workers on having lost ten pounds. However, I couldn’t resistbragging that when I was 17, 1 weighed 225 pounds and today I tip the scales at 224. 1 added, “That’s not bad for a man of my age.”我称赞我的一个同事减肥10磅。
妙语短篇A1词组总结
《妙语短篇》词组第一篇1.去上学go to school2.其中一个女孩one of the girls3.乘坐的士by taxi4.到校迟到got to school late5.不得不have to6.考试take /have a test7.生气的be angry8.一个好的借口 a good excuse9.考虑了片刻think for several moments10.漏气轮胎 a flat tire11.到达arrive at/in (小地点/大地点)12.错过考试miss the test13.在…的角落里in the corner of14.写在纸上write on a piece of paper15.问题的答案the answer to the question第二篇1. 有时、不时from time to time2. 地上的洞the hole in the ground/road3. 开进洞里drive into the hole4.（某人）花费时间/`钱做（某事）spend (time/money) doing sth.5. 拉出、拖出pull…out6. 为某事收（某人）钱charge sb. for sth.(doing sth.)7. 挣钱make money8. 日日夜夜day and night9. 用……填……fill…with…10.深/浅的洞 a deep/shallow hole第三篇1. 快速的反应quick thinking2. 在街上in the street3. 碰到朋友meet a friend/friends4. 沿着街走walk along the street5. 谈论（某事）talk about sth.6. 喜欢做（某事）like doing/ to do sth.7. 借给（某人）（某物）lend sb. sth./ lend sth to sb.8. 找（某人）借（入）borrow sb. sth./borrow sth from sb.9. 考虑、思考think about10. 还钱pay money back11. 再等一天wait another day12. 拿出、取出take out13. 扔在地上throw(sth.) on to the ground14. 把（某物）给（某人）give sb. sth./ give sth. to sb.15. 欠（某人）钱owe sb. money16. 归还（某物）give sth. back第四篇1. 看医生visit/ see a doctor2. 不舒服not feel well/feel bad/feel terrible3. 找出、查出find out4. 给（某人）做检查examine sb.5. 脱下/ 穿上take off/ put on6. 躺在床上lie on the bed7. 听心脏listen to the heart8. 看喉咙look into the throat9. 和…..一样as… as…10. 返回、回来come back11. 走出医院walk out of the hospital12. 几秒钟之后 a few seconds later13. 转过来turn around14. 为了……；以便于……so that15. 伤风have a cold16. 头疼have a headache17. 咳嗽have a cough18. 发烧have a fever19. 喉咙痛have a sore throat第五篇1. 进餐馆go into the restaurant2. 在桌子旁坐下sit down at the table3. 走向；走进（某人）go/come up to sb.4. 仔细看（读）read carefully5. 点最贵的菜order the most expensive dishes6. 上，供应（饭菜）serve the meal7. 跑向（某人）run towards sb.8. 为……付款pay for9. 与(某人)无关have nothing to do with sb.10. 拿下take down11. 抬头看；查询look up12. 尊重look up to13. 轻视look down on13. 躺下lie down14. 分手break up15. 放弃give up第六篇1.大嗓门 a loud voice2.坏脾气 a bad temper3.足够大big enough4.站直stand up straight5.足够的空间enough room6.事实上in fact7.如此.....以至于...... so...that...8.大多数时间most of the time9.在剧院at the theater10.把（某物）寄给/送给..... send sth. To....11.走出剧院walk out of the theater 第七篇1.按门铃ring the bell2.房屋的窗户 a window of the house3.挂号的包裹 a registered package4.退信地址the return address5.在包裹背面on the back of the package6.对......感兴趣be interested (in sth.)7.对（某人）生气become(be) angry with sb.8.下来come down9.取包裹take the package10.隔壁next door11.相当快乐quite happy12.相当快乐的人quite a happy person13.相当多的钱quite a lot of money14.相当大的包裹quite a big package15.变得相当生气become quite angry with16.。
让人笑道喷血的英语笑话
让人笑道喷血的英语笑话●Our son, at age of five, had a fascination for motorcycles. The sight of one would always bring forth squeals(长声尖叫) of delight, aompanied by excited remarks of Look at that! Look at that! I'm going to have one of those someday, his dad's response always was Not as long as I'm alive.One day, while our son was talking to a little friend, a motorcycle passed by. He excitedly pointed it out to the boy and exclaimed, Look at that! Look at that! I'm getting one of those as soon as my dad dies.我五岁的儿子对摩托车有强烈的爱好。
只要看见一辆摩托车，他就会快乐得哇哇直叫，并冲动地说：瞧这辆!瞧这辆，我总有一天也要有一辆。
他爸爸的答复老是只要我活着，你就别想有这玩艺儿。
一天我们的儿子跟他的小朋友在说话，有一辆摩托车开了过去。
他兴奋的指着摩托车叫道瞧这辆!瞧这辆!等我爸一死我就要有这样一辆摩托车了。
Q: Why was six scared of seven?A: Because seven "ate" nine.问题：为什么六怕七呢?答复：因为七连九都能吃掉呢!本应该是seven eight nine, 但是利用了发音相同，将eight 用ate(吃)替换掉了，你看懂了么?A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."一名老师让学生们利用单词“beans(豆子)”造句，其中一个女孩说“我爸爸种豆子”。
初中英语小笑话带翻译阅读
初中英语小笑话带翻译阅读a doctor came into the hospital ward and said to mr. johnson, "i have some good news and some bad news for you."一位医生走进医院的病房，告诉强森先生：“我有一个好消息和一个坏消息要告诉你。
”then mr. johnson said, "please, give me the good news first."强森先生说：“请先告诉我好消息吧!”so the doctor said, "the doctors here are going to name an incurable disease after you."医生说：“本院的医师决定用你的名字，来为一种不治之症命名。
”when a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. the conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged用肘轻推 him and said:"wake up, sir!"当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。
售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了，他担心这个人会坐过站，就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他，说：“先生，醒醒!”"i wasn't asleep," the man answered.“我没有睡着。
”那个男人回答。
"not asleep? but you had your eyes closed."“没睡着?可是你眼睛都闭上了呀?”"i know. i just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."“我知道，我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。
印象错误的英文作文
印象错误的英文作文英文：I have a wrong impression about a person once. It happened when I was in college. There was a girl in myclass who always looked very serious and never smiled. I thought she was unfriendly and didn't want to be friendswith her.One day, we were assigned to work on a project together. To my surprise, she was actually very friendly and easy to work with. She had a great sense of humor and we ended up having a lot of fun while working on the project. Irealized that my initial impression of her was completely wrong.From that experience, I learned that it's important not to judge people based on their appearance or behavior. Sometimes, people may seem distant or unapproachable, but they could be very different once you get to know them.中文：我曾经对一个人有错误的印象。
这件事发生在我大学时期。
班上有一个女孩总是看起来很严肃，从来不笑。
我以为她不友好，不想和她交朋友。
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Six people were travelling in a compartment on a train. Five of them were quiet and well behaved，but the sixth was a rude young man who was causing a lot of trouble to the other passengers.
有六个人措乘火车旅行，坐在同一车箱内。
其中五个很安静，也很规矩。
但第六个是个粗鲁的年轻人，给其他乘客招惹了许多麻烦。
At last this young man got out at a station with his two heavy bags. None of the other passengers helped him，but one of them waited until the rude young man was very far away and then opened the window and shouted to him，"You left something behind in the c ompartment”Then he closed the window again.
最后，这位年轻人在一个车站带着两个沉重的皮箱下了车。
没有一个旅客帮他的忙。
有个人一直等到这位粗兽的年轻人走得很远了，才打开窗户，对着他大声喊:“你把东西留在车厢里了!”然后，又把窗户关了起来。
The young man turned around and hurried back with his two bags. He was very tired when he arrived，but he shouted through the window，"What did I leave behind?”
年轻人转过身子，拎着两个沉甸甸的皮箱，匆匆赶了回来。
他转回来时，显得非常疲倦，对着窗户大声喊:“我把什么东西留在车上了?”
As the train began to move again，the passenger who had called him back opened the window and said，"A very bad impression!”
当火车再次启动时，叫他回来的旅客打开窗户说:“一个极坏的印象!”
更多英语学习方法：企业英语培训/。