爆笑英语笑话 中英文对照
英语短笑话带翻译
英语短笑话带翻译笑话是实际生活中客观存在的，作为文学式样，它的特征是戏谑、讽刺，其功能是启迪、警示。
小编精心收集了英语短笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!英语短笑话带翻译篇1Mother: Mary, why do you yell and scream so much? Play quietly like Eddie. See, he doesn't make a sound.Mary: Of course he doesn't. Mom, it's part of the game we are playing. He is Daddy coming home late, and I'm you.妈妈：玛丽，你为什么这样大喊大叫的? 为什么不能像艾迪那样安安静静的玩儿呢?你看艾迪一声儿都不出。
玛丽：妈妈，艾迪当然不会出声了，因为我们俩正在玩爸爸回家迟到的游戏呢，他扮演爸爸，我扮演你。
英语短笑话带翻译篇2On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.在观看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上，幼儿园老师问学生的观后感。
班上最小的女孩说，她希望舞蹈演员可以长得更高一点儿，那么他们就不用整天踮着脚尖了。
英语短笑话带翻译篇3Half or Five Tenths?Teacher: Would you rather have one half of an orange or five tenths?Gerald: I'd much rather have the half.Teacher: Think carefully, and tell me why.Gerald: Because you lose too much juice when you cut theorange into five tenths.半个还是十分之五老师：你愿意要半个柑橘，还是十分之五个柑橘?杰拉得：我宁可要半个。
英语经典幽默笑话及翻译
英语经典幽默笑话及翻译笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。
在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。
下面店铺为大家带来英语经典幽默笑话及翻译，希望大家喜欢!英语经典幽默笑话1：There was once a large，fat woman who had a small，thin husband. He had a job in a big company and was given his weekly wages every Friday evening. As soon as he got home on Fridays，his wife used to make hirn give her all his money，and then she used to give him back only enough to buy his lunch in the office every day.曾有一位块儿大、膘肥的女人，她的丈夫却是瘦小、干瘪。
丈夫是在一家大公司做事。
每到周五晚上领到工资，也正是周五这位丈夫回家时，老婆就让他把所有钱都交出来，然后再给他一点儿在办公室吃午饭的钱。
One day the small man came home very excited. He hurried into the living-room. His wife was listening to the radio and eating chocolates.”You'll never guess what happened to me today，dear,"he said. He waited for a few seconds and then added:“I won ten thousand pounds on the lottery!”一天，这位小丈夫回到家，兴奋得不得了。
他匆匆忙忙地来到起居室。
超短的英语笑话带翻译笑死
超短的英语笑话带翻译笑死一直以来民间的笑话、笑料题材，比比皆是，可以汇编成专集。
小编精心收集了超短的英语笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!超短的英语笑话带翻译篇1Two boys are talking with each other.两个孩子正在交谈。
"You see, in the old times there were no electricity, no radios, no televisions. How could ourancestors survive?"“你想，古代没有电，没有收音机，也没有电视。
我们的祖先怎么能活着呢?”"So they all died."“所以他们都死了。
”超短的英语笑话带翻译篇2Jenny's papa bought her a pair of new trousers, but it couldn't be worn as it shrank in the wash. Her mother got angry.詹妮的爸爸给她新买了一条裤子，但刚一下水就缩得不能穿了。
她的妈妈非常生气。
But Jenny said. "Mama, I can wear it if you have me a bath."詹妮却说：“妈妈，你给我洗个澡，我就能穿了。
”超短的英语笑话带翻译篇3The neighbor often borrowed my inflator.邻居经常借我家的打气筒。
One day, my four-year-old daughter suddenly told me:"Papa, what shall we do if the air of our inflator is used up?"有一天，4岁的女儿突然告诉我说：“爸爸，我们的打气筒里面的气用完了怎么办?”超短的英语笑话带翻译篇4"Mama, why does the puppy drink the water in the slot?"“妈妈，小狗为什么要喝水沟里的水?”"Because it's thirsty."“因为它渴了。
英语爆笑笑话6则带翻译双语阅读
英语爆笑笑话6则带翻译双语阅读笑话是指以一句短语或一个小故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑，或是产生幽默感，另外一个行动(动作)型的笑话是以动作影响人的视觉及观感，而感到好笑。
下面一起来看一下一些爆笑英语笑话吧。
In music class, the teacher asked Jack: “Please answer me what the oldest musical instrument is.”音乐课上，老师问杰克：“请回答，世界上最古老的乐器是什么?”Jack answered unhesitatingly: “It is the accordion.”杰克坚定地回答：“是手风琴。
”The teacher asked doubtfully: “Why do you say that it is the accordion, my dear boy?”老师疑惑地问：“为什么是手风琴呢，英语笑话我可爱的孩子?”Jack s aid: “Teacher, don’t you see that the accordion is completely covered by wrinkles.”杰克说：“老师，您没看见手风琴上全是皱纹吗?”最好的解释The Best ExplanationOnce in a physics class, Tom’s teacher asked the students: “When it thunders, why do we see the lightning first, then hear the thunders?”一次物理课上，汤姆的老师问同学们：“当打雷的时候，为什么我们先看到闪电，然后才听到雷声呢?”Tom answered the question very quickly, while his classmates were thinking it hard.当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，英语笑话汤姆很快就答了上来。
英语笑话带翻译大全3篇
英语笑话带翻译大全3篇
英国人有他们独特的英式幽默，他们流传的英语笑话让人会心一笑，所以小编今天就给大家带来了英语的笑话，一起来看看吧英语笑话一
The plural Form of "Child"
Teacher: What is the plural of man, Tom?
Tom: Men.
Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?
Tom: Twins.
"孩子"的复数形式
老师：汤姆，‘男人’这个词的复数形式是什么?
汤姆：男人们。
老师：答得好。
那‘孩子’的复数形式呢?
汤姆：双胞胎。
英语笑话二
Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home.
老师：谁能回到我下一个问题，谁就可以回家了。
One boy throws his bag out the window.
一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。
Teacher: who just threw that?!
老师：谁刚刚把书包扔出去了?
Boy: Me! I’m going home now.
男孩：我!我现在要回家了。
英语笑话三
What dog can jump higher than a building?
什么狗比大楼跳的还高?
Anydog, buildings can't jump!
任何一只狗，大楼又跳不起来。
爆笑的英语笑话带翻译精选
爆笑的英语笑话带翻译精选冷笑话作为一种新兴的口头文类,有其鲜明的特色,而现有的定义和分类却把冷笑话作为一种既成文本来加以分析,忽略了其生存语境。
下面是店铺带来的爆笑的英语笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!爆笑的英语笑话带翻译精选(一)我跟她还不熟Not Knowing Her WellWife: Bill, the man in that house opposite always kisses his wife when he leaves in the morning and he kisses her again when he comes back in the evening. Why don't you do that too?妻子：比尔，住在对面那所房子的那个男人早上出门前总要吻一下妻子，晚上回来时再吻一下，你为什么不那样做呢?Husband: Well, I don't know her very well yet.丈夫：哦，我跟她还不是很熟。
(二)袋鼠的能耐 What Kangaroos Can DoThe zoo built a special eight-foot-high enclosure for its newly acquired kangaroo, but the nextmorning the animal was found hopping around outside. The height of the fence was increasedto 15 feet, but the kangaroo got out again. Exasperated, the zoo director had the heightincreased to 30 feet, but the kangaroo still escaped. A giraffe asked the kangaroo, “How highdo you think they’ll build the fence?”动物园为刚引进的袋鼠建了一个特殊的八英尺高的围墙。
史上最搞笑的英语笑话带翻译
史上最搞笑的英语笑话带翻译英语幽默笑话带翻译1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!" 医生懂得多一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多."2:You can't go without meThe bus is very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him. "Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts."It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him."But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says. 没有我你们走不了公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路."喂,让我上车!"那位男士喊道."车太挤了,你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说."但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机!"那位男士说道.3:DrunkOne day, a father and his little son were going home. Atthis age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," hisfather replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.""But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"醉酒一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。
爆笑英文笑话带翻译
爆笑英文笑话带翻译爆笑英文笑话带翻译生活中烦心的琐事总是有的，你会有时不愉快，那你就来看笑话吧，开心一笑，烦心事就会溜走了。
以下是爆笑英文笑话带翻译，欢迎阅览!1.One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。
这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地上，手中抱着一头猪，并把它举得高高的`，好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。
城里人对农夫说，"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的，但是，这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫回答说，"时间对猪有什么意义?"2.a kiss At a dinner party, the speaker, who was the guest of honor, was about to deliver a speech when his wife sitting at the other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the word "KISS" scribbled on it. The guest seated next to the speaker said, "Your wife must love you very much, I see her send you a 'KISS' before you begin your speech." The speaker smiled and explained, "You don't know my wife. The 'KISS' she give me stands for 'Keep It Short, Stupid.'"3.The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have aparty.Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment,he said,"Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow.When the door open,push with your foot.""Why use my elbow and foot?""Well,gosh," was the reply,"You're not coming empty-hangded,are you?吝啬鬼请客一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了.他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼,找中间那个门,然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃.门开了之后,再用你的脚把门推开.”“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢?”“你的双手得拿礼物啊.天哪,你总不会空着手来吧?”吝啬鬼回答.I think that I'm a chickenPsychiatrist:What's your problem?Patient:I think I'm a chicken.Psychiatrist:How long has this been going on?Patient:Ever since I was an egg!精神病医师：你哪里不舒服?病人：我认为我是一只鸡.精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的?病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始.4.Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安? 老师发问道。
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英语笑话【Laughter】Recently,I received a call from a woman who wanted to replace some chair of a dining set bought from us in the 1930s.I assured her we could help and sought the assistance of the office manager.“You’ll never beileve this one,”I told the office manager.“I just got a call from a customer who bought some chair from us in the 1930s.”Before I could finish,he interrupted and said,“Don’t tell me she hasn’t received them yet!”最近，我接到一个妇女的电话。
她上个世纪30年代从我们这里买了一套餐厅家具，现在想来换一些椅子。
我跟她说我们可以帮忙，并向部门经理提了出来。
“你肯定不会相信，”我对部门经理说，“我刚接到一个顾客的电话，她在30年代就从我们这买了一些椅子。
”我还没来得及说完，经理就打断我说：“不要告诉我她到现在还没有收到货啊！”Man:Why did you make women so beautiful?God:So that you will love them.Man:But why did you make them so dumb?God:So that they will lov you.男子：你为什么让女人生得那么美？上帝：这样你才会爱上她们呀！男子：可你为什么又让女人那么笨呢？上帝：这样她们才会爱上你呀！Father:Is the school closed today?Son:No,Dad.It’s poen.I came home early.Father:How did you do that?Son:I told my teacher I had a new baby brother and had to come home and help you.Father:But your mother has had twins.You’ve got a baby brother and a baby sister.Son:Yes,I know,Dad.I’m saving up my baby sister for next week.父亲：今天学校放假了吗？儿子：没有，爸爸。
我提前回来了。
父亲：为什么？儿子：我跟老师说，我有一个小弟弟，我得回家帮你。
父亲：但是你妈妈生了双胞胎，你有一个小弟弟和一个小妹妹。
儿子：是的，我知道，爸爸，我要等下个星期再说我有个小妹妹了。
After waiting over 3 frustrating hours at the airport for the arrival of a plane that had been delayed for take-off, a man approached the boarding desk and asked for an arrival-time update.He was concerned because he was meeting his nephew and this was the boy’s 1st flight.＂How old is the boy?＂the airline representative asked solicitously.＂He was 6 whenhe left for the airport,＂the man replied sharply.因飞机起飞延误，一个人在机场等着接人已3个小时了。
他走近问询处打听飞机到达时间的最新消息。
他非常着急，因为他是来接侄子的，而侄子是第一次乘飞机。
“男孩多大了？”航空公司的人关心的问。
“他出发去机场时6岁。
”他毫不客气地回答。
Dear God:I bet it is very hard to love everyone in the whole world.there are only 4 people in our family and I’m havingf a hard time loving all of them.亲爱的上帝：我猜爱世界上每一个人是很困难的事。
我家只有4个人，可我爱他们都很难。
Three fastest means of communcation:1.Tele-Phone 2.Tele-Vision 3.Tele-a Woman For faster transmission-Tell her not to tell anybody.三种最快的传播方式：1.电话2.电视3.告诉女人如果想要传播更快，告诉她别跟任何人说。
Customer:Everyday you charge me money for a cup of coffee.It will be wonderful if you serve me coffee free of charge today.Waiter:Sir,everyday you drink coffee from a filled cup.Itwill be wonderful if youdrink it from an empty cup today.顾客：你每天都收我咖啡的钱，要是今天不收就太好了。
服务员：先生，你每天都从盛满咖啡的杯子里喝咖啡，要是今天从空杯子里喝就好了。
Attorney:She had 3 children,right?Witness:Yes.Attorney:How many were boys?Witness:None.Attorney:Were there any girls?律师：她有3个孩子，是吗？证人：是的。
律师：几个男孩？证人：没有男孩。
律师：有女孩吗？John:Daddy, are caterpillars good to eat?Father:Have I not told you never to mention such things during meals! Mother:Why did you ask the question,John?John:It’s because I saw one on daddy’s on daddy’s lettuce,but now it’s gone.约翰：爸爸，毛毛虫能吃吗?爸爸：我没告诉过你不能在吃饭时说这些吗？妈妈：你为什么问这个呢，约翰？约翰：因为我看到爸爸的生菜里有一只，不过现在没了。
A man goes to a chemist and asks for a cure hiccps.The chemist makes the man bend over and gives him a hard slap on his back and asks,＂Have they gone?＂The man replied,＂I don’t know,my wife’s in the car but I’ll check.＂一个男人去问药剂师怎么治打嗝。
要及时让他弯下腰，然后狠狠地在他背上拍了一下问：“还打嗝吗？”男人回答：“我不知道，我老婆在车里，我去看看。
”In a hospital waiting room:Smoking help you lose weight…one lung at a time!医院候诊室：吸烟有助于减肥，一次减一个肺。
A lady noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale,sucking in his stomach.Thinking he was trying to weigh less with this maneuver,she commented,＂I don’t think that’s going to help.＂＂Sure it will,＂he said.＂It’s the only way I can see the numbers.＂一个女人看见丈夫使劲收腹站在体重秤上，以为他想称得轻一点，就说：“没用的。
”丈夫说：“当然有用，这样我才能看到秤上的数字。
”A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend .A successful woman is one who can find such a man.成功的男人是赚的钱比老婆花的钱多的人，成功的女人是能找到这样的男人的人。
Customer:I’ve been ringing 07002300 for 2 days and can’t get through to enquiries,can you help?Operator:Where did you get that number form,sir?Customer:It was on the door to the Travel Centre.Operator:Sir,they are our opening hours.顾客：我拨07002300拨了两天都没人接，怎么回事呀？接线员：先生，请问您在哪看到这个号码的？顾客：旅行社门上。
接线员：先生，那是我们的营业时间。
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.结婚是幻想战胜了智慧，二婚是希望战胜了经验。
Tom:How should I convery the news to my father that I have failed my exams again?David:You just send a telegram:Result declared,past year’s performancerepeated.汤姆：我怎么跟我爸爸说考试挂了呢？大卫：发个电报：结果已出，去年成绩在现。
Friend:How many women do you believe a man must marry?Mr.Bean:16.Friend:Why?Mr.Bean:Because the priest say 4 (for)richer,4 poorer,4 better and 4 worse.朋友：你认为男人应该娶几个女人？憨豆先生：16个。