最搞笑的英语小笑话十则
读英文的笑话
读英文的笑话笑话1：Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent!笑话2：Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!笑话3：I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.笑话4：I bought shoes from a drug dealer once. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!笑话5：I asked the librarian if she had any books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you!"笑话6：Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!笑话7：Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!笑话8：I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.笑话9：I saw a wino eating grapes. I told him, "You have to wait!"笑话10：I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually, it came back to me.笑话11：Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!笑话12：What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!笑话13：My friend told me that I should be more optimistic. I said, "Okay, I'm positive!"笑话14：I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.笑话15：Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them!笑话16：Why don't calculators go to the beach? Because they can't handle the waves!笑话17：What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!笑话18：I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.笑话19：I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.笑话20：Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!笑话21：I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.笑话22：What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!笑话23：Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs!笑话24：I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.笑话25：Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!笑话26：What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!笑话27：Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!笑话28：I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.笑话29：What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!笑话30：Why don't calculators go to the beach? Because they can't handle the waves!以上是30个英文笑话的集合，希望你能通过阅读它们，享受一段愉快的时光并大笑一番！笑话的目的是为了带给我们快乐和轻松，让我们忘记生活中的压力和烦恼。
英语小笑话 带翻译
笑话四中，“home”既可以指家，也可以指“归宿”，所以员工中奖后“去家里了”也可以理解为“找到了自己的归宿”。这个笑话利用了“home”这个词的双重含义，变相映射了中奖后员工的行为。
Because it had too many problems.
为什么数o you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
你怎么称呼一个没有牙齿的熊？
果冻熊。
笑话四：What did the employee do after winning the lottery?
笑话五中，“held up”一词既可以指阻碍、延误，也可以指抢劫。所以这个笑话的双关在于通过皮带的“支撑”和“阻碍”之间的联系，制造了一种幽默效果。
总结来说，这几个笑话利用了英语的语言特点，通过双关的方式，让人在听到笑话的瞬间产生一种意想不到的幽默感。这也正是英语笑话的魅力所在，通过语言的巧妙运用，创造出了一种诙谐的氛围，让人忍俊不禁。希望大家在学习英语的同时，多多接触英语笑话，感受英语语言的魅力。
英语小笑话 带翻译
笑话一：Teacher: Did your father help you with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself.
老师：你爸爸有没有帮你做功课？
学生：没有，是他自己全部做的。
笑话二：Why was the math book sad?
笑话一中，学生回答“他自己全部做的”是指他的父亲没有帮助他，但也可以理解为“他”指的是学生的父亲，他自己做了所有的功课。这是一个双关的笑话，利用了英语中的语言特点，呈现了一种幽默的效果。
笑破肚皮的英语笑话
笑破肚皮的英语笑话
1
Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?
Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!
汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗?
妈妈：当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧!
2
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
小男孩问他的父亲：“爸爸，结婚要花多少钱?”
His father replied, "I don't know, son, because I'm
still paying for it now."
他的父亲答复说：“儿子，我不知道，因为我现在还在为它付账呢。
”
3
“闺女，香蕉用英语怎么说? ”“banana!”
“苹果呢?” “iPhone!”
“那大苹果呢?” “iPad!”
4
Student A: When do people talk least?
Student B: In February.
Student A: Why?
Student B: Because February is the shortest month of a year.
学生甲：人们在什么时候说话最少?学生乙：在二月。
学生甲：为什么呢?学生乙：因为二月是一年中最短的一个月。
20个英语笑话爆笑超短【英语翻译笑话】[修改版]
![20个英语笑话爆笑超短【英语翻译笑话】[修改版]](https://img.taocdn.com/s3/m/a8884e71ec3a87c24128c47c.png)
1．we two who and who？咱俩谁跟谁阿2．how are you ? how old are you?怎么是你，怎么老是你？3．you don"t bird me,i don"t bird you你不鸟我，我也不鸟你4．you have seed i will give you some color to see see,pothers ！together up ！你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧，兄弟们，一起上！5．hello everybody!if you have something to say,then say!if you have nothing to say,go home!! 有事起奏，无事退朝6．you me you me彼此彼此7．you give me stop!!你给我站住！8．know is know noknow is noknow知之为知之，不知为不知...9．watch sister表妹10．dragon born dragon,chicken born chicken,mouse" son can make hole!!龙生龙，凤生凤，老鼠的儿子大地洞11．american chinese not enough美中不足12．one car e one car go ,two car pengpeng,people die车祸现场描述13．heart flower angry open心花怒放14．go past no mistake past走过路过，不要错过15．小明：i am sorry!老外：i am sorry too!小明：i am sorry three!老外：what are you sorry for?小明：i am sorry five!16．if you want money,i have no;if you want life,i have one!要钱没有，要命一条17．i call li old big. toyear 25.我叫李老大，今年25。
英语幽默笑话
英语幽默笑话英语幽默笑话（精选15篇） 在繁忙的学习⼯作中，适时读⼀些幽默笑话，放松⾃⼰，劳逸结合⼗分重要。
下⾯是⼩编为你整理的⼏则英语幽默精彩段⼦，让你笑到停不下来 英语幽默笑话篇1 ⼀、我是单⾝汉 Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt.A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms.Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked."Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor." 杰克骑车摔伤,得住院治疗.⼀位年轻美貌的护⼠拿着表格让填.仞杰克填好递上表格"还有什么漏填的?"护⼠问."有!"杰克想了想说,"我是个单⾝汉." ⼆、死于肝癌的⼈100%都吃饭 Wife:You see.According to te statistics on the paper 80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcoho. Husband:It's okey.To my investigation,all Thespeopleeat meals. 妻⼦：你看这张报纸,据统计,死于肝癌的⼈80%都是喝酒的. 丈夫：那有什么?据我调查,死于肝癌的⼈100%都吃饭的. 三、位置上的冰激凌 "Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine." "Yours?Can you prove it?" "Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it." "请原谅,你占了我的位置." "你的位置?你能征明这点吗?" "能,我在位置上放了杯冰激凌." 四、别⽆选择 One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me?" Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice?" ⼀天,夏娃问亚当："你当真爱我吗?" 亚当⽆可奈何地回答："我还有的选择吗?" 五、两个男孩 Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says,"Why are you arguing?" One boy answers,"We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie." "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher,"When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was." The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher. 当⽼师⾛进教室时,两个男孩在争论. ⽼师是说：你们在争论什么? ⼀个男孩回答：‘我们捡到⼀张10块,我们决定把它给⼀个说最⼤的谎的⼈.’ ‘你们应该觉得羞耻’⽼师说,‘当我像你们那么⼤的时候,我连什么是说谎都不知道.’ 两个男孩把钱给了那个⽼师. 六、两只鸟 Teacher:Here are two birds,one is a swallow,the other is sparrow.Now who can tell us which is which? Student:I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher:Please tell us. Student:The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. ⽼师：这⼉有两只鸟,⼀只是⿇雀.谁能指出哪只是燕⼦,哪只是⿇雀吗? 学⽣：我指不出,但我知道答案. ⽼师：请说说看. 学⽣：燕⼦旁边的`就是⿇雀,⿇雀旁边的就是燕⼦. 七、鱼⽹ "Can you tell me what fish net is made,Ann?" "A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl. "你能告诉我鱼⽹是什么做的吗," ⽼师发问道. "把许多⼩孔⽤绳⼦栓在⼀起就成了鱼⽹了." ⼩⼥孩回答道. ⼋、他赢了 Tommy:How is your little brother,Johnny?Johnny:He is ill in bed.He hurt himself. Tommy:That's too bad.How did that happen? Johnny:We played who could lean furthest out of the window,and he won. 汤姆：约翰尼,你⼩弟弟好吗? 约翰尼：他害病卧床了.他受了伤. 汤姆：真糟糕,怎么回事⼉? 约翰尼：我们做游戏,看谁能把⾝⼦探出窗外最远,他赢了. 选我吧 英语幽默笑话篇2 ⼼不在焉的⽼师 An Absent Minded ProfessorA notoriously absentminded professor was one day observed walking along the street withone foot continually in the gutter，the other on the pavement. A pupil meeting him said： “Good evening，professor.How are you? “Well，” answered the professor，“I thought I was all right when I left home，but now I don't know what's the matter with me.I've been limping for the last half hour.” 有⼀天，⼈们看见⼀个有名的⼼不在焉的⽼师在路上⾛，他的⼀只脚⼀直踏在街沟⾥，另⼀只脚踩在⼈⾏道上。
简短的英语笑话带翻译
简短的英语笑话带翻译篇一：短篇英语笑话10则带翻译短篇英语笑话10则带翻译① Goldfish金鱼Stan: I won 92 goldfish. Fred: Where are you going to keep them? Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath? Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛）them! =================================================================== 斯丹：我赢了92 条金鱼。
弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！② The Revenge 欺骗的代价欺骗的代价Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone a er you." Johnson: "But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!" =================================================================== 老农约翰逊就要死了。
他的家人都站在床边。
英语幽默笑话(优秀10篇)
英语幽默笑话（优秀10篇）英国人有他们独特的英式幽默，他们流传的英语冷笑话让人会心一笑，今天，小编给同学们收集、整理了几则特别有趣的英语冷笑话，希望大家能开心开心，一起来看看吧! 篇一一、The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.It#39;s all right, said a gentleman, don#39;t be afraid. Don#39;t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don#39;t bite?Ah, yes, answered the little girl. I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：吠狗不咬人。
;”“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”二、One student to another: How are your English lessons coming along?Fine. I used to be one who couldn#39;t understand the English men, and now it#39;s the English men who can#39;t understand me.一位学生对另一位说：“你的英语最近学的怎么样？”“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。
”三、An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:#39; How much this stuff?#39;#39;Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.#39;The lady said, #39;It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.#39;#39;I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.#39;#39;It is still too much,#39; replie()d the old lady, #39;give it to me for five.#39;一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。
幽默英语小笑话10则
幽默英语小笑话10则1、Sleeping PillsBob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning.""That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday?"安眠药鲍勃晚上失眠。
他去看医生，医生给他开了一些强力安眠药。
星期天晚上鲍勃吃了药，睡得很好，在闹钟响之前就醒了过来。
他到了办公室，遛达进去，对老板说："我今天早上起床一点麻烦都没有。
""好啊!"老板吼道，"那你星期一和星期二到哪儿去了?"2、DrunkOne day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.""But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"醉酒一天，父亲与小儿子一块儿回家。
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最搞笑的英语小笑话十则
篇一：爆笑的经典英语小笑话
英语笑话（一）
老师在黑板上写了一句：Timeismoney.并让同学们翻译。
有名学生答道：“汤姆是玛丽。
”小明上英文课时跟老师说：mayIgotothetoilet? 老师说：goahead.
小明就坐了下来。
过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：mayIgotothetoilet? 老师说：goahead.
小明又坐了下来。
他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊！
英语笑话（二）
某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：Iamhongtaoliu，外宾曰：我Tm 还是方片七呢！英语笑话（三）
江青会见外宾，要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻，不许走样。
外宾一见到江青，立刻拍马屁道："missJiang,youareverybeautiful."翻译照翻，江青心花怒放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：“哪里，哪里”。
翻译不敢怠慢，把江青的话翻成英文："where?where?"外宾一愣，还有这样的人，追问哪里漂亮的，干脆马屁拍到底："everywhere,everywhere."
翻译：“你到处都很漂亮。
”江青更高兴了，但总是要客气一下：“不
见得，不见得”。
翻译赶紧翻成英文："Youarenotallowedtosee,youarenotallowedtosee."
英语笑话（四）
话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。
A神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。
A高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大拇指道：「IAm后羿！」
b神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「IAm丘比特！」
轮到c了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！结果正中仆人的心脏。
就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句：「I...I...I...Am...soRRY...」
英语笑话（五）
某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。
一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，忙说：Iamsorry.老外应道：Iamsorrytoo.
某人听后又道：Iamsorrythree.
老外不解，问：whatareyousorryfor?
某人无奈，道：Iamsorryfive.
英语笑话（六）
一位来自日本的旅客，坐出租车去机场的路上，看到一辆汽车经过，就说：“oh，ToKoTA！madeinJapan!Itisveryfast！”又有一辆经过，他又说：“oh，nIssAn！madeinJapan!Itisveryfast！”司机有点不高兴，觉得他太吵了！当第三辆经过时，他还是说：“oh，honDA！madeinJapan!Itisveryfast！”
后来到了机场，那个日本人就问：“howmuch？”出租车司机说：“1000！”
日本人惊奇的问司机：“为什么那么贵？”出租车司机回答说：“oh，mileometer（计程表）！madeinJapan!Itisveryfast！”
篇二：英语笑话十则
英语笑话十则
1、Awomangetsonabuswithherbaby.Thedriversays:"ugh,that'stheugliestbabyI 'veeverseen." Thewomanwalkstotherearofthebusandsitsdown,fuming.shesaystoamannex ttoher:"Thedriverjustinsultedme." Themansays:"Yougoupthereandtellhimoff.goon,I'llholdyourmonkeyforyo u."
一位女士抱着她的宝宝上公交车，司机看到后说：“额，那是我这辈子见过的最丑的小孩。
”女士走到车厢后面坐下，感到很愤怒。
她对旁边的男士说：“司机刚刚羞辱了我。
”男士回应说：“你快上去斥责他。
去吧，我替你抱着你的猴子。
”
2、beforethefinalexamination,Tomtoldhismother,"mom,Ihadadreamlastnightt hatI'dpassedtoday'sexam."
"Don'ttrustdreams,dear.Itissaidwhatyouexperienceindreamsusuallyturnsou ttobetheopposite."motherreplied.
"ThenIdohopeI'llfailtheothersubjectsinmydreamtonight,"Tomsaid.在期末考试之前，汤姆告诉他的母亲：“妈妈，我昨天晚上做了一个梦，梦见我通过了今天的考试。
”“不要相信梦，亲爱的。
据说梦中的经历通常与现实相反。
”妈妈答道。
“那么，我真希望在今晚的梦中，我的其他功课都不及格。
”汤姆说。
3、onedayavisitorfromthecitycametoasmallruralareatodrivearoundthecountry roads,seehowthefarmslooked,andperhapstoseehowfarmersearnedtheirlivin g.Thecitymansawafarmerinhisyard,holdingapigupinhishands,andliftingits othatthepigcouldeatapplesfromanappletree.Thecitymansaidtothefarmer,"Is eethatyourpiglikesapples,butisn"tthatquiteawasteoftime?"Thefarmerreplie d,"what"stimetoapig?
一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。
这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地上，手中抱着一头猪，并把它举得高高的，好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。
城里人对农夫说，"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的，但是，这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫回答说，"时间对猪有什么意义?"
4、LittleRobertaskedhismotherfortwocents. "whatdidyoudowiththemoneyIgaveyouyesterday?" "Igaveittoapooroldwoman,"heanswered.
"You’reagoodboy,"saidthemotherproudly.
"herearetwocentsmore.butwhyareyousointerestedintheoldwoman?""sheist heonewhosellsthecandy."
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
”昨天给你的钱干什么了？“
”我给了一个可怜的老太婆，“他回答说。
”你真是个好孩子，“妈妈骄傲地说。
“再给你两分钱。
可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。
”
5、Teacher:IfIhadsevenorangesinonehandandeightorangesintheother,whatwo uldIhave?
student:bighands.
老师：如果我左手上有7个桔子，右手上有8个桔子。
那么我有什么？学生：大手。
6、onedayinclass,theteacherassignedhisstudentstowriteacomposition–ifIAmamanager.
Allthestudentsbegantowriteexceptaboy.Theteacherwenttohimandaskedthe reason.
“Iamwaitingformysecretary,”wastheboy’sanswer.
一天课上，老师要同学们以“如果我是一个经理”为题写一篇作文。
所有的学生都在动笔写了，只有一个男生例外。
老师走过去问他为什么不写。