关于英语小笑话简单爆笑
英语幽默爆笑笑话7篇
英语幽默爆笑笑话7篇下面是店铺整理的英语幽默爆笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语幽默爆笑笑话：Class and AssProfessor Laurie of Glasgow put this notice on his door：Professor Laurie will not meet his classes today.A student，after reading the notice，rubbed out thec.Later Professor Laurie came along，and entering into the spirit of the joke，rubbed out thel.班和笨驴格拉斯哥的劳里教授在门上贴了这样一个通知：劳里教授今天不会他的班。
一个学生读了通知后，擦掉了字母c。
后来劳里教授来了，也想开开玩笑，他擦掉了字母。
英语幽默爆笑笑话：A store manager heard a clerk tell a customer.No，ma’am，we haven't had any for a while， and it doesn't look asif we'll be getting soon. Horrified，the manager came runningover to the customer and said，Of course，we'll have somesoon，We placed an order last week. Then the manager drewthe clerk aside：Never， never， never say we are out of anythingsay we've got it on order and it's coming. Now whatwas it she wanted?Rain. said the clerk.一个商店经理听见一个店员对顾客说：不，夫人，这会儿没有，一时半会儿看来也不会有。
英语爆笑笑话12篇
英语爆笑笑话12篇推荐文章爆笑英语笑话加翻译合集热度：有关爆笑英语小笑话带翻译热度：爆笑小学生英文小笑话大全孩子喜欢的热度：英文经典有趣爆笑的小笑话热度：关于英语的儿童爆笑笑话热度：英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑，或是产生幽默感，笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言。
下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语爆笑笑话篇一：她要买什么A store manager heard a clerk tell a customer. No, ma’am, we haven't had any for a while, and it doesn't look as if we'll be getting soon.Horrified, the manager came runningover to the customer and said, Of course, we'll have somesoon, We placed an order last week. Then the manager drew the clerk aside: Never, never, never say we are out of anything say we've got it on order and it's coming.Now what was it she wanted? Rain, said the clerk.一个商店经理听见一个店员对顾客说：不，夫人，这会儿没有，一时半会儿看来也不会有。
经理惊恐万分地跑到顾客跟前说：当然，马上就会有的。
我们上周订了货。
然后经理把店员拉到一边：千万，千万，千万不要说我们没有什么，说我们已经订了货，货马上就到。
现在你说她要买什么? 雨，店员说。
英语爆笑笑话篇二：现在几点了The two boys were camping in the backyard. When they couldn't figure out what time it was, the first boy said to the second, "Start singing very loud.""How will that help?" said the second boy."Just do it," insisted the first.Both boys broke into song, singing at the top of their lungs. Moments later, a neighbor threw open her window and shouted,"Keep it down! Don't you know it's three o'clock in the morning?"两个男孩子在后院露营，他们不知道到了晚上几点钟。
英语笑话大全笑你的肚子
英语笑话大全笑你的肚子英语笑话大全笑你的肚子笑话来源于生活，却又可以让我们的生多些欢乐、开心，现在，一起来开心爆笑下。
英语笑话大全笑你的肚子【1】1、Would you like to be the sun in my life?A: Would you like to be the sun in my life?你想成为我生命中的太阳吗?B: Aww, Yes!哇哦!当然想。
A: Very well, then. Stay XX miles away from me.很好，那么赶紧到距离我XX里远的地方吧。
2、How much do you love me?A: How much do you love me?你有多么喜欢我?B: As many as the stars in the sky.和天上的星星一样多。
A: Good! ... Wait! It’s daytime now...太好了...等等，现在是白天啊!B: T here’s no stars in the sky in the daytime.没错，白天的天空上没有星星。
英语笑话大全笑你的肚子【2】1 Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday? I gave it to a poor old woman, he answered. You’re a good boy, said the mother proudly. Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman? She is the one who sells the candy.好孩子小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
【英语小笑话带翻译】 20个英语笑话爆笑超短
【英语小笑话带翻译】20个英语笑话爆笑超短笑话一般比较短小,喜剧性很强,普遍存在于人们的日常生活中。
笑话的娱乐作用可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康。
小编精心收集了英语小笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!英语小笑话带翻译篇1Ivancamehomewithabloodynose伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。
andhismotherasked,"Whathappened?"他妈妈问，“发生了什么事?”"Akidbitme,"repliedIvan.“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
"Wouldyourecognizehimifyousawhimagain?"askedhismother.“再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问。
"I'dknowhimanywhere,"saidIvan.“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。
"Ihavehisearinmypocket."“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。
”英语小笑话带翻译篇2Theschoolgirlwassittingwithherfeetstrechedfaroutintothe aisle,个女学生坐在座位上，脚却伸到课桌间的走道里andwasbusilychewinggum,嘴里起劲地嚼着口香糖，whentheteacherespiedher.被老师发现了"Mary!"calledtheteachersharply.“玛丽!”老师严厉地叫她。
"Yes,Madam?"questionedthepupil,“什么事，老师?”这女学生问。
"Takethatgumoutofyourmouthandputyourfeetin!"“把口香糖从嘴里拿出来，把脚放进去。
”英语小笑话带翻译篇3Amanwalksintoabarandordersabeer.一男子去酒吧，点了一杯啤酒。
20个英语笑话爆笑超短【英语翻译笑话】[修改版]
![20个英语笑话爆笑超短【英语翻译笑话】[修改版]](https://img.taocdn.com/s3/m/a8884e71ec3a87c24128c47c.png)
1．we two who and who？咱俩谁跟谁阿2．how are you ? how old are you?怎么是你，怎么老是你？3．you don"t bird me,i don"t bird you你不鸟我，我也不鸟你4．you have seed i will give you some color to see see,pothers ！together up ！你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧，兄弟们，一起上！5．hello everybody!if you have something to say,then say!if you have nothing to say,go home!! 有事起奏，无事退朝6．you me you me彼此彼此7．you give me stop!!你给我站住！8．know is know noknow is noknow知之为知之，不知为不知...9．watch sister表妹10．dragon born dragon,chicken born chicken,mouse" son can make hole!!龙生龙，凤生凤，老鼠的儿子大地洞11．american chinese not enough美中不足12．one car e one car go ,two car pengpeng,people die车祸现场描述13．heart flower angry open心花怒放14．go past no mistake past走过路过，不要错过15．小明：i am sorry!老外：i am sorry too!小明：i am sorry three!老外：what are you sorry for?小明：i am sorry five!16．if you want money,i have no;if you want life,i have one!要钱没有，要命一条17．i call li old big. toyear 25.我叫李老大，今年25。
英语爆笑小笑话12篇
英语爆笑小笑话12篇下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑小笑话，希望大家会喜欢!英语爆笑小笑话：智力缺陷"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," Bob asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "Nothing is easier," he replied, "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track." "Well, what sort of question?" "Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?' " Bob thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."“医生，你能不能告诉我，”鲍勃问，“对于一个看上去很正常的人，你是怎样判断出他有智力缺陷的呢?”“再没有比这容易的了，”医生回答，“问他一个简单的问题，简单到所有人都知道答案，如果他回答得不干脆，那你就知道是怎么回事了。
英语幽默笑话
英语幽默笑话英语幽默笑话（精选15篇） 在繁忙的学习⼯作中，适时读⼀些幽默笑话，放松⾃⼰，劳逸结合⼗分重要。
下⾯是⼩编为你整理的⼏则英语幽默精彩段⼦，让你笑到停不下来 英语幽默笑话篇1 ⼀、我是单⾝汉 Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt.A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms.Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked."Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor." 杰克骑车摔伤,得住院治疗.⼀位年轻美貌的护⼠拿着表格让填.仞杰克填好递上表格"还有什么漏填的?"护⼠问."有!"杰克想了想说,"我是个单⾝汉." ⼆、死于肝癌的⼈100%都吃饭 Wife:You see.According to te statistics on the paper 80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcoho. Husband:It's okey.To my investigation,all Thespeopleeat meals. 妻⼦：你看这张报纸,据统计,死于肝癌的⼈80%都是喝酒的. 丈夫：那有什么?据我调查,死于肝癌的⼈100%都吃饭的. 三、位置上的冰激凌 "Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine." "Yours?Can you prove it?" "Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it." "请原谅,你占了我的位置." "你的位置?你能征明这点吗?" "能,我在位置上放了杯冰激凌." 四、别⽆选择 One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me?" Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice?" ⼀天,夏娃问亚当："你当真爱我吗?" 亚当⽆可奈何地回答："我还有的选择吗?" 五、两个男孩 Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says,"Why are you arguing?" One boy answers,"We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie." "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher,"When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was." The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher. 当⽼师⾛进教室时,两个男孩在争论. ⽼师是说：你们在争论什么? ⼀个男孩回答：‘我们捡到⼀张10块,我们决定把它给⼀个说最⼤的谎的⼈.’ ‘你们应该觉得羞耻’⽼师说,‘当我像你们那么⼤的时候,我连什么是说谎都不知道.’ 两个男孩把钱给了那个⽼师. 六、两只鸟 Teacher:Here are two birds,one is a swallow,the other is sparrow.Now who can tell us which is which? Student:I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher:Please tell us. Student:The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. ⽼师：这⼉有两只鸟,⼀只是⿇雀.谁能指出哪只是燕⼦,哪只是⿇雀吗? 学⽣：我指不出,但我知道答案. ⽼师：请说说看. 学⽣：燕⼦旁边的`就是⿇雀,⿇雀旁边的就是燕⼦. 七、鱼⽹ "Can you tell me what fish net is made,Ann?" "A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl. "你能告诉我鱼⽹是什么做的吗," ⽼师发问道. "把许多⼩孔⽤绳⼦栓在⼀起就成了鱼⽹了." ⼩⼥孩回答道. ⼋、他赢了 Tommy:How is your little brother,Johnny?Johnny:He is ill in bed.He hurt himself. Tommy:That's too bad.How did that happen? Johnny:We played who could lean furthest out of the window,and he won. 汤姆：约翰尼,你⼩弟弟好吗? 约翰尼：他害病卧床了.他受了伤. 汤姆：真糟糕,怎么回事⼉? 约翰尼：我们做游戏,看谁能把⾝⼦探出窗外最远,他赢了. 选我吧 英语幽默笑话篇2 ⼼不在焉的⽼师 An Absent Minded ProfessorA notoriously absentminded professor was one day observed walking along the street withone foot continually in the gutter，the other on the pavement. A pupil meeting him said： “Good evening，professor.How are you? “Well，” answered the professor，“I thought I was all right when I left home，but now I don't know what's the matter with me.I've been limping for the last half hour.” 有⼀天，⼈们看见⼀个有名的⼼不在焉的⽼师在路上⾛，他的⼀只脚⼀直踏在街沟⾥，另⼀只脚踩在⼈⾏道上。
英语笑话简短搞笑
英语笑话简短搞笑英语笑话既能让我们快乐，也能让我们学到英语知识，何乐而不为呢?今天我们就一起来看看英语笑话简短搞笑吧!英语笑话简短搞笑(一)A man walked into a doctor's examining room一个人走进一家诊所。
A:Put out your tongue.伸出你的舌头。
B:OK.好的。
Then he put out his tongue and the doctor looked at it quickly.于是他伸出舌头，医生很快地看了一下。
A:You can put your tongue back now. It's clear what's wrong with you.You need more exercise.好吧，把舌头伸回去吧，你的病因很明显，你需要更多的运动。
B:But，doctor, I don't think...但是，医生，我不认为……A:Don't tell me what you think，I am the doctor，not you，I know what you need.I see hundreds of people like you.None of them get any exercis e.They sit in offices all day and in front of the television in the evening.What you need is to walk quickly for at least twenty mi-nutes a day.不要告诉我你认为怎么样，我是医生，不是你。
我知道你需要什么。
我看过数以百计像你这样的'病人。
他们没有一个人锻炼过。
他们整天坐在办公室里，晚上就坐在电视机前。
你所需要的就是每天至少快跑20分钟。
B:Doctor.you don't understand.I...医生，你不知道，我……A:I don't want to hear any excuses. You must find time for exercise.If you don't，you will get fat and have health problems when you are o1der.我不想听任何理由。
- 1、下载文档前请自行甄别文档内容的完整性，平台不提供额外的编辑、内容补充、找答案等附加服务。
- 2、"仅部分预览"的文档,不可在线预览部分如存在完整性等问题,可反馈申请退款(可完整预览的文档不适用该条件!)。
- 3、如文档侵犯您的权益，请联系客服反馈,我们会尽快为您处理(人工客服工作时间：9:00-18:30)。
关于英语小笑话简单爆笑 篇一：爆笑的经典英语小笑话 爆笑的经典英语小笑话 英语笑话（一） 老师在黑板上写了一句： Time is money.并让同学们翻译。
有名学生答道： “汤姆是玛丽。
” 小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead. 小明就坐了下来。
过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead. 小明又坐了下来。
他旁边的同学于是忍不住问： 你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？ 小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊！ 英语笑话（二） 某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：I am hongtao liu，外宾曰：我 TM 还是方片七呢！ 英语笑话（三） 江青会见外宾，要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻，不许走样。
外宾一见到江青，立刻拍马 屁道："Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful." 翻译照翻，江青心花怒 放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：“哪 里，哪里”。
翻译不敢怠慢，把江青的话翻成英文："Where? Where?" 外宾一愣，还有这样的人，追 问哪里漂亮的，干脆马屁拍到底："Everywhere, everywhere." 翻译：“你到处都很漂亮。
”江青更高兴了，但总是要客气一下：“不见得，不见得”。
翻 译赶紧翻成英文："You are not allowed to see, you are not allowed to see." 英语笑话（四） 话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。
A 神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。
A 高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大 拇指道：「I AM 后羿！」 B 神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「I AM 丘比特！」 轮到 C 了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！ 结果正中仆人的心脏。
就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一 句：「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」 英语笑话（五） 某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。
一日上街不慎与一老外相撞， 忙说：I am sorry. 老外应道：I am sorry too. 某人听后又道：I am sorry three. 老外不解，问：What are you sorry for? 某人无奈，道：I am sorry five. 英语笑话（六）一位来自日本的旅客， 坐出租车去机场的路上， 看到一辆汽车经过， 就说： “oh， TOKOTA！ Made in Japan! It is very fast！”又有一辆经过，他又说： “oh，NISSAN！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”司机有点不高兴，觉得他太吵了！当第三辆经过时，他还是说：“oh，HONDA！Made in Japan! It is very fast！” 后来到了机场，那个日本人就问：“How Much？”出租车司机说：“1000！” 日本人惊奇的问司机： “为什么那么贵？”出租车司机回答说： “oh， mileometer （计 程表） ！ Made in Japan! It is very fast！” 英语笑话（七） 英语老师问一个学生，“How are you 是什么意思” 学生想 how 是怎么，you 是你，于是回答“怎么是你？” 老师生气又问另一个同学：“How old are you ?是什么意思？” 这个同学想了想说：“怎么老是你。
” 英语笑话（八） 某男，粗通英文，至使馆，有表要填，有一栏是 sex。
该男思之久已，毅然下笔：“Once a week“。
签证官观后暴笑，曰：“This item should be filled in with male or female.“ 该男顿时赧颜，思之，填下“female“，官楞之，曰：“shouldn’t it be male?“ 男急释曰：“I am a normal man, so I have sex with female.” 英语笑话（九） 一位在美的留学生， 想要考国际驾照。
在考试时因为过于紧张， 看到地上标线是向左转。
他不放心的问道:turn left？ 监考官回答：right. 于是他立刻向右转。
很抱歉他只有下次再来。
英语笑话（十） 传说克林顿和教皇同一天去世，上帝搞错了，把克林顿送上了天堂，而把教皇送入了 地狱。
发现错误后上帝马上改了回来，路上二人相遇。
教皇：感谢上帝，我终于能见到圣母玛利亚了（Virgin Maria）. 克林顿（坏笑中）：Sorry，it"s too late. 英语笑话（十一） A：What’s on your hand？ B：Watch. A：How to spell that？ B：T-H-A-T~ 英语笑话（十二） 女：say“i love you”，say it，come on！say it！ 男：it！ 篇二：爆笑的经典英语小笑话 爆笑的经典英语小笑话英语笑话（一） 老师在黑板上写了一句： Time is money.并让同学们翻译。
有名学生答道： “汤姆是玛丽。
” 小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead. 小明就坐了下来。
过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead. 小明又坐了下来。
他旁边的同学于是忍不住问： 你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？ 小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊！ 英语笑话（二） 某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：I am hongtao liu，外宾曰：我 TM 还是方片七呢！ 英语笑话（三） 江青会见外宾，要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻，不许走样。
外宾一见到江青，立刻拍马 屁道："Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful." 翻译照翻，江青心花怒 放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：“哪 里，哪里”。
翻译不敢怠慢，把江青的话翻成英文："Where? Where?" 外宾一愣，还有这样的人，追 问哪里漂亮的，干脆马屁拍到底："Everywhere, everywhere." 翻译：“你到处都很漂亮。
”江青更高兴了，但总是要客气一下：“不见得，不见得”。
翻 译赶紧翻成英文："You are not allowed to see, you are not allowed to see." 英语笑话（四） 话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。
A 神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。
A 高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大 拇指道：「I AM 后羿！」 B 神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「I AM 丘比特！」 轮到 C 了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！ 结果正中仆人的心脏。
就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一 句：「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」 英语笑话（五） 某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。
一日上街不慎与一老外相撞， 忙说：I am sorry. 老外应道：I am sorry too. 某人听后又道：I am sorry three. 老外不解，问：What are you sorry for? 某人无奈，道：I am sorry five. 英语笑话（六） 一位来自日本的旅客， 坐出租车去机场的路上， 看到一辆汽车经过， 就说： “oh， TOKOTA！ Made in Japan! It is very fast！”又有一辆经过，他又说： “oh，NISSAN！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”司机有点不高兴，觉得他太吵了！当第三辆经过时，他还是说：“oh，HONDA！Made in Japan! It is very fast！” 后来到了机场，那个日本人就问：“How Much？”出租车司机说：“1000！” 日本人惊奇的问司机： “为什么那么贵？”出租车司机回答说： “oh， mileometer （计 程表） ！Made in Japan! It is very fast！” 英语笑话（七） 英语老师问一个学生，“How are you 是什么意思” 学生想 how 是怎么，you 是你，于是回答“怎么是你？” 老师生气又问另一个同学：“How old are you ?是什么意思？” 这个同学想了想说：“怎么老是你。
” 英语笑话（八） 某男，粗通英文，至使馆，有表要填，有一栏是 sex。
该男思之久已，毅然下笔：“Once a week“。
签证官观后暴笑，曰：“This item should be filled in with male or female.“ 该男顿时赧颜，思之，填下“female“，官楞之，曰：“shouldn’t it be male?“ 男急释曰：“I am a normal man, so I have sex with female.” 英语笑话（九） 一位在美的留学生，想要考国际驾照。
在考试时因为过于紧张，看到地上标线是向左转。
他不放心的问道:turn left？ 监考官回答：right. 于是他立刻向右转。
很抱歉他只有下次再来。
英语笑话（十） 传说克林顿和教皇同一天去世，上帝搞错了，把克林顿送上了天堂，而把教皇送入了 地 狱。
发现错误后上帝马上改了回来，路上二人相遇。
教皇：感谢上帝，我终于能见到圣母玛利亚了（Virgin Maria）. 克林顿（坏笑中）：Sorry，it"s too late. 英语笑话（十一） A：What’s on your hand？ B：Watch. A：How to spell that？ B：T-H-A-T~ 英语笑话（十二） 女：say“i love you”，say it，come on！say it！ 男：it！ 篇三：看笑话学英语笑话大全爆笑翻译 1.One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?" 一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。