《唐伯虎点秋香》英文搞笑版剧本

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英语小话剧搞笑唐伯虎点秋香

（江南四大才子结伴出游）一女子：你们看，你们看，江南四大才子在那边哎.(look,look! here comes the four handsome boys! )（众女子兴奋观看）（四大才子摆ＰＯＳＥ，众女子倾倒逃散）（一女子被四人拦住，被迫跳河）唐伯虎：想跑？你飞不出我的五指山的。

（欲跳下河被拦住） (don’t go ,you can’t fly out of my five fingers! )祝枝山：伯虎兄，有人在看。

(keep calm brother tang, someone watching )祝枝山：今天我们江南四大才子到这里游山玩水，难怪那些女子要疯狂了。

(Today we four handsome boys here, it's no wonder that those women are crazy !)文斌：说得是，(that’s true )文征明：各位各位，既然大家今天兴致这么好，不如来吟首诗如何？（hey,boys ,how about singing poems since we are exicted 祝枝山：哎，征明兄提议的好啊。

文斌兄你先来。

That sounds great !so ,brother wenbing ,you singing first!）文斌：来呀！(OK),山下一群鹅。

文征明：嘘声赶落河。

祝枝山：落河捉鹅一肚饿。

唐伯虎：吃完回家玩老婆。

三人：哎呀，对得妙呀，真是绝句！( Oh my gad ,this poem is really cool!)唐伯虎：啊哈哈~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~` (hahahahaha)三人：真的那么好笑？！(oh,what he laughed at? and What’so fanny!)文征明：为什么唐兄每次出游，都那么豪情奔放呢？ (why brother tang can keep happy everytime when we go out?)文斌：乐而忘形，实在令人（三人）羡慕羡慕啊。

搞笑英语话剧剧本5-7人--心碎

Heart brokenBilling：XiMenchuixueYeGuchengHuaManlouKingPanJinlianNarratage/soldierN：A quiet village is covered with white snow. Birds are dancing in the cold. A man is standing in the street. The wind is coming in silence. Another mysterious man approaches .Y与X相遇．Y: Oh , I am sorry to knock into you !X: Ha ha , Never mind, boy. What’s your name?Y: Ha ha , I won’t change my name, no matter what happens. I’m the most famous-------YeGucheng. Who are you?X: I am XiMenchuixue.Y:Ah XiMenchuixue?X: Yes, what’s wrong?Y: I heard that you are the best one in Chinese Kongfu.X: Great, you know me !Y: But your wife is my first lover.X: WhatY抱腿: Oh, Please, please…… Don’t kill me! Let me go!X:No, I must kill you !Y: I don't want to be killed. There is an eighty-year-old mother and athree-year-old son to be looked after by me!X: Noway! Because we are enemies now! You know?Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don't force me!X: 拔刀砍向Y(Y拿出一袋牛奶迎上去)X抢过牛奶: Milk, very good! I like drinking it. How do you know that?Y: Just drink it!X喝完牛奶: Thanks, ha ha.Y: Do you still want to kill me?X: Sure! Milk is milk.Y(恼怒+冷酷):Very nice! I hope you won’t forget what you said!?X:I’m sure I won’t!Y: I must give you a lesson! If I don't beat you this time, you’ll never behave properly!3-2-1-0!X捂着肚子，蹲下：Oach, Oach !Y大笑：HaHa……X可怜状: Help!Help! Where is the washroom?Y: What ?X: Toliet?Y: What ?X: The “WC”?Y: Oh, I see. go along this street to the end and turn left when you see a high building! You can’t miss it.X: Thanks, bye bye.X与J相遇X跑过来J举牌：Ladies roomJ: You saw me!? You animal, monster, bullshit! (一边拉拉锁一边说)I kill you!X: Oh, No! I am sorry honey, but you are so beautiful! What’s your name?J: My first name is Jinlian, and my family name is Pan.X: Oh, PanJinlian So nice name. I love you. You have the most beautiful face, nose and little lips. Would you like to marry me?J: Yes, I’d like to. But do you get married?X: Of course, ah…not! What about you?J: Um…neither am I. But do you have a ring to give me？X: I will get one for you.J: I love you. I will be right here waiting for you.N: Then XiMenchuixue go to find a ring. Let us see what happens to YeGucheng at the same time.Y: You see?? It is really terrible for a person not being good at English.Y掏出纸屑吹:This is XiMenchuixue now!H: Stop!Protecting the environment is a basic obligation!Y: Who are you?H: HuaManlou! Have you seen XiMenchuixue?Y: Yes, he was beaten by me and is in “WC” now,ha……H惊讶: So, now, you are the best in the world!Y: Clever girl.H: You are the one my king looking for! Do you want to join us?Y: Yes, my pleasure.H: Ok, follow me. Let’s go to see my king!Y: Ok, Let’s go! My first lover in dreams.H: What?Y: Nothing.H:My dear king ! Let me introduce YeGucheng to you! （指Y）This is YeGucheng.K: Sit down please, YeGucheng.H走到Y前，《婚礼进行曲》起，H: YeGucheng! Do you want to follow my king no matter what happens such as cold headache , rainstorm or Aids?Y: Yes, I do.K: Gucheng , come closely. 给叶孤城戴上戒指（音乐停）X唱着上: Only you……(看到戒指) this ring will be mine!K: But who are you? Why should it belong to you?Y急切: King! Dear king! I must go now, my mother asks me to go back home to have dinner.X: I am XiMenchuixue. YeGucheng, come here! Give me the ringY: Here you are.(灰溜溜的过去)X转身准备离开K: Arrest him!X: I will kill anyone who is in my way, no matter he is a human being or a Buddha.S: I am the most handsome soldier in the world. My favorite is looking myself in the mirror. I am here. I am here! I am here! You can’t go, boyX拔刀捅个不停，S动作配合但不死X擦汗：I am too tired to kill you, but I will cut down your head.S: Oh, God! Where is my head? Without a head, I will be very, very ugly. World without being handsome, I would rather die. Ah…K: Ah, XiMenchuixue is really rude. You see The handsome soldier’s brain was broken into pieces. Tell Youlai building not to cook tofu brain as breakfast any more.N: Then, XiMenchuixue go to ladies room to meet his lover with the ring. But actually HuaManlou is XiMenchuixue’s wife. So… what will happen next?H: My dear husband, where are you going?X: Something important! Don’t follow me.H: But the ring should be mine. (X找到了金莲, but H 也跟来了.)H: Oh, shit(捂眼). What are you doing? You little bitch, I will kill you. Nine Yin bones claw?J: HaHaHa…! My son is Li Gang, I fear nothing(自信).Who the hell are you?H: I’m his wifeJ: You have a wife? You cheated me!X: But you have a son, named Li Gang. My heart is broken(扭头退场，留下背影)J: My heart is also broken(冲背影，也下场)H:（大喊）My heart is broken into pieces(冲背影)Fuck your sisters.N：At the same time, Ye Gucheng and the king are playing another legend story.Y: 转身准备离开K: Gucheng!? Are you going to abandon me?Y: I will!K: Why ?Y:Because I’m not a gay. Once, there was a sincere love available for me , but I did n’t cherish. Now I regret to die! If the god would give me another chance, I would have said to that girl “I love you” .If there must be a limit for it , I hope it was one night. But now ,my heart is broken(退场)K: Oh ,no. My heart is broken too. (退场)N：Every one is a fraud. Love is not a thing that you can buy whenever you want. At last, These people with broken heart go back to Tang dynasty, and they all become monks. Then……(放西游记的歌，白龙马最后出场，背后贴字“White Dragon Horse”End.。

多人搞笑英文话剧 Wu song fought the tiger武松打虎(精品)

武松打虎剧本Wu song fought the tiger旁白一：Water Margin is a well-known Chinese novel. It’s famous for the 108 chivalrous robbers in Song Dynasty. Wu song is one of the most popular among them. Now please enjoy the short play Wu Song fought the tiger.（播放搞笑英文版好汉歌，武松大摇大摆拿棍子挥舞进场。

）第一幕：喝酒武松：Hello! I am Wu Song. The most handsome, famous and clever man in Liang Shan. I am going home to kill my sister in law Pan jinlian! She poisoned my brother. I told my brother Pan jinlian was dangerous. But My brother still married her. (叹气，唉….跟音乐一起唱且跳舞)Dangerous, dangerous! The girl is dangerous.(舞蹈dangerous…)武松(见到酒店一家)：A restaurant! Good. I am hungry. (进屋坐下)Waiter! Wine! Wine! The best wine!小二1：Hi, sir. Sit down please. Would you like XO, Er Guo Tou, Mao Tai, or Qing Dao beer?武松：（晕晕乎乎地）How much is the XO?小二1：1880 yuan . ( 展示大瓶酒，醒目的标价)武松：Open…Open…..(喷嚏)（小二将酒瓶起开）武松：（面怒，片刻无语）Open the window please！Not the wine. I want some er guo tou!It’s strong enough.小二1：You….You…..(敢怒不敢言, 转身倒碗二锅头)，Ok. Here you are.武松：Anything to eat?小二1：Would you like sandwiches, hamburgers, bread, or pizza?武松：Ten pizzas, please.小二1: Here you are!武松：(喝一口酒）Good wine, very good wine!（小二上了两碗酒，武松喝了，却是不再倒了）武松：Waiter! I want more wine.小二2：Sir, More pizzas OK, more wine no way! 客官，要比萨饼就给您，这酒就不添了。

【英文剧本】7人搞笑英语版话剧剧本-三顾茅庐

Three visits to the cottage————By FRIENDSThree visits to the cottage（中文名三顾茅庐）is a story from one of the Four Great classical Chinese novels——the Three Kindoms. ZhuGeliang is one of the main characters in the original. Also, he is an outstanding militarist, politician and the symbol of the wisdom in Chinese history. Another main actors——Liubei, who visited ZhuGeliang's thatched cottage three times and wanted to invite him to be his military adviser1. Finally, ZhuGeliang was moved by Liubei' sincerity2, helped the three brothers——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei to establish the Shu Kindom. He devoted3 his whole life to the cause and died in harness.Our script is revised from this story and writed by my classmates of group FRIENDS. In this play, we add many modern and funny elements. For example, there are some spoken lines and actions which were copied from some classical movies like Infernal Affairs(中文名无间道), My Own Swordsman（中文名武林外传）,The Flirting4 Scholar（中文名唐伯虎点秋香）were combined in our play. Also, we added some interesting pictures and audio to our slide.Maybe there are some mistakes in our dialogue. But thisplay is the result of painstaking5 efforts of our group. So we present our script to you and wish you will like it.Three visits to the cottageAside: After their swearing brotherhood6 to heaven and earth in a peach garden, the three persons——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei-had to be janitors7 in Caocao's corporation to make a living for they could not find jobs. Meanwhile the legendary8 and mysterious character ZhuGeliang who had been forced to attend CET-6 test by his wife was reviewing examination contents.SCENE 1: Liubei's homeActors: Liubei Guanyu ZhangfeiGuanyu: Brother! We three have been hungry for days and when will this tragic9 life end? It's so terrible!Liubei: Yu, it's impossible that I don't feel painful, isn't it? But as the proverb says it is hard to sit in Rome and strive against the Pope. Now we come down to Caocao's corporation as gatekeeper, anyhow we can fill our stomachs between whiles. It's very hard to get work now. No diplomas and no job offers, what are you dreaming about?Zhangfei: Oh, Brother! ZhuGeliang's wife borrowed us 500yuan to cope with his husband’s CET-6 fees last month, itseems that it's time for us to be debt collectors now.Guanyu: Yeah, Brother! Or we'll be as poor as church mouse.Liubei: Alas10! How did I forget this? Let's go! Go~~ go~! Hurry up! Follow me and go to the mountain for dunning!Aside: And then the three brothers climb the mountain to find ZhuGeliang.SCENE 2: ZhuGeliang’s houseActors: ZhuGeliang WifeZhuGeliang: Good morning! I am the genius ZhuGeliang. But I feel so morose11 recently. Because my wife forced me to pass the CET-6. What’s CET-6? Do you know? You?(Ask the audience) I’ve never heart about that. And she obliged me to read so heavy books and do so many texts. It’s ridiculous. My major is military advice, not English. Why should I read this?Wife: Darling!ZhuGeliang：My wife is coming，she is so long-winded that I can never bear her.Wife：My dear, how about your study?ZhuGeliang：These books make me want to doze12. I’m dizzy.Wife：Darling! Now, competition is so serious. If you can’t pass cet6 to get your master’s degree, it is difficult to find a job. I have stayed here for half of a lifetime. But never visit a bigger place like Yangling.ZhuGeliang：Don’t worry, these books are too easy for your husband and don’t need to learn.Wife：Are you sure? let me have a test to you. Listen，read and see!ZhuGeliang：A piece of cake!Wife：Listen, can you spell apple? Desk?ZhuGeliang: Sorry I can’t.Wife：You can’t? Oh, how unfortunate I am! (crying) I'm wrong, I'm really wrong, I'm wrong from the beginning. I shouldn't marry here. If I didn’t marry here, I'll never in this heartrending place now,ZhuGeliang：Don’t cry, don’t cry, stop! I ‘m going to study hard at once.Wife (laugh): That's the spirit! Do you know? We are in the red for your Cet6. I even borrowed money from the gate keeper. What can I do when they dun for debts.ZhuGeliang: Are you pointing to that gatekeeper Liubei?Wife: Oh! Yes! Come on quickly! Boy!Keeper: What is the matter? Madam?Wife: Listen carefully! My husband is too busy doing his homework to welcome any people, so you will tell the people who calls on him that boss has went to study in England. .Keeper: Yes! Madam!Aside: While it is going on, liubei Guanyu Zhangfei have came to the gate of ZhuGeliang’s house.SCENE3 Outside ZhuGeliang’s houseActors: Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei KeeperZhangfei: Let me strike the door! Open! Open!!!Keeper: (Check from the peep hole) Are these men asking for the debt? (Open the door)Liubei: This is liubei! We are calling on ZhuGeliang and his wife.Keeper: Zhu said he is not in.Liubei: En????Keeper: Oh! No!...I mean …I mean my boss is studying English in England for the exam of CET-6,and he may not be come back this month.Liubei: OK! We are waiting for him here!Guanyu: Nobody knows that when he will come back, thus, let’s go home!Aside: The three men went away with disappointed. After a month, the deeply autumn came! They came here at the second time. Unfortunately, they didn’t see Zhugeliang again. Two month passed, the cold winter is coming! It is heavy snow and very cold outsides. ZhuGeliang knows the reason that why they come here three times, and orders the keeper to let them come in whiles his wife is outside.SCENE4 Outside ZhuGeliang’s houseActors: Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei KeeperZhangfei: Please tell me in time when you would see him next time, let me bind13 him up for you. It really should not trouble you to come here time and time again.Liubei: These days, the borrower is the god! Let’s go there again and show our the warmest heart to move them.(Knock the door)Keeper：My boss is at home today, but he is reading books about CET-6. Please wait for a moment!Zhangfei：Xiao Zhu! Come out! Brothers, help me to take care of my seventh uncle and his third niece. Get out, or I will burn your house down!Guanyu: Sunflower press! AI. Litter brother, big brother has said several times, We are intellectuals, understand?Don't be so rude, we are here for debt, not for his life. If you will kill him, where is our money?Liubei: The submortagage crisis is so serious, don’t you know that simple reason? If you know, please bat your eyes!Zhangfei (Bat eyes)Guanyu: sunflower press!!!!!Zhangfei: Where did you get this KongFu?Guanyu: Hehe! I get it from a TV program called “My Own Swordsman”, which is so popular with lots of people in China!Zhangfei: Why not say it earlier? We three brother could run a company of Chinese KongFu if we had know that before!Guanyu: Oh!! That is a good idea!!!!Keeper: Don’t interrupt!!!! Boss is reading!!!Liubei: Keep quite!!!Aside: at this time, zhugeliang is exciting, but his wife come back soon.SCENE 5: ZhuGeliang’s HomeActors: ZhuGeliang wife liubei Zhangfei GuanyuZhuGeliang: Thank goodness, here's Liubei at last. Ha ha ha ……….Wife: Wof! Darling! He may come here to ask me to repay his money. We can’t let him in.ZhuGeliang: My darling, please don’t worry. I can make liubei go back with nothing by my sliver14 tongue.Liubei: Mr. ZhuGeliang. I have hunted you for a long time!Zhu: Oh! You are Liubei. What can I do for you ?Liu: my brother, you have borrowed me $500, when you repay it for me? I have starved for several days.ZhuGeliang: I owe you $500? who can testify? Please give me a chance, I want to be an honest man.Liubei: How can I give you a chance? Speak it to the judge.Zhu: Please look, although having ambition , you are just a guarder .We can enlarge our power from this base, and then attack Caocao. At last I believe that we can reign15 the whole country.Liubei: I’m so surprised! I don’t know you are so ideal.ZhuGeliang: If I give you a map, could I not repay your money?Liubei: En…….you know so much about affairs, are you willing to create a new country together with us?ZhuGeliang: But I can’t help you, I have accustom16 the life at present.Liubei: If you don’t help me , the citizen will live a harder life , please don’t refuse.ZhuGeliang: En……sorry, I can’t. Because my wife forces me to pass the CET-6 recently. If you can help me to resolve the problem, I will help you.Liu: En…..Zhangfei: (Pull) Brother, come here. Everything is fake now such as the milk. Why can’t we find somebody help us do the test or buy a key ?Guanyu: Yes! We can overdraft17 our salary from Caocao to buy the key at first.SCENE 6: ZhuGeliang’s HomeActors: Wife KeeperAside: Because the salary has been given to zhugeliang to buy the key, Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei have been starving for one month.Keeper：（Happy）Sir , you are really a god . CET6 has got 600 scores. Be really to startle the universe and move the gods.Wife：What happened? 600 scores? Oh! Do not shoulder your several years studying at a cold window; Do not shoulder my night holding candle accompanying you. After your Mastergraduates, happy life will approach. Cars, house, money!SCENE 7: Outside ZhuGeliang’s houseAside: After receiving the master degree, ZhuGeliang will go to work with Liubei to establish a new Kingdom.So the couples apart.Actors: ZhuGeliang Wife Liubei Guanyu ZhangfeiWife：Honey!ZhuGeliang：Darling!Wife：Excellent man have a long-range ambition. You should put cause above everything else , are sure not to miss me.ZhuGeliang：I will have a long journey .Please take care of yourself.(Turn around) Don’t worried, never miss you!!(Run) ZhuGeliang：(To Liubei)Your Majesty18, I will never forget your favour. I should be loyal and devoted to the last.Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei: Let' go!!!!!Aside: The three men go down to the hill. That is the end of the whole story. Thank you for your attention.1 advisern.劝告者，顾问参考例句：They employed me as an adviser.他们聘请我当顾问。

唐伯虎点秋香,搞笑版英文台词

旁白：one day , four scholars go o 了ut for sightseeing舞蹈开始（开场舞音乐）祝枝山: we are four scholars in the southern part china . Today we are waiting here for your sightseeing with the beautiful scenery . How about recite verses ?祝之山：good idea . Mr Tang comes first . 唐伯虎: ok , I think it's a good idea .众人感叹: oh so many beautiful girl秋香走过，与唐伯虎四目相对，深情对望直至离去。

祝枝山: hey come on ,what’s wrong with you文征明: come on唐伯虎: ok ，with water and hills , every plants look bright and beautiful rain and shine , every moment appears pleasant and wonderful .祝枝山: good ,you deserve the title of scholar 唐伯虎: thank you thank you ,I’m the best二：周文宾: oh ,look ，a sexy girl文征明: so beautiful周文宾: she looks so longly ,Mr Tang , show us how to seduce her唐伯虎: en......en......祝枝山: we believe you will not let us down周文兵&文征明: yes唐伯虎: ok周文宾&文征明&祝枝山: go go go如花出场唐伯虎: Hello ( 看到如山真面目)唐伯虎: may I learn on your scholar如花: what ? no way I’m a girl I’m a decent girl唐伯虎: ok I see do you know tangbohu ?如花: tangbohu? Who is he? I don’t know唐伯虎: ok ok how about this ? ten yuan and them let me learn on your shoulder .It’s a deal如花: 10 yuan ? just yuan? At least 100 yuan唐伯虎: oh my lady gaga . you are ugly monster如花: ugly!!! Monster!!! (走人)三周文宾: what't that ? So many people .祝枝山: let's have a look .文征明: get away !(动作：推人)唐伯虎: it's her . I want to go to the party.祝枝山: good idea ! I am sure you can do it .四主持人：oh ladies and gentlemen . I'm at Hua'villa . Today here will hold the Blind Date Party . Oh my god ,look at the crazy the secne .so many people , let's guess who will be the lucky dog . Now , let's welcome Mrs Hua and QiuXiang .主持人：oh Mrs Hua , you are also so young . Of course , QiuXiang you are so beautiful .QiuXiang : thank you !主持人：do you have anything to say ? (对华夫人说)Mrs Hua : i hope everyone can enjoy the night . Thank you !下人：this way , please !QiuXiang : mum, give him some tips . （华夫人开始掏钱，先掏出100，马上收起来，再掏出1块就给了下人，下人鄙视了一下，甩甩毛巾走人，华夫人：切。

三打白骨精中英文对照搞笑版

三打白骨精中英文对照搞笑版人物：T唐僧S：孙悟空、E：猪八戒、J：沙僧、B：白骨精、B1：B变成的村姑、B2：B变成的太婆、B3：B变化成的老头、N：哪吒T: Wukong,where we are now?悟空我们现在到哪里了S: Bajie,map!八戒地图E: (摸出，递给S) S: oh ，master，look！(凑近T)………（T、S一齐转向E）哦师傅你瞧啊！T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you don't take these pictures of beautiful girls with you! 八戒我告诉你多少次啦不要老是带美女图啦！E: Oh,master!Forgive me(伸手拿回)哦师傅原谅我这次吧T: (缩手)No,i tkink i will take this untill we get to west ,bajie,map.没门，我想就由我暂时保管，直到我们到达西天，取得真经，八戒地图E: But……T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map?E: (递)Here.Em……i am so hungry now,(坐)and i can not moveanymore,奥师傅我肚子饿扁了，再也走不动了S: Fat Pig!肥猪E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,Iwill……….死猴子如果你再敢说这俩个字，我就，我就S: You will what(凶相)?你就要干嘛啊E: (软禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).呵呵我就帮你抓虱子啊！S: Hm!T:（轻咳）Wukong,I am hungry too，would you bring us some food?悟空我也饿了你能帮我们去找点吃的吗？E: You see ,master is hungry,too!你看我们师傅也饿了T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my las t meal!八戒不要忘了谁把我上一餐的饭给吃了J: But master,if a monster comes while brother monkeg is away。

英文短剧剧本--Three visits to the cottage(三顾茅庐)

Three visits to the cottage（中文名三顾茅庐）Three visits to the cottage（中文名三顾茅庐）is a story from one of the Four Great classical Chinese novels——the Three Kindoms. ZhuGeliang is one of the main characters in the original. Also, he is an outstanding militarist（军事家）, politician and the symbol of the wisdom（智慧）in Chinese history. Another main actors——Liubei, who visited ZhuGeliang's thatched（茅屋顶）cottage three times and wanted to invite him to be his military（军方）adviser. Finally, ZhuGeliang was moved by sincerity, helped the three brothers——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei to establish the Shu Kindom. He devoted his whole life to the cause and died in harness. In this play, we add many modern and funny elements. For example, there are some spoken lines and actions which were copied from some classical movies like Infernal Affairs(中文名无间道), My Own Swordsman（中文名武林外传）,The Flirting Scholar（中文名唐伯虎点秋香）were combined in our play. So we present our script to you and wish you will like it. Three visits to the cottage Aside: After their swearing brotherhood(友谊) to heaven and earth in a peach garden, the three persons——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei-had to be janitors（看门人）in Caocao's corporation to make a living for they could not find jobs. Meanwhile the legendary（有名的）and mysterious character 诸葛亮who had been forced to attend CET-6（英语六级）test by his wife was reviewing examination contents.旁白话说刘关张桃园三结义之后四处奔波一时间找不到工作不得不在曹操的公司靠看大门为生而此时那个传说中的神秘人物诸葛卧龙先生正专心在家复习考试因为他的老婆黄氏逼着他参加CET-6SCENE 1: Liubei's homeActors:Liubei Guanyu ZhangfeiGuanyu: Brother! We three have been hungry for days and when will this tragic （悲惨的）life end? It's so terrible!关羽大哥咱们都饿了好几天了这种吃糠咽菜的生活我们要过到什么时候啊哎Liubei: Yu, it's impossible that I don't feel painful, isn't it? But as the proverb says it is hard to sit in Rome and strive（努力）against the Pope. Now we come down to Caocao's corporation as gatekeeper, anyhow we can fill our stomachs between whiles. It's very hard to get work now. No diplomas（毕业文凭）and no job offers, what are you dreaming about?刘备二弟这大哥我怎么可能不难受嘛可是常言道人在屋檐下怎能不低头我们现在曹操的公司里给人家看大门这年头工作这么难找我们三兄弟学历又不高好不容易能有口饭吃就很不错了哪还有什么奢求呀Zhangfei: Oh, Brother! ZhuGeliang's wife borrowed us 500yuan to cope with（对付）his husband‟s CET-6 fees last month, it seems that it's time for us to be debt collectors now.张飞大哥对了上个月后面山头诸葛亮的老婆来问我们借走了500块钱去给她老公交学费去了都好久没还我们是不是应该去要回来Guanyu: Yeah, Brother! Or we'll be as poor as church mouse.（喝西北风）关羽是啊大哥不然的话这样下去我们就得喝西北风了Liubei: Alas!（哎呀）How did I forget this? Let's go! Go~~ go~! Hurry up! Follow me and go to the mountain for dunning（要债）!刘备哎就是我怎么这岔给忘了走走走二弟三弟随我这就上山（收拾家伙挽袖子）Aside: And then the three brothers climb the mountain to find ZhuGeliang旁白兄弟三人就此上山SCENE 2: ZhuGeliang‟s houseActors: ZhuGeliang Wife ZhugeliangZhuGeliang: Good morning! I am the genius（天才）ZhuGeliang. But I feel so morose（抑郁的）recently. Because my wife forced me to pass the CET-6. What‟s CET-6? Do you know? You?(Ask the audience) I‟ve never heart about that. And she obliged me to （对我表示感谢）read so he avy books and do so many texts. It‟s ridiculous. My major is military（军事的）advice, not English. Why should I read this?诸葛亮大叫好我就是绝顶聪明的诸葛亮可我最近却很是郁闷我那个娘子非要我去参加什么大学英语六级考试六级考试是个什么东西我怎么听都没听说过还要我看这么厚的书做这么多的题（拿起手里的金瓶梅给大家亮亮）我以后可是要当军师的！！又不是这个专业的干嘛还要要看这种书Wife: Darling!老婆相公（远处喊）ZhuGeliang：My wife is coming，she is so long-winded （啰嗦的）that I can never bear her.诸葛亮老婆上（比较啰嗦）诸葛亮娘子来了我娘子啰嗦的像唐僧一样说起话来我可受不了快老实看书（装作认真状）Wife：My dear, how about your study?老婆相公你的书背的怎么样了ZhuGeliang：These books make me want to doze（打盹儿）. I‟m dizzy（头晕的）. 诸葛亮娘子啊这些书看得我头昏眼花光想打瞌睡Wife：Darling! Now, competition is so serious. If you can‟t pass cet6 to get your master‟s degree, it is difficult to find a job. I have stayed here for half of a lifetime. But never visit a bigger place like Yangling.老婆哎相公呀你有所不知你看现在外面竞争这么激烈你要是不好好考六级将来拿个硕士文凭以后找不到工作可怎么办呀我们在这个小村子里都呆了小半辈子了你看我连稍微大一点的城市像铁岭都没去过ZhuGeliang：Don‟t worry, these books are too easy for your husband and don‟t need to learn.诸葛亮娘子你看老公我这么有才华以后还愁找不到工作么这些书太简单了统统不用看（扔书）Wife：Are you sure? let me have a test to you. Listen，read and see!老婆哼！！你说简单那我考考你ZhuGeliang：A piece of cake（小菜一碟）!诸葛亮怎么还要考我舌战群儒我都不怕小小考试焉能难道我（对观众说）Wife：Listen, can you spell apple? Desk?老婆我要考你听写（诸葛亮郁闷状）听着apple怎么写desk怎么写ZhuGeliang: Sorry I can‟t.诸葛亮（不会抓耳挠腮）Wife：You can‟t? Oh, how unfortunate I am! (crying) I'm wrong, I'm really wrong, I'm wrong from the beginning. I shouldn't marry here. If I didn‟t marry here, I'll never in this heartrending（使人极度伤心的）place now,老婆相公啊你连这都不会可怎么办呀哎呀我错了我真的错了我从一开始就不应该嫁过来如果我不嫁过来就不会流落到这么一个伤心的地方我好后悔呀ZhuGeliang：Don‟t cry, don‟t cry, stop! I …m going to study hard at once.诸葛亮崩溃了（捂耳朵忙劝）诸葛亮娘子莫哭娘子莫哭相公好好看书就是Wife (laugh): That's the spirit （这还差不多）! Do you know? We are in the red for （负债）your Cet6. I even borrowed money from the gate keeper. What can I do when they dun（要债）for debts.老婆（马上变脸）这还差不多你知道么为了供你读书咱们家已经欠了外面一屁股债连看大门的我都借过如果这些人上门来逼债我可怎么办呀ZhuGeliang: Are you pointing to that gatekeeper Liubei?诸葛亮娘子你说看大门的？莫非就是呢个看大门的刘备（抓胡子兴奋点头）Wife: Oh! Yes! Come on quickly! Boy!老婆正是此人书童你快过来Keeper: What is the matter? Madam?书童上书童主人有何吩咐Wife: Listen carefully! My husband is too busy doing his homework to welcome any people, so you will tell the people who calls on him that boss has went to study in England.老婆书童听着相公近日温习功课外人一律不见来人就说去国外游玩讲学去了Keeper: Yes! Madam!书童遵命Aside: While it is going on, liubeiGuanyu Zhangfei have came to the gate of ZhuGeliang‟s house.旁白话正说着刘关张三人已经到了诸葛亮家门口SCENE3 Outside ZhuGeliang‟s houseActors: Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei KeeperZhangfei: Let me strike the door! Open! Open!!!刘关张上张飞大哥我来叫门（气愤敲门咚咚咚）Keeper: (Check from the peep hole（猫眼）) Are these men asking for the debt? (Open the door)书童（从猫眼里看看跟张飞头对上幻灯片配李逵的黑脸吓一跳）莫非是来讨债的（思考开门）Liubei: This is liubei! We are calling on ZhuGeliang and his wife.刘备在下刘备特来拜访诸葛卧龙先生和她老婆Keeper: Zhu said he is not in.书童主人说他不在家Liubei: En????刘关张恩？？？Keeper: Oh! No!...I mean …I mean my boss is studying English in England for the exam of CET-6,and he may not be come back this month.书童哦不是主人主人出去游玩了可能很快回来也可能十多天不回来Liubei: OK! We are waiting for him here!刘备那我们就在这等他Guanyu: Nobody knows that when he will come back, thus, let‟s go home!关羽他呢么贪玩谁知道他什么时候回来大哥我们还是走吧Aside: The three men went away with disappointed. After a month, the deeply autumn came! They came here at the second time. Unfortunately, they didn‟t see Zhugeliang again. Two month passed, the cold winter is coming! It is heavy snow and very cold outsides. ZhuGeliang knows the reason that why they come here threetimes, and orders the keeper to let them come in whiles his wife is outside.旁白三人离去又过了一个月已是深秋三人第二次登门拜访可是仍然没有见着第三次已经是冬天屋外下着鹅毛大雪诸葛亮知道了刘备上门讨债的事情趁这会老婆黄氏不在赶紧命书童前去开门SCENE4 Outside ZhuGeliang‟s houseActors: Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei KeeperZhangfei: Please tell me in time when you would see him next time, let me bind him up （绑起来）for you. It really should not trouble you to come here time and time again.刘关张书童上张飞大哥下次要见诸葛小儿你先给我老三说一声我把他绑来见你如此劳烦哥哥甚是无礼Liubei: These days, the borrower is the god! Let‟s go there again and show our the warmest heart to move them.(Knock the door)刘备哎二弟三弟现在欠钱的都是大爷我们还是再去一回吧一定要诚心诚意才能打动人家（抹眼泪幻灯片放杨白劳与黄世仁咚咚咚敲门）Keeper：My boss is at home today, but he is reading books about CET-6. Please wait for a moment!书童主人今天在家（诸葛亮拿着金瓶梅从身后走过）但是正在看书请你们等一等Zhangfei：Xiao Zhu! Come out! Brothers, help me to take care of my seventh uncle and his third niece（侄女）. Get out, or I will burn your house down!张飞（等不及了）诸葛小儿快出来大哥二哥帮我照顾好我七舅老爷他上外甥女。

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唐伯虎与秋香Scene one（音乐：Happy day）唐伯虎的五位妻子正在家中玩牌…唐：（手摇用钞票攒成的扇子，摆pose）I’m back, honeys .Wives:（一人一叫）honey, sweetie, dear, darling, candy.Wife 1: T oday is payday, isn’t it?2: How much have you got?3: You’ve promised to treat us a big meal.4: We want to go to KFC.5: Yeah, let’s go!Scene two(They enter KFC.)Wife 1: I want a hamburger.2: I want a fried chicken.3: I want potato chips.4: I want Pepsi.唐：Ok, ok, find a table first, and sit there quietly. I know what your favorite is.(唐伯虎取完食物回来)唐：（按顺序发）Your hamburger. You fried chicken…(看见秋香)Ur…what a beauty!(石榴忙梳妆)石：Would you want to treat us?唐：Ok, of course! Join us!石：Oh, a free big meal!秋：That’s not so good. We have to go.石：Why? Let’s have a meal, a free meal, and a handsome guy.唐：According to your temperament, you two mustn’t come from ordinary family.石：Yes, we are from 华府. My name is 石榴. I like cooking, swimming, …(Cell phone ringing)秋：Hello, oh, I’ll be back soon!对石：We have to go. Madam Hua called us.对唐：We are so sorry. Thank you all the same.石：See you. This is my card.唐：（看秋香，看老婆）唉!Now I really know what a beauty is!(唐伯虎和祝枝山闲逛，在街上，见告示，一脸惊愕，转高兴)唐：God bless me!祝：You’re so crazy about money?唐：Money? No! It’s a secret!祝：（鄙视状）Ur…I see. It must be some women.唐：My parents give birth to me, but you are the only person who knows me. I must be quick!Scene three(华府门前——一大堆人在府门前，唐跪在旁)（音乐起：二泉映月）唐：Everybody! Attention, please! A dutiful son will sell himself for the dead father. Please show some mercy on me!石：You, guy, why come here so early just do this kind of business? Don’t you know it will bring bad luck?唐：Good lady, I have no other choice.秋：You look so familiar. We have met before somewhere?唐：Come across each other with no care of acquaintance or not.石：What a pity! But we only need one servant.惨人：How miserable I am! I want to sell myself for my whole family.唐：It can’t be true.惨人：Show some mercy on me. Last night, my whole family except me all went to heaven. And I have heart attack, blood cancer…Please, hire me as your servant.秋：This one deserves more sympathy. Let’s hire him.石：（哭）Ok.唐：Madam, I came first.秋：It’s not a matter of order.石：Yes, this guy’s family almost all went to heaven. You just lost your father. We really want to help you, but…唐：But, I’m also miserable.石：But the fact is he is more miserable. Do you have something moremiserable?唐：I…Ur…You see, I haven’t clean my nails for days. They are dirty with mud. Doesn’t it seem miserable?(惨人的小狗突然死去)惨人：（痛苦）旺财…旺财…How can you die? You have been with me for so many years! Since you came to my family, you have never had a full meal. I’m so sorry for you.唐：（看见一只蟑螂，大叫) Be careful!(石榴一退，踩死蟑螂)唐：Baby！What’s wrong with you? How can you go first?! I have been with you for so many years. I treat you as my brother. I teach you, raise you. How can I imagine you go before me?石：秋香，They are both miserable, what shall we do?秋：Let’s wait and see.惨人：That’s good.(走到唐伯虎前)Big brother, don’t play tricks. You guy, please, do some make-ups first. You see, my body is full of wound. How can you look more miserable than me?唐：Please don’t compete with me. The most thing I ca n’t tolerate is that someone competes with me!惨人：Can you be more miserable than me?(唐捡起一棍，自断一臂)唐：Now you see, my arm is broken! Ha Ha!惨人：I won’t give up. I will contribute my life.（拿起棍子砸脑门，血流不止）Who can be more miserable than me? （倒下）唐：Good guy, you win! We’ll meet next time if there is chance.石：This one is dead. We decide to hire you.唐：Really?石：Yes.秋：You can go home for some preparations. Come tomorrow.唐：Miss 秋香, thank you!(秋香回眸一笑。

)唐：She is flirting with me now. I’ll be successful soon!Scene four(秋香在房里读诗集)唐：(在窗外拿吉它)I’m a poet, a romantic poet. I’m a genius, an all-rounded genius…唐伯虎弹吉他…（音乐起：河东狮吼插曲）秋：(生气状)Don’t be so noisy. I’m reading.唐伯虎正投入，没听见。

秋香尖叫…唐伯虎愣住秋：Don’t be so noisy. I’m reading.唐：If you don’t like it, I can paint for you.秋香不屑一顾走开。

唐伯虎打响指叫来石榴。

石：（奔来）What can I do for you?唐：Prepare writing brushes, ink sticks, paper and ink stones for me.石：Ok, I’ll be back soon.石榴送来笔墨纸砚，唐一面观察秋香一面作画。

石：You’re so great! You can not only sing, but also paint. How beautifulI am in your painting!唐作好画。

唐：Miss 石，you’re so beautiful, and we are good friends, right?石：Yes, we’re more than friends. (害羞)唐：Can you do me a favor?石：I’ll do everything for you!唐：Cool. Can you help me to send this to 秋香? Thanks a lot!石：What? (由喜转怒，把画抢过来走了)石：(毁画)You should paint 秋香! I won’t give it to her!石榴见到秋香。

石：This is what 华安gives to you !秋：I don’t want it.石：It’s your business. Here you are.(秋香打开画，哭了)秋：A scholar would die rather than be humiliated.(路上遇到唐伯虎)唐：(兴奋地问)Have you received my present, miss?秋：Heng! (转身离去)唐：It seems that I fail again. (叹气)石榴来。