作文改写改错.doc

作文训练学案（修改与润色）作文修改润色的意思就是让大家使用我们学过的语法知识和短语去润色作文，进而让我们的作文更加简洁，更加地道。

改写润色可以从如下角度考虑：大词替换，从句应用，分词简化，状语插入。

一篇好的作文，不仅要在写作审题上下功夫还要在文章润色上多琢磨。

这样的文章才能让你在考试中赢得高分。

但是这些润色的素材都需要平时的积累和练习。

不是一蹴而就的，希望同学们在时间有限的高三生活中，主动背诵一些好的句子和文章，以及适量的大词，并学会灵活运用到自己的作文中。

本学案只能指导同学们作文改写润色的思路，希望同学们在以后的写作练习中时刻想着这些方法，让自己的作文赢得高分。

1.The nurse is very kind. She looks after my sister.2.We watched the play "Teahouse” . The play “Teahouse” was written by Lao She.4.The train started at 5:00 p.m. Mike missed it.5.The letter is from my uncle. I received it three days ago.6.Cream, butter and cheese are kinds of food. They make you fat.7.The man is in the next room. He brought us the letter yesterday.8.He sat in a chair and had a newspaper in the handHe sat in a chair with a newspaper in the hand.9.He was satisfied with the result, and he decided to go on with a new experiment.Satisfied with the result, he decided to go on with a new experiment.10.We had a short rest. Then we began to play happily. We sang and danced. Some toldstories. Some played chess.After a short rest, we had great fun singing and dancing, telling jokes and playing chess. 11.When it is seen from the hill, the park looks very beautiful.13.Because the boy was greatly touched by his teacher's words, he did a lot of things tohelp his classmates.15.If it is heated to a high temperature, water will change into vapor.16.Though they had been warned of the storm, the farmers were still working in the fields18.The teacher entered the classroom, and he was followed by a group of students.20.Yang Ling is my fellow classmate and friend. Recently she had a terrible condition andhas been hospitalized for over a month.Recently, Yang Ling, my fellow classmate and friend, had a a terrible condition and has been hospitalized for over a month.错误文体（修改错误，润色相关句子，使文章美化）习题1 （难度：小）修改与润色What a interesting picture. A Western young man is sit at a table. The man ready to eat abowl of noodles. He is hold two forks like we Chinese held chopsticks. He try to pick upthe noodles and he is sweating a lot. When I saw the picture, I think it's a big interesting,for we Chinese considered that chopsticks are the tools for eat noodles .The man in thepicture is trying copy us, he is doing it the hard way. Maybe use one fork will do a betterjob. In my opinion, we not need to copy others1 ways of think. Sometimes a simpler way ofdoing things may be is a better way.习题2 （难度：中）In the picture, a tree is grow between two strange shape buildings. Although the factthat the two buildings are stopping the tree's growth, the tree is still grow around the edgeof the buildings and reach the open sky and sunlight.I think that a lot can learnt from the strong tree in the picture, not only the tree doesnot give up before difficulties; it also can handle this situation skillfully. We are all meetwith problems and challenges in our daily lives. Some gives up while some choose to adopta positive attitude and have the best solution. Those are the ones sure to success.If any difficulty tries to get in our way, we ought to shout, "HelL We won't give up!"and do our best to solve it. Only in this way we can taste the sweet aim and sunshine justlike the tree in the picture.习题3 （难度：小）This year's summer vacation was most enjoy. I spent fifteen days on helping my grandparents doing farm work in the countryside, in the village, I saw mountains and fields was covered with green plants. Sometimes I went to swimming in the river to the west of the village, the water of in the vicinage was quite clear. I kept a diary every day. I do farm work, and I help the children in the neighborhood with their lessons. AH of them have much interest in English. They could read and write good, but they not hardly understand simple English. So in the morning every day I spent about two hours to help them improve their listening and speak English. They all made great progress. Their parents all thought highly of me. I now realized that knowledge is very much needed in the countryside.习题4 （难度：大）My father is die, and my mother moved back to her hometown. We lived in a small house with her older sister, Marion. She was Kind hearted and open minded, and my aunt was the one played baseball with me, she took me to horseback riding, she took me to the father-son dinners and so on. She is believes that anything unusual was probably good for me and she decided getting a loan so that I could go to Africa to work a volunteer. When she was a young girl and she is no marriage, she didn't have her own children. Therefore, she was free to spend all her time to take care me. She made me believed that I could do anything with my life what I wanted, if I only tried hard enough.For more than sixty years, Aunt Marion didn't and still doesn't think of herself. Unless she forced to come up to the front, my aunt will not stand in the back in family photos, and she doesn't think that her efforts is not importantI honored my aunt, and she taught me the things what my father couldn't think. So every June for the past 40 years, in thankfulness which is bigger and bigger to my Aunt Marion, I've sent her a Father's Day card.改写下面句子1.We decided going out for picnic.2.it is early in the morning, and we set off the farm for visit.4.They showed us around the farm, and we had seen many kinds of plants.5.We saw a stream and there is green grass and beautiful flowers grow on both sides.6.when we got to the top of the hill, we were deeply surprised by the beautiful scenery.8.We saw bird is crying on the tree and butterflies were fly in the garden/fields.9.It is lunch time came, and we sat on the grassland, we are eating and drinking happily.11.I spent the whole afternoon with our cousins, and we are enjoying the fine scenery andfresh air in the country.12.we should learn the advanced science and technology, and we should learn thatAmericans love freedom and independence.-)巧用连接词要想使文章有整体性、连贯性，就要学会正确使用连接词表示罗列增加First, second, third, then / next, after that / next, finallyFor one thing ... for another..., On (the) one hand...on the other hand, Besides / what's more/ in addition / furthermore / moreover / another / also,Especially / In particular,表示时间顺序now, at present, recently, after, afterwards, after that, after a while, in a few days,at first, in the beginning, to begin with, later, next, finally, immediately, soon, suddenly, all of a sudden, at that moment, as soon as, the moment form now on, from then on, at the same time, meanwhile, till, not...until, before, after, when, while, as during表示命I释说明now, in addition, for example, for instance, in this case, moreover furthermore, in fact, actually表示转折关系but, however, while, though, or, otherwise, on the contrary, on the other hand, in contrast, despite, in spite of, even though, except (for), instead, of course, after all, 表示并列关系or, and, also, too, not only ... but also, as well as, both... and, either …or, neither ...nor 表示因果关系because, because of, since, now that, as, thanks to..., due to..., therefore, as a result (of), otherwise, so ••.that, such …that表不条件关系as (so) long as, on condition that, if, unless表木让步关系though, although, as, even if, even though, whether ...or..., however, whoever, whatever, whichever, wherever, whenever, no matter how (who, what, which, where, when, whom)表示举例for example, for instance, such as..., take... for example表示比较be similar to, similarly, the same as, in contrast, compared with (to)... just like Just as,表示目的for this reason,, for this purpose, so that, in order to, so as to,表木强调in deed, in fact, surely, certainly, no doubt, without any doubt, truly, obviously, above all, 表示概括归纳in a word, in short, in brief, on the whole, generally speaking, in my opinion, as far as I know, As we all know, as has been stated, as I have shown, finally, at last, in summary, in conclusion,修改作文答案习题1 Green Action in Our ClassApril 12 is memorable because our class had a meaningful experience on that day. In the morning, we bicycled to the suburbs to plant trees. Talking and laughing all the way. Upon arrival, we began to work immediately. Some were digging holes; some were carrying and planting young trees. Others were watering them. After getting work done, we put up a board reminding people to protect the trees. Before leaving we took some photos to record our green action. Seeing the lines of trees, we all had a sense of achievement. We fell it's our duty to protect and beautify our environment.习题2In the picture, a tree is placed between two strange shaped buildings. Despite the fact that the two buildings are blocking the tree's growth, the tree is still growing around the edge of the buildings in order to reach the open sky and sunlight.I think that a lot can be learnt from the strong- willed tree in the picture, not only does the tree not give up in the face of difficulties; it also manages to handle this annoying situation skillfully. We are all bound to meet with problems and challenges in our daily lives. Some give up while some choose to adopt a positive attitude and come up with the best solution. Those are the ones sure to succeed.If any difficulty tries to get in our way, we ought to shout, ”HelL We won't give up!” and do our best to solve it. Only in this way can we taste the sweet aim and sunshine just like the tree in the picture.习题3This year's summer vacation was most enjoyable. I spent fifteen days helping my grandparents doing farm work in the countryside, where I saw mountains and fields covered with green plants. Sometimes I went swimming in the river to the west of the village, the water in which was quite clear. I kept a diary every day. Besides doing farm work, I help the children in the neighborhood with their lessons. All of them showed much interest in English. They could read and write well, but they could hardly understand simple English. So every day in the morning I spent about two hours helping them improve their listening and spoken English. They all made great progress. Their parents all thought highly of me. I now realize that knowledge is very much needed in the countryside.习题4 （难度：大）After my father's death, my mother moved back to her hometown. We lived in a smallhouse with her older sister, Marion. Kind-hearted and open-minded, my aunt was the one who played baseball with me, who took me horseback riding, who took me to the father-son dinners and so on. Believing that anything unusual was probably good for me, she decided to get a loan so that I could go to Africa to work as a volunteer. As a young girl with no marriage, she didn't have her own children. Therefore, she was free to spend all her time taking care of me. She made me believe that I could do anything with my life that I wanted, if I only tried hard enough.For more than sixty years, Aunt Marion didn't and still doesn't think of herself. Unless she is forced to come up to the front, my aunt will stand in the back in family photos, and she doesn't think that her efforts have made much difference.I honored my aunt, who taught me the things my father couldn't. So every June for the past 40 years, in growing thankfulness to my Aunt Marion, Fve sent her a Father's Day card.改写句子1.We decided to go out for a picnic.2.Early in the morning, we set off for the farm for a visit.3.Having reached the farm, we were given a warm welcome.4.They showed us around the farm(We were shown around the farm) , where we saw many kinds ofplants.5.We caught sight of a stream with green grass and beautiful flowers on both sides.6.Once on the top of the hill/The moment we got to the top of the hill, we were deeplystruck/attracted by the beautiful scenery.7.After being divided into groups, we set to work at once.8.Birds were singing sweetly in the trees and butterflies were dancing gracefully in the garden/fields.9.When lunch time came, we sat on the grassland, eating and drinking happily.10.Three hours had passed before we knew it.11.I spent the whole afternoon with our cousins, enjoying the fine scenery and fresh air in the country.12.Apart from the advanced science and technology, we should learn that Americans love freedom andindependence.。