英文搞笑小故事_经典语句
英语幽默小故事(共8篇)
英语幽默小故事〔共8篇〕篇1：英语幽默小故事 Don't Pick Up the Money on the GroundAn economist professor and a student are walking down the street when they see a $20 bill lying on the sidewalk in front of them. The student goes to pick up the money but his professor stops him and tells him not to bother.Why not?If it were a real twenty-dollar bill, someone would have picked it up already.Everything that can be invented has been invented.别捡地上的钱一位经济学教授和一名学生正在大街上行走，这时他们看到前面的人行道上躺着一张20美元面值的钞票。
学生走过去准备捡，教授制止了他，告诉他别自寻烦恼。
“为什么不捡?”“假设那是一张真20美元钞票的话，早就有人捡走了。
”“该创造的都已经被创造出来了。
”篇2：英语幽默小故事 The Less You Know, the More Money You MakeTheorem: Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives.Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.Postulate 2: Time is Money.As every engineer knows, Power=Work/Time. Since Knowledge=Power, and Time=Money, we haveKnowledge=Work/Money. Solving for Money, we get: Money=Work/Knowledge.Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done.Conclusion: The less you know, the more money you make.知识越少挣钱越多定理：工程师和科学家永远应当比经济专家挣钱少。
简短的英语笑话带翻译摘抄
简短的英语笑话带翻译摘抄笑话(jokes)往往是指能引人发笑的谈话或故事。
作为文体,篇幅短小,故事情节简单而巧妙,往往出人意料,取得令人捧腹的艺术效果。
店铺整理了简短的英语笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!简短的英语笑话带翻译篇一Wow!That's a Big One!哇!那个真是大得吓人One day a tourist walked into a Texas tavern and ordered a shot of whiskey. The bartender puta big tumbler full of whiskey in front of him.某一天一位观光客走进一家德州酒店点了一杯威士忌，酒保竞给他一大杯的酒。
"What's this?" asked the tourist.“这是什么呢?”观光客问道。
"Why, it's a shot of whiskey! Don't you know that everything is big in Texas?"“怎么了，那是你点的酒，难道你不知道德州每样东西都大得吓人。
”Then, an armadillo ran past the door.那时刚好有一只穿山甲跑过酒店门口。
“What was that?" asked the tourist.“那是什么东西?’观光客又问。
"Why, that was a Texas cockroach. "“哦，那是只德州蟑螂!”By this time, the whiskey had gone to the tourist's bladder as well as his head,喝了酒，观光客感到腹胀头昏，and he asked the location of the bathroom.他问哪里有洗手间。
幽默简短的英语小故事
幽默简短的英语小故事幽默简短的英语小故事（精选16篇）在平时阅读幽默又简短的一些英语小故事，是可以帮助提高我们的英语水平的。
一起来看看店铺为大家整理幽默简短的英语小故事，欢迎大家阅读!幽默简短的英语小故事篇1The Old Cat：An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it.Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young."幽默简短的英语小故事篇2Everybody dreams of doing something important. As a boy Raymond dreamed of being a scientist,infact, he is a postman now.Raymon d is an active young man. He livesby the saying“If you can't live the life you love, love the life you live”He greets everyone with a big smileand afriendly“Hi, howare you?”And he really wants to know! It's hardto feel unhappy when we hear him whistling happily up and down the street.幽默简短的英语小故事篇3Not long after my sister's wedding，one of my father's colleagues and his wife dropped in to see Mom and Dad.Theguests had not been invited to the wedding, so when the woman said，”I'm sorry I didn't get over to t he church the other day，”Mom assumed she meant the church's Good Cheer Club Tea and Bazaar."I'rn glad you didn't.”Mom replied.”You never saw such a mob scene!""I thought I'd like to see how everyone was dressed，"the guest said."What did you wear?""Just m y old navy print and my oxfords,“said Mom，"and a good thing，too，as we cleared almost a thousand dollars. ""Did you take a collection?"the woman gasped.“"Oh, no，“said Mom，"you know how it is，a lot of people come just to look and you don't make a thing out of them，so we decided to charge admission at the door.”At this point Dad realized signals were crossed，and he suggested to Mom that she explain that my sister's wedding had been neither a mob scene nor a profit-making venture.幽默简短的英语小故事篇4A big一city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher claimed that the bull must have been hit by the train, and wanted o be paid the fair value of the bull.The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store. As soon as the rancher showed up, the attorney for the railroad pulled him aside and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking. After the rancher had signed the release and took the check，the young lawyer couldn’t resist gloating a little over his success，telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, oldman，but I put one over on you in there. I couldn’t have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn’t have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!”The old rancher replied，"Well，I’11 tell you，young Teller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that darned bull came home this morning.”幽默简短的英语小故事篇5One day, Robin Hood went hunting alone in the forest. He had told his men that if he should fall into any danger and could not escape he would blow his horn so that they might know and come to help him. When he was crossing a river by a long bridge he met a huge man at the middle.And neither of the two would give way to the other. Robin Hood got angry and put an arrow to his bow and made ready to shoot. The stranger said it was unfair for Robin Hood to shoot a man who had only a staff in his hand. Hearing this Robin Hood lay down his bow and pulled up a small tree and returned to the stranger.幽默简短的英语小故事篇6A farmer is wondering how many sheep he has in his field, so he asks his sheepdog to count them. The dog runs into the field, counts them, and then runs back to his master."So," says the farmer. "How many sheep were there?""40," replies the dog."How can there be 40?" exclaims the farmer. "I only bought 38!""I know," says the dog. "But I rounded them up."幽默简短的英语小故事篇7Many years afterreceivingmygraduatedegree, I returned tothe State University of New York at Binghamton as afacultymember. One day in a crowdedelevator, someone remarked on itsinefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a student.When the door finally opened, I felt acompassionatepaton my back, and turned to see an elderly nun smiling at me. "You'll get that degree, dear," shewhispered. "Perseverance is a virtue." 幽默简短的英语小故事篇8A newly married woman was sitting on a chair, looking vexed, when her husband came home. "What's up? Why do you look so troubled?" the husband asked. The woman replied, "I'm so sorry.I was ironing your new suit andburned a hole in your trousers." And the man said, "That's all right. I have another pair that is exactly the same.""Thank God you do. I used it to mend this pair," the wife responded.幽默简短的英语小故事篇9A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked if this was it. God said, "No you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live." Upon recovery the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, lip-suction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc.She even had someone come in and change her hair color, figuring since she had so much more time to live, she might as well make the most of it. She got out of the hospital after the last operation and while crossing the street was killed by an ambulance speeding to the hospital. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 Years? "God replied, "I didn't recognize you."幽默简短的英语小故事篇10The parents with their three-year-old son went to see film. When they walked into the cinema, the attendant said to them, “you’ll have to go out if your son cries. But we’ll refund you the tic kets.”About half an hour later, the husband asked his wife, “What do you think of the film?” “I’ve never seen such a boring film.” His wife answered. “It’s not worth seeing.” “I don’t think much of it, either.” The husband said. “Wake the child up and let him cry.”幽默简短的英语小故事篇11A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator.Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, "I should have brought my wife!"幽默简短的英语小故事篇12Mr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before ， so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr. Johnson was very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and Mr. Johnson boarded the plane.His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. Mr. Johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes.After a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, "Look at those people down there. They look as small as ants, don't they?""Those are ants," answered his friend. "We're still on the ground."幽默简短的英语小故事篇13A blind man was waiting to cross the road when his guide dog cocked its leg, then urinated on its owner. Calmly, the blind man reached into his pocket and took out a biscuit for the dog.A passerby who'd seen everything remarked: "That’s extremely tolerant of you, especially after what he just did.”"Not really，”came the reply. "I’m just finding out where his mouth is, so I can kick him in the nuts.”幽默简短的英语小故事篇14Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he re- quested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing. Five minutes later, Jan came run- ping up to him yelling, "Oscar! Oscar!I just saw someone driving off wit h your new Mercedes!”"Dear God! Did you try to stop him?""No,”she said，"I did better than that! I got the license plate number”幽默简短的英语小故事篇15A famous game theorist, having won the Clark prize, was set to give aseries of lectures at prestigious universities throughout the northeast. For thetask, he hired a car and driver to take him from place to place . With nothing else to do, the driver would sit in on the highlytechnical lectures. After several lectures, the driver commented to theeconomist, "You know, I've heard your lecture so much that I think I coulddeliver it myself." Theeconomist found this idea intriguing and decided toswitch places with him at his next lecture.The driver gave the talk flawlessly. However, after the lecture, some onein the audience asked him a rather technical question that the driver had noidea how to even begin to answer. The driver considered it for a moment, andthen replied, "That question is so easy, even my driver can answer it."幽默简短的英语小故事篇16The miserly millionaire ca lled a family conference, “ I’m placing a box of money in the attic,” he said.” When I die, I intend to grab it on my way up to heaven. See to it that no one touches it until it’s my time too go.”The family respected his wishes. After his death, the milli onaire’s wife looked in the attic. The box was still there. “ THE FOOL!” she said. ”I told him he should have put it in the basement.”。
英语笑话带翻译
英语笑话带翻译英语笑话带翻译篇一Its a fine sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fo*, out for a walk.这是一个阳光绚烂的晴朗日子，森林里一只小兔子坐在洞窟外，在打字机上敲敲打打。
这时一只散步的狐狸走了过来。
Fo*: What are you working on?狐狸：“你在做什么呢?”Rabbit: My thesis.兔子：“写我的论文。
”Fo*: Hmmm. Whats it about?狐狸：“唔，是关于什么的?”Rabbit: Oh, Im writing about how rabbits eat fo*es.兔子：“噢，我在写兔子是怎样吃掉狐狸的。
”Fo*: Thats ridiculous! Any fool knows that rabbits dont eat fo*es.狐狸：“你太搞笑了吧!谁都知道兔子不吃狐狸。
”Rabbit: Sure they do, and I can prove it. Come with me.兔子：“兔子当然吃，我能证明的。
跟我来。
”They both disappear into the rabbits burrow. After a few minutes, the rabbit returns, alone, to his typewriter and resumes typing.它们一起消逝在兔子的洞窟里，几分钟后只有兔子独自出来了。
它回到打字机前继续敲打。
Soon, a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.很快，一只狼走了过来，停下看着兔子奋力工作。
关于简短的经典英文笑话带翻译
关于简短的经典英文笑话带翻译关于简短的经典英文笑话带翻译篇1Three doctor are in the duck blind and bird flies overhead.三名医生藏身在观察野鸭的隐蔽处，有一只鸟从头上飞过。
The general practitioner looks at it and says,一般家庭医生看着他说："Looks like a duck,flies like a duck,it's probably a duck,"“看起来像-只鸭子，飞起来像一只鸭子……它可能是一只鸭子〞。
shoots at it but misses and the bird flies aay.就对着它射击，但是没射中，这只鸟飞走了。
The ne某t bird flies overhead,第二只鸟从头上飞过。
and the pathologist looks at it,then looks through the pages of a bird manual,and says,病理学家看着它，然后仔细翻翻阅好几页的野鸟手册说"Hmmmm,green wings,yellow bill,quacking sound,might be a duck."“嗯……绿色的翅膀，黄色的鸟嘴，嘎嘎的叫声……可能是一只鸭子。
〞 He arises his gun to shoot it,but the bird is long gone.他举起他的枪来射它，但是这兵鸟飞一了好远。
A third bird flies over .第三只鸟从头上飞过。
The surgeon raises his gun and shoots almost withoutlooking,brings the bird down,and turnsto the patholoogist and says, 外科医生举起他的松，看都不看就射击，把鸟击落后就转向病理学家说： "Go see if that was a duck."“你去看看那是不是一只鸭子。
英语幽默小故事10篇
英语幽默小故事10篇在繁忙的学习工作中，阅读一些幽默笑话是我们放松心情的好方式。
下面店铺为大家带来英语幽默小故事共10篇，希望大家喜欢!Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".幽默故事翻译：中间战术三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。
旁观者等着瞧好戏。
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!”左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。
During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visitCaptain Humphreys.""Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said."Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister.""I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"幽默故事翻译：在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。
英语小笑话段子
英语小笑话段子话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。
小编精心收集了短篇英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习!短篇英语笑话篇1A Woman's Answer女人的回答A husband said to his wife,一位丈夫对妻子说："Why did God create women to be beautiful but foolish?"“为什么上帝把女人创造得如此美丽却又愚蠢呢?”"Well," his wife answered at once.“噢，”他的妻子立刻回答道，"The reason is very simple.“原因很简单。
God made us beautiful so men would love us;上帝使我们如此美丽，男人才会爱我们。
God made us foolish so we would marry them."上帝使我们如此愚蠢，我们才会嫁给他们。
”短篇英语笑话篇2你知道我是谁吗?It was the final examination for a Biology course at a university.这是一所大学的生物课期末考试。
It was designed to weed out some students.考试旨在淘汰部分学生。
The examination was two hours long.考试时间为两小时。
After the exam booklets were provided, the professor told the class，分发试题册后，教授对学生们说，that any exam booklet that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be acceptedand the student would fail.两小时结束后任何没交的试题册他都不再接收，没交的学生一律不及格。
英语幽默小故事6篇
1、Good use of cry 哭的妙用The parents with their three-year-old son went to see film.When they walked into the cinema, the attendant said to them,“you’ll have to go out if your son cries. But we’ll refundyou the tickets.” About half an hour later, the husbandasked his wife, “What do you think of the film?”“I’ve never seen such a boring film.” His wife answered.“It’s not worth seeing.”“I don’t think much of it, either.” The husband said.“Wake the child up and let him cry.”一对夫妇带着他们3岁的儿子去看电影。
进电影院时，服务员对他们说：“如果你们的儿子哭了，你们就得出去。
不过我们会给你们退票的。
”大约半个小时以后，丈夫对妻子说：“你觉得这电影怎么样？”“我从没看过这么没劲的电影。
”妻子回答说，“真不值得看。
”“我也不喜欢看。
”丈夫说：“叫醒孩子，让他哭。
”2、What a Smart Wife家有笨妻A newly married woman was sitting on a chair,looking vexed, when her husband came home."What's up? Why do you look so troubled?"the husband asked. The woman replied,"I'm so sorry. I was ironing your new suit andburned a hole in your trousers." And the man said,"That's all right. I have another pair that is exactly the same.""Thank God you do. I used it to mend this pair,"the wife responded.有一个刚结婚的太太，坐在椅子那边，看起来很懊恼，她先生回家看到她这个样子，就问：‘嗨，你怎么啦？为什么看起来这么懊恼呢？’太太说：‘很抱歉，你那件新做的西装裤被我烫坏了，烫成一个洞了。
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英文搞笑小故事1.First FlightMr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before and he had read a lot about air accidents, so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr. Johnson was very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and Mr. Johnson boarded the plane.His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. Mr. Johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes.After a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, "Look at those people down there. They look as small as ants, don't they?" "Those are ants," answered his friend. "We're still on the ground."第一次坐飞机约翰逊先生从前未乘过飞机,他读过许多关于飞行事故的报道.所以,有一天一位朋友邀请他乘自己的小飞机飞行时,约翰逊先生非1 / 9常担心,不敢接受.不过,由于朋友不断保证说飞行是很安全的,约翰逊先生终于被说服了,登上了飞机.他的朋友启动引擎开始在机场跑道上滑行.约翰逊先生听说飞行中最危险的是起飞与降落,所以他吓得紧闭双眼.过了一两分钟,他睁开双眼朝窗外望去,接着对朋友说道：“看下面那些人,他们看起来就象蚂蚁一样小,是不是?”“那些就是蚂蚁,”他的朋友答道,“我们还在地面上.”2.A Nail Or A Fly?An old gentleman whose eyesight was failing came to stay in a hotel room with a bottle of wine in each hand. On the wall there was a fly which he took for a nail. So the moment he hung them on, the bottles fell broken and the wine spilt all over the floor. When a waitress discovered what had happened, she showed deep sympathy for him and decided to do him a favour. So the next morning when he was out taking a walk in the roof garden, she hammered a nail exactly where the fly had stayed.Now the old man entered his room. The smell of the spilt wine reminded him of the accident. When he looked up at the wall, he found the fly was there again! He walked to it carefully adn slapped it with all his strength. On hearing a loud cry, the 2 / 9kind-hearted waitress rushed in. To her great surprise, the poor old man was there sitting on the floor, his teeth clenched and his right hand bleeding!钉子还是苍蝇?一位视力正在衰退的老绅士住进了一家旅馆的客房.他双手各拿一瓶酒.在墙上有只苍蝇,他误以为是枚钉子.他把两只瓶子朝上一挂,瓶子掉下来摔碎了,酒洒了一地.一个女服务员发现发生的事情以后,对他深表同情,决定帮他个忙.于是,第二天早上他到楼顶花园散步时,她把一枚钉子钉在了苍蝇停过的地方.这里,老人回到了房里.倒洒的酒味让他想起了那件事.他抬头往墙上一看,苍蝇又停在了那儿!他轻手轻脚地走近,使尽全力拍了一掌.听到一声大叫,好心的女服务员冲进房来.让她大为吃惊的是,可怜的老头正坐在地板上,牙关紧咬,右手滴血不止.3.Chaude and ColdA patron in Montreal cafe turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded. "This is an outrage," he complained. "The faucet marked C gave me boiling water.""But, Monsieur, C stands for chaude - French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal.""Wait a minute," roared the patron. "The other tap is also 3 / 9marked C.""Of course," said the manager, "It stands for cold. After all, Montreal is a bilingual city."热与冷蒙特利尔自助餐厅的一位顾客拧开盥洗室的龙头,结果被水烫伤了.“这太可恶了,”他抱怨道,“标着C的龙头流出的是开水.”“可是,先生,C代表Chaude-法语里代表‘热’.如果您居住在蒙特利尔的话就得知道这一点.”“等等,”那位顾客咆哮一声,“另外一个龙头同样标的是C.”“当然,”经理说道：“它代表冷.毕竟,蒙特利尔是个双语城市.”4.Imitate BirdsA man tried to get a job in a stage show. "What can you do?" asked the producer."Imitate birds," the man said."Are you kidding?" answered the producer, "People like that are a dime a dozen.""Well, I guess that's that." said the actor, as he spread his arms and flew out the window.模仿鸟儿一个人想在一个舞台剧中找份工作.“你能干什么呢?”负责人问.4 / 9“模仿鸟儿,”那人说.“你在开玩笑吧?”负责人答道,“那样的人一毛钱可以找一打.”“噢,那就算了.”那名演员说着,展开翅膀,飞出了窗口.5.How Did You Ever Get HereOne winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. "It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two."The boss eyed him suspiciously. "Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever get here?""I finally gave up," he said, "and started for home."你是怎样来的?一个冬天的早晨,一名雇员解释他为什么迟到了四十五分钟才起来上班.“外面太滑了,我每向前迈一步,就要向后退两步.”老板狐疑地看着他.“噢,是吗?那你是怎样到这里来的?”“后来我决定放弃,”他说,“然后我就往家里走.”6.Keep the ChangeSelling secondhand books at our church bazaar, I got into an argument with a prospective customer. He was interested in buying The Pocket Book of Ogden Nash but claimed it was overpriced at 35 cents. Other paperbacks were selling for ten or 15 cents each.5 / 9I pointed out that the book was in good condition. Nash wasa fun poet, and it was for a good cause. He said it was a matter of principle. Ultimately, I agreed to sell him the book for 15 cents. Triumphant, he paid with a $10 bill. "Keep the change," he said.零钱不用找了在教堂的义卖市上卖旧书时,我与一名准备买东西的顾客发生了一场争论.他对购买袖珍奥金.纳什集颇感兴趣,但是说它要三十五美分开价过高.其它的平装书每本才卖十或十五美分.我指出这本书保存状况颇好,纳什是个有趣的诗人,这个要价是合理的.他说这是个原则问题.最终,我同意以十五美分的价格将这本书卖给他.他得意洋洋,拿出一张十美元的票子付帐.“零钱不用找了.”他说.7.Midway TacticsThree competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that 6 / 9simply stated, "ENTRANCE".中间战术三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条林荫道上租用了毗邻的店铺.旁观者等着瞧好戏.右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌,上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!”左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌,声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌,上面只简单地写着：“入口处”.8.Best RewardA naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand. The officer asked how he could reward him."The best way, sir," said the deck hand, "is to say nothing about it. If the other fellows knew I'd pulled you out, they'd chuck me in."最好的奖赏一名海军军官从甲板上掉入海中.他被一名甲板水手救起.这位军官问如何都能酬谢他.“最好的办法,长官,”这名水手说,“是别声张这事.如果其他人知道我救了您,他们会把我扔下去的.”9.A MistakeAn Amercian, a Scot and a Canadian were killed in a car7 / 9accident. They arrived at the gates of heaven, where a flustered St. Peterexplained that there had been a mistake. "Give me $500 each," he said, "and I'll return you to earth as if the whole thing never happened.""Done!" said the American. Instantly, he found himself standing unhurt near the scene."Where are the others?" asked a medic."Last I knew," said the American, "the Scot was huggling price, and the Canadian was arguing that his government should pay."搞错了一位美国人,一位英格兰人和一位加拿大人在一场车祸中丧生.他们到达天堂的门口.在那里,醉醺醺的圣彼德解释说是搞错了.“每人给我五百美元,”他说,“我将把你们送回人间,就象什么都没有发生过一样.”“成交!”美国人说.立刻,他发现自己毫不损伤地站在现场附近.“其他人在哪儿?”一名医生问道.“我离开之前,”那名美国人说,“我看见英格兰人正在砍价,而那名加拿大人正在分辩说应该由他的政府来出这笔钱.”10.ImitationA schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach. "Well,8 / 9sit down and eat your tea," said his mother. "Your stomach's hurting because it's empty. It'll be all right when you've got something in it."Shortly afterwards Dad come in from the office, complaining of a headache."That's because it's empty," said his bright son. "You'd be all right if you had something in it."模仿一个男孩放学回家时,觉得肚子痛.“来,坐下,吃点点心,”妈妈说,“你肚子痛是因为肚子是空的.吃点东西就会好的.”一会儿,男孩的爸爸下班回家了,说是头痛.“你头痛是因为你的脑袋是空的,”他那聪明的儿子说,“里面装点东西,就会好的.”9 / 9。