关于简短爆笑英文笑话大全
20个英语笑话爆笑超短【英语翻译笑话】[修改版]
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1.we two who and who?咱俩谁跟谁阿2.how are you ? how old are you?怎么是你,怎么老是你?3.you don"t bird me,i don"t bird you你不鸟我,我也不鸟你4.you have seed i will give you some color to see see,pothers !together up !你有种,我要给你点颜色瞧瞧,兄弟们,一起上!5.hello everybody!if you have something to say,then say!if you have nothing to say,go home!! 有事起奏,无事退朝6.you me you me彼此彼此7.you give me stop!!你给我站住!8.know is know noknow is noknow知之为知之,不知为不知...9.watch sister表妹10.dragon born dragon,chicken born chicken,mouse" son can make hole!!龙生龙,凤生凤,老鼠的儿子大地洞11.american chinese not enough美中不足12.one car e one car go ,two car pengpeng,people die车祸现场描述13.heart flower angry open心花怒放14.go past no mistake past走过路过,不要错过15.小明:i am sorry!老外:i am sorry too!小明:i am sorry three!老外:what are you sorry for?小明:i am sorry five!16.if you want money,i have no;if you want life,i have one!要钱没有,要命一条17.i call li old big. toyear 25.我叫李老大,今年25。
英语幽默笑话

英语幽默笑话英语幽默笑话(精选15篇) 在繁忙的学习⼯作中,适时读⼀些幽默笑话,放松⾃⼰,劳逸结合⼗分重要。
下⾯是⼩编为你整理的⼏则英语幽默精彩段⼦,让你笑到停不下来 英语幽默笑话篇1 ⼀、我是单⾝汉 Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt.A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms.Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked."Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor." 杰克骑车摔伤,得住院治疗.⼀位年轻美貌的护⼠拿着表格让填.仞杰克填好递上表格"还有什么漏填的?"护⼠问."有!"杰克想了想说,"我是个单⾝汉." ⼆、死于肝癌的⼈100%都吃饭 Wife:You see.According to te statistics on the paper 80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcoho. Husband:It's okey.To my investigation,all Thespeopleeat meals. 妻⼦:你看这张报纸,据统计,死于肝癌的⼈80%都是喝酒的. 丈夫:那有什么?据我调查,死于肝癌的⼈100%都吃饭的. 三、位置上的冰激凌 "Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine." "Yours?Can you prove it?" "Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it." "请原谅,你占了我的位置." "你的位置?你能征明这点吗?" "能,我在位置上放了杯冰激凌." 四、别⽆选择 One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me?" Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice?" ⼀天,夏娃问亚当:"你当真爱我吗?" 亚当⽆可奈何地回答:"我还有的选择吗?" 五、两个男孩 Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says,"Why are you arguing?" One boy answers,"We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie." "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher,"When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was." The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher. 当⽼师⾛进教室时,两个男孩在争论. ⽼师是说:你们在争论什么? ⼀个男孩回答:‘我们捡到⼀张10块,我们决定把它给⼀个说最⼤的谎的⼈.’ ‘你们应该觉得羞耻’⽼师说,‘当我像你们那么⼤的时候,我连什么是说谎都不知道.’ 两个男孩把钱给了那个⽼师. 六、两只鸟 Teacher:Here are two birds,one is a swallow,the other is sparrow.Now who can tell us which is which? Student:I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher:Please tell us. Student:The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. ⽼师:这⼉有两只鸟,⼀只是⿇雀.谁能指出哪只是燕⼦,哪只是⿇雀吗? 学⽣:我指不出,但我知道答案. ⽼师:请说说看. 学⽣:燕⼦旁边的`就是⿇雀,⿇雀旁边的就是燕⼦. 七、鱼⽹ "Can you tell me what fish net is made,Ann?" "A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl. "你能告诉我鱼⽹是什么做的吗," ⽼师发问道. "把许多⼩孔⽤绳⼦栓在⼀起就成了鱼⽹了." ⼩⼥孩回答道. ⼋、他赢了 Tommy:How is your little brother,Johnny?Johnny:He is ill in bed.He hurt himself. Tommy:That's too bad.How did that happen? Johnny:We played who could lean furthest out of the window,and he won. 汤姆:约翰尼,你⼩弟弟好吗? 约翰尼:他害病卧床了.他受了伤. 汤姆:真糟糕,怎么回事⼉? 约翰尼:我们做游戏,看谁能把⾝⼦探出窗外最远,他赢了. 选我吧 英语幽默笑话篇2 ⼼不在焉的⽼师 An Absent Minded ProfessorA notoriously absentminded professor was one day observed walking along the street withone foot continually in the gutter,the other on the pavement. A pupil meeting him said: “Good evening,professor.How are you? “Well,” answered the professor,“I thought I was all right when I left home,but now I don't know what's the matter with me.I've been limping for the last half hour.” 有⼀天,⼈们看见⼀个有名的⼼不在焉的⽼师在路上⾛,他的⼀只脚⼀直踏在街沟⾥,另⼀只脚踩在⼈⾏道上。
简短的英文小笑话大全_笑话大全爆笑简短

简短的英文小笑话大全_笑话大全爆笑简短简短的英文小笑话篇1ThankaLotSarge多谢了,班长一位班长刚完成部队晨间检查。
"BeforeIdimiyou,there'jutoneannouncement.PrivateKowalki,your motheridead.Dimied."“解散之前,有件事要宣布一下,二等兵卡瓦斯基,你母亲已经过世了。
解散!”Theoldierwadevatated,ofcoure,andthelieutenantwaappalledatthe ergeant'heartlene.当然,那位士兵遭受很大的打击,而排长也讶异于班长的冷酷无情。
“看在老天的份分上,班长,下次你要告诉弟兄们有亲人死亡时,请多用点技巧,委婉一些,”排长说道。
Afewweeklater,orrytoay,theergeanthadanotheropportunity.几个礼拜之后,很不幸那位班长又有一次机会。
Lininguphitroop,heordered,"Allofyouwhoemotheritillalive,tepf orward.Notyou,Johnon."集合了部队,他下口令道:“所有妈妈尚健在的,前进一步。
你,约翰逊,除外。
”简短的英文小笑话篇2AndYouThinkYou'veGotProblem你认为你有问题吗"Boy,haveIgotproblem!"themanaidtothepychiatrit.“乖乖,我真的有毛病了!”一位老兄对精神病医生说道。
"Goaheadandtellmeaboutthem"“继续说,告诉我你的问题。
”"Well,totartwith,I'vegotanetateinthecountry,threeMercedeanda lu某uryyacht."“喔,是这样的,我在乡下有房地产,另外还有三辆奔驰和一艘豪华游艇。
经典英语小笑话大全爆笑

经典英语小笑话大全爆笑善讲笑活,很受各种社交场台的欢迎,因为人们喜欢与机敏活泼、幽默风趣的人交往。
下面是店铺带来的经典爆笑英语小笑话,欢迎阅读! 经典爆笑英语小笑话篇一寻找出纳员 Looking for a CashierThere was a banker who attended a dinner party, and a friend said to him, "Oh! I heard that your bank is looking for a cashier," and the banker said "Yes, yes, we are, we are." And then the friend said, "But I thought you just hired one a few weeks ago."So the banker replied, "Yes, yes, indeed, we did. That's the one we're looking for now."So the friend said, "Can you describe him? What does he look like?" And the banker replied, "Well, he is about five feet tall and (we're about) one hundred thousand dollars short."晚宴上,有位银行家坐在那儿,他的朋友问他:“我听说你们银行在找一位出纳,是吗?”银行家回答:“是的,我们是在找。
”朋友说:“不过你们几个礼拜以前不是已经请到一个人了吗?”银行家说:“我们确实是雇用了一个人,而我们现在就是在找这个人。
英语幽默笑话(优秀10篇)

英语幽默笑话(优秀10篇)英国人有他们独特的英式幽默,他们流传的英语冷笑话让人会心一笑,今天,小编给同学们收集、整理了几则特别有趣的英语冷笑话,希望大家能开心开心,一起来看看吧! 篇一一、The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.It#39;s all right, said a gentleman, don#39;t be afraid. Don#39;t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don#39;t bite?Ah, yes, answered the little girl. I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系,”一位先生说,“不用害怕,你知道这条谚语吗:吠狗不咬人。
;”“啊,我是知道,可是狗也知道吗?”二、One student to another: How are your English lessons coming along?Fine. I used to be one who couldn#39;t understand the English men, and now it#39;s the English men who can#39;t understand me.一位学生对另一位说:“你的英语最近学的怎么样?”“很好,我过去不懂英国人说话,可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。
”三、An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:#39; How much this stuff?#39;#39;Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.#39;The lady said, #39;It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.#39;#39;I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.#39;#39;It is still too much,#39; replie()d the old lady, #39;give it to me for five.#39;一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。
英语搞笑笑话6篇

英语搞笑笑话6篇幽默寓于笑话之中,它是笑话的精料,智慧之所在。
笑话是幽默的载体,一个成功的笑话能流传千古。
下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话,欢迎大家阅读!英语搞笑笑话一:How can I get into heaven 我怎么才能上天堂"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the poor, would I get into heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday school class."No!" the children all answered."If I cleaned the church everyday, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"Again, the answer was, "No!""Well, " I continued, "then how can I get into heaven?"A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"“如果我把房子和车卖了,在车库举行义卖, 并把所有的钱给穷人,我能进天堂吗?”我问主日学校的孩子。
孩子们齐声回答:“不能!”“那如果我每天都打扫教堂,给院子的草坪割草,并且把东西都收拾得干净整洁,我会上天堂吗?”回答还是:“不能!”“好吧,”我继续问, “那我要怎样才能升天堂呢?”一个五岁的男孩儿叫道:“你得死了才行!”英语搞笑笑话二:I Want Her to go NutsMrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.""But you're not wearing any of those things.""I know," said Mrs. Flinders." It's in case I should die beforemy husband. I'm sure he'd remarry right away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry."福林德斯夫人决定让人给她画肖像。
十个英语笑话爆笑超短

十个英语笑话爆笑超短1、What is the difference between a man and E.T.? E.T. phoned home2、"What is the thinnest book in the world? ""What men know about women."""3、"苦命的salesman An insect repellent salesman tried to sell his product to a farmer. He said he wasn""t interested because he hadn""t seen any bugs or insects on his farm for years. The salesman indicated he had a wife and four kids and really needed the money. The......"4、"运动世家A German, Englishman and American are traveling ona train. They get bored and start telling each other about their families. The German says I have 4 kids, one more and they""ll make a basketball team. The Englishman says huh!Thats nothing, I have 10 boys,&nbs......"5、"FLOWERS It means that... You love the beauty of nature, the scent of flowers and appreciate this timeless romantic gesture. OR You get some twisted joy out of watching vegetation wither and die."6、"Revealing Gift Test Which gift would you like? To determine your personality, pick the gift you""d most like to receive."7、"A SWEET POEM It means that... You""re a hopeless romantic, a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the writtenword. OR You""re used to cheap gifts and like to pass yourself off as a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the w......"8、"A married couple on the farm are visited by an alien couple. The alien couple asked the human couple if they would like to swap partners for sex.They agree, the human woman and alien man are together. She says, ""You have a small penis!""The alien man replies, ""pull my ears!""......A man enters a barber shop for a shave.While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problem he has getting a close shave around his cheeks.""I have just the thing,"" says the barber, taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. ""Just place this between your cheek and gum.""......"9、"A man was walking along the street when he saw a ladder going into the clouds. As any of us would do, he climbed the ladder. He reached a cloud, upon which sat a rather plump and very ugly woman. ""Screw me or climb the ladder to success,"" she said......."10、"同学是某偏远地区的,英语发音一直不标准,老师英文也是发不准,所以学生更是一口地道的土腔英语。
英语笑话带翻译爆笑

你怎么称运用了音近字的幽默效果,让人在语言的玩味中得到欢乐。
通过学习这些英语笑话,不仅可以轻松缓解学习压力,还能够提升我们对英语语言的敏感度、培养我们的幽默感。因此,学习英语笑话是非常有趣的一种学习方式。希望大家在学习英语的过程中可以多多尝试,感受不一样的英语魅力。
英语笑话带翻译爆笑
笑话是人们生活中不可或缺的一部分,它可以让人放松心情,快乐心情。而在学习英语的过程中,学习一些英语笑话不仅可以帮助我们更好地理解语言,还能增加学习的乐趣。下面就给大家介绍一些经典的英语笑话,以及它们的中文翻译,一起来感受一下英语幽默的魅力吧!
1. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
4. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.
为什么骷髅不互相打架?
它们没有胆量。
这个笑话利用了“guts”(胆量)和“guts”(内脏)的双关语,十分巧妙地将内脏和勇气联系在了一起,给人一种突如其来的幽默感。
5. What do you call fake spaghetti?
Because it was two-tired!
为什么自行车站不起来?
因为它两个轮胎都平了!
这个笑话使用了双关语,将“tired”(疲倦的)和“tired”(轮胎瘪了)进行了巧妙的结合。这样的笑话不仅能够让人忍俊不禁,还能让学习者在欣赏笑话的同时加深对于英语语言的理解。
2. What did one wall say to the other wall?
“I’ll meet you at the corner.”
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关于简短爆笑英文笑话大全笑话作为民间俗文学的一种重要体裁,具有深厚的民族文化内涵。
本文是关于简短爆笑英文笑话,希望对大家有帮助!Here are some pretty solid reasons why alcohol should be served at work... It's an incentive to show up.It leads to more honest communications.It reduces complaints about low pay.Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.It encourages car pooling.Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.It makes fellow employees look better.It makes the cafeteria food taste better.Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar. It makes everyone more open with their ideas.Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break.Increases the chance of seeing your boss naked.Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.Sitting "bare ass" on the copy machine will no longer be seen as "gross."Not having to worry about your wife being mad when you come home wasted - its your job!Any sick days taken would be completely genuine.you can take longer and more frequent bathroom breaks.A boy was meeting his girlfriend's parents for the first time for dinner. After dinner, his girlfriend and her mother left the room to do the dishes, leaving him with the father and the dog Duke, who was sitting underneath the boy's chair. Unfortunately, it was a large dinner and he really had to fart. He stealthily let out a quiet, but audible, fart."Duke!" the dad yelled."This is great!" the boy thought. "He thinks the dog is farting!" So helet out another one."Duke!" the father barked. The boy thought he was homefree so he let everything out at once in a really loud and smelly fart."Duke! Get out of there before the boy sh*ts on you!"The other day, my friends and I went to this Ladies Night Club. One of the girls wanted to impress us, so she pulled out a $10 bill. The dancer came over to us, and my friend licked the $10 and stuck it on his butt.Not to be outdone, my other friend pulled out a $50 bill. She called the guy back over, licked the $50 bill and stuck it on his other butt cheek.Now the attention was focused on me. What could I do to top that?I got out my wallet and thought for a minute. Then the banker in me took over. I got my ATM card... Swiped it down his CRACK... Grabbed the 60 Bucks... And went Home!!!A couple never could get good sex because their boy always used to either knock the room's door where they're having sex or suddenly come in. So thenext day..the father told his child to go out in the balcony and see the what all was happening in the neighbourhood, so that the guy could have sex. So the little kid went outside in the balcony and started reporting all the happenings in the neighbourhood. He started, "Drew's doing his barbie dance. The Jacksons are having their barbeque in the backyard. Paula is cleaning her pink Porche. The Svensons are having good sex." Shocked by this reply...the guy shouted back to his boy.."how the hell did you know that?" and the kid replied .." 'coz their kid too is observing the neighbourhooh from the balcony.A rich businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law."Welcome to the family," said the man. "I'm so happy, I'm making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn the operations."The son-in-law interrupted. "Oh, um, I actually hate factories. Can't stand the noise."The father-in-law said, "Well, then you'll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations.""I hate office work, too" said the son-on-law. "I can't stand being stuck behind a desk all day.""Wait a minute," said the father-in-law. "I just made you half-owner of a moneymaking organization, but you don't like factories and won't work in a office. What am I going to do with you?""Easy," said the young man. "Buy me out."感谢您的阅读,祝您生活愉快。