ted演讲：如何成为一个更好的交谈者(中英对照)

TED演讲：如何成为一个更好的交谈者？（中英对照）

Celeste Headlee 是一个靠交谈吃饭的人，她的工作是电台主持人。在几十年的工作中，她学到了很多沟通技巧，同时也发现居然有如此多的人真的很不会聊天。

下面是她在TED 上分享的10 条提高谈话质量的方法。全是干货，来一起学习：【视频请在wifi情况下观看，文字为中英对照】如何成为一个更好的交谈者格鲁吉亚公共广播节目主持人：Celeste Headlee

首先，我想让大家举手示意一下，有多少人曾经在Facebook 上拉黑过好友，因为他们发表过关于政治，宗教，儿童权益，或者食物等不恰当的言论，有多少人至少有一个不想见的人，因为你就是不想和对方说话？

All right, I want to see a show of hands how many of you have unfriended someone on Facebook because they said something offensive about politics or religion, childcare, food? And how many of you know at least one person that you avoid because you just don’t want to talk to them?

要知道，在过去想要一段礼貌的交谈我们只要遵循亨利﹒希金斯在《窈窕淑女》中的忠告，只谈论天气和你的健康状况就行了。但这些年随着气候变化以及反对疫苗运动的开展——这招不怎么管用了。

因此，在我们生活的这个世界，这个每一次交谈都有可能发展为争论的世界，政客无法彼此交谈。甚至为那些鸡毛蒜皮的事情，都有人群情绪激昂地赞成或者反对，这太不正常了。皮尤研究中心对一万名美国成年人做了一次调查，发现此刻我们的偏激程度，我们立场鲜明的程度，比历史上任何时期都要高。

You know, it used to be that in order to have a polite conversation, we just had to follow the advice of Henry Higgins in “My Fair Lady”: Stick to the weather and your health. But these days, with climate change and anti-vaxxing, those subjects—are not safe either.

So this world that we live in, this world in which every conversation has the potential to devolve into an argument, where our politicians can’t speak to one another, and where even the most trivial of issues have someone fighting both passionately for it and against it, it’s not normal.

Pew Research did a study of 10,000 American adults, and they found that at this moment, we are more polarized; we are more divided than we ever have been in history.

我们更不倾向于妥协，这意味着我们没有倾听彼此。我们做的各种决定，选择生活在何处，与谁结婚甚至和谁交朋友，都只基于我们已有的信念。再重复一遍，这只说明我们没有

倾诉彼此。

交谈需要平静讲述和倾听，而不知怎么的，我们却偏偏失去了这种平衡。技术进步是部分原因，比如智能手机，现在就在你们手里，或者就在旁边，随手就能拿到。

We are less likely to compromise, which means we’re not listening to each other. And we make decisions about where to live, who to marry and even who our friends are going to be based on what we already believe. Again, that means we’re not listening to each other.

A conversation requires a balance between talking and listing, and somewhere along the way, we lost that balance. Now, part of that is due to technology. The smartphones that you all either have in your hands or close enough that you could grab them really quickly.

根据皮尤的研究，大约三分之一的美国青少年每天发送超过一百条短信。而这中间很多人，几乎是所有人，更倾向于给朋友发短信，而不是面对面的交谈。

《大西洋》杂志等过一篇很棒的文章，作者是高中教室保罗﹒巴恩维尔。他给自己的学生一项交流任务，希望教会他们如何不借助笔记针对某一话题发表演讲。然后他说：“我开始意识到…我开始意识到交流能力，可能是最被我们忽视的，没有好好教授的技能。孩子每天花费数小时通过屏幕接触创

意和其他伙伴，但很少有机会去发觉自己的人际交往技能。”这听起来很好笑，但我们必须问问自己：“21世纪，有什么技能会比维持一段连贯、自信的谈话更为重要？”According to the Pew Research, About a third of American teenagers send more than a hundred texts a day. And many of them, almost most of them, are more likely to text their friends than they are to talk to them face to face.

There’s this great piece in The Atlantic. It was written by a high school teacher named Paul Barnwell. And he gave his kids a communication project. He wanted to teach them how to speak on a specific subject without using notes. And he said this:” I came to realize…”“I came to realize that conversational competence might be the single most overlooked skill we fail to teach. Kids spend hours each day engaging with ideas and each other through screens, but rarely do they have an opportunity to hone their interpersonal communications skills.

It might sound like a funny question, but we have to ask ourselves. Is there any 21st-century skill more important than being able to sustain coherent, confident conversation?”

现在，我的职业就是跟别人谈话。诺贝尔奖获得者、卡车司