课前五分钟智力趣味幽默星沙英语网
课前三分钟关于课前三分钟英语笑话
课前三分钟关于课前三分钟英语笑话关于课前三分钟英语笑话关于课前三分钟英语笑话关于课前三分钟英语笑话：Shoulda Said This guy walks into a bar with his golden retriever. “Hey, can I get a drink on the house if my dog talks for you“ "Dogs can"t talk, pal. But if you can prove to me yours does, I"ll give you a drink. If not, I get to kick your ass." "Okay," says the guy. He turns to his dog. "Okay fella. Tell me -- what is on top of your doghouse" "Roof!" The man turns and smiles at the bartender. "THAT ain"t talking! Any dog can bark!" "Okay boy. Tell me -- how does sandpaper feel" "Ruff!" "What the hell are you tryin" to pull, mister" "Okay, okay," says the man. "One more question please. Okay buddy, tell me -- who is the greatest ball player who ever lived" "Ruth." The bartender beats the hell out of the guy and throws onto the sidewalk outside of the bar, then throws the dog out next to him. The dog stands up and looks at the guy. "Geez. D"ya think I shoulda said DiMaggio" 关于课前三分钟英语笑话：A Second Opinion A man runs into the vet"s office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is dead. The man, clearly agitated and not willing to accept this, demands a second opinion. The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat and puts the cat down next to the dog"s body. The cat sniffs the body, walks from head to tail poking and sniffing the dog"s body and finally looks at the vet and meows. The vet looks at the man and says, "I"m sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead too."The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead. The vetbrings in a black Labrador. The lab sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, and finally looks at the vet and barks. The vet looks at the man and says, "I"m sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead too." The man, finally resigned to the diagnosis, thanks the vet and asks how much he owes. The vet answers, "$650." "$650 to tell me my dog is dead" exclaimed the man... "Well," the vet replies, "I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis. The additional $600 was for the cat scan and lab tests." 关于课前三分钟英语笑话：Shoulda Said This guy walks into a bar with his golden retriever. "Hey, can I get a drink on the house if my dog talks for you" "Dogs can"t talk, pal. But if you can prove to me yours does, I"ll give you a drink. If not, I get to kick your ass." "Okay," says the guy. He turns to his dog. "Okay fella. Tell me -- what is on top of your doghouse" "Roof!" The man turns and smiles at the bartender. "THAT ain"t talking! Any dog can bark!" "Okay boy. Tell me -- how does sandpaper feel" "Ruff!" "What the hell are you tryin" to pull, mister" "Okay, okay," says the man. "One more question please. Okay buddy, tell me -- who is the greatest ball player who ever lived" "Ruth." The bartender beats the hell out of the guy and throws onto the sidewalk outside of the bar, then throws the dog out next to him. The dog stands up and looks at the guy. "Geez. D"ya think I shoulda said DiMaggio" 关于课前三分钟英语笑话：The Mime and the LionOne day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. However, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, the zookeeper grabs him and drags him into his office. The zookeeper explains to the mime that the zoo"s most popular attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly. The keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off. He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts. The next morning, before the crowd arrives, the mime puts on thegorilla suit and enters the cage. He discovers that it"s a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime. However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he gets bored just swinging on tires. He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across a partition, and dangles from the top to the lion"s cage. Of course, this makes the lion furious, but the crowd loves it. At the end of the day the zookeeper comes and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction as a gorilla. Well, this goes on for some time. The mime keeps taunting the lion, the crowds grow larger, and his salary keeps going up. Then one terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion, he slips and falls. The mime is terrified. The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce. The mime is so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind. Finally, the mime starts screaming and yelling, "Help, Help me!", but the lion is quick andpounces. The mime soon finds himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and the lion says, "Shut up you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired"。
有趣的五分钟英语演讲
有趣的五分钟英语演讲有趣的五分钟英语演讲有趣的五分钟英语演讲1Good morning everyone，may I have your attention，please?I am glad to be able to give a lecture on this classroom. This once , I want to talk about English. My topic of conversation is that I love English.As everyone knows,English is very important today.It has been used everywhere in the world.It has become the most common language on Internet and for international trade. If we can speak English.well,we will have more chance to succeed.Because more and more people have taken notice of it,the number of the people who go to learn English has increased at a high speed.But for myself,I learn English not only because of its importance and its usefulness,but also because of my love for it.When I learn English, I can feel a different way of thinking which gives me more room to touch the world.When I read English novels,I can feel the pleasure from the book which is different from reading the translation.When I speak English, I can feel the confident from my words.When I write English,I can see the beauty which is not the same as our Chines.I love English,it gives me a colorful dream.I hope I can travel around the world one day. With my good English, I can make friends with many people from different contries.I can see many places of great intrests.I dream that I can go to London,because it is the birth place of English.I also want to use my good English to introduce our great places to the English spoken people,I hope that they can love ourcountry like us.I know, Rome was not built in a day. I believe that after continuous hard study, one day I can speak English very well.If you want to be loved, you should learn to love and be lovable. So I believe as I love English everyday , it will love me too.I am sure that I will realize my dream one day!Thank you!有趣的五分钟英语演讲2Dear judges:I am very glad to make a speech here ! Today I'd like to talk something about English.I love English. English language is now used everywhere in the world. It has become the most common language on Internet and for international trade. Learning English makes me confident and brings me great pleasure.When I was seven, my mother sent me to an English school. At there, I played games and sang English songs with other kids . Then I discovered the beauty of the language, and began my colorful dream in the English world.Everyday, I read English following the tapes. Sometimes, I watch English cartoons.On the weekend, I often go to the English corner. By talking with different people there, I have made more and more friends as well as improved my oral English.I hope I can travel around the world someday. I want to go to America to visit Washington Monument, because the president Washington is my idol. Of course, I want to go to London too, because England is where English language developed. If I can ride my bike in Cambridge university, I will be very happy.I hope I can speak English with everyone in the world. I'll introduce China to them, such as the Great Wall, the Forbidden City and Anshan.。
少儿英语课前三分钟笑话
少儿英语课前三分钟笑话1.少儿英语课前三分钟笑话篇一Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents' hou se.At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their praye rs, when the younger one began praying at the top of his lungs: "I pra y for a bicycle.I pray for a new toy."His older brother leaned over, nudged him and said, "Why are you s houting your prayers? God isn't deaf."To which the little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!"孩子的祈祷两个小男孩在祖父母家过夜。
睡觉的时候，两个小男孩跪在床边开始祈祷，这时小一些的孩子扯开嗓子大声喊道：“我祈求得到一辆自行车。
我祈求有一个新玩具。
”他的哥哥靠过来，用肘轻碰他说：“你为什么这么大声喊叫呢？上帝又不是聋子。
”弟弟回答说：“是的，可是奶奶听不到呀！”2.少儿英语课前三分钟笑话篇二A professor was giving a big test one day to his students.He hand ed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in.T he professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."The next class the professor handed the tests back out.This studen t got back his test and $64 change.一天，教授正在给学生们监考。
五分钟儿童英语笑话故事
五分钟儿童英语笑话故事1.五分钟儿童英语笑话故事visual training视力训练the squad(班，小队) were having “visual training”. one smart recruit(新兵，招募) was asked by the officer to count how many men composed a digging party in a distant field. the party was so faraway(遥远的，恍惚的.) that the men appeared as mere dots, but unhesitatingly(迅速地) the recruit replied：班里正在进行“视力训练”。
一个聪明伶俐的新兵被班长叫出来数远处旷野上采掘队的人数。
采掘队在很远的地方，那些人看起来只是一些小点儿。
但是这个新兵毫不犹豫地回答。
“sixteen men and a sergeant(中士，军士) , sir.”“十六个兵外加一个中士，长官。
”“right, but how do you know there’s a sergeant there?”“正确，可是你怎么知道那儿有一个中士?”“he’s not doing any digging, sir.”“他不干活，长官。
”2.五分钟儿童英语笑话故事这钟准吗?Dan was the doorman of a club in a big city.丹在一个大城市的某个俱乐部当守门人。
Everyday, thousands of people passed his door,每天都有数千人经过他的门口，and a lot of them stopped and asked him, “What’sthe time, please?”而且许多人都会停下来问他:“请问现在几点?”After a few months, Dan said to himself, “I’m not going to answer all those stupid people any more.几个月后，丹想:“我不想再回答这些蠢人提出的问题了，I’m going to buy a big clock我要去买一只大钟，and put it upon the wall here.”把它挂在这儿的墙上。
英语课前三分钟演讲稿幽默（精选15篇）
英语课前三分钟演讲稿幽默（精选15篇）英语课前三分钟幽默篇1Learn How to Say NoWe've all been taught that we should help people. It is the right thing to do and will make us popular with others. It may even win us favors in return. However, we must be realistic. We can't say yes to every request. If we did, we would fail or go crazy for sure. Sometimes we simply don't have the time to help. In this case, we must know how to say no politely.When we need to say no, here is one method we can try. First, we should tell the truth. If we really can't do something, we should just say so. Second, we should remember to refuse requests politely. We must communicate clearly, but must also be sincere and sympathetic. A true friend will understand. Finally, we must not feel guilty about saying no. Sometimes refusing others is the right thing to do. It can save ourselves, and them, a lot of trouble. In short, we cannot please everyone all the time. Refusing favors is a part of life.学习如何说不我们都被教导说，我们应该要帮助别人。
英语幽默笑话5分钟
英语幽默笑话5分钟下面是为您整理的关于“英语幽默笑话5分钟”，希望对您有所帮助。
更多相关精彩内容请锁定生活百科栏目。
英语幽默笑话5分钟1.A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is in their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,'Get the kid.'这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。
如果你只有65岁的话，千万别进退休社区。
因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。
每当要搬东西，抬东西或者装东西时，他们就叫喊，“让小的干吧。
”2.Mother: Freddie, why is your face so red?Freddie: I was running up the street to stop a fight.Mother: That's a very nice thing to do. Who was fighting?Freddie: Me and Jackie Smith.妈妈：弗雷迪，你的脸为什么那么红?弗雷迪：我刚才在大街上跑，为的是阻止一次打架?妈妈：你做的对，谁和谁在打架。
弗雷迪：我和杰克·史密斯。
3.A distinguished clergyman and the elders from his congregation attended an out-of-town meeting that did not finish until rather late. They decided to have something to eat before goint home, but unfortunately the only spot open was a seedy bar-and-grill with a questionable reputation.After being served, one of the elders asked the clergyman to say grace. 'I'd rather not,', the clergyman said, ' I don't want Him to know I'm here.'一位著名牧师和他教区的几位老人出席城外会议直到天黑才开完会，他们打算在回家前吃点东西。
英语课前三分钟笑话[英语幽默短文带翻译]
![英语课前三分钟笑话[英语幽默短文带翻译]](https://img.taocdn.com/s3/m/fa567247284ac850ac024272.png)
英语课前三分钟笑话[英语幽默短文带翻译]英语幽默短文带翻译英语幽默短文带翻译幽默是心灵的微笑。
最深刻的幽默是一颗受了致命伤的心灵发出的微笑。
幽默是心灵的微笑。
最深刻的幽默是一颗受了致命伤的心灵发出的微笑。
小编精心收集了英语幽默短文带翻译，供大家欣赏学习! 英语幽默短文带翻译篇1 Where is the father父亲在哪儿Text(正文): Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings. “Look,“ said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!" "Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father" The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures." 父亲在哪儿兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。
“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀!” “是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。
那爸爸去哪儿了呢” 哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。
” 英语幽默短文带翻译篇2 a teacher said to her class：“who was the first man” 有个老师问班上的学生：“谁是第一个男人” “george washington，”a little boy shouted promptly."乔治·华盛顿，”一个小男孩当即叫道。
一分钟英语小笑话大全
一分钟英语小笑话大全篇一：英语幽默小笑话大全英语幽默小笑话大全1.a kissAt a dinner party, the speaker, who was the guest of honor, was about to deliver a speech when his wife sitting at the other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the word “KISS” scribbl ed on it.The guest seated next to the speaker said, “Your wife must love you very much, I see her send you a ‘KISS’ before you begin your speech.”The speaker smiled and explained, “You don’t know my wife. The ‘KISS’ she give me stands for ‘Keep It Short, Stupid.’”2.A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, “Everyone who thinks you’re stupid, stand up!”Little Johnny then stood up.The teacher said, “Do you think you’re stupid, Johnny?”“No, ma’am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!”一个老师在对学生们讲心理学，“谁认为自己蠢就站起来？”她一开始就说。
- 1、下载文档前请自行甄别文档内容的完整性，平台不提供额外的编辑、内容补充、找答案等附加服务。
- 2、"仅部分预览"的文档,不可在线预览部分如存在完整性等问题,可反馈申请退款(可完整预览的文档不适用该条件!)。
- 3、如文档侵犯您的权益，请联系客服反馈,我们会尽快为您处理(人工客服工作时间：9:00-18:30)。
课前五分钟智力趣味幽默星沙英语网.txt如果我能够看到自己的影子，我想它一定很忧伤，因为我把快乐都留在了前面。
容易伤害别人和自己的人，总是对距离的边缘模糊不清的人。
课前五分钟智力趣味幽默Are you going to treat me?An American actress came to China for the first time. One day when she was looking for her new Chinese friend after a performance, she came across an anxious Chinese who had always wanted to practice his English with native speakers, but had never found the chance. When he saw the actress, he went up and exchanged greetings, then started his practice.“How old are you?”“I’m sorry. Please don’t ask a lady about her age,” the actress said uneasily.“How much do you earn each month?” the Chinese tried hard to recall this sentence from his textbook.“Sorry again. We don’t feel like telling others about that either, “ she again refused to answer.“Have you had lunch?” the Chinese tried again to show his traditional way of greeting.“No, are you planning to treat me to a meal?’ she asked in surprise.你要请客吗？有位美国女演员首次来中国演出，有一天演出结束后在找她的中国朋友时，碰见一位总想与老外练讲英语的中国人，可惜他一直没有这样的机会。
当看到这位女演员时，他走上前去互相问候，接着便练起英语来。
“你多大啦？”“对不起，请不要问女士的年龄，”演员感到很不自在。
“你每月挣多少钱？”中国人极力回忆着教科书上的句子。
“对不起，我们也不愿意把这事告诉给人家。
”她再次拒绝了对方。
“你吃过饭了吗？”中国人再次用本民族的传方式询问对方。
“没有，你要请我吃饭吗？”她惊喜地问。
Busy with appointmentsTwo friends meet in the street when the following conversation takes place.Jane: “Well, you know, I have so many appointments with my doctor these days.”Mary: “nothing wrong with me physically. The doctor is my fiancée.”忙于约会两个朋友在街上见面后说了下面这段话。
珍妮：“最近没有见到您，忙什么呢？”玛丽：“哦，您知道，我最近一直在忙着看医生。
”珍妮：“您患了什么病？”玛丽：“我的身体没患任何病，医生是我未婚夫。
”More intelligent in DreamsWhen a student failed to solve a math problem in class, he expressed his regret to his teacher.“I remember solving the problem in my dream last night, but for the time being I’ve forgotten it. What can that mean?”“It means that you are more intelligent in dreams than when you areawake.” The teacher explained.梦中更聪明一名没学生在班上没有做出老师的数学题，他感到很遗憾，对老师解释说；“我记得昨天夜里做梦时这道题解对了，但现在一时想不起了。
这说明什么？”“这说明你做梦的时候比你醒着的时候更聪明。
”Alone and LonelyWilliam Henry is a young American professor who has been teaching in aChinese college for three years. He is popular among his students for his student for his intelligence and patience. He also has several favoritestudents. Among them is a beautiful girl, the monitor of the class, whohas left a deep impression on him with her active class performance. After the last class before graduation, the girl asked the young professor aquestion as she had done before.“Mr Henry, would you tell me the difference between ‘alone’ and ‘lonely’?”“Well, …let me explain this with my own example,” the young teacher started. “I live alone. That means that I live by myself, without thecompany of others. But I don’t feel lonely because I have so many students around me, especially you. You’re special to me. So after your graduation please don’t leave me alone, or I’ll feel lonely. Catch the meaning now?”孤独和孤单威廉•亨利是一位年轻的美国教授，他在中国一所大学任教已有三年了，他知识渊博，又耐心，深受学生欢迎。
他还有几位得意门生呢。
有一位漂亮的女班长课堂积极活跃而讨教师欢心。
在毕业前的最后一节课上，这位女生又像往常一样提问题。
“先生，请您讲解一下‘alone’和‘lonely ’这两个英语单词的区分好吗？”“噢，…让我用自身举例吧。
我独自住，那就是说，我没跟其他人一起住。
但我并不感到孤单，因为我周围有这么多学生，特别是有你在。
你是那么与众不同。
因此，毕业后，请不要让我独自一人，否则我会感到孤单的，现在你能明白了吧”Be a Little PatientA man suddenly found that he was shrinking. Each day he was gettingsmaller and smaller. Very worried, he went to the doctor’s office. “I’ve got to see the doctor!” the man demanded, frantically.“He’s very busy,” the nurse calmly replied.“Just take a seat and be a little patient.”小病人一位男子突然发现自己越来越矮，他担忧地走进一家诊疗所。
“我要见大夫！”他着急地喊叫。
“他正忙着呢。
”护士镇定地说。
“你就坐着当个小病人吧。
（耐心地等吧）。
”（英文单词patient作名词时有“病人”的意思，而用形容词时有“耐心的”意思。
）星沙英语网Even Better?The other day I met my Chinese friend Mr. Deng. He dad been studyingEnglish in night school for aboutTwo years.“How are you getting on with your English, Deng?” I asked him.“Oh, quite well. Sometimes I feel my English is better than my Chinese,” he articulated with pride.“Really?” I could not hold back my disbelief. “How do you know?”“Well, often when I speak English, I don’t know its Chinese meaning.”更好?几天前，我碰见我的中国朋友邓先生，他在夜校学习英语两年多了。
“你的英语学得怎么样了，邓？”我问他。
“哦，不错，有时觉得我的英语比汉语还好，”他很自豪地说。
“真的？”我无法控制自己的怀疑态度，“你怎么知道？”“噢，我讲英语时，经常不知道汉语是什么意思。
”Pay Special Attention to the Waythe Chinese speak EnglishAn American student studying in Chinese found it difficult to speakidiomatic Chinese. One day he asked his roommate who was also learningChinese.“Sometimes I have the same problem. But from my personal experience, I have noticed that you would sound more Chinese the way the Chinese speak Engllish. For example, ‘I next year will from Beijing languages Institute graduate.’”注意中国人讲英语的方式一位美国留学生在中国学汉语。