小学五年级英语幽默小故事(三篇)
英语幽默小故事(共8篇)
英语幽默小故事〔共8篇〕篇1：英语幽默小故事 Don't Pick Up the Money on the GroundAn economist professor and a student are walking down the street when they see a $20 bill lying on the sidewalk in front of them. The student goes to pick up the money but his professor stops him and tells him not to bother.Why not?If it were a real twenty-dollar bill, someone would have picked it up already.Everything that can be invented has been invented.别捡地上的钱一位经济学教授和一名学生正在大街上行走，这时他们看到前面的人行道上躺着一张20美元面值的钞票。
学生走过去准备捡，教授制止了他，告诉他别自寻烦恼。
“为什么不捡?”“假设那是一张真20美元钞票的话，早就有人捡走了。
”“该创造的都已经被创造出来了。
”篇2：英语幽默小故事 The Less You Know, the More Money You MakeTheorem: Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives.Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.Postulate 2: Time is Money.As every engineer knows, Power=Work/Time. Since Knowledge=Power, and Time=Money, we haveKnowledge=Work/Money. Solving for Money, we get: Money=Work/Knowledge.Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done.Conclusion: The less you know, the more money you make.知识越少挣钱越多定理：工程师和科学家永远应当比经济专家挣钱少。
英语幽默小故事
英语幽默小故事故事1：The Mischievous ParrotOne day, a man named John went to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shopkeeper showed him a beautiful parrot, which could speak many languages. Impressed, John decided to take it home.However, as soon as John reached home, he realized that the parrot was quite mischievous. It would imitate John's voice and play pranks on him. The parrot would hide his keys, steal his wallet, and even mimic his wife's voice to confuse him.Despite the trouble, John found the parrot's antics amusing and couldn't help but laugh. He decided to name the parrot Charlie, as it perfectly suited its cheeky personality.One day, John's friend came to visit. Charlie, being the clever parrot he was, decided to have some fun. As John and his friend sat down to chat, Charlie imitated their voices and pretended to have a conversation, switching back and forth between their voices flawlessly. John's friend was astonishedand couldn't figure out how both of them were speaking at the same time.Soon, Charlie realized that his prank had gone too far. He feared that John's friend would get upset or angry, so he quickly revealed his trick by saying, \。
幽默简短的英语小故事
幽默简短的英语小故事幽默简短的英语小故事（精选16篇）在平时阅读幽默又简短的一些英语小故事，是可以帮助提高我们的英语水平的。
一起来看看店铺为大家整理幽默简短的英语小故事，欢迎大家阅读!幽默简短的英语小故事篇1The Old Cat：An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it.Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young."幽默简短的英语小故事篇2Everybody dreams of doing something important. As a boy Raymond dreamed of being a scientist,infact, he is a postman now.Raymon d is an active young man. He livesby the saying“If you can't live the life you love, love the life you live”He greets everyone with a big smileand afriendly“Hi, howare you?”And he really wants to know! It's hardto feel unhappy when we hear him whistling happily up and down the street.幽默简短的英语小故事篇3Not long after my sister's wedding，one of my father's colleagues and his wife dropped in to see Mom and Dad.Theguests had not been invited to the wedding, so when the woman said，”I'm sorry I didn't get over to t he church the other day，”Mom assumed she meant the church's Good Cheer Club Tea and Bazaar."I'rn glad you didn't.”Mom replied.”You never saw such a mob scene!""I thought I'd like to see how everyone was dressed，"the guest said."What did you wear?""Just m y old navy print and my oxfords,“said Mom，"and a good thing，too，as we cleared almost a thousand dollars. ""Did you take a collection?"the woman gasped.“"Oh, no，“said Mom，"you know how it is，a lot of people come just to look and you don't make a thing out of them，so we decided to charge admission at the door.”At this point Dad realized signals were crossed，and he suggested to Mom that she explain that my sister's wedding had been neither a mob scene nor a profit-making venture.幽默简短的英语小故事篇4A big一city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher claimed that the bull must have been hit by the train, and wanted o be paid the fair value of the bull.The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store. As soon as the rancher showed up, the attorney for the railroad pulled him aside and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking. After the rancher had signed the release and took the check，the young lawyer couldn’t resist gloating a little over his success，telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, oldman，but I put one over on you in there. I couldn’t have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn’t have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!”The old rancher replied，"Well，I’11 tell you，young Teller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that darned bull came home this morning.”幽默简短的英语小故事篇5One day, Robin Hood went hunting alone in the forest. He had told his men that if he should fall into any danger and could not escape he would blow his horn so that they might know and come to help him. When he was crossing a river by a long bridge he met a huge man at the middle.And neither of the two would give way to the other. Robin Hood got angry and put an arrow to his bow and made ready to shoot. The stranger said it was unfair for Robin Hood to shoot a man who had only a staff in his hand. Hearing this Robin Hood lay down his bow and pulled up a small tree and returned to the stranger.幽默简短的英语小故事篇6A farmer is wondering how many sheep he has in his field, so he asks his sheepdog to count them. The dog runs into the field, counts them, and then runs back to his master."So," says the farmer. "How many sheep were there?""40," replies the dog."How can there be 40?" exclaims the farmer. "I only bought 38!""I know," says the dog. "But I rounded them up."幽默简短的英语小故事篇7Many years afterreceivingmygraduatedegree, I returned tothe State University of New York at Binghamton as afacultymember. One day in a crowdedelevator, someone remarked on itsinefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a student.When the door finally opened, I felt acompassionatepaton my back, and turned to see an elderly nun smiling at me. "You'll get that degree, dear," shewhispered. "Perseverance is a virtue." 幽默简短的英语小故事篇8A newly married woman was sitting on a chair, looking vexed, when her husband came home. "What's up? Why do you look so troubled?" the husband asked. The woman replied, "I'm so sorry.I was ironing your new suit andburned a hole in your trousers." And the man said, "That's all right. I have another pair that is exactly the same.""Thank God you do. I used it to mend this pair," the wife responded.幽默简短的英语小故事篇9A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked if this was it. God said, "No you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live." Upon recovery the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, lip-suction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc.She even had someone come in and change her hair color, figuring since she had so much more time to live, she might as well make the most of it. She got out of the hospital after the last operation and while crossing the street was killed by an ambulance speeding to the hospital. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 Years? "God replied, "I didn't recognize you."幽默简短的英语小故事篇10The parents with their three-year-old son went to see film. When they walked into the cinema, the attendant said to them, “you’ll have to go out if your son cries. But we’ll refund you the tic kets.”About half an hour later, the husband asked his wife, “What do you think of the film?” “I’ve never seen such a boring film.” His wife answered. “It’s not worth seeing.” “I don’t think much of it, either.” The husband said. “Wake the child up and let him cry.”幽默简短的英语小故事篇11A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator.Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, "I should have brought my wife!"幽默简短的英语小故事篇12Mr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before ， so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr. Johnson was very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and Mr. Johnson boarded the plane.His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. Mr. Johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes.After a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, "Look at those people down there. They look as small as ants, don't they?""Those are ants," answered his friend. "We're still on the ground."幽默简短的英语小故事篇13A blind man was waiting to cross the road when his guide dog cocked its leg, then urinated on its owner. Calmly, the blind man reached into his pocket and took out a biscuit for the dog.A passerby who'd seen everything remarked: "That’s extremely tolerant of you, especially after what he just did.”"Not really，”came the reply. "I’m just finding out where his mouth is, so I can kick him in the nuts.”幽默简短的英语小故事篇14Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he re- quested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing. Five minutes later, Jan came run- ping up to him yelling, "Oscar! Oscar!I just saw someone driving off wit h your new Mercedes!”"Dear God! Did you try to stop him?""No,”she said，"I did better than that! I got the license plate number”幽默简短的英语小故事篇15A famous game theorist, having won the Clark prize, was set to give aseries of lectures at prestigious universities throughout the northeast. For thetask, he hired a car and driver to take him from place to place . With nothing else to do, the driver would sit in on the highlytechnical lectures. After several lectures, the driver commented to theeconomist, "You know, I've heard your lecture so much that I think I coulddeliver it myself." Theeconomist found this idea intriguing and decided toswitch places with him at his next lecture.The driver gave the talk flawlessly. However, after the lecture, some onein the audience asked him a rather technical question that the driver had noidea how to even begin to answer. The driver considered it for a moment, andthen replied, "That question is so easy, even my driver can answer it."幽默简短的英语小故事篇16The miserly millionaire ca lled a family conference, “ I’m placing a box of money in the attic,” he said.” When I die, I intend to grab it on my way up to heaven. See to it that no one touches it until it’s my time too go.”The family respected his wishes. After his death, the milli onaire’s wife looked in the attic. The box was still there. “ THE FOOL!” she said. ”I told him he should have put it in the basement.”。
英语幽默小故事14篇
Gardening Gloves For months I hinted that I needed a new wedding ring, since I had developed an
allergy to gold. On my birthday, while I was gardening, my husband asked me for gift suggestions. I held my hands up and said, "Well, you‘ll notice that my hands are bare." Later that evening I opened my present with enthusiasm. "Happy birthday," he said, as I unwrapped a new pair of gardening gloves. 园艺手套 几个月以来，我一直在向丈夫暗示我需要一枚新的结婚戒指，因为我对黄金有点过敏。生日那天，我正在 干园艺活时，丈夫问我想要什么礼物。我举起双手说：“嗯，你肯定看到了，我的两手都是光光的。” 那天晚上，我满怀热情地拆开了丈夫送的.礼物。“生日快乐!”他说。我打开一看：里面包着一双园艺手套。
英语幽默小故事 篇8
Very Pleased to Meet You During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers. One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for seve Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wound Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys."
【适合五年级的简单英语小笑话】 英语笑话简单爆笑(共3页)
【适合五年级的简单英语小笑话】英语笑话简单爆笑[模版仅供参考，切勿通篇使用]笑话作为民间俗文学的一种重要体裁,具有深厚的民族文化内涵。
下面是XX带来的适合五年级的简单英语小笑话，欢迎欣赏!适合五年级的简单英语小笑话篇1The teacher said: "If the shepherd put twenty sheep out to feed on the grass in a field, five of them jumped a fence, how many sheep would be left?""None," called out little Mac. The teacher said: "I am surprised that you can't count correctly.I know that you are good at arithmetic, but you have made such a mistake now."Little Mac said: "You know arithmetic, teacher, but you don't know sheep.I know that if one sheep jumped, the rest will follow it to do the same."老师说：“如果牧羊人把20只羊放到牧场上去吃草，有5只羊跳出了围栏，还会剩下多少只?”小麦克大声回答说：“一只都没有。
”老师说：“我很惊讶，你竟然不会算数。
我知道你的算术很好的，现在竟会出错。
”小麦克说：“老师，你懂算术，但你不了解羊。
英语小故事我知道，若是有一只羊跳了出去，其余的就会跟着她跳出去适合五年级的简单英语小笑话篇2A man was telling a story to his son, a four-year-old boy.The boy noticed a lock of gray hair on his father's head and asked: "Why are some of your gray, papa?""Papa will get a gray hair every time his little boy is naughty," said his father, thinking to take the advantage of this opportunity to give him a moral lessonThe boy thought for a moment, and then naively said: "Oh, I see why my grandpapa has a lot of gray hair on his head. I think he must have had very naughty boys."有个人给他的儿子，一个4岁的男孩讲故事。
超级搞笑英语笑话小短文
超级搞笑英语笑话小短文【篇一】超级搞笑英语笑话小短文给予与提取M.friend’.preparation.fo..visi.fro.he.childre.incl ude..tri.t.th.bank.Waitin.i.lin.a.th.teller’.windo mente.t.th.middle-age.ma.behind.her,”M.childre.ar.i.thei.20’s，an.I’.stil.givin.the.money.Whe.doe.i.end?”我的朋友为其子女的光临做着一些准备工作。
这些工作当然包括要到银行去一超。
当她在出纳员的窗外排队等候时，她对她身后的一位中年男子说:“我的孩子们都20多岁了，可我仍然得给他们钱。
这种事什么时候才算完呢?””I’.no.sure，”th.ma.replie.whil.glancin.uncomfortabl.a..pape.i.hi .hand，”bu.I`.no.th.on.t.ask.I’.her.t.deposi..chec.m.mothe .gav.me.”“我可不知道。
”那位男子边回答边不安地看着手里拿着的那张纸。
“我可不是你该问的人，我到这儿是来支取我妈妈给我的支票的。
”【篇二】超级搞笑英语笑话小短文妻子的欲望.woma.an.he.husban.wer.ou.shoppin.whe.sh.realiz e.tha.sh.neede.t.purchas.som.hai.colo.fo.he.grayin. hair.一位女士在与他的丈夫购物时，她意识到她该为她的灰白头发买些染发水了。
”Whe.ar.yo.goin.t.sto.buyin.tha.expensiv.stuf.,”complaine.th.husband.”an.le.you.hai.g.gra.lik.Barbar.Bush?”她丈夫抱怨说:“你什么时候才能停止买那些昂贵的东西，而让你的头发长成像芭芭拉.布什(总统夫人)的头发那样灰白呢?””Th.da.tha.you’r.inaugurated,”th.wif.replied.“那就要等到你就职的那天了。
儿童英文幽默小故事带翻译
儿童英文幽默小故事带翻译这个世界上有成千上万不可计数的英文故事，它们的风格多样，千变万化，诡异万千，有幽默类型的，有推理类型的也有灵异类型的。
今天为大家奉上儿童英文幽默小故事，时间难得，何不深入了解一下让自己的收获更多呢?儿童英文幽默小故事(一)It Must Be CrowdedA teacher is telling his students, “The moon is very large. Several millions people can live there.”And a boy laughs and says, “It must get crowded when it’s a crescent moon.”一定很拥挤一位告诉学生：“月亮非常大，上面能住几百人。
”一个男孩笑着说：“当月亮变成月牙的时候，住在上面的人该多拥挤啊!”儿童英文幽默小故事(二)I can’t Cook ItIt’s sunny day in spring. Miss Cat is fishing. Suddenly the fishing rod moves. “Great! Oh, it’s so heavy!” Miss Cat says happily.The fish is plucked out of the river. “Oh, a big fish! How big the fish is!” She cheers. But she puts the fish into the river and goes on fishing.At th e time Mr. House goes by and sees it. “What do you set it free?” He asks. “Because my pot is too small. I can’t cook it,” Miss Cat says.我没法煮它这是春天里一个阳光明媚的日子，猫小姐在河边钓鱼。
小学五年级英语幽默小故事(三篇)
小学五年级英语幽默小故事（三篇）Across a small drugstore, a large chain store was newly opened and would defeat the businessof the small drugstore.The shopkeeper of the drugstore went to a priest to talk about his concern. The priestsuggested, “You stand in front of your store every day to pray for it to prosper, and then turnaround to pray for that chain store likewise, that is, to embrace your en emy in public.”Some days later, as what the shopkeeper worried, his store shut down, but he was appointedas the manager of the chain store, and earned more than before.一间小杂货店对面新开了一家大型连锁商店，这家商店即将打垮杂货店的生意。
杂货店老板找牧师诉苦。
牧师建议他：“每天早上站在商店门前祈祷你的商店生意兴隆，然后转过身去，也同样祈祷那家连锁商店，也就是当众拥抱你的敌人。
”一段日子后，正如这人当初所担心的，他的商店关门了，但他却被聘为那家连锁店的经理，而且收入比以前更好。
【家规】Mr. and Mrs. Jones very seldom go out in the evening, but last saturday, Mrs. Jones said to her husband, "There is a good film at the cinema tonight. Can we go and see it?"Mr. Jones was quite happy about it, so they went, and both of them enjoyed the film.They came out of the cinema at 11 o'clock, got into their car and began driving home. It was quite dark. Then Mrs.Jones said, "Look, Bill. A woman's running along the roadvery fast, and a man's running after her. Can you see them?"Mr. Jones said, "Yes, I can." He drove the car slowlynear the woman and said to her, "Can we help you?""No, thank you," the woman said, but she did not stop running. "My husband and I always run home after the cinema, and the last one washes the dishes at home!"家规琼斯夫妇晚上很少出门，但上星期六，琼斯太太对丈夫说：“电影院今晚有场好电影，我们去看好吗?”琼斯先生很乐意，于是他们就去了。
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小学五年级英语幽默小故事（三篇）
Across a small drugstore, a large chain store was newly opened and would defeat the businessof the small drugstore.
The shopkeeper of the drugstore went to a priest to talk about his concern. The priestsuggested, “You stand in front of your store every day to pray for it to prosper, and then turnaround to pray for that chain store likewise, that is, to embrace your en emy in public.”
Some days later, as what the shopkeeper worried, his store shut down, but he was appointedas the manager of the chain store, and earned more than before.
一间小杂货店对面新开了一家大型连锁商店，这家商店即将打垮杂货店的生意。
杂货店老板找牧师诉苦。
牧师建议他：“每天早上站在商店门前祈祷你的商店生意兴隆，然后转过身去，也同样祈祷那家连锁商店，也就是当众拥抱你的敌人。
”
一段日子后，正如这人当初所担心的，他的商店关门了，但他却被聘为那家连锁店的经理，而且收入比以前更好。
【家规】
Mr. and Mrs. Jones very seldom go out in the evening, but last saturday, Mrs. Jones said to her husband, "There is a good film at the cinema tonight. Can we go and see it?"
Mr. Jones was quite happy about it, so they went, and both of them enjoyed the film.
They came out of the cinema at 11 o'clock, got into their car and began driving home. It was quite dark. Then Mrs.
Jones said, "Look, Bill. A woman's running along the road
very fast, and a man's running after her. Can you see them?"
Mr. Jones said, "Yes, I can." He drove the car slowly
near the woman and said to her, "Can we help you?"
"No, thank you," the woman said, but she did not stop running. "My husband and I always run home after the cinema, and the last one washes the dishes at home!"
家规
琼斯夫妇晚上很少出门，但上星期六，琼斯太太对丈夫说：“电
影院今晚有场好电影，我们去看好吗?”
琼斯先生很乐意，于是他们就去了。
两个人都喜欢那部电影。
晚上十一点，他们从电影院出来，钻进汽车，开始驾车回家。
天
很黑。
这时，琼斯太太说：“看，比尔。
一个女人在沿街狂奔，一个
男人在后猛追不舍。
你看到了吗?”
琼斯先生说：“是的，看到了。
”他慢慢把车开近那女人，说道：“你需要帮忙吗?”
“不，谢谢，”女人答道，但她没有放慢速度，“我丈夫跟我在
看完电影后，经常跑步回家，后到家的洗碗涮碟。
”
【画蛇添足】
One day, Mr. Lion holds a party. Many animals come and drink a lot of wine. At last there is a pot of wine. Who can drink it? They drink out an idea and decide to have a match-Draw a snake. If you finish first, you can get it.
Soon Mr.Wolf finishes drawing. “Yeah, I’ve finished.
I’m No.1,” he says. But he draws again and says, “Oh, let me add feet and my snake.” At the time, Mr. Gorilla also finishes. He takes away the pot of wine and drinks, then he says, “That isn’t a snake. Snakes have no feet. I get the wine.”
画蛇添足
一天，狮子先生举行一场聚会，很多动物都来了，他们喝很多酒。
最后只剩一壶酒了。
让谁喝呢?它们想了想，有个主意。
它们比赛画蛇，谁最快画好，谁就喝这壶酒。
不一会，狼先生画好了。
“哈，我画好了，我是第一个。
”它说。
不过它又画了起来，它还说：“再给它加几只脚吧。
”这是猩猩先生
也画好了。
它拿起那酒壶喝起来。
一边喝一边说：“那不是蛇，蛇是
没有脚的，我赢了这壶酒。
”。